Episode 1.5 - Paradise by the Dashboard Light | Nowhere Fast

Meat Loaf's sexiest song makes it to the table. Join Sam and Emma as they delive into Paradise by the Dashboard Light then Nowhere Fast, and have a stab at the real questions in life :

Which is sexier, a woman on a motorbike or a girl band?

What's the best lascivious sound you can make?

What IS a huckleberry?

Next time: We'll wind up series on in style with Loaf/Steinman's last song Train of Love and watch the dumbest music video Meat Loaf has ever made, with I'd Lie For You (And That's The Truth)

Keep your comments, reviews and arguments flying in to chatoutofhell@gmail.com

Chat out of Hell is a is a review podcast: all music extracts are used for review/illustrative purposes. To hear the songs in full please buy them from your local record shop or streaming platform. Don't do a piracy.

Music extracts on this episode:
Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meat Loaf from the album Bat Out of Hell (1977)
Nowhere Fast by Meat Loaf from the album Bat Attitude (1984)
Nowhere Fast by Fire Inc from the album Streets of Fire Sountrack (1984)

Transcript

Sam 0:00

Here we go. We got a real pressure cooker going here. Four episodes down. Nobody's listening. No downloads. Bottom of the iTunes chart. There's the subject and there it is. A show about Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman. Look at them go. This show can really fly. They're reading Wikipedia, really turning it on now. They're not letting up at all, they're gonna try for secondary sources. This show is starting with an overwrought reference to this episode's songs, and here comes the joke, and what a joke! They're gonna laugh too hard at their own witticisms, here it comes, they're out! No, wait, safe, due to editing! The editor really takes away some of the obnoxiousness out there of them laughing at their own jokes. Emma steps up to the plate, here's the pitch, she's going, and what a set of teenage memories she's got. Sam's trying for third, here's the video, it's amusingly been recorded in the past! Holy cow, YouTube comments! He's taking a pretty lazy approach out there, almost daring listeners to try and turn it off. The listener glances up, opens their podcast app, and it's paused. Paused so they can go listen to one of the songs the host hat for some reason told them to pause the podcast and then come back. Here they go, press play, it's gonna be close. Will they come back? Will they just stay listening to Meat Loaf? Holy cow, I think they've made a podcast! Welcome to Chat Out of Hell.

Emma 1:18

You could have warned me.

Sam 1:20

Didn't to.

Emma 1:22

Bravo, really bravo.

Sam 1:25

Any news since last time?

Emma 1:27

I'm no longer so tired that I can see through time, which is really good. I've done some sleeping and it's nice to be back in, you know, the normal County that we've recorded this The

Sam 1:37

normal county. Just one of the normal counties, guys

Emma 1:40

Back in our regular space.

Sam 1:42

We're both back from sunny Brighton in my house in Yorkshire where a thunderstorm just opened up around us as I was setting up

Emma 1:51

Just how it should be.

Sam 1:51

Yeah, we had to pause the podcast so I could reassure my dog for twenty minutes

Emma 1:56

She was very sweet.

Sam 1:57

She's a very sweet dog.

Emma 1:58

She is.

Sam 1:59

But this isn't a podcast about sweet things. This is a podcast about rock and or roll.

Emma 2:04

We take two Meat Loaf and or Jim Steinman songs and we talk about them in a slightly alarming amount of detail sometimes. Yes, Punishing detail sometimes

Sam 2:15

Yeah, and then we rate them on our patented Meat Loaf Jim Steinman scale and go away, considering that a job well done. So we've had messages

Emma 2:22

Ooh, exciting.

Sam 2:23

Yes Charlie Etheridge Nunn. Wrote into chatoutofhellatgmail. com with his Meat Loaf memories Meat Loaf memories he says My family had no place for Mr. Loaf when I was growing up So when I was given a cassette with Bat Out of Hell 2 on it at one point, I didn't really care for it. As my musical tastes grew and changed, the tape sat neglected in my collection. This story's not going well so One day, one of my role playing group was excitedly texting that he'd passed his driving test and was coming down our road in a car. We got to the window and saw him proudly drive the wrong way up a wrong one way street. As well as verbally mocking him from the upstairs window, I grabbed an object I had to hand, bat out of hell too, and threw it at my berk of a friend. The tape was destroyed, the friend was publicly embarrassed, but at least he correctly observed the one way system from that point on. It's very rock'n'roll to throw your tape at a car.

Emma 3:18

Is it, or is it just yobbish?

Sam 3:20

Oh. Okay. Crikey, I didn't expect this.

Emma 3:25

I'm sorry.

Sam 3:26

Okay, Charlie, you've not made a friend there.

Emma 3:29

Also, I mean, I'm pretty sure it's you know, child abuse to not introduce your kids to Meat Loaf at a formative age. Well,

Sam 3:35

they did, apparently, and he didn't care for the tape.

Emma 3:38

And yet here he is now.

Sam 3:39

And here he

Emma 3:40

A reformed

Sam 3:41

character, Yes, for listening, Charlie. Sorry that Emma just completely took you apart. think it's very rock'n'roll to throw your tape at a car, but it's not at all rock'n'roll that Meat Loaf has influenced someone to learn how to drive properly, because that's not what he's about.

Emma 3:55

perhaps if your friend had appeared on a motorbike, you know, that would have been more

Sam 3:59

yeah, but he would have had to explode afterwards.

