Auto Care ON AIR

The Art of Small Talk, Part 2

• Auto Care Association • Season 1 • Episode 84

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Back by popular demand, Jacki Lutz brings Zenata Perez and Andrew Steczo back together for an encore on small talk that actually leads somewhere: reading the room, using humor without crossing the line, and turning short chats at crowded events into focused follow-up that moves the relationship forward.

They start with situational awareness and timing: how to scan energy, spot exit cues, and protect goodwill with clean pivots like “I’ll let you get back to it.” Then we dive into professional humor... light, respectful, and delivered with a smile... so you become memorable without risking credibility. The heart of the episode is a practical playbook for shifting from rapport to business without undoing the trust you just built, including when to avoid the pitch, how to set the next step, and why relationship-first cultures win.

You asked for it, so we went deep on remembering names: the three-by-three rule, association tricks, gracious recovery lines, and simple notes that cement faces to context. We also flip the script on being a great receiver of small talk—approachability, yes-and replies that keep momentum, and open questions that spark real stories. Finally, we connect confidence and energy: how short resets make you a better conversationalist, why grace beats perfection, and how small talk, done right, opens big doors in sales, partnerships, and mentorship.

If you learned something, follow the show, share this episode with a colleague who dreads networking, and leave a quick review so more pros can find us. Subscribe for more candid Carpool Conversations and power skills that make the auto care world go.

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Andrew Steczo:

Come on, producers, we gotta say action or something. Is there something formal that you guys gotta say? Like, okay, you guys are live. Cameras are hot.

Jacki Lutz:

You're on air.

Andrew Steczo:

You're on air.

Jacki Lutz:

Right?

Andrew Steczo:

With Jackie.

Jacki Lutz:

Welcome to Auto Care on Air, a candid podcast for Curious Industry. I'm Jackie Lutz, Content Director at the Auto Care Association, and this is Carpool Conversations, where we collaborate on today's most relevant power skills. We are all headed in the same direction. So let's get there together. All right, welcome everybody to another Carpool Conversations. This is an exciting episode because it's our first encore episode. So a couple was it a couple months ago now, I put out on LinkedIn um four different episodes that didn't get to do video. And I was like, if you wanted to hear from these guys one more time, which one do you want? And the small talk episode won with 37%. So very excited to have two returning guests here to familiar faces, Anita Perez and Andrew Stetzo, our industry's small talk experts.

Andrew Steczo:

Well, we appreciate that, Jaggy.

Jacki Lutz:

Welcome back to the show. Thank you. Yeah. So um last time we were together and we're talking about small talk, we covered how to keep conversations going. Um, you know, we we had like a ton of takeaways on those, how to approach strangers. That was a big one for me. You guys had some really nice takeaways and just little like, you know, things that you can do to kind of like break the ice a little bit if you're in a room of people that you don't know. And then how to find connection points was like a really big part of that conversation. And I would encourage anyone listening now, if you haven't listened to the first episode, go back and listen to the art of small talk and then listen to this one too. Because this one's gonna be different, it's gonna have different points, um, but the same experts. So and one thing we also did is we did another survey for this one to see um kind of like what people want to hear more about when it comes to small talk. And uh we talked we're gonna talk a little bit about situational awareness, but we want to talk about the results of that survey. So here's the results of that survey, and we'll walk through these for this episode. Um transitioning chat to business. That was 24% of people balancing professional humor, which I thought was really funny for our industry.

Andrew Steczo:

I'm with that.

Jacki Lutz:

Like I feel like the people that don't have professional humor don't care that much that they don't have professional humor.

Andrew Steczo:

I agree with that. I agree with that. I agree with that.

Jacki Lutz:

I wasn't too surprised. That was 14% of people. Reading the room, which I thought would be bigger. I did too.

Andrew Steczo:

I 10%. Yeah, I expected that to be uh a larger number as well.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah, and then um remembering their name was 52%.

Andrew Steczo:

That's unbelievable.

Jacki Lutz:

That's crazy. Yeah, so we're gonna walk through these. I'm gonna start, let's start with the least. So we're gonna start with reading the room. Let's talk about that a little bit, and we're gonna spend the most time on some tips and tricks to remembering people's names.

Zenata Perez:

Okay.

Jacki Lutz:

So let's talk about reading the room. How do you do it?

Zenata Perez:

I think I mean uh a couple things is being prepared, right? So you knowing where you're going. So if you're walking into a room of, I don't know, a bunch of real estate executives, kind of understanding what they might want to talk about. What is something that and and it doesn't always have to be business related, but understanding your audience, understanding kind of what you're walking into, like what is the situation. And we talked about this a little bit on the last one is um doing some research on LinkedIn too, who's in that room? And are there do they have some interests that you saw on LinkedIn or something where you've you know looked them up on social media or you look them up, you googled their name, right? So and you saw a little bit about their background. But I think that's kind of the first part of it is in reading the room, and then the energy. I know the first thing I do is I'm like, what kind of energy are people engaged? Are they talking? Are they networking? Are they all kind of in their little bubbles? Um, is everybody kind of just not really, you know, talking and hanging out?

Jacki Lutz:

I wonder if it's almost like individual too, right? Because some people will be talking to everybody, some people won't. Some people have high energy, some people will have low energy.

