Shut Up And Choose - STOP DIETING. START CHOOSING.

You’re Not Just Carrying Extra Weight — You’re Paying for It Every Day

• Jonathan Ressler • Episode 228

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The extra 25 pounds you call “no big deal” might be costing you far more than you realize. We get brutally honest about how weight can quietly shrink your world—tugging at your confidence, narrowing your relationships, draining your energy, and numbing your joy—long before it shows up on a medical bill. No scare tactics, no gimmicks, just a clear path out: one small, smart choice at a time that rebuilds integrity and self-trust.

We share the mindset shift that changed everything: confidence doesn’t come from a number on a scale; it comes from keeping promises to yourself. That pivot—from diets and punishment to integrity and presence—reframes food, movement, and daily routines as aligned choices instead of battles. You’ll hear real talk on avoidance, how “fine” becomes a cage, and why saying yes to the photo, the dinner, or the pool is not vanity; it’s practice for living fully again.

If you’ve been shielding yourself with humor, busyness, or “I’ll start Monday,” this conversation offers a way through: hydrate before coffee, walk for ten minutes, choose real food once today, and watch your energy compound. As you show up for yourself, relationships warm, focus returns, and joy stops being a future prize and becomes the fuel that makes momentum stick. No pills, no perfection—just daily decisions that align with who you say you are.

Ready to reclaim your time, energy, and confidence without another rigid plan? Listen now, then subscribe, share with a friend who needs the push, and leave a quick review so more people can choose better and live lighter.

Stop Dieting. Start Choosing.


I’m Jonathan Ressler, Transformation Guide and author of Shut Up and Choose. I lost 140 pounds and built a movement the diet industry hopes you never find. No starvation. No obsession. No gym marathons. Real transformation starts when you stop outsourcing discipline and start leading yourself.

The truth is simple: weight loss isn’t about willpower—it’s about integrity. Every time you keep a promise to yourself, you rebuild confidence. Every smart choice strengthens self-trust. That’s the foundation of lasting change. My mission is to help busy, high-performing people take back control of their health, energy, and mindset—without diets, shots, or shame.

Each episode of the Shut Up and Choose Podcast cuts through the noise with real talk, proven strategies, and small, smart steps that actually last. No gimmicks. No hype. Just truth that works in real life.

Get free weekly tips at JonathanRessler.com/weekly-tips.
Grab my book Shut Up and Choose on Amazon.
Follow me on Instagram @JonathanResslerFatLoss.
Leave a review—it helps real people find real answers.
Connect directly: Jonathan.Ressler@gmail.com
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Announcer:

If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the truth, is offended by the word fuck and about 37 uses of it in different forms, gets ass hurt when you hear someone speak the absolute real and raw truth, you should leave. Like right now. This is Shulp and Shoes. The podcast where we cut through the shit and get real about weight loss, life, and everything in between, we get into the nitty-gritty of making small, smart choices that add up to big results. From what's on your plate and how you approach life's challenges, we'll explore how the simple act of choosing differently can transform your health, your mindset, and your entire freaking life. So, if you're ready to cut through the bullshit and start making some real changes, then buckle up and shut it up. Because we're about to choose our way to a healthier, happier life. This is Shuluffin Choose. Let's do this. Now your host, Jonathan Russler.

Jonathan Ressler:

