Adventures in Marriage
We began this latest adventure to encourage others and share some of the blessings we experienced in our marriage. We recently celebrated our 25 Wedding Anniversary and noticed how many good people went through very difficult divorces. We have struggled watching family and friends end relationships that meant so much to us and many others. We want to elevate marriage in the cultural conversation and help others realize the blessings God has for them when they love their spouse as Christ loves the church...and along the way, we get to spend a little more time together!
Adventures in Marriage
San Antonio E52
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If you have ever returned from vacation and said, "Eh, it was ok," this episode is for you! With changing interests and maturity levels, the Hornsby children challenge Courtney and Shawn on what it means to vacation together in this season of life. Expectations, memories, interruptions and so much more on this Adventure!
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All right, love, here we go. Let's do it again. Um, little adventures and marriage talk time, huh?
SPEAKER_01Episode 52.
SPEAKER_02I would I would forgot to count. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Episode 52. We're rolling through the episodes here, pile in the month.
SPEAKER_00Yes, and you know, we've made some personal goals for uh recording so many per year, and we are behind, very behind for the month of July. And July's almost over, so we we knew we had to roll something out. So here we are. So thanks everybody for checking in and listening on to episode 52 of Adventures in Marriage Podcast.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna try and get this uploaded tonight. That way it's live like the next day.
SPEAKER_00Great. We'll see if that happens. So uh welcome everybody. Thank you for joining us to listen, uh, check us out, Adventures in Marriage Podcast. Want to let everybody know from the beginning that we do now have a Facebook page. We have Adventures in Marriage Facebook page. We would love to bump up those followers. We also have TikTok too. We are not very good on TikTok, very few posts on TikTok, but we are trying. So follow us, like us, do something. Do something to get the TikTok numbers up.
SPEAKER_02The band the bandwidth is is fairly tapped out. We we have to like we probably have to say no going back to our last episode, right? We probably have to say no to something so that we can put a little more emphasis on that. What do you think?
SPEAKER_00Maybe so. But we do have Facebook, uh, thanks to everybody who's following us so far. And and really the Facebook page is going to be a place for our podcast episodes to land. So we'll put our new episodes there, but we also will put old older episodes that we want to make sure that some of you maybe haven't gotten to listen to if you're just now checking us out. And I did have a couple of people just in recent weeks who have said, Hey, I actually checked you out. I found you on Spotify. I listened. So we've been enjoying, you know, it's such a treat to watch the numbers jump up. We're definitely not, you know, like some mega podcast raking in all the numbers, but you know, pretty respectable for somebody, you know, who be people who do this on the side who have two full-time jobs, and oh yeah, we have a business and other things that we do. So uh it's been fun to see them from other areas as well.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, the whole point of doing this was to just offer some encouragement and place for people to, you know, maybe think about what they're doing in their marriage and and in their relationships, and you know, and that's what I've heard people say.
SPEAKER_00I love listening to it, it's just real. So, you know, we're not trying to make it sound better than what it is, not trying to make it sound worse than it is. Just like, hey, we're just here, life, life can be hard, it's challenging, and uh, we're just it's sharing our experiences so that people realize, oh, okay, it's not just me. I'm not the only one, or maybe a little encouragement and a little hope. And and I think that's kind of where we're leading into today is just kind of a real account of where we are in in a particular facet of life, and and we'll kind of flush that out a little bit. And what does that mean for us and how does it change moving forward? So uh for anybody who's followed us either on Instagram, because we're on Instagram too, or Facebook, uh we did just take a vacation and we've been back now for over a week, a little over a week, and that was a family vacation. So Sean and I have we did our own vacation earlier in the year. We try to make a point to do getaways every, you know, every couple months or every few weeks that might just be an overnight.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it just depends on the season and what's going on there. Right.
SPEAKER_00And that's mainly just come to com be able to completely break away from the day-to-day grind of what we have to deal with and what we do. But this one was a week-long family vacation.
SPEAKER_02Yes. And I I gotta tell you, as we get started, um it's funny because I was because Stephanie here at the church uh was out um the the weekend after we got back, you know, and and this last week. And so we hadn't seen each other in in almost two weeks. And she she asked, Well, how was your vacation? And I looked at her and it's exactly what we're gonna talk about, you know, and I just said, Um, it was okay. And she's like, I know, right? Uh, because they they were in the Gulf, they were out there on the on the on the Gulf Coast with whatever that storm was. Bertha, whatever storm it was, yeah. Yeah, Big Bertha trying to uh uh bear down on them. And so it just you know the plans just don't unfold the way you hope they are. And she's like, she she she's kind of looked at me like, is it okay that I say that? I said, It's absolutely. I mean, it's true.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02We we we're grateful for the time, that's what we both said, and we went away, but it just wasn't it didn't meet expectations.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I think so that gosh, that could be a whole podcast, right? Expectations. So we all have our expectations of what we think or what we expect the the the event, the vacation, the whatever to be. And it's not if it doesn't live up to those expectations, then is it a failure? Is is it ruined? You know the the difficult part where we're entering now is we if we go on a family vacation, we're a family of five, and the three children are not really children anymore, 22, 20, and 16. And let's just face that, they're how are you ever gonna meet the expectations of all five of us?