Andrew Steczo:

And some people more naturally, you know, we talked about this last time introverts versus extroverts. Yeah, yeah. But I think, you know, in our pre-flight, it's also timing, right? Like not just reading the room, but we talked about it a little bit. Like some of these events here in Vegas are you know meant to be very social. You're not meant to corner someone, quote unquote. Right. It's really meant to, you know, talk to as many people as possible, right? And so, you know, this might not be the time to have a 45-minute conversation with someone. Right, yeah. And the same thing too, you catch someone in passing between you know, a meeting or whatever they have going on, you know, a lot of people in passing, you can have a short two, three-minute conversation, but understand, you know, they probably got to go somewhere. People are checking their watch, looking at their schedule, right? We see a lot of that, especially here at this event. So just understand that, you know, depending on the timing, it might be a very short connection. Yeah. But that could lead to something else. But just be mindful of the fact that like there's a million things going on, people are moving all over, right?

Jacki Lutz:

There's so how do you know? Like, how can you tell you're talking to somebody, your conversation, you know, is lasting like five minutes? How do you read the person like that? The biggest thing be this.

Andrew Steczo:

If you see this, and most people wear washes, looking at their phone.

Jacki Lutz:

I think I look around. Yeah, looking at their phone. Notice myself doing that sometimes when I'm like, okay, I've been with this person for 20 minutes, this whole thing is an hour, right? So like I'll start looking around for like who else, if is there anyone else that I need to be talking to, or can I spend more time with this one person?

Andrew Steczo:

And there's nothing wrong with saying, hey, I enjoyed this conversation. I need to go catch up with so-and-so, I need to make my rounds. I'll stand off like, hey, I'd love this, you know, but I got a little bit of time. I need to go make my rounds, catch up with a few more people, and just you know, again, be mindful because people like myself, Z, and even you, Jackie, we could get caught for 20, 30 minutes, and then again, you've wasted a a half or a quarter of the whole event on one person that may have a thousand people. Not that they're not worth it, right?

Zenata Perez:

Right. Right, right, right.

Andrew Steczo:

You know, uh spread the love.

Zenata Perez:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think one of my rules too, is I mentioned this to you before, is don't make it weird. Just I mean, this is just kind of understand it, pause, and pivot. And part of part of what I would do is say, Well, I'll let you get back to it. I know you got a lot going on. 100%. Um, or it's a busy day it's a busy evening, so I'm sure you have a lot of yeah, I have a lot of other places to you have a lot of other places to go. I I think also in in reading the room, so I do some stuff in entertainment, and it's crazy because you'll walk in a room and like a networking event there, and at the beginning nobody's talking. It's kind of like they're sizing each other up. Like who who because in that world it's a lot of um, I gotta get to the right person that's gonna get like it's it's so I mean, yes, that kind of exists in all business environments, but it's a lot more cutthroat there.

Andrew Steczo:

Yeah.

Zenata Perez:

So it is, it's like very just everybody's looking around. And it and it's kind of, I don't know, and I'm always kind of the odd duck because I'm just who's gonna make the first move, you know. And I'm just like, hey, you know, so and they're like, who's this girl? But um, but no, I I agree with you. I mean, just don't make it weird and and recognize it, right? So that's a really big sign, too.

Jacki Lutz:

I've noticed if you're talking to somebody and they're looking around the room, they're like, Okay, somebody called me out on it, they're not engaged, and it was really embarrassing.

Andrew Steczo:

Once you lose eye contact, if they're going to their phone, their face, or they're looking around them. To your point, say something. Hey, I know you're busy, you got a lot going on, you know, we can catch up some other time, or here's my card, here's my card, or whatever the case is. Yeah. So reading those, you know, the facial cues, right? The body language is huge.

Jacki Lutz:

And I think just not taking it personally, too. Just understand like everybody's there to like meet people and and stuff. So like if somebody is looking around the room, it doesn't mean they didn't enjoy the conversation, they didn't get things out of it, but like there's an agenda. Like, sure, sure.

Andrew Steczo:

They have their own agenda, right? They want to meet people, and you kind of maybe caught them, they were about to go talk to somebody else about a different topic, or they were warming up for a different conversation, you caught them off guard. They're like, Oh no, angel just messed me up because threw me off guard, right? So you don't know what they have planned, right? So it's not personal, you know? Yeah. And um, you know, but just leaving them with, hey, can we find a better time to chat?

Jacki Lutz:

Like a CTA. Yeah. Yeah. Give me your card, let's connect, I'll be reaching out.

Andrew Steczo:

I'll give it, give you a shout-out on LinkedIn. Let's talk, you know, let's talk when we have more time, kind of thing.

Jacki Lutz:

Right. That's right. So the second one was balancing professional humor.

Zenata Perez:

Oh boy. Um I I think a lot of like you kind of mentioned this last time too, is uh kind of poking fun at yourself. You know what I mean?

Jacki Lutz:

Like there's so many things you can just I'm thinking more like just knowing our industry, but like if there's like an innuendo or something like that, you know, like staying professional. Right. Um, but still not being dry. Right. You know, but like figuring out how to still have humor.

Andrew Steczo:

We're still we're still on auto parts here or taking care of automobiles, and again, it is very important, but at the end of the day, like uh it gets you from A to B.

Zenata Perez:

Yeah, it sure does.

