1v1MeDM
The board is set, the dice are laid out, it's time to ROLL! Join the 1v1MeDM on their wacky adventures in the realm of imagination. Enjoy our unique style of Storytelling, Comedy and Original Music to give you the ultimate Adventure experience! Will our characters find treasure, fame and fortune? Tune in every month to find out!
1v1MeDM
Night of the Zandies/Curse of the Wereturkey
Night of the Zandies
Ever woken up to find the world not quite as terrifying as you left it? Dracula sure has, and his once-menacing castle is now just another stop on the village children's Halloween candy route. Thisd Halloween special will have you in stitches as we share the side-splitting tale of a Dracula who discovers his reign of terror has been reduced to a mere party trick. Don't miss the monstrous fun, as we bring you a Halloween episode brimming with charm, chaos, and a vampire desperately trying to reclaim his title as the night's biggest fright.
Curse of the Wereturkey
Gather 'round for a monstrous turkey tale with a side of supernatural snafus. When Dracula's plans go awry and he accidentally creates a were-whiteboard (you heard that right), the hilarity only continues to escalates as Dracula attempts to destroy the harvest festival. Don't miss any of the action.........and whats with werepup in the background???
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Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom there was a small, peaceful village where the hero of our tale lived.
Speaker 3:I don't want to be a hero. What I have? Something else in mind.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You don't get to be a bard again. I'm still in therapy from session 5 with that dragon. Hey, I rolled a 20. I know, and I'll never forgive you for that. Fine, fine. What do you want to be, dracula, dracula.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:There goes 20 hours of prep work. I hate you so much right now. Alright, roll dice.
Speaker 4:Ah ah ah. Thank you for watching 1v1 me DM. Hope you enjoy our Halloween special from last year. Be sure to follow for monthly new episodes.
Speaker 1:Ah, ah ah old friend awakens just in time for the local village's celebration of Halloween. On a hilltop on the outskirts of the village stands an old, eerie castle, a coffin creaks open and a pale figure arises Igor, right behind you, master.
Speaker 4:Ah, don't scare me like that. You'll scare me half to death.
Speaker 1:As you wish, master, did you have a pleasant bat nap?
Speaker 4:Ah, Master, Did you have a pleasant bad nap? Ah, yes, I dreamed the whole world bowed before me and the Hellstein line was no more. Ah, ah, ah. How long was I asleep for Igor?
Speaker 1:Not long Master, only 100 years. And you woke up just in time for your favorite holiday, halloween.
Speaker 4:Ah, Halloween, the anniversary of the first Dracula becoming a vampire. Tonight, we always remind the people why they should live in fear of me. Ah, ah ah.
Speaker 1:About that, sir. During your nap, the villagers began a new festival to celebrate Halloween. It's not quite how you remember.
Speaker 4:What, how dare they desecrate our most sacred tradition, dracula?
Speaker 1:walks over to the window, looks out at the town and notices something strange.
Speaker 4:Why are they all dressed up as monsters?
Speaker 1:Yes, master, that is the new tradition. The children dress up as monsters and go around the village asking for candy. The castle is one of their favorite stops now.
Speaker 4:Igor, have you been giving candy to the children at the castle door while I slept?
Speaker 1:Yes, master, the whole village gives candy. If we didn't, it would be suspicious.
Speaker 4:Well, I suppose that makes sense. Wait, how'd they get past the hellhounds guarding the door?
Speaker 1:Well, the children love dogs and seem to have confused the hellhounds. For them they bring treats and toys and have thoroughly tamed them. Traitors.
Speaker 4:I will deal with them after I've reminded the town why, hello, who is?
Speaker 1:that? Ah, that would be the butcher's daughter, my lord Hmm.
Speaker 4:Igor, grab my cloak. I'm going to town to meet her. Why, master? To make her my vampire bride, of course. Ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 1:Excellent idea, master. I'm sure that will go well. What cloak would you like to take?
Speaker 4:Hmm, it's a very important decision. I believe cloak number 13 will suit me just fine.
