Chat out of Hell

Episode 4.6 - Kickapoo | California Isn't Big Enough (Hey There Girl)

• Emma Crossland & Sam Wilkinson • Season 4 • Episode 6

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Chat out of Hell earns its explicit tag this week and it's all Meat Loaf's fault. It's two songs from the cheeky boys of silly rock as we start with Meat guesting on a Tenacious D song then straight into a Justin Hawkins-penned number about his schlong. You know, his nob. His junk. His bits. His wang pipe. His donger. His one-eyed trouser snake. His pump-action yoghurt gun. His lizard. His peen. His Henry Hoover's nose. His genital joystick. His Meat Loaf and two Veg Loafs. His handy hosepipe. His shorts sausage. His Zeinab Bedawi's twenty hotels. His two-function Swiss army knife. His fleshy appendage. But also we discuss things like:

- Who are Tenacious D's target demographic?

- Why does Liam Lynch publish so many fun facts about himself?

- Did Meat Loaf try to chat Emma up on a dating app 15 years ago?

PLUS a bit of chat about children's TV formats, Meat Loaf wildly overestimates the number of deaths in Die Hard and all the usual sundry nonsense.

See you on August 11th for Film Club, where we'll be discussing the TV series Ghost Wars. It sounds AWFUL.

Keep your comments, reviews and arguments flying in to chatoutofhell@gmail.com, find us on Facebook or Instagram by searching Chat out of Hell and don't forget to use the hashtag #DearA1saucewedontneedyoursaucenowwevegotourown

Chat out of Hell is a is a review podcast: all music extracts are used for review/illustrative purposes. To hear the songs in full please buy them from your local record shop or streaming platform. Don't do a piracy.

Music extracts on this episode:

Kickapoo by Tenacious D feat. Meat Loaf and Dio from the album The Pick of Destiny (2006)

California Isn't Big Enough (Hey There Girl) by Meat Loaf from the album Hang Cool Teddy Bear (2010)


Send us a text

Sam:

is this?

Emma:

This is Chat Out of Hell, a podcast where we chat about our time in hell no, wait, hang on. No. This is the one where we chat about some songs by Meat Loaf and or Jim Steinman,

Sam:

what would the podcast that is actually about hell be called Lucifer Women.

Emma:

Oh.

Sam:

Good. is Meat Loaf?

Emma:

Meat Loaf was a singer who spent the summer before going to college as a debt collector. He said"they wanted me to call people up on the phone and get money from them. I couldn't do that. It was too horrible. So instead I would drive to these places and knock on the door trying to be as polite as possible and as nice about it as I could be."

Sam:

Sorry, what? It was too horrible to ring up.

Emma:

So it went

Sam:

so we went to their houses and said,"give me some fucking money."

Emma:

Presumably? Yep. It's another gem from the, autobiography. Uh, Who's Jim Steinman?

Sam:

Jim Steinman was someone Steven Spielberg described as one of the only rock composers he'd want to work with. Aw Tantalizingly he almost got to do the score for something called Raiders of the Lost Ark until some guy called John Williams came Imagine that It'd still be going now.

Emma:

It would, it would. Amazing. who are we?

Sam:

We are Sam Wilkinson and Emma Crossland. And we're both still sad that we never got to go on ITV's Fun House or even its slightly less appealing sibling, Finders Keepers.

Emma:

It's true. Welcome to Chat Out of Hell

Sam:

Bow. Now, now, yeah. did you know Funhouse was based on an American

Emma:

Was It

Sam:

run for three series in the US Well sorry. Three seasons. to our 11

Emma:

That's a lot of fun.

Sam:

It's not an interesting fact.

Emma:

No, but it is a fact.

Sam:

fact.

Emma:

it's the last one of the series. This is all we've got. This is all got left in the tank.

Sam:

we are running on fumes. How do real podcasts do it every week? You don't get this American Life where Ira Glass comes on and goes, I. Is this American? Uh, just I've, anyway, here's a documentary about rats in an apartment building.

Emma:

It's professionalism, Sam, and we lack that in every aspect of our lives., I don't even have a proper job these days. I am just useless now. at least you have a proper job still. Yeah. I assume that you are, more professional mostly during that than,

Sam:

I mean, I still have the

Emma:

job. Yeah. AI at my job, so

Sam:

it's coming for me.

Emma:

Woo hoo. Then you too can spend your days pretending to be an artist one day, an author the next day. A resting actor, sometimes

Sam:

this is like, Mr. Ben,

Emma:

Yes. This is depressed. Mr. Ben.

Sam:

This is the last episode in this series of Chat out of Hell. It's, it's, and it's what is Chat Out of Hell.

Emma:

it is a podcast where we bring two Meat Loaf, Jim Steinman, or Meat and Jim adjacent songs to the table to have a good old chat about before we rate them on our patented Jim Steinman and or Meat Loaf rating scales

Sam:

Yes, that's right. So to mark the end of series four, we have dipped into our listener requests. Both selected a listener favorite suggested listener, suggested song.

