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Tuesday Talks!
Join me for weekly discussions about ALL things education...from preschool through high school! As a mom, Speech Language Pathologist, and educator, I share my personal experiences related to each week's topic in relatable and informative ways.
My message about education is powerful: Reflecting on what is and making waves to cause change!
Tuesday Talks!
Breaking Free: One Mom's Journey to Homeschooling (Encore)
Send us your thoughts about this week's episode!
What drives a parent to make such a significant change? For Danita, a mother who made the bold decision to withdraw her eight-year-old daughter from a public charter school in favor of homeschooling, it wasn't one dramatic incident but a pattern of concerning observations. The charter school's focus on behavioral compliance seemed to overshadow actual learning.
The homeschool journey hasn't been without challenges. Three weeks into their homeschooling adventure, Danita candidly shares her daughter's need redirection and motivation strategies at home. This required creative solutions: dedicated learning spaces, visual to-do lists, reward systems, and working ahead to prevent falling behind.
Yet amidst these adjustments, beautiful transformations are emerging. "Emotionally, she is more herself," Danita observes, noting how her daughter's spirit and love of learning are rekindling after being dimmed in the traditional setting. Perhaps most refreshing is Danita's honesty about the future. "I don't know that we will continue homeschool," she admits. Her approach reminds us that educational choices needn't be permanent—they can evolve as we learn what works best for our unique children.
Listen as we explore the challenges, unexpected benefits, and practical considerations of stepping outside the traditional educational system to prioritize a child's individual needs.
Be sure to download, like, follow, subscribe, and share so that you can help others find this important conversation about educational alternatives!
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Tuesday Talks is hosted by Dr. Tiffany. She has been a Speech/Language Pathologist for 20 years. She's also a speaker and educational consultant. Dr. Tiffany hosts webinars and in-person workshops for teachers and parents.
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Welcome to Tuesday Talks, your educational podcast helping parents become strong advocates for their kids and teachers to make big impacts in the classroom. Here we go. Welcome, welcome everybody. This is another Tuesday Talks. Thanks for joining me. Go ahead and hit the like button, the follow, the subscribe, all those social media things. Do those things. You are going to want to share this episode because we have an amazing topic tonight. I have a really great special guest for us as well. We are going to be talking about social emotional learning, which you may have heard referred to as SEL. You know, education loves its acronyms. So of course there's one for social emotional learning. And we are going to dive into that topic. And I think if you haven't heard of it, you are going to see how it is woven into every aspect of a child's school day. And if you have heard of it, I hope that you're going to learn some ways that it can be implemented in the classroom and also extended at home as well. I have a really great guest tonight. Like I said, um, his name is Corey Green. He is a family advocate for Head Start. I've said here on the show many times, Head Start has a special place in my heart. I love the littles, the three, the four-year-olds, the ones who come up, give you a hug, the ones who want to tell you all about their day, things that you may or may not be interested in, those ones that will literally dig right up their nose in front of you and wipe it on the table with love. Those are the kids that have that special place in my heart. So Corey is a family advocate for Head Start. He right now is over two classrooms for three-year-olds. And over the span of his 10 years in public schools, he has been a teaching assistant in classrooms for students with behavioral challenges. He's also led mental health groups and group homes for children. And he really does walk the talk each and every day in the classrooms, in the centers where he does his work for Head Start. So without further ado, I'm gonna bring on our guest, Corey Green. Welcome, Corey.
SPEAKER_01:Good afternoon, uh, Dr. Tiffany. Thank you for this wonderful opportunity to discuss this uh amazing and tremendous topic. I am honored and humbled to be here and be in your presence. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, no, thank you. I always I don't take it um lightly when people say yes to being a guest. It takes out time of your day, and I'm really glad that you're able to join and share some of your expertise in social emotional learning. So, just to start, for those who may not know what social emergency emotional learning is, haven't heard of it before, or maybe have only heard of it referred to as SEL. What is social emotional learning?
SPEAKER_01:So, social emotional learning, ladies and gentlemen, it's a procedure involving skills to manage emotions and strengthen relationships. And as we go through the show, we're looking at some various components and skills that I have done along with other colleagues, both in the public school system as well as where I'm currently at as a family advocate with children and with the families we serve to ensure that they're getting the proper resources and reaching their goals at this time.
SPEAKER_00:I really love that social emotional learning is a part of Head Start because, like you just said, it is all about managing your emotions. And I know for me as an adult, it can be challenging to manage my emotions sometimes. So imagine in such a little body, a three-year-old, a four-year-old, where they're having all of these big feelings and they don't really know how to manage it, what to do with those feelings. So I know social emotional learning has a few key components. And you know, today I wanted us to talk about self-awareness and those relational relationship building skills because I felt like those were two that were really important for kids, not just in Head Start, but all the way up through high school, even into college, even some adults as well, because that self-awareness, like I just mentioned, I have trouble sometimes managing my emotions. I have to be self-aware of that fact that I have trouble managing my emotions, and then, you know, know how to move forward in that. So, what are self-awareness and relationship building skills?