Speaker 1:Great choices, always Master.
Speaker 3:I leave the castle and I head to town.
Speaker 1:As Dracula steps out of the castle, he forgets that he can't step out into direct sunlight and lights on fire. Whoosh, hot birds. From inside the castle. A pot of water is thrown onto Dracula, extinguishing the flames, and Igor steps out. Your umbrella, master, thank you. Honeydale is a small, peaceful Victorian village in the middle of nowhere, transylvania. The town is bustling as the merry peasants prepare for their beloved holiday of spookery and sugar. The children, already in costumes, run to and fro trying to find any shopkeepers willing to give them sweets before nightfall. The butcher's daughter stands outside the shop, hanging decorations on the outside of the shop and sneaking small candies to the children as they come by, much to her father's annoyance.
Speaker 3:I walk towards her.
Speaker 4:Good afternoon.
Speaker 1:The daughter turns around to face you.
Speaker 5:A little old to be dressed up, aren't you? And uh, your ear is smoking.
Speaker 3:I reach up subtly and tap it out.
Speaker 4:Ah, yes, it's part of the costume Candle wax, you see? Uh-uh, we haven't been introduced. I am new to the area. Pleased to meet you.
Speaker 1:Alright, I'm gonna need you to roll Charisma with disadvantage.
Speaker 3:Why I'm Dracula. He's literally famous for Charisma and Seduction man.
Speaker 1:Yes, but you're standing in sunlight, your clothes are wet and burned and you smelled like burned garlic. Fine Nine, and let's see with your charisma. Modifier of negative two.
Speaker 3:I wanted more dicks.
Speaker 1:All right, well, that means you rolled a seven. Yeah, she ain't feeling it, Chief.
Speaker 5:It's nice to see a new face. We don't get many like you here, Mr.
Speaker 4:Count.
Speaker 1:Dracula. She glances at the castle and then looks back at you.
Speaker 5:I see, Unfortunately I don't have time for make-believe. I must get back to work. Hanging the dirt curation for tonight. Nice meeting you, Bracula.
Speaker 1:She turns back to the shop but is interrupted by a small child dressed up as a werewolf, which almost looks too real. She turns to the child and hands him a small bit of candy before returning to work. The child runs off, tail wagging.
Speaker 4:I don't think she believes me, and I'm pretty sure that's one of the werewolf pups from the forest. Stupid Halloween ruining my holiday. Why, if this was the old way, she would not have treated me this way. I must stop this way. I must stop this holiday.
Speaker 3:I return to the castle and go to the Bat Lab.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute. What happened to not doing Batman?
Speaker 3:I'm Dracula, I'm the OG Batman.
Speaker 1:Inside the we're not really calling this the Bat Lab, are we? Yes, we are. Ugh, you don't pay me enough for this. Inside the Bat Lab, dracula and Igor work diligently with Wilson taking notes, taking notes.
Speaker 4:Ah ah ah. I've done it, igor, my masterpiece. With this potion, I hold up the glass bottle. I will destroy this false Halloween and restore it to its former glory. The night shall once again be full of terror. Ah ah ah.
Speaker 1:You've improved, master. It only took you six hours to make it and only three explosions. This time, igor turns to Wilson and you are okay, my friend. The word yes appears on the ash-covered whiteboard.
Speaker 4:Come, igor, the night is here and we have guests to deliver candy to. Ah, ah, ah ah.
Speaker 1:Halloween has arrived and the children sprinted to their favorite stop on the night of many years the old eerie castle on the top of the hill. Thanks to me, don't interrupt me Now. Where was I? Ah yes, the old castle on top of the hill. Much to their parents' hypocritical disapproval, the children locked loudly on the door.
Speaker 3:Trick or treat. I opened the door and I greeted the children holding a large green bowl of candy that I poured the potion over.
Speaker 4:Ah, hello, children, Happy Halloween.
Speaker 5:You're not Igor. Yeah, where's Igor? We want Igor, we want Igor.