Andrew Steczo:

But you know, some people take life too seriously, some people take a job too seriously, whatever the role is, right? You gotta have fun. I'm a firm believer in that. And you know, uh, I'm known for being a little bit of a jokester, and as Jackie's giggling here, and you know, and then throwing quick uh quick zips in there, one-liners and whatnot. And a lot of it's delivery, yeah. Right? So you get timing, you can't be inappropriate, right? Obviously, there's lines there. Um knowing your audience is another one, right? So um, you know, you might get away with a little more of a gray area joke depending on your audience versus you know uh yeah, maybe read the audience. Yeah, that's another one reading the room, right? So you know what you can get away with in terms of being uh you know funny and whatnot.

Jacki Lutz:

But um maybe your situation. Like are you at a networking event or are you at dinner?

Zenata Perez:

You know, yeah, and you mentioned before if you know one of the people in the group, maybe you don't know everybody there, but you know one person. Well, that kind of opens up to a little bit more of a comfort zone of sure where you know you can say something funny and then maybe it'll kind of resonate with the rest of the you hope it will.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah. You know what else I'm thinking now is like I tend I'm either making fun of myself because I feel like it it lets everyone's guards down when I'm like, oh, you know, I make fun of my height or just whatever. Um but another one is I if I like you, I tend to poke fun at you like I'm mean to you. But it's like a nice thing.

Andrew Steczo:

If Jackie's been mean to you, she really likes you.

Jacki Lutz:

If I'm nice to you, I probably don't like you. You know, I'm gonna get a cold. I'm just kidding. But like I'm just thinking too, like in a professional sense, you're in a group of people, you're not just with that person. Yeah. That could be like there's a lot of people like that that, you know, that that's how I I feel like I get closer with someone is like I feel like we have an inside joke. I'll poke fun at them, you know, because they wore the wrong shoes the other day and they were complaining about it or something, and now I have something on them. Right. So I'll just but it's it's lighthearted, right?

Andrew Steczo:

People let that card down, right? To your point, when you get with a with a group of people and maybe not everyone knows each other, you're not sure. People kind of stiffen up a little bit, right? You're not sure how to react, right? But you make a simple joke or make fun of yourself, kind of people relax a little bit and you know, oh Jackie's so funny, you know, kind of lead in, introduce people, or so on and so forth. So it it really helps, you know, loosen the mood.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah. I think I do that because I'm always uptight in in rooms where I don't know anyone. Yeah. So like when there is a comic relief, I am usually grateful for it.

Zenata Perez:

Like the person that gets the guards down and stuff, like you know, and I think in you know, we talked about this, the world's heavy, like everybody wants to laugh. Like a little bit of a just even something silly. Yeah, right. So uh the one-liners and the the dad jokes, yeah, for sure, for sure. You know, but just keep it professional, just keep it professional.

Jacki Lutz:

That's the point here.

Zenata Perez:

But yeah, and and I think also to your point when you're saying, like, if if you're if you like somebody, you're usually mean to them, but I know this person. Yeah, you know this personally, but no, but you do it in a way that it's not threatening, right? So it's it's just kind of like you're like, okay, like when you were joking with me when we first met, I was like, okay, I I actually like her though. I'm gonna I'm gonna let her continue. Well, but that's again before before I get back at her. Yeah.

Andrew Steczo:

But it's about delivery again, because you're doing it with a giggle, a smile on your face. The words are coming out of your mouth might be right poking a little fun either at you or at yourself, but your delivery with your smile and how you're carrying yourself, people get that, right?

Jacki Lutz:

It's like, you know, it helps too if you're just as hard on yourself as you were with the you make fun of yourself and then you make fun of them. They're like, Right, everyone's just getting thrown under the bus here.

Andrew Steczo:

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Zenata Perez:

But smiling is is a big like smiling helps, right? Because it kind of makes you softer in your delivery as well. Just kind of just not like you're you know, if you're saying if you're making fun of somebody with a harsh face, obviously that's like, whoa.

Andrew Steczo:

Oh Jackie's Jackie really doesn't like me.

Zenata Perez:

Yeah, no, that's just her face.

Jacki Lutz:

She's she's not nice. No. Yeah, honestly, like the whole uh how I when you when you're at rest and you're just thinking really hard or something, you should really be aware of how you come across. Yeah, you know, try to smile. Right. Or like, was it Tara Banks? I'm aging myself. Was she always Tyra Banks? Smyzing with your eyes. With your eyes.

Andrew Steczo:

So I learned something new today. I I've not heard of this.

Jacki Lutz:

But you can like be have like be smiling with your eyes without that's what that's what they would teach the models.

Zenata Perez:

Yeah, that's what they're saying. So when they were when they would, you know, shoot them, they didn't look so um they look softer, right? They look like that cheesy and they look relatable, not miserable and ingrained.

Andrew Steczo:

I don't, you know, I'm not in the modeling industry, obviously. Maybe I should be, but um like with a stone face, you know like the like unapproachable face, like that, you know, what was uh Zoolander to Blue Steel or whatever you know?

Zenata Perez:

So uh they're gonna see you walk in the show later.

Andrew Steczo:

I got the blue steel.

Zenata Perez:

Um so later, Andrew, when I see you around, I mean smise.

Andrew Steczo:

Yeah, okay. Hey, yeah, I like that. I learned something the other day. That's awesome.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah, it's a good point. Okay, let's move on to this third one. Uh transitioning chat to business. I think this is a really good one. So you you you know, you start small talk with somebody that you actually need something from. Like you want to it's sales or you want them to help you with something, or maybe you're approaching a potential mentor, like it could be a thousand things. So, how do you go from, hey, are you having a good day? I like your shoes, like all the things we've already talked about, giving compliments, now they're talking to you, their guards down. Like, how do you transition to a business conversation without reversing all the work you just did, you know, and building a relationship? And then they're like, Oh, they just wanted something out of me. So here we're there.