SPEAKER_01:So, first of all, let's just dive into uh self-awareness is knowing your own thoughts, knowing your own emotions connected to the environment that you're in, the various settings you go through, different classrooms. So, again, from as low as three years old up to, as you said, even college, you know, we're all going through different and various changes. And so those changes and nuances can be a little bit, you know, scary for some people who are just natural social skill persons and they can just blend in anywhere. And you know, everybody's like, I want to be like them in this capacity, but at the same time, those that have good social skills on this side, they there's some areas that they have to work on as well.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:And so, um, and how it relates to relationships. So, with a three-year-old, let's just go there, with a three-year-old, with those, with them having big emotions, first of all, my first time in a school setting. I don't know who the teachers are. This is not daycare where I know Miss So-and-so and Mr. So-and-so since the age of one. Uh, yes, they want to come in and let you know I'm an alpha boy, alpha girl, you you know, various uh statements that they make. And so to the professionals, we have to just realize, hey, we were once that age too. Right. How you approach them is, you know, Monday, they may listen to you, and the rest of the week, they may not. So it's up to us as professionals just to understand that no day is the same, but always show love and remind them how important they are, you know, in the world and they're gonna be the next big thing, things of that nature, and that will over time get them to say, Oh, Mr. Green thinks I'm gonna be a doctor. Don't you see I'm making mess? Or you know, Miss Williams, Miss Johnson, they think I'm gonna be a teacher. I'm not listening to them, so kids are not gonna listen to me. And they say these things, so it's like, wow.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think that's so important too, because you just mentioned like just showing love to the to the kids. And I know as a as a teacher, you know, having worked in the school myself as a speech therapist, teachers y'all face a lot every day, even if you're not a teacher in a classroom, if you just work in the school building, there are so many things that go on throughout the day that could just take you out of the moment, and you may respond to a kid in a certain way just because of other stressors that you have. But showing that love to kids is so important, it does set the tone. Um, one thing I think my son's school does really well in the morning. There are teachers outside greeting the kids, they have music playing, the teachers are upbeat, they're welcome, welcoming them by name, they're saying good morning to the parents, just something that small brings a different tone as the kids enter the school building.
SPEAKER_01:You're absolutely correct. Uh they feel welcomed, yeah. They want to do right by you, right? At least for and it's up to us to enjoy those first five to ten minutes. Hey, and I've also learned with as I'm learning with uh the three-year-olds and four-year-olds, our pre-K students, the biggest thing is give them a job, give them assignments. Their energy uh turns so electrified because then they get to tell their dad and mom when they come pick them up. I was the line leader, I helped serve breakfast, and it minimizes some of the uh behaviors that they may show uh during various uh settings, like music and movement, again, preparing for our meals, uh getting ready to go because we all have routines. Right. And so with those, but when they say I get to be the line leader for the first two days, you know, seeing that joy, you know, come out of them, it inspires us and impacts us to say, yeah, okay. Yeah, you know, and then they and then they execute.
SPEAKER_00:Definitely, definitely. So knowing that social emotional learning, you know, those two of those key components, that self-awareness and that relationship skill building, knowing that that is such a big focus today in education, can you kind of just talk about where that shows up in a child's school day? That self-awareness piece, if you've seen, if you've witnessed an example of a kid, you know, not having the self-awareness piece and having the self-awareness piece as well as those relationship building skills in the classroom.
SPEAKER_01:So let me start with public school first, then. So with public school, uh I had the opportunity to work with kindergartners two years ago, and that was definitely a grand experience. So you're talking about children who have their emotions all over the school, inside of the classroom. Again, for some, it's still their first time in a school setting without daddy or mama. Just some of the things I have witnessed go as follows. Um, a lot of screaming may happen, uh, a lot of bragging from some of the boys. They think they can just go anywhere and they're gonna be the man, even at the age of five or six years old. And so you see that because it stems from one of their parents. I mean, we are a chip of old block of our parents. We pick up those bannerisms inside of our DNA and our bannerisms, so it's like, yeah, I can tell you're a daddy's guy, you know, you do everything dad says, and you come in here and we'll just you want to fix the desk or you want to, you know what I'm saying? And so, and sometimes we allow them to draw how they feel. Uh, and then most children, and then when we ask them if they feel sad, what caused it? And then they'll say, you know, little Johnny was throwing the crayons at me during, you know, art, during art time, and um little Johnny just says he doesn't want to be my friend. And so now, you know, in this example, Mike is little Mike is just in tears and can't believe it. Now he thinks nobody wants to be his friend, right? Right, right. So we as adults have to then find uh various avenues to foster their concerns and let them know they're okay. And then we've asked them questions like, Hey, what can we do to win back little Johnny's friendship? And some will say, I don't want to be his friend no more. He got rid of me, so he's got to accept it too. That would be me as a kid.
