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Why Treating AI Like A Tutor Protects Real Learning

• Dr. Tiffany • Season 3 • Episode 26

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A kid says, “I used ChatGPT to study,” and every parent’s stomach tightens.  The question isn’t if kids will use AI, but whether we’ll teach them to use it well. This conversation unpacks the fear and the opportunity, showing how AI can become a patient tutor instead of a shortcut that quietly replaces effort. 

You’ll leave with a simple blueprint: treat AI like a tutor at the table, not a ghostwriter in the background. Use it to clarify instructions, reteach concepts, and support executive function and confidence, while keeping critical thinking, curiosity, and human connection at the core. 

If this helped you reframe the AI-at-home debate, subscribe, share with another parent, and leave a review with your family’s top AI rule—we’ll feature our favorites in an upcoming episode.

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Tuesday Talks is hosted by Dr. Tiffany. She has been a Speech/Language Pathologist for 20 years. She's also a speaker and educational consultant. Dr. Tiffany hosts webinars and in-person workshops for teachers and parents.

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to Tuesday Talks, your educational podcast helping parents become strong advocates for their kids and teachers to make big impacts in the classroom. Here we go. Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back for another Tuesday Talks. Thank you so much for joining me for another episode. Be sure to go ahead and hit subscribe, like all the social media things, because this episode, like many of my others, is really great. And I want to talk specifically to parents. I want to ask you this question. When you hear your child say, I used Chat GPT to study, did your stomach drop a little bit? Mine surely did when my kids said it. And it really made me think about this mix between being cautious and curious with AI, thinking about how is my school approaching this? Because kids are using computers at school. And then thinking to myself, my kid is already using AI. Whether I like it or not, he's using it. And so then what next? Because a lot of parents think about using AI for schoolwork or projects is cheating. You might ask yourself, is my kid still thinking? You might ask yourself, is this going to make them dependent on AI instead of them working through things on their own? And you might also be thinking, how am I going to monitor this? How am I going to make sure they're using it correctly? And I think there are two sides of the same coin, right? You can have concerns and then you can also see the possibilities in it too. And that's kind of where I landed. Like this really helped. Then I'm also kind of concerned about him using it. Parents, your concerns are valid, just like mine are. Over reliance on AI. Skipping that productive struggle. If that term productive struggle sends you kind of thinking, what does that mean? Please go back and watch our previous episodes on the learning pit because I talk about what productive struggle is there and it is essential to learning. You might also be concerned about AI giving wrong information. We all know that AI is, you know, generated information doesn't mean that it's accurate all the time. And also you might be concerned about a loss of writing, math, or maybe even reasoning skills because AI is just giving the answer. On the flip side of that, though, it made me think about hey, this gives an explanation like that, maybe faster than I even could. Um, multiple ways to explain the same concept, right? My kid might not understand how I explained the concept to him, but chat came in and explained it and how it made sense. Um, also, it kind of gives this non-judgmental learning support where you know, if I explain it and he doesn't get it, and I explain it again and he doesn't get it, maybe by the third time there's a slight tinge of frustration in my voice because I'm just like, you're not getting this. Um, so AI could help with not having that judgmental kind of learning, learning support. Also, it could be a support for kids who don't like to ask for help in class. My son, if you watched the episode about a student-led conference with his guide, talked about how he didn't want to ask questions in math because he thought it was perceived as him just looking for the answer instead of trying out figuring it out on his own. So he was struggling in silence. And so chat GPT in study mode gave him the opportunity to ask for help, not out loud, but also giving him the support that he needed. And then AI can kind of bridge those gaps when adults aren't available because sometimes kids are doing homework at home and parents are busy. Maybe we haven't even made it home yet from work. So, two things can be true at the same time AI can be misused, but it can also be incredibly powerful. And I'll share this story with you when I first just kind of discovered that my son was even using AI, he was struggling with a specific math concept. I forget what it was even now, but I was available, I have an advanced degree, but I could not explain to him how to work through the specific math concept. And if you're thinking back to our learning pit episodes, well, you're not really supposed to be giving them the answer anyway, right? You're not supposed to be walking them through the steps, you're supposed to be asking them reflective questions to get out of that learning pit. I couldn't even formulate a reflective