113. The "Baddy" Bag

When "goody" bags hinder your organizing efforts...

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:18

So it's the weekend before July 4th weekend, and many people are going to be going to parties, get togethers, cookouts. Maybe you're going to the beach, maybe you're going to the lake, maybe you're just hanging out with family. But the summer is a time when people are definitely mingling. Some people are having their weddings. Sometimes people are doing a kids' party, a birthday party, a pool party. But nonetheless, a lot of people, when they throw a party, will offer a goodie bag. Or if they are opening a new store, or maybe they're launching a new product, they will give out a goodie bag so that you can go home with samples, so that the kids can go home with toys, so that you can go home with a business card, coupons, flyers for whatever the store is selling. So it's definitely something that serves a purpose. If you're at a kid's birthday party and you get there and everybody plays, and then the birthday kit opens the presents, and then you cut the cake, everybody has cake. And then the parent hosting it says, on your way out, make sure you grab a goodie bag. The kids get really excited because they feel like they get a gift as well, even though it's someone else's birthday. That could make the ride home a little bit more enjoyable for them because maybe they're playing with a new little puppet toy or a slinky, or maybe there's just like a really cheap little keychain game or something that they can play with, and then they'll get tired of it on the way home. The same with adult goodie bags. Okay, let's say you go to a makeup launch. Doesn't even matter if it's a store, if it's a private brand, and someone says, hey, make sure you grab a bag on the way home. That is going to give you some samples of our product. And then, of course, you're going to have, you know, different flyers in there talking about what our website is, or maybe it's just an informational type brochure on the product itself. Basically, the bag is just a way to carry the items from A to B. And it's nothing more. There have been times where, you know, I've shown up to a party and maybe the goodie bag is actually a really nice little tote bag. And I think to myself, wow, what a nice little bag. I could probably use this for something else. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with having a brand new bag, especially if it's one that can be reused. And if everything inside of it is the type of item that you would want to use, it really serves a lot of purposes. And so I don't think that they're bad in the sense of people should get rid of goodie bags. I just think, in my experience, that a lot of people really get tied to the goodie bag itself. And not only do they have trouble getting rid of the bag, they have trouble getting rid of everything inside of it, even if it's not that exciting. I think part of it is a psychological thing. I think gift giving itself is something that people really get tripped up about. And a lot of people agree that it's the act of giving that's important, right? So especially at Christmas or at a birthday, if someone gives you a gift, it's the act of them giving you a gift. You thank them, you receive the gift, you take it home, and then from there, it is yours to do with what you want. A lot of people, a lot of people that I work with really, really get hung up on this was gifted to me by a friend, a family member, a mother-in-law. If I don't display this for them when they come over, they're gonna be really upset, especially if they give you something that is maybe like a kitchen item, whether it's cute decor or something you can use while you're baking, maybe it's an apron, a candle, you know, stuff like that. I've heard people say if my mother-in-law comes over and I don't wear the floral apron that she gave me, or if I don't display the picture that she had framed for me, X, Y, Z, on and on and on, then I'm going to be in trouble. I've heard so many people say this, and I think we've all been in a position where we receive a gift and we go home and we think, okay, how long do I have to hold on to this before I can get rid of it, before I can regift it, before I can donate it, before I can sell it on eBay, whatever it is, sometimes you feel like someone has handed you an obligation. When it comes to goodie bags, people have this extra, I guess you could call trip up about it because someone spent money and gave them an item that may not be of the best quality. Um, when you look at those little toys, like those little poppets or those little slinkies, my son ended up with like a little Rubik's cube. It was super tiny, and he actually has a regular Rubik's cube. And he left this event with those items: a little slinky, a little pop-up toy, and a little Rubik's cube. And he kind of played with them in the car, and then we got home. And a few days later, the little goodie bag was still on the kitchen island. And he walked in the room and I already had