Pouring Into Women: Real Conversations That Matter

 TONIGHT on the Premiere Episode of Be P.H.R.E.E.E with Charissa Marie ✨

I’m joined by three of my amazing sister-friends — Shay, Rachel, and Earnetta — for a real, honest, heartfelt conversation about women’s friendships in today’s world.

In a time where loyalty, support, trust, healing, boundaries, and genuine connection can sometimes feel rare, we’re opening up about what true friendship looks like as women navigating life, growth, motherhood, purpose, relationships, healing, and evolution.

This conversation is full of laughter, transparency, wisdom, and powerful moments that remind us how important healthy sisterhood truly is.

💛 Tonight’s episode is for every woman who has:
• Cherished deep friendships
• Experienced friendship heartbreak
• Needed a safe space
• Learned the importance of boundaries
• Desired authentic connection and community

Because real sisterhood still exists.

✨ Welcome to Be P.H.R.E.E.E with Charissa Marie — where we encourage, empower, and uplift women to live fully in purpose.

🌐 Website:
https://bephreee.com

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https://bephreee.com/shop

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Remember...

Practice Makes Perfect.
Live Your Dreams.
Don’t Sleep On Them.

#BePHREEE #CharissaMarie #WomenFriendships #Sisterhood #WomenEmpowerment #PodcastPremiere #HealingConversations #BlackWomenPodcasters #AuthenticConnection #WomenSupportingWomen #FriendshipGoals #MaternalMusings #EmpoweredWomen #WomenWhoHeal #PurposeDrivenWomen