SPEAKER_00:Like, once you cut ties with me, but so yes, man.
SPEAKER_01:And so uh, you know, for a while you'll go with it just to say, okay, because there are other students that they can play with, uh, but then you'll you'll still see some kids really want to be with the popular child or whomever that may be. And so they may cut them off or exterminate them for just 24 hours. Right. Uh the next day they're gonna be back at each other's faces, high five and smiling. Will you sit by me? Those types of things. And so, as uh adults, then we intervene, or some of them uh on their IEP plan, they'll have uh uh educational specialist that'll come by who works with them. And they also do a lot of charting. And what I've come to find out is when educational specialists does the charting, they email the teacher and teacher assistant so that we can then say, okay, when little Johnny is doing this, or when little Mike is doing this, or little Stella is saying, You can't tell me what to do. Well, we know, we know Stella, we just can't today, but at this moment, but let's redirect that and understand because Stella's self-awareness, self-awareness, she understands who she is, right? And she's very upfront, she's vocal, and we we as adults and professionals have to be able to kind of like okay, hey, we have three girls who can speak very fluently, we have six girls who just gonna look at you, we have six boys who are gonna speak fluently, and we have six boys who are gonna turn their back to you, yeah. And so throughout an educational day, uh it's challenging, it's exciting because sometimes when we win the children, when we when they the children feel like they won, we all celebrate. We make it like a big clashroom thing. We say, Yay, little Mike came out of his shot shield and he went to go to the swings and he swung a little bit and played with the monkey bars, and you know, and that's that day. But again, every day is not the same.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I love that example when you said, you know, the one student is gonna tell you exactly what they're thinking, what they're feeling, that that is just a reflection of their level of self-awareness. I realize that I have a voice and I want to use it, and I think a lot of times teachers and even the smallest kids they butt heads because some teachers, some not all, want to put a child in a child's place, so to speak. We've always heard that saying before.
SPEAKER_01:And that would be me as a behavior as a disciplinary, yes. I'm not gonna let you just run over the classroom. Right, yeah, and there's that respect your leadership skills, but that's it.
SPEAKER_00:It's that line between the leadership skills and that child's level of self-awareness, and then teaching them what crossing that line looks like because you don't want to diminish their level of self-awareness, those kids who just in inherently come with it, you don't want to diminish that, but then you also have to let them know okay, this is crossing the line over into being disrespectful, over into maybe earning a consequence. And so I feel like as teachers, as you get to know your students in the classroom, then that is how you can personalize your approach to them based on their level of self-awareness. And I like the way you also talked about celebrating the student that maybe is kind of shy, but actually went over to a group of kids at recess or during centers and put himself into the play situation that was going on or the learning situation that was going on, and celebrating that with that kid too, to give that student an understanding of what relationship building actually looks like, what that little step could be, and that leads to another step and possibly another step.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, and they receive the celebratory remarks and the high fives and raise your hands. Um, and so then they then it's to start that I can, I believe in myself. And yes, we as educators and uh again, family advocates, we have to, as a family advocate, we have to uh reassure that our teachers are doing those things. Uh, I'm blessed to be able to have some seasoned teachers at head start, so I'm pretty good in that department. However, with a new again, teachers who've been over there 20, 25, 30 years, they understand, hey, this is a new class. Right. And the way that some of them prepare is just amazing. But again, the celebratory remarks, the love is right at the door, day one. And they don't force uh a due date on when that's gonna happen. However, they let the children know, you know, what's gonna happen with the classroom setting. Hey, you can play toys, and of course, August, even with middle school, all the way up, August is just that month of learning routines, yeah, you know, uh, learning structure, learning where the where we would do our music and motion uh part, where we would go to the uh kitchen to area, where we go to science lab and different things that they call it, so that they can know where to go. And then we show them, hey, this is our route, this is our schedule. You know, they don't understand schedule, they just really go to the toys, no way at that age at three and four. But again, August, as you are pruning the children to get them to realize, yes, we're gonna go to each station. Sometimes we will go in groups of like three or four. Uh and it, but it takes time for them to understand it because that's also a way that we use to teach for, you know, they'll say one, two, three, four, they'll look at you. Oh, four boys, hey, we can go here, yay, you know, so forth and so on. So we do a variety of blending in the midst of our social emotional learning skill sets.