Hey, welcome back to Shun Up and Choose the podcast. Influencing Instagram, all those idiots are throwing you away, telling you how to lose weight, telling you all these different things when they haven't lost an ounce on their own. So, you've probably heard me talk about how big pharma and the diet industry profit from keeping you stuck. But today I want to talk about something I want to get real and something even more personal. Because if you're just listening, sitting a thing, it's just 25 pounds, it's not a big deal. This episode is definitely for you. Like I said, you might think that being 25 pounds overweight isn't a big deal. You can still work, you still socialize, you still function. You tell yourself, it's just a few extra pounds. But here's the truth those 25 pounds are costing you more than you realize. And I'm not talking about medical bills or doctor visits or even your cholesterol numbers. I'm talking about what it quietly is stealing from your life. Because the real cost of being overweight doesn't show up on a scale. It shows up in the mirror when you avoid your own reflection. It shows up when you tug at your shirt to hide your stomach before walking into a room. It shows up when you cancel plants because you don't like how you look at anything you own. It's the hesitation, the self-doubt, the quiet shrinking of your own life. Those 25 pounds is a difference between saying yes to an invitation and making an excuse. Between showing up confidently in a photo and hiding behind the group, between living boldly and merely existing. You might still be functioning, but you're not thriving. Let's be clear. This isn't about shame. This isn't about hating your body. Because when you understand the real cost, you realize that weight isn't just physical. It's emotional, it's mental, it's spiritual. It's the heaviness that you carry into every conversation, every interaction, every moment where you hold yourself back. Being overweight costs you connection to yourself and to others. You smile less, you flirt less, you withdraw a little, you stop taking up space. Not because anyone told you you had to, but because somewhere along the way you decided you didn't deserve to. And that decision, that's the most expensive one of all. The weight also costs you your energy. Not just the kind you used to climb stairs or chase your kids around, the kind that fuels your drive and your creativity, your honestly, your presence. You wake up tired, you move slower, you lose the spark that used to make you feel alive. And then one day you realize you're living a smaller version of your life because you settled for feeling fine. I know I sure as hell did, but I was 150 pounds overweight. But even if you're 25 pounds overweight, being fine, that's not living. Fine is surviving. This episode isn't about guilt, it's about choice. Because the same way you choose to settle, you can choose to rise. You can choose to stop numbing, to stop hiding, and stop pretending it's, you know, hey, it's not that bad. The truth is every pound you carry that doesn't belong to you represents a decision you've been avoiding. And if you can choose to stay stuck, you can choose to change. This is about taking your life back, one small, smart choice at a time. Not through diet, not through willpower, not through punishment, not through restriction, through choosing differently. Because real transformation doesn't start on the scale, it starts in your mind. So those 25 pounds or being overweight is the subtle thief of confidence. Confidence doesn't vanish all at once, it slips away quietly. One moment, one missed opportunity, one self-criticism at a time. You don't wake up one day and say, I feel like shit about myself. It happens slowly. You stop wearing the clothes you love because they're a little tight. You dodge cameras, or worse, you take the picture and then zoom in on every angle you hate. You start to live your life managing perception, hoping that no one else notices what you can't stop noticing. That's what those 25 pounds do. They don't just sit on your body, they sit on your confidence. They whisper in your ear at the exact moment you need courage. They tell you to stay quiet when you want to speak up. They tell you to blend in when you were meant to stand out. And that's it's not vanity, it's not ego. It's the very human need to feel like the best version of yourself, to walk into a room without your mind calculating how you look from behind. To smile in a photo without thinking about your chin or your many chins. It's to move through the world without feeling like you need to apologize for taking up space. And the irony of all that is most people don't even notice. The judgment isn't coming from them, it's coming from you. You've become your own worst critic, and those 25 extra pounds are the weapon you use against yourself. But here's the truth confidence doesn't come from how much you weigh, it comes from the choices you make that align with who you say you are. When you say I want to feel good again, and you actually start doing something about it, that's confidence. When you choose real food over mindless comfort, when you choose to move, even for 10 minutes, when you choose to be honest with yourself instead of hiding behind I'll start Monday, that's confidence. That's the stuff that rebuilds you. See, people think losing weight is about food or workouts, but it's not. It's about integrity. Keeping the promises you make to yourself. When you stop keeping those promises, you stop trusting yourself. And when you stop trusting yourself, you lose confidence. Not because of the weight itself, but because of the broken word behind it. Confidence is the quiet certainty you're doing what you said you'd do, that you're in motion, not denial. Every time you follow through, every time you choose differently, you strengthen that muscle. So let me tell you something personal. When I was 140 pounds heavier, I didn't just feel physically heavy, I felt emotionally small. I'd walk into a room and immediately scan for who looked better than me, which was pretty much everybody. Granted, I probably didn't even realize it at the time, but I did it. I cracked jokes about my size before anybody else could, just to beat them to it. I was loud, but inside I was hiding. I had built an entire personality around covering up my insecurity. But the real turning point wasn't