Chat out of Hell

Episode 4.3 - (I'd Love to Be) As Heavy as Jesus | Stand in the Storm

• Emma Crossland & Sam Wilkinson • Season 4 • Episode 3

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Where did Meat Loaf's career begin? Not here, but it's quite close. Time for another break from Jim Steinman's zany antics as we dive into Meat Loaf's Motown past and his angry... well, not future. More recent past.

This episode we dive into Meat's first recorded album and then some shouty angry MAN ROCK from one of his later ones. And on the way, we'll answer some of the questions like:

- What does a Jesus weigh?

- How wrong is Louder Sounds's ranking of Meat Loaf albums?

- How do you make an angry young man song when you're an old man with nothing to be angry about?

PLUS a lengthy discussion on American v British reality shows and the usual sundry nonsense.

Keep your comments, reviews and arguments flying in to chatoutofhell@gmail.com, find us on Facebook or Instagram by searching Chat out of Hell and don't forget to use the hashtag #DearA1saucewedontneedyoursaucenowwevegotourown

Chat out of Hell is a is a review podcast: all music extracts are used for review/illustrative purposes. To hear the songs in full please buy them from your local record shop or streaming platform. Don't do a piracy.

Music extracts on this episode:

(I'd Love to Be) As Heavy As Jesus by Stoney and Meatloaf from the album Stoney and Meatloaf (1971)

Stand in the Storm by Meat Loaf from the album Hell in a Handbasket (2011)

Send us a text

Sam:

Hey Emma, what is this?

Emma:

This is Chat Out of Hell, the podcast where we consume only the meatiest morsels of Meat Loaf and coughed all down with a stein full of Jim Steinman.

Sam:

Ooh, okay. Who's Meat Loaf

Emma:

Meatloaf was a singer, songwriter and actor who refused to eat the food stuff Meat Loaf, claiming it was a conflict of interest. Who's Jim Steinman?

Sam:

Jim Steinman is the writer behind Meat Loaf's Best Work. Today's podcast doesn't feature Meat Loaf's best work, so it features no Jim Steinman.

Emma:

Who are we

Sam:

We are Emma Crossland and Sam Wilkinson. Two people who enjoyed listening to Meat Loaf once on a car ride together and look what we're doing now. Welcome to Chat Out Of Hell Bow. Now. Now, now Bing. Here we go again. Hello, Emma. you alright?,

Emma:

good, thank you.

Sam:

It's Eurovision tonight. It is. So here's a thought that I'm gonna plant in your brain mm-hmm. That I should have done about three weeks ago so that the listeners could play along as well. But Yeah. What Jim Steinman song would you submit to Eurovision?

Emma:

Oh,

Sam:

I'm gonna come back to your answer in the letters section. Letters

Emma:

section. The mailbag,

Sam:

the electronic. Oh yeah, the mailbag.

Emma:

How's the allotment doing?

Sam:

Full of grass and not wet

Emma:

okay. Yeah. So we're, we're, we're praying for rain.

Sam:

We are praying for

Emma:

thoughts

Sam:

Is

Emma:

and

Sam:

Is"praying for rain" a line out of a Steinman song

Emma:

Sounds like it should be, doesn't it?

Sam:

I'm in a sex drought and I'm praying for rain.

Emma:

If it's not, then that's going into our. Song, good call. I'm in a sex drought and I'm praying for rain.

Sam:

anyway. This is Chat Out Of Hell, the podcast in which we both bring a Meat Loaf or a Jim Steinman song to our podcast table to analyze in our own inimitable way because who wants to imitate this? This time I'm bringing one of Meat Loaf's very first recorded songs.(I'd Love to Be) As Heavy As Jesus, which he did on the album Stoney and Meat Loaf, which was as part of the double act Stoney and Meat Loaf.

Emma:

I wonder if they were as successful a double act as we are

Sam:

mildly more successful. I will point out that post breakup, they both did much better. Just saying, Emma,

Emma:

I see where this is

Sam:

going. Emma, what song have you brought?

Emma:

I brought Stand in the Storm from the album Hell in a Hand Basket from 2011.

Sam:

That sounds like it might be full of excitement and big loud noises.

Emma:

Oh, it's full of all sorts of

Sam:

Lovely. Well, we'll find out about that one later on.'cause we are gonna start with, I'd Love To Be as Heavy as Jesus so listeners go away. Find, I'd Love To Be as Heavy As Jesus by Stoney and Meat Loaf. Meat Loaf, all one word this time, on your YouTubes, your Spotifys. You could probably find a copy of it in a dusty old record shop, or you could find one of the many reissues of it that were released when Meat Loaf was big and famous, and anything with his name on would sell big time. So go away, find those. Listen to them. We'll be right back after this short clip of it.