Emma 4:01

That's very true and we don't encourage people exploding on this podcast

Sam 4:05

podcast. No. LAUGHTER Do we not? Well, yeah, thank you for that Charlie. I'm going to shout out to Charlie's podcast, which is Casual Trek, where they watch three episodes of Star Trek every episode, and then rate them. Yeah. He's got a much harder job than us. Do check out Casual Trek if you like Meat Loaf and Star Trek. I do. And if you want to give us your Meat Loaf memories, do write in to chatoutofhellatgmail. com. As you can tell, they don't have to be legal. What Charlie did was a crime. A dangerous crime.

Emma 4:48

Which does make him quite cool,

Sam 4:50

Like Meat Loaf.

Emma 4:51

Like Meat Loaf it's what he would have wanted.

Sam 4:54

It is exactly what Meat Loaf would have wanted. So, listeners, as always, we have each brought a Meat Loaf or Jim Steinman song to the podcast for us to analyse, tear apart, make stupid jokes about. This episode, I am bringing one of the all time biggies, Paradise by The Dashboard Light, and Emma is bringing

Emma 5:11

Nowhere Fast because i'm still stuck on the Bad Attitude

Sam 5:15

album That's right, Emma can't afford a new CD

Emma 5:18

It's hard times at the moment

Sam 5:19

is hard times. So we are trapped in the mid 80s and the late 70s. So Go away, find those on YouTube, Spotify, wherever you want to find them. Listen to Paradise by the Dashboard Light first. Charlie also Sent in an anecdote about Paradise by the Dashboard light.

Emma 5:34

excellent.

Sam 5:35

I used to host parties where folks would drink and play Rock Band. Paradise by the Dashboard Light was the only Meat Loaf track on there, and one of the songs my partner can do really well. As most other people were drunk, they would forget just how long that song goes on for. Take her up on helping with the singing duties, and then regret about halfway through. The only thing more cruel than that was when she got people joining in on One Week by Barenaked Ladies.

Emma 6:01

I think she should come and join us when we finally get round to doing our Meat Loaf karaoke

Sam 6:05

Meat Loaf karaoke?

Emma 6:07

We need to make it happen. Four

Sam 6:08

songs In an hour. Job done. That booth pays for itself. Alright. Listeners, go away. Listen to Paradise by the Dashboard Light. We're about to do that right now. See you in a minute.

Music 6:19

See paradise by the dashboard light. We were doubly blessed. We're barely seventeen and we were barely It's a little bit of a stretch. Ain't no doubt about it, we were dumbly blessed. We were about a dress.

Emma 6:50

It's just so good.

Sam 6:52

It's so good. Listeners, we've just listened to all of Paradise by the Dashboard Light. I hope you've listened to the whole thing and not just that little clip that I've put

Emma 6:58

I also hope that you've sung heartily along

Sam 7:02

It doesn't get any better than this.

Emma 7:04

I really love this one it's everything that I want from a big silly rock song.

Sam 7:08

thought you were going to say from a romance

Emma 7:10

Ha ha ha

Sam 7:11

everything I want from a boy.

Emma 7:13

I love the brutal honesty in there. yeah, alright, let's do it, so that they can shag, and then the resentment thereafter. The eternal

Sam 7:22

resentment. thereafter, I like that combined with the magical realism that that promise that he makes in the car that night is eternally

Emma 7:31

binding. Yes. They might as well have got married there and then. Well yes, exactly but there's no divorce in the world of Meat Loaf.. No. no, no is

Sam 7:40

We'll find out So yeah, really good song. That was released in 1978 but recorded in 1976 The video if you've not watched the video on the YouTubes it was recorded on a soundstage. Ellen Foley on the song. But in the video, that is Carla DeVito. lip syncing to Ellen Foley's recording because Ellen has already moved on from the band by then. But yeah, it's a bit, it's a bit sexy, isn't it, that video?

Emma 8:10

It is a little

Sam 8:11

When the baseball announcer

Emma 8:12

bit happened, Oh, crikey.

Sam 8:14

They intercut footage of actual baseball from the ye olde past with Meat Loaf and Carla DeVito proper sticking their tongues down each other's throats

Emma 8:22

they are having a right snog

Sam 8:24

They yeah. Woof!

Emma 8:27

I don't know what to say,

Sam 8:29

Yeah! It's a sexy vid for a sexy man. Meat Loaf's costume.

Emma 8:34

Costume I'd have said outfit

Sam 8:37

Outfit. All right. Let's call it an outfit. I thought you were theatrical.

Emma 8:41

His frilly shirt.

Sam 8:42

His frilly shirt. Yeah, I like his frilly shirt. He looks like he's just finished a cocktail party for vampires. And he's taken off his jacket and tie, but he's still got his

Emma 8:53

on. He's still got his fancy shirt on and, you know, it's like the after party after, yeah.

Sam 8:57

girl in a car

Emma 8:58

by any chance. yeah, Yeah, yeah, it's all perfectly fine.

Sam 9:01

Would you like some facts about

Emma 9:02

song? I would love

Sam 9:03

Okay, So fact one. Talking about divorce. In early live performances of the song, the final bit, where they wish they could break their vows, That was followed by a spoken word epilogue in which the two characters, presumably having been married for a number of years, argue about what to keep after the couple's divorce. The argument is cut short by the female shout This is from Wikipedia, so The

Emma 9:27

Yeah, females. Oh,

Sam 9:33

Ferengi. The argument is cut short by the female shouting, And I'll keep the baby! Which leaves Meat Loaf's character, previously unaware of the pregnancy, speechless. Immediately after, he ends the argument by screaming incoherently.

