Dismissed True Stories
Dismissed True Stories is a survivor-led podcast that dares to break the silence around domestic violence, emotional abuse, and toxic relationships. Each episode shares the raw, unfiltered realities of what abuse really looks like. From overlooked red flags to moments of escape, and everything in between.
Created by a survivor-turned-advocate with a broadcasting background, DTS is where stories once silenced are now spoken. Loudly, honestly, and without apology. We’re not here to sensationalize abuse; we’re here to humanize survivors.
You’ll hear from survivors finding their voices, families forever changed by loss, and organizations working to support healing and recovery. Sometimes, it’s one survivor passing the mic to another with a piece of advice that could change or.. save a life.
But DTS isn’t just about telling stories of survival. Each episode's commentary helps you decode your own story, make sense of your experiences, and see the patterns you might have missed while in survival mode.
The tone? Like talking with a trusted friend. No fluff. Just truth.
Whether you're navigating narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, or coercive control or you're in the process of rebuilding your self-worth and healing your trauma this space is for you.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is finally tell your own story.
Survivor-led. Heart-led. Truth-led.
#DismissedTrueStories | A podcast for survivors and victims, by survivors.
Dismissed True Stories
Hunted: A Mother On The Run Ep 1
A mother of three children with special needs has been running for her life for nearly six years. Now, with her abuser scheduled for release from prison in November—a man who told a judge he's coming to find her—time is running out.
Sarah's story begins with profound childhood trauma. At nine years old, she lost her father to cancer, only to be sexually abused by a family friend weeks later. Her mother quickly remarried and left Sarah to navigate her grief alone, setting the stage for a lifetime of seeking love and safety in all the wrong places. This childhood betrayal formed the foundation for cycles of abuse that would follow her into adulthood.
What makes Sarah's case so disturbing is that she's done everything "right." She's filed police reports across multiple jurisdictions, testified in court, obtained restraining orders, and relocated her family repeatedly. Yet the system continues to fail her at every turn. The Address Confidentiality Program, designed to protect survivors like her, processed her application so slowly that her real address became public record—accessible to anyone, including her abuser who has a documented history of shooting a previous girlfriend.
Sarah's resilience shines through her determination to rebuild her life while protecting her children. She's self-published three books, including "Memoirs of a Mama on the Run," documenting her experiences and offering guidance to other survivors. Through social media, she shares her story, hoping to raise awareness about the gaps in our protection systems for domestic violence victims.
This powerful first episode of Season 3 challenges us to confront uncomfortable truths about how domestic violence cases are deprioritized and mishandled by authorities. Statistics show women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the two weeks after leaving an abuser than at any other time in the relationship, making these systemic delays potentially lethal. As we follow Sarah's journey, we're left asking: What happens when you follow every rule and it's still not enough to keep you safe?
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National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 OR text begin to 88788
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All sound and music courtesy of Epidemic Sound
The following episode contains first-person accounts told directly by the survivor. These are Sarah's lived experiences, shared in her own words. Allegations and descriptions are Sarah's perspective, unless otherwise noted, with reference to public records. This episode discusses domestic violence, stalking, threats with weapons, child abuse and sexual assault. These themes may be distressing. Please take care while listening, step away if you need to and know that resources are available. In the US, you can call or text 988 for immediate mental health support. Violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or by texting START to 88788. If you are outside the US, please check local hotlines and resources available in your area.
Speaker 1:Hey and welcome back to season three of Dismissed True Stories. I'm your host, elissa and girl. When I first sat down with the survivor whose story we'll be telling this season her name is Sarah I thought that we were just going to record a single interview. That's how a lot of these stories come to light. I'll spend a couple of hours with a survivor talking about their lived experience, but a one and done joke was on me, because then, as Sarah is telling her story, she starts dropping truth bombs on me, and I mean the kind of bombs where I literally had to stop her mid-sentence and be like wait what, literally had to stop her mid-sentence and be like wait what? So every conversation with Sarah led to another door that I needed to open, something else that I needed to know more about. I was absolutely captivated with her and another piece of her life just would unfold and demand to be told it. Before I knew it, sarah's story had turned into this An entire season, and I don't want to spend too much time in this introduction to my introduction of season three. So let's get into it. Let's cue the transitional music, because the truth is, sarah's story is unlike any interview that I've ever had, because when she first reached out to me, she didn't call it her story in my inbox. She actually called it her life or death plea, and that, after interviewing her, was absolutely no exaggeration.