Speaker 4:Shut up. Do you want your candy or not?
Speaker 5:Did Igor make it or not? Did Igor make it?
Speaker 4:Yes, this is all Igor's homemade candy that you all love. So much.
Speaker 1:My character says through gritted teeth the children accept this and all immediately. Okay, one second, one sec. I need to look something up real quick. Uh, what is your alchemy proficiency? Again, it's maxed. How? How did you just start the zombie apocalypse with candy Science? Suddenly, the children's eyes started glowing green Drool flowed from their mouths and started to groan. Candy, need candy, must eat candy.
Speaker 4:Yes, Consume all the candy. My minions Leave no house untouched. Consume it all for me, Ah, ah ah, okay, roll for initiative.
Speaker 1:What Roll for initiative? They aren't under my control. Nope, congrats, you started this, now roll.
Speaker 3:Ha 18,. I win. Dracula rushes inside the castle and I use my action to slam the door shut behind him. And, as my bonus action, I brace it.
Speaker 1:Just as Dracula slams the bar into position, the door is slammed hard enough that Dracula almost bounces off of it. How goes the perfect plan Master?
Speaker 4:Ah, igor, it all goes according to plan-.
Speaker 1:Dracula is interrupted by the door, exploding into splinters behind him, throwing him forward in a shower of wood to the ground. I told you not to include the strength enhancer. Master the Zandes, really.
Speaker 4:Hey, my potion, my name.
Speaker 1:Ah, fair enough. The Zandes rush into the castle, eyes shining in the dark and drool splashing on the stone floor. Alright, I need you to give me a dex roll.
Speaker 3:Pass.
Speaker 1:I would recommend running master.
Speaker 3:It was at this moment that he knew he f***ed up. I turn and I run down the hall as fast as I can.
Speaker 2:All right, give me another Dex roll.
Speaker 1:Oh s***, the Zandis catch up to Dracula and tackle him. So how's that extra Dex working for you?
Speaker 4:Bites me Hearing the challenge offered the Zandy werepup beat Dracula on the rear end.
Speaker 1:Ah, not you, oh children. Igor holds up a large bowl of candy he made for the children before Dracula woke up this afternoon. All the Zandys stopped and turned to him.
Speaker 5:Igor's candy.
Speaker 1:Fetch children. Igor throws the bowl out the hole that once was a door and the children race after it. They're gone. Master, you can get up off the floor now.
Speaker 4:They're gone master, you can get up off the floor now. Ah, those kids are lucky. I wasn't using my full strength on them. Another plan, perfectly accomplished.
Speaker 1:As you say, master, I'll go dry your bath now so you can clean up. Away from the castle. In the village of Honeydale, the Zandis raked havoc on the town for the rest of the night, eating all of the candy sweets and downing bags of sugar as a dwarf does ale. Luckily, dracula's potion only lasted until the next morning, but the sugar that the children consumed did not disappear with the rising of the sun. They stayed awake, continuing to wreak havoc for three days straight, much to the horror of their parents and glee of their grandparents. Many wondered what had caused the outbreak of the Zandis. However, many of the villagers whispered in the dead of night behind closed doors that it was the best Halloween ever.
Speaker 4:Ah, next year I shall have my revenge on those little monsters. I'm going to take my bat nap now. Don't tell Igor. My perfect plan failed.
Speaker 1:He doesn't know that. I already know that the plan failed. Does he Not a clue? In a nearby village, unbeknownst to Dracula and Igor, a certain individual receives a letter that reads Dracula has returned. Thank you for watching. Now what are you doing here? It's the intermission. Go get a snack and a drink. Ugh, go use the bathroom as well. And this podcast is sponsored by no one. We're too small for a sponsor Now. Curse of the Werdurkey. The next episode starts now.
Speaker 4:The townsfolk of Honeydale prepare for their annual harvest festival. But up in the castle, evil mischief stirs. Plan number 42. I shall turn myself into a cat and get adopted by the butcher's daughter so I can learn all her secrets. Then I will use them to make her fall in love with me. What?