question because the way that he was using math in that specific assignment, I never used it that way. And let's be honest, last time I took a math class was a long, long time ago. And it wasn't a preferred, you know, academic area. So I learned what I needed to learn to get through that point, and then I let it go. So I was available, I have an advanced degree, I can think through things, but even I was struggling to break this down for him. And he pulled up Chat GPT in study mode. It broke down the concept step by step, it rephrased what it was explaining to him in multiple ways, and then it used the examples that really clicked for him. It didn't give him the answer, but it did help him understand how to get there. I was there monitoring the interaction. I did ask my son to explain it back to me. So once chat walked him through the steps of how to get there for that specific problem, I said, okay, now you explain to me what chat told you. It became a conversation, not just this shortcut that he was using. And so that really stood out to me in thinking about AI in a different way. There are ways that you can use it just to get the answer. My son's school has taught them how to use it to help guide them through the thinking process, not just giving them the answer. And so it really made me think back to like, what did I use as a kid that helped me work through? You know, I was I'm a kid of the 80s, there was no chat, there was no computer you could go to and ask questions. But if I thought back to like the late 90s, early 2000s, I remember using encyclopedias. Uh, had some CD-ROMs. In high school, Cliff's Notes were my personal best friend because that got me through the required readings that I didn't really read. But hey, Cliff read them. So I got my information for my essay from Cliff Notes. Um, I remember in math, the odd problems would have the answers in the back of the textbook. So I would flip to the back, get the answer for a particular problem, then figure out how they got that answer so that I could do the even problems on my own, which were the homework problems. My mom also got me a tutor when I was in high school to help me with algebra. Um, there were some after-school programs. I remember my math teacher allowing us to stay after to help us. Um, sometimes I might have asked a friend, but really I didn't want anybody to know about my struggle with math, so I just kept it where it close to my chest. Um, so there might have been a couple of times where I asked, like, what'd you get for this problem? Not definitely not. I don't understand this. Can you explain it to me? But those were some of the things that I remember using as a kid when I was stuck on any type of math problem or trying to write some essay. And so when I really thought about it, AI is today's version of getting help when the teacher or the parent wasn't available or when I didn't want to ask the question. It was also there to help me just speed through things. That's what Cliff Notes did, help me just speed through the process. But what's different about what I used back then, maybe what you use as well, and what AI gives kids now is speed, personalization, and interactivity. That those are the things that stood out to me to be very different. What is the same is there was the goal of understanding how do I get through this problem? That was the same back then as it is now. And the tool didn't replace replace my thinking, it replaced it, it it helped me think through something in a way that I hadn't before. Gave me some background knowledge to kind of help figure out what my next step would be. So how these tools were used really mattered. Again, I used Cliff Notes just to tell me what the book was about. Didn't care to understand it myself. I just had to put it in my own words to get the essay done. That was a tool that I misused, right? Like I used it to give me information. It wasn't asking me broad questions, it wasn't guiding me through what I thought about, you know, whatever the book was on. It just told me what the book was about, gave me enough to turn in the essay. But those other tools were things that made me kind of think through how an answer was achieved and then how I could reduplicate that same process to help me understand how to answer the question that I was working on. So then it kind of helped me as I'm thinking through this, think about like what A is what AI is not replacing. It's not replacing teachers, it's not replacing parents, it's not replacing critical thinking, it's not replacing human connection, and it's not replacing curiosity. It doesn't have to replace those things. Think about how kids are using it to understand what it could possibly be replacing because AI, when used appropriately, can really support any clarification that might be needed with instructions, reteaching some piece of content differently. Maybe that practice without the pressure or that judgment or the frustration, maybe it helps support executive functioning. We talked about that on this podcast a lot. Maybe it helps support confidence building as well because AI is not raising our kids. Parents, we are raising our kids. And so, in thinking about it that way, I wanted to share some kind of practical guidelines that parents can use to help kids use AI the right way. Ask kids how they're using it. I guarantee you, if you ask them, have you used AI, they're probably gonna say yes. Ask them how they are using it. Let them explain. What are you using it for? What subject area? What was something specific that you used it for? Have them share with you in detail