Transcript

0:06

We have life how it's a little more. Hello. Hi. Well, it's been a long time. This is Carissa Marie. And look at it, I got my sisters here with me. So from my right to left, we have Miss Ernetta. We have Miss Rachel. We have me. And we have Miss Sharon. And uh, you know, it's one of those friendships that kind of got bought together sort of by accident, but it worked out. You know, it's just one of those interesting things that happened, and here we all together. Um, and I just can't say anything else about it. But I'm gonna let each of them say hello to you. Um, and you don't you don't have to say what you don't want to say, you could just say hey, just so people can hear your voice. So we're gonna start with Miss Erneta. Hello everyone. Thank you for tuning in. Your turn. Make me the one say everything. You see this? You're not gonna get more than just have me just keep talking. This is why I want to do that. What kind of sisterhood is this? This is this is this is Rachel. This is perfect. See, this is Rachel. I'm Rachel, and what amount what else should I say? No, but all she said was hi, I'm Rachel. That's perfect, that's perfect, Rachel. Okay, hi, I'm Sharon, also known as Shay. It's nice to be here. Thank you for having me. Oh, thank you guys. So, um, backstory. We've been here since what two hours or something like that. Something like that. And so, what I was trying to do is feed them, and Shay bought food too, and then when she got here, she had to finish what I had started because I was like kind of running behind, and I'm a little bit rusty, and so we we've been eating and just uh hanging out and watching me fool around with this camera, and here we are together now. Finally, two hours later, which is why this is not going to be alive because I gotta put this all together, so it makes sense, you know, gotta flow, but here we are right now, and I am so excited that they all said yes. I was really nervous about you know, Mr. Netta, because I don't know, yes, I did, because but I put it in the group chat. I said, you guys, I think it makes sense for my first one back that all of you all are here because you meant so much to me on you know, real talk. You meant so much to me, and it just would be it, and I'm already nervous about doing it, and so I thought this would be a good way for me to slide into it, and so I put this in the group chat, and um Sharon and Rachel were like, Yeah, I don't know, like a good idea, and it was like um real quiet over there with her next crickets, yeah, and I get a call. I know you did, yes, I did, yes I did. So you didn't want to say it because the hood for you, right there. Silent, silent sisterhood. So I knew she was like, she I knew she was gonna be the holdout. I was already, I literally like after the text, I was just on my waiting for the phone. I'm just like and then she called because I knew, and so I had to get her kind of in her, I had to get her mind right and get her kind of excited, and so I think that that week that I that we all agreed we're gonna do it, I drove to her job with the little ring light. Yep, and I said, now here's a ring light, because I'm trying to have her commit to me. Like, here's a ring light, you could put it on your PC and whatever. I'm because I and in my mind, and this is Phenom I talked about Miss Rachel. So because in my mind, I was thinking we were all gonna be in our separate places and we're gonna be at home and um we were gonna be doing virtual. I've never in my life done like this before in my whole life ever, in my life, never, ever have I, and so never in my life, and so I so gosh, and so she was like, Okay, okay, okay. So I felt kind of good. Now, um, I don't know how we got into this group conversation, but I think I said that we'll probably be uh like a few literally 30 minutes early to make sure, and I'm thinking virtual, like to make sure everybody's audio is just thinking thinking we can read her mind, right? You know, you know, and like the the everybody's other stuff is good, and Rachel's in the group, um, we're not gonna be at your house. I'm like, I've never done this before. I've never done this before. So she said we're gonna do something. And look, did you see the promo? The promo has us all sitting on a couch together. So why would I not think that we were gonna be together? You got a point. I didn't even think about that. You know it's a oh, shame on me. That's a very good point. So, but so that made me have to put on my creative hat. Like, okay, let's see if I can pull this off. So here we are, hours later, and somehow we are we've managed to be here together, and we are going to um do this. I'm so excited. Now we we are three of us are hot flashing. Um at this moment, not at this moment, but I am though, you know, but now it's my turn, and we got these cameras, right? So we're gonna try to last. I need to, ooh, oh goodness, that feels so good. I know. Yes, okay, man. I'm worried about the noise, but I'm I'm gonna use it, they're gonna be all right. It's not that bad. And like the one I had was really loud. So here we are, and we we made it all three of us, and so we have lights in front of us, and we have working with the camera, and you know, and I'm flashing at this very second as we speak, just flashing away. Can't you see the red the all the look at that, look at that. That's sweat, that's sweat there, oily sweat. That's what happens when you get our age. We've earned it, so you know, some of us have, so we have a person, you know, she was an old soul. All right, so now this is what I sent to the ladies. I sent four questions so we can just have conversation, and we're just relaxing out on my couch. I thought that was that you know, you know, that was a good idea. I guess I can see why you would assume that makes sense. Okay, so the first question, and I'm gonna just we're all gonna participate in this. Uh, the first question is what does true