6.3 - My Little Red Book | Man of Steel

Don't tell anyone, but Emma went on holiday and Sam forgot to schedule the publishing date of the episode this week. Bit awks.

BUT not half as awks as what Meat Loaf gets up to this episode! Man of what?

- Why is he like this?

- Why is Jim the way he is?

- Why are Heck's sausages so delicious?

PLUS a pretty flawed way of wedging in Rednex, and some other sundry nonsense.


Keep your comments, reviews and arguments flying in to chatoutofhell@gmail.com, find us on Facebook or Instagram by searching Chat out of Hell and don't forget to use the hashtag #thechickenonesareareallynice

Chat out of Hell is a is a review podcast: all music extracts are used for review/illustrative purposes. To hear the songs in full please buy them from your local record shop or streaming platform. Don't do a piracy. Music extracts on this episode:

My Little Red Book by Pandora's Box from the album Original Sin (1989)
My Little Red Book by Manfred Mann (1965)
My Little Red Book by Love (1966)
Man of Steel by Meat Loaf from the album Couldn't Have Said it Better (2003)

Transcript

Sam 0:00

What is this?

Emma 0:01

This is Chat Out Of Hell, the podcast about the musical works of Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman, officially not sponsored by Heck's sausages.

Sam 0:10

And who is Meat Loaf?

Emma 0:11

Meat Loaf was a singer and actor who probably never tasted Heck's sausages in his lifetime. Who's Jim Steinman?

Sam 0:19

Jim Steinman was a composer and regular musical collaborator with Meat Loaf who definitely never tasted Heck's sausages in his lifetime.

Emma 0:26

And who are we?

Sam 0:27

We are Sam Wilkinson and Emma Crossland, two people who've enjoyed delicious Heck's sausages for their lunch. Heck's sausages. The chicken ones are really nice.

Emma 0:38

Welcome to Chat out of Hell

Sam 0:39

Bow Now. Now.

Emma 0:44

Hey, Sam.

Sam 0:45

Hi, Emma, that's tickled you has it?

Emma 0:47

How are you doing?

Sam 0:48

Bit bit of sausagey fun.

Emma 0:50

Mm, that sounds appalling.

Sam 0:53

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Emma 0:55

Sausagey fun. What would the neighbors

Sam 0:59

All right. Well, you've ruined that. You've ruined Heck's sausages forever.

Emma 1:03

Sorry. Sam has just made us some delicious chicken Heck's sausage sandwiches for lunch. And we're both a bit giddy as a result.

Sam 1:10

That's right. We, we we're on the meat high. With a side of A1 sauce. Was that the first time you'd ever tasted A1

Emma 1:19

That's the first time I've ever tasted it. And I'll be honest with you, I'm not planning on doing it again.

Sam 1:23

So for any new listeners who haven't caught onto why we're interested in Sauce Meat Loaf did advertising for them, and sort of fronted a competition where people could write songs about A1 Sauce order to win a year's supply of A1 Sauce,

Emma 1:39

That single bottle that you have of A1 Sauce is a lifetime supply,

Sam 1:44

me a A1 Sauce about a year and a half ago, and that's maybe the second time it's been tasted. So

Emma 1:50

has it improved with age, like a

Sam 1:52

fine wine

Emma 1:53

or is it aging like milk?

Sam 1:56

I'm gonna lay it down for my descendants to

Emma 1:59

Brush the dust off

Sam 2:00

That's right. Yeah.

Emma 2:03

pour themselves a delicious glass of A1 I bet it's got good legs.

Sam 2:09

Oh,

Emma 2:09

Oh. Swirl it around. And inhale the aroma

Sam 2:13

oh, I'm getting notes of vinegar I'm getting notes of vinegar and disguising the burnt taste of minced beef. Anyway, what's this then? What? Yes,

Emma 2:22

this is a podcast where we bring Meat Loaf and or Jim Steinman songs to the table, review them in punishing detail, and then rate them all at the end.

Sam 2:32

With our patented special Meat Loaf and or Jim Steinman song rating scales. what song have you brought for us to discuss?

Emma 2:39

I have brought Man of Steel from Couldn't Have Said It Better,

Sam 2:43

Man of Steel

Emma 2:44

Yes. What have you brought, Sam?