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I love that you mentioned that first month back at school is really about like learning the routine for this new classroom. And so if we even think of a kid going from second to third grade and learning that new third grade, because that's a big jump, second to third grade is right in the same elementary school, but the expectations of a third grader are very different from that of a second grader. So if you have a student going from middle school to high school for the first year, we think of those as really impactful kind of jumps um in a child's educational career, but that jump from being at home with mom, dad, or grandma, grandpa or auntie, or being in daycare and coming into kindergarten is huge. That is huge because if your kid has been at home with you or a family member, they probably have just been doing what they want to do all day. And now they're going from that reality into the reality of we do this at this time for this long, and then we move to this. We don't just go about the classroom, you know, however we feel, we move in a very organized, routine-based fashion. And I think that's something for parents to really think about, especially if it's your first child. Even if your kid is at home with you, building in that routine helps them learn some of that self-awareness, I think, in my in my opinion, that self-awareness that, hey, when I get ready to stop doing this and my mom or dad tells me I have to do this, I get really angry. That's a learning moment for the parent, too. Like, hey, let's let's talk about this transition. What is it that's making you so angry when you have to stop doing this and move on to that? And as a parent or a daycare provider, you can dig a little bit more, but having kids experience that emotion really helps build up that self-awareness. So when they get into kindergarten, they can manage it a little bit more. We're not asking them to come in and be perfect, right? Because they're little, these emotions are gonna be big, they're gonna rise up really quick, and the next thing you know, something's flying across the room or somebody's on the floor having a tantrum. But I do think that that precursor to kindergarten, whatever you're doing for your kid before kindergarten is so important that it includes some routines, some transitions, some non-preferred activities with preferred activities, because that pretty much sums up a school day. And I've seen where kids who have a hard time adjusting, it impedes their ability to build relationships with their peers in that classroom. Because now you're known as the kid who falls out on the floor screaming and crying, or who chucks something across the room. And other kids they don't want to be around that. And now you have a kid who may feel isolated because yesterday they were having a moment, but today they're good, they want to play, but other kids might shy away from that. So I feel like that's a teaching moment too for those um students as well.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. See, that's the beauty of all of us. We all have our stresses, and the awareness component is just in every aspect of our life. So you were spot on with the jump from pre-K to kindergarten. Uh, real short, I just remember the first day of school in kindergarten, and we had the there were three girls who got there first, and all three of them saw me as a guy six foot two, and it was like, Mommy, I'm not going in there, right? All so now I'm trying to, in my head, I'm trying to be cool. I'm just I'm just tall, guys. I can't help now. You're just five years old, okay? You know, but I had I was also respecting their awareness of that, and as they came in with their parents, the parents modeled, hey, this is all you have to do. They walked up to me as as well as my uh Ms. Valentine, my lead teacher, and they shook my head. So we as adults, we can't just think that everybody's if you're a person who is just very confident around people, that's just who you are. Everybody's not like that. So, yes, I had to get on their level. So I said, do we do high five? No, fist bump, no. So I automatically recognize you're a little girl, you don't want to be touched, right?
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_01:You see what I'm saying? So I just scaled back. I felt not offended by it, but adults sometimes are, and that's the difference between like our parents' generation versus ours. You know, we could hug anybody, they hug, they loved on us, but these kids they're at home on a consistent basis. Then how can I be reassured you're going to be my safe space while in this educational setting?
SPEAKER_00:Right. And that is such an important note, too, that the teachers are there to set that tone as this is a safe space. All the people that work in the school or the Head Start um center, they're there to set that tone that this is such a safe place. And so, for teachers, from your perspective as family advocate, what are some ways that you build relationships with the students that go beyond academics? Like you just mentioned here, recognizing fist bump, high five. This little girl was like, mm-mm, that's not that's not my thing. I don't want to do that. And so, how do you work to build those relationships and and help kids build those relationships that go beyond just the academic piece?
SPEAKER_01:Sure. So I've learned, and it's not always again, everything is a hundred percent. So I've learned on certain days. Um if it's a guy or a girl that is bashful or um again doesn't want to be touched, you know, I just say, okay, hey, for the boys, I'll say, hey, can we build some blocks? Would you like to build something? And they'll say, I can build a house. So now I got you. While building the house, I'm gonna teach it, you know, a variety of skills, having the foundation. If our foundation is not strong, what's gonna happen? And then some kid will come over and knock it off, and then everybody's mad. We have to re regroup. Right? Um, same, same in uh in this public school system. Uh, I also use yeah, I also use the game Jenga.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, Jenga. I like Jenga.
SPEAKER_01:So I use I for me, I use a variety of games uh to teach skill sets with behaviors, with even academics. And then uh for high school students that I've worked with over the years of college, I've I've used that game as well to say, hey, well, just because we get knocked down, does that mean we give up? You know, you might be in your 30s and your 40s, you say, I'm not where I want to be in my life. Okay, it's okay to go back to ground zero and make some adjustments. But three-year-olds letting them see that, hey, the same child knocked over my house, but guess what? Me and you still get to do it again.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, maybe by the end of the week I'll get the fist bump. So that's the goal for the advocates and teachers. While recognizing that, hey, so when their parents come to pick them up, I look at the interaction. Hey, how you doing, baby? And baby's like so baby's been like this right then, seven hours. Okay, so I mean, I recognize there's some home dynamics, it may not be a lot of love in their home. Hey, there are parents our age that did not get love.