Soundtrack:

I just want love that devil and see God in every single man. I just wanna spread joy like that little boy who walked, walked, be heavy. I

Sam:

We've just listened to I'd Love To Be as Heavy as Jesus and so maybe have you, perhaps. Emma, what do you think about that?

Emma:

It's alright, innit. Quite a, jolly little number. Sure. I do wonder how heavy Jesus is.

Sam:

Well, Meat Loaf did sing this song in his audition for, a Broadway show that Jim was directing. That's how they met. Aw. To which Jim responded, I think you're as heavy as two Jesuses.

Emma:

Oh, Jim, you your fat shaming.

Sam:

your little scamp. Um, that's all I have to say on the subject of Jesus' weight, do you know what? I've really let you down, Emma. I'm sure there's biblical commentary on how heavy

Emma:

was, but you've just not put in the hours

Sam:

you proposing then that Meat Loaf was actually saying, I'd like to lose some weight. So I'm as heavy as Jesus. I'm Jesus. Is this the Jesus diet? Get yourself down to Jesus weight. Get Jesus body ready. quite a nice song, isn't it? Yeah. Obviously it's not what we're here at the Meat Loaf shop for.

Emma:

No. If I'm at the Meat Loaf shop, I want more drama.

Sam:

Something of a tonal shift. Quite nice Gospely. Yeah. Gospely Rock sound, Certainly of its time. And its time was 1971. Yeah. And this was released on the Motown subsidiary Rare Earth. So you can absolutely hear that this is a Motown record. Yeah. It's, have you listened to any of the rest of the, of the, of the disc yet?

Emma:

Um, back when we first started doing this, I did give some of the album a bit of a listen, one night, but it is a while ago now, haven't given it much of a listen since. I've been so busy in the other sections of the Meat Loaf shop.

Sam:

Yeah.

Emma:

Trying out all the various meat loafs,

Sam:

meats,

Emma:

meat loaf.

Sam:

My notes here say it's nothing special, but it's quite fun. it's all right. Turn it off. Yeah.

Emma:

who, Who's Stoney?

Sam:

We'll come onto who Stoney is. We'll start with, Meat history. And we won't dive all the way back into Meat history'cause his early life is quite sad and tragic. Yeah. We will dive into that. Another point. But for now, Meat Loaf's story starts in LA where he flew out from his native Texas, escaping his unhappy youth and he founded a band called Meat Loaf Soul in 1968. Their very first gig was opening for Van Morrison's band Them. Yeah. This is what happens in music. You don't get this in comedy. All comedians' first gig is in a basement with a man and a dog, and then bands get to form a band and be like, oh, can we go open for whoever? Yeah, you can.

Emma:

Who do you want to open for Sam?

Sam:

Um, I'd like to open for Meat Loaf. I'd like to walk out and do my, my 20 minute club set. the one about how lovely my dog is. I'll do that

Emma:

How the museum stuff,

Sam:

The museum stuff. will go down perfectly.

Emma:

Yeah. The ideal warmup

Sam:

for

Emma:

night of rock.

Sam:

They played a load of gigs. They opened many a band., The band underwent several changes of lead guitarists, changing the name of the band each time to names including Popcorn Blizzard and Floating Circus. as Floating Circus they've opened for the Who, the Fugs, the Stooges, the Grateful Dead.

Emma:

Wow. This is a, this is a big list.

Sam:

Yeah. Regional success is what Wikipedia ascribes to them. They did release a single Once Upon a Time. I've neither found nor looked for that single. yet. Um, but to watch the list off the back of that, he joined the LA production of Hair. Yes. Which then turned into a touring production. And in Detroit that's where they were spotted by, Motown. Stoney was also a cast member on Hair. Aha.

Emma:

Ahuh.

Sam:

And the two of them were invited to, form a duo and cut a disc.

Emma:

So more sort of manufactured

Sam:

Yeah. This is, well this is Motown's thing. Get acts write then a load of songs. Make a disc. Does it work? No. Get out then. Bish Bash bosh. Probably.

Emma:

Is that where we're going wrong, Sam? Do we need to get other people to write our material for us

Sam:

Or, just go on our way, bish bash bosh. Who knows? feel

Emma:

like you're dropping hints.

Sam:

I'm just saying Emma, we've talked a lot about what Jim was like pre Meat Loaf. Yeah. And now we're talking about Meat Loaf pre Jim. I was gonna ask this later on, but I'll do it now. Are we in our pre or post meeting? Oh my

Emma:

my God. Oh,

Sam:

are you my Jim Steinman or are you my Stoney? Who knows?

Emma:

I am wounded.

Sam:

You could be the Jim.

Emma:

I don't wanna be Jim though.

