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Tuesday Talks!
Join me for weekly discussions about ALL things education...from preschool through high school! As a mom, Speech Language Pathologist, and educator, I share my personal experiences related to each week's topic in relatable and informative ways.
My message about education is powerful: Reflecting on what is and making waves to cause change!
Tuesday Talks!
Resolving Conflicts: The culture shift schools and families need
Send us your thoughts about this week's episode!
Conflict is everywhere kids go—classrooms, playgrounds, sports fields, and group chats—and the way adults handle it teaches them what “normal” looks like. In this week's episode, Dr. Tiffany unpacks how adult behavior becomes a blueprint, from viral meltdowns in school hallways to unexpectedly creative redirects that turn heat into humor and expression. Learn about research showing why constructive conflict at home predicts stronger social-emotional outcomes and hear a break down on how to make SEL real with five everyday competencies that kids can actually use under pressure.
When conflict skills are woven into daily culture—not just pulled out after a blowup—respectful responding becomes the norm and fights lose their shine. If you want fewer flare-ups and more growth, this conversation gives you the tools to model, teach, and practice repair in ways that stick.
Get practical strategies that you can use at home and in your classroom TODAY to help your kids and students! Dr. Tiffany shares real practices at each level--elementary, middle & high school.
If this helped, follow the show, share it with a parent or teacher who needs it, and leave a quick review telling us your favorite strategy. Your notes help other families and classrooms find us and build calmer, kinder communities.
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Tuesday Talks is hosted by Dr. Tiffany. She has been a Speech/Language Pathologist for 20 years. She's also a speaker and educational consultant. Dr. Tiffany hosts webinars and in-person workshops for teachers and parents.
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Welcome to Tuesday Talks, your educational podcast helping parents become strong advocates for their kids and teachers to make big impacts in the classroom. Here we go. Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back for another Tuesday Talks. If you joined me last week for our episode on the four-day teacher work or the four-day school week, and you're a teacher, please know that so many of you reached out to me with your input. And it was kind of a mixed bag of nuts. Some teachers were like, Yes, please give me a four-day school week. And other teachers were like, nah, I'm good. You can keep it if I'm gonna have to do work on that fifth day. So if you haven't watched that episode, go back. Definitely check that one out because it really sparked some good conversation. And thanks for everybody who reached out with your comments and remarks. I appreciate it. And as always, please be sure to tune in every week. Amazing topics, all things education, and also share, like, subscribe, all the social media stuff. I have another great episode for you all tonight. We are gonna be talking about conflict resolution. I don't know if you've noticed, but there have been quite a few stories in the news about how parents are resolving conflicts at school activities. So in Arkansas, recently, uh at a kindergarten graduation ceremony, parents, you know, crowded into the halls. They have proud kids in their caps and gowns, and something went sideways. The parents break out into arguing and fighting, kids are crying, witnesses are like security has to intervene. And it's a dramatic example, but it's a really powerful point because children see how we handle conflict as adults. Even when the stakes feel small, what we model as adults matter. It matters, and quite visibly it matters because you've met, if you're a teacher, if you worked in a school in any capacity, I know I have witnessed this myself. You see how kids are resolving conflict in your classroom at the playground, music class, whatever, PE, right? Whatever the age. And you're like, oh my goodness, you know, you're talking to them, you're trying to like get them to think through some things or whatever. And then you meet the parents. They're like, oh, it all makes sense. If you're an educator, I know you have experienced that before. So it really does matter, parents who are who are listening, and I take this, you know, for myself as well as a mom, how we model conflict resolution, it really does matter because our kids are watching. So in this episode, I'm gonna talk about how kids learn to resolve conflicts with peers, and then what it takes for schools and parents, what they need to do, what they need to avoid, and how it can shift from making from helping kids react to respond. Because those are two very different things, and we're gonna talk about that in tonight's episode as well. So let's start by exploring how parents sometimes model conflict poorly, because those are the lessons, again, that kids absorb. So, just as I mentioned, that kindergarten graduation in Arkansas turned chaotic with parents physically fighting in school hallways while their kids were