Are you ready for it? See what magic we capture. Are you gonna go into a Taylor Swift? Maybe. Maybe I will go into a Taylor Swift, as you put it, a Taylor Swift montage. I will go into a Taylor Swift into. You know, I bet you Taylor Swift. Swift's. Swift. Swift's. See, I bet you she has to have some serious boundaries in place. Um, yes, 100%. We should not imagine being a celebrity of that stature and what you have to deal with on a daily basis. UN no. No, ma'am. Nope. No, ma'am. I do think we should put out the intention to have her on the podcast because, yeah, she doesn't do podcasts, and I think it would be great if we just had her on and didn't do any social kept it like on the DL. Yeah, that'd be some really fun magic. And then we could become real friends with her because we are real people and we're super trustworthy and authentic. And she'd be like, fuck yeah, you guys, you guys are great. And then our girls would find out and then it would all just go to shit. Would yeah, it would blow up. So Charlie and I played this game yesterday, which I feel like we've skirted on this topic before where it was like, if you could spend a day with like a celebrity or anybody in the world. Who would your top three be? Um, I love these games. I love these games because you're unintentionally intentionally manifesting and creating and putting out your truest desires without any sort of shame associated with it. Right? Right. So he was going through his. And his first one is obviously Jack black. Ah, love me some. Jack black number two was Bert Kreischer. Are they all comedians kind of or creatives I guess. Yeah. Well this spurred who was this third. He was going back and forth on if it was Rogan or who else was it. It was somebody else. They didn't throw a vagina in there. Nope. No vagina. So it spurred the conversation that he then had a dream that I was doing a podcast with Leanne, like we were just talking and having a podcast. Bert's wife. Sorry. Oh, I was like, Who's Leanne? And are you replacing me? No, I don't even know this bitch. Okay. This is amazing. Okay, okay. And I guess we were having some, like, very deep conversation. Yes. In his dream. And him and Bert were, like, hanging out and watching us and drinking and whatever. I feel like that's just a premonition, right? Yeah. That's why I was like, this is kind of crazy. But then I said, when we were talking about this, I said, Melissa McCarthy, I love Melissa McCarthy. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think she would be fabulous to spend a day with. Yes. I just love her energy. Yes. I was like, oh man, it would be so cool for her to be on our podcast also. Yes, please. Melissa McCarthy, if you're hearing this right now, how would we edit that the fuck down? We wouldn't we would just roll for hours. That podcast would be eight hours. You know what? You just sit back and relax and enjoy the ride. Yeah. Oh, man, that would be so magical. I can't even imagine spending a day with her. No, no. In podcasting with her? Yeah. No. Not yet. I mean, we are now imagining it. I know. Well, you know, the repeat dream that I've had, I haven't had it for. Is this Mark Cuban again? No no, no. That came through. Is it Cuban? It's just Cuban. I don't know why you call them Cubano. Cubano. Mark Cuban woman. You know what's wild about that? So that was a download I got during a meditation where it was like, you need to somehow connect with Mark Cuban. He is going to help you. And I was like, the wrong transmission. Mark Cuban, you need to connect with Mark Cuban Cubano. So you know what's crazy? Ask your phone. How do I get in touch with Mark Cuban? Okay. Hey, Siri, how do I get in touch with Mark Cuban? She's not going to answer because I said the wrong name. I don't know if that's really is number or not, but it was like, that's the phone number to the Dallas Mavericks. Can you imagine calling that and just saying, can I please talk? I'd like to talk to Mark Cuban. No. Uh, so I received a message from my angels, and I'm going to need to talk to him immediately. Yes, I have an idea that I haven't quite figured out, but apparently he is a part of the solution. but he would not be my top three. The repeat dream that I always had was that I am best friends with Adele. Oh that's right. Yeah, well, you can invite her to every concert. Yes. Yeah. There we go. Yeah. Anyone asked me yesterday, she's like, would you like to see Adele in concert? I was like. Of course I would. Of course. What kind of question is that? But also this weekend we were talking about how crazy expensive it is to see live music anymore. It's really disheartening. And it's not because you don't want to pay the artist like fucking pay the artist, right? Like 100%. They put on an incredible show, but it's all the other bullshit that gets wrapped up into these ticket sales that I'm just like, it's the cost that these venues. Yes, the cost of the venues and everything attached to it. Yeah. That's why, you know what? It's going to start just going back to being at farms because farmers, they don't give a shit. They're like, whatever, have a concert. Let's go. I have like one of my favorite teas. I actually got it in Nashville at Imogene and Willie's. It's a support live music, higher live musicians. Because, I mean, think about it. It's more obviously, it's more expensive to hire a live musician or see a live musician, but all the time that goes into