everything kind of pulled out of it. I was kind of seeing what all was in there. And I said, Do you want to keep this? And I picked one of the items from the goodie bag. And he goes, Um, I don't think so. And so I go, Okay. I said, Well, I'll donate it. And he goes, Great. And then he looked down and saw the other item. I think it was the little slinky. And he picked it up and he started playing with it. And he's like, Oh, but this is pretty cool. And he carried it back to his room. Now I'm fine with him keeping whatever he will actually play with. I am fine keeping whatever I will actually use. Think of the times that you go to Sephora and they say, Hey, do you want to, you know, cash in some of your rewards or bonus points for one of our items in the case? And it almost takes you back to when you go to the arcade and you've won tickets because you played skee ball for hours, and then you go to cash in the tickets and you realize that the, you know, Walkman that you want from the 80s is like 1200 tickets. And you're like, okay, well, what can I buy with 60 tickets? And they're like, oh, all this crap here in the front. And it was usually some kind of like really cheap candy, or it was a snap bracelet, or a deck of playing cards, or you know, just a bunch of junk that you're like, well, I have these tickets, I can get those things, or I can take the tickets home. And then when I come back, maybe I can win some more tickets to add to this pile, and maybe I can get something better, like a board game. So again, we all go through it. We've all been through it. And it starts out when you're a kid. You leave the party with a goodie bag, or you go to the arcade and you're picking out a bunch of cheap crap, and then you get home, and at some point you end up with lots of little stuff just everywhere. Well, today I want to talk about the concept of these bags actually being bad for your organizing efforts. We're gonna call them baddie bags and not baddie as in B-A-D-D-I-E, like, hey, that girl's a baddie. Look at her purse. We're talking about what a goodie bag can become once it's taken home. It can become bad for your organizing efforts because you really don't always know what to do with it. And if it's a cute little bag, you want to save it because who wants to throw away a cute bag? The main thing I want you to get used to is when you get something like that home, making a decision in the next week before the next weekend rolls around what you're actually going to do with it. And if it's a bag that is really cheap, that was bought in bulk, um, whether it's like a craft bag, a white bag, there are a lot of things that you can do with it if it's blank. Um, you can reuse it for a kid's project, of course. You can put it aside. Sometimes when I go up to see my mom, I'll give her smaller things that maybe I don't want anymore, but I know that she would want. And so I just open one of these bags and start putting stuff in there for her. And then that way when I'm leaving to go out of town, I'm not trying to find a few little things and spend a bunch of time trying to figure out what's going with me. And I can just reuse the bag. I can give her the bag. If it's a bag that has something stamped on it, like maybe somebody is sharing their products with you and it has their stamp on the front or their business card, or you know, maybe it's a custom bag that they had made for their business. One thing you can do to help out your friend is turn around and give that bag to somebody who wasn't at the event. And maybe you pass along the coupon or the business card or the products and you say, Hey, my friend created this great line. I took the shampoo and the hairspray, but I want you to try the conditioner, or if it's like a moisturizer, or if it's perfume, you can say, I really liked this perfume and I like this other one, but I think that you would like it better and I don't need to, you know. So you're helping promote your friend's product and you're also getting rid of it to where you're not stuck with a bunch of product that you're not gonna use, then you feel bad if you go to throw away your friend's bag that she spent money on to promote her product. You can help her promote it. If you don't have someone in mind that you want to give it to, you can always stop and think, okay, when am I gonna get my hair done next? Maybe you go to your kid's school and you're sitting on the bleachers watching a game and there's another mom sitting close to you that you haven't talked to, and you can be like, hey, I'm sorry, I'm so-and-so's mom. Uh, sorry to bother you, but would you want this? Like my friend gave it to me and I can't use it all. And, you know, some people may be weirded out by that. Some people are like me where it's just kind of like, oh, that's a really kind gesture. Because again, it's the gesture, it's the gift, it's the act of giving. If you're not somebody that's very social, I don't encourage you to go out and do something that you feel like weird about. I'm kind of weird, so I don't mind doing