SPEAKER_02Well, and and they also suffer from being opinionated.
SPEAKER_00Very much so. And have traveled quite a bit and have done several different things over the course of their lives.
SPEAKER_02By design, we we've uh definitely tried to give them more experiences than stuff, and and so they they are um a little choosy, a little bougie in in their choices, yeah, and their desires.
SPEAKER_00Because they have been able to do all these different things. Yeah, non-exotic, crazy vacations, but they have traveled extensively and we've done yeah, different things. So this vacation, uh, we went to a destination that we had not been to before. Uh, we went to San Antonio, Texas. So we've never been there before.
SPEAKER_02Um which is surprising given given it all of our you know travels you and me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh we've been to Austin and Houston, of course, and and we've even gone out west uh through El Paso out into New Mexico and so but for some reason San Antonio was just always off the radar. Right. Which of course Texas is a huge state. That's right.
SPEAKER_00So it's really easy to not do that. So and didn't really realize that hill country, which I've heard about forever, uh, was really all right there. It was only like an hour from San Antonio. So we were staying at a very nice resort. Uh that was kind of our home base and beautiful pool, and really looking forward to the sunshine and the pool time and all that. Didn't make a lot of plans. That's something that we have found, like not too regimented, uh, but just to go out and explore. And so here's here's how some of this already starts off differently. One of our children was taking a girl's trip the weekend before, and so she was already driving ahead to that put not that same area, but very close to it. So she was already gonna be in that area. So as she started thinking about it and looking at dates, it didn't make sense for her to drive all the way back home just to get in a vehicle with us and us drive all the way back out. So she just decided to stay there, and we didn't really make that connection until just days before the trip. Yeah, and so that meant we had to uh because she's not 21 or or 25, I guess. We we couldn't just rent a hotel room and have her meet us at the hotel room because she can't check in. She's not old enough, they're not gonna let her. So we ended up having to get uh an Airbnb, which was just like somebody's house. It was like an extra, you know, building behind someone's house. And it was fine for the few hours we were there, we weren't there that long, but already vacation was different. Yes, and she had her vehicle, and so then the rest of us are in your vehicle. We get down there prel relatively drama-free. It was quiet, hot, kind of boring, you know. Most exciting thing is we went to Whataburger and had lunch. It was a nice, clean, like modern Whataburger with a bunch of guitars on display. So that was cool.
SPEAKER_02That was good. Yeah, I forgot about that.
SPEAKER_00That was cool. And then um we met up with our daughter. Uh we we couldn't really, it was a Monday, and Mondays a lot of restaurants are closed, couldn't quite find a place to eat, but we ended up finding a place to eat in a cute little town that near where she was staying called Saledo or Solado, however you say it. And they have a um kind of an artesian uh spring that runs through the town that has this huge creek of clean, clear water over these rocks. And so we ate and we ended up walking down there. The kids got in the creek and played. Yeah, we saw lots of deer, and this was unexpected. It was just this nice little thing, nice way to end the evening, and it was like, okay, this is a great start. Just easy, chilled back, vacation, and what a fun little moment just to watch them all play in the world. Very sweet, very sweet. Yeah, very sweet. So then we get up the next morning, have a nice coffee, and I'm setting the stage here. I know. But we have we have a you know, go to a local uh coffee shop that's an old house that's been converted. We all had great cups of coffee, you know, these specialty things that are made, and then physically get in the vehicles to make the drive to San Antonio, and then the bottom falls out. Yeah, I'll let you my eyes were closed most of the time. So to be fair, I'm gonna let you tell this part of the story.
SPEAKER_02Uh I zone out. I mean, I I'm I'm like so focused on the road that I'm not really cataloging stuff, but um we had rain, lots and lots of like sheets of rain that came down, and so with our daughter driving separately ahead of her. Yeah, she she's in a she's in her vehicle by herself because that's the way she likes to travel. And um she's rolling down the road and and she's very comfortable driving, and she's ahead of us at some point. But uh I got ahead of her and we're we're we're rolling, and you know, we get w were we in Austin or we got through Austin.
SPEAKER_00We hadn't been to Austin yet. We were on our way to Austin.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we're on our way to Austin. And then you know, traffic picks up quite a bit, and uh it's it's kind of messy and and uh you know lots of rain. Uh where did the accident happen?
SPEAKER_00Between Saledo and Austin.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. It was outside of Austin. It wasn't quite. We we hadn't even made San Antonio, that's right. Uh it's it's heavy rain, and and we're fortunately, praise God, we were not close. There weren't a lot of cars close to us. People were keeping their distance because it was hard to see at in some places.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, you couldn't see very well at all.