sisterhood and genuine friendship look like to you at this stage of your life? Who wants to go first? It looks like being told to come over at 6:30 to eat and then and to record something, and when you show up, there's no fufu. So you gotta cut up the vegetables and make the food. You gotta send out them some hot lights while they're they're moved around everywhere and laugh about it and not be mad on the setting. That's what true sister for working when you don't want to. I love you. No, yeah. Oh, and washing dishes. Oh, yeah, what do washing dishes? Because I was in here pulling around, and I tried to, you know, be kind of prepared, it just didn't work out. Like it didn't work out. True sister. That is bad. I mean, really, really, think about it. Yeah, I mean, you sacrifice your time, you know what I mean? You could be spending with your family right now tonight's date night. Oh, you might not have known it yet either. Oh, but no, that will just change. So change our date night, and it looks like it's gonna have to be Friday night. So, you know, we just have to. But you know what I um in in order to pull this together, you know, we're looking through cabinets, we're looking in the pantry, and you know, just opening up stuff, and yeah, we didn't care. Yeah, and and I well, I I felt a little nervous about that for a moment, but once I realized that you wasn't paying no attention, and we had to get stuff done because we were hungry. So, you know, just go for what you know. I like that. I mean, I mean, we really get real comfortable around each other. Yeah, I like that. Well, but we used to say, if you've been to my house once, you're no longer company. Right. So I think we're we're there. I think we're there. I think we're there. I love that about this, this whole thing. How do you feel about so how this question too? What about you know, Arnett, what did you say about this? About what does true sisterhood and genuine friendship look like at this stage of your life? Um, I would say just being open, transparent, even just like what you were saying about going to the cabinets, making sure that we have everything that we need. Yeah. Um just like that analogy of being open, allowing people to come in and help out and do whatever it is that you need help to do. So I would say just being open, transparent, um, honest about where you're at, what you're feeling, and how you know we can come together and um you know make it make our life easier and better, even if it comes to having to help that person out. I can say sacrificing our time and things like that. I would say beautiful. I would say just at this stage in my life, I'm just looking for those meaningful connections without strength attached. You know, I want to be able to be myself without fear of being judged, without fear of being condemned, and we also we're at a new stage in our lives, being you know, maybe in an empty nester, that I I need that connection now because I've never been in a space. Yes, I am, but I've been a caregiver for in some sort since I was 14 years old. I'm 55. So this is the first time in my life that I've not had an immediate thing to care for. No kids, no dogs, no brothers, no sisters, no parents. So for me, just being in this space, being able to have people that respect where I'm at, that that's what sisterhood means for me. Yeah. You know, I I could I could go on and on about this, yeah. But I but the biggest thing really is I think kind of the thing that you said, not feeling judged, just feeling now. I think it's good that I have friends that are honest with me, though. That's important, you know what I mean? That will that will yank me, you know, and say, you know, but that's not not the right thing. Don't do that, don't say that, you know, and I I I like that, you know what I mean? But it's also good that we can, and I think that now this group is a new friendship. Like I am friends with each of these ladies by by different ways, but but this this is a new sort of a circle, kind of, you know what I'm saying? And so I I like that all the different personalities, you know. I mean, it's like a beautiful bouquet, you know what I mean? I love that because that everybody's um different and brings something to the friendship that I look for, literally, like something I had gone through Sunday. I was like, Yeah, this is a Rachel question. Make sure it was she was busy and she said, Can I get? I said, I'll talk to you later, like when you are available. This is yeah, like this is a this is a racial question, or then then I have things like you know, I need to talk to Sharon about who will break it down for me, but also will also make me laugh at a situation. Yeah, I'll be like that. Maybe not, but you know, and then she says things that I want to say that I'm not comfortable saying, you know what I mean? So there's there's that too, and I hear my son in the background, but I don't feel like getting up from the spot because you know how long it took me to get in the spot, so just ignore the laughing. He loves to laugh by himself sometimes. I'll look around like who are you talking to? Myself. Sometimes you need that expertise. I'm gonna just love it on the bees. So if y'all hear the laughing, somebody's just happy with themselves. That's all, you know what I'm saying? So yeah, that that I'm so I feel like so blessed to be there, and then Arneta, too. I'm uh now with Arneta, it's different from me, right? Because you remind me a lot of a younger version of me. I think what you're smarter than I was like, trying to inch out of the camera, too. She's trying to inch out the camera. She's been trying to do that all the way. She she's she reminds me, and then so and whether you don't even know this sometimes, but like when you're talking, and for you, because I know sometimes you don't feel as sure about yourself that I might feel about you, right? And so I it's a different sort of a friendship, you know