Emma:

have you brought then, Sam?

Sam:

I have brought Kickapoo, which is a song mostly by Tenacious D, but featuring Meat Loaf from the film, Tenacious D, the Pick of Destiny.

Emma:

How exciting.

Sam:

Please tell your face, your voice.

Emma:

Let me do me to, that's, that's really exciting,

Sam:

it? Just Emma. It's a song by tenacious D

Emma:

Friends. Tenacious and friends. Wow.

Sam:

Emma, what song have you brought? Your miserable

Emma:

fucking I've brought California Isn't Big Enough brackets Hey There Girl close brackets from the Hang Cool Teddy Bear album.

Sam:

Nice. So we starting with Kickapoo.

Emma:

I think we should start with Kickapoo.

Sam:

Listeners go away to your YouTubes or your Spotifys, probably your YouTubes.'cause there is a music video and it is just the first scene in the film, the Pick of Destiny. Um, and frankly, if you're not looking at the video, some of it won't be clear what's happening. So find it on the YouTubes or the, just whatever. Leave me alone. You're not my real dad. Just like Meat Loaf isn't Jack Black's real dad, but he plays him in this.

Emma:

Oh, what a link.

Soundtrack:

You disobey my oldest son my way. You ever born your brothers 10 times better than you? Jesus loves and more. This music that you played for us comes from the depth of rock and is the devil's work. He wants you to rebel. You become a mindless Bible strings. Your heart will lose direction and chaos will be

Sam:

You've just listened to a clip of Meat Loaf's bit of Kickapoo from the Tenacious D, the Pick of Destiny soundtrack the song was requested by Tom Woffenden. just tell you what Tom thinks."Tenacious D made a film called The Pick of Destiny in 2006 ish. I think. Was bang on, and the band were adamant that only one man could play Teenage Jack Black's dad in the film. And that man was Meat Loaf. He's in the film at the start and sings during the opening number Kickapoo, which is a banger. As I say, it's on the cusp for this show, but it's a great track. And Meat Loaf's vocals are top here." I, I do agree with That last sentiment.

Emma:

Oh, Meat Loaf's vocals are the best thing about it.

Sam:

Well, yeah, but also this is 2006. About the same era that he's putting out Bat out of Hell Three. Yeah. Where his vocals are much, much

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

Yeah. So for two verses in a, silly comedy film, he does give it his all. For the listeners who haven't watched the video, the song of How Jack Black came to be so fucking Rad. Um, but Meat Loaf plays Young Jack Black's dad as a southern religious head of the household in the stereotypical way., Very angry at his son for listening to the Devil's Music. The song's a bit Jesus Christ Superstar.

Emma:

yeah,

Sam:

and a bit Tommy By The Who.

Emma:

Yeah. It's coming from a similar place, I guess,

Sam:

it's I

Emma:

because it's a rock

Sam:

no, it's a rock musical. Kickapoo, which was the name of the town that it all began in. The Kickapoo people are an Algonquin speaking Native American tribe and indigenous people in Mexico.

Emma:

Ah,

Sam:

There are three federally recognized Kickapoo tribes in the United States. The Kickapoo Tribe in Kansas, the Kickapoo Tribe of Oklahoma, and the Kickapoo Traditional Tribe of Texas.

Emma:

Okay.

Sam:

so jog on the other two

Emma:

Is this like the Judean People's

Sam:

the, People's Front of Judea, song was written of course by Tenacious D who are Jack Black and Kyle Gass. And Liam Lynch.

Emma:

Liam Lynch.

Sam:

yes. The Liam Lynch who sang United States of Whatever. Oh

Emma:

Oh

Sam:

Which I chose is the song I'd've wanted Meat Loaf to cover. This podcast is magical, Emma. People come in from everywhere, United States of Whatever is the shortest song to reach the top 10 in the UK, clocking in at only one minute in 25 seconds. Lynch directed the Pick of Destiny movie. He's directed a lot of music videos for various artists, including Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters, No Doubt, Weird Al, They Might Be Giants.

Emma:

Oh, some Cool

Sam:

cetera. Some cool names in there, but a lot of names in that kind of, uh, nineties rocky

Emma:

Yeah. Yeah.

Sam:

Dave Grohl obviously worked with Tenacious D and was on Tribute. The song that everyone knows, in recent years, the song Kickapoo has become the unofficial fight song of Kickapoo High School. Located in Springfield, Missouri. Actually, this is quite a boring fact. I'm not

Emma:

Fair enough. That's as much of the fact as we need.

Sam:

Yes. There is no Kickapoo in Missouri, which the film is set

Emma:

So it's all just lies. It's all just

Sam:

It's all just lies. Well, it's just like there is no Pawnee in Indiana.

Emma:

Oh, me so

Sam:

that they made up the name of a town to set a lovely sitcom

Emma:

in, at least there's a Scranton in Pennsylvania.