SPEAKER_02And people were, you know, they had their flashers on, uh the trucks were doing pretty good, the big trucks. And and I did the old um the old hack of putting my sunglasses on, which you know, people look at me like I'm crazy, but it really works in that thick rain. And uh so we're rolling and I'm keeping a great follow distance, like lots of space. And all of a sudden this SUV that's you know probably four car links ahead of us, I don't know if it hydroplaned or if a tire blew or what, but it it it just kind of spun out right there and was thrown into the wall, uh the the center barrier, and uh smashed into it, and I thought it was gonna roll back out uh into traffic where we were. But because of the way the wheels were turned and the forward momentum, it's facing us, but it's two lanes over, and and it came out, but then it went back into the wall, and one of the tires slid across the three lanes of traffic, or yeah. And I'm like, oh my gosh. And so I changed lanes, you know, check the mirrors and everything, kind of made one adjustment. But praise God, we we you know we avoided all that, and your head was down, your eyes were closed.
SPEAKER_00I couldn't look. And I do.
SPEAKER_02I have the kids in the back were worried about, oh, is he okay? I was like, hey guys, we cannot stop. We will cause more problems than we we helped. Uh the best thing we can do, you know, is just pray for him. And then and then we we did not call because we were so in the middle of it, but uh, I'm assuming somebody did.
SPEAKER_00You know, I I really do have just so very, very strong anxiety driving, but being the passenger too, it just it really it gets to be where it's painful, it just makes my head hurt, makes my stomach hurt, and so I just couldn't even look. Anyway, so we we get through most of the rain, get to San Antonio, which is gosh, a lot of construction. There was a wreck in San Antonio, traffic is crazy. Yeah, so it was already a very stressful start just getting there. It was and and uh having a child who's trying to drive, and then you know, just the challenges of that. Well where are we going exactly where well you're worried about him, but where are we going? I mean exactly where we're going.
SPEAKER_02At some point she needed gas.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so she has to pull off, but we kept going.
SPEAKER_00But well, she didn't want to follow us. That's right. So it just makes makes it more complicated than it has to be. Uh it's like, okay, if you're gonna drive yourself, meet us there. Here's where we're going. Good luck. You know, unless you want to follow us. And she did not want to do that. So anyway, you know, this is where things just it it's just different. You know, um I it was very it was always on the agenda that we were gonna go to the river walk because that's the iconic imagery of San Antonio that people go to see, and I wanted to see it. I don't care much about the shopping or anything like that, but I want to experience it. And I'm I'm in city government and community development and planning, so I'm always interested in how these things have work and you know, operate and how they how they look and just all those things. And so we we made it to our destination. We went to the river walk. Sean wanted to see the Alamo, got to check that off the list pretty quickly. I was like, let's check that off first, right? Before anything ruins that, let's say we did the rain has subsided, so we're able to walk around. Yeah, and so we went to you, we walked along the river walk to get to the Alamo, finish that, get back to the riverwalk, have uh a meal along the riverfront. But nobody in my party was impressed with the riverfront, river walk, whatever you want to call it.
SPEAKER_02Dirty water.
SPEAKER_00They had uh a boat tour where they'd give you the history and take you on it. Nope, nobody's interested. Nobody wants to do it.
SPEAKER_02I think you you probably should have advocated more for that. If that was something because I I I was like, I think Courtney wants to do this, but she's not really saying like, hey, I want to do this.
SPEAKER_00You know, yeah, I'd ask, and that was the wrong thing to do because they were like, You just gotta say it. Nope, don't want to do it. Okay, well, I guess we're not doing it. You know, because I didn't want to fight it. They were all kind of cranky, they'd been in the car. They were cranky with each other and go back to the mall, kids. Yeah, they didn't want to be at the mall either. They didn't like that. So, so anyway, you know, it just sets the stage for you know, and and and again, they're older, but then they're still, well, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? And they're waiting for Sean and I to create an agenda and make this plan, though most of the time they're not gonna like the plan. They're not gonna like what we what we've said. And and you know, I've gotten to where I don't always want to have to make a plan everywhere we go.
SPEAKER_02Decision fatigue. Yeah, I mean, that's part of it. Yeah, because you do it all day at work, you do it at home for dinner, and it's like we're on vacation, let's just go with it.
SPEAKER_00Right. And that's where he and I've been. Uh I think we have been able to be pretty successful about that, of just kind of figuring out where we want to go, what we want to do, um and and working out compromises, like if that's somewhere you want to go or somewhere I want to go, we figure it out, we compromise. But you know, we did all that when they were little. We made all the decisions because they were little, because they couldn't make them for themselves, they couldn't transport themselves, they depended on us. But now it's like, okay, well, let's, you know, let's find some of our own entertainment. Here's a pool, here's the pickleball court, one of you has a vehicle. I mean, there's some opportunity there, but it's still that, well, what are we doing? What are you planning? Why haven't why haven't you planned anything? Why aren't you and dad better at planning? You know, just and it kind of became where we were berated and critiqued extensively.
SPEAKER_02You went there, didn't you? I love it. Which part No, no, no, it's good. I mean, threw the kids under the bus.
SPEAKER_00Well, no, I just felt like well, because you didn't land, we can't have a vacation because you don't have a plan.