SPEAKER_00:Right, right.
SPEAKER_01:There were parents our age who never heard a daddy say or mom say, I love you. Right, you're special. So we have to realize that, hey, not only is this child this way, their parents were that way, or one parent was that way. You know, it's it's just like uh you know a day relationship too. If a lady's not being used to being courted, right, or you know, and even if she is, it's like after three dates of or three relationships that just didn't work out, right? Here you and here comes Mr. You know, gonna save the day. Some women are like, Well, when are you gonna hit me? Right, it's that trauma that's so that but the trauma starts you know in the womb, right? No, it really does, and then it flow and it, you know, it flourishes. So we as professionals, we have to either be the current resource or we connect them to outside resources because we just don't have all the answers. We have to use our school our tools within our setting, but then that then the advocate inside of me kicks in and says, Okay, hey, let me reach out to these churches or this program here and see if we can't connect them because most of the services are free, right?
SPEAKER_00:Which is impressive. I think that's such a big point, too, because it can't just be school and home, they can't function completely independent of one another because what goes on in one impacts what goes on in the other. And then we also have that third piece, the community piece, too, because there are so many resources in the community that go beyond what a school can actually provide, or even has the professional staff there to provide. So I think that's so important. And I know, like, we're talking a lot about younger kids, because you know, that's my passion. And I know you work in Head Start, but I know in your background you have worked with kids who have um emotional disturbances, and in those classrooms, if you're a teacher entering that setting for the first time, these kids are now maybe fifth grade, maybe older. How are you building relationships with them when they've already been in either a self-contained classroom, are known throughout the school to be, you know, the troublemaker? How do you go about creating the relationships with those students to help build those relationships with them and help them build relationship skills too?
SPEAKER_01:So I usually try to come with a positive phrase. I let them know that you are somebody. Again, they're not may not be receptive to that, but it's my goal to continue to be to repeat it. Gotcha. I do let them know that I'm not going to treat them like a three-year-old unless they act like one. Now I'm catching their attention. I just have to be real with them because a lot of times when they're used to somebody saying uh or getting away with so much, you know, you cannot just change that child in one school year. Right. But you have to be willing to say, hey, I will walk with you. And when you are ready to share anything that's heavy, you can. However, the expectation is while you're with Mr. Green in this behavioral classroom, this ISS uh classroom, this is what needs to happen. If you need help, I'm qualified to assist you. Right. But let's build together and we can go slow.
SPEAKER_00:I like that with you saying pour into them. You are somebody pouring into them, even though you know the look on their face, their nonverbal cues are saying whatever, continuing to pour into them because I do think it it settles in them. And perhaps over the course of a school year, they'll start to believe that at least in one area of their lives. And I know it is so hard because you know, there are a lot of schools that have classrooms specifically for kids who have those emotional and behavioral um disabilities, and those can be the classrooms where you see the most turnover from teachers, because that is super stressful. I cannot even imagine what that school day must be like. But social emotional learning is that something in your experience that has been embedded into a lot of what goes on in those classrooms?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, yes, ma'am. So again, if little Mike, who's now in Middle school. If little Mike was throwing chairs as a three-year-old in head start, now in 19 or 14, he's stronger and still throwing chairs, right? Right. And that's all he knows. I have to professionally show him that I am a man. That this cannot be tolerated. And I do my best to say, hey, if you need to come up and talk to me when you're ready. But and I do a lot of role modeling. I did a lot of role modeling in those classes. And so when the kid said to me, Oh, Mr. Green, that looks so funny. That looks so goofy. That's not right. They they're saying the things that they're identifying the wrong in me in the classroom. Therefore, it's again just like the positive phrases, slowly but surely starting them starting to receive it. If they can identify the wrong, then they know that there are going to be some consequences. Now, I've also learned not to overwhelm them with consequences. Some teachers, even in a classroom with high energy of that magnitude, want to just shut them down. So if I take away something as simple as them listening to their music in their headphones, I mean they can earn to do that. You know, I get a little jealous because I couldn't, but uh on their IEP. Right. But okay, if they bring their headphones, they want to listen to their music the last 10 minutes of the classroom. Then I say, I I don't play less make a deal with them. I show them how they can earn that.