Andrew Steczo:

So I think, you know, we we talked about the little little bit this in the pre-flight is again, it comes down to timing, especially specifically at this event, where you probably aren't gonna have the time to have a 20, 30 minute conversation. And as much as we're all here in Vegas for business, and it does get done in a lot of these networking events and in passing, there's not enough time to really accomplish what you want to accomplish. So, you know, I said this to someone the other day. Oftentimes, if I take customers out, I won't talk any business. If I take them to dinner, I I won't start. If the customer wants to lean into business, if they start, I'll I'll strictly talk about relationships, whether it's face-to-face or if it's at dinner, if they want to open the business door, I'll jump through it. But I may be play golf with someone for four hours, I may be at a three-hour dinner and never talk one bit of business. Yeah, only build the relationship, right? The business time will come, right? And they will people want to do business with people they like, right? And building that relationship is hyper important. So um, you know, there will be a transition, you know, and again, here, my personal opinion is you know, there are a lot of shorter conversations. And so, you know, to your point, Jackie, don't undo what you just did. Say, I, you know, I loved our conversation, I would love to catch up. Now's not the time to get into a business conversation, or you know, I'd love to chit-chat with you about being a mentor and love to talk more, you know, next week when you're in the office, or you know, is there a good time? You know, just I'll shoot you an email kind of thing where again you had a great light-hearted conversation, you've built the relationship, and you know, and again, a lot of these people here specifically, you've been doing your meetings all day, you've been talking business all day. Some of these network events, you just want to relax a little bit and you know, maybe have a cold one and chit-chat with some some industry peers. And you know, we we've all got frazzled at the end of a 12-14-hour day, or you you even you know, us extroverts, I I don't want to talk to anybody anymore, right? Like I'll keep in our conversations, I'm all talked out. I'm all talked out. Um, as shocking as that sounds. But again, it you know, it it's really you know, coming back to the timing and then you know, understanding, reading the room, we just kind of talked about that all there's a correlation there and understanding that hey, this, you know, even though you really wanna, you got this person, you've been trying to track them down, you really want to have that conversation, you know, you gotta understand where you're at. Yeah, you know, and just build that bridge for the next conversation. Because would you rather have you know five minutes in a noisy room, five more minutes in a noisy room, or have someone's you know, total attention for 30 minutes on a Zoom call in your offices, right? Yeah, you'd much rather have the latter, right?

Jacki Lutz:

So Yeah, something we did when I was in medical sales is like, you know, kind of like warming up the sale. Um, but I think like a lot of people who are very career driven, like I've I don't mind at all when people come to me and being like, oh, I I love what you do. I want to do something similar. Like, I would love to have a conversation with you sometime if you're willing to get on a call. Like, I I don't feel offended by that at all. Like I'm like, yeah, I would love to help you. This is like what I do. I love it, you know? Yeah. So, you know, it it's it goes back down to reading the room.

Andrew Steczo:

I can do it very softly. Yeah, do it very softly, and then plant that seed, like, hey, I'd love to have a conversation. Now's not the time. You know, it's been a long day. Yeah, yeah.

Zenata Perez:

You've been observing, you know, like sure. One of the things I do, like in managing sales teams, I'm I'm always saying break bread with people, like take them to lunch, get at dinner, get out of the office. And I'm the same way. I don't talk business anymore because that's people anybody can come in and talk business because you've got competitors, right? And they're gonna come in and kind of do the same thing. But if you're gonna be that person that's kind of the light of their day, the different somebody who's different, right? So gets to know them, they get to know you. Now there's a personal relationship. Back to your point, I always say that people buy from who they like. Because at the end of the day, everybody's gonna come in with their quote, with and we're on the sales side, right? Saying that, or or or just in general, like you're gonna have other business conversations. So can when you can kind of have a break in the day, and you're like, oh my god, that was so nice to just go to lunch and talk about like whatever, what they're passionate about, what they're doing this weekend, where they're gonna travel to next. Um, but I'm I think it's a great point. I try to not talk business. I mean, I'll always kind of throw it in there like, hey, when you have time, you know, this was a great lunch or this was a great, you know, chit-chat, catching up. Um, when you have time, let's get together and then, you know, actually get back to what we're you know trying to accomplish together is uh in on the business side. But um, but I just wanted to like, you know, get to know you. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew Steczo:

And it's interesting you see, like even culturally, right? Like you go south of the border, it's relationships first. Oh, thousand percent. Long before like they want to learn who you are, long before you know you get to the business board. Like you you do not talk business, right? You you do do the relationship, which I really appreciate that about you know, our counterparts to the south and and learning that culturally, and and I think we could we could learn a lot from that, right? Yeah, not and not rushing it, right? Because you know, you you don't want to you know shoot your shot when you know maybe you haven't built a relationship.

Zenata Perez:

I I agree though. I think um there's parts of Europe where I go for work and I mean I'll have like a 10-hour meeting, seriously, because you'll go to lunch with the person, you'll go back and do business, and then you'll go to dinner and they'll bring their family. And to me, that's when somebody's like willing to just give up that much of their day to to spend with you, it's for me, I mean it's like that's half the battle. You've you've won that part of that, you know, it's like it becomes a friendship.