SPEAKER_02Oh, well, you know. And and I've been I've been noticing that for years, is the uh entertain me part of it. And and when they were smaller and they could go with the flow, exactly what you're saying, we we planned it and they just went with us, and we, you know, it was we had to. We're like, hey, you guys are like of of age where you can do things, you you have jobs. We got you here. Entertain yourself, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, or they all have a phone, they could all research.
SPEAKER_02That's right. Well, that's that's the thing, and not just vacation-wise, but in life, it's like you have the greatest access to information than any other generation ever come before you. Look it up, man. Look it up.
SPEAKER_00Uh why am I the only one who can find places to eat?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, I I'm I I'm not better at searching on the phone than you are. Like, if anything, y'all should be well better off than I am when it comes to that. And so it but then I just find for me, and I'm speaking for me, not for you, vacation is work. It's not purely enjoyment, relaxation. There are moments of that, and we can talk about some of those.
SPEAKER_02Sweet moments, yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's work. And then I and I I think moms feel this more than dads. The guilt. Well, I'm not giving them the vacation they wanted. I'm not giving them the experience they wanted. Right. We're not making those memories because I failed to do something.
SPEAKER_02You you definitely feel that more than I do because I don't feel that.
SPEAKER_00I know, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I I I look at it as what what do you mean? I I I gave you this resort.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02I gave you a road a trip over here, you know? Because we paid for we paid for gas for the other one that drove herself. Yeah, I don't feel like I don't feel uh guilt about anything. Yeah. Um if anything, I'm mad at you for talking to me right now. Leave me alone. I want to read my book. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But that is the difference. That I mean, we we definitely legitimately uh feel that uh as husband, wife, mom, dad, whatever you want to call it. And and getting on the same page with that and coming to terms with that in this season of life is very interesting because um I even threw it out to you months ago. You know, hey, let's just make this an adults only trip. Like like a mom and dad, a husband and wife trip. And and maybe we even like since we've got the other room, maybe we invite one of our friends, our couple friends. You know, they can stay in one one uh it's like a it's like a resort hotel. They could stay in one room and we could stay in another room.
SPEAKER_00And we didn't do that.
SPEAKER_02That's okay. Yeah. I mean, we still have some sweet memories at times, but but one of the other challenges was um the weather. The weather. I mean, we're in hill Texas Hill Country, they're getting um record-breaking rain and a what? This is like a tornado. Right. As well as gonna describe it was uh a once in twenty year a twenty-year event with having a tornado uh less than a mile from our resort.
SPEAKER_00Had to go down to the bottom floor.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we get the announcement in the morning. You know, they come over the speaker and they're like, uh please report to the third floor.
SPEAKER_00That is your the bottom floor of the hotel, basically.
SPEAKER_02What what do they call it? The um the shelter in place area, designated shelter in place area. So we had we had some challenges because some of the opportunities uh to entertain yourselves, to engage in recreation, all that kind of stuff, they were taken away from us by the weather.
SPEAKER_00Right. Yeah. So we you know, we decided to do some day trips because this is hill country. We realized how close we were to some of those areas that we'd been looking at, like Fredericksburg, and some of those that we'd wanted to participate in. So we did. We made a day trip, had a lot of rain, dealt with the rain going there, and and you know, so it it cleared up enough where we could walk around. Um, but we didn't realize, we just didn't realize, first of all, and several of the r uh stores, for example, in Fredericksburg were closed, and it said closed due to weather. It wasn't raining that day, but we were learning again, which was which was an opportunity to learn more about the region of the country we were in and the geography. Flash flooding is an issue there. Yeah, and they were preparing for flash flooding. Some had already happened, but more was coming, more meaning the next day, where the Guadalupe River rose to like 32 feet within hours. And so there were massive, you know, people, uh uh community and civic groups and emergency response folks getting ready. And throughout Hill Country, there were people that were uh being affected by. This we were never personally affected. Our hotel was high up. San Antonio's built higher up, I think. You know, it was more of the urban city. So we never experienced that. But some of the places we wanted to go. No.
SPEAKER_02We experienced in that some of the like you were just saying, some of the places we wanted to go were closed or tubing in the river, you know.
SPEAKER_00There was no tubing in the river. The river would have washed you away.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that would have been a bad call.
SPEAKER_00So we just didn't we didn't we knew there was gonna be some rain, but obviously you can't plan for that. You just don't know what the rain's gonna do, the weather. But we just didn't know how significant the weather was gonna be, which is kind of sort of in a weird way funny because years ago, six years ago, matter of fact, six years ago when Sean and I had our 20th wedding anniversary, we took a trip, just an adult trip, thank God, because I don't think we would have survived if we had the kids. We went to Cape Cod and what was at Cape Cod?