Speaker 1:Her abuser, a man with a documented history of terrorizing and stalking her, is scheduled for release from prison in just a few weeks and at his parole hearing he told the judge that as soon as he is free, he is coming to find her. For nearly six years, sarah has been running across cities, across states and sometimes even living out of her car. She is a mother of three children with special needs, a survivor of domestic violence and child abuse and betrayal at the deepest levels. She is also an author who has chosen to use her words and her story as both a warning and a call to action. And in interviewing Sarah I realized that the goal of this season is twofold One is to help her find safety before her abuser walks free, and two is to shine a light on the cracks in our systems that make survival feel so impossible for many victims. But before we dive in, I need to be honest with you, and more so with myself, more so with myself.
Speaker 1:This season has been one of the hardest things that I have ever worked on and, as a survivor, listening to and editing Sarah's story has opened up doors in my own memory. It has triggered me significantly and forced me to stare my own trauma in the face. There were times where I cried after logging off of an interview, times where I had to remind myself to breathe. I mean hell. I have nearly redecorated and rearranged my entire house because of an overwhelming need just to move Sarah's story out of my body, because during interviews I found myself leaning forward into the computer screen, completely captivated, almost like I was absorbing her grief and her fear, grief and her fear. And Sarah is incredibly brave and also a gifted storyteller. So please, please, take care of yourself.
Speaker 1:While listening to this season, I've learned that I've needed to wear two hats through this process One as a survivor who absolutely feels Sarah's fear in my bones, and another as a podcaster and a broadcaster dedicated to telling her story with the clarity and the weight that it deserves. And that duality is the heartbeat of this podcast. Dismissed true stories. They're not just stories here. We're telling lived experiences, all the raw, all the real, all the emotional, all of those heavy emotions that come with lived experiences. But those stories, those lived experiences, they also carry validation and education and, of course, the sidebar commentary moments that help us all come up for air and resurface from those emotions together. Sarah's story is not by any means easy to hear, but I believe that is the point, because the cycle of abuse thrives in silence and this season, like every season before, we're breaking it One episode, one sentence and one story at a time. So let's get into it.
Speaker 2:Hi, my name is Sarah and this is my story.
Speaker 1:Sarah and I spoke one time before sitting down to record. She dives right into it and, after getting to know Sarah over the past two months, I know it's because she's lived a life where she has never been heard. You're going to hear Sarah say that we've been running for almost six years and as we're recording this, it's early fall. Her abuser, the man that she's been running from for six years, is scheduled to release from prison this November.
Speaker 2:Right now things are kind of stressful. We have been running from my ex for over five years. We're almost at six years at this point and he's getting out of prison in November. And when I went to his parole hearing a few months ago, he told the judge that as soon as he's released in November that he's coming to find me and that he wants his son back. And the judge just told him we'll just try to do it the legal way this time. Like I don't have a whole string of police reports from multiple cities, multiple states.
Speaker 2:We've relocated again and again and again and he just refuses to give up. I found out after I started running from him that he was on parole for shooting his other ex girlfriend. I truly, truly, truly believe that if we cannot afford to relocate before he gets released from prison, that he's going to be able to find me. So the last time we relocated to a new state, I had signed up for the address confidentiality program for victims. The problem with that is it took them months to approve my application. So by the time I got my acceptance letter it was already too late. I already had an apartment and bills in my name because I didn't have any other address to use. So currently, if you, you know, if you look me up, you can find my address and that makes it really easy for him.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I absolutely feel like as soon as he gets out, we are in danger and we need to relocate, and we need to relocate ASAP, or, you know, we may not survive this next encounter with him, because I didn't think I was going to make it out of the last encounter I had with him and by the grace of God, I survived and I'm able to be here to tell my story. But I want to be able to continue to tell my story and I am afraid that you know, if we don't get some sort of support, that the only story I'm going to have left is all my TikTok posts of begging the world to see my situation and understand that this is serious and this is where I ask Sarah well, what happened in your first encounter with him?
Speaker 2:So he held me hostage at knife point. He told me that he was going to cut my scalp off and he said that if I screamed he was going to make sure my kids have nightmares for the rest of their lives.
Speaker 1:I know that's shocking to hear, but I do want to challenge you to sit in silence for just a few moments in Sarah's truth Now. We won't be getting into this specific interaction today, but we will dive into it later in this season.
Speaker 2:You know, I've gone through every legal avenue. I've made the police reports, I have gone to court, I have testified, I have relocated numerous times and he just continues to terrorize me, no matter what I do.
