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Welcome to the neuro nurture podcast, dedicated to equipping and supporting families, navigating the world of autism and neurodiversity. I am your host, Kirsten Sullivan, who is on a mission to help autism families go from surviving to thriving. Welcome to the show. Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode. I am so excited that you are here because I am going to be diving into one of my all time favorite topics, and that is reinforcement, because this topic is so often misunderstood. I want to get into the differences between reinforcement, bribery, and negotiation. And really exploring the differences between these concepts and providing you with practical examples to discuss. The complexities surrounding reinforcement, because it is a lot more intricate and a lot more complex than many people may assume. I also want to touch on how to handle situations when positive behaviors are not immediately evident, right? We have all been in this position. What do we do? And why is a consistent approach so crucial? I also want to be unpacking how positive reinforcement can be neurodiversity affirming. This is a hot topic at the moment. I want to get into it and provide you with some strategies to make reinforcement more inclusive and to make it more inclusive for neurodivergent and autistic individuals and children. When we think about it, All behavior is learned, and this really impacts every single area of our daily life. Reinforcement impacts every single area because what happens around our behavior really determines how often that behavior will occur. I want to get into the definitions and let's compare reinforcement versus bribery versus negotiation. Reinforcement is a fundamental concept in behavioral psychology, and it's really a critical tool in supporting the development of positive behaviors. And this concept was developed and constructed by BF Skinner, who you have probably heard about, and he was a pioneer in behaviorism and he defined reinforcement as anything that Increases the likelihood of the behavior being repeated, the behavior occurring again and again. So reinforcement can be positive and it can be negative. It can be positive by adding a desirable stimulus, or it can be negative by removing an undesirable stimulus. I want to give you a very simple example. If your child completes their homework and then they get to play with their favorite toy or their favorite game. And this game acts as a positive reinforcer because the behavior of completing the homework. Was desirable and therefore they will get their favorite game. That positive reinforcement has been reinforced. This is often very confused with bribery, but it's fundamentally different bribery involves offering a reward before the desired behavior occurs. And this often is to stop an unwanted behavior. Okay. Now I know we've all been there. I have been there. I've used bribery as a parent or an educator or someone working with someone Uh, kids on the spectrum, oftentimes we fall into this trap so easily, but I want to encourage you to read a book called the Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defined Child. And it really goes into how bribery can create the cycle where kids learn to act out to receive rewards. Okay. And this leads to an escalation of negative behaviors. And this really is the cycle that we wanting to eliminate. We don't want to see. Moving on to negotiation, because this is also often confused with reinforcement. Negotiation involves a give and take approach. Okay. So both parties come to this mutual agreement. And while I am quite a huge advocate for. Kids really voicing their needs and voicing their opinions. It's really important when it comes to reinforcement, negotiation can sometimes be appropriate. Okay. But it can also be problematic because it may create inconsistency and we know that. Especially kids on the spectrum, they do not like inconsistency. They like predictability. They like routine. They like this consistent environment. So if we are creating this very inconsistent environment for them, it can create a lot of confusion. And, you know, it can really dilute the effectiveness of reinforcement by making the reinforcement contingent on bargaining rather than. Behavior. So when we get into the importance of reinforcement. It really is so crucial because it helps build and maintain positive behaviors over time. However, it is a lot more complex. It's a lot more complex than simply handing out rewards. If you're a teacher and all of your children are, uh, You know, sitting there doing their work, they are cooperating and you're handing out stickers to everyone that is not reinforcement is a lot more complex than that. And I want to get into the five key components of effective reinforcement. And this is informed by research and literature. If you know me, I'm a. I love research. I love scientific evidence, and I love reading new journal articles, new research that has come out because you will not ever hear me talking about a topic or discussing something that I have not researched. So the first key component. is the identification of reinforcers. It is so essential to identify what is motivating for your child. What is intrinsically motivating for your child, because this can vary very widely. And I want to just put this into a practical example for you. Now I love coffee. Okay. I am intrinsically motivated to drink coffee. And when I go to a bootleggers, for instance, I have a rewards card that every time I go there, I will get a stamp. And after 10 stamps, I get a free coffee. But I am intrinsically motivated for coffee. And this card is an external motivator to get me to engage in the behavior. Of getting coffee at bootleggers. This behavior of my coffee, getting coffee every single time, I know that behavior is reinforced. Okay. Because I know every time I go, I will get a stamp and every single time after my 10 stamps, I will get a free coffee. So what I'm trying to get at here is you really want to pay on your