Sam 2:46

I have My Little Red book from the album, Original Sin by the band Pandora's Box, which was a female fronted rock outfit that Jim Steinman assembled and sat in the back playing the piano

Emma 2:58

like a creepy weirdo

Sam 3:00

Like a creepy weirdo. And we're gonna listen to that one first. So listeners, go away, find 1989's Little Red Book by Pandora's Box. You can find it on your YouTubes or your Spotifys or if you go to Jim Steinman's house, I bet he's got a player piano with the little roll of paper with the holes in. I bet he's got one of those that'll do it. Do any of those things. Listen to Little Red Book by Pandora's Box, and we'll see you all in a few minutes.

Soundtrack 3:28

I wasn't gonna

Sam 3:35

My Little Red Book by Pandora's box, Emma. Thoughts?

Emma 3:40

Quite a lively one, isn't it? Yeah.

Sam 3:42

It's alright.

Emma 3:43

At the beginning.

Sam 3:44

The opening bit

Emma 3:45

that's bonkers. There's this sort of weirdly breathy bit in the opening.

Sam 3:49

There is, yeah. a sort of twenty second overture of of heavy breathing, and people going bad at bad, at bad, at bad. Like the Ghostbusters theme

Emma 3:59

The heavy breathing reminds me of something in series three of Twin Peaks. The appearance of a woman from another dimension. And she has no eyes and she makes a lot of those sorts of noises. Before she eventually turned into Agent Cooper's assistant Diane.

Sam 4:17

Wow.

Emma 4:18

And that's just what it brought back to me. What was that? This is a little bit of What was that? I think.

Sam 4:26

The opening 20 seconds is this weird collapsing, discordant thing of Jim's playing with the left and right channels on his desk, fading everybody in and out on left and right and confusing the crap out of headphone wearers who maybe have been listening to this song just out of their laptop for the past week and didn't realize quite how left and righty it was.

Emma 4:45

Was that a bit of a surprise

Sam 4:46

Yeah, that was exciting. The song itself is not a Jim Steinman, it's written by Burt Bacharach way back in 1965.

Emma 4:55

Which you feel like is a, strange crossover.

Sam 4:58

Jim was a fan. Irritatingly, I haven't been able to find any direct quotes from him that collaborate this. But there's a lot of secondary source. Interviews with him about other things mention this song and say something like, Jim, big Burt Bacharach fan wanted to include this. Yeah. Burt makes eminently singable pop songs with interesting tunes. Jim clearly, wants to get on that bus. He doesn't, but he'd like to. yeah, the song was written in 1965, and it was first recorded that same year by Manfred Mann. Manfred, born Manfred Sepse Lubowitz is a South African born Lithuanian Jewish musician. He moved to the UK in 62 and formed the band Manfred Man, also adopting the moniker Manfred After that first band, Manfred Man broke up, he formed a band called Manfred Man, Chapter Three. Which I respect. Yep. The two albums of Manfred Man, Chapter Three were Manfred Man, Chapter Three, and Manfred Man, Chapter Three, Volume Two.

Emma 5:57

Brilliant.

Sam 6:00

And then after that band broke up, he immediately formed Manfred Man's Earth Band in 71 and still tours to this day.

Emma 6:06

Lovely.

Sam 6:07

Bit of Manfred Man fun for you. Manfred man's version of My Little Red Book, which Emma did not enjoy as

Emma 6:20

the do do, do bit. there's the, the whatever instrument it is that's

Sam 6:24

is that's a Hammond organ, I believe.

Emma 6:26

But also there's a vocal do, do, do there. Yes. That sounds like it's being sung through a comb with some tracing paper over it. I

Sam 6:34

over it. I thought it was Manfred, just with his lips pursed together to go

Emma 6:38

to do the the Johnny

Sam 6:40

to do the Johnny Briggs trombone. It was very much. It was very much like you're pottering around the house, just singing to yourself while you do the washing up.

Emma 6:55

the sort, nothing singing.

Sam 6:59

I think it's a good song. Do you think it's a nice song? right. I think the the storyline's quite fun. As soon as you left, I got out my little red book to find some other girls, and all I did was cry about you to them. it's nice

Emma 7:11

It's also terrible dating advice. What

Sam 7:14

What if you get broken up with, go with everybody else in the world

Emma 7:18

and then cry about, your ex with them?

Sam 7:20

It's

Emma 7:20

not an attractive trait.

Sam 7:22

Sorry. Sorry. Manfred slash Bert slash Jim slash the members of Love.

Emma 7:28

Well indeed.