Speaker 1:Let me pause right here for a second and explain what Sarah is talking about, especially if you live outside of the US. Most states here have something called an address confidentiality program and the idea is pretty simple Survivors of domestic violence, stalking or sexual assault can use a substitute mailing address, like usually a PO box managed by the state, so that their real location isn't exposed in public records or even on like voter registration. In theory it's a lifeline, but in practice it often takes months to process applications, and survivors like Sarah can't just sit around waiting for approval. They need to rent apartments, they need to set up utilities, enroll their kids in school, all of which require a physical address. So by the time that Sarah got her acceptance letter, it was too late. Her real address was already tied to her name and once that happens it's public. Anyone, including her abuser, can find it.
Speaker 1:So here's the terrifying reality for victims like Sarah, who are constantly on the run, or someone who is just leaving an abusive partner and wants to apply for the Address Confidentiality Program. In theory, yes, it's great, and when it works it's perfect, but leaving an abusive partner is statistically the most dangerous time for a victim. Studies do show that women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the two weeks after leaving than at any other point in the relationship. So when survivors do follow the rules and the system still moves at a snail's pace, that delay can literally be the difference between life and death. So can you explain your process right now? Because you said that you've been through every legal avenue and throughout your story it's very clear that you've tried different jobs, different means of having an income to be able to relocate, but now you're trying something a little different. What is that?
Speaker 2:I just published three different books. Actually, the first book that I created it's called Rebuild your Life a self-help guide for moms starting over, and then I also created a matching self-care journal that goes along with it. But my third book is called Memoirs of a Mama on the Run, and that's more of a in-depth look into my life and how I ended up in some of these situations and what led me to being where I'm at now.
Speaker 1:You go live and you read parts of your book on your TikTok, and then you also have chapters on your TikTok which I've been going through over the past couple of days, found myself getting very frustrated for you, even though I'm not in this situation, because it definitely seems like it's just one thing after the other, after the other, after the other, and I'm sitting there listening, thinking when is she going to get a break?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've lived through probably 30 years of probably enough for 10, 20 people worth of lifetime full of trauma.
Speaker 1:so it's a lot. I wanted to put that little piece of conversation into the podcast because I wanted to bring it full circle, to show you that even when you go through every legal avenue, like Sarah said, she made police reports, she had gone to court, she had testified, she'd relocated numerous times and he just continues to terrorize and come after her, no matter what she does. And this is where my heart breaks, as both a survivor and an advocate, because Sarah has done everything that we tell victims to do she's filed the reports, she's gone to court, she's testified, she's followed the rules, she's gotten different jobs, she has picked up her kids and moved again and again and again, and still it's not enough. And the system tells us that if you play by the rules, then you'll be safe. But what happens when you do everything right? And you're still hunted, and you're still hunted. And this is the part that people don't see.
Speaker 1:Domestic violence isn't prioritized in the ways that it should be. Police reports are often minimized, especially if there are no visible injuries. Cases get passed from one jurisdiction to another when victims relocate, and shelters, of course, are underfunded and understaffed, and the waiting list can stretch for months, and one national study found that only about half of domestic violence survivors who reach out for shelter are able to get in, and I can speak on this because I wasn't able to get in. I slept in a shelter parking lot in my car, and the other half they're turned away because the beds are full. Or you sleep in the parking lot Because the beds are full, or you sleep in the parking lot. And as for legal protections, a restraining order is just a piece of paper if there's no enforcement behind it. So, as a survivor myself, I know the exhaustion of walking out of court thinking I did it, I told the truth, I told the truth, I followed the rules, but yet you're still walking to your treatment or what happens after the fact.
Speaker 1:You own up to a lot of things. You're very honest in your storytelling, but where I want to start is kind of at the beginning of your story, because you wrote to me. You said to be honest, I've been abused my entire life, raised by a narcissistic sociopath of a mother. My father died when I was just nine years old and my mother was remarried in less than a year and was too busy with her new husband to care about my feelings of loss. I acted out as a teenager, desperate for love and attention. My parents would say we buy you everything you want. Why are you like this? The truth is I didn't need stuff. I needed a mother. I was grieving my father's death and then sexually abused by my family friend for months, and my mother was too consumed in her new marriage to notice the little girl that just needed someone to be there for her. Yep, my son is nine.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And so this hit me where it hurts.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:To put my son in in your shoes and to look at him and to realize how innocent he is, um, and that he's, he's just a baby, like he hadn't even. He hasn't even reached double digits yet, and neither had you right can you? Can you talk about your father? Was he a safe person for you?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and I think that's the reason why I've had such a hard time grieving him, because my dad and my grandfather actually were both really great men. My grandparents have the cutest love story. My parents were high school sweethearts. My dad was actually diagnosed with cancer just a couple months after I was born, so I grew up with him in and out of the hospital a lot With him, knowing that he had a ticking clock on his lifetime. He was so dedicated to making sure that I remembered him in the light that he wanted me to remember. He was very adamant about making sure that he passed down the values and he just really wanted me to be self-aware and made sure that I always knew to stand up for myself. He said never let anyone tell you that you can't do something. Always wear your heart on your sleeve. If you believe in something, fight for it and don't ever give up. Always stay true to yourself. Always love yourself.