Emma 9:50

Oh.

Sam 9:51

Yeah.

Emma 9:52

drugs were rife back then, weren't they?

Sam 9:54

I'm quite glad that bit didn't make it into the song.

Emma 9:57

Yeah, it would have been a bit of a downer

Sam 9:59

a Well, it's quite a downer anyway, right? Two people doomed to eternal misery because they did it once in a car.

Emma 10:07

But it is still a groove, you know? It's hard to be too down when you've had a lovely time boogieing to people's misery, yeah. Oh, wow.

Sam 10:18

Emma's in a cheery mood tonight guys

Emma 10:19

sorry, I'm not sure what's going

Sam 10:20

Pull up!. Jim Steinman is credited on the sleeve notes as performing keyboards and lascivious sounds.

Emma 10:27

If anybody out there is making a record and requires lascivious sounds, I'd like to volunteer, please. Oooh. Aaah. Oooh.

Sam 10:37

Oh that is, that's quite lascivious

Emma 10:38

Thank you, thank you.

Sam 10:39

Steinman said,"I was a teenager right when sex was going from being overly repressed in the early 60s to totally free in the 70s and it was very confusing. Shit. I remember shaking like a leaf the first time I was having sex. Terrified I was doing everything wrong, and a little bit horrified."

Emma 10:55

isn't that how everybody feels? I think so. The first time?

Sam 10:59

I think that's

Emma 11:00

the It's supposed to be pretty horrific, isn't it? Let Let me rephrase that. It's supposed to be charmingly inept.

Sam 11:08

CharmIngly inept. that's the problem though. Jim Steinman could never be described as charmingly inept

Emma 11:13

No.

Sam 11:14

Jim Steinman does everything at 150%. If

Emma 11:18

If this was a Belle and Sebastian podcast

Sam 11:20

Ha ha ha ha

Emma 11:21

charmingly inept is

Sam 11:22

What would our Belle and Sebastian podcast be called?

Emma 11:25

I don't know. I'm just trying to think now.

Sam 11:28

Fold your hands, child, you walk like a podcast Bravo, Thank you!

Emma 11:35

Is that coming after Chattatonia

Sam 11:36

anybody who fits our Venn diagram. So that's Jim. The part of Girl, check the sleeve notes, that's what it's called. It's played by Ellen Foley She described her working relationship with Meat Loaf as a"beautiful, feisty, joyful relationship. Meat and Jim brought me into the consciousness of the rock and roll world. And through Paradise by the Dashboard Light, I get to be a horny teenager for all time". Yeah, fair play. Yeah, Well done, Ellen. She also said about the end of the song,"I'm praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you. I think marriages go through that. I've definitely felt that in my marriage that I wish everybody would just drive off a cliff." The baseball announcement there was done by Phil Rizzuto, who was the real announcer for the New York Yankees. Steinman quote again."Todd Rundgren," the producer, for anybody who's not followed along,"thought it was an idiotic idea. He said, Phil who? Why? Why are we doing this?" And we've discussed this before, that Jim Steinman comes in and makes stupid demands of Todd Rundgren. In episode one we talked about how he wanted a real motorbike for the for the sounds on Bat Out of hell, And Todd Rundgren just went BLEGH on his

Emma 12:47

guitar. I imagine Todd Rundgren is, is just I bet he looks tired,

Sam 12:51

In my imagination, Todd Rundgren is the Kiff to Jim Steinman's Zapp Brannigan.

Emma 12:56

that's it, isn't it?

Sam 12:58

So Phil Rizzuto did the announcement without actually hearing the song Rundgren apparently forgot the tapes that day when they took him to the studio. But Rizzuto did say,"This isn't anything dirty, is it?" To which Steinman said," No, no, it's about baseball. Steinman and Meat Loaf then went to Yankee Stadium a few years later to present them with a platinum record and Rizzuto ran up saying,"Steinman, Meat Loaf, you huckleberries! Why didn't you Why didn't you tell me this was dirty? The nuns are never gonna forgive me. They won't leave me alone at the church about this. Everyone's telling me, didn't you know the kids are having sex in that car?" I love Phil Rizzuto.

Emma 13:38

that is just, that's so lovely. That's so sweet.

Sam 13:42

That's what Steinman said happened. Meat Loaf says different. Meat Loaf says,"Phil was no dummy. He knew exactly what was going on and told me as such. He was just getting some heat from a priest and felt like he had to do something. I totally understood, but I believe Phil was proud of that song and his participation."

Emma 14:00

As he should be.

Sam 14:01

I have found no evidence that Phil Rizzuto was proud of that song and his participation.

Emma 14:05

Have you found evidence to the contrary?

Sam 14:07

No, just that he definitely always claimed that he never knew about the I think he liked the song, but I, There's a lot of myth making between Steinman Meat Loaf.

Emma 14:16

I'd gathered that.

Sam 14:17

And they're often at odds with one another. I really want to believe Steinman's version

Emma 14:23

it

Sam 14:23

includes the words huckleberries.

Emma 14:25

Huckleberries! Adorable! I'm going to start calling people

Sam 14:28

You huckleberries! So yeah, he seems like a very sort of wholesome, churchy kind of a guy.

Emma 14:35

Caught up with this filth!