watching, which is just mind-blowing to me because that's just crazy that adults can act like that. That kind of adult conflict in front of children can normalize aggressive responses. Kids see the yelling, they see the pushing, they see how everything escalates. And it sends a message to them about what's allowed when there's disagreement. And you probably don't want your kid to react that way from a simple disagreement. Because if you think back to the kindergarten graduation, what could they really be arguing about? These are five-year-olds, maybe they've turned six already, they're graduating kindergarten, everybody's there to celebrate. So, whatever the issue was, it probably was minimal. That was a story from the New York Post. So if you want to go check that out, look it up. It just blows my mind. But on a more creative note, there was a mom that parents.com reported that went viral by teaching her kids to battle rap instead of physically fighting. Even though this is pretty unconventional, it's a really good example, I think, of redirecting conflict energy into expression rather than escalation. And the whole point is that kids are absorbing something from adult conflict, either a blueprint for chaos or a blueprint for calm repair. So I like that battle rap idea. I don't know that that would be my default because I have no rap skills. But I think that's pretty, pretty cool of that mom to think of that. Like, hey, instead of going back and forth with these kids and getting to a fight, battle rap them. Um, you know, it's worth a try. Um, there is research that backs up constructive versus destructive conflict. There was actually a study from the University of Illinois that found in households where fathers use constructive conflict strategies like open communication, compromise rather than criticism, those kids showed better social emotional outcomes in this research study. So, in other words, conflict isn't inherently harmful, but how adults handle it does matter. We can't protect our kids from conflict. That's just not the real world. So if you're one of those helicopter parents who, you know, want to, you know, protect their child from conflict with any peers or, you know, not so friendly peers, it's impossible. They're gonna have conflict with someone. So teaching them how to handle it and not trying to put them in a bubble to never experience it is gonna be the better thing. And and that research study about fathers made me really think about uh outing that I had with my son and some of his friends from school. We it's like a family event outdoors here locally where I live, and the kids were playing with some other kids, football, and as things tend to do with boys and competitive sports, it didn't get physical to the pushing, but it got to the point where the kids were coming back to the parents, like this one said this, this one pushed this person, all this stuff. And instead of parents in their own corners just listening to their kids and then reacting, and okay, well, let me go handle this or pushing the child, you don't let him push you. You you go over there and you take care of it. The parents actually brought the kids together, and the dads in the group facilitated this conversation. Now we're talking about seven or eight little boys, black boys, and these black dads are there and facilitating this conversation about how you can talk through what the issue is. You don't have to get loud, put your hands on each other, talk through. Hey man, I didn't like when you did this. Yo, bro, don't do this. I don't like that, and use your words instead of having it escalate. And by the end of the dad having the conversation, which by the way, he started out the conversation with the boys by saying, Oh, y'all mad at each other? Let me go to the car and get my boxing gloves because I keep them in the car and y'all can dupe this out right now. And most of the boys were like, Yeah, let's do it. He was like, No, I was joking. Y'all aren't about to fight, but this is what we are gonna do. We're gonna talk through this. And he gave them some good tools. And by the end of the conversation, those boys were exchanging Roblox names and phone numbers and email addresses to stay in touch with each other, and then later on played again with each other with football. That whole situation could have gone way left if the parents had not set the example. And I think that's just a really good illustration of the power of parenting. It does take a presence of mind because I know for me as a parent, I tend to react versus respond so time sometimes. So, with each of those kind of cautionary tales and that research data in mind, and the little story that I just shared with you about kids out playing football, I want to pivot to how children should learn conflict resolution and what the role of social emotional learning is in it. Because I'm sure that you have heard that term before. S E L, social emotional learning. If you haven't, we have go back to the archives of Tuesday Talks. We have lots of episodes about, you know, emotional regulation, social emotional learning, you know, social awareness, relationship building, all those things that kind of fall under that big umbrella of social emotional learning. So go back and check that out if you're not familiar with