Speaker 2:I was daddy's little girl, 100% all the way, so losing him at nine was just earth shattering. I don't really ever remember my mom being very comforting or there for me at all. Really, I just don't ever really remember any happy memories with her before his passing, so losing him was extremely hard. And then my mom moved another man into our house just six months after he passed. So the house we lived in was actually an early inheritance from my grandparents. They bought that, built that house for us right after I was born. The agreement was that my mom was supposed to raise me in that house and then I was supposed to inherit the house once I became an adult. But because my mother moved another man in, six months later my grandparents came and they were like I'm sorry, but I really don't support your decision. I don't think this is right for your daughter. I don't think that this is acceptable and I don't want this man living in this house. You know, my stepdad was like well, I don't care what you think, and I'm going to be here regardless and there's nothing you can do about it. And my grandpa said, ok, well, this house is still in my name, so actually I can do something about it and I don't want you guys to live here anymore if you're not going to make him move out. And so they said, ok, well, we'll move out. So they gave up that house that I was supposed to inherit. They moved on with their relationship.
Speaker 2:I was just kind of left in the dust because they were so consumed in their new relationship. They used to go to the casino every single weekend and I was either left at home unsupervised or I was left alone in the casino unsupervised. So I was spending a ton of time with just myself, no support system. I began to search for love in all the wrong places because I didn't have it at home. I never had a support system.
Speaker 2:Every time I would come to my parents and explain how upset I was, or explain how I was grieving, or explain what I was going through. They would continue to tell me you know, the world does not revolve around you, it's not just you going through this. And I feel like I was really silenced for a lot of years and I was told that my voice didn't matter. I was told that it didn't matter how upset I was. Acting out was the only way to get their attention. They didn't care to spend any time with me or talk to how upset I was.
Speaker 2:Acting out was the only way to get their attention. They didn't care to spend any time with me or talk to me unless I was in trouble. Again they would say you know, we buy you everything you want. Why are you like this? Well, because I need a support system. I need parents, I need help processing all these things that I've been through and my mom still says you know, I was there for you, I've done nothing but support you your whole life. It's like no, that's delusional at best.
Speaker 1:Do you think that the thing is that your, your dad, was pouring into you? Do you feel that he was preparing you for a life with your mom?
Speaker 2:um, I never thought about it that way. I think he was more trying to prepare me for life without him. I can't say that I feel like my dad really saw that this would happen or who she would become. Many years I just I've tried to be able to forgive her as a mother because, you know, she lost her husband. I didn't just lose my dad, she lost her husband. They were high school sweethearts. They had been together 25 plus years before he passed. So I understood that that was earth shattering for her. I just never understood why she didn't see how earth shattering that was for me as well.
Speaker 1:Do you talk to her at all now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we actually currently live together and it's made this whole process extremely painful and very, very toxic. Our relationship has suffered a lot since I published my book. She seems very bitter, very hurt, very dismissive. When I decided that I wanted to write my book, I sat down with her and I said you know, something about this time timeframe in my life is making me feel like I really need to process everything I've been through, because I've spent so many years in survival mode of just having to swallow and bottle all these feelings so that I could be a present mother and not be consumed.
Speaker 2:In the past We've, like you said before, it's just been one event after the next, after the next, after the next, for so long. When I lost my income in February, it was like everything just started pouring out of me. I didn't necessarily want to write a book about my life. It wrote itself. I'm learning a lot more about myself and I'm understanding myself a little bit more recently. I've realized that, you know, my mother was truly my first abuser in life. You know, I've said things to her regarding my feelings and she says well, I've done nothing but support you for 36 years, and it's like that tracks tracks yeah.
Speaker 2:So how exactly were you supporting me when you had an affair with my husband and thought you were gonna move out of state with my kids and convince the world that I was a drug addict and unfit parent and you helped my husband hide my children from me and my husband hide my children?
Speaker 1:from me and and I bet you can tell this was the moment that I realized Sarah's story couldn't be told in just one interview. Every time she spoke there was another truth bomb. The betrayal with her mother was something that completely blew me away, and I knew that I was only scratching the surface. I had set out to record a single conversation, but it became super clear Sarah's story is bigger, deeper and much heavier than that, and it's not just one chapter, it's a lifetime of abuse.