the craft, I don't know. I think everybody needs to be paid, needs to make a good living wage, but something in the integrity of it all is jacked. Something is jacked. I don't know exactly what it is because I'm not in that space. But something has changed. Like, I don't know, I just think paying hundreds and hundreds of dollars to see an artist perform for 2 or 3 hours is a lot of money. That's a lot of money for one singular person, right? Right. Anyways, that has nothing to do with boundaries. I guess it does. I have boundaries about paying fucking ridiculous prices to go see live music. I have a hard, hard financial boundary there. Yeah, we should welcome everybody. You know we should. Yeah. I think all of this plays really well into look I'm like Rachel. Yes Kristen. All this plays so well into what we're talking about today, which are boundaries building boundaries. Yeah. So welcome friends. Yes. Welcome to two mystic mamas. So Kristen is in a different position than we normally are in during our recording sessions. Little bit she was injured injured bad between her and Jeff. Jeff was also injured. I had a rough weekend. They were not injured together, but they were injured in different ways. Oh, remember that one time that that, uh, Jeff ripped his calf and Kristin ruptured her spleen at the same time? Jesus. Only one can put together the pieces of that story. We'll just let that lie. Yeah. Come up with your own stories of what happened, what actually took place. But anyways, Kristen is in a more horizontal position in a reclined position for this particular podcast. I told Kristen that I would be her therapist and ask her questions, and she could lay on the couch with the microphone. All right, so we are talking about boundaries, building boundaries, establishing boundaries. What are boundaries? Why are they important? Yep. Different types of boundaries. Right. And how they protect our energy, our well-being, our emotions. Breaking boundaries I think also we could talk about the signs of having weak boundaries. Yes, 100%. When I think about boundaries and establishing boundaries and what the definition of boundaries are for me, I would really have to say it wasn't. It was only within the last ten years that I even conceptually. Knew how to really do it with finesse isn't the right word, but to establish them, stick to them, honor them. And even in the last, well, especially in the last year, redefining what that looks like for different people in my life, I agree 100%. It's been within the last decade. Yeah, I feel like growing up as a kid and as a teenager and then as a young adult and into my 20s, no fucking idea. I had no clue. Not a clue. Nothing. No. And I had, um, a close friend of mine who started going through a divorce shortly after I was going through mine. They kind of coincided with each other a little bit, and she really was like an integral part of me starting to learn about boundaries, because she was reading a book about boundaries and really learning how to protect herself. Mhm. Yeah. It just became this thing that I was like, this is something I need to work on. Mhm. And I think there's a couple of signs if you are feeling a lot of overwhelm, resentment, always feel like you're being taken advantage of. Like these could be signs that you have some weak boundaries. Boundaries exist. With other humans. We should we should like we should back this up to like the definition of it can be more than just humans, but they do exist mostly, right? You can have boundaries with places too, if especially if you have experienced trauma, or if it brings up feelings of discontent, uncomfortableness, like that sort of thing, then definitely boundaries exist, right? So boundaries are just what you're thinking. They are right. If you put something in a box and it now has four sides atop a bottom, like you're basically encompassing yourself in a protective bubble. And now that I'm in this super spiritual space, I also protect my energy every day and protect my boundaries from people, places, and things that I don't even know are going to come into the picture exactly at the beginning of the day, which is not a practice that I have done for a very long period of time. But I really started establishing boundaries within relationships with people. Like I mentioned in the last like ten years, it has brought about so much growth, but it hasn't come without struggle. And a lot of inner communication work that I have done on myself. Because when you establish a boundary, you don't necessarily have to communicate it to the other person. It is a good idea to do that if it comes up, but sometimes it can be really not well received. This can be such a great opportunity to have uncomfortable conversations with people that are really important. To honor that power within yourself, you can just use a couple examples. I had to establish some boundaries at my workplace. And this is going back early in my career. I worked with a woman that was super condescending and super passive aggressive. Two things that I really, really struggle with because I am just of the mindset that there is grace in communicating and there are ways of bringing forth information, especially if you're growing and you're young and you don't have a lot of experience and there's somebody that does, but how you deliver that information is really important. And she was not good at delivering that