Sam 7:29

The band Love recorded it in 66. Love were a band formed in LA in 1965. They definitely got Little Red Book up to a higher position in the charts. And that's because their version is much better It's a bit more punchy, it's one of the standout songs from the Garage Rock era. The instruments are much higher in the mix. Here's a comment from their biographer. He highlights the recording practices used on the track as adding to its appeal, particularly the instruments being mixed high and loud. It's been credited to the mixing. Using the signature Electra approach, Electra was their label which involved very close microphone placement to make the instrument sound bigger.

Emma 8:16

Hmm.

Sam 8:17

technical sciencey. I can see why young Jim liked that though. Oh, yeah. I have no evidence whatsoever as to whether he listened to both versions or just this one or what, but I think the idea of taking an easy listening song and transforming it into a. Yeah, Wikipedia describes it as proto punk. Yeah. Yeah, like punching it up. So Jim's done this already on Pandora's Box with Requiem Metal. Yeah.

Emma 8:43

Yeah.

Sam 8:43

Where he took Verde's Requiem and chopped it up a little bit. I think it's fair to say he succeeds more with Little

Emma 8:53

Red Yes. Yes. I would

Sam 8:55

The original song is quite brief. Manfred Man was two minutes 11. Love was two minutes 30. So surely Jim just doing a straight cover version of this song would clock in at under three minutes, you might say

Emma 9:08

You'd think.

Sam 9:08

No, four minutes. 11, Emma,

Emma 9:11

course.

Sam 9:11

four minutes Nearly double the length of the other two versions. Interestingly, four minutes 11 is 57 seconds longer than Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex. And that is interesting 'cause if you compare that 57 seconds with the number of sales in Austria, that Cotton Eye Joe got, which was 35,000, divide that 35,000 by a thousand and then subtract the 35 from the 57 you get 22. Which is particularly good 'cause it's not only the position that Cotton Eye Joe got in the Icelandic charts, but it's also the number of times that the eponymous rogue is mentioned in the song. Isn't that fascinating?

Emma 9:48

Sorry, I nodded off there.

Sam 9:50

You mean your mind was blown there, Emma.

Emma 9:52

my mind was blown.

Sam 9:54

Yeah. It's good that, wannit? It's good.

Emma 9:59

You had to throw in some weird maths fact. It

Sam 10:02

good maths. Fact. Thank you. Thank Do you wanna do a quiz? We are fans of Pandora's Box. Yes. Because it is 50%. Great. 50%. Absolute batshit stupid. And it's probably the project that Jim has made up the most mythology around. He makes of all sorts of lies about Pandora's Box. One of the four singers was credited as Deliria Wild, which is a pseudonym for someone. And you might remember this one, Jim told all the press that Deliria Wilde was kicked out of a nunnery

Emma 10:36

Yep. something

Sam 10:36

that was so awful that I can't describe it. So with that in mind, Emma, which of these is not a real quote from Jim about the Pandora's Box story? A. They've even done surveys that have proved that after listening to one of my songs people don't take note of the adverts afterwards because they're too involved in the song.

Emma 11:01

That's definitely something Jim said.

Sam 11:03

Is it B? Did he say of most heavy metal girl bands that they look like they've got ferret in their trousers?

Emma 11:09

He definitely said that.

Sam 11:11

C, did he claim that the band had 21-year-old identical twin guitarists who looked 17, who forgot their amps when they came to record?

Emma 11:22

That's the one I believe the least. I that he said the thing about ferrets, 'cause I've read that myself somewhere.

Sam 11:28

Dammit.

Emma 11:30

So I think C is what he didn't say.

Sam 11:33

Okay. So he did claim that the band had 21-year-old twin guitarists who looked 17. And he did say that some guitarists forgot their amps. But they weren't the guitarists in Pandora's Box. It's a Jim quote from something else, Emma. Ah, You've scored the points. This is a quote from Jim about the time he spent a few months trying to mix an album with Def Leppard before trying to get fired 'cause he couldn't take it anymore.

Emma 12:00

Of course, of course.

Sam 12:02

And there are lots of stories that have circulated about Jim working with Def Leppard, almost all of which he definitely originated. But I think we've maybe mentioned this as well before, he spent a couple of working with them and being absolutely micromanaged by their manager to the extent that he just waited until he got fired for wanting to make a record. I don't have the full quote here, but some of it's really sad. Like the drummer in Def Leppard came up to him early on and said, "can I be on this record?" And he was like, well, yeah, we're gonna have drums. But then it turned out that all the previous Def Leppard records had just had a drum machine and their manager hadn't

Emma 12:46

Oh God.