it. And again, if somebody's just like, oh no, thank you, then you know, I can just have it beside me and carry it around at the event. And, you know, maybe an opportunity will present itself where I can re-gift it. Now, when it comes to the kids' toys, what my son did and what I how I presented the toys to my son is actually something that I think works psychologically. Again, I'm not a mental health professional. I say this all the time. If there's actually a label for it or something that it's called, like the technique, I don't know. All I know is that when you look at something as a whole, you're gonna look at it as a package, as a gift. It's gonna have more meaning than what it probably should have. Sometimes somebody will give you a bag and it's a cheap bag. It has a bunch of flyers in it. Maybe it has like Halloween candy that they don't want to eat. And then, you know, maybe you just have like some cheap toys. And so the actual value of the bag may only be five or $10 with a bunch of cheap stuff inside of it. And you're kind of holding on to that because you look at the whole thing and you're like, well, someone took some time to put that together. And, you know, it did cost somebody something. Here's what I think you should do. I think you should separate everything. When you get home with a goodie bag, if your child has already pulled something out of it that they are playing with and they like, just let them have it. At some point they're gonna put it down, and maybe throughout the week they pick it back up and play with it. Maybe it does become like a fidget thing. I don't know if kids are still into fidget spinners, but kids still fidget with things. They either roll fabric in their fingers, you know, like in between their fingers, they'll spin things around their fingers, they'll just play with stuff on their desktop while they're gaming and doing homework and stuff. So if they actually pick out something and take off with it, just leave it alone. Don't worry about it. But what you do when you get home is you pull everything out of that bag, you fold up the bag, you decide immediately what you're gonna do with the bag. Okay. Now, if it has their name on it, one great thing that you can do is you can reuse that bag the next time you go to give them a gift. Now, there are some ages, maybe older kids, maybe you know, 11, 12, and older, that may say, Oh, isn't this the bag that I got at somebody else's party? And then other kids just don't care. It depends on what you put inside of it. But especially the younger kids, if you get home and one of their friends put their name on a bag and you're like, well, now it's sentimental because their name is on the bag, you can always reuse that for your smaller child, especially when it's their birthday or if it's Christmas. They are not gonna care. A lot of times when Christmas rolls around and they go to open up presents, they really don't care what their stuff is wrapped in or if it's in a bag. They care about more what the actual toy is. And I try to do a combination. I try to do bags and boxes that are wrapped because my son does like to unwrap gifts, but there are some things that just work better in bags, and then you can make the bag cute. But if you come home from a party and you've got a goodie bag, you pull everything out of it and you put the bag aside, I want you to look at what is actually in there. If it's a lot of paper, like if it is like flyers and coupons and stuff, do what you do when you actually get the mail. And if you don't do this when you get the mail, you need to get used to doing it. If it's something that you're not going to use, period, like we don't have pets, we don't have a dog or a cat. Sometimes I'll get flyers that talk about pet services. And it's like, yeah, somebody could use this, but I'm assuming that a ton of people are getting this, right? If you go to an opening, like maybe your friend is opening some kind of pet spa, and you know, you take a goodie bag and you get home and everything in it has to do with pets and you don't have one, again, you can re-gift it to maybe a neighbor in your apartment building or a neighbor on your street and say, Hey, I just went to an event and there's this cute little bag that has a lot of pet stuff in it. You know, do you want it? A lot of people will say yes if it comes to pet toys or kids' toys, because they know that it's something new that their pet or their kid will probably get excited about. They'll get excited about getting it, and then they don't have to pay money for a toy that week. Like if somebody gets like a new pet bed or something that actually cost a little bit of money, you know, that's something you can give to somebody. And most people will be like, yeah, I'll take it. Like, that's a great find. Thank you. And then once you actually have everything out of the bag, especially if it's like the kids' toys, you can spread everything out. And a lot of us know our kids so well that we know what they're going to reject in terms of candy and treats. My