it. But SEL can really be broken down into five core competencies, so five core kind of topics: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making. This is helping kids learn skills when conflict arises. And truthfully, it's not used as much as I think it should be in schools because you're teaching kids how to notice for themselves. When am I getting mad? When do I feel my heart racing? When do I feel like I'm ready to like buck up to somebody? That self-awareness piece. It helps them regulate that impulse, teaching them, you know, pause, breathe, think about the choices you're about to make and if it's worth it. It also lets them see things from another kid's perspective. Like, you know, I did bump into this kid, so he probably thought I was being rude, but really I just wasn't paying attention to where I was going. So let me not buck up because he's giving me some mean muggy look from across the room. Do you know what I mean? It also helps with communication to repair relationships through words, and then it helps them choose an outcome that works for themselves and the person that they're having conflict with. So when those SEL skills are underdeveloped, kids are more likely to react, meaning they snap, they lash out, they shut down. But when SEL is stronger, those kids are more able to respond thoughtfully. And think about those five core kind of tenets that I talked about. As an adult, we have to learn those ourselves. We have to learn to be self-aware. We have to learn how to manage ourselves, how to be socially aware, how to build those relationships with others, and then how to make responsible decisions. And so when we talk about reacting versus responding, we're talking about the difference between an immediate, impulsive, emotional reaction that often escalates a situation versus responding, which is it requires intentional, calm, communicative, you know, interactions that's really aimed at repairing or resolving a situation. So here's a really good example. Reacting would be someone, a kid responding like, you always ruin my games. I hate you, right? You're talking to a friend, and that's what you say, and that could escalate somebody. You just yelled at me, you tell me what I'm always doing, you're accusing me of something. That could really prompt another kid to respond in a way that does not help the situation. Responding in that situation would sound more like, you know what, man, I didn't like when you changed the rules of the game midway through. That wasn't cool. Like, can we talk about what's fair? Because that that wasn't cool, right? Very different. You ruined my games, I always hate you. You know, you always ruin my games, I hate you, versus talking about what it is you didn't like and figuring out a way to resolve the situation. There's that shift from reaction to responding that really is at the heart of conflict resolution. So think back if you're a teacher, you've seen kids on the playground, you're watching them out there, and you can see things getting a little tense, right? And you can probably peg kids who you feel like are good conflict resolvers versus those that you know might either be like a little potster, they just like get stuff going, or ones that just snap immediately without really thinking about it. And so, like I talked about at the top of the episode, parents can really help model that healthy conflict resolutions. Of course, teachers have a part in that as well. And that SEL, that social emotional learning is not something that's relegated just to happening at school. Those five core tenets can be taught at home as well. Maybe not in a very formal way, like this is how we build relationships, this is how we're self-aware. Not like that, but in the modeling is how parents can teach the social emotional learning. But remember, you can't teach what you don't know. And so if you find yourself being very reactive, you might have to do some internal work first as a parent before you can teach your kid, hey, don't react like that. That's not helpful. So kids don't live in bubbles, we cannot protect them from conflict. They see how we argue, how we repair a situation that has gone awry, how we internalize those methods. And as parents, we can really um help become powerful models for conflict resolution. And I'm gonna share some ways that that you can do that. Narrating your process when there's tension with your partner, a sibling, a coworker, a friend, whoever, verbalize in front of your kids what you're doing, right? Like it might sound something like this I'm so frustrated. Oh my gosh. Or your grandma is driving me nuts. You might keep it real with them. I'm gonna take a deep breath and calm down before I talk to them. And let me take a minute before I answer their phone call or respond to the email, whatever the case is, you're narrating your process, you're using words that describe how you feel, and then you are giving your child a window into emotional regulation. You are gonna narrate your process, and it's okay to do that. Keep it as real as you want with your kid. You know what your kid can handle. Can your is your kid older? Can they handle you verbalizing and narrow narrating your process with a few curse words? Your kid younger, you don't curse in front of them, and so you use more