Andrew Steczo:

And I think you spark something there in my mind, also if if they want you to meet your significant other or your family, yeah.

Zenata Perez:

It's huge, right?

Andrew Steczo:

You they're bringing you into bringing you that their world. Right, yes, absolutely. So if you know I've had numerous times where customers say, Hey, I want, you know, I want you and your wife to come fly out and have dinner with me and my wife, or whatever the case is, you know, and and that's awesome, right? And then you know, you get your significant others talking and bonding, and then you know, they their wife really likes your wife or husband or you know, whatever the case is, right? And inserts SO here, but um, that's huge, right? That's that's building that relationship and that that next level of the relationship, right? Like, oh, I know his kids or I know his family, and right um, you know, it really takes things to the next level.

Zenata Perez:

And I think just the last thing I would put on that is you read the person, right? So if they turn to business, then obviously they're kind of done with the small talk and they kind of want to get there to the to the business point. But what I try to do is make sure I'm building that relationship as much as I can, but you also have to feed off their energy, right? So if they're kind of taking it there, then then obviously you pivot with them. Um, I think that's another big kind of understanding social cues, understanding kind of where the conversation is going. Uh, because it could be back to your point, somebody's not comfortable with small talk. So you've been kind of chatting them up and then they're like, okay. And and I think that kind of goes back to what do you do when it gets awkward?

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah.

Zenata Perez:

Right? What do you do when it it small talk fails?

Jacki Lutz:

Which it has Yes, we were gonna talk about that. It's not in my notes. Yeah, how do you recover?

Zenata Perez:

I think it goes back to humor, and I think also back to the point, just like pause and recognize it and then be like, okay, well, that was awkward. Sure, you're ready to go.

Andrew Steczo:

I didn't even and you can make a joke about that. I didn't mean to make this weird. I apologize, right? My bad.

Zenata Perez:

Didn't mean to intrude. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew Steczo:

Like you were probably having a much better time before I got here. So let's let me uh exit stage left.

Zenata Perez:

Right, right, right. I'll try my stand up later.

Jacki Lutz:

You guys just nailed like five good combacks, and I'm sitting here trying to add to it, and I'm like, I'm nothing. Those are great. That's awesome. All right, I want to make sure we have plenty of time to talk about remembering their name. But before we do that, we should talk about why that's so important. Because I do think when someone says hi, Jackie, versus like hi, it does make a difference. Like you immediately feel like you pick up where you just left off, and he remember he must they must remember right, you know, things about you and and they're actually of genuine interest. So it does help to remember names. That being said, that being said, I have a very difficult name. Yes, you think but that makes it easier to remember in my opinion.

Zenata Perez:

I think I think it's harder to remember because, well, first of all, the pronunciation is always difficult for people.

Andrew Steczo:

And it is what give us it's Zanata.

Zenata Perez:

Zanata, okay. But I mean, a lot of people say. Yeah, so when you're in Europe, like they don't say a like an American would. It's ah, right. So I mean, I've just okay, Zanata's fine, whatever, whatever you, but that's a lot of why I go by Z, because it's just easier, and I feel like that's more memorable, right? So it's interesting because what I've noticed is when I'm telling somebody my name, and then I go just call me Z, there's this weird comfort, like, oh, she's already giving me her nickname. Yeah.

Jacki Lutz:

You know what I mean? Like, oh, okay. But like those association things too, like um, like Jessica Tilicious. Years ago, I was like, I never know how to say your last name. Um, and she was the chair of women in autocare at the time. And she goes, it's like delicious.

Andrew Steczo:

She said the exact same reason.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah, you'll never forget that.

Andrew Steczo:

I would never forget that. And we were talking about association. That's we were talking about A to Z. We were joking before, you know, my name's Andrew. That's an easy one to remember. First letter of the alphabet. Um, but A to Z, that's how I and I've been mispronouncing your name. I appreciate you. Uh let us for me. Um, but you know, again, I I'm a huge fan of association, right? Whether it's a nickname or or you know, bad boy Bill, wacky Jackie, or you know, uh please don't say that on air. I know why. Hey, I have a joke in there. Um but you know, or you know, or using somebody famous, or if you have a relative, right, or anything you can use. I'm a huge fan of association. Another big one um that's out there, you know, it is using it like three times in three minutes. So, you know, you introduce somebody and ask a question immediately, right? And use their name again, Jackie. You know, what do you do in your off time? And Jackie, what do you try to use it three times in in a couple minutes? The three by three is the rule, right? So try to use their name three times in three minutes, and that'll you know really help you remember. And again, people have different you know, skill sets, different tri tips, tricks, you know, and and whatever's gonna work for you, like use those things.

Jacki Lutz:

Um I also think people that's a good one. People are merciful, though. They do give grace, I think, when especially in like environments like this where you meet like 30 people a day. I don't think admitting like, what was your name again? I can't pinpoint it.

Andrew Steczo:

How many badge readers do we have, right? You see it all the time.

Jacki Lutz:

But you don't want to read your I'm I'm terrified to be that person. Like I try so hard not to look down, you know, or wait till they look away and like who other people are can I do it doing the side eye, see if you can see the badge and it's covered by their jacket or something. The best thing that I learned, and I think it's quite common, but like, you know, if somebody comes up and you don't know their name, you can introduce them to the person next to you, and then they'll introduce themselves to that person, and then you get their name. Oh hey, this is uh have you guys met?