Sam 14:36

Caught up in this absolute filth. That does have some lovely ooo, shap, shap, shap, shap, I love the little doo wop. Ba ba shoo, shap, shap, shap. Some of that appears later on, I think, in Jim Steinman's own record. Cos, he's only got two ideas. I still don't really get what the base system is. I think you have to be American for

Emma 15:00

I don't understand

Sam 15:02

have asked Americans and they all look like So, I'm assuming first is kissing, then second, groping.

Emma 15:10

For want of a better term, probably.

Sam 15:12

I've written groping third oral, fourth

Emma 15:16

doing it,

Sam 15:17

or is second a boob grope, and third a bits grope? I don't

Emma 15:28

I mean, your descriptions are delightful, by the way. So I mean, I wonder if it's changed over time as

Sam 15:38

well.

Emma 15:39

I dread to think.

Sam 15:41

think the TikTok kids are like First base is,

Emma 15:44

first base is anal. That's the first.

Sam 15:47

I didn't want to say that, Emma, I was trying to keep this classy

Emma 15:50

yeah. But we've established that I'm, I'm

Sam 15:52

You're not, Yeah. Okay, so so if you are one of the TikTok kids, do let us know what your generation think the base system is? And what would that translate to in cricket? Have you ever watched any baseball?

Emma 16:04

It has been on in the background of bars while I've been in them, but I haven't actually paid any attention, because I've usually been busy drinking and

Sam 16:12

As sports go, it's quite like cricket in that there's a lot of time to drink beer and read the paper sort of, and you just look up now and then and see what's happening. So it's quite enjoyable.

Emma 16:21

Yeah, can see the appeal.

Sam 16:24

Do you want to do the quiz then? Okay, here's the quiz.

Emma 16:27

I'm also looking for the Scooter reference.

Sam 16:29

Emma, one of these three statements is false. These are all quotes from Meat Loaf. Statement one, this is on the song's success. Meat Loaf said,"It's all about the energy and that people can have a good time in big crowds. It's not really about the song. It's more like a special energy whenever you hear a Jim Steinman song." Quote two. This is on a rumour that the song was originally 27 minutes long. It certainly could have been, but I seem to think that it was originally 12 minutes long, and it had to be cut down to the 8 plus that it ended up being on the record. But I wouldn't be surprised by 27 minutes at all. One of the ongoing battles was trying to get Jim to cut down the length of these songs". Or was it quote 3? And this is a quote about the album, Bat out of Hell."These two professors did this psychological test in the US Medical Journal to determine the subject's state of mind. They've started to use the Bat Out of Hell album as a sort of Rorschach test. Basically, the bottom line is this. If you don't like Bat Out of Hell, then you have a problem. They say that if you know anybody and they don't like Bat Out of Hell, you'd better be careful, they could snap at any moment. It's a medical fact now." Three Meat Loaf quotes, one of them isn't.

Emma 17:44

I 100 percent believe that quote three is what he would say. So I'm gonna go with number two.

Sam 17:50

quote two It certainly could have been, but I seem to think that it was originally 12 minutes long and it had to be cut down to the eight plus that it ended up being on the record. I wouldn't be surprised by 27 at all. One of the ongoing battles was trying to get Jim to cut down the length of these songs". That was a Meat Loaf quote. Meat Loaf was responding to a question about it being 27 minutes long originally. Do you know who started that rumour?

Emma 18:12

Who? Meat Loaf. Of course.

Sam 18:16

This is in interviews about ten years apart. Do you want to guess out of the other two?

Emma 18:22

Go on then, number one.

Sam 18:23

Number one."It's all about the energy and that people can have a good time in big crowds. It's not really about the sound. It's more like a special energy whenever you hear a Jim Steinman song." That is the lie. That was actually said by Phil Speiser in an interview with Glasgow Times in 2017. Phil Speiser is of course a member of Scooter and he was talking about the logical song. Dude,

Emma 18:46

I knew it would be in there somewhere oh God. more

Sam 18:50

to talk more about the medical journal quotes? Yes, so he says, This is a real quote from him."These two professors did this psychological test in the US medical journal to determine the subject's state of mind. They've started to use Bat out of Hell as a sort of Rorschach test. If you don't like Bat out of Hell, you have a problem. They say, if you know anybody and they don't like Bat out of Hell, you'd better be careful. They could snap at any moment. It's a medical fact now." That was a real quote from a Meat Loaf interview as far as I can determine There is not now, nor has there ever been, any publication called the U. S. Medical Journal, or any derivatives of that. I recruited a biomedical scientist that goes through five pages on PubMed to find papers which include the words Meat Loaf, and they're all talking about bacteria and cooking and things. He made that up! He just completely pulled it

Emma 19:37

it out of his arse.

Sam 19:38

One last bit on my section. I always go through and get the YouTube comments. We've got a few good ones on this one. RadioAce318, he said,"I don't always listen to Meat Loaf, but when I do, so do my neighbours."

Emma 19:54

Yep. Agreed.

Sam 20:00

My fondest memory of this song is when my dad played it for me driving down the highway in his Firebird, and him explaining the 1 to 4 bases to his teenage son, that I now realize was his own weird way of having the talk with me.""Thanks, Dad." KindaSlyGuy, please explain to us what bases, are we need the talk. There's quite a lot on this theme. Obviously there's a lot of comments on the theme of, you know, I listened to this with my first girlfriend and we did it a lot. And you get a lot of that on all of the early Meat Loaf stuff. Sacredo zero."My dad had a rule for my brother and I that when we turned 16 and got our driver's license, we had to write a five page paper about this song and its meaning before we were allowed to go out on dates"

Emma 20:42

Brilliant. Oh, that's incredible.