child, believe it or not, does not like chocolate. He's very big into fruity, like citrusy type stuff. So he's not even a big candy person. But years ago, he did like gummy bears. He does like lemonade, and he does like, you know, some snow cones that are flavored, you know, with like, I don't know, strawberry or coconut. So when it comes to chocolate or anything chocolate, that's where it is really easy for me to go through Halloween candy because he loves going trick-or-treating. He loves going up and, you know, knocking on the doors and doing the whole house-to-house thing and dressing up, but he doesn't like candy. And so we'll come home and he'll go in his room and I'm like, do you even want to look? Like, I ask him every year just in case something changes. But I'm like, Do you even want to look in here? And he's like, No, I'm all right. You can have whatever's in there. So that's an easy one because I know what candy I like. And then I can, you know, pass along some of the stuff that I'm not that crazy about. But what's great about spreading everything out is that you can make a couple of piles and what you think they're gonna say yes to, you can put in one pile. What you think they're gonna say no to goes into another. And then you invite them out to the kitchen or wherever you are, and you say, Okay, I think you will like everything in this pile. What do you think? And they'll either go, uh, or they'll go, oh yeah, cool, and they'll grab it. And then you can say, now all of this stuff you probably don't want, right? And then again, you're gonna probably gonna get a yes or a no because you've already pre-sorted it for them. It's gonna be clearer for them to actually see, oh yeah, like I like this stuff. This is great. And then kind of as an afterthought, when they see the other pile, it's like, oh yeah, I don't want that stuff. So it's not like they have to look inside a big goody bag or what we will call a baddie bag, and say, I don't know, I don't know what's in here. Let's just keep it. And that's probably like the most defeating thing that you can hear if you're trying to organize is when someone else in your household brings home something, especially something that was gifted to them, even if it's cheap, even if it's free, and they're like, oh, well, let's just keep it because I got that at so-and-so's party. Now, here's what I think you should do. Whatever happens when you get home from that party, the reason I have you take everything out isn't because I immediately want you or your child to make a decision. I think it's just easier to kind of sort stuff out and say, okay, I think he wants this, I think he won't want this. And again, if he comes out and makes a decision that moment, great. If not, what I want you to do is before the next weekend, I want you to pull one item from the pile that you think that he's not gonna like. And you take it into him and you say, Hey, this little slinky, you know, you already have like two or three slinkies. You probably don't want this right. And whatever he's doing a week from then, he will probably turn around and say, Oh, yeah, I don't want that. Because kids really don't hold on to that sentimental stuff as long unless it's something that is truly something they like and it came from somebody they care about. For instance, my child has a big, big drink cup that we never ever filled at the top. But it has a lid and a straw and it's Minecraft, and someone gave it to him. And we really don't have a smaller option right now because you know, we're minimalist. But after someone gave him that cup, whenever I give him like a lemonade, I put it in this cup. And so one day I went to him and I said, Are you really attached to this? And he goes, Yeah. He said, So-and-so gave it to me, and that's what I drink lemonade out of. Now that attachment is actually great and it's actually very final. So until there's a substitute for that, he's probably gonna keep wanting his lemonade in that cup. I'm not saying you have to do it. I'm not saying that he can't have lemonade in a disposable cup or a glass. What I'm saying is that when there is an emphatic answer of, yes, I love that. Someone gave it to me. I use it all the time. Those are all good signals. And I feel like kids do a lot better with giving off those signals than adults because adults have that extra layer of guilt and they also have the extra layer of finances. And what I mean by that is we know how much things cost, kids often do not. So if we are holding on to something from a goodie bag and it's even a sample, even if it's a product we have opened the lid and we, you know, or the cap and we smell it, and we're like, oh, I don't think we like this perfume. We're sitting there thinking, okay, but this little travel sample size perfume may be something that somebody else would like. And we hate to throw it away because the whole product did cost money for someone to create and someone to put together. Kids don't look At things that way, and they're not going to look at things that way until they