Speaker 1:do you think, wilson? The words not your worst idea appear on the whiteboard.
Speaker 4:Ah, it's true, Wilson, most of my ideas are brilliant. Ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 1:As Dracula says, this Igor enters the room holding the tray your tea, sir.
Speaker 3:I take a sip Ah this is amazing, Igor.
Speaker 4:What new flavor is this?
Speaker 1:Pumpkin spice, sir. It is very popular with the locals. I also added some blood for you. Fascinating.
Speaker 4:I'm not quite familiar with this blood. What is it? Turkey, sir? Tis the season, I suppose.
Speaker 1:You're thinking Christmas, sir. This week is the Harvest Festival. Christmas needs to wait its turn.
Speaker 4:Ah, the Harvest Festival, the time when all the villagers celebrate what they are thankful for with a big feast that I'm never invited to.
Speaker 3:Alright, I walk to the window to look out at the town.
Speaker 4:Igor, where are my binoculars?
Speaker 1:I'm not sure, master. I will look for them. Here's your black glass in the meantime. Really, bat glass. It's a freakin' spyglass with bat wings taped to the side. Bartender, another ale, and keep them coming. I look through the spyglass into town dracula looks through the glass, he sees the town of honeydale alive, with the townsfolk setting up decorations for the festival. A glint of light catches his eyes and he sees the werepup with his binoculars in his mouth never mind ig Igor.
Speaker 4:I found them that daaah-.
Speaker 1:Dracula stops suddenly as he notices the werepup glaring back at him, almost as if he could sense Dracula speaking ill of him.
Speaker 3:Ah, that werepup scares me.
Speaker 1:I look back again Give me a perception roll.
Speaker 3:Alright, uh.
Speaker 1:Uh 18. On top of the townsfolk preparing for the festival, dracula notices the butcher's daughter exiting her father's shop and beginning to walk down the main street.
Speaker 4:Hmm, I believe this is the perfect time to explore the Harvest Festival and gather more information on my future bride-to-be.
Speaker 1:Excellent idea, Master. She will need to know you exist before she falls in love with you. Don't forget your umbrella this time. We don't need you to be catching on fire again.
Speaker 3:I take my umbrella and go to town to explore the Harvest vessel and learn more about the Butcher's Daughter.
Speaker 1:As Dracula walks through the town he takes in the sights and smells of the festival preparations. After a few minutes of walking he finally finds the Butcher's Daughter.
Speaker 3:I approach the Butcher's Daughter to greet her Good afternoon milady.
Speaker 5:Oh, hello again, Dracula, wasn't it? Haven't seen you for some time.
Speaker 1:As the butcher's daughter says this a rugged figure walks by cigar in mouth and immediately grabs her attention.
Speaker 5:Oh, hello Van. How are you today?
Speaker 2:Good afternoon, ma'am. I'm fine. How are you, Valyee?
Speaker 5:I'm doing quite well, thank you. I see you are getting ready to go on the annual harvest hunt.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's an exciting tradition and quite dangerous. The wilds are full of creatures. I promised to bring back the biggest turkey for the town".
Speaker 1:Hope you get a big bird with your strong arms" she says as she bats her eyes we apologize for this terrible writing due to the writer's strike. Now back to the show. The butcher's daughter takes Vaan by the arm and continues to talk to him as they head to the edge of town. Am I being ignored? Would you like to make a perception check?
Speaker 3:No, I don't need to. I know when a girl's ignoring me. I have extensive experience in this matter.
Speaker 1:Ah, me too.
Speaker 5:All around me are familiar faces, worn out places worn out faces.
Speaker 1:Oi nerds, stop being depressing. If I wanted that, I'd go talk to any of my exes. Now back to the paler nerd failing at romance. You'd think after 600 years he'd be better at this, achoo.
Speaker 4:Was someone talking about me? Ah, they must have been terrified by my return. Ah, ah, ah. So she wants a big bird, does she? Very well, I shall give the hunters the last turkey they shall ever see. Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 3:I turn into a bat and fly back to the castle, to the bat lab.