Speaker 1:So to really understand how she got here a mother of three on the run, hunted by her abuser we have to go back, back to the little girl who lost her dad to cancer, the only person she felt truly safe with, the only person she felt truly safe with. Back to what happened right after that loss, when Sarah was just nine years old, because what happened didn't just steal her childhood, it shaped the way that she came to understand love, safety and trust for years to come. Would it be okay if we gently touch on the period that you mentioned, the abuse by a family, friend or neighbor, just enough to understand how it shaped what came next when you said that you started looking for love in all the wrong places and eventually were going to get into your first relationship. How old were you? I was nine, you were nine, so it was right after your dad had passed away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like weeks weeks after he died. So it was my dad's best friend's son. Weeks after he died. So it was my dad's best friend's son and we were going to my dad's best friend's house a lot after he passed away. Basically, the adults were just leaving us unsupervised a lot, and the boy was bringing me into his room with the door shut and he had a bunk bed. So he used to like hang this blanket from the top of the bunk bed so that it covered the bottom bunk and he would just have me climb in there with him and it was more just like heavy petting and kissing and some touching. It wasn't like full-on. I'm trying not to downplay it, because it was abuse and I feel, like a lot of women who have been abused especially if you've been in way worse situations you're like, oh well, it wasn't that bad. No, it was bad, it was extremely bad. It's not okay, you know.
Speaker 1:Just because I've experienced physical abuse doesn't mean that I'm going to go look at someone who experienced emotional abuse and say oh well, yours wasn't as bad as mine. You know, I would never do that. I would never do that. Yeah, how long did it go on? How did it end?
Speaker 2:It was not that long. It was really just for a couple weeks, a month or two max. Once my mom started getting serious with her new husband, we stopped going over there as much.
Speaker 1:So essentially they were grieving together. Yeah, yeah, but for me as a mother and also getting to know you, I'm like, okay, but what about you, sarah?
Speaker 2:I became an afterthought. I became a burden and an inconvenience and too much to deal with. You know, then, once she got with her step my stepdad I don't even want to call him that Then the conversation switched to. The world does not revolve around you. My mom was just extremely she's always been very emotionally unavailable to me.
Speaker 1:Did anything change in you afterwards, like how you trusted adults or how you judged like safe attention?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I feel like it does really shape your perspective of what's okay and what's not okay. I didn't really know what was happening or why it was happening. I just knew that it was happening to me. After the fact, I started to feel like, well, that's one of the only people who pays attention to me and wants to be close to me. So I feel like I started associating those type of behaviors and relationships as love and attention that I, you know I wasn't getting. I do think it shaped how I view relationships or my body, or you know, I never respected myself the way that I should. I just wish that somebody would have told me you're beautiful, you're worthy, you're deserving, you are loved. And I never heard that.
Speaker 1:you know so Okay take away 36-year-old Sarah right now and close your eyes and picture 9-year-old Sarah. I am coming to talk to her right now. 9-year-old Sarah, I want you to know that you never deserved that, that you deserved love and support and you deserved to be guided and you deserved to grieve in any way that you felt necessary to grieve, especially at nine. And you are beautiful. You are deserving. Thank you.
Speaker 2:It's just again now. As a parent looking back, I'm just like how could you be so careless, how could you be so selfish, how could?
Speaker 1:she be so selfish. When Sarah talked about being nine years old, it was impossible for me not to hear the child inside her still asking why wasn't I protected? And that's the question that so many survivors carry. Whether you experienced abuse in childhood or later on in life, you learn that love can vanish overnight, that people can look the other way or that abuse can be mistaken for attention, and it shapes everything that follows. For Sarah, that grief and confusion became the soil where predators could take root, and at 16, she met the man who would become her first husband. He was older, he was in uniform and he promised her forever. But, as you'll hear next time, that promise was just grooming in disguise, and that is where Sarah's cycle of abuse begins.
Speaker 1:I'm Elissa and this is Dismissed. True Stories Season three continues next week, but before you go, I have two quick asks. If this episode spoke to you, please share it with someone who needs to hear Sarah's story, because you never know who might feel less alone because of it, and I would love to hear from you too. I've set up a voicemail where you can call and share your opinions on this season. Call 1-844-TELL-DTS to leave me a voicemail with your thoughts about this first episode. Your voice may even be featured in a future episode of Dismissed True Stories. That's 1-844-T-E-L-L-D-T-S. Together, we're breaking the silence. One episode, one sentence and one story at a time.