SPEAKER_02A 20-year event, uh tornado came across the island, uh, and it hadn't happened exactly for like 19 or 20 years, kind of like the same thing in San Antonio, and it knocked out the power. And the water, which which affected the water because and the in the power they knew they weren't because of the uh the setup there, they weren't gonna get it on for a couple of days. They said, We can't keep you in the resort because we don't have water pressure, we can't maintain water pressure, therefore you have to go.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So we were days in, like we were days from being ready to check out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we had days left at the resort, and so we uh took the open road there and we stayed at uh motels, like classic motels. Or the key with the key the blue dolphin inn uh where they give you the big brass key, one level motel rooms and the blue goose.
SPEAKER_00What the blue spruce room spruce, that's it.
SPEAKER_02And so you had um you had the I mean, these are classic roadside motels where you have a front door and a back door.
SPEAKER_00Opened up to like a little patio, like a like a common patio area for everyone.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, in in that way it was iconic and it was really neat, but it was not the plan.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and our people would not have appreciated it.
SPEAKER_02No, they wouldn't have survived that at all.
SPEAKER_00No, no, but we were like, how many times are we gonna go on a trip with a tornado? So that we might have to pull we took a picture down in the lobby during the evacuation shelter in place. I still have wet hair. And then uh there's a picture from us uh in Cape Cod with the tornado. Might have to do a little comparison there. Check it out on Facebook if you want to see that, go to our page Adventures and Marriage.
SPEAKER_02And this is not this is not us whining. This is us saying, look, life is changing. Uh our kids have opinions and and uh of of their own. They're of an age where we don't exactly just scoop them up and and drag them off to one thing or the other. And and I think it's opening up conversations for for me and for you know for the two of us to say, okay, how do we travel together? Do we do we bring our kids? Is this a time where we need to separate that? But we don't want to.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But we also want to be able to enjoy and not have the hardship.
SPEAKER_02We don't want us all to be miserable, but at the same time, we we also I mean, let's face it, uh uh there were that that time at the park when we're kind of goofing off and we see the water snake, you know, um, you know.
SPEAKER_00This is our San Antonio trip.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the enchanted rock park. We didn't know that it was about to be closed because of the rising water.
SPEAKER_01And rock slides and all the things.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, rock slides, everything else. And you know, and then we go on the adventure on the roadside uh on the way back from the park, and I drive y'all across the rushing waters. The water that roll it's one of those um roads where the water runs over it, and and you and one of the kids who will remain nameless were not pleased that I drove over that. And so, you know, that but we had all kinds of little adventures along the way.
SPEAKER_00Turn around, don't drown.
SPEAKER_02Turn around, don't drown. Yeah, the sign. Uh we stopped at that little um what was that place called?
SPEAKER_00That little uh what it was the little outpost place. It was called Outpost or something that Emily saw. Oh my god. It was a dive on the side of the road that looked like some banjo killer was awaiting.
SPEAKER_02We drove an old school Corvette, you know, from probably early 90s, late 80s, and he was in there smoking cigarettes and hoping to sell beer, and it looked like a straight up dive, like if the the porch fell in, uh a family of raccoons would die or something, you know, that kind of a thing.
SPEAKER_00They three went in there and they laughed about it and had a great laugh about it.
SPEAKER_02I love it, I love it. And so, you know, those kind of things went to Lucanbach, Texas. We drove through Lucanbach, Texas. It was a little dead because, again, the water uh canceled all the events for the week and stuff.
SPEAKER_00So we learn, go listen to the song, but we learn that it's not a town, it's just a venue. It's an old crossroads, like an old school country music venue that has games, yard games, food, bar, stage, and they do music every night uh during the day, and then they have like, you know, just good old country and western dancing, like a barn dance. And the kids, they the girls brought their boots, they were ready. They were like, Can we go one night? And it's like, yeah, I mean, it really wasn't far from where our hotel was. So we're like, that'd be cool, let's do that. Nope. Rain canceled all the performances, you know, washed everything away. So it was just like everything we were trying just kept oh, it was frustrating, you know, it was it was just frustrating. But we do, again, not to whine the whole time. We find pockets of riding in the truck together and laughing about it and playing who knew. Did you know that your children were big fans and lovers of old country music, mainly 90s country music, but they love that's old enough. They love Randy Travis and they love Brooks and Dodd and Alan Jackson, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I know. George Strait. I know, I love that. So we were just listening to all that to and from and passing the phone around so we could, you know, different person gets a a shot at the playlist. Yeah, right. It was great. That again, there's fun and memories you can't plan. Yeah, you cannot plan that. Yeah. And and I think that's probably what what we wish they understood. Some of our sweetest memories are unplanned things. You know, uh they're there are moments where we just allow the moment to unfold and and we have a good time.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. It's hard. Like we've taught ourselves to learn to go with the flow and to seek adventure. This is, by the way, where the name adventures in marriage came from, is just the kind of mini adventures, and I say that with air quotes, that you and I have been on good, bad, crazy, otherwise, but learning to try to go with it and make something out of it, even if it's not what we thought it was gonna be.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and it's fun. Like I I had to um I was sat down with Alan this morning, we were planning for fight in the shade and talking, and we got he was telling me a story about um uh one of these guys that we went on a mission trip with, an older guy from another church that um back at First Methodist weren't across the river where I served, and uh we're trying to remember the year we went on that mission trip. And so I get my Google photos out and I start scrolling, and I'm like, oh yeah, it's this year. You know, we it was 2016 or whatever it was, 2017. And uh we're looking at the pictures and we're like, dude, we've been hanging out a long time together, you know, and having a good time. And we see one of the one of the kids, one of the college kids from back in the day who was on that trip with us, we're like, oh, I forgot about that. I forgot he was there with us. And this guy works at the church and has a kid of his own now. You know, it's like, okay, so some of these things in life just unfold, they're adventures you go on, and you don't even know that it's gonna be as cool as it is until after it's over.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And you just and part of that is like just trusting God and and and one another to make the most of your time together. And and I think that's a that's a place you and I have come to after lots of miles on the road together, and we're hoping our kids get there, but man, sometimes they're just stubborn about it. I feel like they almost need to be you know, like, hey, no, you don't get to go with us, go have your own adventures and figure it out.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Then maybe they'll appreciate it.