SPEAKER_00:Right. I love the role model piece because I think that helps them build that self-awareness in them. They're watching you role play this, you know, maybe scenario that has happened in class, or maybe it's a scenario that you're, you know, coming up with on your own, but they're analyzing what it is you're doing in that scenario. Even if they're saying it's goofy, it's silly, they have to analyze it first before they can even come up with those terms to describe it, right? So that's helping them build that self-awareness because should you see that same behavior from them later on, you can remind them, hey, remember when I was showing you this and you said that's silly, that looks goofy, that doesn't look like something that you should be doing. You're exhibiting that same thing right now, and it gives them a visual to put with the words that you're telling them. And I feel like, like you just mentioned, we throw a lot of consequences at students, and we're we might be telling them, you know, you're getting this consequence because of this, but we're not tapping into how they have perceived their own actions in that moment, and that's when the change happens, right? When you are able to connect with what you did and why you did it, then there's the potential for change. But if you are so oblivious to what you even did, then how can there be any change? And if consequences were the answer, then we would give a kid a consequence once, and then we wouldn't see that behavior repeated anymore, right? But that's not how it works most of the time.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, also, also, too, when when you're consistent in the role modeling, when you're consistent in the love, when you're consistent in they see you show up every day for school, like they say Mr. Green or Mr. G just doesn't miss, like, and he's just so what how they describe me as you know, they say he's just so upbeat. Like, does he ever sleep? Like, what is this man like? What does he eat? You know, they I'm talking about now. My three-year-olds are saying it because I'm I'm gonna bring the energy. Yeah, when you turn 13 and 14, I'm still going to bring the energy, and over time, uh, when new kids come in that may have transferred even as early as uh three years old to our some of our sister centers, they'll come over, we transfer kids. But in the public school system, they'll say, Yeah, do write by Mr. G or it's just not gonna be right for you. Just do right by Mr. G. Now I got five or six, 13 kids saying to the new kid who's known for throwing chairs, who uh thinks that because they can say a few choice words, that makes them big. Once they say those things, I say, Hey, are you finished? Now let's get ready to learn. Right. And I'm not moved because I'm not moved by their behaviors, I let them know again, you are gonna be somebody.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Let's start the journey now.
SPEAKER_00:I love that. You should make that on a little sticky notepad. Like you are going to be somebody, let's start that journey now. I like that. Such an important point, I think, for teachers because again, the day is filled with so many to-dos. These kindergartners are being benchmarked like from the second week of school, they are being tested to get a benchmark to see you know measurable progress over the school year. And every grade level is like that. You you know, you are pedaled to the metal from the first week of school all the way through state testing. It is just go mode. And so some of the things that we talked about today about setting the tone as they are even entering the room, role um playing with them, giving them those affirmations, pouring into them, celebrating moments where maybe they stepped outside of their comfort zone to try something new, honoring uh their own level of self-awareness while still telling them there is a line there that you shouldn't cross. I think those are all really good practical ways that teachers can embed some of these social emotional learning concepts for self-awareness and relationship building skills into their day. Because what I feel like as soon as you start talking to teachers about, oh, this is a new a new thing, and these are the things that you need to do, it just becomes another task on a very long list of tasks, right? And then you you don't get the buy-in from the teachers because they're like, I'm busy. I'm trying to make sure we are on track with this pacing guide. I'm trying to make sure that everybody's learning the same thing at the same time, nobody's getting left behind, or the ones that are getting left behind, I need to do something special for them. I don't have time to do social emotional learning in the classroom. But even today, we have talked about some of those practical ways to do it, and and it doesn't require a 20-minute session in class solely focused on that. These are things you can weave into any academic lesson, any um, you know, social skills lesson that you might be doing in class, or even outside at recess. And I love that because I think teachers need more practical and applicable ways to implement.