what I mean? Like I literally want to, I don't know, you're grown and everything, but my oldest is 32, you know what I mean? And so parts of me is like when you when you are like feeling unsure of yourself, I want to jump on your body and say, you can do it. And I know that's not appropriate, so I don't do that. That's not also not possible, but I but I can voice those things to you, but I can't voice them, you know what I mean, in a way that's still I know sometimes, but it's still relatable because somehow I like I I am an older person with a young soul, you know what I'm saying? So that you know, I I dig that about I dig that about our relationship. So okay, so now what do you think women are silently carrying right now that people often do not see or fully understand? Wow, that's a lovely question. I know that's a big one. I mean, we can start with mental health issues, depression, anxiety. Um I know from like me personally, that's what I care. You know, just dealing with those two things in itself are are really really hard, and also again, just being in these different stages of walks of life, you know, we're embarking on our, you know, for us, we're embarking on retirement. But you know, you have all of these things, and then not to mention paramenopause, menopause, yes, you know, things that, and this is something that me and my other friend talked about. These are the talks that our parents didn't have with us, right? Our mothers didn't have these conversations because it wasn't talked about. Yeah, you know, we just knew they was going through something, but so I think we're we're yeah, we're we're carrying that's a little question for us. And then that is big, you know. You you talked about okay. So, one of the things when you when you said that they already playing with the fans. Oh, yeah, no, they're just yes, they'll feel it. Is the air in the air? I don't feel it's we're here. I haven't heard it, I haven't felt it. Oh, okay. So here's what we've so this is here's what's about to happen. So it's ghetto fashion because it's my thing, and I if I want to stand up in my show to go walk and check the air, I'm gonna do it in the middle of this recording. I am today's episode is sponsored by the Be Free Collection. From wearable inspiration to mugs, kimonos, empowering lifestyle pieces, every item is designed to remind you who you are becoming. Visit befree.com backslash shop or hit the QR code. Now back to the show. All right. Light skin, light problems. Okay, what are what are they silent what are we silently carrying? Yeah, what are we silently carrying right now that people often don't see or fully understand? We you know, we um I think that they say that once you get a certain age, you know, you don't care what other people think no more. And um, I'm not sure that that's necessarily true because I find that I have to remind myself that you're not supposed to care about what they think. So just do what you're supposed to be doing, you know. Um, and then there's the whole um, you know, comparing yourself to other people and um and and having to define uh what success means to you, um, but it that success doesn't a lot of time doesn't look like what someone else is doing. And so then you're like, well, is this really success? But um so just figuring out a way to be comfortable with who you are and the decisions that you've made, and um moving forward with that as confidently as you can um on the outside while on the inside you're still saying, You're alright, girl, keep going. You'll be alright, just do this, keep moving. A lot of self-talks, a lot of self-talk, animation. What do you think, Ernest? Um for me, I would say in my situation, being a single mom, okay, um having to do it all by yourself, uh, not having you know that other half there to help you with health care that will. So um, when it comes to that time to assist the hood, having someone that would um you know meet you when you may need that help, like you know, pick up the other the other half of that speak that you need into health care. Um so I would say just uh being present, um but also knowing that you still have friends or someone that's there that can help you with whatever loan you're carrying. Single parenting is very hard. Um you know we can't do it by ourselves, even though we want to, even though we feel like we can carry that loan by ourselves, no matter no matter how much brain you do, in reality, you still need that help. Um I would say just we're struggling with just carrying our load and knowing that it's gonna be okay. And you know, it's just waking up every day believing that tomorrow will be another day. I think one of the things too, um, someone said to me that was really close to my to me, well, you don't look like what you've been through, and that's true, right? But the but the sad thing is that's jacked up that I'm so maybe so prideful, and that I'm so like in my mind, like, um, I'm supposed to be able to work this out on my own. That you know, and that leads to a lot of other things that can go wrong. For me, I didn't realize I was depressed, you know what I'm saying? I had to be, I had to get to a situation in my life that forced me to get a diagnosis, you know what I mean? So it's like um people don't know what you're going through, and that pride that some of us have is holding us back from getting the help we need sometimes, or even just leaning on friendships because I was in that when I was in the situation, the situation I was in, I remember thinking to myself, I got friends, like you know what I mean, which I I do, but I didn't know like I had like a sisterhood until I was in that situation. I was like, whoa, you know what I mean? It was just and it it only took three, you know, like it only took four, you know, it only took like my sister and these ladies, and I was like, Oh my goodness, I I haven't tried, and that that um that just blew me away. But it's just we