0:05

Welcome to the neuro nurture podcast, dedicated to equipping and supporting families, navigating the world of autism and neurodiversity. I am your host, Kirsten Sullivan, who is on a mission to help autism families go from surviving to thriving. Welcome to the show. Hey everyone, welcome back to another NeuroNurture podcast episode. Today I want to be taking you through seven unintentional triggers that could be setting off your child's behavior. And I am going to be talking about their environment and particularly their home environment, because that is probably, I'm guessing, where they are spending the most time. Now, quite often when we are trying all these different strategies, we're not really sure what is setting off their behavior. So I want to go into seven unintentional triggers. That could be setting off behavior within your child. So before we get into that, I just want to make a quick note on my slots that will be becoming available in January. If you are keen to work with me, if you are keen to set up a action plan for your child, a developmental roadmap, If you're wanting to start the year off fresh and new and have new goals and new developmental milestones in place for your child, I will be having some slots that will be coming available in January. So look out for those. If you're not aware of this, this is my 45 minute free intro call that I do with families just to see if we are a right fit. For me to get a better picture of the home environment and where I can help. So let's get into the seven unintentional triggers for challenging behavior. Now you've heard me say this time and time again, that. Oftentimes, behavior is a form of communication. It's a sign of unmet needs. It's a sign of environment modifications that need to happen. So as parents and teachers and professionals, we often find it quite difficult to understand the root cause of behavior, but this is crucial. So oftentimes, We might be doing stuff that is unintentionally setting off behavior within your child, and we don't know what to do. So I want to just take you through seven things that could be setting off these triggers within your child. Now, the first one, Lack of structure is a huge unintentional behavior trigger that I see time and time again, particularly when I go into the family and I see how things are being done. Now, you know that's why I love speaking about a visual schedule. If you do not have one, It is incredibly beneficial and it can really reduce that anxiety. It increased predictability. It increases that, that sense of routine and knowing what is coming next. A lot of autistic kids thrive on routine. And this is not just in a sense of, oh, I know after school that I need to do my homework. We almost have to step inside your child's brain and we have to see things from their perspective, whether that is routine, whether that is their sensory needs, whether that is the way they communicate, we have to step inside your child's brain. brain and see things from their point of view. And more often than not, you will probably find that your child functions and thrives on incredible structure and routine. You're wanting to be very proactive about it. You wanting to be very clear with your transitions and the sequence. Of the transitions that your child needs to engage in throughout the day, you have to be very, very intentional about that. We know timers, countdowns, you know, I speak about that all the time. They do work. And if you're a teacher, if you're a professional, also use this in your practice. So you're wanting to establish a very predictable routines in your classroom, use visuals to display their routine and their daily routine you're wanting to offer warnings for transitions, and you're also wanting to use transition objects. So this can really help the child move from one activity to the next. Now the next unintentional behavior trigger is overstimulation or understimulation. So this can go both ways. Now, why this matters. Your child's environment is incredibly important because sensory sensitivities and sensory overwhelm can cause their environment to feel extremely overwhelming or extremely underwhelming. So, we see a lot of unwanted behavior when a child is either overstimulated or when they are understimulated. Now, Obviously, we know overstimulation can lead to a lot of meltdowns, a lot of shutdowns, and understimulation can lead to a lot of boredom and a lot of restlessness. And sometimes that is an unintentional behavior trigger that I see happen quite often. You're wanting to be proactive in setting out sensory activities for your child. And this does not mean just when they are young. I know a lot of times when we think about a sensory diet and we think about implementing sensory activities, you're thinking, Oh, this is probably for younger kids. No, this is for any age. So whatever their sensory profile is, whatever their sensory needs is, tune into that and deliberately set out activities for them to engage, to keep them regulated to the do not get to this overstimulated. period or understimulated period. Now, the next thing that I want to do and just give a bit of advice on is that you're wanting to create a very sensory friendly space at home. If your place is