Speaker 1:Are you sure you want to do that?
Speaker 3:Uh, it is the fastest mode of travel for me.
Speaker 1:It would also set you on fire Again.
Speaker 3:Oh right, sunlight Umbrella. I need a bat-sized umbrella, a bat-brella.
Speaker 1:Can I unalive him? No, I need him for the content. We can find another pale nerd. They're not exactly in short supply. No, bat dwarf, don't make me get the spray bottle. You wouldn't dare try me. Fine nerd, Back at the Batlab. Ugh, I still hate that name.
Speaker 4:Ah, ah, ah, I've done it, igor. Another masterpiece, because the last one worked perfectly. Master, exactly, it worked perfect.
Speaker 1:Should we not test it first, master?
Speaker 4:Yes, grab a turkey.
Speaker 1:Sir, we only brought the one, turkey, from town. Maybe we should test it on something else first.
Speaker 4:Ah, yes.
Speaker 3:Good point, igor. I look around the lab slowly, I Wilson with a creepy smile, I take the syringe in hand and stab the whiteboard with it Dirty 12.
Speaker 1:Okay, um, what's the AC of a magic whiteboard again? Oi, you nerds don't know this. It's 2. Wait, where does it say that Monster Guide, 3rd Edition, page 34, by Mages of the Beach? What we're not doing 3rd Edition, we're doing 5th. Wait, why go 3rd to 5th? That doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3:Because the 4th doesn't exist.
Speaker 1:That still doesn't make. Hey, hey, the fourth doesn't exist. If you three are done. Dracula has already stabbed Wilson and uh well, see for yourself. Wait what, oh sh**. Wilson begins to rock back and forth violently. Suddenly he begins to change. Dracula and Igor watch in shock and awe, as before them, wilson the white-bored has grown cat ears and a tail. What I step back.
Speaker 4:See, igor, it worked perfectly.
Speaker 3:Igor. I turn to look at Igor.
Speaker 1:Dracula sees the door to the Batlab slam shut. In the sound of the door locking, igor Dracula slowly turns to see Wilson, right next to him. On the whiteboard the word meow appears. I don't think it worked, oh it worked perfectly.
Speaker 1:Nice roll for initiative with disadvantage due to the fact that we want to maintain an ear rating, we won't be able to show or describe the events that transpired, but I'm pleased to announce that the battle app will be out of commission for quite some time. After his fatal, he's already undead. True, after his sort of fatal encounter with the weatherboard, dracula prepares for the turkey hunt in his study.
Speaker 4:Thank you, Nurse Lich.
Speaker 5:You're welcome, master, but you know, you can just call me Liz.
Speaker 1:Ah, now I've seen it all A were-whiteboard and now a lich flirting with a vampire. Buddy, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Speaker 3:Should we tell him about the sword?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. Let him enjoy his ignorant bliss. Bartender, I need a mug of your strongest beverage. You know what? Bring me the entire keg, I'm gonna need it.
Speaker 4:Igor, fetch my hunting clothes. Master, do you want the tights also? Of course, the outfit doesn't work without them. These are hard to get on. You've got to be a man to wear tights. Igor, come, igor, it's time to go hunting.
Speaker 1:Dracula and Igor leave the castle with a fat turkey in tow. They don't travel long before the werepup follows, by curiosity or because he wants to eat a fat turkey. The party arrives at the forest to hatch their evil plan on the unsuspecting hunters.
Speaker 4:It is time, igor. Today we ruin the festival hunt. Give me the turkey.
Speaker 1:As you wish, master.
Speaker 3:I take the syringe of werejuice and stab the turkey in the neck with the needle.
Speaker 1:The turkey begins to grow. Its legs stretch and large claws appear. Its wings spread out and extend, with spikes at the end, and where its beak once was, a large mouth with jagged teeth forms Hearing the roar. The hunter is seeing the turkey screaming terror in the way. All but one, that is the lone hunter, van, stands firm, drawing his crossbow.