colorful adjectives, whatever the case may be, you personalize it for you and the relationship you have with your kid, right? Next, you can pause, but don't plunge. And what I mean by that is when emotions run high, step away. Take 30 seconds, count to five, breathe, return when you're calmer. Kids learn that conflict doesn't demand an immediate explosion. You've seen people walk away and be like, they are trying to regulate their emotions, their reaction is wanting them to do something different, and they're trying not to react. And that is what you can show your kids that you're doing. It's it's not to say you can't get mad and blow up in front of your kids. If you do, you need to repair it. You need to talk about, hey, you know what? Probably shouldn't have done that. Could have handled that better and talk about how you could have handled it better. Um, parents, you can also use I statements and avoid blame. So saying, like, I feel upset when this happens instead of you make me angry, right? Use those I statements. Show how to take ownership of the feeling instead of directing blame. You make me fill in the blame, versus saying, I feel like this when this happens, those are two very different things, and kids will eventually hear you and see you using that method and using those I statements, and then they'll start to use them as well. Kids are sponges, we all know that they pick up everything that we do, everything that we say, they are picking up on it, especially the not so good stuff. That seems to stick a little bit more sometimes in the good. So we really have to do this on a repeated basis, it's not a you know, one and done type thing. Um, you know, I talked about this just a few seconds ago. Nobody's perfect. So if you lose your temper, say, you know, my bad, I shouldn't have snapped like that. That was not my best. Now let's talk through it a little bit more calmly. Truth be told, I've had to do that with my own son. Like, you know what? Um, after I've calmed down, going to him and being like, um, so yeah, earlier, let me tell you, that was that that was not the way that I should have responded to that situation. I should have done an insert what was the better way to handle that situation. And be honest, like maybe you took some anger that you were feeling about a totally different situation and took that out on your kid. How many times has your kid been tired or hungry and snapped at you and it had nothing to do with what you were doing, it wasn't valid, and you like, yo, you're hungry and sleepy, so don't let your moodiness right now cause you to make a choice that gets you in trouble, right? Like you're taking out your frustration on being tired and hungry on me, and that's a no-go, right? However, you say that to your kid, but you have to model that for them. You know what? I was so upset at work today. So when I picked you up from after school care, whatever, and I snapped at you about whatever, it really didn't have anything to do with you. I just was super frustrated from the work day that I had, and and you deserve better. Talking through it that way. Um, coaching instead of rescuing. So when kids come with peer conflict, don't always step in to fix it. And this is a struggle of mine. Ask your kid, what did you want to happen? What do you want to happen in this situation? What are some ideas you have about resolving this conflict? Which ones might feel fair for both of you? Which resolution might feel fair to you and your friend or you and this person that is clearly not your friend? I don't um, you know, I'm not starting to brawl at any event at all. That's not my personality. But when my kid comes home and it's like, you know, my kid's he's nice, he gets along with everybody. And so when he comes home and tells me somebody is acting ugly to him, one of his friends said your mom's a what do you call it, a drugaholic or something, and it it upset my son. So he comes and he tells me, and you know, my first thing is next time at pickup, I want you to point him out. Not so I can say anything to the kid, but I just want to lay eyes on him. That's all. I just want to see him. I want to pick up on any vibes that I can, and I've had to stop myself from stepping in to fix it. Like, hey, next time when you go to school, say or do this. Next time, tell the teacher this, next time, you know, I was giving the solutions and I had to take a step back from that and stop trying to come to the rescue and fix it and instead be a coach to talk through it. Did that, you know, when they said that to you, did it really make you feel some kind of way, or were you just like whatever? And if he's like, whatever, even though I might be feeling some kind of way about it, let it go. It's not mine to worry about. If it did upset him, then okay, let's talk through you know what happened. What can you do next time it happens? And we talk about, you know, keeping your hands to yourselves and all that stuff, but you're acting as a guide and not as the decider. That was a big lesson for me. So hopefully, if it that's a big lesson for you, then that is helpful as well because modeling healthy relationships is strongly relinked to the social skills of our kids and healthy peer interactions. That is research from child and development. Um, also, parent education