Sam:

Oh, sorry. Am I your Jim? Do you wanna be Meat?

Emma:

Right, I think we have to play a game of who's got the most disgusting mattress. That's how we settle

Sam:

even on a podcast not about him, we got his mattress into it. So yeah, this is a, I was gonna call it classic Motown, but I don't know enough about Motown generally, but it was, it is like a music factory. Yeah. I was gonna do a bit all about Motown for this, and then I, so we'll come back to that. But yeah, bring'em in, write'em some songs. See how they do, Meat Loaf left the label after this album because one of his favorite songs, they later redid the vocals. They'd cut out Meat Loaf and Stoney's vocals, and Edwin Starr recorded them instead. the song, Who is the Leader of the People? Meat's favorite song on the, on the album and they rereleased it. So he storms off in a huff.

Emma:

classic Meat Loaf. And more on his huffs later

Sam:

I'm excited for huffs.. Meat commented on this album in 1978. He said"it was junk, it was like an R and B sort of thing, you know, that was eight years ago. That was my first record contract, and I really didn't know what I was doing, so I just did what they told me to do." This song was covered one year later by the band Joshua on their album, which was also called Joshua. It is incredibly hard to find anything out about an album by a band called Joshua with the name Joshua, when it also features the word Jesus. Yes. Because if you Google Heavy as Jesus and Joshua, you get Bible shit wall to wall, even proper Google couldn't have done it, and that was before it turned into Ai dog shit. Now no chance. Wow. I don't think it's online anywhere. I just found it mentioned on discogs. Yeah. Um, Louder Sounds said that this album was Meat Loaf's sixth best. Yeah. I don't think this is so much of an endorsement of this album as a rejection of most of what he recorded. Yeah. Although they put this album ahead of Welcome to the Neighbourhood.

Emma:

Oh, that's not right. Yeah. Welcome to the Neighbourhood's got some real bangers bangers I'd love to know the order.,

Sam:

Do you want the full rundown? Yeah, Okay. If you can give me the, uh,

Emma:

do,

Sam:

in it. Number 13, regarded as truly deplorable. It's Blind Before I Stop.

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

Number 12 Braver than We Are.

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

Yeah.. Decades old scraps from abandoned musicals as well as songs previously flopped by Bonnie Tyler and Sisters of Mercy. It's bad, man. Number 11, Hell in a Hand Basket 2011,

Emma:

is what I'm covering today.

Sam:

Public Enemy's Chuck D shows up for a rap cameo and Meat butchers California Dreamin' for what seems like an hour. Moving on to number 10, it's Couldn't Have Said it Better wherein Meat goes it alone eschewing any Steinman songs completely, employing a handful of writers to create tepid sound alikes. At number nine it's Midnight in the Lost and Found.

Emma:

Yep. Seems fair. I think, I think couldn't have said it better. We've enjoyed some of the

Sam:

we have. We have one track We've enjoyed something off midnight and lost and found. At eight, Welcome to the Neighbourhood. Fail to produce any real hits of note. It went platinum anyway. Then down to number seven, Bad Attitude. What is that doing there? Yeah. Created during the relentless glam metal wave of the mid eighties, this is Meat's hardest rocking record. A veritable orgy of shredding and whooping.

Emma:

Perhaps we need to listen to that a little bit more

Sam:

then. Yeah. Apparently buoyed by the storming single Modern Girls.

Emma:

Well, we've listened to Modern Girl. We've

Sam:

it. Yeah, I was gonna say that's Modern Girl and that's not that

Emma:

No.

Sam:

six, it's Stoney and Meat Loaf. minor gem and a frothy stew of brass and thunder, full bluesy r and b and sexed up gospel rock. considered Heavy as Jesus to be the highlights and number five, Bat out of Hell Three.

Emma:

Crikey. Yeah, that's high on the list.

Sam:

Steinman and Meat were in a legal battle over ownership of the Bat, out of Hell phrase, so Steinman relinquished production to the slightly less bombastic Desmond Child. And we do mean slightly as this is still an incredibly over the top album. It's not Come on. Number four, Dead Ringer. More lowkey and less concepty than Bat. It nonetheless satisfied the itch for epic Wagnerian rock and roll, and is anchored by three strong singles. Read'em and Weep. I'm Gonna Love Her for the Both of Us. And the title, track a duet with Cher. Emma, you are gonna blow your top. There's a name that's been missing so far,

Emma:

Uhhuh

Sam:

number three, Meat Loaf's third best album according to Louder Sound. Hang Cool Teddy Bear. Fuck Off

Emma:

Fuck Off

Sam:

Meat really went all in on this one.

Emma:

This is the one with Los Angeloser on it, it? Yes, it's, which is a song that makes me angry.