Andrew Steczo:

Yeah, yeah. No, no, I I've used that one before too, right? This is Jackie. This is you know, before you act like you're yeah, 100%. That's a good trick. That's a great trick.

Jacki Lutz:

That was one of the best tricks I've ever learned, and I use it like a thousand times a day at this show.

Zenata Perez:

I definitely have try to do this. I don't I've never heard of the three by three or three. Three by three? That's a good one. Um, but I do try to repeat their name, like at least once. So I'm like, okay, let me let me get this. Because me having a difficult name, I'm very cognizant of okay, know their name or understand and and also pronunciation, because back again, like most people cannot pronounce my name right. So I'm always like, all right, well, how exactly do you say that? I want to make sure I'm saying it right. And I think that's also a level of respect. So if you ask somebody if they have a name that's a little bit more unique, sure, and you ask them, I want to make sure I'm saying it right. How do you say this? I think there's like a level of comfort that that they like a guard gets down because they're like, okay, this person's being respectful. They want to say my name right. They're not, they're not just, you know, gonna butcher it. I don't even notice it. People say lots a lot instead of loot.

Jacki Lutz:

Lutes, yeah. You don't notice it, but I mean they don't can't.

Andrew Steczo:

My last name is butchered all the time.

Jacki Lutz:

So what do they say?

Andrew Steczo:

How do you Stets Coast? For everybody, the C is like a T, Stets O. So it's check. Z is like a T, right? So phonetically it's S-T-E-T-Z-O. Um, but yeah, so I'm used to that too, right? So the but there's other things, like I said, if you can use that, we talked about a little bit yesterday. I think um, you know, you've got to be careful with this one, but if you're especially if you're in a networking event, like you can use your phone, right? If people get if you get your phone out for a second, like okay, uh Jackie's in, you know, an orange shirt and a black laser, Z's in a you know, blue shirt and a black laser, or you know, uh this guy has glasses, or Josh has a gray shirt, or whatever it is, right? And same thing in meetings too. Uh, you know, if you're at a boardroom with a bunch of people, you put most people have notepads. There's nothing wrong with no one knows what notes you're taking. My first notes are like, okay, Dave's got a gray shirt on. This guy's wearing, so that way I, you know, I make sure I remember the names. Um, and again, you got to be careful there. You don't want to just meet somebody be like, hey, hold on a second. Let me get my phone out and uh let me take your picture too. And uh, you know, for my content.

Jacki Lutz:

Uh the names I'm best at are like um, like I remember most Brian's because my dad's name was Brian. My second son's name is Brian. Okay. So like whenever I meet a Brian, I always say, Um, oh, my dad's name is Brian. It's like one of my family names, or like, is it a why or an I? You know, like asking those people. So that's a big one. That helps you remember.

Andrew Steczo:

Yeah, if you can, if you can associate it with someone that you know, a family member, someone close to you that has that same name, you will not forget their name. Yeah, right. If you can associate like my dad's name was Larry. Anybody Larry, I never forget it, right? Like the same sort of thing. You know, I'm an Andrew, so I remember those guys pretty well. Um, but yeah, just trying some some sort of association, I think it's huge.

Zenata Perez:

Yeah. Well, I always, even if I'm gonna save somebody's uh phone number, I'll put like a dash Vegas or dash, you know, whatever, wherever I've got while you're here. Like if it here, yes. But like, or dash New York or or just something, something that something that I remember like when you're gonna be.

Andrew Steczo:

I usually do a company name or something like there. I'll do, you know, parentheses, you know, yeah, auto care host or you know, sensata uh director.

Zenata Perez:

So something we had a funny banter, right? And I learned something about this person, and I'll put it in there, like, you know, yeah. I don't know.

Andrew Steczo:

Something to remember him by?

Zenata Perez:

Yeah. One the one about the dog or something like that.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah, yeah. Totally see that, yeah. So we covered all those and we have a few more minutes. I wanted to talk about two more things if we can fit them in. One of them is being a better receiver of small talk because we've talked so far about approaching people. How do you lead a conversation? How do you, you know, become better at approaching people with small talk? We didn't talk yet about how to be a better receiver of small talk to make it easier on the person trying to have small talk with you.

Zenata Perez:

Well, I would say listening, right? So just be a better listener. It's it's okay. So for Andrew and I, we both are chatty, get chatty, chatty Chuck and Chatty Kathy and Chatty Kathy, um, A-Z. But I think l also taking the moment to pause and listen to learn about these people and let people talk about themselves. Even introverts, I've said this before, everyone's interesting, right? Everybody has something in their life that's that's interesting. And if you can get to the heart of what that person likes to talk about or has passion about, then you're allowing them to speak. And I think people like that, they feel good. And I think also making people feel comfortable enough to be the one that's actually, you know, delivering and and and speaking and talking more. Um, I think it just I think approachability maybe is saying being a better listener, and and um we touched on this last time, Andrew, but um being interested in what they have to say, right? Yeah, yeah.

Andrew Steczo:

So I mean uh one of my mentors always says, be interested, not interesting.

Zenata Perez:

I love that.

Andrew Steczo:

Right?

Zenata Perez:

So if you can try I think you should do it, but I think you should do both.

Andrew Steczo:

Well, I I don't dis I don't disagree with you, but truly you're not you're not wrong, Nizzle. I don't I don't disagree with you, but fight, fight, fight. But first and foremost, like

Zenata Perez:

We disagree. No kidding.