in high conflict settings is being emphasized in public health and developmental strategy to reduce negative impacts in children. And that is, you know, from a study that was done with the NIH. So when we as parents can model those healthy conflict resolution skills, those healthy relationship building skills, we are really inviting our kids into a space of practice. And modeling is essential. But kids need space to practice too. And if we're keeping them in a bubble trying to prevent them from ever experiencing conflict, we're not giving them that opportunity to practice. They're watching us practice, or they should be, but they're not given the opportunity to practice if you're always stepping in and being the decider. And so, for better or worse, school is the perfect place where practice can happen. They spend so much time in schools, and that's where conflict amongst peers really happens, right? That's where they're in their social circles, and somebody says something about you or your mama or whatever. And so, schools have a real opportunity here, in my opinion, also a responsibility to teach conflict resolution across levels because it's gonna look different at elementary, middle school, and high school. The issues kids are dealing with are different at those three levels. I've said to my kid many times he's having conflict, he's upset about something, and in my mind, I'm like, oh my gosh, this is such third grade drama. I I cannot deal with this. Like, please, there are worse things that could be going on, and you worried about that. Not minimizing, I never say that out loud, but in my mind, that's where I'm at. And I have to resolve that in my head first before I can give out any coaching to help resolve the conflict. But if you are a teacher in K-5, so kindergarten through fifth grade, those morning circles allow kids to express their emotions, share their worries, and talk about conflicts early on before they escalate. So using that time morning circle, or if you have morning meetings with your class, um, teaching those I statements at the elementary level is gonna be really important too. I feel blank when you blank because blank. I feel sad when you yell because it makes me feel unsafe. That's a great I statement and giving them simple scripts, modeling it, practicing it. And as a speech therapist in the schools when I would do a lot of modeling, practicing in real time usually sticks with the kids differently than practicing it always in like a role play situation. Yes, tensions are running high, and this is, you know, I'm working with kids who are working on social skills. So these I statements come in really handy. But teaching them in a very structured way through role play, it can help to a point because you know you can have all the resources in the world, but when some stuff pops off and those emotions are running high, all that that you knew can go out the window and your default kicks in. So intervening and teaching and using these I statements and simple scripts in the moment, I think you get more bang for your book. But there is a place for role modeling outside of the actual conflict, too. And then if you have any social contracts in your classroom, create those with your class. Those co-created class norms for respect, listening, handling disagreements. You can always come back to as a teacher. Hey, as a class at the beginning of the school year, we said we were gonna do this, this, and this. And we, these were our contracts for the class. And so you went against what we all decided on as a group. And it helps the class hold the student accountable and helps students kind of see where they went away from what they had all decided as a group. And then, of course, any peer mediators, an older kid, um, maybe your fifth graders come down to kindergarten and talk with them and book buddies and all that stuff that happens, and maybe they could talk with the child who is more reactive than responsive, and talk them through how to maybe handle it better. If you're a middle school teacher, peer mediation groups are really great, those structured systems where students act as mediators. I know for my my kid at his school, they have they call it court. So they have elect the class elected the court, and so if a student breaks uh a rule and gets into conflict and reacts in a non-ideal way, the kid has to come before the court. And those on the court hear arguments from both sides, it's very structured, and then the court takes everything into consideration, and sometimes they have suggested hey, we think you should connect with this student because they can really help you learn how to handle that type of situation next time because they're really good at filling the blank, right? So those peer mediation groups help a lot of times. Kids listen to other kids more so than they hear another adult yapping at them. Um, using some type of conflict resolution criteria could be really great. If your school has a program, you could type that into a simple Google search and get a lot of um of information on that type of curricula. Um, journaling is great. I know a lot of times kids don't want to write. Whatever that struggle is, they're not really into it. But you can do audio recordings. Um, I know a lot of schools give Chromebooks to kids, have