When God Goes Quiet: Surviving (and Growing Through) Your Wilderness Season with Marti Darcangelo and Jessica Deyoung

Wilderness seasons are real, and they are rarely fun — but they are never wasted. In this episode, Jan, Marti, and guest Jessica DeYoung pull back the curtain on what it actually looks like to walk through a spiritual wilderness: the silence, the confusion, the doubt, and yes, the breathtaking encounter with God on the other side.

Jessica shares vulnerably about a recent “teaching wilderness” where she did everything right — read her Bible, prayed, kept showing up — and still felt completely alone. Marti brings grounded wisdom about leaning into God’s attributes and choosing obedience over emotion. Jan anchors it all in the truth that Psalm 23 gives us: we walk *through* the valley, not *into* it forever.

If you’re in a dry season, a waiting season, or a season where God just feels far away — this one’s for you. And if you’re on the mountain right now? Listen anyway. Because Marti says it plainly: it might be coming.

Grab your journal, a cup of something warm, and settle in.

Provision & Dependence — God strips away comfortable resources so we learn to trust Him alone, one day at a time (Deuteronomy 8, Exodus 16, Philippians 4).

Transformation & Purpose — The wilderness is where character, patience, and maturity are formed. God is always doing a new thing in it (Isaiah 43, Hosea 2, Romans 5, James 1).

Guidance & Presence — From the pillar of fire to the valley of the shadow, God's presence leads and comforts in the darkest wilderness moments (Exodus 13, Psalm 23, Isaiah 41).

Testing & Overcoming — Even Jesus was led into the wilderness by the Spirit. It is a place of preparation, not punishment (Matthew 4, Isaiah 40, 1 Kings 19).

Eternal Perspective — Wilderness seasons are temporary and never wasted. They produce eternal fruit and teach us to cry out to God (2 Corinthians 4, Psalm 107).

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00:00 Intro — Welcome & Introducing Jessica DeYoung

02:30 What IS a Wilderness Season? (Jessica sets the foundation)

07:15 How God Meets Us in the Wilderness — Moses, the Israelites, and Us

11:00 Marti’s Definition: A Temporary Space of Active Transformation

15:45 The Things That Happen In the Wilderness — Death of Self-Reliance, Testing, Preparation

19:00 Jesus in the Wilderness — Why If He Went Through It, We Will Too

22:30 How the Enemy Works in the Wilderness — Scripture as Our Defense

27:00 When You Don’t Even Know You’re In One — Recognizing the Season

30:15 Marti’s Honest Confession: Doing It the Wrong Way vs. the Lord’s Way

34:00 Practical Tools: Leaning into Quiet, God’s Attributes, Philippians 4:8

37:30 Building Habits NOW So You’re Ready for the Next Wilderness

40:00 Jessica’s Recent Teaching Wilderness — A Vulnerable Personal Story

46:00 Community, Journaling & Memorial Stones

49:30 The Book of Habakkuk — A Wilderness Masterclass

53:00 Paul in Prison — 2 Timothy 4:16-18 (Marti reads aloud)

57:00 God Is Unteaching You to Reteach You — Paul’s Three Years in Galatians

60:00 Psalm 73:23-26 — He Holds You by Your Right Hand

63:30 Final Encouragements — Marti, Jessica & Jan

67:00 Outro — “Be Prepared. It Might Be Coming.”

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Transcript

Jan: Hey, friends, here we are just talking about Jesus. This is one of my let's Talk about it session, where we're just going to deep dive into a topic.

This time it's going to be about the wilderness. But first,

my co-host, Marti Darcangelo. Hello, Marti.

Marti: Hello, everybody.

Jan: And my guest, Jessica DeYoung, which you probably heard a couple of episodes back.

Jessica: Yeah.

Jan: Also, I just want to be sure, you know that Jessica has her own podcast as well. Tell us about that just a little bit.

Jessica: Yeah. Perspectives into Practice. This is a podcast for women,

and we just come and we talk about what God is doing in your life right now.