child's motivation. What are they intrinsically motivated? To do, and you know, some kids, they might respond to praise others to tangible rewards, others to activities that they really enjoy, but really, you know, make a list, write down what are they intrinsically motivated to do. And I don't want you to write down a cookie or a game that they love, you know, really dive a bit deeper. See what. Truly motivates them. What is motivating them from the inside? What are their deepest desires? The second thing is timing. Reinforcements should always be given immediately. After the desired behavior has occurred, because I mean, this is also really, evident in Thorndike. I think it's Edward Thorndike, his work on the law of effect. And, you know, he goes into how this delayed reinforcement can weaken the association between the behavior and the reinforcement. So reinforcements should really occur immediately. After the desired behavior, because then there is this clear connection. Your child knows if I engage in this behavior, I will get this reward. The third thing is consistency. Now, consistency is tough, right? I know we don't live in a perfect world. We are not perfect people, but consistency and delivering reinforcements helps solidifying this behavior in consistent reinforcement. Can. Really confuse a child and can also weaken this positive behavior that we are wanting to see the fourth one is appropriateness. This is also where a lot of people seem to go wrong. The reinforcement should be appropriate to the behavior. So small behaviors can be reinforced with smaller rewards, right? While more significant behaviors might warrant a more substantial reinforcer. But this scaling, Is really essential for maintaining motivation without the over reliance on external rewards. And this is where that intrinsic motivation that I was speaking about earlier is really so important because if we reward. Really sort of small positive behaviors with substantial or huge reinforcers. We are never, ever going to build. We are never, ever going to sort of scale up and accumulate more and more positive behaviors because your child knows if I am engaging in the bare minimum, then I will be getting. This huge reinforcer. And the last one is gradual fading. Now we are wanting to gradually fade the dependence on external rewards. This can be done really gradually and slowly by fading out reinforcements and we want to ensure that this intrinsic motivation takes over. And the self determination theory explains this really well, where we are wanting your child to want to engage in this appropriate behavior by being intrinsically motivated. And I want to just share a little story that I read and I was about a boy, and he had difficulty staying focused and reading lessons. So initially stickers were a really highly motivating reinforcer for him. And every time he completed the page of reading, he earned a sticker. And then over a few weeks, his focus improved significantly and then gradually shifting to giving stickers. After he completed two pages, and then three pages and then four pages and so on. And eventually his intrinsic love for reading developed and then he no longer needed the stickers to stay focused. So this gradual fading of reinforcement helps build this self motivation and confidence so let's get into how do we handle. A lack of positive behaviors. I mean, what if we don't see positive behaviors immediately? What do we do? The first thing it is essential to ensure that the skills we are expecting are within the child's capacity. I see this all the time in schools and in therapy. Where skills that the child has not learned yet are being expected from them. Now we see a lot of unwanted behaviors occurring because the child does not have the skill to engage in appropriate behaviors, and this is often rewarded with punishment. All right. And this is just not right because the child does not have that skill, so why are we punishing the child for engaging in this unwanted behavior? When they don't have the skills to regulate their emotions, they don't have the skills to control their impulses. They don't have the skills to really understand their own emotions and develop coping strategies. So we really want to break down tasks into more smaller and more manageable steps and reinforce. These smaller steps, right? Break down a task into the smallest steps possible, right? If your child has to brush their teeth and, you know, brushing teeth really is quite a difficult time in your child's daily routine, break the steps down into smaller pieces and reinforce every single step that your child engages in appropriately. If your child does not respond to reinforcement, reassess the reinforcer. Sometimes what we think is really motivating might not be meaningful to the child at all. Just because your child absolutely loved Superman or Spider Man two weeks ago. Doesn't mean that he will really love it this week. Be patient, you know, be persistent. Change takes time. It's really crucial to celebrate these small successes along the way. And stay curious, stay engaging with your child on what they need. Do they really love what is intrinsically motivating them in this moment? I want to get into avoiding bribery and implementing consistent strategies. How do we transform bribery into reinforcement? Cause this is a huge one. Avoiding bribery is. Essential because it can cause behaviors to snowball, from really small behaviors into significant issues. For instance, when a child learns that tantrums lead to rewards, the tantrums can escalate, and then it is quite difficult to break that cycle. So instead we want to focus on reinforcing positive behaviors consistently. One effective approach is to let the child know that you are there to support them whenever they are ready. You can say, for example, I am here to help you whenever you are ready. If they are having to put their shoes on right before they go to school, you can say, I am here to help you whenever you are ready, it shows that you see them. And you are not ignoring them. And this