SPEAKER_02Well, no, I think part of it is because they depend on us for all those years that we scooped them up and took them and showed them a good time, they haven't had to go make their own good time. No, they're doing it more and more, the girls are especially because you know they're they're taken to the road, but when they're with us, they expect us to do it for them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I'm like, no, go, you know how to do this. Go have fun, make an adventure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's just different, and that's where we are. It's just different, and you know, we don't necessarily want to stop doing that, but we also we like you said a minute ago, we don't want to be miserable. Um and and at times it just got to be that way. You know, just people are tired and cranky and no one can make a decision, and you know, and and then some of us have d decision fatigue and are worried that no matter what decision I make, some it's gonna be wrong and the people are gonna have an issue with it. But you know, again, let's not completely just you know you know, just rain on the whole parade. I mean, we made we made the most of some things. We make it rain jokes and you know, we we had a um a dinner together, and but then you're like, hey, let's go have dessert. And we went and had dessert and we all made a funny video. Yeah. Uh we we went to the San Antonio Zoo and we weren't going to. Someone at the pool told us how great it was, and because some of our other things had gotten cancelled, we were like, Well, let's go. And I ended up finding a great ticket per person that included lunch, included a hot dog lunch with chips and a drink. And you know, and that was fun. And the kids love a zoo, it was a nice zoo, uh, but it's not the same because they're not little anymore, you know. Um we've done lots of zoos with them over the years, but it it was different, but it was still fun. They had a good time with it. We did the uh Japanese tea garden, which was pretty, but it was something I'd wanted to do. Thank you for making us go do it because we went to the zoo. The tea garden the tea garden is on the same campus. Finished the zoo, got in the vehicle, went into the tea garden parking lot, and then the rain. And it poured, and you could see everyone running from the tea garden. Oh my god, so it's like no.
SPEAKER_02I could see also as the rain fell, so did your spirits. Oh, yeah. You thought, yeah, uh, I got this close to the tea garden. Yes, and it's not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01Like, can we can we get a break, please? Can we just get a little break?
SPEAKER_02And and it's the last full day.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because we're leaving the next day. And and so uh Peyton and I both pushed. We're like, you know, we're gonna go.
SPEAKER_00And it was free and it didn't last it went very long. I just wanted to see it and I'm glad I did. On the way home, that was again more of that stress because there's not a firm plan. We've got a driver who's separate from us. We knew we wanted we knew we weren't gonna drive all the way home. We were gonna stop. We were trying to find a lake or a recreational area where we could just have kind of a chilled afternoon evening and relax. And the the one area we went didn't quite work out. Uh, so I had found an area that I thought would work. And, you know, making it funny, I had said this the whole time, the area I had suggested.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, this was definitely a mom was right all along time. And I was like, why don't we just go to this area?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, if you've ever watched Will and Grace. But no, you know, I I don't know why anybody just really didn't listen to me. And and we just I didn't force it because one person thought they knew best and it ended up not being what everybody wanted. So on the way to the place that I suggested, uh we found a little random stop on the side of the road, and it was a recreational area, but we hiked, we had to hike through it. The girls were done, they're like, I'm not doing it. Yeah, they sat in the truck, but we hiked it and it's hot. I mean, admittedly, it's humid and it's hot, but we hiked through it. Sean and Cooper went with me, and we ended up at this natural spring waterfall area. There were dozens of people in the waterfall and hanging out.
SPEAKER_02Chalk rivers. Yeah, something like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, and we have several pictures of it. And you know, and I thought we'd go the next day. Well, oh, let's pack a picnic. We'll come the next day, we'll hang out in the water, it'll be fun. Nope. Didn't want to do that. But the girls never even saw it, so they didn't they didn't want to go anyway. Long story. We ended up at this beach area, and we say beach, it's in Texas. There was no sand, it was pebbles, but it was a it will it really was a very pretty recreational area. The lake was nice, it was beachy. We got at that point, we're so tired and hungry and done with the day. We get subway sandwiches, that's what's for dinner, and you and I sat under a shade tree on a blanket and had a picnic. And yes, we might have consumed some double stuffed Oreos because we had had enough that day. Yeah, and now it was fine. That was good. We were happy. That was a happy moment, like that's a memory that'll stick out. Sitting under the shade tree on our backs, the breeze is blowing, watching them play in the water and us eating subway and double stuffed Oreos.