We start with a fun fact, dig into the topic, and then we end with a practical takeaway.

Jan: Awesome. So awesome. Well, we've had a few overlaps in guests, and that's been kind of fun, too.

Jessica: The best.

Jan: Yeah.

Yeah.

So everybody. I know everybody is in a wilderness season at some point in their lives at least once,

and we just want to talk about what that does, you know, like, why. Why do we get there? You know, comparing things to scripture and how did we get there and maybe what God's doing with us, what the purpose might be in there, where God meets us or forms us,

you know, and prepares us for something else in that time. So.

Yeah. Well, let's get started. Jessica, can you start us out?

Jessica: Yeah. You know, wilderness seasons, we. We, like you said, we often go through them throughout our lives. Sometimes we don't even know what the word is for them. I know that I have gone through those seasons where I don't even know what's going on until I slow down to think about it.

And then Lord's like, hey, by the way,

this what's happening? But it's. They're often viewed as places of hardship or confusion or waiting or just a spiritual dryness.

But what we can find out about in scripture, because I've done so much studying about this, is that in scripture, the wilderness is also where God meets people. Right. If you think of, you know, Moses in the wilderness, He's.

He's. He met them there. I mean, in the. The Israelites. I mean, you could go on and on about where God has met his people in these dry and barren lands, if you want.

He. He provides for them exactly what they need when they need. He teaches them what they need to know when they're in that. If we will listen and apply for that.

Right.

He refines us in them again, if we are allowing him to do these things. And through it all, through every season, that we Go to. He is always going to reveal himself to us again when we are looking for him.

If we go through the wilderness seasons and we just think that it's going to be all negative and it's all terrible and it's all dry and woe is me.

Well, you're going to go through with those vision goggles of everything is terrible. But if we can change our perspective, you know, I love talking about perspective. If we can change it and we can use it as worship instead of the.

The woe is me. So if we can use that time and get to know God's character, dive into the Bible and, and ask questions, Lord, what are you trying to teach me here?

What do I need to see? What do I need to share with others and then walk with him through it.

I'm telling you, it'll change your life when those wilderness seasons pop up. And I, I don't, I don't know about you ladies. Have you, have you gone through that and experienced those,

those times where you don't even know that you're in one,

Jan: and then,

bam,

haven't we all? I know Marty has part of it. You know, what comes to my mind is too, it's not a wilderness season is not just a day and not just a week.

It's a period of time,

right?

Yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. It is a,

it is a time that I feel like God brings us to these wilderness seasons so that he can bring us out of all of our busyness in the world and not as a punishment of, oh, you're doing too much.

So I'm going to take everything away,

but in a way that we could reevaluate what is going on in our life. We can reevaluate our relationship with him, our relationship with people around us,

our commitment to some of the things. Sometimes the wilderness season reveals in us that we do have too much on our plates. And God's like, I need you to, to pull back here to see that it can be done without saying yes to everything.

And that's hard. It steps on some toes,

but it is, it is just such a beautiful thing when he pulls us into those times.

Jan: Marty, what are your thoughts?

Marti: Well,

contrary to what the format might look like on yours and my podcast, Jan, we do do some prep work for these talks.

Sometimes it seems like it's off the cuff,

but when I knew that we were talking about wilderness today,

I started looking up a way to describe being in a spiritual wilderness.

Jessica: Yeah.

Marti: As if someone was a brand new Christian and didn't know what being in the wilderness was. And I. I typed up something that might help us throughout this podcast. And the next time we're in a wilderness season of our life.

What is being in the wilderness?

Well, the wilderness is a temporary space.

Temporary is what we had just discussed.

Jan: Yeah.

Marti: It's a temporary space of time for active transformation in which God allows us to grow.

And often in the spiritual wilderness,

we.

Things are happening.

And some things that might be happening to us is death of self reliance.

It can be a time of testing and purging.

And with that,

what Jessica just said is it can be a time of intense spiritual attack.

It could be a time of intense temptation.

It can also be a time of preparation. The Lord has a purpose for us.

He has gifts for us to use. He has a reason why we're alive.