what they used it for and how they used it, and give them space to be honest. If you just use it to get the answer, let me know. That's gonna give you information to use as far as talking to them about using AI in a more appropriate way and what type of limitations that puts on them and their learning when they use AI just to get the answer. Give them space to answer the questions honestly, without, you know, retribution or punishment or some type of consequence. Have kids explain the answers back. If you think back to when I shared how my son used it, and my mind was kind of blown, and I was very grateful in that moment to Chat GPT study mode because I could not have explained that math concept to him. It just would have turned out to be a struggle for both of us. And in that moment, it was a busy time for me. I honestly didn't have the time to sit down right then and first of all teach myself how to explain it and then explain it to him. So have AI explain, have your kids, I'm sorry, explain back the answers that Chat GPT study mode has kind of walked them through. And if you haven't used Chat GPT in study mode, try it out. It kind of blew my mind because I always saw it as just giving the answer. It asks some really good probing questions that will help guide them through the steps, not just give them the answer. Check it out for yourself. I encourage you to do that because then that way you know what your kids could be using it for versus maybe what they are actually using it for. And that can help you, you know, give guidance back to why they need to use it a more appropriate way. And I'm real honest with my kid, and so I might say, listen, there are some instances where you do just want the answer, you just need to get the answer to move on. That's fine. Don't let that become a habit of yours, though, right? Like, don't let that become something you can you tend to rely on because heaven forbid, the Wi-Fi goes out, there's no data plan, and now you got to figure some stuff out on your own. Now you're screwed. So set yourself up that you are learning along with Chat GPT study mode. And that's just one option. I'm not endorsing it, I'm not sponsored by them, definitely. I'm just sharing what my kid used, but let them explain back the answers to you so you get an understanding of how well they understood it. And maybe they used it on this particular problem, if it's math, and the next one they don't, so that you can see did they really pick up on what chat was explained to them, or were they just using it to get the answers? Um, think about it using um in those practical ways that AI is given examples, those step-by-step explanations, maybe even some practice questions. Maybe your kid used it. And now you go into chat GPT study mode and say, give my kids study some practice questions based on the homework assignment questions he just asked you about. Ding ding ding. Now you really get to see if the rubber is meeting the road. Is there traction there? Did they really understand? Or were they just using chat to just pull them right out of that learning pit that they might have found themselves in instead of struggling through the learning pit and using chat to give those guiding questions? And always, I think something that is really important, monitoring and co-using AI with your kids, especially in elementary and middle school. Cause I feel like if you give them good footing there at those grade levels, elementary and middle, on how to use AI appropriately, appropriately using it with them, you're monitoring their use of it, you are co-creating things on AI with them, then by the time they get into high school, they have a respect for how to use it appropriately. And so you kind of lessen the chances of them using it inappropriately versus just saying, don't use chat GPT at all, don't use AI at all, it's bad, you forbid it, and now they're gonna use it behind your back to figure out, you know, maybe why you're so pressed about them not using it, but also sneaking to use it to get the answers. So if we use it in a more open, co-kind of usage way, then it gives them a lane to be more honest with you and it gives you insight into how they're using it to make sure that it is appropriate. What I talked to my son about is we don't want any copy and paste. That's not what we're doing. You are not gonna copy and paste from what ChatGPT study mode said and put that down as how you figured out this math problem. We're not gonna let this AI replace your effort. We're not just turning our brains off and just copying what we've been told. Because remember, it's technology, which can be wrong sometimes, and not letting him use it in an unmonitored way. Um, lots of different ways you can go back and figure out what your kids, the different sites your kids have gone on, browsing the history on their device, you know, all those things. But making sure you're avoiding allowing just free reign of it, you want to have them use it in a very structured way and in a respectful way. Because if we think of AI as a tutor sitting at the table, which is kind of what I had to do, and I I'm telling you, I was so grateful for it that day, which which is what intrigued me, which is what kind of sparked my curiosity. Because I'll be honest, I was very much uh don't use that. Uh-uh. It's giving you the answer. I don't like that. I want you to think through it on your own. And that day when he used it in a space that I was unable to help him in, I saw it as a tutor being able to help him, not do the work, but guiding him in his thinking through the problem. And now