Sam:

There is a Scranton where Joe Biden's

Emma:

is it? Yeah. Oh, I'm learning things all the time.

Sam:

That's what we present here today. Not a lot of Meat Loaf chat. Lots of facts. As Tom mentioned in the email, even before they'd written the film, Jack Black was adamant that he wanted Meat Loaf to play his dad in

Emma:

it. Yeah.

Sam:

And, this is from Meat Loaf's point of view."Jack is going around in interviews and on TV talking about his movie and saying,'I want Meat Loaf to play my dad.' And every time he does, I get a phone call."The people that were really excited and that called me every time, are my two daughters,'dad, dad, Jack did it again, he said he wanted to play his dad again. Dad, you gotta do it. If they call you, you've gotta do it.'

Emma:

That's quite sweet.

Sam:

That is very sweet. I like that. But then he says this,"I said,'I'm an actor, not a musician, and people just think of me as a musician, and I need to be taken seriously as an actor. So if I do, if I sing, they're not gonna take me seriously as an actor.'"

Emma:

Oh, why does he have to do this? I know at this stage in his career, he's just becoming mean, I get the impression that throughout his entire life he was a frustrated actor.

Sam:

Yeah. He's talks about think of himself as being an actor rather than a musician quite a few times. Yeah. But at the same time, once the Bat out of Hell, cat is out of the bag,

Emma:

the cat out of

Sam:

hell. Once the cat out of hell is out of the, the hell bag that's not going back. You

Emma:

You can't get the cat back into a bag.

Sam:

RHLSTP Richard Herring often asks, has your obituary photo already been taken? Yeah. And Meat Loaf's obituary was written in 1979. Yeah, STING Tenacious D of course, if you are not familiar with them, they consist of Jack Black, famous for School of Rock, Kung Fu Panda, and most recently the Minecraft film. And Kyle Gass, who is famous for being friends with Jack Black in their band that made edgy jokes until he made an edgy joke that would impact Jack Black's income.

Emma:

then they had a bit of a

Sam:

then They had a bit of a fight. They're both from California, internet famously Jack Black's mother was an engineer at NASA who was working on what had gone wrong with Apollo 13 while in the delivery room.

Emma:

That's, that's some woman,

Sam:

isn't it? That's some heck of a woman. Yeah. I think the disaster had already happened, but they were doing the, debrief sort of stuff. She was working on some algorithms while giving birth to, future. Jack Black, Jack Black,"I think I was nine years old when my big sister took me to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show."Meat Loaf rocked the hell out of that movie. 25 years later, I begged him to play my father in my band's movie, the Pick of Destiny. And by God, he rocked the hell out of that one too. Thank you. Meat for Rocking So hard. Much love to his friend and family. Meat Loaf. Rest in peace.

Emma:

Aw.

Sam:

Aw, it's a lovely thing to say and it does highlight my issue with Tenacious D as a whole We had this in our brief prerecording chat. I've nothing against Tenacious D but also as musical comedy acts go, they're quite down my Mm. Their main achievement seems to be realizing that rock rhymes with cock. saying fuck a lot.

Emma:

And I just need a bit more from my musical comedy.

Sam:

Emma's a Flanders and Swan girl.

Emma:

it's fine. It just, I, I think it just seemed really dumb. And that was, that was part of the, it wasn't, it just didn't do anything for me.

Sam:

They're renowned as stoner

Emma:

Yeah. It was the sort of, and there was a lot of stoner comedy around at that point.'cause like there was all the Kevin, Smith.

Sam:

Oh yeah, yeah. You J and

Emma:

Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't mind that sort of stuff. And I was a teeny, tiny bit of a stoner back then. Obviously. Not really Mum.

Sam:

Emma has never seen

Emma:

A Marijuana, you say? That sounds like a lovely name for a girl. I never got into stoner culture'cause Yeah. The people that I knew that were heavily into stoner culture were so fucking about it. Yeah. Yes. And they'd go on and on about it. I remember there was a guy that I met who I think sort of wanted to go out with me, but I just found him so boring because all he'd talk about was Cheech and Chong films that I'd never seen. Oh God. Oh, stinky memory. Unlocked Sweaty boys.

Sam:

can do your drugs and still have interesting

Emma:

You could also do your drugs and not smell of them the whole time.

Sam:

Anyway, guys, this is a cool podcast about, cool rock music. Speaking of drugs, Uhhuh, the Pick of Destiny, we, we'll, we'll end up covering it for film but, um, the film was a, bomb at the box office, but since became a cult kind of underground

Emma:

is that because stoners couldn't scrape together the cash to go to the cinema, but could manage to torrent and download it.

Sam:

Here is a quote from Jack Black."A lot of enthusiastic stoners were like, yeah, dude, I just saw it and I was like, where were you when the movie came out? Sorry, dude, I was high."

Emma:

Oh yeah.

Sam:

You and him, you think alike. So yeah, as a cultural artifact, it's a really good performance from Meat. And it's nice that he's recognized as a big influence on silly rock of the 21st century. I am scrambling around for any kind of criticisms to make about this song,

Emma:

It's fine.