Sam 12:46

the drummer play.

Emma 12:48

Brutal.

Sam 12:49

So sad. Here are some of the stories about Jim working with Def Leppard. I supposedly took a taxi to Paris and then that became a chartered plane to Paris to my favorite restaurant and then back again and charged it to Def Leppard. I like the idea of me in this grand restaurant going 'charge this to Def Leppard.' Then there was the reupholstering of the studio and its redecoration. Apparently I offended quite a few people in Holland. 'cause another variation of the tale is that I decided the Dutch had no taste and ordered the hotel where I was staying to redecorate the lobby, my room, and the entire floor it was on. "When I arrived, Leppard had no guitar amps and they didn't know where to get them. They look at you like these little puppies. Oh, what are we gonna do? We thought you'd have them. In Holland? If I was in New York, maybe. Anyway, we had every heavy metal band in Holland, bring down their amps, and every amp we tried, we'd play a chord and I'd say, what did you guys think of that? And they'd go, 'it sounds a bit squawky hard and edgy. It's not creamy enough. What do you think?' And I'd say, 'I don't think it's great, but I think we can start with it. Build on it, layer it.' 'We can't. It's too squawky.' And we went through hundreds of amps." They sound like a nightmare.

Emma 14:06

It's not creamy enough.

Sam 14:08

There is another quote from when he worked with Def Leppard when they were in Dublin. Come on up, Maisie Yeah. They also were working in, I think they were in Dublin before they went to Holland. One of the first conversations I had with them was in Dublin during pre-production. I was so excited to be in Dublin and I said, 'this is great for me. I'm finally in the land of James Joyce and Yates. These guys are idols of mine.' You guys feel that at all? And they said, 'no, we haven't had chance to meet any musicians.'"

Emma 14:33

Oh, bless them. Bless their stupid little socks.

Sam 14:39

Jim. Would've absolutely loathed this.

Emma 14:41

Yes.

Sam 14:42

Do you wanna hear what the people of the internet have to say,

Emma 14:44

Emma? Oh, yes, please.

Sam 14:45

this is from RP Biohazard.

Emma 14:48

Nice

Sam 14:49

Song has been stuck in my head for 30 years. Please send help." Meanwhile, at BJT gaming had an opposite view. "This is some eighties crack head energy. If only we got more of, It's All Coming Back to Me Now. And less of this. Maybe the album wouldn't have tanked."

Emma 15:06

Ooh, I mean, yes.

Sam 15:08

That's My Little Red Book, Emma.

Emma 15:10

Fantastic.

Sam 15:10

Shall we rate this song?

Emma 15:11

I think we

Sam 15:12

Okay. This was a band led by Jim Steinman performing this song. So that means we rate it on our Jim Steinman scale, which runs from Jim Steinman at the very top for his finest works. Down to Jim Fineman for the medium All the way down to Jim Declineman. For when he wrote stuff that should have got him canceled. Emma, what's this?

Emma 15:32

Fineman, a Jim Fineman.

Sam 15:33

It's a Jim Fineman, isn't it? It's nice. It's fun, it's silly, it's light,

Emma 15:36

but it's nothing special.

Sam 15:37

Yep. But Jim didn't write this song. And that means we're gonna have to rate this again using our Burt Bacherach song Rating Scale.

Emma 15:46

I had a feeling that this was on its way.

Sam 15:49

So Emma, is this a Burt Bacherach, a Burt I Can't Put My Finger on it, But Something's Holding It Bacherach or A Bert I Feel Like My Ears Are Under Attackarach?

Emma 16:01

You're really pleased with that, aren't you? Yeah,

Sam 16:03

I like it. Just to give you a little peek behind the curtain, I also considered Burt Bacherachandruin Hours of

Emma 16:10

fun. Again, it's in the middle, isn't

Sam 16:14

it? It's, it's a Burt I Can't Put My Finger on it, But Something's Holding It Backarach this is a, Burt I Can't Put My Finger On It, But something's Holding It Backarach Yeah. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. Emma, what song have you brought

Emma 16:32

I have brought Man of Steel, which was a single from the Couldn't Have Said It Better album from 2003. I always recommend you watch the videos because they're usually worth talking about. And this one is Man of Steel from the Couldn't Have Said It Better album from 2003. I very much enjoyed watching your face while you watched that, Sam.

Sam 17:03

We're sure that was an official video, are we?