SPEAKER_02Oh, those Oreos are so good. They were good. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Part of what we're talking about today is just making moments.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so I so this is what we wrap up. What what's your what's your takeaway for folks then?
SPEAKER_00I guess you know, I don't know. I'm I guess I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm still trying to process all of that. You know, it can't be perfectly planned. It's not going to be perfectly planned. You know, trying to be able to learn to go with the flow. I think this really is more geared for people who have older kids, not younger kids, because when you have younger kids, yeah, you're gonna have all these detours, but it's mom and dad who make all the decisions. You just make the decisions and the kids just roll with it because they don't have any choice or they don't know any better. But it's it's challenging when you've got three or or however many children you have that are older, that have opinions, that have experienced some some of life and have ideas about what they want and what they don't want. And so I think that you know, you and I are having to think really carefully about how we move forward with those experiences. I think for you and I it and I'm gonna speak more for me, not putting expectations on myself of what I think it has to be, um, of what I know what I want it to be.
SPEAKER_02That's the best thing you said, I think. No, but for your own good. That's the best thing you just said. It's like not putting those expectations to meet their needs and their wants and their desires. Not like that's an expectation you carry with you all the time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I want to do those things, but I know that I can't make them and and I can't manufacture a memory. Uh most times a memory is made when something happens that we never expected. But I I have learned in my life to really watch for those memories, like to watch those scenarios and just sit back and watch and just appreciate uh it's not being on a big ride at SeaWorld or you know, one of those big theme parks, which we didn't do. It's it's me really focusing in and studying on just these small, minute moments. It may be truly, it may be 10 minutes around the dinner table on vacation where they're all laughing and telling jokes and cracking up on each other and and or sharing stories, and I'm just sitting back and observing, you know, I'm always just observing and taking it in, trying to appreciate those small moments for whatever we have, you know, because you just don't know how many more of those that you have all together like that before someone moves away, someone's married, gets a new job. And so I really I think I'm more a little more sentimental in that way, but just really trying to um capture those moments in my mind, you know. Uh they they mean a lot to me, even if it's just them being in a creek watching them as the sun sets, you know. And so we're you and I are still figuring it out. I know for me it's more important and it's easier too now, it's more important than ever that we continue to take time away so that you and I are always connecting and that we're resting and we're recharging. You know, that's important for you and I, not only as a couple, but just knowing all the things that we have going on um in our life. So I have to say, we didn't even talk about this, but an added stressor, so you had weather and you had weather and you had weather, you had a lot of weather.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, the weather here in our hometown was affecting our vacation as well.
SPEAKER_02That's that seemed like so long ago now.
SPEAKER_00I know.
SPEAKER_02Even though it was like two weeks. It's only been a week since we got it fixed. Um Yeah, yeah, you know, this ongoing saga uh adventure that is the creamery. Um, you know, it's been stupid hot here in Louisiana, in northeast Louisiana. And um we have an air conditioning had an air conditioning unit, I'm happy to say, that was limping along, partly because it was underpowered and it was facing the wrong way. And and if you don't know, understand this, that's okay. You you don't need a lesson in it, other than to know that your air flows better when it doesn't have to turn. And this unit was had there was a 180 in the ductwork, and so we lost a lot of speed. Plus, it was a three-ton unit, and we needed a five-ton. So um basically it would get to 90 degrees, sometimes ninety-three in the dining area of the creamery.
SPEAKER_00And our ice cream coolers cannot keep it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, those ice cream coolers are designed to function in 75 to maybe 80 degree weather temperatures. And so our ice cream was getting kind of soupy, you know, and and uh it it was just it was going on for a couple weeks, and we're waiting on a friend of mine who's in the HVAC business um and and uh to get us a quote, and he was he's you know, it's the height of summer and he's super busy. Finally, we get a quote, we're like, let's do it. He orders the parts, and um after vacation, or while we're on vacation, we're making all these arrangements, and we're like, okay, if if you can do it, if everything comes in while we're on vacation, can you do it without us? He said, Absolutely. Well, the things didn't come in until uh late in the week, and so he did the work the Monday after we got back.
SPEAKER_00And but that but that Friday as we're trying to drive home and trying to figure out what lake we're going to, we're getting the hey, the ice cream is melting.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Oh, I forgot. Yeah, yeah. We we actually closed the business.
SPEAKER_00Yes, on two days early.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we closed at seven on Friday and Saturday, which is kind of a big deal. We don't normally do that. And then uh we were closed all day Monday while they did the uh upgrade and installation. And so um happy to say the ice cream's rock hard now. It's great, it's hard to scoop it out. Um, but yeah, that was an additional wrinkle. Like we were. It was a stressor. It was a stressor for you. I I think it uh not as much for me because I'm like I can't fix it. I I have a little bit more uh acceptance. I get to acceptance a little faster than you with some of this stuff. I know. I know you don't. That's okay.