Sam:

The result is a flash fire of fevered visions colliding in an audacious, ramshackle, wonderfully ridiculous collection of bombastic theatre rock that really needs to be heard to be believed. I agree with that. At least maybe

Emma:

rest of it is better.

Sam:

I don't think so because the YouTube video they've embedded is Los Angeloser. Oh no.

Emma:

Oh no.

Sam:

And then number two is Bat Out of Hell Two and of course number one was Bat Out of Hell.

Emma:

Do you know what? I disagree with those as well.

Sam:

What the

Emma:

order? Yeah.

Sam:

Yeah.

Emma:

I put Bat Two

Sam:

I think Bat Two only works in the context of bat one.

Emma:

I'd still put it

Sam:

listeners, if you disagree with Louder Sounds's ranking, go on. Rank all of Meat Loaf's albums for us. I dare you. Chat out of hell@gmail.com. The song was written by,, Patti Jerome, Ralph Terrano and Mike Valvano. Jerome and Valvano both wrote a few songs on this album. Mm-hmm. Interestingly, Meat was still performing What You See Is What You Get from this album as late as his 1996 live album Live Around The World. He didn't move on from the Stoney days. The quote from him earlier implies he was quite embarrassed about it, but he brought it back.

Emma:

But sometimes it is nice to throw in things from the Yeah. The

Sam:

Yeah. The early days, like Easter eggs, yeah. What You See Is What You Get was also the B side on a single Is Nothing Sacred, which is a Steinman penned tune, recorded for Welcome to the Neighbourhood, but not used until a 1998 Best Of, and you can't put unreleased songs on a Best Of, I don't care who you are,

Emma:

And yet.

Sam:

Would you like to know about Stoney? Yes. She was born Sean Murphy. Yeah. She stayed with Motown after Meat Loaf, terminated the contract, after which she's worked with a lot of acts. Immediately after Meat Loaf left, she worked with Bob Seger and the horrible racist Eric Clapton. a shame. But she's then sung, toured and recorded with acts such as the Moody Blues, Herbie Hancock, Phil Collins, Glen Fray, Joe Walsh, Bruce Hornsby, Michael Bolton, Alice Cooper. Crikey. Yeah. And 1993, she became a full-time member of the band Little Feat, which is an incredible coincidence because at the exact same time, Los del Rio were releasing their single Macarena. Isn't that amazing?

Emma:

That is amazing.

Sam:

you so much. Yeah. In 1993, she did a thing and so did they. Wow.

Emma:

that's Mind blowing. That is a really good way of getting that

Sam:

in there.

Emma:

this time. I did wonder

Sam:

From 2009 onwards, she released a series of albums under the name of the Sean Murphy Band. I've listened to a little bit of it. It's all right. R and b Bluesy. She's been nominated for Grammys and she's won loads of other lesser awards, so she's done pretty well for herself.

Emma:

Good on you, Stoney.

Sam:

Good on you kid. But Emma, would you like the quiz?

Emma:

I would like the quiz.

Sam:

Which of these is the real name of an album by the Sean Murphy Band? Is it A The Trouble With Loving B I Like It C The Sean Murphy Band's World D. Push the Beat for this Jam, or E Whigfield

Emma:

What am I supposed to do with this Whigfield?

Sam:

What?

Emma:

It's not Whigfield. I'm

Sam:

I'm

Emma:

gonna go with a loving. Yeah. The trouble with loving. Could

Sam:

Could you go four of the others, please? No. Yeah, it was that one.

Emma:

Where have the others come from? Sam

Sam:

I'm glad you asked, Emma. I like it is the English translation of, ah, me, me Gua the 1993 album by Los Del Rio. More famous for Macarena. Of course. See that wasn't a Sean Murphy album, but Scatman's World is the name of the 1994 album Scatman John, do you wanna guess what Push the Beat for this Jam is from Yeah. 2002. And Whigfield Yeah. It's an album by Whigfield. Ruined my fun.

Emma:

Oh. Oh. But it feels good. I got one, right?

Sam:

Yeah.

Emma:

but I've ruined your day.

Sam:

What price my happiness.

Emma:

Shit. The double act really is over, isn't it? But we've got so much to awkwardly struggle through

Sam:

do. Um,

Emma:

well resentment builds.

Sam:

Tell you what, Emma, would you like to hear what the people of the internet think about this song? I would, yes.

Emma:

yes.