SPEAKER_01:So let me say this right quick, too. Yeah. Oftentimes educators um have this expectation that a child is just supposed to know right from wrong as soon as they enter the classroom. You're setting yourself up to fail as a professional. Uh there it's it's it's practice, it takes time. I mean, from three to eighteen, I mean, you're gonna make a lot of mistakes. And so don't forget that we made those same mistakes too. And somebody was patient with us. So a lot of persons now in our generation, because of you know, state laws and guidelines that are coming out every week, it seems like. Um, yeah, so but now the teachers and family advocates and therapists, we're all overwhelmed. We have to do self, now we go from self-awareness to self-care. Like I have to go for my walks as a family advocate on the job. I go outside and do junk roof, whatever I have to do, because I realize that you know the this hire this CEO saw something they they did in the state of Florida. So now we want to implement it. Right. Right on top of when they're teaching ABCs, they're teaching numbers, they're teaching shapes. Okay, we're in high school, you're doing co you're doing algebra, you're doing U.S. history, but when they're gonna slide, when are they supposed to slide it in? Then when they do slide it in, sometimes those officials uh say don't do it. Now we're frustrated and we're trying to say, well, you just sent a long email, a long we had to participate in the webinar, and now you're saying we're implementing it, and now you're saying cut that back. Right. If the adults are confused, guess what the children are gonna do? They're gonna take advantage of that classroom time because you can smile all you want to, they know when you're confused, right? They do you can hold we can only mask it for so long, yeah. And so then we have to go back to the basics. I have to go back to my foundation. Hey, I signed up for this job, but patience still remains in my number one uh skill you have to have when you're dealing with children. If they don't get it sharing on Monday, they may not get it the entire week because in their mind, that toy belongs to them, right? I mean they own it, okay? And because they have to break the owning while let them know they can't still play with it, right? On top of when new rules come in, I gotta be able to rearrange that and implement that with our three-year-olds, as well as when you get into public school systems and settings, now it's on a greater scale, so it's like thank God for the IEP to a point.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Because I'm gonna get to the point where okay, if what you're saying on the IEP is not working, I've used what you said from an educational standpoint. If it's not working in two weeks, 14 days, then I have to do something. I don't I don't want to bring in my home life, right? But that's when I have to go to the games to show them my home life and to show them what your life is gonna be if you don't stop throwing this toy in the classroom. Like I had to hold a kid for an hour, a three-year-old. He kept saying, he kept saying, Mr. Green, you let me go. I'm gonna lay. You're not gonna lay down, kid. You're gonna go retail the room, right? But I had to do that. Now I had to make sure that he was comfortable. The bed was right next to me, so if I need to kneel down and place him so that I don't get written up, right? You know, because there's strategies with picking up children and how you lay them down, and oh yeah, and you really don't want to pick them up, but if you just have to for a moment, you know, and again, so then that's myself awareness feeling comfortable that I'm executing the professional procedures while ensuring that the classroom setting is safe because health and safety is always number one.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, always. No, I definitely agree with that, and I think that the more that we can embed this into preschools, into elementary, middle, and high school, these social emotional learning um skills. Tonight we just talked about academic or I'm sorry, um, self-awareness and the relationship building skills, I think then you have set a good foundation for the academic piece to then take root better. Because if you have a classroom full of a bunch of students that cannot regulate their emotions, are not self-aware, can build relationships with their peers or their teachers, it just it sets itself up to be a tumultuous school year for everyone. So um, I know we talked about some strategies that teachers can do in the classroom. What are some ways that you've asked or uh suggested to parents that they can do at home to build up their child's self-awareness or relationship building skills?
SPEAKER_01:So, as a again, as a family advocate and as a person who's been a behavioral spec uh support specialist, when I've had those moments where I've been able to actually go into the homes, I encourage the parents to establish times. You know, uh, where can we put this into play? A lot of them are working two and three jobs, and most of them are single parents, so it's gonna be a little bit of a challenge. So I say, can we use Saturday morning if it's your weekend to have the child as well? You had them all week, but now it's the weekend. Hey, let's see what we can do, let's just jot down some ideas. You know, I my goal is to get them spirally in a positive way, just to believe that they can do it, the adults. Okay. And so some things I tell them to do, I tell them to do some journaling. I give them an assignment. I say, I want you to journal what happened over the weekend. Right. And then let's compare that at what happens between Monday through Thursday. And let's see. Now we can identify some problems. Oh, at four o'clock, uh, little Johnny says he don't want to eat apples. He had apples all day from head start. He don't want to eat nothing healthy. I want chips, mama. I want chips. All right, let's give them chips. You give them chips, then ask them, hey, what in your mind, what is it that you really want to accomplish? I want them to clean their room for the weekend. Show them what that looks like. You can't just tell children, go clean your room and you don't participate. Right when they see you saying, Hey, will you help me pull the sheets up? Hey, pass me the pillow. You put yours on the right side, I'm gonna put this on the left side. Hey, the big blanket, you get to show those muscles. Yeah, we're gonna pick it up, and this goes over the sheet. Love that. Wow, look what we did as a team, right? Again, provide them hey, if I tell you to do this, I trust you because I love you enough to do that. But if they're not, if they don't hear it, don't set yourself up for the uh rebuttal that's gonna be negative, right? You we can't see children as a burden, they're a blessing, right? But that's a blessing that you have to teach, coach. Some of my mentors that are still living, I thank God for them because when my dad and mom said something, of course, you know, we don't want to listen to our thing. So you go to, you know, I had a big village between my church, the boys and girls club, you know, everywhere. Um, all of them saying the exact same things that my dad and mom are saying, but it just came off different, right? And once I realized that, oh, well, if Mr. Washington's saying this and Mr. Sprinkle saying this, hey, you can be the best core you can be, but you gotta listen to your dad and mom. They tell you to make up your bed, they tell you to be on time for church right when you first start driving. Then you need to be on time, they trusting you with their vehicle, you don't have to drive. It starts to register real quick. I'm gonna go to the football game next Friday. Let me you know, but be patient because again, I might have gotten it on Monday, and daddy mama said this. They and they might they because see our parents grew up in a time where their parents didn't do all this stuff, they just told they ordered them, right? Right, right. So, again, if you grew up in that household, now this generation started kids, they're gonna do the same thing. It's not like, hey, let me teach you how to sweep, Corey, get in that kitchen, sweep the kitchen, it better be done by in 15 minutes. That's right, okay, that's all I know, right? Yeah, I'm not gonna be there with my son or other children all the time. However, I do see the if I just have to bring it out in a different way, yeah. And I think those parents do those things and then and understand that everything is not 100.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I think that's so important too that parents realize, you know, they we say this all the time. Kids these days are built different. We can't use the same parenting techniques that worked on us on the this generation because it's just a different time. So, yes, saying go clean your room, they first need to be taught what that actually means so that you go in there with them, you do it with them, and so now they have an understanding of what clean is to you. Clean to them might be just shoving everything under the closet door, close the closet door.