information. If anything, it just it would put me in such a bad place and then I would not be effective at work. And so I was communicating this with my boss. Interesting aspect. My boss and this particular person were good friends, right. So I feel like I know where this is going. My boss, instead of her taking responsibility for her leadership and having a conversation with this other person, she told me I had to do it. I had to have this conversation with this person, and I was like, ah, I'm not comfortable doing that. And she was like, right, but you're the one who has the issue. So I remember setting up a meeting with her, going in and basically saying, I don't really know how to do this, but I find you super condescending and super passive aggressive. And I had examples. She was like, well, I really respect that you are taking the time to talk to me about this. And it was immediately clicked that they had already had a conversation about this, that this was going to happen. Right. So then I was like, cuckoo, so we're done here, right? We ended it. I mean, it was more than that. But like we ended that conversation. I remember walking away being like, well, I shared my piece, but now what? Now how do I how do I move forward? I don't even know. Um, but I never felt like I had to go back and retract anything. And I never said, I'm sorry. And then led with that. I was just like, this is how I feel. And these are my examples, right? Well, I think most of the time when we start doing work with boundaries, the catalyst is another person. That being said, I think when we are really trying to decipher what those boundaries look like for us and what's important to us is you have to look at what do you want to protect and preserve? Yes. That in your life and and how does setting boundaries support that? Right. So for me, I know that protecting my piece is huge. That is a big boundary that I have with anything, right? It can be people. It can be choices. But protecting my piece. Yeah. PMP yeah. PMP. Yeah. You know me. Yep. Well, protect my piece. Right. And I will not engage in any sort of conversation. That or not even I shouldn't say conversation. I'm not going to engage in activities that are going to lead me away from my piece. Mhm. I love that because fuck that. No. And we were just talking about that too. Like about how when schedules get really busy and there's just so much going on that when you get downtime that is 100% what it is. You nailed it right on the head. It's protecting my peace. I need downtime, I need rest, I need space for myself. And that is 100% protecting my piece. Okay, so. Other types of boundaries. You can have emotional boundaries. Energetic boundaries? Yep. Physical boundaries. Sexual boundaries. Yep. That was another one. Never even came into the picture. Right? Because it wasn't discussed with us. No no no. Nobody translated that knowledge. Nope. Yeah. You know, now I think that I just have trauma from not having fucking sexual boundaries that I am working through. Right. And healing and forgiving to say that most women are age, have some sort of trauma associated with sexual boundaries. Fuck yeah. I mean, that's a whole nother podcast where we and that might be a that could be either side of it. Right? Like either side of that coin for sure. Right. Like it doesn't have to necessarily mean that you were like sexually making choices that you regret or whatever. It could be the opposite where you were controlled sexually or terrified of sex. Mhm, mhm. Well, it's the most vulnerable place that we will find ourselves in as a human. Right. Well and it's an energy, it's an energy exchange. Totally. It's not just physical, it's so much more than that. But again that's where intimacy comes into. And I didn't know true intimacy until I was in my late 20s. Right, right. And oh, God. You know, I always see those things. Like, what would you say to your young version of yourself? Uh, it would be not safe for her. Well, not safe for that age. Holy moly. There's lots of boundaries that we can that we partake in, but I think some of the best ones are also the ones where we. Just like you said, Kristen, protecting your peace, honoring yourself. I think for me personally, I have had friendships. Again, this is not something that's talked about openly that like not every single friendship or every single person you meet and you form a friendship with. Is expected to last your entire lifetime. Correct. There are really healthy instances where it is important to end friendships, especially if after you've been around these people you leave, they're feeling less than and you feel like something's just not it's not there anymore. That that Zazu has has departed. Even if if something like that hasn't happened, I think this year. Not that I want to get into politics at all on this podcast. There is so much talk of it right now, um, that I know that I struggle with spending time with people that can't have a conversation with me, that does not involve them expressing their opinions on what's happening in the political climate right now, regardless of of what your thoughts are. Totally. I need to be able to have a connection with you where I'm not. And this is not like, hey, you and I have entered a conversation where we want to discuss this, right? This is like, man, every time I see this person, they have to let me know their opinion. Yes. And man that's exhausting. Yes. So