when I started losing weight. It was when I started keeping promises to myself again. I stopped making excuses, I stopped waiting for motivation, I just started choosing small, smart choices over and over again. And that's when everything shifted. The weight didn't define me anymore. My choices did. And those choices started rebuilding the confidence I'd lost, and they started rebuilding it one day at a time. So if you're listening right now, thinking, I lost myself somewhere along the way, no, you haven't. You've just buried your confidence under a pile of broken promises and self-doubt. It's still there, just waiting for you to dig it out. So start small, choose one thing today that proves you still mean what you say. Drink the water, skip the mind of the stack, go for a walk. Not because you're punishing yourself, but because you're reminding yourself that you still can. Confidence doesn't return when the number on the scale changes. It returns the moment you start showing up for yourself again. That's what the diet industry won't tell you. They sell you plans and products and powders, but what they can't package is personal integrity. You can't buy confidence, you build it, choice by choice. And the best part, it's not reserved for people with perfect bodies or endless discipline. It's available to anyone willing to stop lying to themselves and start choosing better. Because confidence isn't about being perfect, it's about being honest. So now let's talk about the part nobody wants to admit how being overweight changes your relationships. Not just romantic ones, but all of them. Because the truth is, when you don't feel good in your own body, it doesn't just stay inside your head. It leaks into how you show up for the people around you. You start holding back physically, emotionally, and you're just less affectionate. You dodge intimacy, you avoid the mirror, then slowly avoid the person sharing the space with you. You stop making eye contact, you start sleeping with a t-shirt on, you convince yourself your partner doesn't notice, but they do. They might not notice the weight, but they notice the distance. See, it's never really about the pounds, it's about what those pounds represent. The quiet self-rejection that builds up over time. You can't fully give love when you're withholding it from yourself. You can't be fully present when every interaction is filtered through your own insecurity. When you're overweight, you start protecting yourself emotionally the same way your body protects itself physically by building a layer, a barrier of sorts, something between you and the world. And it's not just in your romantic life, it's in your friendships, your family, even your professional connections. You laugh, but not too loud. You join the conversation, but not too long. You become the version of yourself that feels safe, not the one that feels real. And the saddest part, most people in your life have no idea what's actually happening. They just feel you fading. They sense something's off that you're there, but not really there. You tell yourself you're tired, you tell yourself you're busy, but deep down you know you're disconnected, not from them, but from yourself. I remember when I was at my heaviest, I thought I was protecting myself by being funny. I made jokes about my size, I'd played the role of the self-aware guy, the one who didn't take it too seriously. But humor was just armor. It was a way to deflect attention, to stay in control of the narrative. But the truth is, I was lonely, even in a crowded room. I had people around me, but I wasn't really letting anyone in because how could I when I didn't even like the person behind the mask? That's the hidden cost of being overweight that no one talks about. It's not just health, it's about connection. It's about how many hugs you cut short because you feel uncomfortable in your skin. It's how many moments you miss because you're too busy thinking about how you look instead of being in the moment. Love doesn't disappear when you gain weight, but how you receive it changes. You stop believing compliments. You know how many times people say, Oh, you look good. And I was like, You're so full of shit. You brush off that affection, you question sincerity, you become suspicious of kindness because deep down you stop being kind yourself. And that creates distance, not because the other person wants it, but because you do. It's safer that way, safer than being seen, safer than being vulnerable. But here's what I've learned love thrives in truth, not protection. The moment you stop hiding, the moment you start being honest, not just with your partner, but with yourself, connection floods back in. And it doesn't happen when you lose the weight. It happens when you start choosing yourself again. When you start taking care of your body, not just because you hate it, but because you're finally ready to stop abandoning it. When you begin to show up differently with energy and presence, with confidence, everything around you shifts. Your partner feels it, your kids feel it, your friends feel it. People respond differently when you start respecting yourself. The real transformation isn't in the reflection, it's in the relationships that heal when you do. So if you've been feeling disconnected, if you've been pulling away or hiding behind humor or busyness or just fucking indifference, it's time to get real. You don't need a new relationship, you need a new relationship with you. Start there. Start with one small choice that reconnects you to yourself. Because when you choose yourself, you automatically show up better for everyone else. Love isn't something you earn by losing weight. Believe me, I learned that. It's something you reclaim by choosing the truth. Again, here's the thing that no one tells you being overweight steals your energy long before it steals your health. And I don't just mean you're tired, I mean bone deep fucking drain, the kind of exhaustion that seeps into your mornings, you focus, you drive, and honestly, your joy. You wake up already behind. You drag through the day, you tell yourself you're just busy, but the truth is your body's working overtime just to carry the extra weight of the choices that don't serve you. And that exhaustion doesn't just slow you down physically, it fogs your mind. It makes decision making harder, it dulls motivation, it shrinks your