SPEAKER_01:We're doing it's off, it's not on the floor when you come in.
SPEAKER_00:Right. I'm self-aware enough that I know that these things on the floor don't need to be seen. So let me put them somewhere that they're not seen, but that doesn't meet the parents' standard of clean your room, and so then I think that helps enhance those um self-awareness skills, even in something as simple as cleaning a room.
SPEAKER_01:The second thing I tell parents play with your children, stop being so hard on them where you can't get outside and throw football or do kickball, go to the park and hit the tennis ball as far as you can, whatever you got to do. Right, play with your children, yeah. But when I go to the home, some parents will tell you, as we uh eluded earlier, if they didn't have it, then they don't know. Right, that's right. So teaching never stops from the classroom setting to the home setting and the community uh component. The uh what I call like the Chicago Bulls just run the triangle offense. Sometimes I've had to show up with a parent at a boys and girls club, I've had to show up with the parent at the driver's license place. I've had to show up in different settings where it's not about me. But with that adult parent, it's like a child is saying, you're here. Right. I can only imagine what it's gonna do when little Johnny sees me as well. But you're not so you're reminding them that you're not alone.
SPEAKER_02:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:But sometimes you have to go past the phone call. Your physical presence is required, and that's when if you are you know in a married situation or if you're dating strongly, sometimes you have to let that friend, that your significant other know, hey, I just gotta have this last hour before we do us for the weekend. Right. Hey, if you can come with me so you can see what my world looks like, if it's allowed to you, right? Then the other is like, well, yes, let me see what my man is doing, let me see what my lady is doing, so that when we have those talks during the week at times, I see why you're tired.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I see you're giving your all. I'm gonna cook tonight, dear. Okay, I'll cook tonight. Or I'll order dash up because you're not gonna cook tonight. And that's that's the circle of life, being able to recognize our children, family members, our parents as they start aging graciously, like they slow down. Yeah, but with our children, our classroom centers, you have to be able to play with them too. And every day doesn't have to be what's on the schedule. Sometimes you gotta, if if 10 kids are bad, we're gonna start off playing. And we're not teaching, we just playing a game, okay?
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:We gotta get the forecast back to Happy Faces as best we can.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, I love that. That's so great, and I think that's a those are all great things for parents to be able to do with their kids and just good reminders too, because I think sometimes as parents, you know, you just get so busy with the day-to-day, you just forget that you know, something as simple as getting out there, playing with them, doing something in the house as a joint activity. So very good strategies for parents. So as we finish up tonight, I just want to ask you to finish this sentence for me to make social emotional learning sustainable and meaningful for both students and educators. Schools and teachers need a blank. I love it. I love that. And we know that time is very short in the school day for teachers to have the time to do it. So I I hope that that resonates with an administrator that's watching, or even with a superintendent or some school official who's watching and listening to know that all these important things we talked about tonight, time is needed in order to implement them.
SPEAKER_01:They have to listen to the that's what higher-ups have to listen to the teachers. So it may not be every day, it might be on fun Friday when I can implement social emotional learning skill sets the first 15 minutes. Then we'll go into circle time or the regular routine.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:But Monday and Tuesday, that's just not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I love it. Thank you so much for joining me for this week's episode, Corey. I really appreciate it. Being a head start, I think that's such a treasured position. So I know you're impacting your students' lives on a daily basis and impacting families as well in your role as family advocate. I really appreciate you being on.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you so much, Dr. Tiffany.
SPEAKER_00:All right, thanks everybody for watching this week's episode. Remember to share it, like it, download it, all the things you can do on all the platforms. We're streaming on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, also on LinkedIn as well. So join us again next week for another Tuesday talks. See ya.
SPEAKER_01:See ya.
SPEAKER_00:Be sure to share this episode and join me next week for a brand new data. See ya.