like for me I'm like, okay, well I'm I'm not going to have contact. I'm not going to have a phone call. Yes. I'm not going to have see you in person. Yes. Because I can't just talk to you about our lives without you wrapping it in. It made me think of another area where I have done so much growth in, which is unsolicited advice. I used to be the giver of unsolicited advice without even remotely knowing I was fucking doing it. Same. Oh, we're talking about this conversation. Let me tell you what you need to know about it. Right? And then somebody brought it to my attention that like, hey, I didn't ask for you to tell me any of this. And I was like, yeah, but. And I was like, no. Yeah, no, you're right, you didn't. Now, with certain friends, I still am. Just like I give it and I receive it, right? But with new people that I'm just meeting, I always ask if they're in a position to receive or if they just want me to listen. I don't quite that's the best thing I've ever seen as well. Yeah, I don't quite form it like that, but I am very cautious of or I'll say, can I offer you some advice or like my opinion of it? Well, and as empaths and something we talked about in the last episode, people will often divulge to us all sorts of things that are going on in their lives. And so for people that are in my life that call me and they're like, this is going on, and I feel like this happens to me a lot, right? I've started using the phrase, do you need support right now or are you looking for a solution? Um, I had seen a friend of mine about a month ago, and she kind of was just spilling all about all the things that were going on and venting. I said that and she was like, wow, I really appreciate you asking me that. Totally. Because think about it. If you're in a mental state where you really just need to vent and get it out of your body into the universe and get it just out of your physical self, it feels so good when someone just validates that and and is there and is like, I'm so sorry. You're you're walking through this and you're going through this. This is really tough. Instead of just diverting into, well, do you know what you're doing wrong or you know, not do you know what you're doing wrong? But necessarily that but just offering your $0.02 when they're not going to be in a place to hear it and absorb it. Right. Like how many of us are in a place of pain? I didn't realize that even a few years ago. No, I didn't either. I mean, and I think also having children has helped me with that too, because as parents, we always want to fix what is wrong and sometimes it just needs to fix itself or they need to fix it. You know, we need to be there as a support person. And just like because like Graham was telling me, he's playing tackle football for those out there, my son is eight and he weighs £59. So he is such a little kid. He's he's three feet and he's £59. So like he's just a tiny guy and he always has been. But that's not a deterrent for him right now. He went to school in his football jersey on Friday for showing support for the varsity team, and there was another little boy that was like, you're too small to play football. And he kept telling Graham this, right. So Graham comes home and he's like, so-and-so said this to me. I was like, well, tell me how you feel about it. And he's like, well, I don't think I'm too small to play football. And I was like. There you go. And I said, Graham, I said, when people say stuff like that to you, one of two things. One, just thank them. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion about me playing something, you know, and this is like, kindly fuck off. This is much bigger. Would you like some of this vodka my mother sent me to school with? Let me douse you down. I'm just not sure your energy here look like I just listened to that episode and I was like, that was so funny. I still stand behind that. I know you do. And I appreciate that so much about you. And I don't remember what else I told Graham to say. Probably, like you can also tell this kid to shut the fuck up. Well, I think the overarching message is that of support. And I think that that's not only in what we're telling our kids or our friends or family members, but also in how we're modeling that and how we're showing up. And so for me, a supportive boundary that I'm working on is keeping promises to myself that is so Challenging it is. It's been my main focus of all of my meditative work and personal growth work for the, I would say for the summer, the last half of the summer. It is fucking hard. It is so hard and so important and especially as we age. I think that for me it's, you know, it's been a lot about taking that power back, also showing up for my kids, but not necessarily always putting myself at the bottom of the barrel every single day, which you and I have talked about. Charlie and Eve do such a great job of honoring that too. And you and I love my life. I love the roles that Jeff and I play. I very rarely, sometimes we get caught up in, I feel like I'm doing everything and we will have that discussion and I try to have it not when I'm emotionally charged by the act of, and he does such a good job of then honoring that in me, because he he does appreciate and he does know that I do a lot. Yeah. I mean, you guys make such a great team. Well thank you. I mean, I see it. Yeah, I value him so much because he definitely shows up in other ways and