And being in the wilderness could be preparing us to carry out that purpose in a very specific way.

And also, it's a time for us to lean in and trust that no matter what is going on or what is going on in our hearts, what is going on in our circumstances, what is going on in our world,

what is going on anywhere in our lives,

it is a tr. It is a time for us to trust the Lord's closeness.

Jan: Yeah.

Marti: Even though it might not feel like he's close in the wilderness. And most often it doesn't feel like he's close in a wilderness season.

Just leaning in and trusting that the Lord is close is a big factor in walking through the wilderness in a way that he would.

He would want us to walk through it.

Jan: Yeah.

And, you know, I think about the Holy Spirit drew Jesus into the wilderness, and that was a time where God was preparing him for things. And what was there,

you know, Satan needling him and telling him, you know, oh, well,

I can have all of this, or you can have all of this if you do this or what? You know, it's just all of that testing of him.

And for pity's sake, if Jesus went through that,

what do you think?

Jessica: I know,

I know. I think about that all the time. And. And it reminds me that God knew, like Jesus knew the scriptures in and out because he is the living, breathing.

So he was, you know, fully man and fully God on earth while Satan was tempting him. And every.

Every attempt that the enemy had to throw him off his guard, he came back with him,

at him with scripture, and he said, no, this is the scripture. This is the truth. Big T truth from my God. Right. And so the only way that we are to know what is the difference between God's voice and the enemy's voice is that we have to be reading our scriptures,

because reading our. Reading the Bible isn't just about knowing more information.

It's not just about. This is a really great book with really cool stories of people.

It is that, but it's also showing you God's character. It's showing you who he is and who he isn't. But also it's showing you and telling you exactly what you need to be doing throughout your entire life so that when the enemy does bring up these things because he.

He knows. He knows the Bible in and out, just like we do. He knows the Bible,

and he will. He will be so close to the truth and pour it out. Think about in the very beginning in Genesis with Adam and Eve,

God told them,

do not eat of this fruit or you will die. He's saying, like,

that's not. He's.

He twisting it. Okay. When the enemy came to him, he was twisting those words, and he's like, you're right. He didn't say, we will die. He said that you will know now the knowledge of good and evil.

Right.

So close.

But if we are in that woe is me state in the wilderness, and we aren't getting into our word and learning more about the Lord and hearing his voice through these things, and the enemy so quickly will come in and.

And tell you these things that sound just enough like truth to make you want to go that way,

which can lead you into sin if you continue that way, or if you know the. The Bible. Right. If you know God's word or if you know exactly where to go into it, even if you don't.

I mean, we do have Google nowadays, and we have amazing podcasts that we can come listen to and friends, I'm sure, and churches that will be happy to help you if you're going through this wilderness season and you don't have the answer to guide you to the truth.

And I will. I will always say, go back to the Bible.

Go back.

Jan: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Absolutely. I'm thinking about what.

Sometimes you're.

You're in that season, but it takes a while to recognize it.

Mm.

And at that point, it seems like you get sucked in a little bit more and a little bit more and,

you know, to it. To where maybe you're depressed and maybe you're not really out,

you know,

able to come to that place. So there's gotta be a transition. How do you think that transition comes to go between there? What are your thoughts, Marty?

Marti: Well,

I have been in wilderness seasons where I have chosen to do it the way that the Lord has.

And I have been in the wilderness season and succumbed to the temptation of this world and not done it the way that the Lord has really loved me into.

Jan: And how did that work out for you?

Marti: Right?

So spoiler alert. It never works out when you're not doing it the Lord's way, just so you guys know.

But I did write in my little notes, I said, in the wilderness, if I'm not careful, I can allow my own thinking and the enemy to take me back into past mistakes.

And in order to avoid that getting into the Lord's word specifically, I looked up second Timothy 4, 16, 18.

And concentrating on God's goodness is a way for me to get out of the past,

get out of that woe is me.

Oh dear.

Thinking and move on into the way that the Lord would have us and have me go through a season of wilderness.