Sam 20:44

Isn't that wonderful? Just thought I'd share and yes, I'll be doing this with my own children. one day"

Emma 20:50

That is amazing.

Sam 20:52

One more on that theme, Peter Nicholson 233."Back in the early 80s, I was rocking out to this in my shed. My father walked in and asked me, What does the baseball thing mean? I said, I don't know. He said, good, and left." Here's what I like. That shed belongs to a teenage boy. Shed. Sheds are for old men

Emma 21:15

Maybe this was like, instead of his sort of basement hangout My My rocking out shed. If you're gonna listen to it, you listen to it down in the

Sam 21:23

listen to it in listening shed. I'm not having that filth in

Emma 21:25

my house.

Sam 21:28

And feed pigeons while

Emma 21:29

you're there.

Sam 21:29

there. So that's the sexy side of it covered. And then I do have two Meat Loaf memories from the comments. Damien Christian 8536"playing a slot machine in Rothersthorpe motorway services around midnight. Meat Loaf passed me. He had a bigger guy shoulder to shoulder each side."He paused and said, Do you have a dime? Took 10p from my winnings and put it in the slot, pressed go, then quickly walked on. My friend on the machine next to me said, That's Meat Loaf! I knew on first sight, but was struck dumb. He was performing at Birmingham, but although a big fan at the time, I couldn't afford to go there."The dime didn't win anyway."

Emma 22:13

Wow

Sam 22:13

What an awful image

Emma 22:17

That's so bleak, I can imagine the horrible lighting

Sam 22:20

yeah

Emma 22:20

that yellowy effect that has

Sam 22:22

I, you see the slot machines at the services and you think who's

Emma 22:26

uses them? Look at

Sam 22:28

then Meat Loaf comes along and effectively steals 10p from you. And forces you to gamble some more. That is very Meat Loaf.

Emma 22:40

It's equally cool and bleak as hell

Sam 22:43

Yeah, if that had happened in a casino, that's cool. But that was at motorway services at midnight.

Emma 22:50

After a gig in

Sam 22:51

After a gig in Birmingham. so that's one Meat Loaf

Emma 22:56

memory.

Sam 22:56

Here's another from m1DnightHour.

Emma 23:02

Mm hmm.

Sam 23:03

I'm not pronouncing it the way you want me to pronounce it. Write it with an I if you mean it that way."I got to spend some time with him when he played at the Rossino in clay. Working security detail. I will never forget how he was telling the girl backstage during the show to bring out his food. Yes, his plate of food, and put it on the drum riser so he could eat. It was quite a sight to behold him eating a full steak dinner mid concert." No,

Emma 23:27

Now, I've seen him several times and I've never seen him eating steak on stage.

Sam 23:31

What was he eating?

Emma 23:32

I don't think he was eating anything. I remember he was chewing gum and occasionally spitting it into the crowd.

Sam 23:36

Oh my god, that was

Emma 23:39

Horrible! Horrible! Dirty boy!

Sam 23:41

I know! Were the crowd up for that? I

Emma 23:44

don't really know. I was in this sort of seating area and these are the people that had got the standing tickets okay so maybe they were like a

Sam 23:52

and rush towards it.

Emma 23:53

I mean, no, no, who's going to scream and rush towards old man gob.

Sam 24:00

So, Emma, it's time for us to rate this song, and as the listeners will know by now, we have our patented song rating scale, so every song that involves Jim Steinman is rated on a scale of Jim Steinman to Jim Fineman to Jim Declineman. Where are we going to rank this?

Emma 24:17

It's obvious, isn't it? This is a pure Jim Steinman.

Sam 24:20

J J J J JIM STEINMAN!

Emma 24:25

I really like that one. That's good. I'm always intrigued to see where they're gonna go.

Sam 24:29

It's a bit Trogdor influenced, I think, that one

Emma 24:31

Trogdor

Sam 24:32

Trogdor That's a Jim Steinman! Emma, it's time for your song, just remind the listeners what you're bringing today

Emma 24:39

I'm bringing Nowhere Fast from The Bad Attitude album

Sam 24:42

Listeners, go away, find that on whatever. Is there a video for it?

Emma 24:46

Is a video for it. Make sure you check the Meat Loaf one out first. And then we'll talk about what else has happened with it. In a minute

Sam 24:54

Ooh, intriguing. Listeners, we'll see you in 30 seconds. so we've just listened to Nowhere Fast and had a jolly lovely time watching the video.

Emma 25:33

Oh, it's magnificent. So Nowhere Fast was from the Bad Attitude album, which came out in 1984.

Sam 25:41

I have a couple of thoughts on this. The first time I listened to this song, I dismissed it, I didn't really like it. It took me a couple of listens to get into it. And I really enjoyed that

Emma 25:52

one, Drew, because the

Sam 25:53

video is

Emma 25:55

fucking nonsense. It is mad! So there's a, brilliant description of the video that I found. And it says, Nowhere Fast features Meat Loaf and his band performing the song in concert, interspersed with scenes of him thinking someone's out to get him. But it turns out his band and crew were surprising him for his birthday.