that's the ebb and flow. I think it was Brené Brown that was like, a marriage is never fucking 5050. It never will be 5050, right? Right. Sometimes it's 2080, sometimes it's 6040. And I was like, that is so true because you show up in different ways to support what everyone's doing. And that, I think, is establishing a really good set of life skills and just honing in on that well. And boundaries are an important part of that. Right? Because if you're communicating to your partner, hey, this is what I can and cannot hold right now, and you set some boundaries. Yes. For me, we had kind of gotten into this was a couple years ago now, a space where I felt like I didn't have time for my own practice, and I communicated that to my family, and I was like, I need this time to light a candle and meditate and do my tarot readings and everything in the morning, even amidst getting lunches and breakfasts and making sure we have all the instruments and getting out the door totally because I was able to set a boundary and communicate that to my family. They have been so supportive in that and understanding, and then also seeing that it makes a huge difference in how I'm showing up for them once I've had that time. And it's not like I'm taking an hour. But even if you did take it, even if I did write for me, it's like, oh, I have this set aside, I can do this. And it makes me feel good. And now I'm keeping a promise to myself because my personal growth goals are being met every day. Yes, yes, I love that. If you are struggling with meeting personal goals, which eh, you need personal goals. So if you do nothing else after this, set up three personal goals for yourself. Areas that you want to improve upon mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, whatever that looks like for you. Career, any of it. Yeah. Health. I mean, you can break it into like so many different categories and then put it somewhere where you're going to look at it every day. So either like a really good place is in the bathroom if you have a mirror or where you do your makeup, or for me, I also put them on the side of my dresser because my dresser is right next to my bed. So when I like wake up, I'm a side sleeper. So when I wake up, I usually look right there and for me they're just phrases from the angels. And do that and then you can establish, you can start to establish boundaries. So another big area of boundaries that I want to touch on, because I think it's one that is so vitally important. And I would venture to say the majority of people have struggled with this is setting boundaries within family dynamics. Oh boy. I'm just gonna back away slowly. How many of us have been in a position either with our parents or with other relatives that are like. But it's family. Uh, God, I hate that. I hate so much the perpetuation of toxic relationships just because, quote unquote family. Yes. God, fuck off with it. I. Yes. Right. You have struck a nerve. Yep. But I think it's so it still needs to be really talked about. Right. And if you are one of those people that is being gaslighted by your family, you have boundaries that you have established in your brain, but they are still not able to conceptually get it. I just want to point out that there is this thing that exists. It's called EQ, it's emotional intelligence, and not everybody has it. If you have family members that don't fucking get it, lay your piece down with that and move the fuck on. That is not your job to have them wrap their heads around the boundaries that you've established for yourself, right? Because they're for you. Yep. And this is not like setting boundaries for yourself is not meant to punish other people. Nope. They are there to preserve your self-care and your self growth. They're there to protect. Can you imagine if you. It's going to be terrible. Um, if you had someone show up at your house. Sorry. I'm just going to call out the Jehovah's Witnesses for a second. Oh, sorry. I mean, they're the. No. Yeah, they're the ones who do it. No, they're the only ones that show up at my house. If they showed up every day and they were like, ding ding ding! Knock knock knock. And you're like, no, not today. Okay. And then the next day they come back. Mhm. Knock knock knock. And this continues on. This is literally what it's like to try and establish boundaries with family members. Yes. Because as soon as you think you have a boundary set up they just come out and rip that Band-Aid right off. Uh. We should. Do you want to tell some stories? You want to give some examples? I think I just said, I think the House has witnessed this, but I mean real examples, not metaphors. No, I'm not going to go into too deep of detail like on a personal way about this, just because there's a lot of stuff I'm currently still healing from there. See what? See what we just did there? Guys, I set a boundary. Yeah. You guys, you're watching it happen in real time. Well, listen, I appreciate you're asking me for some, like, real life examples, and I know that I have many that I could share with you, but I also know that my own process and growth right now. It doesn't serve for me to share them. No. You have to lay down your piece. Right? Yeah, exactly. Because guess what? Me sharing those stories will ultimately not preserve my peace. Nope. Mhm mhm mhm mhm. But there will be a time in my life where stories are shared and I'm hoping. Are you okay. Yeah. I'm