Because I don't know about you guys, but being in the wilderness season,

it's not a fun season.

It's a season of growth, but it's not, you know, like you're at an amusement park or something.

Jessica: Right?

Marti: So I like to know what do I do in this time of uncomfortableness?

And I wrote down a couple of things that have really helped me.

Learning to accept that that space is where I'm at is very important.

Leaning into the quietness. Because when you're in the wilderness, it does feel like you can't hear anybody. You might not even be able to hear yourself. You might not be able to hear the Lord.

You might not be able to.

To hear the counsel of other people.

But leaning into the Lord's quietness is kind of an important factor for me. Just like, okay, this is the way it is. I have to lean in.

I also concentrate on God's stability and attributes.

So one thing that I love so much about serving our Lord is he is so full of mercy.

He's so full of grace,

he's so full of love.

And I can trust him in everything every season.

So that also helps me.

And the last thing that I thought, what really helps me get through wilderness season is an attitude of obedience and thankfulness.

I am a big proponent of reading Philippians 4. 8 all the time.

So if you guys know Philippians 4. 8 is like, well, concentrate on what's lovely and noble and worthy, and getting into the attributes of how the Lord wants me to think is very important.

Jan: Yeah.

Marti: What do you guys think?

Jan: Well, you know, I also think you get started in the wilderness and you get a little few steps in and, you know, maybe you're going off on the wrong path.

You know,

maybe you're going off on the wrong path. And that takes you a while to realize that that's where you are as well, you know, And I'm. It makes me think about what could

Jessica: we

Jan: in our daily habits established so that we are more ready when the wilderness comes to go, okay, one surrender and say, okay, I know this is you in here because you love me and you care about me, you know, And.

And to say, okay, where.

First of all, if I put myself in a position to be praising and honoring who God is in my life,

and then can come rest in that. And in the rest,

maybe you have the listening and the seeking from his Word. But if these are things that we do continually in our life habitually,

it's going to be a lot easier when you're in your next wilderness to be able to rely on those things that you do.

Jessica: Yeah,

well, I. I just recently went through a teaching wilderness, and I didn't know what it was in the beginning because I was doing everything that I knew that I was supposed to do.

I was reading the Word, I was talking to the Lord at all times. I was, you know, applying those lessons and teaching them and share. Like, I was doing everything right,

everything that I teach women through the ministry and on the podcast, everything right. So I'm like, I don't understand, Lord.

If I'm doing everything right, why do I need to go through this?

And also, where are you? Because it felt very dark in that time.

And it was. It was like God. It's like Christ's spirit just left me. It was. I felt empty and alone and dark.

And the Word, the Bible did not come alive to me anymore. I would read it and do the things that I was supposed to and talk to him and not hear back.

It was such a confusing time. But because I knew those things ahead of time, I continued to press in. I continued to read the Bible, even if it didn't speak to me.

I continued to talk to the Lord, even if I didn't hear from him.

And slowly but surely, it started to change my perspective. And it was through that wilderness season just recently that I was able to write about more of this. Because when I finally came out of that and Holy Spirit started talking to me again,

it was. It was like he was saying that this is what so many of his daughters go through, is this quietness, this. This depressive time. It feels like where they are alone and dark, and my spirit hasn't gone anywhere, but they feel like it has.

And a lot of times it's.

We assume that God has left us, but it says so many times in the Bible that he has not left us, nor will he forsake us. He is right there.

It's usually us that's gone off course, even if we are doing all of the right things. Because like I said, sin can so easily entangle you and pull you into things, and you don't even realize what you're doing isn't right until God's like, hey, by the way,

maybe check yourself.

And so staying connected to a Christian community,

a trusted Christian community, I mean, if you were going through this place and like you were saying, like, maybe you don't even want to reach out,

that is a feeling, and that is completely acceptable to have that. But I would pray that you have a Christian community that you can talk to.

Even just one trusted friend, or maybe one of us. You come reach out to one of us. If you're going through this, if you're listening right now,

and. And we will pray for you, and we can help encourage you in this. Because journaling,

because community is important. But journaling through this experience has helped me to be able to look back.