Emma 17:05

Well, this is something I'm gonna come on to. Okay. Should we talk about the song first? Um,

Sam 17:10

I'd love to, but I couldn't hear it over the sound of the video. Yeah, the song's quite good.

Emma 17:16

So it's another one written by James Michael and Nikki Sixx. 'Cause they did a few for this

Sam 17:22

Yeah, they do quite a good Jim Steinman impression. I did enjoy the Jim technique of using a cliche till it

Emma 17:28

Yes.

Sam 17:29

As strong as I am. Why can't I break your heart?

Emma 17:31

Yeah,

Sam 17:31

That's a nice style line.

Emma 17:33

Jim style line. It was a single it was released in November, 2003, Uhhuh. And it did trouble the charts ever so slightly. got to number 21 in the UK charts. That's not awful, is it? That's not awful. you looked surprised when a woman started singing.

Sam 17:51

Yeah. About three minutes into the song. A lady joined in.

Emma 17:54

this is the single version of the song. Okay. The album version. You hear the lady before that. Right at the beginning, she does a breathy little monologue. Would you like to hear that?

Sam 18:04

Read. It in your breathiest voice then, Emma.

Emma 18:06

Touch me. I'm so afraid to draw you close. Hold me. Before my hands fall away. I'll suffocate if I can't breathe you in and hold you there forever. Okay. So, so far, so sexy.

Sam 18:23

Uhhuh. Oh, it continues.

Emma 18:25

No, no, no. that's the end of it. I just thought. So that monologue and the singing were recorded by Pearl Loaf's adopted daughter.

Sam 18:35

Oh, no, no. What the fuck,

Emma 18:42

creepy.

Sam 18:43

What the fuck, Meat Loaf? Didn't you know any other women?

Emma 18:47

I mean by this point she was a member of the Neverland Express doing tours and stuff So she, she did work with them by that point. She joined the Neverland Express as a touring member in the mid nineties Uhhuh. But you'd think that there would've been somebody else? Well,

Sam 19:05

Well, I'm worried about what else she performed with Meat Loaf.

Emma 19:09

I dread to think,

Sam 19:11

was she the only female member of the Neverland Express? I'm

Emma 19:14

not. very

Sam 19:15

scared that she had to sing Paradise by the Dashboard Light every night

Emma 19:18

that

Sam 19:18

her dad. Yeah.

Emma 19:20

Pearl Aday was also backing singer for Mötley Crüe Mötley Crüe And I think we've already mentioned that she's married to Anthrax guitarist, Scott Ian. She's released solo bits and pieces. I have had a bit of a listen to some of them. Only very briefly. Yeah. I'd like to delve into them a bit more 'cause Okay. I think she's she's quite an interesting singer. She's definitely very rock.

Sam 19:41

Ra ba da ba da ba da ba but better.

Emma 19:44

Yeah. So occasionally we've had segments on this show, and I think we should like formalize this. The Meat Loaf non-story section where he tells something that doesn't need telling It's a Meat Loaf meander,

Sam 20:01

isn't it? Meat

Emma 20:04

Loaf so this is speaking with Paul Stenning upon the album's release. Meat Loaf explained the background behind the song saying my daughter Pearl was out on tour with Motley Crue and people with who, sorry. My daughter Pearl was out on tour with Mötley Crüe.

Sam 20:22

Thank you. That's what Meat Loaf would've said. He respected the umlaut.

Emma 20:26

He does respect the umlaut. "My daughter was out on tour with Mötley Crüe and people said to me, you let your daughter on tour with Mötley Crüe I said, she's a big girl, 26 at the time. She can make up her own mind. But I did scare Nikki Sixx when I went to see the show. I approached him in my best bad guy movie role after he'd just come off stage. I said, let's go into this other room. cause me and you are gonna talk about what you have my daughter wearing. Right now. He went white, like an English suntan. "He started stuttering at me trying to explain. She picked it out and he had nothing to do with it. And then I just grinned at him. He kept saying, Pearl should do a duet with me. He decided as a surprise, he called James Michael, who was writing already for this record. He'd also worked with Nikki on the last Mötley Crüe record and said, let's write a song for Pearl and her dad to sing together. That was Man of Steel, and they sent it to me and everybody got really mad at me because I wouldn't listen to it for nine or 10 weeks. I didn't know what the album was going to be. "I was waiting on James Michael to give me the first piece. After so many discussions, I wanted to hear where it was going." End of anecdote.

Sam 21:45

Sorry, I I

Emma 21:46

I know. I was reading it and I lost my way.