Andrew Steczo:

All marriages have those. Um but no, I I think, you know, but but think how it comes across, right? So, like, you know, we could put on a show, right? We could we could run a room, right? That's kind of the people we are, but it it comes across in a different way, right? The people, if we're connecting one-on-one and being interested in them truly, as opposed to just being an interesting, you know, you know, exaggerated, over the top kind of personality, you know, that that we kind of have, right? And then there's a time and a place for that, right? Time to, you know, be in the be in the the shine and the spylight, like we talked about before. But um, you know, I think for us it's easy to be approached, but the inverse is true to some of our previous conversation here in this episode is you know, you got to do the same thing, right? I'll I'd love to have small talk, but hey, I you know, I gotta run, or you know, I don't mean to cut you off, had a great conversation, but you know, I got I gotta keep working the room, or you know, so those kind of those same rules we just discussed earlier in this episode still applied to the opposite, right? But I think you you mentioned something being approachable, right? It's that comes back to what was the eye thing you guys called?

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah, smything. Smithing, right?

Andrew Steczo:

Well smithing.

Zenata Perez:

You're but if you're sitting in the corner and you're like, yeah, you you know, you're a wallflower and you got this stone face look, like if you have a scowl, you're not gonna attract people to you.

Andrew Steczo:

But if you you know, if you kind of look like you're lighthearted, having a good time, you know, you're laughing and joking, cutting up, um, you're much more approachable.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah, 100%. I also confidence, yeah. Yeah, we have confidence here too. That's like our next thing. But one thing I was talking to somebody about yesterday. So I'm working on another episode about being a yes and person. Okay. Kind of comes from improv, right? I think there's a book I just discovered I need to read before I do this episode about being a yes and person. And I think that could really be applied to small talk. So when somebody comes up to you and says, Hey, how's your week going? You don't just say, Good. And then it's like, okay, you say yes and then say something else, right? So it's like, really good. I'm really busy, but you know, it's all been good stuff and I've got you know a lot going on. That's been awesome. And then kind of add to it because then they have something to say too, and be like, yeah, same. It's been busy, you know, like and it can keep going.

Andrew Steczo:

Sure. But I think also in asking that question, you could frame it slightly differently. Like instead of saying, How's your week going? That what's you could one word, what's your best, what's your favorite part of your week so far, right? That's like harder to give a one-word answer.

Zenata Perez:

Right. Open-ended questions. Open ended questions, yeah. So what's been keeping you busy this week? Right?

Andrew Steczo:

So what's taking the most of your time? What's you know?

Zenata Perez:

Yeah, so there's a there's a way for them to elaborate. Because yeah, the one-word answers are tough, and then you're like, ooh, okay.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah, yeah.

Andrew Steczo:

Like, do they not want to talk to me or are they just not gonna ask my kids how school was, or is that good? Like, that's all I get is good. You went there for eight hours, and all you get is good.

Jacki Lutz:

At least you get that. Like, what'd you do at school today? Nothing. Like, I doubt that. I highly doubt that. Okay. Um, so yeah, the last one was confidence. Yeah, so much of this is confidence.

Zenata Perez:

Well, I think initially, right, people are attracted to confident people, whether it's in a business setting, a personal setting, a new friendship. But confidence attracts people. So I think if you're confident, then you can kind of help drive that confidence within the conversation.

Andrew Steczo:

I mean, it's it's a kind of a tricky thing, but I think but I think it comes back to like how you carry yourself and don't take yourself too seriously and like that lightheartedness because you know, not be when none of us are perfect, right? And you have kind of that mentality, it makes you more approachable for yourself. Sorry, sorry, Jackie. Um but yeah, you know, it and again, not taking yourself too seriously and just you know, you're gonna have conversations that don't go well, or you're gonna maybe make a joke that doesn't go that well, you know, it doesn't land, right? You're uh how much was it, a whale way?

Zenata Perez:

But I I think that's also energy, right? So if you're if you're bringing energy, which also helps with confidence, I think that's another thing because if low energy will then kind of drive that same shift in in the room you're in or in the circle you're in that you're talking to, or the person. But if you have energy and you're exuding confidence, uh it's kind of contagious, it's contagious. Sure.

Jacki Lutz:

Right. So there's a whole nother episode about building confidence because you know, in the last episode, I I told the story about how I went to a podcast, my first ever podcast conference, and I was very much outside of my comfort zone, definitely the newbie on the block. Didn't know anybody and like eight by myself in my room.

Andrew Steczo:

No, you know, we all feel bigger than the same room.

Jacki Lutz:

Give me your pity. But um, I I think confidence has everything to do with it because when I'm at, you know, an automotive aftermarket events, I small talk everybody. Like it's not scary to me whatsoever, and I love it. And it doesn't drain me. It's it's fine. So there's there's really needs to be, and it's probably different for everybody, but steps to like build confidence and like look into that, you know, Google it, do just try things to like help build your confidence because small talk will be a lot easier.

Andrew Steczo:

It is it you gotta know yourself to lead yourself, kind of thing. And yesterday, you know, I was in meetings, going around meeting people all day long, yada yada yada. And you know, I had a couple of receptions, but I took a break. I knew I was frazzled, I've been talking all day. I I went in my hotel room for an hour, hour and a half. You needed a reset, you needed a reset, sat by myself, listened to some music, you know, talked to the family for a little bit. But I knew that like I could not carry on through the evening with you know, given my top, my top game, yeah, unless I took a break for a minute, right? And kind of just got out of got out of here for a few minutes and and reset and and came back after it. But I was better for it once I got to the receptions. I was rejuvenated, I was ready to chatty chuck it up and shake, shake some hands and kiss some babies.