Sam:

Okay. Not a lot. Luckily I did have this conversational gem, which I was delighted to find at moviereviews4life. Very catchy. Not sure if this is a religious album, but the music's good. Huge fan of Meat Loaf from Jim Steinman's work on his solo albums. This is definitely an album that has eluded me after I finished getting the rest of his catalogue and the Ted Nugent's album Free for All, I'll be sure to get the re-release that came out a couple of years ago", to which at S Bigneus replied"Jim Steinman was not involved in producing this album". To which movie Reviews For Life came back."I never said he was involved in this album. I said, I like Meat Loaf and Jim Stein's work together on his solo albums. This isn't a solo album, it's a duet album."

Emma:

Angry, angry People of

Sam:

Yep. Um, it's weird that this song inspired such rage. I a lovely song about how Jesus is quite nice and maybe we should be but Jim Steinman didn't produce it. That's all we've got to say on this.

Emma:

Yeah, it's all right. Isn't it? quite nice. It's quite nice. Yeah. Inoffensive.,

Sam:

If it came on Six Music on a Sunday afternoon, I'd be like, Hmm, that is it. That's a deep cut. Well done Six Music.

Emma:

You'd be really knowing about

Sam:

it. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, I know that one actually. yeah. Huh? Huh? He said he was gonna play some Meat Loaf and then he played this, and that has surprised everybody I liked him before he played rock music, actually. I think he's much more suited to a gospel should we rate this song then, Emma? Okay. All of our Meat Loaf songs that don't feature Jim Steinman are rated on our special Meat Loaf song rating scale, which we've not dusted off for a little while, I think. No. So just to refresh our listeners our Meat Loaf song rating scale starts with Marvin Lee Aday, for the very finest songs. Marvin Lee Okay. In the middle, all the way down to Marvin Lee No Way for the misogyny stuff that he'd done, but Emma, what's this? It's

Emma:

Marvin Lee Okay innit

Sam:

it's Marvin Lee Okay.

Emma:

It's alright. It's fine.

Sam:

Marvin Lee. Okay. With apologies to the two listeners who requested that we cover this song, but we just have so little to say about the content of the song itself. It's fine. It's there. It is interesting to listen to where Meat Loaf started before somebody shoved a guitar in his hand and went, yeah. Emma.

Emma:

Yes.

Sam:

What song have you brought for our listeners' delectation?

Emma:

I've brought Stand In the Storm from Hell in a Hand Basket. There's no official video for this, despite the fact that it was released as a digital single but there is a fan made video That you can go away and watch at your leisure or give it a listen favorite musical platform.

Sam:

Okay.

Soundtrack:

You know, I'm gonna stick with the strong. Somebody's stand in the storm. Somebody's gotta stand in the

Emma:

That was Stand in the Storm, from the Hell in a Hand Basket Album in 2011.When I picked this song to cover, I did not know what I was getting into. crikey. Before I delve too far into it, Sam, what'd you think

Sam:

of the song? my note says, uh, let me see. So how was Chad Kroger involved then? It's very, um, generic, early two thousands rock song for angry young men.

Emma:

performed by

Sam:

men, performed by angry old men. It's fine. There's the obligatory rap section in the middle. The chorus is all right. It's demonstrably not a Jim Steinman chorus. No, it is just singing about how I've gotta be big and tur because I'm so American.

Emma:

There's nothing in here that even borrows from Jim.

Sam:

This is from one of his very, I don't even need Jim actually. Phases.

Emma:

well. So this came about, this is a collaboration track. It was also released as, a digital single all the profits went to charity. Okay. They

Sam:

Okay. They

Emma:

to four different charities'cause there's four different artists involved. And they are team backbone from 2011's US Celebrity in

Sam:

Yeah, I knew he was involved in Celebrity Apprentice.

Emma:

So this song came as a result of some of the friendships that were forged. It features obviously Meat Loaf who is bringing, and it says here his signature theatrical rock style and emotional intensity. Then there's John Rich, who is a country singer, and he does the country verse. There's Mark McGrath, who was of Sugar Ray. Yeah. Who apparently lends a pop rock sensibility.

Sam:

Oh, that must

Emma:

to be very mix. Yeah. I'm not sure where that was. And then there's Lil John who does the rapping. Which is painful. It

Sam:

It's like when you've gotta do a group project at school, it's exactly And you're sat next to three kids that you've never met before and you've all got such wildly differing interests.

Emma:

Oh God. So in the excruciating rap section, Uhhuh, Li'l John actually name checks Donald Trump.

Sam:

Yes, I did spot

Emma:

And of course Gary Busey, who was also in that series of The Apprentice. Now this series of The Apprentice went a bit viral because of an interaction between Meat Loaf and Gary Busey. And that is the link that I sent

Sam:

does ring a little bit of a bell

Emma:

have a little watch this shit show.

Soundtrack:

Okay. What's wrong, mother? What's wrong? I bought those mother sponges. Part of that pain is mine. I'm sick and tired. You mother. No, no, no, no, no, no. That was all mine in my basket. Mother.

