Effortlessly Productive

Navigating Change: Empowering Yourself Through Life's Setbacks

Annie Veblen McCarty Episode 22

Could you gracefully navigate the unexpected twists of life and business? In this heartfelt episode, join me, Annie Veblen-McCarty, as I draw from over two decades of entrepreneurial experience to share invaluable insights on embracing change. From processing emotions and distinguishing between fact and fiction in our internal narratives, to identifying what we can control, this episode offers a comforting guide for those moments when life doesn't go according to plan. Together, we'll explore how to regain power amidst change and use tools like reflective questioning and journaling to find clarity and emotional strength.

When faced with challenges that seem insurmountable, nurturing our resilience becomes essential. Here, we discuss the art of self-care without the pressure to fix everything and the importance of accepting life's unpredictability with grace. Through personal stories and practical strategies, I aim to empower you to embrace the notion of being okay with not being okay. Whether you're dealing with unexpected setbacks in business or personal life, find solace in knowing you’re not alone. As you listen, discover encouragement, support, and a framework to navigate these disruptions with self-kindness and hope for the future.

Speaker 1:

Hey, this is Annie Veblen-McCarty and I'm gonna teach you how to be effortlessly productive. I've been an entrepreneur for over 20 years and I got sick and tired of experts preaching what business and life should look like and what I should be doing as a leader and to turn a profit, only to find myself wasting time, burned out, feeling inauthentic and still not making any money. On this show, we are ditching the shoulds. I'm giving you permission to do business differently. As a certified master coach, I believe that everything you need to have success and build the life and business of your dreams is already living on the inside. I'm going to empower you to lean into what you do best, help you see your path forward clearly and give you the strategy and action steps along the way to become effortlessly productive. Let's dive in.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to today's episode of Effortlessly Productive. Today, we are going to be talking about navigating change, specifically navigating changes in our business, but this also applies to life, and the reason I really felt called to come on and share this with you is a company that I was affiliated with for a very long time announced some really big changes. That it's not going to impact me I have no skin in the game either way, but I know a lot of people, a lot of really close friends, who this is impacting and they are kind of reeling from all of this. So I wanted to put this episode out because we are always going to face changes, we're going to face some really hard decisions as business owners, and I wanted to do this episode to help. Whether you are in a situation where you're like, oh my gosh, my world, my business world, literally just got turned upside down, or whether you're navigating those changes that are happening in life, and sometimes these don't have to be big right, sometimes these can even be little changes, little shifts, but it triggers something in us where we just need a little bit extra help. We need a little extra support, we need to be able to process through what is happening, and so that is why I wanted to do this episode for you today. So I have a whole bunch of questions. So this is a definite get out your notebook, and we are going to do some journaling, or at least jot these questions down and you can spend some time thinking about them, meditating on them, journaling on them later.

Speaker 1:

But this is just to help you process and also not just help you process through something you might be going through right now, but also to give you a framework going forward of some things that you can ask yourself, because we all have had situations in life, and especially in business, where something has happened and it just doesn't feel right, it doesn't sit right. We can feel in our body that things are off, that maybe we're having a very strong emotional reaction to it, maybe we just have that nudge inside of us. I know one of my very dear friends, tricia, and I. We're always chatting back and forth if we're on the same call or like we were at a conference together a little while ago, and we always are asking like, where do you feel that in your body? And I almost always feel it in my gut, right here in my gut. She almost always feels it in her throat. These are some of our energy centers in our body. So where do you feel that you might just feel that uneasiness, right, or something just doesn't feel quite right. And when that feeling comes up, we want to pay attention to that, we want to honor that, we want to give that emotion some space so that we can figure things out, and we want to make sure that we don't just push it down, because anything we push down and don't process through, it's going to keep coming back, and so that's what we're going to be working on today.