Sam:

It is fine

Emma:

For what it is?

Sam:

Yeah. Sorry. Listeners we've sort of just bounced off Tenacious D a bit.

Emma:

Fine if you like that sort of thing.

Sam:

if

Emma:

maybe we'll watch the film and really enjoy it?

Sam:

We could. We could, yeah. Probably won't.

Emma:

No.

Sam:

Would you like to do a quiz?

Emma:

I mean No, but go on then.

Sam:

So the film was directed by Liam Lynch,

Emma:

Uhhuh,

Sam:

singer of United States of Whatever. He's a fun guy. Emma. Is he? Here are two Liam Lynch facts and one Liam Lynch lie. Which of these is the lie A Liam Lynch had his pet cat cloned in 2006. B Liam Lynch cannot burp. C Liam Lynch performed at the Vatican Christmas concert.

Emma:

Which one of these is, uh, about See the Macarena you're

Sam:

Don't pretend to forget.

Emma:

Uh, wow. There's cat cloning available because

Sam:

that's for you to guess.

Emma:

Widget. We could clone you. My cat is no longer radioactive.

Sam:

Yeah. cat update. it's weird timing for

Emma:

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. yeah. Cat Update, Widget's no longer radioactive. She's allowed to go out and play again. Having a lovely time doing it. The neighbours are delighted to see her again. That was super cute hearing about that. And she's looking really good, don't you think, Sam? It's been a while since

Sam:

good. Yeah. She's put, she's put on weight.

Emma:

She's, looking like a healthy

Sam:

she, she had a lovely play with a mouse on a string earlier. It's like you live in a cartoon.

Emma:

I love her so much. Uh, anyway, that's, that's off topic

Sam:

Yeah. Um, cloned pet cat cannot burp performed at the Vatican Christmas concerts.

Emma:

Oh, God. Performing at the Vatican Christmas concert, that seems like a lie, as does cloning cats.

Sam:

But you're buying cannot burp, are you?

Emma:

Some people struggle with it a bit. I don. Oh, I dunno. None of them seem likely. That's why you're so good at this Wilkinson. Um, fuck it. I don't think he sang at the Vatican.

Sam:

Yeah, you're right. He didn't. Yeah.

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

That was of course, Los del Rio. was. Who were performing their hit song Macarena for old Daddy

Emma:

Pope. I bet the Pope loved it.

Sam:

did. And that was JP2. He

Emma:

JP2. I mean, he was a, a party guy, wasn't He Yeah,

Sam:

yeah. He was stood there doing the old, uh, doing the Mac, doing the Macarena dance.

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

Hey, Yeah, he can't burp.

Emma:

I couldn't burp for quite a long

Sam:

Oh, tell me about it. Right, because, my friend Leanne, hello Leanne, if you're listening, who I met at university, she also can't burp. And I didn't, not, didn't believe her but I didn't believe her for a. Because it's a weird thing to go around saying, and then I heard a documentary on Radio Four about people who can't burp and there being a treatment for it now. And I genuinely had to pull over the, the first lay by I saw to message Leanne and say there's a cure.

Emma:

Um, I just remember as a kid, I couldn't really burp. Um,

Sam:

so did you just have like a massive drink of lemonade one day and clear everything

Emma:

I honestly dunno what happened. I think because

Sam:

because I've heard you burp

Emma:

I can burp like a fucking legend now,

Sam:

Like a Tenacious D fan,

Emma:

I can get at least part of the way through the alphabet. Oh. I'm not as good memory unlocked. So my mom, had a business partner and they used to go on various car journeys, and lovely Debbie, who is a lovely person. she, she could burp,"Archbishop Makario",

Sam:

is that a real person?

Emma:

Never knew, but she was very proud of saying it. Okay.

Sam:

Yeah. Okay. You're gonna love this. Makarios the third was a Greek Cypriot, prelate and politician who served as Archbishop of the Church of Cyprus from 1950 to 1977, and was the first president of Cyprus between 1960 and 1974. Well,

Emma:

there we go.

Sam:

is remembered now for being the best thing you can burp

Emma:

I think I, I I would sort of burp and then just follow through with a vomit, whereas

Sam:

Now, whereas, could you do Archbishop Macario now? No. Remembering the founding father of the Republic of Cyprus. No,

Emma:

definitely not got one brewing at the moment.

Sam:

Yeah. Some people can just burp on command, which I've never Don't do that. I do need a big, refreshing can of Fanta

Emma:

Yeah, I need to have one brewing, I can usually muster one up on a long car journey.

Sam:

Yes, I am aware. I burp a lot more when I'm driving.

Emma:

Maybe I do Weird.