have to be better at um talking to each other when we aren't uh in us in this bad way, you know, we just have to get over this whole pride thing. Mainly I'm talking to myself, but you know what I mean. Okay, so the third question how have friendships among women changed for you as you've gotten older and experienced different seasons of life. Wow, so I'm gonna start because this having women for friends is truly um something that I experienced as I got older. Um, when I was younger, coming up, I was bullied a lot. Um, I'll never forget my first experience with a bully. Oh, you think you're cute because you got good hair. And I'm running on to my mama, mama, what is good hair? I had no idea. I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood, younger, and when we moved into low-income housing, that's when I experienced a bully. So coming up as a teen, young lady in a team, it wasn't always good. When I got into the military, that's when I met friends. That's when I met girls and women who were above some of the cattiness and the pattiness. So for me, the different stages of my life, it means that it grew into where I'm at today, right now, like you said, this is a new form of friendship by different pathways. But I can say that I just feel like in this space, I could probably tell each of you anything, even deep-rooted stuff that like we've talked, we've had some good talks and some candid talks at that. So I think at this point in my life, friendship is you know, just being able to have those honest open conversations. And everybody knows my mouth is a little slick, it's a little rah-rah at times, and you all accept that. And I like that. So that's where it's that's what it is for me. And like I have had I have a couple of friends that I've had for years. I'm gonna have a very good friend. We've been friends for over 30 plus years, and our friendship hasn't changed in those years, but I found that I forged more meaningful connections and friendships in my adulthood than I did carrying from childhood to adulthood. You know what? I have to say this because uh that this friend, these friends may be watching. I know the ones of my the ones from my children watching. But so I I I agree with you. I think because now I know what I value in a friendship, too. Whereas before we were young, we were maybe not secure in ourselves, you know, even still today, sometimes not not all that secure, but more so we can we can self-talk our way through some things, whereas before we may not have been able to. And um, I know some of my friendships that I've had, two that I can think of that are I've one I've known since kindergarten. We're still friends, and um, and then another one I've known like since middle school, high school, and the the thing that is triggering for me is they don't necessarily know the adult me completely because they will revert back to saying things or making assumptions about things about me, and I'm like, I don't know, I don't know who's that yeah, like you know what I mean, and so so I so that there are different seasons, you know, for for that, and I can I can really appreciate, and I don't even have any, I don't feel no way tired about it. You know, I mean I love all of my friends for where they're at and what they've uh meant to me in my life and what they still do, but there's something to be said right now to be able to farm because it's not easy for farming punches, but you know what I mean. But it it's it's something to be said when you are able to naturally organically kind of form one and it just like feel good and safe, you know. But y'all think is it still recording? I hope so. Yeah, there's the red bar right there. I gotta pull it up so I can fly, yeah, yeah. But it took me to me to get it. No, okay, Miss Rachel. I I I think that uh for me at this age, um, I don't have time to mess around with folk. I got too much stuff to do, and um and so I either click with you or I don't. And if I don't, I don't I don't need to be around you too much. And um, and so when I do find people that um I click with, then that's great. And I look forward to um to hanging out, yeah. But then realizing that you know the big one of the big differences about friendship at this age is that we're not gonna talk on the phone several times a day, all day. We're not gonna be texting. Well, we're not gonna be texting, you know, four, five, six times a day. You know, you know, all that stuff just not gonna be happening. Let's we we're gonna set a time when we're gonna see each other, and that's when we will talk again. Until then, unless there's an emergency happening, it is not likely that we're gonna be talking about that until you know, so and and and everybody that's connected to me needs to be comfortable with that. Because I I can't I can't hold your hand and you know and and and carry you because I got enough to carry. Yeah. And that's what, and that's I think really I love that about about this age that we're in. And you know, and even really after 30, you know what I mean? It's like we're grown, grown now. We don't we're all we all have stuff we have to do, and we don't have to feel guilty about that. That's just what it is. I love that. So here's the last question. What has probably um helped you make it through, oh no, no, that's not it. It said what has personally helped you make it through difficult, stressful, or unexpected life blessings? Medication. Hey me too. I don't think you know that where do you get these questions? I just be thinking of stuff. Yeah, okay, because I have a journal, and sometimes I I I have a journal and it just kind of pops up, and I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna put this in a question. Yeah, to begin, oh, we can't remember the question from one second to the next. That was a good question. What has personally helped you make it through difficult, stressful, or unexpected life seasons? For me, it's like