Speaker 1:

So the first thing that I want you to journal on or ask yourself is what is fact and what is fiction in this situation? Fact and what is fiction in this situation? When I say fiction, what I really mean is what is my story, my internal story about those facts? So what is fact and what is fiction? And this is really important to start to think about and start to digest, because often and this is the way that everything works something happens. That is a fact. A fact is something we all can agree on, and every single one of us, as a human, is then going to have our own story about that. So I think it's really important, especially when we're having a very strong emotional reaction or we feel like something just isn't right, our expectations weren't met, whatever that is, or a massive change is happening in our life. The thing about what is the fact in this situation and what are these stories that I am, I'm going to say, making up, because not everybody's going to have the same story it's that thing you're telling yourself. So it's important to differentiate between the two because this will help us see the logic part of our brain is going to be like okay, here are the facts. The emotional part of our brain, or our body, is going to be like but I feel this way about it and it's going to have this fiction of things about those facts. So it's important to kind of be aware of that right. That awareness is the first piece, because if we're not aware, we can't do anything. We can't change it, we can't respond intelligently about what is happening. It's not that we have to change anything in this situation. We're going to get to that in a minute. The next thing I want you to ask yourself is what can I control and what can't I control?

Speaker 1:

So often we get this kind of news or things happen, or things are just very different. Big changes are happening. We have that strong emotional reaction. We can often feel like everything is out of our control, and when we feel like everything's out of our control, we give up our power. Everything is out of our control and when we feel like everything's out of our control, we give up our power. Those things that actually are in our control. We forget about those and we give that up and all of a sudden, literally, we are just along for the ride. There is nothing that we are doing to control the situation and, yes, whatever you are going through, there are going to be things that you are not in control of this company making this decision that impacted so many people, that you are not in control of this company making this decision that impacted so many people you are not in control of that. However, you are in control of how you respond. You're in control about whether you continue to affiliate with the company or whether you decide to pursue a different opportunity. You are in control of so many different things. So it's important to recognize where that control is and to retain your internal power, to keep that power in that situation and what is out of your control, because then you can release it.

Speaker 1:

We don't need to spend time and energy and emotion. We don't need to like give that any more than it already has gotten. Next, I want you to think about what doors are shutting, what doors have shut, because, again, if a door is completely shut and it's locked and it is barred, we don't need to try to reenter that door. Might be hard, we might have a lot of emotion around it, we might have a lot of pain around it, but if we physically and this kind of goes back to the things not in control if we physically can't open that door again, we don't need to spend more time and energy and space dwelling on that and trying to get that door back open. It is shut. And on the flip side of that, what doors has this opened for you, this change that has happened in your life? What doors has this opened? Are there new ones that you can walk through?

Speaker 1:

Maybe this is not easy to think about right now, but it's important. It's really important to think about what our next steps are going to be and know that there is hope, there is light and we can choose to see that when we're ready, we can head towards that light and towards that hope. And it might not be today and it might not be tomorrow. We might feel like we're walking through the darkness for a really long time, but just knowing that that light is there, that that other opportunity is there, that this is not the end, this is just one chapter closing and we get to start another chapter, even if that chapter is without somebody that we care about, or that chapter is something different than we ever imagined our life looking like, we still get to choose and write that new chapter.

Speaker 1:

I want you to ask yourself what is this trying to teach me? And I'm definitely not somebody who believes that everything happens for a reason. I don't believe that's true. There are sometimes things happen that are just horrible and there is no, there's not a reason for that. But every single thing in our life we can choose to take a lesson from it if we want, and part of taking a lesson from it is asking ourself what is this trying to teach me? And especially in our business, this is really important. Yeah, if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, maybe this is not trying to teach you anything, but in our business, most of the time, there is a lesson that we can take from this. Even if it was something so just painful and horrible, like you had to close your business, we can reflect back and think about how did we get here?

Speaker 1:

What were the decisions that we made that led to this? Were there things completely out of our control? That, like it, literally is not our fault. That why this happened, but there is a lesson, and I think often, you know, a lesson that I've thought about the last two days since this news came along is that sometimes we need to make sure that what we create is our own right. The reason that I was like, okay, this news kind of sucked Like. I was not particularly pleased to hear this and my heart is breaking for people who literally are losing so much from this decision, from this news. But I am so grateful that I created something of my own that's not dependent on anybody else's decision. It is my business. I get to decide what that looks like and how much income I make, who I am working with. All of that it is my decision. I am the one who is in control of that.