Sam:

Anyway, we've talked enthusiastically about burping far more than we have about this song by Tenacious D featuring Meat Loaf and Dio didn't even mention Dio. He was would you like to hear what the people of the internet think? Always. at GTX 4 9 5 9, I wonder how much Meat Loaf hated removing all those posters. He, tears down some rock posters to which At Rush Pittsburgh. Four probably didn't mind it.

Emma:

Oh, the internet people.

Sam:

Yeah, the, the posters mate, calm down.

Emma:

The props they were supposed to be Meat Loaf's a professional

Sam:

That is what the people of the internet have to say. Should we rate this

Emma:

song? Let's rate it.

Sam:

Well, this song is gonna be rated on our Meat Loaf song rating scale, which runs from Marvin Lee Aday up at the top to Marvin Lee Okay, for his averagey songs, all the way down to Marvin Lee No Way, for the well bad stuff what he's sometimes done. Emma, what's this?

Emma:

It's an okay,

Sam:

it? It is. It's an okay. It's, it's one of those okays that neither of us are gonna rush to listen to again

Emma:

film. It's not going on the car

Sam:

it's not going on the playlist. It's a good performance. The song's adequate, but not to our tastes. And crucially, there is no misogyny in it that I noticed.

Emma:

No.

Sam:

So well done Meat Loaf. Well done Meat Loaf. Well It's a Marvin Lee Okay! It's It's Marvin Lee Okay. What, Emma, what song have you brought for listeners?

Emma:

Well, I've also dug into the requests bag, and I've brought California isn't Big Enough brackets, Hey There, Girl from Hang Cool Teddy Bear., There's no video for this one, so go and listen to it wherever you listen to your music. don't know, maybe you've got it on an old iPod.

Sam:

Oh, like you find in the

Emma:

Yeah, that's,

Sam:

that's That's good. That

Emma:

it's a bit dusty. But you found the cable and Oh my God, it still works.

Sam:

my tastes from 2007.

Emma:

Oh, they're still the same

Sam:

They're

Emma:

now.

Sam:

That's right. For some reason they stopped making good music in my mid to late twenties. How range.

Emma:

Go and check it out.

Soundtrack:

You tell. You tell you.

Emma:

oh, Meat Loaf. You s Scamp. So that was, California Isn't Big Enough. It was an album track on Hang Cool Teddy Bear, which came out in April, 2010. where do we start?

Sam:

I know where Meat Loaf wants you to

Emma:

start. Oh, it's a very silly song, isn't it? It

Sam:

is a very silly

Emma:

From what I can gather, hang cool. Teddy Bear, and I'll be honest, I've not listened to all of it yet and probably need to listen to it, because it's supposed to be a concept album Yes. About a soldier called Patrick who is lying on the battlefield. Injured Yeah.

Sam:

Yep.

Emma:

Possibly dying. His best mate's next to him dead. And the idea is that these songs are instead of seeing his life flashing before his eyes, he sees his future or futures flash before his eyes. And it's always about

Sam:

So he's lying on the battlefield, potentially dying. Yeah. He sees different versions of his life and in one of those versions of his life, he's boasting about the size of his cock.

Emma:

Apparently so. Right. fun

Sam:

we're gonna make it through this. We're gonna make it stay with me, man. One day we'll be in California together, boasting about the size of our penises.

Emma:

Um, so Walmart, Refused to carry the album unless this song was removed. So there's two versions of it. And on, one of the YouTube videos that, I watched, there were a lot of people saying, this, this isn't on my version of the album. It's not fair. It's, it's, it's not on it. And other people say, you need to get the UK version'cause that's got, the dick song, on the song was removed.'cause

Sam:

I thought they'd just changed the lyric.

Emma:

Nope, the whole song was removed. This was written by, Justin Hawkins of the Darkness and a guy called Eric Nally from a band called Foxy Shazam. Okay. I'd not heard of Foxy Shazam before. I have been listening to a little bit of them. I think I'll probably be listening to a bit

Sam:

Oh.

Emma:

I think I quite like them. They seem to be a bit showy and bombastic. Okay. Justin Hawkins, know from the Darkness, the Darkness sort of emerged in the early two thousands again while I was at university. In fact, they played at MIddlesbrough Music Live when I was a student at Teeside. Which was a big free music festival that the city would put on. Mm-hmm. Say city, I mean town would put on. And they were on the main stage rocking it and having a lovely time. Oh

Sam:

Oh yeah. The Darkness were great. A darkness Yeah. The Darkness were, um, I don't, you won't know, you might know, did they have much international success? because they feel like a very British phenomenon.

Emma:

Something very British about that. Whole thing., They had some really big hits back in the early two thousands, like I Believe in a Thing Called Love. Yeah. And of course they had their slightly rude Christmas song. Don't Let the Bells End

Sam:

Well,, I'm glad we're talking about this because I think that is the most recent song to enter the Christmas

Emma:

cake. I agree with you. it's properly solidified that you hear it in shops when you are walking around at Christmas and then you have a giggle to yourself.'cause it's about dicks, which is very appropriate considering Justin Hawkins wrote this song. Yes.