can be really powerful if attention is a significant reinforcer. So if you know, your child loves attention, they crave that attention. Saying something like that can let them know you're not ignoring them. You are here for them if they need help. Let's get into some steps of how to transform bribery into a reinforcement. The first one pair reinforcement with belief. So you're really wanting to show your child you believe in their ability to succeed. This builds trust and motivation. If you haven't read the power of positive parenting, I strongly recommended, he really goes into different ways of how to pay reinforcement with belief, showing your child that you Believe in them unconditionally and that you genuinely believe in their ability to succeed that you are constantly presuming competence can build that strong connection, that trust, and that motivation, that intrinsic motivation within your child. The second one, identify true reinforces. Observe your child. And that's not just watching your child for a minute, truly observe your child. Watch what are they playing with? How do they play? What are they wanting? Observe what genuinely motivates them. Now this requires a little bit of detective work. But it is worth the effort. The third one, and I've discussed this before, is delivering the reinforcer right after the desired behavior. So it's not, if you do your homework, then you will get to play your game. Okay. That is bribery. We, we, we're not wanting to fall into that trap. The fourth one, gradual delay. Start with the media reinforcement and then slowly introduced delays. And you can do this, in a token board that works really well, or like a star chart where you can. They need to receive more and more stars before they get their specific reinforcer. And then the fifth one is consistency and persistence. Stay consistent. Changing them too frequently can confuse your child and it can really slow down the progress. I have also seen a lot of posts out there saying that reinforcement is not neurodiverse affirming. Let's unpack that a bit more. Neurodiversity, I want to just unpack this definition in case you are not sure what it is. It's a concept that neurological differences, like such as autism or ADHD are natural variations of neurodiversity. Of the human brain. Okay. And should be respected and valued. Here's how positive reinforcement supports this view. Firstly, we want to respect. Individual differences. This is huge. Positive reinforcement respects and acknowledges the unique preferences and motivations of each child. By identifying and using these individualized reinforcers, parents and educators, and anyone working with kids who have autism, you showing respect. For the child's interests and needs. And this really fosters a very supportive environment, we never, ever want to force your child to like a particular type of reinforcer, play on their special interests, really use that. The second one is to encourage autonomy. Positive reinforcement can promote self determination autonomy, and this is really crucial, right? Especially neurodivergent kiddies. When we're looking at the self determination theory that I mentioned earlier, and this emphasizes the importance of supporting intrinsic motivation, the third one. Building self esteem came when children see that their positive behaviors are recognized and rewarded. It boosts their self esteem. It boosts their confidence. It boosts their self worth. A lot of kids on the spectrum, they really struggle with self confidence. They struggle with anxiety. They struggle with that sort of ability within themselves. They struggle to acknowledge that. Really fostering this growth mindset through positive reinforcement can encourage resilience and a love for learning. Some strategies, that you can implement to make reinforcement neurodiversity affirming. The first one, personalization, tailor reinforces to your child's unique preferences. Use their special interests, create predictability and routine. I know I've mentioned this earlier, but your child will thrive on routine and predictability. Reinforcement schedules need to be consistent and they need to be predictable and this reduces anxiety and it helps your child to know what to expect, to know what is coming next. And. Respect sensory needs, be really mindful of sensory sensitivities. Be mindful of your child's sensory profile when choosing reinforcers. I mean, some kids might find some textures or sounds or lights, super overwhelming, opt for reinforcers that are sensory friendly and bonus points, if you use reinforcers that, you know, fits your child's sensory profile and you know, that will regulate them also encourage self advocacy. We want to teach our kids to recognize and advocate for what they need. Now, I am a huge believer in this and over on my Instagram, I have quite a few posts on self advocacy and. As a parent, even, you know, how to self advocate for your child. It's also really important to teach self advocacy skills to your child and helping them identify their own reinforces and communicate their preferences. I know that implementing these strategies as a parent or an educator, it can be really tough, right? We have a million things going on and trying to stick to this and, you know, everything that I've mentioned can be tough, but just start small, start really small because it is incredibly rewarding and this consistency and patience and fostering a deep understanding of what intrinsically motivates your child will lead to success. So thank you for joining me. I hope that you found this episode really insightful and remember reinforcing positive behaviors is a journey and celebrate every small step. Every small step forward is a victory. You have been listening to the NeuroNurture podcast. Remember to subscribe. And if you have enjoyed this episode, please leave a five star review. This will help other autism families find podcasts like this to help them navigate the world of autism and neurodiversity. Until then, take care and celebrate neurodiversity in all its forms.