Sam 26:12

But It's so silly.

Emma 26:15

There's

Sam 26:15

sort of like a shadow assassin guy following Meat Loaf around the

Emma 26:19

yep

Sam 26:20

Dropping stage lights on him and stuff! And then

Emma 26:24

It was all just for a surprise birthday!

Sam 26:26

surprise

Emma 26:26

birthday party

Sam 26:28

there is just a point where the camera just focuses on a woman's tits for

Emma 26:32

just tits. Tits! Five seconds of tits.

Sam 26:36

My main note on Nowhere Fast is that it sounds like the theme tune to a show about a robot guitar player on the run from the government

Emma 26:44

I think that's, probably the, vibe.

Sam 26:45

It's so 80s

Emma 26:47

I too have done some YouTube quote, digging for this one. So Botzerbrand said,

Sam 26:54

Hi, Botzerbrand

Emma 26:55

"Only familiar with the version used in Streets of Fire. Never knew Meat Loaf had a cut with sound samples that sound like they came from a damn Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game."

Sam 27:06

he he he he he yes it's exactly that vibe

Emma 27:10

John Blue 3, 3, 2, 1. 6 3 said, I'm sorry, but I can't stop laughing. I keep thinking it's Jack Black doing a Meat Loaf impersonation.

Sam 27:20

Hang on though. Jack Black is a walking Meat Loaf impersonation. The only time Jack Black is not doing a Meat Loaf impersonation is in the film Day of the Jackal. You've not seen it. No, he just plays a normal nerd who gets shot by the baddie.

Emma 27:37

Fair

Sam 27:38

he's an arms dealer and the baddie's an even baddier baddie than him so he

Emma 27:42

him. Okay.

Sam 27:43

Yeah, and then he just plays Meat Loaf for the rest of his career.

Emma 27:46

Which, I think is fine. Chris Bond from the NME said,"The tone, as always, is that of the teenager who never quite got over the shock and disappointment of making it into his twenties." Ha ha!

Sam 28:01

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! He's got your number.

Emma 28:07

it absolutely is correct, isn't it? The single was released on a number of different formats but my favourite was the limited edition motorcycle shaped vinyl.

Sam 28:18

vinyl. Oooohohohoh

Emma 28:20

Sam, I've got a picture of it.

Sam 28:22

Ahhhhh

Emma 28:23

Imagine that bad boy playing on your

Sam 28:25

looks like that. Yeah. Listeners look up the cover of Bad Attitude. I guess we've, we've not, we've talked about Bad Attitude quite a bit, we've never talked about the cover art, which is a sexy lady on a

Emma 28:35

Oh yeah looking sexily

Sam 28:36

into the distance.

Emma 28:38

They've managed to turn that into vinyl

Sam 28:40

a vinyl.

Emma 28:41

motorcycle there is some sort of animal skull And also animal print going on there she's

Sam 28:47

a very 80s sexy lady isn't she

Emma 28:49

she's looking very, sort of,

Sam 28:51

We talked about Mad Max last week. She's an absolute Mad

Emma 28:53

Max reject. Yeah, yeah, total. You've said The song's grown on you?

Sam 29:00

The song has grown on me yeah

Emma 29:02

It's a grower, not a show at, wait, hang on.

Sam 29:05

Hello. No, I think that was talking about the last song there. I'm gonna blame the mix The vocals are too far back in the mix it's quite hard to pick out the lyrics on the first couple of times round. And I'm getting old and crotchety.

Emma 29:17

You want them singers to enunciate?

Sam 29:19

I do, I would like it if Meat Loaf enunciated more. and his producer just turned up his dial a little bit ahead of that WAH WAH WAH wAH which by the way is marvelous.

Emma 29:32

Well, I'm glad that that's grown on you because I want to try something else out on you now. So, this wasn't the original version of the song. The original version was by Fire Inc. Which is the band that Jim Steinman formed specifically for the film Streets of Fire. Originally written for the Streets of Fire soundtrack and they were assembled by Steinman just for the film, recorded two songs for it.

Sam 29:57

Tell the listeners about

Emma 29:57

streets of fire. it's a film from 1984 the year of my birth, so fine vintage. And it's One of those films that could only have been made around that sort of time. So it's sort of a dystopian future, rock and roll. Kind of fighting.

Sam 30:15

Punk kids fighting the government

Emma 30:17

Punk kids fighting, I mean, not necessarily the government. I think there's a kidnap in it, and it's just like, action and rock and roll, yeah.

Sam 30:24

Okay. Oh, do you know what? I'm picturing the Warriors.

Emma 30:27

I think it's got that kind of vibe to it, yeah. Yeah, that sort of thing. We, we absolutely have to watch it. But the, the version of Nowhere Fast performed by Fire inc., who, let me see if I can find the

Sam 30:40

I know,

Emma 30:41

Inc. I know, Fire Incorporated. Fire

Sam 30:43

Incorporated. who went out of business

Emma 30:45

According to Wikipedia, which I know is a cop out, but you'll enjoy it, Fire Inc. was an improvised Wagnerian rock studio project created by Jim Steinman specifically for the film, featuring uncredited singers Laurie Sargent of Face to Face and Holly Sherwood as the female lead vocalists. They don't appear in the film, so it's But yeah, they were performed specifically for the film, which I think is amazing considering the production values that have gone into the songs.