So it's kind of like I am.

I am my own community in that. But I definitely say, get outside yourself. But journaling has so helped because I'm writing down all of my thoughts so that when I.

When I'm out of that season, I can go back and look and I can see the answers that God did give me, even though I felt like he was so far away.

Jan: Yeah. It's memorial stones, right?

Jessica: Yes, it is. Yes. Holler out to Brenda.

Jan: Exactly. Well, I was thinking the same thing. You know, if you're journaling things, you can go. First of all, journaling for me helps me kind of work out my thoughts and whatever.

But to go back and read what you've written or see where things are helps, I think.

And definitely community,

you know, if you've got a small group or somebody and true. Just for one person, I don't know, I come to Marty and I say,

so I need to talk to somebody about this,

Marti: and vice versa.

Jan: Yeah. Just got my back, you know, and just. Just bits of wisdom, you know, to. To impart or just to be silent or just to give me a hug or whatever, you know.

Jessica: Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I. I love the. If you haven't read the book of Habakkuk Habakkuk however you say it, you

Jan: know that one, that one book with an H, with a.

Jessica: That one with like, extra K's. It's got a lot of K's, but it's. If you were to read it fully, it might take you, I don't know, 15 minutes. It's not a super long one.

But the whole book is him going through this wilderness season in his own life.

And he. And when he asks God, you know, hey, why are you doing these things to me? God doesn't answer him with,

hey, this is why I'm doing this. He's talking to him about other people.

But in, in all of that, it's such a. I, I love that book. If you've, if you haven't read it, go book, go read it. But it's such a beautiful example of how we should be in the wilderness because even through it all, Habakkuk was praising the Lord.

He was worshiping him. He's like, even if nothing,

if nothing grows, if water never flows through the, through the river, if, if, if you never talk to me again, if you don't bless me at all,

I will still praise you. And I feel like that is something that we need to remember in those wilderness seasons and out of the wilderness seasons when we are, when we are, you know, on the mountain or in the valley.

Remember and look for God's faithfulness in everything. And write it down.

Write it down so that you can remember it, so that you can remember what he has done. But go read a Habakkuk, maybe get a refresher if you haven't read it in a while, because it's a good one.

Jan: And even to remind yourself that you know the 23rd Psalm, it's, you're going through the wilderness.

It's the word through. It's not,

it's not like you are through. It means you are a pathway and there's going to be an end to it.

Jessica: Exactly. There's always. There's always an end. Yes.

Marti: I also am thinking while you guys are talking about how sometimes we go through the wilderness and it is not. It's not for a personal reason.

Jessica: Yeah.

Marti: Like, for instance, I believe that the apostle Paul,

at the end of his life, when he was in jail,

he was going through.

I mean, talk about a wilderness of wildernesses. He was in a jail cell.

He says in second Timothy that no one was coming to visit him. The only person that he had with him was Dr. Luke.

He said everybody else had deserted him.

And as he's going through that he's choosing to continue to teach Timothy. He's choosing to continue to trust in the Lord's faithfulness.

Jan: Yeah.

Marti: So I can read that scripture to you guys that I just remember that sometimes it's not about me,

sometimes it's God preparing me to minister to someone else or maybe even someone else's wilderness.

Jan: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, go ahead and read that.

Marti: Okay, so if we read 2 Timothy 4, 16 through 18,

Paul says, at my first defense, no one stood with me, but all forsook me.

And then he says, but the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, which is what we all need in the wilderness,

so that the message might be preached fully through me and that all the Gentiles might hear also. I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.

Wow.

Jessica: Yes.

Jan: Oh, and by the way.

Marti: Right. And Paul said,

and the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for his heavenly kingdom.

To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

So there's.

There's Paul literally being saved out of the jaws of a lion, saying,

I have a purpose. My purpose is to be glorifying the Lord in the heavenlies.

Keep going, Timothy. It's just a beautiful reference.