Emma:

So what we've just watched, there is a clip from The Celebrity Apprentice, which I believe is episode five, the Art of the Deal, where the various, apprentices, are trying to create and sell original artwork in galleries to raise massive amounts of money for

Sam:

Yes.

Emma:

Uh, and it all explodes.

Sam:

It all explodes. I, have so many questions. You do starting Listeners, for anybody who's not watched the clip. Meat Loaf absolutely loses his rag because he thought Gary Busey took his poster paints. Do you remember in the Dead Ringer movie, Meat Loaf plays his childhood self

Emma:

Yes. the body

Sam:

of adult meatloaf. isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. This could have been a, a, a rollback to his kindergarten

Emma:

babies. Oh my God. It's the biggest blowup over the smallest thing. And then it turns out that the bag's just in a corner somewhere that

Sam:

Looked to. Yeah. That said, this is American reality

Emma:

tv. Yes.

Sam:

Some scenes may be created for entertainment purposes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but also that said, Meat Loaf is famous for his pathetically childish rants,

Emma:

Yeah. And he, he really comes across as an asshole here, Yeah. It doesn't work well for

Sam:

Um,

Emma:

He came fourth overall

Sam:

I have so many questions about Celebrity Apprentice. Like A how is it a thing? Because in the UK we had it occasionally. The Apprentice, the general purpose Apprentice is still going. It's quite a big show somehow. But every now and then for Comic Relief, which is a big charity telethon that we do every year, they would do a celebrity version where celebrities, mostly comedians, would go on and act like twats intentionally to take the piss out of, Alan Sugar, who is the host But that seems to be a full, 12 week run. I have no interest in how good Meat Loaf is at business. I know he's no good at business. He went bankrupt three times in the eighties.

Emma:

This is pre Donald Trump presidency.

Sam:

Oh yeah. No, absolutely. I I'm, this is back

Emma:

when he was a reality TV star. Yeah. But I don't think he would've had the sense of humor to have had the piss taken out of him. Like Alan

Sam:

No, absolutely not. At

Emma:

grimly

Sam:

I guess I'm more asking why Meat Loaf had 12 filming weeks to spare to make Celebrity Apprentice.

Emma:

Well, he'd obviously got an album to promote.

Sam:

But just do one episode. As a format, it baffles

Emma:

me

Sam:

my confusion about how certain formats work in America aside

Emma:

Yes.

Sam:

And how what a pathetic man.

Emma:

Yes.

Sam:

What an utterly pathetic man.

Emma:

He doesn't come out of it looking good. No. There are loads of clips on YouTube of him talking about I think he was recording his own video diary during it. Okay. So I watched a couple of those and they're all garbage as well. Uh, Team Backbone, which were the men. Yeah. And not all of the men in Team Backbone then went on to go and perform in the

Sam:

So the reference to, show you what a backbone's

Emma:

this is, team Backbone. So that was the men, the women were called team ASAP.

Sam:

Okay. Do you know what other investor calling it Team asap?

Emma:

Yep.

Sam:

I'm just saying,

Emma:

But the dots are in there, so I'm assuming it's as

Sam:

Did they stay separated then?

Emma:

I assume so,

Sam:

because in, in the in the versions I've seen, they tend to often start as men

Emma:

women.

Sam:

And then Alan Sugar will mix them up

Emma:

They've even ditched the men versus women side of things So it was mixed from the the off.

Sam:

Oh, how'because we still how progressive of Alan Sugar, colossal bell end.

Emma:

Team backbone were John Rich, the country singer. He won spoilers. Li'l John who did the wrapping.

Sam:

Sorry, Emma, can I just point out that the verb is to rap? Not to do the rap? He

Emma:

he did the wraps. He did the wrappings. he wrapped, he wrapped. No, he did the wrappings. I prefer it my way.

Sam:

Word.

Emma:

He, he'd done a rap in that

Sam:

He done a rap.,

Emma:

Gary Busey, obviously the actor, who got shouted at, uh,

Sam:

Uhhuh.

Emma:

mark McGrath. Who's the Sugar Ray front man. Kko, former MLB player.

Sam:

Okay.

Emma:

Okay. Uh, Richard Hatch. A Survivor winner. David Cassidy. Singer and actor. Yeah. And then of course, Meat Loaf. So you've not got a banging set of a-listers there, have you? When, uh, I think Meat Loaf's one of the

Sam:

Meat Loaf, uh,

Emma:

there.

Sam:

From our perspective. Yeah. I imagine a former baseball player's got a bit

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

A Survivor winner

Emma:

I mean, that's bottom of the barrel scraping, isn't it?