them go to Google Docs and just voice to text to get out their thoughts about what happened. How did you feel? What might you do differently next time instead of requiring them to write it out all the time? Um, also some digital conflict management. And that's just talking about cyberbullying, online disagreements, social media drama, the age of cell phones and kids' hands has exacerbated that whole issue. And so there is a space where schools need to talk about digital conflict management too. We're talking here today about a lot of in-person conflict resolution, but that digital conflict management is huge as well. Um, and then some restorative practices, bringing in um, you know, a shared perspective, maybe a reparative talk. Let's all come together and talk about as a group what we could have done differently next time. Now, for the high schoolers, those restorative conflicts and circles could be used for more serious conflicts. And I think that's a great time to involve the school counselor or school psychologist to be a part of those groups. Um, if there are any electives that your school offers, like um covering negotiation, mediation, any interpersonal dynamics, or if that's a passion area for you as an educator, maybe starting up a group. Like um, sometimes they have life skills classes that teach some of those social um skills and talk about the social emotional learning pieces of it. And then also again, student-led initiatives. That's kind of a common thread throughout these three levels of schooling, right? Getting kids that are able to model and talk about how to properly handle situations, how to respond, getting them to lead the groups, the conflict resolution clubs, being those mediators. And then embedding those conflicts into learning, doing a group project on. Conflict protocol, conflict repair, and then having some reflection on it as well. The why this all matters is because when schools embed these practices and students live conflict resolution as part of their school culture, it normalizes respectful responding, overreacting. So when schools have this as a part of the daily school culture, not just when something blows up, then it normalizes this respectfulness and it takes away, oh, well, you know, another kid got into a fight in the hallway. That's that's what happens. Somebody else popped off in class. Ugh, that's just what happens. I think our kids have gotten so numb to some of these things that it just like, yeah, just you know, oh, it was another fight, whatever. And you as a parent are like, what? A fight you want to know more, but your kid is just kind of numb to it. So that's where I think schools can step in and create this conflict resolution being part of the culture and not just, you know, in response to something that happens. So, what can parents avoid doing is just as important as what parents need to know to do, like avoiding and knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do, because even well-meaning tactics can backfire. For example, we talked about overprotecting. If you always jump in to fix the conflicts, kids are never gonna learn to try for themselves to resolve anything. If you're minimizing or invalidating your kids' emotions, saying, Man, that's nothing, stop crying, get over it. It teaches kids to suppress their feelings instead of processing them. Because what, you know, like I talked about, oh, third grade drama, I can't deal with it. That was a couple of years ago. Even now I'm like, oh god, fifth grade drama. This, you know, I got other stuff to worry about. I have more valid things to worry about. But if I minimize what my kid is feeling just because I think it's minimal, that doesn't help them learn how to process their emotions and find a way to either resolve this situation or prevent it from happening again. So we can't invalidate their emotions, and then don't side too quickly. Always siding with your kid can shut down their ability to consider the other person's perspective or even admit that they were wrong. So just because a your kid comes to you and is like, you know, such and such did this, and and I did this, and you're like, good, good job. Maybe talk them through, like, well, what would have happened do you think if you didn't do that? What if they said this to you because of what you did earlier? Get more perspective instead of just siding with them very quickly, helping them think through the other person's perspective. And sometimes just in that conversation, they might come to their own, you know, reckoning that you know what, maybe I did, maybe I did have a part in that. Maybe I provoked that a little bit. Maybe I was part of the problem. That is working towards that social emotional learning. Um, don't model aggression. We talked about that sarcasm. I'm guilty of that. I use a lot of sarcasm. Um, don't model aggression, sarcasm, or passive aggression. So, like yelling, shaming, mocking, kids see that, and then they internalize it and then they can replicate it. I'm guilty of, you know, maybe mocking my kid when I shouldn't have. And in those instances, when, you know, we have a very like playful relationship. So and I see that I've gone too far in the mocking, then I'll dial it back and be like, my bad, I'm sorry. I didn't know this was such a serious