Chat out of Hell

EXTRA Bat Musical Review Special

• Emma Crossland & Sam Wilkinson

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This is a very special extra bit of Chat out of Hell. If you're interested in our thoughts on the Bat musical currently touring the UK, this is the right place!

If you're not, we totally get it and we'll see you on the 5th for a proper episode instead.


BYE!


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Sam:

Now, now, now musical special.

Emma:

Ding. This is us recording our thoughts and feelings about the Bat out of Hell musical that we saw a few days ago.

Sam:

Emma, what did we think of the Bat out of Hell Musical?

Emma:

I think we were both surprised at how much we enjoyed it.

Sam:

Yeah. my thought was, I'm annoyed at how much I enjoyed something so stupid.

Emma:

I'm not a musical theatre kind of a person. So I went in feeling quite skeptical about it, and had a thoroughly lovely time. I still think musical theatre is absolutely ridiculous. but it was fun.

Sam:

So, there you go. Listeners, that's your headline. dead good.

Emma:

When I came out that theatre, I was full of joy. It was great fun.

Sam:

five stars,

Emma:

Um, five stars. Yeah. Okay.

Sam:

five stars, you'll feel joy until you stop to think about it later on.

Emma:

Yeah, that's it. That's the review.

Sam:

our review. Good. Um, so if that's all you wanna know, then that's you done. See you later.

Emma:

Bye.

Sam:

else, we're gonna sort of dive into the plot and do spoilers from now on. So if,

Emma:

Mm-hmm.

Sam:

spoilers for a musical written by Jim Steinman about Peter Pan. It's about Peter Pan. If that matters to you, listening, I guess. so the show is post Apocalypse Peter Pan again.

Emma:

Mm-hmm.

Sam:

Peter is called Strat.

Emma:

Yep.

Sam:

guitar name in the world. Wendy was called Raven. Wendy's Hook,

Emma:

or Falco.

Sam:

Not the singer of Rock Me Amadeus. he was a sort of one man police state running a future horrible city. and then

Emma:

With like two cops.

Sam:

with two cops hanging out, helping him. And then Tinkerbell was very cleverly changed to Tink.

Emma:

Hey.

Sam:

Mm-hmm. And then it was just a plot of Peter Pan. they all fight for a bit. Somebody nearly dies. Wendy falls in love with Peter. At the end, everybody's a big dance and gets on and it's

Emma:

Yay, everything's fine. It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. It's not a complicated story. Um, there is nothing to be learned.

Sam:

especially not in the version that we saw. So we came

Emma:

No

Sam:

thinking, that was a bit plot light, wasn't it? Because Peter Pan and his gang were immortal forever 18.

Emma:

Mm-hmm.

Sam:

and there was half a line of dialogue that said sort of mutants that were always 18 and that was it. And then Falco was the leader of some dystopian city who again got Falco is just, is the baddie. And that was it as well. and we sort of came away thinking Jim's really held himself back here. And then we both went home and did some research. And it turns out what we've seen isn't the whole thing. It's not the full thing Emma.

Emma:

Dum dum dum! No, it's been massively cut. Which is not at all surprising. Do you think they waited until after Jim's death, before they started hacking at it so that they could just cut everything that they thought was unnecessary?

Sam:

think is unnecessary is anything that isn't a popular Meat Loaf song. I. We don't need plots. We don't need exposition. We don't need Not Allowed to Love or, Who Needs the Young? All we

Emma:

Mm.

Sam:

is a cool young dude singing Bat out of Hell on a pretend motorbike.

Emma:

and that's what we got.

Sam:

shade upon any of the cast.'cause we absolutely loved all of the cast,

Emma:

Oh God, it was banging and um,

Sam:

gave these songs their all.

Emma:

yeah, the musical performances were amazing.

Sam:

a really joyous thing to watch. But I do feel slightly robbed now that we've come away and learned that that was basically half of the original show that Jim wrote.

Emma:

Yeah. A disappointment that, do you have any particular favourite characters

Sam:

you are not gonna like it, but I love the character of Tink because of how utterly tragic it is. So, Strat and his gang are cursed to be forever 18 in the prime of their youth, They're having great time forever, but Tink is one of the gang, and she was cursed to be forever 12 and there's genuine, horrible tragedy there. And she was following the, the gang of. Boiling over crock pots of hormone all around the place thinking like, I don't understand any of this. I just wanna play on my BMX

Emma:

But also desperately in love with Strat.

Sam:

in love with Strat'cause who You didn't like Tink, did you?

Emma:

Only in that I find that kind of character really annoying anyway. Um,

Sam:

sure. But I think

Emma:

and I know that that's what they're there for. there's a lovely idea in there. I just found it executed in an irritating way Sloan, Raven's mum, she's the best character in the whole thing.