fate. Yeah, and um knowing that that God has my best interest at heart and um and that he's gonna make a way, uh, he's gonna put the right people in place, he's gonna regulate my mind. I think that's the biggest thing is that he will regulate my mind so I don't have to go off on nobody. Yeah, I love being myself. So include yourself. He got me through. You know what I'm saying? For me, um, I think what got me through were my kids. Um, I I really try to pride myself on showing them how to be strong, how to persevere, how you know not to let life beat you down, even if you hit an obstacle. All right, make that obstacle a learning lesson and you build on it. So through all my difficult times, through everything that I've gone through, I've always you know thought about what my kids see. Like, are they seeing even even in my bad times, are they still seeing the best of what I could be even in this moment? So for me, it's it's been my kids that have personally got me through because for the most part, and I can't say I did it all myself their whole lives because I would be lying, but I was their constant. So, with that, I always had to be present, I always had to be strong. I didn't feel like I had time to be weak, I didn't have time to be anything but that mom that they've seen grind out everything, even in loss, even in death, I had to be that steadfast part for them. So that's what got that's mine. I wish I could say it was my faith, but my faith faltered a lot during those times. So it was, you know, what I feel like I try to represent for my kids. And for me, since you're looking over here, for me, it's a mixture of both. You know, I feel like um faith will take you, you know, a long ways. And at times it is hard, like what Sharon was saying. It's really difficult when you're going through that situation in that present moment and to have to hold on to the Bible verses and to actually recite those Bible verses back to yourself. And I think um for me, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's even hard for me to pick up my Bible. Where I'm like, God, are you really hearing me? Are you really listening? Um, and I see other situations where He hasn't you know answered my prayers. But um, when it comes back to just being there for my son, like she said, being strong, being that role model, being that person there that they can see like when life beats on you, that you may stumble, you may fall, but you're gonna get back up. And to just know that God is there, God knows everything, God sees everything, and it's only temporary, you know. Like he says, joy come in the morning, and that's what I have to look forward to, where it's like just push up and that's the only thing that I I can do sometimes, even now. You know, he's coming back, um, and just to know that it's not gonna be easy, you know. Um and you know, just have to keep pushing through every single day. I I'm still finding my way, but I but I will say some new habits that I have formed um are really getting me through. And and when I don't do those things, I I see a difference in my day. So, like if I don't, so my new habit is have you all heard of Miles Monroe? I know you all have Miles Monroe. Okay, so and so my goal is to not pick up my phone except for listening to Miles Monroe first. So I like next to my bed is my tablet, and I will my body wakes up no later than 5 a.m. So as soon as it wakes up, it does, and I I turn, I I can't help it, but I'm like, okay, I'm not looking at my phone, not looking at Amazon, nothing, not doing that. I'm gonna hit Miles Monroe, and it's usually always something very relatable, and it's always exactly what I needed for some reason, you know what I mean? So I do that now. What I have gotten out of that I have to get back into is get my Bible and I find a verse, read the verse, write about what that verse means, and then how and then I'll write a sentence starting with my name, Carissa. This is what you you know, and relate that to me directly. And when I was doing that regularly, um I would keep a better perspective of things throughout the day, I wouldn't let things kind of jack up my day. Like I wouldn't, somebody else's attitude was their attitude, otherwise, I'm sensitive to that, and I always want to fix it or fix it. But I I was self-regulating. But when as soon as I stopped doing that on a regular basis with all the things that were going on in my life, that's when I allowed, honestly, the enemy to start talking to me and telling me things that were not true. You know, I mean the things that were easy for me to believe, and I fell off. So for me, it really is the word, really, really, really it is right now. That's really what I has been able to get me through. The word, and then realizing that I'm not in control, and I thank God I'm not, but um, because that's a that's a problem for me. Um I wouldn't say I'm a control freak. Um I just like things in a certain way. That's not a control, you know what I mean? Like, and so I was trying to fix my stuff with my life, and I was like, this ain't working out. What am I doing? I don't have the right formula, Lord, give me the right formula. But when it but really it was so much easier than I was making it out to be, really, all I had to do is release myself from trying to fix it and let him take over. So I, you know, it's a work in progress, even this, because I was not trying to, I I've been away from this for like two years, and I was like, mm-mm, mm-mm. But something in me and with prayer and you know, and and talking to friends, you know, I'm saying I'm like, okay, it's time to do it. But with the word and prayer for me, but yeah, so you guys, that was so bad. That was all for our questions. It wasn't bad. Yeah, no, it took us two hours to get the answer. Yeah, it took us two hours. What time is it now? Right, I'm scared to lick. But even in those two hours, we got to eat, we got to fellowship, we got to talk. Yeah, and we got some one seven up, okay. So I can't agree. I'm still looking forward to that um sleepover. Are we are we are we serious about that? I'm dumb. That'd be kind of fun. Anyway, I'll see. So, but here's what we're gonna do. We finished all these questions, and this is just the beginning, and I think all of these things are something that we can all relate to, and these are conversations that more friends groups should have with each other, you know what I mean? Because it keeps us all kind of like checking yourself. Am I am I that friend? Am I who maybe because I because I have to say, like, I sometimes worry about my friends when I was going through the stuff I was going through, I'm like, ooh, I'm too heavy. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like I'm too heavy of a friend load, you know, like because now I'm not I may not be that heavy of a friend load now, but at that moment, you know what I mean? So, you know, but it's good to have friends, and you I you want your friends to tell you if you are too heavy, you know, like, but you know, I I'm just so I'm just smiling on my inside because because I think this is the I mean uh the most beautiful situation I've had in my adult life so far. For real. Um, you know, with a with a true friendship, there there are times when um when somebody is gonna have to give more than what the other person is giving. And um, and you know, it's similar to marriage, you know, and some sometimes um you gotta go the extra mile, you know, for that relationship, for that person, and um, and if it's a friendship you value, then that's what you'll do. I value you. So I took all those text messages you kept sending. Because I value you. Yes, that's true, yes, and and that's what's about. And you know what? The crazy thing about you and me is that we've been I've known you since high school. Wow, and when I moved back here, and to be honest with you, in high school, I was a very kind of a very sheltered, you know. I mean, I ran in, I didn't run in the same circle, you know, I mean, because I wasn't allowed to do nothing, you know, I could do nothing. You know, so like you know, but I was always, you know, people knew me, you know, and and and I knew them, but I was kind of like a little sheltered. And so when I moved here and you invited me to your church, I was kind of like, Right, you invite me to your church. Now I know you knew me because of you know, my husband too, because you know my husband and uh his twin. I think you knew them, knew them, you know what I mean? But I was like, but it's so funny how it worked out in that I really fell in love with your friendship. You know, I mean, I'm just kind of like, I didn't know what it was gonna be like, and here we are. Like, I thought it was just gonna be like a very casual kind of a oh she had my next try, I just like that in. And look, she said, I'm like, we listen, you know, leave me. Going to your cabinet, washing my dishes, put at nine o'clock on her date night, okay? You know, so it's just like you know, and then. And this one, well, she used to be my boss. Anyway, so she was my boss. And when I came in on our first, were you was it an interview or my first day? Your first day. My first day. And we were just meeting each other because you interviewed through someone, some group, right? And then um there was there was something on the wall that was so crooked. I was like, why is that hanging up like that? Like, who did that? Nobody can see that that's crooked. That needs to be straightened out. Like it just takes a second to straighten it out. And so I couldn't even help myself. And it was maybe sort of rude and a little bit awkward, but I stopped in the hallway before we got to the office. That we were gonna sit and talk for you the very first time talking, and I went to the wall and I straightened it out. It was great. And so she said, Are you a Virgo? I said, Yeah, Virgo, and it was very much like that because she Virgo too. She understands. I think it's great. Yeah, I didn't even see after that. I was like, cool. Right, you know, she gave me two punches. Yeah, it was just kind of you know, and then Arneta started working there, and that's how I met Arneta, and she just this she just you met her now. See, she's so sweet. She's trying to it's how the camera is. She's trying to look here, okay. She just keeps smiling. And I thought, you know, when she would talk about and and I you know, because I'm very I pay attention to what people are saying, and then it just means a lot to me because at that time I don't think I was in a very good spiritual place, and you didn't know me, but you she was, yeah, and she was she was young, and that's why I said she was much wiser than I was at her age, and she she'd already, you know, whatever her life brought her to, she she had some boundaries and her life set up that were good and healthy for her, and I thought, wow, what a wise young lady, you know what I mean? And so here we are, you know. So, anyway, that's my tribe, and this is about all we have for tonight because it's late for us, you know what I'm saying? But I'm so excited. This is just a beginning, we're about to do this, you know, and and hopefully we'll have them on more, not just today. Okay, all right, this is just the beginning. Oh, you cleaned it up because we're on here. I don't know what it is. On that note, since you know, look, I don't have a helper, so I'm gonna reach in and say, bye-bye. You know, study this time with you. If this episode encouraged you, empowered you, or liked, leave a like, share it with your friends, leave a comment, and message me. And to support the podcast, visit but stop, use the link below. If you want to check out the shop, check out speedfree.com dash slash shop. Visit the link down below in the description. Remember, be free, purposeful, few, resilient, elevated, evolving, and empowered. Until next time, live your dreams. Don't be fine.