Sam:

Which

Emma:

is very explicitly about dicks.

Sam:

Yeah.

Emma:

Justin Hawkins, knew Meat Loaf for about 19 years. When I was researching this, I found a lovely TikTok video from him, on the day after Meat Loaf's death And he paid quite a sweet tribute. They were obviously friends, and Meat Loaf took the Darkness on tour with him. Oh, sweet. So they were his was that They were his support during some tours in mainland Europe, I think it was when the Darkness got to play Germany for the first time and, and things like that. And Justin said that he found the drama of the live shows utterly amazing. But he also found the backstage dramas fascinating as well. Didn't go into details about it,

Sam:

you bastard, Justin Hawkins

Emma:

He did say you couldn't, tell where the show stopped and the real life began. But he also said, that Meat Loaf was a legit and authentic artist, which I think is very sweet, nice thing to say. Yeah. Justin also plays the guitar solo on this track, which is quite an epic guitar. guitar. You can tell it's got the Darkness written all over it? so the other guy, Eric Nally from Foxy Shazam. he was interviewed by the, Phoenix New Times, about his. Participation in the album. And he said,"I wrote two songs, on his new album. I co-wrote them with Justin Hawkins from The Darkness, who is one of my best friends in the It was a really good experience. They asked me to come out and do it because they thought I'd be good, I hung out with Meat and with Rob Covelo," who's the producer of the album, who's worked with lots of artists,"and we wrote two songs and it was awesome. It's a good notch to have on your belt because for being so young, not a lot of people get to experience something like that." So it sounds like they both had really positive experiences working with Meat Loaf, is actually nice to hear. That is nice to hear because I feel like on this podcast and just in general, we're quite down on him.

Sam:

We are quite down on him. quite

Emma:

down on him. Um, and it is nice to hear some of the nicer

Sam:

as well. Yeah, I think obviously we don't like his politics. he's a difficult guy to like, but I think people who spend time with him tend to speak highly of him. And then if you spend too much time with him, he throws a big tantrum because he can't find his crayons.

Emma:

see The Apprentice.

Sam:

Apprentice.

Emma:

So yeah, they're the two that wrote this. I mean, I say wrote it lyrically, it's not a masterpiece. It feels very tongue in cheek as a song with Justin Hawkins involved. It would be. But it's not subtle.

Sam:

it's not subtle. I've only have a few notes on this, but, one of mine is very early in their career. I there's a song, For Crying out Loud. Yeah. Which Jim Steinman wrote featuring the lyric. Can't you see My Faded Levi's Bursting Apart, which is the epitome of subtlety compared to this song,

Emma:

compared to I can barely fit my dick in my pants. Before we address the dick

Sam:

to Sir,

Emma:

there's a few other lines that I wanna just pull out. Cool. I'm so hot and you are the reason why. I think that's quite a nice little one, but then it's followed up with You are so cute. I wanna smash your face. Sorry. What? An absolute favorite line in this is come and lend me your hand with my forthcoming release. That

Sam:

is

Emma:

is art. That is beautiful. And also one here that reminded me of my internet dating days. Oh, hello. Back when I had a profile of Plenty of Fish before meeting the current Mr. Crossland."I'm no Fred, but I can make your bedrock baby." That chat up line has been used on me.

Sam:

Shit. Emma, was Meat Loaf trying to chat you up.

Emma:

I was so happy. It might have been just in Hawkins, but Okay.

Sam:

Could have been just in

Emma:

Hawkins. No, I think it was probably one of the creepy that I attracted on internet dating. On the back of this album, were the Roman Numerals IV and people on YouTube were querying what that was about. do you wanna make a guess?

Sam:

Okay. I don't believe this, but I believe that some people believe that that is a signal that this is the real Bat out of Hell

Emma:

some people thought that, but the real truth of it is this is the fourth album without any influence from Jim.

Sam:

Oh, okay.

Emma:

Which is a bit of a dick move.'cause the so it's time to address the dick. This is a big departure from most of the Meat Loaf ouevre

Sam:

Well, yeah. Most of the Meat Loaf oeuvre doesn't feature the word dick. No. Let alone 37 times.

Emma:

Meat Loaf songs can be full of all kinds of innuendo and suggestion, but they're never very explicit like that. It's like you've mentioned about Jim's. Uh, yeah. It's always more poetic. What This is the Dallas Observer. The headline is Meat Loaf Dicks Around On His Latest. You hear it, but you can hardly believe it. Come on, you think to yourself, there's no way he just sang that. But alas, there it is. Just 50 seconds into the ninth track on Meat Loaf's new album, Hang Cool Teddy Bear and he freaking belts it. If it's not the best hook you'll hear all year, it's certainly the most jarring. people weren't happy about not just Walmart, uh, people in general. Meat Loaf's fans.

Sam:

Okay. This is so weird'cause Meat Loaf's fans will like any old shit.

Emma:

The reason that this song first appeared is there had been a couple of songs leading up to it that were a bit more low key and soppy, if you like. Okay. And so it was time to put out something.