Sam 21:50

The point of that anecdote was that they wrote a song for him and he didn't listen to it for a little while?

Emma 21:55

But also he'd been to see Mötley Crüe.

Sam 21:58

And he went to see Mötley Crüe. his best bad guy movie role. Which at this point I'm fairly certain, was that Sex Vampire, They wrote this song for a father to sing with his daughter.

Emma 22:12

So creepy, Creepy Crüe That aside, let's talk about the video, the

Sam 22:18

for me.

Emma 22:19

can you, just briefly describe what we seen?

Sam 22:21

Yeah. So, it's entirely animated. It's animated in a sort of 1980s anime style, I would say. Yeah, it's got the feel of like an eighties cartoon where the budget wasn't good enough for 25 frames a second. Yeah. So it's maybe seven or eight. There's a lot of frame jumps. It, it really did take me back to something like Battle of the Planets, or it

Emma 22:41

it felt to me like that kind of vibe, but done in an early two thousands Flash.

Sam 22:46

Yes. Yes. They did have a flash Feel to it. The story of it is there's a, a big muscly Conan the barbarian type guy. Yeah. Going on magical adventures, trying to rescue the girl slash break her heart slash whatever,

Emma 22:59

a weird bat monster. Yeah. I have tried my hardest to find out about this video. Okay. 'cause on the listing that I sent you, it says official video. Yeah. But it doesn't feel official. The first time I saw it, I was transported back in time to the early two thousands. Uhhuh when I was a student. Yes. And I accidentally had a bit of a dalliance with a 3D animation student. And I had to show enthusiasm at the animations that he was showing me Aw. When I went back to his place.

Sam 23:31

But also do our partners feign enthusiasm when we're talking about Meat Loaf to them. Just saying,

Emma 23:38

Obviously. got no Ed doesn't even fame enthusiasm. He, so over this

Sam 23:45

sighs. Sorry. I've ruined your flow there. You had to feign enthusiasm after, a 3D animation student's...

Emma 23:52

Yeah. And it had all the sort of vibes of this because it was just bit, bit shit. Technically probably all right for a student, but ultimately. Bit shit. So I've been trying to find out if this is the real deal. I can't find any solid information. I did find an image of the single artwork that looks quite a lot like, okay, this, so the The same art style.

Sam 24:19

I've just found a, a copy of the single on eBay.

Emma 24:22

Do you see what I mean?

Sam 24:22

Did see that. And yeah, I, that is the same art style, so I'd assume this is an official video.

Emma 24:26

But what a departure from literally everything else.

Sam 24:30

But I quite liked it.

Emma 24:33

It's fun.

Sam 24:33

It's fun. And it's very early two thousands. Yeah. This was a time when I didn't have MTV on any of my satellite channels, but if I had done that would've definitely come on, on rotation once a day or something. And we'd've been like, oh, come the cartoon fucking barbarian wave his sword around

Emma 24:50

the strange bat monster.

Sam 24:52

The strange bat monster. Jim Steinman. Yeah. Yeah.

Emma 24:56

Metaphors. Metaphors. The hero bursts through a door. And there's some kind of flame action going on behind him, in that animation sort of way. He is, of course on a motorbike. He presses a button and his bike helmet explodes, revealing a longhaired man with glowing yellow eyes. This absolutely does not suit the song at all. He pulls up at the edge of a cliff, we get to see all the way down the jagged drop. He then jumps his bike down it riding to the inevitable jump. A rock formation like this has never existed in nature. he flies through the air on his bike and we see the silhouettes of a sexy woman and a muscular man who looked like they've had a bit of a row. He's obviously thinking about a bust up with his missus. Silly boy. We know from Bat out of Hell that if you think too much about a woman while riding your motorbike, then you end up falling off it, which is exactly what he And when he looks up, he sees a bat monster. And a sexy ice woman. He's got a sword now and she's got a heart on her chest where the lyric, why can't I break your heart plays. Ooh.

Sam 26:02

Yeah, I enjoyed the, why can't I break your heart? 'Cause over that lyric we had this footage of him hitting a heart pendant that's on her chest.

Emma 26:10

Yeah. And breaking his sword.

Sam 26:11

And breaking his sword. But also, if he had succeeded, he would've just murdered her.

Emma 26:16

Yeah. Some rubbish animation stuff happens like bad TV interference from the eighties. Ice lady's eyes start to do lightning and she freezes the man, but he breaks outta the ice with his muscles and jumps into the sky or is possibly raised on a column of ice. It's hard to tell.