just doing a little bit. I'm hoping at that time that they really do help somebody else. Because that would be the only reason that I would share them totally. And I think that's where I find real life situational stories can be of such value add because how many, how many times have we walk through something where we're immediately like, well, no one else is going to fucking understand this. No one else has ever walked this path. No one else is going to know how I feel, because I'm uniquely this way and this situation is uniquely this way. And then you open up to somebody and they're like, oh my gosh, this the same thing happened to this friend. And you know, I know about this other thing. And then I had something similar happen. And then you're like, oh, and there's that sense of community and that sense of camaraderie where it's like, I don't have to walk this path by myself because other people have done it. We can now talk about how we energetically are always in a place where we can absorb or repel other people's energy. And this is if you're going somewhere, right? You're in the grocery store, or maybe you're in a crowded place. It can be the social media. Yeah, I think energetic boundaries. This would be my new my newest established boundary area. And I love it. And when I don't do it, I know I didn't do it like it immediately. I'm like, oh. But the good thing is you can always, in the moment, establish spiritual boundaries, like energetic boundaries. Like you can immediately put that that bubble of protection around you. And well, we can talk about like how we both individually do it because I guarantee we'll have different practices. For me, I call on and invoke divine Source energy, the band of archangels, especially Archangel Michael, my spirit guides and my guardian angels. And I never forget to include the indigenous people of wherever I am. I always honor and respect that energy that exists. And I just ask very clearly, please protect my space. Please protect me. Archangel Michael has known he has a blue dome of protective light, so I just envision that protective light going around my body in all ways east, south, west, north, above and below me. And I just ask that no one, no entity, no place, no thing, no person is allowed to put a straw into my energetic field and basically suck out of it. Also in that same vein, I am not allowed to absorb any energy that is not mine to absorb for my greatest and highest good. And so it is. Yeah, part of that is to we are going to attract what we allow in. So if we allow certain negative things, then we're going to continue to attract those because we're allowing them in our our energy field. I think the visualization is great. That's a big part of what I do as well. And I do have a different protection, I would say incantations and practices depending on where I'm at, what I feel like I'm protecting against. If I'm at home, I'm obviously doing a lot with palo santo and crystals and doing a full meditation. If I'm out and about. It's usually involving like a breathing exercise and a visualization that also is like routes into the Earth, you know, opening up the crown chakra and connecting to the universe, talking to my spirit guides, really visualizing that protective energy field around me. One thing I do want to incorporate that I don't do now, and maybe you can hook me up with this. Is I want to get palo santo oil, to have a rollerball, to just keep with me wherever I'm at, because I think that I would be able to, like, enchant that take it with me, and literally just energetically cleaned myself. Well, I have, I have it, I have the power, I have, I have the oil. And by the power of Grayskull. Anyways, let's wrap it back. Wrapping it up. The power of intention is so important when it comes to boundaries, and whether that's how you are setting them, how you're communicating them, or how you're enforcing them. I would just invite you to get super clear about what are you trying to protect and preserve in your life, and why is it important to you? Because if you know those things is going to be so much easier for you to effectively set, communicate, and enforce your boundaries. Yes. Yeah. And if you have red flags that are coming up in friendships and relationships, whether they're platonic or they're romantic at the workplace, any place that you exist, if you feel that you need to have some boundaries, then you do. Now they can like to Kristen's point, they can be formally, firmly enforced or lightly enforced. You can sometimes communicate them non-verbally or to have them be super effective, you do communicate them directly from a place of love with compassion. Always would be my go to. Um, but, you know, at the at the end of the day, too, if you need to just, like, fucking end something in an establish a hard boundary, I want you to feel empowered to do that, too. Like if you if you know that it is not serving you, it has to end. There's no point in dilly dallying on it. I would invite you to take some time to reflect right on that. Like, why am I setting this boundary? How has it not worked up until now? And and what do I need to do moving forward? And that can be both in like a journaling way and also in like a mystical way, and, you know, having sacred space for yourself and having good spiritual hygiene, like, I'm a big shower and bath cleansing person and this is like rude. There's a lot of this rooted in