Sam:

she was definitely

Emma:

I love, I loved that.

Sam:

She had a lot of fantastic lines, and she got to sing in Paradise by the Dashboard Light,

Emma:

Yes, she did.

Sam:

in a

Emma:

And that was a highlight.

Sam:

Yeah. we cannot fault any of the performance or the staging the musicians in, like the whole

Emma:

Mm.

Sam:

was brilliant rendition of the show as

Emma:

Oh yeah.

Sam:

the scripts they were handed. But who, Emma, who hacked out half of Jim Steinman's plots,

Emma:

dream.

Sam:

his vision,

Emma:

Jim,

Sam:

We had an email from Stephanie, who saw this

Emma:

Ah.

Sam:

Vegas and had to explain to, their confused friend what the plot was. So we could have done with Stephanie with us.

Emma:

We could have,

Sam:

For the bigger mega fans among you, this rendition is the touring version of the show that seems to have come about after it finished its West End Run and went to Canada and the

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

Jim's original vision only seems to have been performed, in the UK, West End and Manchester

Emma:

Mm.

Sam:

is a tragedy.

Emma:

Yes,

Sam:

drive, a

Emma:

it back.

Sam:

into an explosion, tragedy.

Emma:

I enjoyed some of the fashion,

Sam:

Yeah.

Emma:

um. It's post-apocalyptic, but from the point of view of the eighties where post-apocalyptic meant biker leathers and crazy skirts and lots of bare midriffs,

Sam:

Artfully torn jeans

Emma:

there was a pair of patchwork jeans that I fell particularly in love with.

Sam:

and massively bouffant hair.

Emma:

Oh,

Sam:

the time these post apocalyptic kids must spend in front of the mirror every morning, hairspray

Emma:

get hairspray?

Sam:

Well, I think that's what's caused the apocalypse in that universe. Em is the CFCs from all the hairspray that they've been using.

Emma:

Very likely. Very likely. I think.

Sam:

I had a thought as the show was starting, I was thinking to myself, well, I don't wanna be 18 forever. Ooh, that's miserable. And, and then I realized that you don't have to be 18 forever. You have to be an 18-year-old drama student

Emma:

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Sam:

full of that ebullient zest for life. friends on the bus into town. I, I've, I, I was never one of those kids, but I would

Emma:

No.

Sam:

be one now

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

like it if I woke up in the morning and the first thing I didn't think about was, oh, my knee is off again. and that's how the, show concludes because at the end after all the conflict and drama between Raven and her family, and Strat and the Lost, Falco the baddie just goes, do you know, I, I, I'm gonna join them actually. And he dresses up as a punk kid as well, and they all sing. I'd Do Anything For Love.

Emma:

And that's it.

Sam:

There's no drama whatsoever. Tink who was badly wounded and seemed to have died in a very tragic show, halfway through the show, just walks on and is fine.

Emma:

Yeah, no, no extra explanation for that.

Sam:

Nope. halfway through the show, Strat has a horrific motorbike accident at the conclusion of Bat Out of Hell,

Emma:

Mm-hmm.

Sam:

then is fine.

Emma:

Yep.

Sam:

the,

Emma:

Very little drama there.

Sam:

And, picking up a thread that was started back in Streets of Fire. This

Emma:

Mm-hmm.

Sam:

turns on the possession of one single gun. In this horrible police state enforced by the Draconian Falco there is one gun that just gets passed around between characters when

Emma:

Mm-hmm.

Sam:

each other.

Emma:

And when, when Falco turned sides at the end, didn't think about this at the time, but I've had time to think now, and all I can think is, yeah, but what about everybody else? The people that aren't accounted for in this musical, but presumably there's like a population that are depending on him as their leader. You know what? Who's gonna sort out all the admin?

Sam:

Well, we had no inkling of that, Emma, because we had no idea of what life was like for normal people in the city or even that there were normal people in the city because all were of burnt out, ruined buildings.

Emma:

I kind of wanna write the story of a normal person in the, you know, in that episode of The Simpsons where Homer goes to live with, is it Scorpio?

Sam:

Yes.

Emma:

Uh, and you start to see like the background of all of the, evil villain stuff, or there's definitely bits in Austin Powers like that. I wanna see the background.

Sam:

that's not what you just said, Emma. you just said was you would like to write Jim Steinman fan fiction, and that is on the record.

Emma:

Yeah, that's what I just said, isn't it?

Sam:

Yeah.

Emma:

Oh, maybe I should write some Jim Steinman fan fiction

Sam:

Oh God. Listeners, and I regret saying this before I've opened my mouth. If you know of any good Jim Steinman fan fiction chatoutofhell@gmail.com

Emma:

oh no, but yes.

Sam:

Yeah. So, that's our rundown of the show and the good bits we enjoyed. Is there anything you particularly thought, oh no. What have you done that for?