Sam 31:14

So the song appears on Fire Inc first and then Meat Loaf pinches it for his disappointing album

Emma 31:19

I mean, I assume he's given it.

Sam 31:21

yeah, he it.

Emma 31:23

But both come out in the same year. So Streets of Fire and Fire Incorporated's version comes out earlier in 84, and then Meat Loaf's comes out later. Before we listen to it, there is another quote from YouTube. From Eduardo BSN83. Better than the Fire Inc. Streets of Fire's version. The other version is cool, but I'm bored. This is great. More rock and roll. More balls. The Streets of Fire version is like a teenager version. The Meat Loaf version is the man version."

Sam 31:55

I don't like this man. assuming

Emma 31:58

man. I, I too am assuming man.

Sam 32:00

I've been listening to a lot of Bonnie Tyler lately.

Emma 32:02

Of course.

Sam 32:04

And for the podcast I'm definitely veering towards Steinman's stuff is better when women are involved We'll pick that thread up later on, but Ooh,

Emma 32:15

Absolutely. So, have a look at this

Sam 32:50

again, listeners. It's not hello again to you, but it is to us because we lost the recording for everything after this point. So we've just had to watch Fire Inc. Nowhere Fast again in order to have some more opinions about it. And it's a Friday morning now instead of a Monday night, so I think we're much less in the mood for Jim Steinman. But never mind! We'll get through! Nowhere fast! Fire Inc. Based on the music video, it appears to be a film about young people sticking it to the man and

Emma 33:19

In the 1980s.

Sam 33:21

in the 1980s and a sexy girl who looks like Jessica Rabbit singing into like a big old timey microphone. This version So this is like early 1980s, isn't it?

Emma 33:32

Yeah. This version came out before the Meat Loaf version. In the timeline. But they both came out in 1984. there's some real differences between the two of them. It's not just a different style. Cause Meat Loaf's is much more, sort

Sam 33:47

Wah wah wah wah, man rockin

Emma 33:50

Man rock! Whereas this is, this is like, Ah, something completely different but wonderful. I love this version.

Sam 33:59

So this is now the second time I've heard it. like it a lot more this time around. As I did actually with the Meat Loaf version, I had to listen to that a few times. What I will say, and this is an opinion I had on Monday and I still maintain it, this sounds like a warm up for what Jim Steinman later does with Bonnie Tyler.

Emma 34:15

This feels like a warm up for some of the Bat Out of Hell 2 stuff as well.

Sam 34:19

Oh, yes, it does.

Emma 34:21

Some of the lyrics certainly remind me of Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire, which is one of my all time favorites. It starts out,"Lying in your bed and on a Saturday night, you're sweating buckets and it's not even hot."

Sam 34:33

Oh, yeah

Emma 34:36

It's sexy time!

Sam 34:38

We're not gonna touch on Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire in this first series but it's one of our favorite Meat Loaf songs. It's fucking stupid listeners It's a song about Meat Loaf on a hot day looking out of the window and cat calling a woman for nine minutes

Emma 34:56

It's so silly and so much fun. But also the piano at the beginning of Nowhere Fast, this version, reminds me of some of the sort of music in Everything Louder Than Everything Else.

Sam 35:09

Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Emma 35:11

It feels like it's a rehearsal for that.

Sam 35:13

And well, there's the lyrics. Godspeed, Godspeed. speed us away which is a lyric that already appeared on Jim Steinman's solo album,

Emma 35:22

This feels like a total mishmash

Sam 35:25

a it's a total mishmash, and it just goes back to the idea that Jim Steinman only has two ideas. And he recycles them perpetually for about 20 years

Emma 35:33

but damn, they're good ideas

Sam 35:35

they're great ideas. I'm not going to argue with it. But I still prefer the Meat Loaf version, I think.

Emma 35:41

That's fine. You're allowed opinion and you're allowed to be wrong

Sam 35:44

there we go. I just, I just don't think women should rock out, Emma. That's it. They should be at home doing the sewing and the ironing.

Emma 35:53

And that's why you're part of the problem. You're just one of the patriarchy oppressing me

Sam 35:59

Yeah, sorry about the oppression.

Emma 36:02

Yeah, so you should be.

Sam 36:04

But yeah, this one has a very 80s sound to it, and I do like that. I like both versions.

Emma 36:09

The two versions have two very different sets of lyrics as well. The basic tune is still the same and the chorus is still the same. But I did a compare and contrast of the lyrics because of course I did. The first verse of the Meat Loaf version is"It's getting cold, it's getting dark, the nights are longer every day. The air is heavy and the clouds will never burn away. We've been waiting here so long that we've forgotten what it's like to turn into the fire, looking straight into the, straight into the light" That's my dramatic reading there

Sam 36:44

That's good, that's good.

Emma 36:45

This is moody. So the Fire Inc version, the

Sam 36:48

Hold on, hold on. Now this time I really want you to deliver this with all the power that an A level in drama can give you. Okay?

Emma 36:57

Okay, hang on. Okay.

Sam 37:00

imagine that Bertolt Brecht play that you did.

Emma 37:03

Caucasian Chalk Circle. Lying in your bed and on a Saturday night, you're sweating buckets and it's not even hot. But your brain has got the message and it's sending it out to every nerve and every muscle you've got".. It's just a different vibe, isn't it?

Sam 37:20

One is a song about being sexy and young, which used to be Meat Loaf's wheelhouse, and now Meat Loaf's in the realm of. Fucking hell, everything's miserable and Jim Steinman's just sued me and I've run out of money again, and oh god. I'm gonna have to go on another tour of minor stadiums of Europe.