actually have to grow up and pay bills or they actually have to work to make money. That is why I'm part of the camp that actually encourages kids to start working when they're teenagers, even if it's just a few hours a week, even if it's just for maybe an organization that they're interested in. You know, maybe somebody says, hey, you can come answer the phones for a few hours. That's what I did when I was wanting to work in high school, but I wasn't old enough for a permit. So I think I was like 13 years old and I was taking dance classes. And the woman that owned the studio offered to a lot of us, she said, Hey, if some of you want to come in and answer the phone, you know, before your practice, then I will give your parents a discount on your dance lessons. And so I was the one that actually said, Yeah, I'm interested in that because I wanted some kind of job. I thought it was cool to make money. And there are a lot of kids that when they start thinking about wearing certain clothes or doing certain things with their friends, they want to make their own money because a lot of times the parents will say, Well, I don't know if we can do that this weekend because we're doing this and that costs money. And so I know I'm getting off on a tangent, but I think it's really important for parents to realize that their kids are not going to either be attached or not be attached the way that they are. And you can make a lot of these, I would say, you can make a lot of these situations learning opportunities for them. You can teach them a better way to do things. But what really helps is if you do it as well. So if you come home with a goodie bag and again, you pull everything out, you either throw away, recycle, or shred whatever pamphlets you don't want, whatever coupons you don't want, whatever you know you're not gonna use and you don't think you're gonna be able to give it to somebody else, throw the paper stuff away. Shred it, recycle it. With the actual products, if it's something you want to try, I encourage you to try it within a day or two. Because if you don't try it within a day or two, then it's just gonna get thrown in with everything else. You're gonna forget you have it, and then you're gonna probably go buy a whole bottle of something new you've been wanting to try. And then when you see the little sample, you're gonna say, Okay, well, I don't really need this now. I just bought new shampoo or I just bought a new perfume. I don't really care about this. So within a couple of days, I would use it. And I would do the same thing for yourself. Within a week, by that next weekend, like if you go to an event on Saturday, by that next Saturday, if you haven't used the samples, I would literally take them into your shower and put them in there. If it's makeup, if it's something, I would actually put it to where like items are. And the next time you go to get ready or you go to take a shower or you go to put on perfume, you literally put that on or you use that item. If you don't like it, throw it away. Because at that point, you can't gift it to somebody else. You're not going to use it for sure. If you didn't like it the first time you used it, you're not gonna like it the second or third time, depending on how many uses you can get out of it. So I recommend immediately within that first week, figuring out if you're actually going to use it, which is good for the people who gave it to you. That's what they want. They want you to sample their product. And if you love it, then the next time you go to buy that type of product, then consider them. That's all they're asking of you is hey, for free, I want you to try my product because I think you will like it and I want to make money. So if you go home and you never sample their product and you never pass it along to somebody else that's not really supporting the cause in which you got the goodie bag. I've seen people show up to events and they're like, hey, I'm here to support you. I'm here. And then they take something home, and then five years later they hire me and I'm like, hey, what is this? And they're like, oh, my friend created da-da-da and wanted me to try it. And I'm like, well, how is it? And they're like, Well, I don't know. I've never opened it. And it's like, okay, and and I get it, we get distracted or we have our favorite things. And so that's why people put free things in front of us all the time, right? When it comes to the goodie bag that comes home from a kid's event, if someone's not promoting an actual toy or promoting an event or a kid's place, like maybe somebody's like, hey, take this goodie bag, and a lot of it is promotional material. If you know you're never gonna take your kid to that place, then just turn around and say, Hey, does somebody else want this? Or, or the best thing that you can do, okay, is not take the goodie bag. Okay. If it's your child leaving a party, let the kid take the bag. Okay. Don't get so strict that you're like, you can't take the goodie bag that has your name on it home. But what I'm saying is