situation. Now you have my full attention, and I'm taking it, you know, serious too. So tell me more about it. So I have to like, you know, eat crow a little bit and step back to say, my bad. Um, another thing parents should avoid doing is don't force a resolution too quickly. Give some space for them to process things. Conflict resolution needs time, space, and some reflection and rushing them to repair. You go over there and you say sorry right now. You haven't given them any time to process anything. And is it so important that they go say sorry right now or that they process how they're feeling so that they're saying sorry in an authentic way and not just because you told them to? And that really pertains to younger kids because I've seen parents do that. You go over there and say sorry, you and you take them by the hand, you say sorry, and what do they say? Sorry. To take that time to reflect, even if it's guided reflection where you take them aside and talk to them about the situation and how things could have been handled differently. And then lastly, don't use punishment as your first result. If your response is, I'll punish whoever starts it, kids may start to hide things, lie, or stop communicating honestly. Instead, ask some guiding questions. What went on here? Get the details. You know, if you've ever heard a story from a kid about recounting what happened in a situation, it could be all out of sequence. Definitely could be missing some parts if they're to blame for it. Dig a little bit deeper and then debrief after the conflict and after everybody's calmed down. Like, okay, what would you have done differently in this situation? Let them, you know, give you wrong answers. Don't interrupt. Ah, nope, start over. Let them give you answers that you can then respond to to say, well, what do you think would have been another option? Giving multiple solution options, right? There's more than one way to resolve a conflict, even though it might not be something you would do. If it's valid, it stops things from escalating, your kid feels heard, they're not intruding on anybody else's feelings, then maybe it's a valid solution, even if it's not something that you would have come up with. So it really is important to understand, you know, why we invest all this energy into teaching conflict resolution now, because these are lifelong skills. Adults navigate disagreements constantly at work, in relationships, in the community, at the cash register, on the phone with customer service. And so being a reactive communicator can really sabotage relationships, careers, emotional health. There are some big um uh outcomes that can be tied to how you are handling conflict resolution. But someone who responds really thoughtfully can have healthier relationships, lead more effectively, manage stress better. You know, you don't want to come home and, you know, I got fired today because I went off on my employer. Like, well, now you don't have a job. So um, is that something you want to model for your kid? Just snap and go off, and now you've lost your means of making a living? Not the best thing to model because remember, kids are soaking up everything. So, you know, teaching kids now is building adult capacities for later. Keep that in mind. Your kids are gonna want to be independent. You are gonna want them to be more independent. As a teacher, you're gonna want your students to be more independent. If we're always, as the adult, stepping in to resolve things for them, to force them to a resolution or modeling how to handle conflict in an inappropriate way, then we are just reproducing more of the same. And don't we want the world to be a better place? If I can sound cliche for a minute. So I hope that you found tonight's episode really insightful. What I would like to just encourage you to do is start small. The next time tension arises, pause, narrate your process, let your child see the repair, how you repair the situation. At your child school, ask, do you teach conflict resolution? Like, do you actually teach it? Do kids peer mediate? Share this episode with another parent, with a teacher, because conflict is inevitable. But how kids learn to resolve it is really what makes the difference. So thank you for joining me for another Tuesday talks. Leave me some comments. Um, reach out to me, direct message, share how this episode has resonated with you, has maybe impacted you. Maybe I mentioned some things that you already do and you have seen how it really helps. That would be great to know as well. And letting other people know we need to talk about these things more. This is how I help my kid resolve this situation. Or, you know what, I did this the other day, and that was just not the right thing to do. Talking about it in your parent group to family members because it drops little nuggets of reflection in them and hopefully starts to get them to think about how they're modeling appropriate conflict resolution as well. So, thank you again for joining me for another Tuesday talks. I'm here every Tuesday. Be sure to check out all past episodes and set your notifications for upcoming episodes because I'll be here every Tuesday. And I hope to see you next week. Bye. Be sure to share this episode and join me next week for a brand new Tuesday talks. See ya.