SPEAKER_00I don't accept defeat. There is an answer.
SPEAKER_02Well, it's not defeat, it's just like um uh yeah, we're we're just not winning the day, but we're gonna win the war.
SPEAKER_00Okay. But it was stressful and but it's just compounded. It's like, why is everything having to happen while we're gone? Even the girls at the creamery love to joke, oh, what's gonna break when you leave, when you go out of town.
SPEAKER_02That's that joke's getting old. I like that joke to go away.
SPEAKER_00Me too, yeah. So, you know, that so it is hard to be good at vacation to try to get away from all the stressors anyway, and then throw in, oh yeah, it's the hottest part of the year, and we own an ice cream business. And it the the girls who work there were hot, the customers were hot, the ice cream's melting, it was just not a great combination of things. Now we encourage you to come by. It's cooler. We actually had some people say they were cold in there. So sorry. I hope you freezing. So sorry. And the ice cream's hard to scoop. Love it.
SPEAKER_02It's beautiful.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so you know, uh, we would love to hear about your vacation, uh, your vacation plans and what what are your experiences in that, you know, what has that meant for you, for those of you who are listening? And Sean, what what are your takeaways from this?
SPEAKER_02Uh I I think, yeah, for me, you know, you you hinted on it towards the end there what you were saying. Um I I was even though I pushed you months ago to go without the kids, uh, the realization that and it was said, I think one of the kids said it, oh, this may be our last vacation to go.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they were joking when they said it, but we were like cutting eyes, like Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I have to say, on reflection, that bothered me more than I thought it would.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Now I may regret this next summer. But but in my hindsight, in my feelings right now, I'm like, I don't want it to be the last vacation that we go on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this I'm glad you're saying it, because you're usually the one, nope, never mind, nope, we're not taking it.
SPEAKER_02I'm ready to cut I'm ready to break the plate and move on. That's right.
SPEAKER_00What were you uh dreaming and scheming about on our way home? Tell I don't know if we're gonna do it.
SPEAKER_02Oh, the road trip to the Grand Canyon? Yes. Yeah, rent an RV and drive over there. Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_00I don't imagine that being stressful at all.
SPEAKER_02Well, I yeah, we were talking about that, and then you know, we're getting the attitudes, and I'm thinking, that's dumb. Why would we lock ourselves in a vehicle for, you know, a few thousand miles? That's just dumb. So I that's one of my takeaways, is like I don't know that I'm ready. Like there's an emotion I I f I feel about it more than I thought I would.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02And I normally don't get all sentimental like that.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's fair.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so that's that's a big takeaway.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then and then the other one is y'all, y'all need to chill out. And I'm I'm throwing you in that button. No, okay. Not nearly as much as them. No, you you with the expectation piece. I'm so glad you said what you said.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Like you gotta lower your expectation. You cause because you can't you can't want it for them more than they want it for themselves, right? But they gotta chill out, man. Bring a book. Read a book. A book is a beautiful thing. We need more library time on vacation, okay? Bookstore. Bookstore time. More bookstore time. I'm so glad we did that. But like our you know, the all this constantly doing and going, it's for the birds.
SPEAKER_00Well, you've always said that they don't always prescribe to that. They don't prescribe to that.
SPEAKER_02I don't know that I did that when I was their age.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I'm old. So tired.
SPEAKER_00We're you've been doing you've been doing that for a few years, though.
SPEAKER_02I know.
SPEAKER_00But anyway, we're just we're just in a different place, and we're having to accept we're in a different place. Yeah, that's great. And so we've got to adjust accordingly. Yeah. But I do look forward to our next getaway, just you and I. Whenever that is, I look forward to that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So it's gonna be good.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because it'll be the two of us and we'll make an adventure of it.
SPEAKER_00We'll make an adventure, we'll do your bookstore time, whatever, whatever.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and we'll go for a walk. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02So anyway, we hope that you uh enjoyed listening just to recap our our the we put trying to put the phone in dysfunction, you know, and and we do like share with us if you're on socials or something, or if you know us, yeah. You probably thought of a crazy story while we were talking about the ones who melt down and crash out on their kids.
SPEAKER_00And or come back from vacation and say, it was okay.
SPEAKER_02It was okay. Yeah, did you have an okay vacation? Let us know.
SPEAKER_00It was okay. All right, well, whatever that vacation is, summer's about to end, even though it's still brutally hot. We hope you have enjoyed your summer or get that last trip last trip in before school starts. Here we're just a couple of weeks away, so that changes the dynamics for folks, getting ready to merge into all those fall school activities. So we hope you're making the most out of what you have left of summer. And as always, thank you for going along on the adventure with us.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's it's a blast, and uh this is you know, I love it as we get episode what, 52, you said, it's becoming um more fun, and we're grateful to hear how this is uh a blessing for you, and so thanks for telling us and sharing the adventure with us. Have a good one.