Sam:

it? Well you say that, but again, American Traitors is all survivor winners and people off Real Housewives and somehow they think that's good.

Emma:

It's not.

Sam:

uh, yeah.

Emma:

The thing that gets me is in the UK there would be at least one comedian

Sam:

Yeah, that's true. Yes. Celebrity versions of game or reality shows are an excuse for comedians to fart about.

Emma:

Yeah. You get sports personalities and other cel

Sam:

celebrity

Emma:

as well, but often it is the comedians doing the heavy lifting,

Sam:

because they know how to,

Emma:

they know how to handle situations,

Sam:

it too seriously and Yeah. Yeah,

Emma:

Because this all got a bit too serious. Not heavy, man. Again, I've only seen the British versions, but in the Real Apprentice, it never gets to that extent of

Sam:

No. I suspect the prizes are astronomically different as well. In a UK game show, it's a standard UK game show. If you go home with 3000 pounds, You've you've, done well, yeah. In America, that's the prize they give you for off, putting your name down on the badge.

Emma:

It just fascinated me that this song came out of this unlikely partnership between four of Team backbone. So.

Sam:

was Stand in the Storm released as part of The Apprentice or was it kind of after the show all went, Hey guys,

Emma:

The Apprentice itself was filmed in late 2010 and early 2011. The song Stand in the Storm was recorded and released shortly after the show in May, 2011. a direct result of the relationships and creative chemistry that Meat Loaf had with John Rich, mark McGrath and Lil John so it did come afterwards. I wonder if it was jammed on an album

Sam:

Yeah. As a result of that. Yeah, that's just what I was thinking. Emma, that was a really interesting dive into, I. The sort of behavior that Meat Loaf exhibiting Yeah. In the, uh, 2010s. Mm-hmm. We've not talked about this song.

Emma:

No, we haven't. Would you like to talk about the song a We probably should. It's quite bad.

Sam:

Is it? I mean, it's not good.

Emma:

Well,

Sam:

It's too long.

Emma:

It's too long.

Sam:

half. so the Ghost of Jim Steinman did make himself known there.

Emma:

I think it's written by all four of

Sam:

and what we know about Cooks is that the more of them the better as far as broth is concerned.

Emma:

I did write something. So it starts out with some heavy guitars. Ooh. We're in for something exciting. No, we're in, for reactionary music made by middle-aged men who feel marginalized by the existence of literally anything else. They're gonna show you what a backbone's for by standing in the storm and mixing and torturing metaphors all over the bloody

Sam:

Yeah. Backbones are not for standing in storms. No. You are thinking of umbrellas.

Emma:

Yes. And even then, not a great idea in a storm.

Sam:

in a thunderstorm.

Emma:

Verse one is Meat Loaf doing is rock and roll mercenary shtick.

Sam:

Which to be fair, we both enjoy. Yeah, it is rubbish. But we

Emma:

enjoy it. It's fun. It's rubbish, but fun. Yeah. Then there's the country verse, and then there's the rap. Which, as I said, name checks Trump and Gary the Celebrity Apprentice, which is really going to date it.

Sam:

oh, sorry, do you think that without that reference to Donald Trump, this would still be being sung up and down karaoke

Emma:

bars Absolutely, yes. Yeah, yeah. I don't think it's gonna make it onto the car playlist. it's just, it's horrible. the fact that it name checks Trump really makes my skin crawl.

Sam:

Well, yeah. I

Emma:

wanna get too

Sam:

Um,

Emma:

but eh,

Sam:

I mean, you know, they, they were unfortunately pals

Emma:

me and my crew, we keep it Trump tight. I'm just gonna sick in my

Sam:

Yeah. Just,

Emma:

It's horrible. Otherwise it's just like nonsense. Angry men. Angry about nothing in particular. Just being angry for the sake of it.

Sam:

Really being angry that they're not eternally young. Yeah. Do you know who was eternally young? Jim Steinman. and he was cool with it. Baby Jim Steinman was just kicking back.

Emma:

Well, while, while all this was happening, he faffing around with other

Sam:

faffing around trying to make a musical out of, two bricks that he saw leaning on a window. It's just a bit, eh, isn't it?

Emma:

Yeah. Do you wanna know what the people of the internet had to

Sam:

say? Yeah. Tell me what the people of the internet think.

Emma:

Mr. Hoes 9 1 6 0 said This is a mess, a combination of too many musical genres.

Sam:

Yeah. Agreed

Emma:

behind that. And, Edward Anderson and Odd Man. Said, edit the title Add Mark McGrath. You forgot his name'cause it doesn't mention his name at the top. But what, Edward Anderson and Odd Man is missing there is, it's Mark McGrath. That's Mark McGrath.

Sam:

Take that. Edward Anderson and Odd Man. Is it time to rate this song then? Emma?