cluttered, if their room is cluttered and you know that they are quite sensory avoidant, if their visual sensory processing is quite sensitive, get rid. Of the clutter, that might be an unintentional trigger that we don't really know that is actually causing behavior within your child. So the next strategy that I want to get into is unclear or unrealistic expectations. Now children often exhibit very challenging behavior when they do not understand what is expected from them. So. When the expectations are also beyond their abilities, this can also result in unwanted behavior. Now, I don't know if you've heard me chat about this before, but if you look into the zone of proximal development, this is focusing on the fact that children learn the best within a range of achievable challenges. So. You are wanting to break tasks into smaller, manageable steps, reinforce every single positive thing that your child does. If they are putting their ball in the sink, if they do that well, if they play with their siblings well, if they really follow your instructions well. Praise. Every single thing that they do right, when we think about it, we don't want to be setting them up for failure. So we don't want to have these unrealistic expectations where your child feels like they're not doing anything right, or they don't know how to do it. And you're having this expectation that you're wanting them to do things, but they are not really understanding. What you are wanting to communicate. So be very intentional with communicating the next unintentional behavior trigger that I want to get into is a mismatch in demands. Now this is a big one, right? When we have this mismatch. In demands, we see that tasks that are too difficult can lead to a lot of frustration. Now, tasks that are too easy can cause a lot of boredom. Now, oftentimes when it comes to autistic individuals, sometimes they might find things that we find incredibly difficult. They might find extremely easy and vice versa. So both scenarios can result in challenging behaviors. So, I'm not sure if you know of the concept, just right, the just right challenges, and this emphasizes the importance of matching task difficulty to your child's ability. So scaffolding techniques, excellent strategy to use. And gradually increasing the difficulty as your child gains more and more confidence. If we think about it, if we are unintentionally mismatching and, and we are misplacing these incredibly high demands on your child, they're gonna lose motivation very quickly. They are not going to want to do tasks because they're going to feel like every time they do it, they do it wrong or they feel like they cannot do it. And we are unintentionally placing these demands on them that they know they cannot do. So this leaves one feeling rather unmotivated. Be very clear with what demands you place on your child and if there is a mismatch in demands. And choices basically reinforced to your child that they are basically setting the rules, right? So this reduces resistance. So it's like, do you want to start with coloring or puzzles is a choice for instance, and really differentiate between offering multiple ways to complete a task. So you can give a lot of instructions in multiple ways for the child to complete the task. Another one that I like to do is frequent breaks, right? Frequent breaks. A lot of neurodivergent and autistic kids need a lot more breaks, a lot more decompression time. A little side note, over the December holidays, if you have 50 million things planned for your holiday, maybe cut down on a few of those. Maybe your child needs a bit of time to decompress before the school year starts next year, or before their therapy starts up again next year. You're really wanting to allow them to have a lot of time to just decompress and to get themselves down back into the window of tolerance, their nervous system could be really dysregulated, and they might need a lot of time in the holidays to just get back to baseline. Now, the next unintentional behavior trigger is communication barriers. Now, when children struggle to express their needs, they will, I can guarantee you that they will resort to behaviors like hitting, biting, screaming, kicking, because they are telling you that something is not right. I am not feeling good. And it is because of the way that I am not able to communicate with you. So if I'm not able to communicate, well, I can guarantee you the hundred percent of the kids that I have worked with will resort to ways of challenging behavior as a way to communicate. Are they bad kids? No, they just don't have a way to communicate. So we are wanting to implement a lot of different communication strategies and find one that sticks with your child. I often speak about functional communication, redirecting to functional communication. So not punishment, not blaming, not shaming, but redirecting. So model phrases like I need help. I don't like that. Help me help me mom. And if they are non vocal and or non speaking for, for this time, then you're wanting to create, I know a lot of people are really against picks, but any communication system, any visuals, any communication board to replace that unwanted challenging behavior with will be a much better option. And from