Speaker 4:Attack my minion.
Speaker 1:Okay, I need you to make an animal handling roll.
Speaker 3:Shouldn't I have advantage?
Speaker 1:Did you have it with Wilson?
Speaker 3:Never mind, ah, I need new dice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do. The were-turkey turns around ignoring the fleeing hunters in fun and eyes Dracula with a murderous glare.
Speaker 4:Igor, perhaps my perfect plan needed some work. We should go, igor.
Speaker 1:Dracula turns to see Igor Holy for being 2,000 years old, he's very spry.
Speaker 4:I didn't know he could move that fast either, and that's the second time today he's left me. Ah, I should be running too.
Speaker 1:Yes, you should. Turkey charges you. Give me a deck save with disadvantage. Ah s***. The were-turkey knocks Dracula prone as it runs him over. Dracula attempts to rise as the were-turkey turns around to charge again, but before he can a crossbow bolt strikes it hard on the side and a shadowy figure jumps between Dracula and the beast.
Speaker 2:Die monster. You shall not hurt this weak old man hey.
Speaker 4:I'm not that old.
Speaker 1:You're older than the Roman Empire, you knife-eared albino. Anyway, the turkey growls and charges Vaan.
Speaker 2:That's right. Come at me, you fiendish fowl.
Speaker 1:He fires another bolt at the charbishing beast, but it only grazes it. The wearer, turkey, continues to charge. Vaan rolls out of the way. He fires another bolt at the charbishing beast, but it only grazes it.
Speaker 4:The were-a-turkey continues to charge, Vaan rolls out of the way and Dracula is knocked down again.
Speaker 2:Why didn't you protect me? Why didn't you charge old man? I don't like you, vaan. I don't care. I'm in the monster hunting business. I don't have time for nasties.
Speaker 1:Before Van can say another word, the were-turkey out of nowhere hits him in the side and sends him flying into Dracula, knocking them both to the ground. Ah my spleen. The were-turkey stands over Dracula and Van growling. Suddenly from the bushes behind him, a large roar echoes through the forest. The were-turkey squeaks in fear and runs away From the bushes. The were-pump jumps out and chases after the turkey. Vaan gets up and chases after the both of them. Hey, come back here.
Speaker 2:I'm not done yet, you big gobbler.
Speaker 4:I hope the werepup eats him Stupid hat and all. Now where did my shoes go?
Speaker 1:After searching long and hard, dracula was only able to find one of his shoes. He returned to the castle battered and bruised to find Igor waiting for him. Welcome home, master. You've returned just in time for what happened to your left shoe? Master.
Speaker 4:Ah, I don't want to talk about it. And, igor, why did you leave me?
Speaker 1:Apologies, master, I had a turkey in the oven for supper.
Speaker 4:I think I've had enough turkey to last a millennia.
Speaker 1:As you wish, master, I will dispose of the turkey. What happened after I left, master?
Speaker 4:Ah, the werepup chased away the turkey before it could hurt me more. Oh, you mean?
Speaker 1:Dennis, master Dennis, yes, dennis, the werepup from the pack in the forest.
Speaker 4:Ah, he's quite the menace.
Speaker 1:The Harvest Festival began later that day. The townsfolk gathered together to celebrate the new year of a successful harvest. They played music, sang songs and enjoyed the entertainment and merriment. Many of the hunters told the tale of the wild beasts in the forest and how Vaan fought to save them all.
Speaker 3:Vaan never brought up the fact that he didn't save them and that in fact, it was a small wet pup from the forest named Dennis hey. Thanks for watching our first episode from our Halloween and Thanksgiving animated specials.
Speaker 1:So 1v1, the DM will be releasing all of our previous content on here and other podcast platforms every two weeks. New episodes will be uploaded as well once the podcast catches up to where our YouTube animation channel is.
Speaker 3:Hope y'all have a great week and see you next time on 1v1 Me DM.
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