Emma:

think it is

Sam:

this Okay. We've not had a great time with this episode's songs, have we? No, not a rubbish time. We've just had such a middle of the road time that if this was the podcast every episode, we might hang ourselves. Should we get some Jim in next time?

Emma:

I think we need some Jim.

Sam:

Okay. Emma, it is time to rate this song once again on our. Slightly less Dusty Meat Loaf song rating scale. And I remember now why we don't bring it out that often. Is this song Marvin Lee Aday? Marvin Lee Okay. Or Marvin Lee No Way

Emma:

What do you think

Sam:

on this one?. Individual, sections of it are adequate. The highest praise reviewer can give. But other individual sections reference a fascist. Yeah. Which isn't

Emma:

No.

Sam:

Um, so on balance, Emma,, if I had to choose a generic mid two thousands rock song to play, I would choose. Any of what Nickelback have done. I'm gonna give this a Marvin Lee No Way.

Emma:

I would absolutely agree with you there. This.

Sam:

This. is a Marvin Lee No

Emma:

Way

Sam:

You are fired. that, is that a thing? I

Emma:

think. I think. Yeah. They're all

Sam:

They're all fired

Emma:

still, at least that's over.

Sam:

Yeah. And

Emma:

can look forward to never having to listen to it again.

Sam:

Yeah. But who knows What'll spring out of the later works of Meat Loaf, Emma?

Emma:

Well, perhaps we need to, give ourselves something nice.

Sam:

we probably ought to give ourselves something nice next time as a little

Emma:

Yes, the little treat.

Sam:

But before we go for a little let's have a dive into the postal mailbag. So what do you think of these songs? Did you them? Do you agree with our ratings? Did you think we actually should have talked a bit more about the song Heavy as Jesus rather than everything else? Maybe we'll do that for another Stoney and Meat Loaf song who knows? Let us know. Chat out of hell@gmail.com. I've only got one message to read out to you this, episode. And that message is, we do owe an apology Brit Pop also Rams Ash. Ash did have a girl one in the band for some time. and on behalf of everybody here at Chat out of Hell, I'd like to extend an apology for, implying that the only reason that horrible review from SMASH hits liked them was cos they didn't have a girl

Emma:

one We're sorry, Ash.

Sam:

We're very sorry,

Emma:

Well think about what

Sam:

Sorry, So I set you a challenge at the start of this episode to think of the Jim Steinman song you would've liked to have had taken to Eurovision Emma?

Emma:

It's the Fire Inc version of Nowhere Fast

Sam:

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Just the song. We're having it performed by some guy from

Emma:

Belgium. Okay. No, I mean, lyrically the Fire Inc version.

Sam:

Fine. it is different

Emma:

and it's better.

Sam:

It's better. Okay. We'll give that to Engelbert Hump Dink. See how we can do, is that gonna do well at Eurovision?

Emma:

It would just fill my heart with joy.

Sam:

What to see.

Emma:

Do you think something ballady or something more ridiculous?

Sam:

Oh, it's gotta be the stupidest song in the songbook.

Emma:

what's the stupidest It's

Sam:

It's It's dance in my Pants. That would be amazing. Let's send Jan in my pants.

Emma:

do that.

Sam:

Performed by Scooter.

Emma:

With Whigfield.

Sam:

Whigfield. Oh. Oh, what a lineup. If you're listening, Graham Norton, I guess you don't need us. We've already given you all the Get them, give them a call

Emma:

because Graham is in charge of who, uh,

Sam:

gets I never really understand who it is because in other countries, like Italy has a whole I. Music festival dedicated to choosing their Eurovision act. Wow. And here in the UK, you just hear on the radio at some point in February that Oh, it's, it's these people

Emma:

anyway,

Sam:

So, Emma, what songs are we bringing next time?

Emma:

Well, I'm gonna bring, I'm Gonna Love Her for Both of Us from the Dead Ringer album,

Sam:

and I'll be bringing, Making Love Out of Nothing at All, which Jim Steinman wrote for the Australian Soft Rock Duo Air Supply. Listeners do send in your opinions on those if you have them. Keep your general Meat Loaf thoughts and anecdotes flying in. Did you see Meat Loaf in goal at the All Musicians five Side League? That was funny when I it, but now I've seen Celebrity Apprentice. I think that probably was a thing that was televised in America. Send us an email chat out of hell@gmail.com. Any other business, Emma?

Emma:

Uh, no. No other business from

Sam:

time. No other business from me either. So I'll call this meeting to a halt. The minutes will be distributed by close of play tomorrow. If you could initial them and return, See you all next. time on chat. Out of hell, bye

Emma:

Bye.

Sam:

Bow.