Jacki Lutz:

I've never seen a uh not talkative Andrew.

Andrew Steczo:

Well, that's that would be a strange sight. Well, well, that'd be the same with Z. Are you okay? Are you okay? Yeah. Uh yeah, I'm just tired. You know. Catch me on a Thursday in Vegas. My brain is much. Yeah.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah. Well, let's land this plane. Um, let's go around the room and just say, you know, what's the big what are you hoping the big takeaway from this episode is?

Zenata Perez:

Uh my big takeaway would say that like I would say, sorry, small talk is actually not small. It's big. Yeah. Because it opens it opens doors, it starts relationships, it builds trust. So I think if if people kind of take anything away from this is just think of like the bigger picture of small talk. I know the word is small, but like and what it could lead to.

Andrew Steczo:

Right. It that's a starting point, yeah. Right. It's not where you finish, right? Right. That's a great one. Oh, that's awesome. I love that. No, I think uh, yeah, I think I think Z you made a couple of great points there, you know, and and again, remembering people's names. And I think the biggest thing is, you know, there's a lot of stuff out there, right? We we talked about a few things, the three by three association, these other methods. Is is try it. Try all the stuff. You got you gotta practice, right? You gotta practice, and you're gonna make mistakes and things aren't gonna go well, and you're gonna forget names, and there's nothing wrong with saying, hey, I apologize, you know, I forgot your name, or whatever the case is. And you know, again, when you meet a thousand people in a day, it gets more difficult. Um, but yeah, just get out there, right? And have the conversations and try these different techniques to remember names or to start small talk or the things kind of we talked about in the first episode as well. And uh, you know, you're gonna make some mistakes and you're gonna have some conversations that don't go well, but in the end, you will get better at it and you'll be better for it.

Jacki Lutz:

Yeah. I think mine is like is really there's a lot of grace out there, like give grace, receive grace. And if you're an overthinker like I am trying not to be, you know, just know like if you had an awkward conversation, you tried it, you failed, that person's not laying in bed right now thinking about that interaction with you and how weird it was.

Andrew Steczo:

Jackie came up to me and you know what a weirdo.

Jacki Lutz:

Anyone who really does want to improve this and they're really hard on themselves, which you know a lot of us are, you know, keep trying. I think it comes more naturally, definitely build your confidence, but just know like it's worth trying because a fail is not like a massive fail, you know, in in this sense. It's it's all small, don't sweat it. Um yeah, that's that's kind of mine. Well, thank you guys. This was a really good first encore episode.

Andrew Steczo:

Love it. No, no, no. Thank you very much. We we appreciate you uh you having us and uh I really enjoyed your company again, ladies. And hopefully we'll get to do it a third time for some point.

Jacki Lutz:

What's an what's a third encore? Oh, what's the third encore? Yeah, that's the third encore. We gotta think of a better word. Yeah, yeah. The standing ovation. Standing ovation. Yeah, there we go.

Zenata Perez:

I well, you kind of hit on the confidence thing. You know what I mean? I think I think also just um, you know, when you talk about small talk, uh, and and again, it comes naturally for you and I, but I I'll just leave with this. I actually had a a meeting with someone that I had not known before, so the new person. And he gave me a big compliment. He said, Listen, uh, I bet when you meet people, you end up being the light of the day for them. And I was like, What? And he's like, Because you're just funny, and you just kind of take the conversation to like play because I like recommended a movie he should watch, and then he he sent me an email and he goes, Oh my gosh, I'm dying. Send me more recommendations. And it wasn't even that was a c it was a very business conversation, but he's like, You kind of just broke the the air, and and I didn't realize at that point I'm I'd been all day doing these business calls, and I didn't realize that I just kind of needed like a relief. Like a relief. I don't want to talk about that. That's nice. Yeah, so I think also just being memorable. Try to a little bit of tidbit to be memorable and to really um we live in a world now where everything has everything's so polished. So I think when you can just be humble and be afraid, not be afraid to just to your point screw up, there's an awkward moment. Laugh about it, keep going. There's a silly moment. I'm sure Andrew has many of them. Sure do. And like you said, Jackie, you're like, I just kind of fuck fun of myself when it gets a little bit weird. But I think that remembering to be human. And I I think just we're moving to all this robots, AI, uh, everything again is so polished, kind of perfect. But remember, like we are okay to to make a mistake and to just kind of have a have an awkward moment and just you know bottom key. Yeah. Because I think that's what people are missing. And when I think about just in general, what I do in sales, the the connection, right? The human connection that we're just we're just people.

Jacki Lutz:

We're just humans, we're just humans. We're all trying to figure it out.

Zenata Perez:

Yeah, we just we make mistakes, yeah. We're not perfect.

Andrew Steczo:

No, that's awesome.

Zenata Perez:

Oh, thank you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Yes.

Jacki Lutz:

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Auto Care on Air. Make sure to subscribe to our podcast so that you never miss an episode. And don't forget to leave us a rating and review. It helps others discover our show. Auto Care on Air is proud to be a production of the Autocare Association, dedicated to advancing the autocare industry and supporting professionals like you. To learn more about the association and its initiatives, visit autocare.org.

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Behzad Rassuli

Host
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Jacki Lutz

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Michael Chung

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Stacey Miller

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