there you can decide, do I want to go the AAC route? Will my child take to that? Maybe do I just need to use little visuals? Are they partially communicating in a way that they can communicate in phrases but not in full sentences yet? It's obviously very different for every child. But a lot of pairing with gestures to, to support comprehension can also really help. Now, the next unintentional behavior trigger is emotional dysregulation. So the difficulty of your child being able to identify, understand, and manage their emotions can lead to a lot of outbursts can lead to a lot of regression and can lead to withdrawal. So this is why one of the first things that I do is incorporate emotional regulation techniques and tools and skills. Into my program when I work with kids, because your child has to understand emotion identification, they have to understand internally what they are going through and they have to understand how to co regulate with you when they are going through moments of extreme distress. If they don't, and, and the thing when it comes to emotional resilience, and that's obviously what. We're wanting to get your child to a point where they are able to develop that emotional resilience without everything else that I just mentioned. They are not going to be able to get to that point. They didn't have that skill to be able to develop that emotional resilience. And that can be an unintentional behavior trigger. The next unintentional behavior trigger. And this is the last one is a lack of autonomy. Children who feel a lack of control over their lives may act out as a way to assert independence. So. The self determination theory. I like this theory a lot and it really underscores the importance of autonomy and really fostering motivation and reducing challenging behavior. So choices. So choices, use choices at all times, involve them in decision making. If you have a child who has a PDA profile, you're wanting to lower demands completely. You're wanting to really make as if they are in full control over all situations. You're wanting to equalize your relationship. You're wanting to obviously offer choices within limits. to balance autonomy and, and, and structure. You will have expectations for your child, but all these expectations in place and all they communicated correctly to your child, what boundaries do you have in place in your home now, lack of autonomy. I think this ties in quite nicely because oftentimes parents ask me, well, okay, I'm giving my child, I'm reducing demands. I'm giving my child all of these choices, and they are still running around, jumping on the furniture, spitting, biting. Now there is a very clear line between giving them choices. Boundaries and within the structure. So I like to refer to it as deal breakers in your family, you have deal breakers, and then you have things where you can be slightly more lenient. If jumping on the furniture is a deal breaker for you. Well, that is a rule that is a hard and fast rule that that line cannot be crossed, but that has to be communicated in a way that your child understands. We know that your child process information differently. So the way that we communicate these boundaries and these expectations to your child is very different to communicating and to intentionally setting these boundaries with a neurotypical child. So you're wanting to be very, very clear on how you communicate demands, how you communicate what choices they have and how they have freedom over their environment. So there's a very fine line between encouraging a lot of problem solving questions and by asking open ended questions. So like, you know, what do you think we should do? If you're a teacher, use student centered approaches that allow children to take ownership of their learning. You're also wanting to incorporate a lot of choice boards. And when it comes to know, right, obviously we're wanting to respect the child's know and work collaboratively to find alternatives, but there's also a responsibility on the child to learn the skill of accepting no, and that is a whole nother ballgame. It's a whole nother Avenue that I can go down and explore and teach you how to teach your child to accept no. And perhaps I will do that in a future podcast, but those are the seven unintentional triggers that could be setting off your child's behavior. By addressing these seven factors, a lack of structure, sensory challenges, over stimulation, under stimulation, unclear expectations, Demand mismatches, communication barriers, emotional dysregulation, lack of autonomy. You can create a very supportive environment that fosters this growth and reduces frustration. So check in with yourself, check in with your child, check in with your home environment. If any of these have really clicked for you, remember that your child's behavior is a form of communication. And when we listen and when we adapt, we empower our children to thrive You have been listening to the NeuroNurture podcast. Remember to subscribe. And if you have enjoyed this episode, please leave a five star review. This will help other autism families find podcasts like this to help them navigate the world of autism and neurodiversity. Until then, take care and celebrate neurodiversity in all its forms.