Emma:

The mattress. Can we talk about the mattress?

Sam:

can. Yes. this is probably the biggest spoiler in this whole podcast. Jim Steinman's filthy mattress takes center stage in this, and we were both so excited when it appeared.

Emma:

Oh, I was aching with laughter from it.

Sam:

Yeah. The people

Emma:

Um,

Sam:

must have thought we were idiots,

Emma:

yes.

Sam:

but this filthy mattress gets paraded around and has key parts in various scenes.

Emma:

And I like to think that that's Jim knowingly putting it in there. I feel like it's, especially for us. One day he knew that he would be investigated like we have been investigating and, and they would find out all about the mattresses.

Sam:

think Emma, that his mattress warehouse was overflowing and he had to put them somewhere else, so every production of the show got one of his mattresses. Here's one thing I thought was very silly. We've not gone deeply into it, but all of the, the big hits for Meat Loaf are in this musical, which means most of Bat out of Hell and Bat out of Hell two and a few other bits. It's All Coming Back to Me Now. the song Objects in the Rear View Mirror. We've not covered it yet on the podcast. On Bat out of

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

That is a semi biographical song about Meat Loaf's childhood. across three verses in which he sings about his childhood friend who died tragically, his abusive father. And then, a girl who he had a, a relationship with,

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

of redemption through a very difficult. Youth, that song is given to The Lost to sing about how life was hard before they found each other, but it's been broken up so that each verse goes to a different member of the Lost. So

Emma:

This was stupid. You are right.

Sam:

we had two people singing about their incredibly difficult, tragic childhood trauma, and then a third guy comes in and goes, I used to do a lot of shagging.

Emma:

Yep. Yeah, that was stupid. You're right. Maybe before it was cut some of these bits that felt shoehorned in made more sense, but that's one of the songs that felt a bit shoehorned in.

Sam:

That guy was called Jagwire

Emma:

Jagwire.

Sam:

do have to talk about the names that all of the Lost

Emma:

Oh God.

Sam:

which are fucking stupid.

Emma:

Yes, so there's Strat

Sam:

Strat and Tink are the the two leads in the lost. And then the next level down, we've got Jagwire and Zahara, Ladu, Blake Valkyrie,

Emma:

Valkyrie, Raven Falco and Sloan also have stupid names. I,

Sam:

Yeah, that's true. Foco is not the name of an evil city dominating tyrant.

Emma:

no. I was thinking about, the names and what I would be called.'cause Strat is obviously a type of guitar, a Stratocaster, and I discovered that Jagwire is a component in a motorbike.

Sam:

Of course it is.

Emma:

I, I figured I either have to go instrumental or vehicular

Sam:

uk. Are you?

Emma:

well, I thought I could be Carla, which is a make of ukulele.

Sam:

Oh.

Emma:

but I think I prefer Handbrake.

Sam:

Oh, Handbrake is, is a pretty good, rebel name, isn't it?

Emma:

I'm gonna be Handbrake. Oh yeah. I don't really understand motorbikes'cause they're frightening and I drive a car.

Sam:

Yeah, I was gonna say, I drive an electric car, so I think my cool Lost name is gonna be Charging Port.

Emma:

Hey there, charging port. Do you wanna do a song?

Sam:

Let's go Handbrake.

Emma:

Yeah, I think we've just written ourselves in. Do you have any more opinions, Sam?

Sam:

I don't think so. No. Overall we really love this show. We came out of it having

Emma:

We were buzzing.

Sam:

buzzing.

Emma:

I bought a t-shirt for fuck's sake.

Sam:

a t-shirt, five stars. Independent Daily Mirror, Daily Express, Metro, Manchester Evening News and Chat out of Hell. We've seen it relatively early in the run. It's in Sheffield from the 28th to the 3rd of May. Then it's in Woking on the 5th of May, Plymouth from the 12th. London, Leicester, Milton Keynes, Stoke, Wolverhampton, High Wycombe, Canterbury, Southend, Sunderland, Eastbourne, Bristol and ending in Northampton on September the 20th. And yes, Americans, all of those are real places. But yeah, it genuinely, if you live nearby, if you live within like an hour and a half, I would say it's worth,

Emma:

It's well worth it. Yeah.

Sam:

well worth an hour and a half.

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

if you are listening to this, you are as invested in Jim and Meat as we are by

Emma:

Mm-hmm.

Sam:

get out and see it. and do campaign for a full performance of the original book.

Emma:

Yes.

Sam:

That was that Chat out of Hell. as ever, keep your general Meat Loaf thoughts and anecdotes flying in. Did you see Meat Loaf going to see Phantom chatoutofhell@gmail.com. We'll see you in another week for the next regular edition of Chat Out Hell. everybody.

Emma:

Bye.

Sam:

Bow now. Now, now.