world into a loop of I'm too tired right now, but maybe later. The hidden cost isn't the extra calories, it's in all the movement you lose to fatigue. The walks you don't take, guilty. The trips you turn down, guilty. The hobbies you stop doing, guilty, guilty, guilty. The evenings you spend scrolling instead of living, guilty. That's where the time disappears, not in giant chunks, but in small, quiet surrenders. You see, energy isn't just a physical resource, it's emotional currency. Every day you're either investing in growth or wasting it on regret. And your body is constantly weighed down by food, by stress, by guilt. You spend most of your energy just trying to feel normal. You know how many fucking times I said, I just wish I felt normal. I lived that way for years. I told myself I was too busy to take care of myself. I thought exhaustion was just the price of being successful. But it wasn't success that was draining me. It was avoidance. It was all the energy I burned lying to myself that I was fine. When I finally started to lose weight, I realized something shocking. I didn't just feel lighter. I had time again. I stopped crashing in the afternoon. I started showing up with focus, with creativity, with more patience. I was more productive, more present, and at the end, in the final analysis, more alive. And that's the part nobody tells you. The real benefit of getting healthy isn't about looking better. It's about getting your energy back. Because when you have energy, you stop existing and start engaging. You show up for the people you love, you build momentum, and you make shit happens. And that starts with one thing: choosing differently. Not massive changes, not punishment, just one small, smart choice that gives you energy instead of stealing it. Drink water before you drink your coffee. Get outside for fun. Eat food that makes you feel alive instead of feeling bloated. Every choice is a vote for how you want to feel. If you want your time and energy back, it's not hiding in a gym or supplement. It's hiding in the choices that you make every single day. There's a price that you pay for being over with that you'll never see on a medical bill or a credit card statement. It's the price of avoidance. And that bill comes through every single day. It shows up in the things you don't do, the places you don't go, and the moments you quietly opt out because you don't feel comfortable in your own skin. You don't realize how much you've been avoiding until you start adding it up. The beach days you skipped, the vacations you weren't ready for, the dinners where you showed up and weren't really there, all that shit. Every time you tell yourself next time when I lose the weight, or once I get back on track, you're postponing your own life. You're saying, I'll live fully when I look different. But the truth is, most people never get to that mythical when. Because the more you wait, the more comfortable you get with waiting. The more you avoid, the smaller your life becomes. I said that a million times. My life had become the bigger I got, the smaller my life got. And nothing, no truth could be more true than that. Avoidance doesn't feel like some big decision. It feels like a tiny one. You say no to one invitation or you turn off your camera and one Zoom call, you skip a date or an event or something that mattered. But avoidance also compounds like interest. Before you know it, you've built an entire life around what feels safe. You tell yourself you're content, but what you really are is contained. You've traded possibility for predictability and freedom for familiarity. And here's the worst part the world just moves on without you. Your friends keep making memories, your kids keep growing up, your partner keeps hoping you'll rejoin them in the life you want to live together, and you're stuck on the sidelines watching life happen from a distance. Not because you can't participate, but because you convince yourself that you don't belong there until you're ready. I've been there when I was 140 pounds heavier. I said no to everything that made me feel vulnerable. I turned down pool parties, photographs, business events, anything that might make me confront my body. I lived in this half version of myself where I was visible but disconnected. People saw me, but they didn't really see me. And honestly, I didn't want them to. The truth was, I wasn't afraid of judgment. I was afraid of exposure. I didn't want anyone to see that I'd lost control of myself. That's what being overweight felt like to me, being out of control. So I controlled everything else. What I showed, what I shared, where I went, who I let in, pretty much everything else. That's what avoidance really is. Control disguised as protection. You think you're keeping yourself safe, but what you're really doing is building walls to keep out joy and love and possibility. Every no is a brick in that wall. Every excuse, another brick. Until one day the wall is so high that you can't even see what's on the other side anymore. But here's the truth: the only way out of avoidance is through choice. You don't need to wait until you're ready. You just need to start saying yes again. One small, uncomfortable, imperfect yes at a time. Say yes to the photo, even if you fucking hate how you look. Say yes to dinner with friends, even if you feel like a fat tubish shit. Say yes to the trip, to the date, to the pool, because those are the moments that remind you what you're fighting for. When you stop avoiding, life starts expanding again. You reconnect with people, you rediscover experience, you remember that joy doesn't wait for the perfect body, it shows up when you do. And here's the kicker when you start saying yes, weight loss actually gets easier because you stop trying to escape your life and start wanting to live it. Avoidance is a cage that's built by fear. Choice is your key to open that cage. So if you've been hiding behind excuses, behind clothing, behind the I'll start next week bullshit, I get it. But hiding is costing you everything that actually matters. You don't need to be perfect, you just need to participate. So stop waiting for life to start looking the way you want and start living it like it already is. Because the real cost, the real cost of being overweight, the cost of all that is missed joy. That hurts the most. That's the thing that hurts the most, the joy that