Sam:

So sort of break, break the tone of the

Emma:

the tone of the album. Yeah. Um, and so he contacted the guys that wrote it, and he said, Hey, I want to shock my but not kill them. And he swears he tried to find a way around it when he and Green Day producer Rob Covelo glanced over the collection of songs, amassed over their month long writing session. They kept coming back to this one song. Rob played this chorus again and I said, oh man, that chorus is so great. Then we called in Cara and James Michael,Justin me and everyone that we could to try and replace the word dick, and we couldn't. I even reached out to my old writing partner, Jim Steinman, and nobody could replace it. So eventually I said, I've got to go with this. I have to. There's no choice at this point. So they kept trying to find another word for Dick. Reached

Sam:

to Jim reached

Emma:

to Jim, reached out to Jimmy.

Sam:

oh yeah. Hey Jimmy. How are you doing? It's been a while. Uh, listen, what's another word for Dick?

Emma:

Meat Loaf, just buy Thesaurus mate,

Sam:

but.

Emma:

but nothing

Sam:

Right. have

Emma:

impact, would it?

Sam:

it? It, it, it's a very well written line there are a lot of synonyms for Dick, but they,

Emma:

of them work.

Sam:

of them work. None of them work.

Emma:

I don't think you could replace it with cock or

Sam:

because the, the, the d

Emma:

it's such a hard word. such a stupid song. debated it like crazy, but it really needed to be there for the story. And I didn't do it because I wanted something explicit or because I wanted to offend. Then the article goes on to say, the thing is it kind of has offended. Meat Loaf fans are openly questioning his motives on fan pages. Walmart refused to sell the cd that includes the song, Amazon.com, user reviews have blasted him left and right. And in order to have a song played on the radio, the edited version had to be created in which the dick is bleeped out.

Sam:

Oh. Oh, no, that's boring. I prefer it when they replace it with something else that fits the cadence. You know, like how St. Vincent has a, song where you're the only motherfucker in this city who can handle me. Yeah. Which for the radio edit was, you are the only other sucker in the city.

Emma:

But we're back to the, what do you replace it with?

Sam:

I can barely fit my bits in my pants. No, you'd have to change it entirely,

Emma:

wouldn't you? have

Sam:

be, um, I can barely fit a kiss in my hand.

Emma:

It would have to be something as awful as that. Yeah. And then it doesn't make any sense.

Sam:

Oh, well I do

Emma:

apologize. It doesn't make any sense why he singing it so aggressively.

Sam:

I can barely fit this kiss in my hand

Emma:

really going for it. Oh,

Sam:

He's having a great time with

Emma:

it. He's delighted to tell us about his dick and how big it must be, or how tight his pants are.

Sam:

no, because it's also bigger than California.

Emma:

Meat Loaf went on to say, some of the reviews on amazon.com are going, oh, we can't believe this. And I'm just going, oh, you people are so hypocritical. You'll sit and watch Die Hard, where if you actually add up the body count, there's almost 700 people killed. You'll listen to swear words all day long and not blink an eye, and you'll let your kids sit around and play a video game. But the word dick comes on my album, and you're like, oh Lord, I'm gonna get struck by lightning. People go, oh, I can't believe it. But it's so silly sometimes how people can watch True Blood and all the movies and everything and the video games. And like Walmart, Walmart won't put anything explicit on the record or anything, but they'll sell those video games. Car Thief four or something.

Sam:

Where should I begin? Let's begin with 700 people die in Die Hard. While Emma was talking, I was doing some quick maths. There were 12 baddies in Die Hard. There is the sleazy guy and I believe the head of the company, uh, and maybe this is the security guy. Let's say 20 people at most die and hard Meat Loaf. You fucking Even in D like die hard two. A plane crash in I think even if you add it up, let's be generous and say all five die hards. You're not getting to 700 dead people.

Emma:

No.

Sam:

In conclusion shut up Loaf.

Emma:

But

Sam:

He's also done the, uh, Car Thief Four. He's, done the ostentatiously, pretending not to know what a very popular thing is called thing. Yeah. Which coming from a man who works in pop music is, quite the

Emma:

twattery. The somewhat ironic thing though is that Meat Loaf's target audience for this record is a younger one, or younger at least than his standard classic rock fan base, because that's what young people want to hear. Apparently a 62-year-old man boastfully singing about the size of his meat, He has a proper rant as well. He doesn't understand why it's okay for Katie Perry to go around humping people in her videos, but not for him to sing about his dick.

Sam:

Oh. Um, well, because they're different things.

Emma:

Yeah.

Sam:

That's why

Emma:

it's it's true. Yeah. They're diff they're just different. things.

Sam:

different things.

Emma:

Uh, personally, I don't mind Meat Loaf singing about his dick. I've got No, problem with it.

Sam:

funny. This

Emma:

is, this is going on the car playlist.

Sam:

Yeah.

Emma:

It's a stupid song.