Sam 26:33

This is the bit where I was thinking of He-Man. Yeah,

Emma 26:36

Big He-Man vibes.

Sam 26:37

Like I, should have been able to go out and buy the Meat Loaf barbarian action figure.

Emma 26:41

yes. He's imprisoned in ice again and the bat monster flies up in what has to be some of the most awkward animation I have ever seen. The bat monster carries the frozen man off and then throws him at the ground where he breaks through a layer of ice He then stabs his broken sword into the ground, which cracks and throws light out. This gives him power and he smashes back up through the ice on the lake. We see another bit of terrible animation with some sort of super shit explosion that throws him through the sky where he smashes into the bat monster. And that goes on forever. Some other bits that are too nonsensical to describe happen and then the man and the bat monster crash to the ground. And then the man emerges from the smoke of the crash holding a woman. They're now in silhouette with the explosion still somehow happening behind them. They snog. The end.

Sam 27:33

Aw. How romantic.

Emma 27:36

Beautiful.

Sam 27:37

suppose.

Emma 27:38

all while his daughter is singing with him. Do you wanna hear what the people of the internet had to say?

Sam 27:46

Probably, but I'm a little worried they've got something horrible to say, Emma.

Emma 27:50

They have nothing to say.

Sam 27:51

Oh, 'Cause comments are turned off or just 'cause all the comments are quite dull

Emma 27:55

there's very few comments at all on anything that I could find. I guess this is just another one that kind of drifted by.

Sam 28:03

Yeah. It's... it isn't rubbish, is it?

Emma 28:07

No,

Sam 28:08

and it is... obviously, it's been utterly tarnished now by the revelation that that's Pearl singing along with him. But before I knew that, I was quite happy thinking this is a fun attempt to replicate the Steinman sound.

Emma 28:22

Now it's ruined. I've ruined it forever now

Sam 28:24

been ruined forever. Because Meat Loaf doesn't know any women. Would you like to rate the song then, Emma? I

Emma 28:32

I think we should probably rate the

Sam 28:34

Well, Emma, this is a song that Meat Loaf sang without the involvement of Jim Steinman, so that means we use our patented, copyrighted, homegrown, baked, fermented,

Emma 28:47

Ribbed for her pleasure?

Sam 28:48

No, stop thinking of Pearl Aday. We use our Meat Loaf songwriting scale, which runs from Lee Aday at the top to Michael Lee Okay in the middle. All the way down to Michael Lee No Way. Emma, what's this?

Emma 29:07

What is this?

Sam 29:08

Um,

Emma 29:09

because it's been tarnished.

Sam 29:11

Yeah. Oh, no. well, it's definitely not, an Aday I think.

Emma 29:15

No. It's not an Aday.

Sam 29:17

Shall we run through some of the No Ways to see if that prompts. Where the Rubber Meets the Road.

Emma 29:23

Creepy.

Sam 29:24

Fun tune. Creepy song.

Emma 29:26

Yes.

Sam 29:27

Rock and Roll Mercenaries. Fun tune dull as

Emma 29:30

balls

Sam 29:31

song. Los Angeloser. Fun tune. Creepy song. Yeah. Possibly not even a fun tune. No. Just not all around bad. 45 Seconds of Ecstasy.

Emma 29:41

Not even Meat Loaf.

Sam 29:44

true. Stand in the Storm Masculine.

Emma 29:50

See, as a

Sam 29:52

as a song, it's definitely better than all of those.

Emma 29:55

Yeah. It's, it's an okay, isn't it?

Sam 29:56

Yes. And I'm gonna I'm, I'm maybe gonna get myself cancelled here, Emma, but I'm fairly certain if we went around rating songs No Way just 'cause they were a bit creepy. This podcast wouldn't get off the ground. What i'm saying is we can't, I'm positive there's a lot more creepiness in some of these songs that we even knew about.

Emma 30:28

Is it Okay? Let's just say it's an okay and be done with it, shall we? Is that

Sam 30:33

I

Emma 30:33

getting out?

Sam 30:34

it. Well

Emma 30:35

I like the song. Before I found out that it was Pearl singing it, I thought it was pretty good.

Sam 30:43

by a technical victory Meat Loaf has avoided a no way on this one. And we're gonna rate this a Michael Lee Okay. Michael Lee Okay. But come on. Come on mate. Come

Emma 30:59

on. Find more women.

Sam 31:01

Just, just ring up any recording studio and ask for a session musician. They'll know some.