if you separate everything when you get home, it's no longer a baddie bag. It's no longer bad. It's just a series of items. It's just items. The bag was the transportation, the vessel that got the items home. And when you spread everything out and you look at it, you're like, oh, this is a bunch of crap. And then it makes it easy to make a decision from there. And that's what you want. You actually want to separate everything so that there's not the illusion of, oh, look at this gift, look at this bag, look at this setup. And you hear people do it all the time. It's like, oh, like, look at all of that together. You gotta separate it. Come home, separate it all, let whatever you gravitate towards, consume you. Okay. So if you're like, ooh, like this lotion's great, it smells good, and it's a sample size, keep it, throw it in your bag, throw it in, you know, your travel kit, put it beside, you know, your bed on your nightstand, and then use it. And then if it becomes a habit, if you're like, oh, I was I used that like six nights in a row, that hand moisturizer, and I love it. Where now, where did I get that from, or how can I get more? Because then you're not being sold anything. You know, all people are asking is that you try it, you did, you either love it or hate it, and you know right away if you love it or hate it. And then you either move forward and buy their product, or you go the other direction and you say, Yeah, I'm not really crazy about this. Maybe you like show it to somebody real quick and you're like, Do you want to try this? And they're like, No. And they're like, okay, and you throw it away. If it's something that can be recycled, you can recycle it. If it's like a big product, for instance, I did a consultation for my hairstylist years ago. It was a free consultation. He had done my hair. He lived in the building that was above the salon, and he kept talking while he was doing my hair, saying, Oh my gosh, my place is a mess. And I said, Well, I can come look at it really quick. And so we went upstairs, and he and his partner had created this little space that had, you know, a bunch of products because he was a hairstylist. And then his partner also had a bunch of stuff. So I was kind of giving him some advice and we had talked about working together. It was a very, very busy season for me, and the salon was kind of a far drive for me. And so going to get my hair done, you know, once every six weeks was fine. But going back to do like a multiple-day project, I was like, you know what? Let me just give you like 10 minutes of advice, suggestions. Instead of paying me to come back, I'm just gonna tell you what I think you should do. And at the end of the 10, 15 minutes, he's like, oh my gosh, that was so helpful. Here's a big thing of conditioner. And it was like 33 ounces. And I kid you not, I am still using that bottle of conditioner. And I've alternated it with other things over the past couple of years. And honestly, at some point, I'm just gonna toss whatever's left because once you've kept a product a couple of years, it really just isn't as great as when you first open the bottle. Um, I probably should have tossed it about six months ago, but the consistency was still fine, didn't smell weird, but I got a lot of free conditioner and I wasn't gonna charge him anything, but he felt like there was a lot of value and didn't expect to pay me. But he was like, hey, we've got this big bottle of conditioner, and I'm like, I'll take it. Because it was the same product line that he had used on me just hours before. So it wasn't like I was taking something that I didn't know what it smelled like or how it felt on my hair. It was like, oh, cool. Like this is a bonus. Like I went to get my hair done. And instead of paying $30 or $40 to get a smaller version, I literally gave him a consult and gave him advice and encouragement. And I ended up with like two years worth of conditioner. It's fine to say, yes, I'll go ahead and take that. You just want to make sure it's something that you're gonna use. And if you've taken it and you change your mind or your kid changes their mind, then there's nothing wrong with figuring out an alternate plan and then moving on with your life. Because if you don't actually use a goodie bag, it becomes a baddie bag where you don't use the stuff inside of it, you don't reuse the bag, and it becomes this thing that just hangs over your head and you really can't move forward from it. And then you really can't get into a better habit of rejecting the stuff down the road that you know you don't want. And it's just this vicious cycle that you never ever can escape. So I hope this episode was helpful. Please make sure to give us a review on Apple Podcasts. I would greatly appreciate a five-star review if you've enjoyed the content, or you can email me at labelorganizing at gmail.com. Let me know if I can improve the show, if you're not happy with something, and I will do the best that I can. I hope you guys have a great week, and I will see you in the next episode.