Sam:

song.

Emma:

And I think I really like it.

Sam:

I'm glad Emma. I didn't wanna have to argue about the rating, but I don't think we will have to.

Emma:

I. would you like to hear what the internet people had to say? CTOR 55 said, I have listened to this song about 200 times. What's wrong with me? I got Meat Loaf fever, to which, Lou Saders replied. It's called the Meat sweats And that's all I've got.

Sam:

Woo. It's not just a stupid lyric, it's a genuinely quite good song.

Emma:

I can see myself singing along to this in the car. Yeah. it's, a bit of a banger, but

Sam:

it's a joke. And we're all in on the joke

Emma:

It's a joke like Surf's Up, isn't it?

Sam:

it? it's like if Justin Hawkins had written surf's we've already discussed Christmas time. Don't let the Bells end Indeed. The other big songs by the Darkness included, get your hands off of My Woman Motherfucker. Yes. And Black Shuck brackets that dog don't give a fuck. I like the Justin Hawkins formula applied to Meat Loaf. Yeah,

Emma:

it works. It works.

Sam:

works.

Emma:

another Justin Hawkins song on the album that we'll have to come to

Sam:

Let's that for when we're feeling sad. Is it time to rate the song then, Emma? It's time to rate it. Well, our Meat Loaf song rating scale is fresh and clean after its last use. So I'm not even gonna run down the rankings.

Emma:

sliced it down?

Sam:

Oh,

Emma:

What do you think it is then,

Sam:

Well, it's Marvin Lee Aday isn't And I'm gonna even go further than that. I think it's one of the better Marvin Lee Adays. Oh, yeah. it shares the ranking of Marvin Lee Aday with, I'd Lie for You. And That's the Truth, which is fun, but it's a photocopy of a Jim Steinman. Yeah. Couldn't Have Said it Better,

Emma:

which

Sam:

another sort of Jim Stein esque.. This is the first one we've both rated, uh, Marvin Lee a day, which isn't.

Emma:

Yeah. So who knew?

Sam:

There we go.

Emma:

I'm looking forward to exploring other parts of this album

Sam:

now. Yeah. I'm a bit more aboard with this album. Fucking dire as the previous, as Los Angeles was. Oh

Emma:

was. Oh God. And yet I still get it stuck in my head on the regular,

Sam:

Who recommended that to us? one. Stephanie Stephanie. Thank you very much. You've ended this series on a high. that was our songs this time. Emma, what we doing next time?

Emma:

We're having a little bit of a break. Yeah.

Sam:

having a break. We deserve a break. to dust else and so do you time to dust off the Belle and Sebastian CDs and enjoy the

Emma:

Lovely.

Sam:

But we'll be back after our usual six week break, On the 11th of August. Woo. When we are gonna be opening series five with another film club. Emma, what's our film club gonna be this

Emma:

time? Well, we're deviating slightly from film. It's TV club. We are going to watch Ghost Wars, which is a TV series that Meat Loaf had a part in. It's available on Netflix the uk. In the uk uh, I dunno if

Sam:

it was made by the sci-fi channel, apparently

Emma:

Yes it was. And there was only one season of it, which tells you how good it and how well received it was.

Sam:

Emma's already watched that, that's 13 episodes. We never expect you to watch the films in Film Club, but

Emma:

we won't be doing a deep dive into the plot.

Sam:

Bloody hell. pace yourselves. Yeah. Maybe watch one episode and get the So yeah, we'll be back with that on the 11th and then we'll return with series five proper on the 25th of August. And for one, we've learned a lot about the early life of Jim so far. So we're gonna start taking a look at the early life of Meat Loaf with a couple of songs that are relevant to that. So I will be bringing. Objects in the Rear View Mirror from the album Bat out of Hell Two.

Emma:

Uh, and I'll be bringing Testify from, Couldn't Have Said It Better.

Sam:

If you have opinions on those or anything we've talked about or just anything to do with Meat Loaf, drops a line Chat out of hell@gmail.com. Which prominent politicians names. Can you burp chat out of hell@gmail.com? Are you in Foxy Shazam? Chat out of hell@gmail.com. Don't forget to give us five stars on whatever app you are listening to this on. Recommend us on a first date. Have you made it to a second date after recommending chat out of hell? Let us know. Chat out of hell@gmail.com. Did you see Meat Loaf playing snooker while wearing a big pair of glasses like Dennis Taylor? Chat out of hell@gmail.com. Anything to add?

Emma:

No.

Sam:

You like the Dennis Taylor joke? I did. Yeah. I don't know why nobody else ever did the big glasses.

Emma:

you speak as the man with the smallest glasses. I'm

Sam:

not a professional snooker player,

Emma:

not with those glasses. You won't be.

Sam:

That's it for this series of Chat Out of Hell. Thank you all so much for listening. We've had a great time. I hope you've been enjoying it as well. We'll see you all after our little break when we're all refreshed and ready for more bye

Emma:

bye,