Emma 31:09

the thing is, it's such a nice idea this, this sort of idea of a dad and

Sam 31:13

Yeah. song together. They didn't have to do a sexo

Emma 31:15

It's just why is it a sexy song?

Sam 31:18

So,

Emma 31:19

it could have been so nice.

Sam 31:25

So that was our songs this episode.

Emma 31:27

It was,

Sam 31:28

but what did you think of them? Did you agree with our ratings? Do you have anything to add on the whole, factor? Let us know who chat out of hell@gmail.com where some of other people have sent emails lately that we keep forgetting to read. So let's go through our, let's shall we go through our mail bag, Emma?

Emma 31:44

Let's go through the mailbag.

Sam 31:46

So here's one Hello. Chat out of hell. This is about listeners might remember. We we, I went on a rant about aspect ratios in films during our Spice World episode and complaining about the film festival showing of an American Werewolf in London I went that screwed up "I remember Sam's rant about the aspect ratios of the showing of Werewolf in London at the Leeds Film Festival, and it did nearly result in not having another date. Luckily, I realize that nerdy rants about aspect ratios are part of Sam's

Emma 32:23

It's a good job that Kat could see beyond.

Sam 32:27

There's not. There's no beyond. It wasn't a nerdy rant. I paid to see a film and I didn't get the product that I'd paid for.

Emma 32:39

I think I might be Team Kat on this one.

Sam 32:44

A film festival. Thank you, darling. It's Broccoli and salmon for tea. Is that all right? Here's another one from Stephanie. Who isn't somebody that we know personally, so it's fine. "Hi guys. If you're needing another potential song in the future that will give you a particular type of incredulity, may I suggest Like a Rose from Hang Cool Teddy Bear. Despite having Jack Black on it, who I love in other context, this is such an over the top misogynist song that it is my very least favourite Meat Loaf of all time. And I

Emma 33:23

And I say this

Sam 33:23

as a massive Meat Loaf fan who can very much be a Meat Loaf apologist in so many other contexts.

Emma 33:29

What a brilliant email

Sam 33:31

Thank you, Stephanie. I, Stephanie has set us up with some, Stephanie's, the one who referred us to California isn't Big Enough, Which we covered a while ago. So I trust Stephanie's judgment on what songs we're gonna find horrific but entertaining. we'll stick that one in the list. And if you've got a song to recommend to us, please do drop us a line chatoutofhell@gmail.com. A song sung by Meat Loaf or Jim Steinman or written by Jim for somebody else. If you'd like a message, read out to potentially tens of people who fall under the Venn diagram of Meat Loaf slash Jim Steinman fans slash people who will listen to this. Then go ahead and drop us a line. Chat out of hell@gmail.com. Try out a Heck's sausage.

Emma 34:18

Delicious.

Sam 34:18

It your February resolution to eat Heck's Give us five stars on your podcast listening app of choice. It all really helps. Do recommend us to your friends and family in some interesting way. Why not take them paintballing and then after you've shot them with a paintball shout, okay, go back to the place where you have to wait when you've been shot and listen to chat out of hell. Share our posts on the socials. What posts on the socials. Sometimes I do remember to do them, so take a look at our Instagram chat Out of hell. Something. And Facebook. I'm so good at this. I'm good at this,

Emma 34:57

well.

Sam 34:57

Doing well. Did you see Meat Loaf on Games Master asking the disembodied cyborg head of famous astronomer Patrick Moore for help on Sonic the Hedgehog. For young people and Americans. They'll think I've just made up some bullshit. But that was a real thing that happened. It was on an oil rig.

Emma 35:13

It was,

Sam 35:13

What? Yeah.

Emma 35:14

Such a weird show. that

Sam 35:16

us know. chatoutofhell@gmail.com. Or you can use that email address to let us know about your opinions of our songs for next time. Emma, what are they gonna be?

Emma 35:23

I'm going to bring A Kiss is a Terrible Thing to Waste from the Greatest Hits album and also off of Whistle Down the

Sam 35:32

ooh. It's on two things I'm gonna bring Left in the Dark, which was written by Jim Steinman and recorded not only by him on his solo album, but also by Meat Loaf and by Barbara Streisand. takes on one song. How exciting. Any other business, Emma, me, also, no other business from me. So let's bring this meeting to a close and we'll see you all again in two more weeks' time for another Chat out of Hell. Bye

Emma 35:58

bye.

Sam 36:00

Bow Now. Now, now.

Emma 36:02

Ding.