he's come to me and said, Oh, you know, study mode helped me figure out this. Study mode, you know, asked me this question and it it really helped me. So there has to be this shared responsibility with it, especially when the kids are younger and my son's in fifth grade. So now he knows what my parameters are for using AI. And should I ever find out that he's using it in that kind of unauthorized way that we've agreed upon, then that opens up for conversation. That opens up for me to talk to him about how he's using it to replace his effort just because he doesn't want to give effort right now, or maybe it's too hard to think through whatever this concept is. And so then we have a conversation about what it looks like using AI going forward. I just want to make sure that something that stood out to me, and maybe this stands out to you too. Every generation gets a new tool. Every generation. There was a generation that only had encyclopedias. There was a generation that had cliff notes. There was a generation that now has AI. Every generation worries that it will ruin learning. It will ruin learning. You know, I think back to when I would ask my parents like how to spell a word, go look it up. Go look it up. But then that even changed from go look it up to tell me how you think it's spelled before you go look it up. You want to make sure I'm not just getting the answer, but I'm thinking through what the answer could be. So thinking of AI as a tutor that's not doing the work, but guiding the thinking really helped kind of kind of dampen my worries about it being used inappropriately. Now, as any tool in any generation, it can be used inappropriately. You could go copyright out of the encyclopedia is your answer. You can go copyright out of the dictionary, copyright off of Cliff Notes, copyright off of Chat GPT study mode. So learn learning how to use these tools responsibly was the key. They're not there to give you the answer, they're there to give you the support. And we talked about that in the previous episodes. That rescue versus support in that learning pit, AI could be a tool to help assist that, especially if it is standing in the gap of something that as a parent, you might not fully understand yourself in a way that you're able to explain to your kid. And it's okay to be there. I'm I assure you, my son's in fifth grade now. By the time he's done with like sixth grade, maybe seventh, my assistance in the area of math will be minimal to non-existent. And I am okay saying that. I don't care. I'm just not going to be able to explain it to him. I barely have a grasp on it. Is they're not algebraic and geometric concepts that I use in my day-to-day life. And so being able to break it down to ask him reflective questions or even explain one of the math problems to him, I would be hard-pressed to do that. And then we'll both be sitting at the table frustrated and confused. Maybe I let him experience seeing me in that mode once or twice because I think it's good to model that productive struggle for kids so that they see like you don't just walk around knowing all the answers all the time. But I also want him to be able to use a tool in instances where I can't support him. The teacher, maybe they're on break and the teacher isn't there to support. I want him to understand how to use AI responsibly and how to respect the rules that I have set for him to use it strategically. We don't want it to give the answers. We do want it to guide the thinking. So I'm encouraging you parents to stay curious, stay involved, try it out yourself. Go Google some math problem, look at your kid's homework, put it in Chat GPT study mode or whatever AI platform you use in a study mode and see what it gives you. See how it guides you through the problem. Maybe you're not comfortable with your kid using it at all, and you're like, absolutely not. Then use Chat GPT study mode, if that's your choice, to help guide you through your understanding. So then you can in turn help your child. But using it as a tool to stay connected to how your child learns is going to be quite a turn. Starting point, and it was for me because AI isn't going away. So the question isn't if kids will use it, it's whether we'll teach them how to use it well. And that starts with us as parents. The school either might not set any guidelines, might be kind of vague, maybe it goes beyond what you want your kid to be able to use AI for. So start it starts with us to be able to set the responsibility, the roles, the impact. It is for us to set the parameters as their parents to make sure that they are using it appropriately as a tool and not as this replacement for effort or just getting the answer. So I invite you parents, share with me how your kids are using AI, what excites you about that, or maybe even worries you about them using it as well. Just remember it's not going anywhere. We can't avoid it. And just remember also, we had our tools as kids too. And sometimes it helped us and sometimes it didn't. Sometimes it helped us more than it should have because we used it inappropriately. Sometimes it helped us advance how we're thinking through things so that we could use our brains and not the tool, but we had our thing too. And this is the thing for this generation. So we might as well figure out how to help them use it responsibly and not abuse it. So let me know what you think about using AI. Is it good? Is it bad? And with that, I will see you next week for another episode. Have a good one. Bye. Be sure to share this episode and join me next week for our brand new Tuesday talks. See ya.