pagan ritual for me, where most of what I do energetically involves like a shower or a bath before and or after whatever I'm doing. So this is all about empowerment. It is. Yeah. And Kristen and I are different signs. So naturally I would say part of some of my makeup as a as a Scorpio Libra cusp can also I don't deal well when people fuck with my boundaries typically. Right. I am fine for. A long, long time into until I'm not. And then. Then the time comes and I'm like, okay, it's it's now time to protect my peace. I usually make a commitment to it and then I just am like, like a bullet train. Well, the twins are they're always playing like, you know, angel devil on my shoulder. And I was like, constantly the Gemini twins. Yes. And I'm constantly I mean, this is great in terms of my intuition and, you know, and my gifts, but the ability to see all sides of something sometimes is to my own detriment. And for a long time, I thought that I had to be a doormat in order to not be a bitch. Mhm, mhm. And that because it's all I like growing up as I was you know getting older, I just didn't want to be that woman. I didn't want to be hard, I didn't want to be nasty or catty or selfish. And I thought that I had to allow people to walk all over me in order to not be that witch. And you don't know you. You really don't. And you also don't need to be a bitch to establish boundaries, though that can also be super effective. If you are, I mean. I mean, it can be good to know. It can be circumstantial, but there have been there have been times where I have I have established really strong boundaries and felt very empowered afterwards. And I wasn't necessarily a bitch about it, but I wasn't not a bitch. You were bitch adjacent. Yeah, like, I don't know what that is, but I was somewhere in that vein of. Yeah, you're not gonna. This is. No, sorry. This isn't serving me anymore. Right. Well, I really hope that this helps you. If you have been struggling with boundaries or if you're just hearing for boundaries about boundaries for the first time, or you are a seasoned boundary setter. Um, we can all use a little refresh because, man, if you haven't, if you haven't been setting them since like day one, it's hard. You have to continually go back. This is not like a one and done thing similar to like cord cutting or energy protection. It's something you have to keep up on. Yep. And again, if you have people in your life that are not emotionally intelligent, be prepared to water that fucking seed because the backlash is coming. Yeah, it's going to take a little bit of time, but it is it is well worth it. And it will make it easier because as they put up more of a. For a defense about it. Like you can just. It's just like, oh, you're making this so easy for me, right? I mean, the, you know, if you have somebody though, that you're dealing with that has a personality disorder, um, or is like a true narcissist or a sociopath, you know, this those boundaries sometimes will never, ever be good enough. Well, boundaries can also be just not a relationship like just ending. That is the boundary. Exactly. Because, you know, it really does depend on on who you're dealing with or what you're dealing with. And I have a friend who has spent probably the last 3 to 5 years establishing boundaries with her family and has done a remarkable job of it, and they now have a much better relationship because of it. Um, not all people are going to be as receptive to that, though, right? And they're going to even in that situation, they still continually test, you know. Yeah. I mean, there's different levels of boundaries and different severities and right, and growth. Right. And the other thing I would just tangent on to that and then we can end this, but is. Timing and just the amount of time. Like once you establish boundaries, it's not an immediate thing. Um, typically sometimes it can be. Usually if it is an immediate thing, you've just ended whatever it was. But if you want to see, um, growth and maturity happen and you want to see the relationship still flourish, then it will take a little bit of time for everybody involved to just, uh, respect and hear, uh, follow that change, absorb that change, and also be prepared for them to come to you with feedback on what their boundaries are, because this could be a very reciprocal relationship, which is a beautiful thing, um, because you will inevitably change people for the better by establishing boundaries. Right? And, you know, you have to get to know somebody else, and they have to get to know you all over again as people that have these boundaries. Yeah. And that's healthy and it's okay. Boundaries be cool. Not meant to stay the same. No boundaries be cool. Boundaries be cool. Yeah. Be cool. Bitch. That's right. We love you guys. We do. Thanks for being in. Thanks for being in. Thanks for tuning in, Taylor Swift. Isn't that where we started? That's where we started. Thanks for being here and tuning in. And as we do at the end of every episode, please, please, in this world of weird technology, share this podcast with three people that you love and adore or or three strangers that you don't know. But you're like, dude, I feel like your energy needs his podcast. Yeah, no, go share this with three people and need some fucking boundaries. Yeah, they said it best on this podcast I like you, I love you. Please. Sets boundaries. All right, bye bye. Over and out.