Jan: Isn't that. That just really,

as you're reading, it makes me think of church hurt people abandoning you and things. That's a whole other topic. But it just does make me, you know, as an aside, kind of think about that.

That that's what was happening with him.

Jessica: Yeah, absolutely. It was. Yeah.

Jan: Yeah.

Marti: And you know, the Lord took the apostle Paul through several wildernesses.

I think in Galatians, Paul mentioned a three year period where the Lord took him out of.

Out of the community.

It sounds like God had to teach him, unteach him things, help him to unlearn some things and then learn some different things so that when he went back into ministry, he was more effective and more people could see the validity of what God's purpose for Paul was.

So that can happen in the wilderness as well. God is unteaching you things,

but teaching you how to be more effective.

Jan: Yeah. Jessica, what are some scriptures that speak to you?

Jessica: Yeah, I was gonna read that last part in an Habakkuk. Habah.

Habakkuk in that H guy's name. He's a great name where he talks about this.

This is the last he prayed. He has lots of prayers in here. This is his last prayer. He says, I heard and I trembled within my lips quivered at the sound Rottenness entered my bones.

I trembled where I stood. Now I must lay quietly and wait for the day of distress to come against the people invading us.

I mean, that is if.

If that doesn't just tug on your heartstrings and feel so bad for him that he's. All of this terribleness is happening.

But he says, though the fig tree does not bud and though no fruit on the vines, though the olive crops fail and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will triumph in Yahweh. I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

Yahweh, my Lord is my strength. He makes me feel like those of a deer and enables me to walk on mountain heights. Which goes Back to Psalm 23, where he says,

I will guide you in all things.

And so I think the. The biggest thing to remember when you're in these wilderness seasons is know that God has not left you.

Stay persistent in your pursuit of him, in your prayers, in your conversations with others, and in your Bible, because there's something there that. That he wants us to learn, whether like.

Like Marty said, for us or for someone else. We just have to be willing to. To listen and worship him throughout it.

It's not always easy, but it's worth it, I think.

Jan: Yeah. Yeah. It's a matter of really not looking horizontally, but looking at that.

Marti: Amen.

Jessica: Yes.

Marti: Right.

Jan: Looking up.

Marti: There's a beautiful scripture in Psalm 73 that says.

It's Psalm 73. 23, 26, I think.

Nevertheless, I am continually with you.

You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with your counsel,

and afterward receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is none upon earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart will fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

So when you're hungry and thirsty and going through that wilderness and just knowing that He's.

He's our strength,

he's our heart, and he's our portion forever will sustain us.

Jan: Yeah, boy. And it's about God. About God, right? Yes. We are almost out of time. Marty, what do you want to leave with our listeners?

Marti: Oh, gosh. What do I want to leave with our listeners?

With our people,

our peoples.

Goodness.

I think I just would love to encourage people that wilderness is come and go throughout our whole life.

And grasping onto the Lord,

instead of grasping onto our emotions or our fears or the world or what our flesh wants, our temptations are,

is always,

you know, focusing on the Lord is always our winning factor. We can always get through the wilderness and get on the other side.

Well,

by concentrating on him.

Jan: Yeah. Amen, Jessica.

Jessica: Yeah,

I would. Just encouragement, I think we spend so much time.

So much time and energy trying to get out of a wilderness that sometimes we miss what God wants to do in. In it. And so I just encourage you to slow down.

To slow down striving and trying to do more, because it's not always that. It's. Sometimes it's just doing less, which is so much more when it's in his name. So that'd be my encouragement for you listening.

Yeah.

Jan: Yeah.

Well, ladies, thank you again for a wonderful conversation. I am sure this is gonna be touching on different people's hearts and minds and maybe just things to think about, you know,

get us prepared for the next round of.

Jessica: Yes. Thank you, Jesus.

Jan: Enjoy your time right now, because it might be coming.

Jessica: Yeah. Be prepared.

Jan: Be prepared. Right?

Jessica: Be prepared.

Jan: Right? Exactly. Thank you, Jessica. Thank you, Marty.

Marti: Thanks, guys.