Emma 37:41

Whereas the Fire Inc version is like, I'm a sexy woman being sexy on a hot Saturday night. Which is the version that I prefer because I am a sexy woman being sexy on a Saturday night. I'm definitely not a woman in her early 40s watching crap television in her pyjamas on a Saturday night. did get a couple of comments from the YouTubes.

Sam 38:04

hit me.

Emma 38:04

So, Celio Vicente Belero Filho 9740, which is a very catchy name. He said, or they said,"This song has an energy and arouses emotions that make me feel like I'm travelling in an F 14 at full speed to somewhere far away from where I need to be somewhere lost on the horizon" which is hilarious in itself but then, Duff Beer Second, replies"That's the most 80s comment ever made."

Sam 38:41

Why's the F 14 going away from where he needs to be?

Emma 38:45

I'd be really stressed out if the plane that I was on was going the wrong way.

Sam 38:49

how do you know? How do you know any plane you've ever got on has gone the right way?, that time you thought you were in Florida, you might have been in Kent.

Emma 39:00

I think I would know the difference between Florida and Kent by now.

Sam 39:04

Have you ever been to Kent

Emma 39:06

I been to Kent? Bam. There we go. We're an official Florida and Kent are the same place conspiracy podcast now. Are we? You, you might be. I'm here to

Sam 39:17

I'm changing the genre settings.

Emma 39:21

So let me tell you about chemtrails.

Sam 39:25

Why do you think nobody's listening to Meat Loaf anymore? Well,

Emma 39:30

It's what they're putting in the water. It's the fluoride. It controls your brain.

Sam 39:35

look at this. Commercial flight since 1979 tracked against Meat Loaf sales.

Emma 39:44

Oh God, this got weird quick.

Sam 39:47

Yeah, it did. Let's get back on to the song. Any other YouTube comments?

Emma 39:51

No, those are the best ones that I could find. I mean, there are hundreds of comments. I'm not going to sit and read all of them because I do have other things to do. Contrary to popular belief.

Sam 39:59

You know, I read all of them when I do this.

Emma 40:02

What? Hundreds and hundreds of them.

Sam 40:04

go through the whole page. I

Emma 40:05

that's because you, that's because you haven't got anything better to do.

Sam 40:09

Yeah. All right. Thanks. Okay. I think it's time to rate our song then so we are once again using the Jim Steinman scale. So that goes from Jim Steinman to Jim Fineman to Jim Declineman

Emma 40:22

just want to ask, am I allowed to rate both versions because they're technically two very different songs?

Sam 40:30

It's nice of you to ask this time around, because when we recorded this bit the first time you just barged on in and upset my spreadsheet. Emma, yes, yes you can, rate both versions separately. It sounds like you like the Fire Inc more.

Emma 40:43

Fire Inc. for me is a classic Jim Steinman. Meat Loaf one is a Jim Fineman.

Sam 40:49

Okay. For my part, I enjoy Fire Inc, I enjoy Meat Loaf, but Neither of them really are at the height of Jim Steinman's output and we do have a three point scale to work with we can't give Jim Steinman all The time so i'm gonna say Jim Fineman

Emma 41:05

So I think that averages out as a Jim Fineman this time.

Sam 41:09

Averages out as a Jim Fineman with some Jim Steinman elements

Emma 41:17

excellent.

Sam 41:20

So there we are. That was another Chat out of Hell. Emma, did you enjoy that? You know, that whole podcast that we've just recorded in one long run.

Emma 41:27

it was absolutely seamless.

Sam 41:29

Hopefully listeners you enjoyed that as well. If you did, drop us an email, chatoutofhellatgmail. com tell us what you thought about our songs this episode. Did we get the ratings right? Are we complete idiots? Email it in. Do keep your names coming in for our cheeky bat mascot in order to win a badge of it. And by names, I mean, somebody submit a name so that Emma can give away that badge. Next time. So we are coming up to the end of the first series of this podcast. We're going to do six episodes then we're going to take a little break so that we don't go insane listening to Meat Loaf over and over and over. Next time will be the last episode of this series, so Emma, what song are you gonna bring?

Emma 42:06

I'm gonna bring I'd Lie For You And That's The Truth from the Welcome To The Neighbourhood album.

Sam 42:10

Which, rarely for songs from that album, is actually quite good, and has a fucking ludicrously brilliant music video. So, check that one out listeners. And I'm gonna bookend this first series, so we opened the series with the very first song off the very first album that Meat Loaf and Jim did together. We're going to close it with the very last song off their very last album. That is an album called Braver than We Are from 2016. And the song is called Train of Love, which I've not listened to yet. So who knows if that's going to be any good, but tune in next time and we'll all find out together. And as always keep your general Meat Loaf thoughts and anecdotes flying in any Meat Loaf memories.

Emma 42:52

Memories.

Sam 42:55

Did Meat Loaf get in your way waving a massive union flag at the Last Night of the Proms? Write in, let us know, chat out of hell at gmail. com. Any final thoughts, Emma?

Emma 43:05

None at all. Zero thoughts,

Sam 43:08

Zero thoughts. All of our thoughts have now come out onto digital form here on a podcast. So thank you all very much for listening, and we'll see you all again in two more weeks time for the final episode of this first series. Bye, everybody! Bye! Bye