Speaker 1:

And so what is this trying to teach me? Maybe a lesson that you take from something is that, hey, next time I need to make sure that I hold on to my power, I need to make sure that I am ultimately in control of the destiny and the direction of my life or of my business. Maybe you ask yourself that and you're like there literally is no lesson. This isn't trying to teach me anything. If that's the case, just skip that question's not for you, but for a lot of things, and it might be something that you want to come back to a couple of times because, again, in that moment, when those emotions are so high, when we are just having a very strong emotional reaction, there might not be a lesson that we can take from that. At that moment we are not at the place of being ready to learn that lesson. So a week later, a month later, a year later, there's so many times that I look back to things that happened five years ago and, just spending that conscious time reflecting on it, I'm like, oh my goodness, that is the lesson that I was meant to take from that moment. I finally got it, but I never would have gotten that if I hadn't spent the time to ask myself that and look back and reflect. So that's an important one to keep in your back pocket and bring out later, probably a couple of times, and look back at different situations.

Speaker 1:

Next thing I want to ask you how can I use this for my benefit? How can I use this? Maybe your entire business direction is having to change because of whatever changes are happening, but how can I use this? How is this going to help me. Are there things that this is actually going to open new doors? That is going to provide new opportunity? That's going to allow you to bless and release things that you are done with that? You've learned that lesson from that. You are ready to let go and release? How is this going to help me? Here's another one. We're almost at the end.

Speaker 1:

I want you to sit with this one for a minute. What can I do that comes from peace, is for me and is not trying to fix anything or change anything? This is really, really important because I know my personality. I'm like give me a problem, I will find you a solution, and there are straight up, somethings that we don't need to fix it. We don't need to change it. That's not what the purpose of this is. There are some things that happen in life that we can't fix it, we can't change it, but what we can do is find that peace for ourselves and we can take care of ourselves in that moment. So what can I do? That comes from peace and is for me is for me. I want you to think about yourself.

Speaker 1:

You are allowed and I don't like this word selfish, but if that is how you feel in this moment. If you are feeling selfish, you are allowed to be selfish. You are allowed to do things that are for you. You are allowed to do things that heal you and help you move on. So we don't need to fix what happened. We don't need to change what happened. We need to nurture ourselves in this moment and help ourselves on this path of healing. And healing might be a weird word to use for some of these circumstances, but if we are feeling any kind of pain or uncomfortable way, like there is some healing that is ready to occur, that needs to occur. So how can you help that healing start to happen?

Speaker 1:

And the last thing I want you to ask yourself is how can I accept this with grace? Because so often these things happen, changes happen. When I say the word navigating, change, that is not a change that you necessarily like wrote in your five or 10 year or one year plan. These are usually things that are unexpected. And so how can you accept this thing that has happened with grace? It's not going to change, right. Usually, when something has occurred like that, it's not like we're going to wake up tomorrow and it's going to be like, oh, never mind, that didn't happen. Just ignore that thing. If that does, that's wonderful. But most of what we are talking about here it's not like you're going to wake up tomorrow and it suddenly is going to be gone. It is a part of your life and it's important to integrate that into our life with grace. So it's not that you have to be happy about it. It's not that you have to love what happened, but how can you accept it with as much grace, with your highest self as possible? So I hope this episode helps.

Speaker 1:

If you are going through something tough right now, I am here with you. I am supporting you. I am sharing my light with you. There is hope. You will get through these dark times. I know you are strong. Think about all of the challenges that life has thrown your way up to this point, that you have made it through. That you have conquered, whether it was with grace or without grace, like you have survived. You have gone through hard, hard, hard things and challenges in your life and you will get through this. There is that light and that hope waiting for you. You are going to be okay someday. Be okay with not being okay, right. So just give yourself a big hug.

Speaker 1:

I am giving you a big hug and if this episode, if you're like I am not going through this right now, put this in your back pocket, Come back to this when you need it because, again, life is life. We all are going to go through those times where the unexpected is going to happen, the thing that we didn't want to happen, the news we didn't want to hear, that phone that we didn't want to happen, the news we didn't want to hear, that phone call we didn't want to get. But this in your back pocket, come back to this, listen to this when you need it, write down these questions and refer back to them and I hope this helps you navigate through those business changes and also other life changes when life and business decide to throw that wrench into your well-laid plans. So I'm here with you. You got this. I am sending you so much love in this moment. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day.

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