you've lost. Because when you carry extra weight, you're not just carrying it on your body, you're carrying it into every experience that used to light you up. You stop laughing as much, you stop dancing, you stop doing the things that make you feel free. Not because you can't, but because somewhere along the way you started believing you didn't deserve to feel that way anymore. The real cost of being overweight isn't the food, it's not the gym membership, it's not the doctor visits, it's the moments that you don't fully live. It's sitting at the pool in a t-shirt instead of jumping in. It's deleting 10 pictures before finding one that you can actually deal with, that you can tolerate. It's pretending you don't care about being seen when in truth, you just stop believing you can be seen and loved exactly as you are. That's the hidden tax you pay for every pound you carry. The joy you forfeit piece by piece. And the crazy part is, like I said earlier, nobody around you even knows it's happening. They see you smiling, working, functioning. They don't even realize that behind the smile, you're keeping score. You're constantly calculating how much of your life you can safely participate in without exposing your insecurity. Again, you laugh, but not too loud. You celebrate, but not too big, and you you live, but only halfway. I used to think that happiness would come after I lost the weight. I had this vision, this future vision of myself fit, confident, free, and I think, oh, once I get there, I'll start living. But that was the trap. Because there never comes if you don't start choosing here. You don't get joy by reaching the finish line. You get it by showing up for your life today, by making choices that give you a reason to feel proud before the scale ever even moves. When I started losing weight, it wasn't the number that changed first. It was how I felt about myself. It was the decision to stop sitting it out. I started saying yes again, yes to photos, yes to dinner, yes to living. And guess what? The joy came back before the six pack ever did. Well, the six-pack actually never came. But the joy came back way before I started feeling better about my body. See, joy isn't the reward for weight loss, it's the fuel for it. When you start experiencing joy again, real, unfiltered, unearned, just joy, you naturally start making better choices. You eat better because you want to feel good, not because you're trying to fix something. You move your body because you're grateful for it, not ashamed of it. Joy changes everything. And here's the part that's hard to hear. Being overweight doesn't just rob you of joy, it numbs you to it. You stop feeling the highs and feeling the lows. You live in this muted middle space when nothing feels that bad, but nothing feels that good either. You call it comfort, but it's really just disconnection. If you've been living in that gray zone where every day feels fine, but you can't remember the last time you felt alive, this is your wake-up call because you deserve more than just fine. You deserve to wake up energized. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin. You deserve to laugh and flirt and swim and dance and live without needing the permission from a scale. But that won't happen through guilt or punishment or another diet. It only happens through choice. One small, smart choice to stop letting food, fatigue, and fear dictate your life. Choose joy, choose movement, choose connection, most importantly, choose you. Because the real cost of being overweight isn't your body, it's your life. And you can reclaim it right now. So here's the final truth. Being 25 pounds overweight isn't just about weight, it's about the life you lose while you're carrying it, the confidence you give up, the connections you avoid, the energy that you burn pretending everything's fine. It's about the opportunities you pass on because you don't feel ready, and the joy that you stop letting yourself feel. That's the hidden cost. And most people never add it up because it's a lot easier not to look. But if you've been listening to this and something inside of you is nodding, if you recognize yourself in these words, then you already know it's time. Not for another diet, not for a promise that you'll break by Friday, but for a different kind of decision, a choice. Because you don't need another plan. You need power. The kind that comes from saying, I'm done waiting, I'm done hiding, I'm done settling for less than my best life. And the best part, you don't have to overhaul your life to change it. You just have to start choosing differently. One small, smart choice at a time. That's how I did it. That's how I lost 140 pounds and kept it off. No magic, no pills, no shortcuts, just daily decisions that align with who I wanted to become instead of who I was pretending to be. If you take one thing away from this today, let it be this. You don't have to earn the right to feel good about yourself. You just have to choose it because the life you want, the energy, the joy, the freedom, it's already waiting for you. You just have to stop sending it out. If you want help getting started, grab a copy of my Amazon bestseller, Shut Up and Choose. It's not a diet book, it's a guide to taking back control of your life one decision at a time. And while you're at it, head over to jonathanwrestler.com and sign up for my free weekly tips that are just real practical advice to help you start choosing better and living lighter starting now. Because this isn't about losing weight, it's about losing the limits that have kept you from living. So stop dieting and start choosing. The only thing standing between you and your best life is a choice. All you need to do now is to shut up and choose.

Announcer:

You've been listening to the Shut Up and Choose. Jonathan's passion is to share his journey of shedding 130 pounds in less than a year without any of the usual gimmicks. No diets, no pills, and we'll let you in on a little secret. No fucking gem. And guess what? You can do it too! We hope you enjoyed the show. We had a fucking blast. If you did, make sure to like, rate, and review. We'll be back soon. But in the meantime, find Jonathan on Instagram at JonathanWrestlerBocaraton. Until next time, shut up and choose.

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Jonathan Ressler

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