Effortlessly Productive

Affirmation: Love and Connection (Finding Joy in Letting Go of the Need to Be Right)

Annie Veblen McCarty Episode 24

What happens when the relentless pursuit of being right actually drives a wedge between you and the ones you care about? Join me, Annie Veblen-McCarty, as I share a personal journey of realizing that love and connection hold far more power than the need to constantly win arguments. In our latest episode, I invite you to explore how this shift in focus not only transformed my relationships but can potentially reshape yours too. We'll dissect how a simple daily affirmation became a catalyst for change, helping prioritize heartfelt connections over the hollow victory of being right.

As I unravel the story of relying on academic prowess as a means to gain recognition and achievement, you'll hear about the profound impact this mindset had on my personal and professional life. Yet, I discovered that it no longer served me in the way I needed as I navigated life beyond accolades. Listen in as I explore the courage it took to realign my choices with the present and the joy that followed. I can't wait to hear how this resonates with you and am eager to embark on this journey towards a more effortlessly productive life together. Let's redefine success by choosing love and connection at every turn.

Speaker 1:

Hey, this is Annie Veblen-McCarty and I'm gonna teach you how to be effortlessly productive. I've been an entrepreneur for over 20 years and I got sick and tired of experts preaching what business and life should look like and what I should be doing as a leader and to turn a profit, only to find myself wasting time, burned out, feeling inauthentic and still not making any money. On this show, we are ditching the shoulds. I'm giving you permission to do business differently. As a certified master coach, I believe that everything you need to have success and build the life and business of your dreams is already living on the inside. I'm going to empower you to lean into what you do best, help you see your path forward clearly and give you the strategy and action steps along the way to become effortlessly productive. Let's dive in. Welcome to another Affirmation edition of Effortlessly Productive. Today, we are going to be diving into another one of my daily affirmations that I use and kind of the background and why this is so powerful for me. So the affirmation is I choose love and connection over being right. I don't know about you, but I grew up as one of those kids and then one of those young adults. I love being right, and I think that's a human thing. I'm not sure that, like most of us, we want to be right and to the point where our subconscious will actually look for reasons why we're right and it will ignore all evidence to the contrary. So if you are one of those people as well, I know for some people like my mom, she's always like why do your kids like they argue so much about certain things and like why do they have to always be right? And I'm like, well, probably because they're my kids, and like for her, probably because they're my kids and like for her, it's not that big of a deal. She definitely is like more naturally wired to have that love and connection piece. For me it was a real journey and a real process to understand what was happening in my subconscious and also, just number one, acknowledging that I really did have this huge drive to be right all the time and I'm sure part of it was as a kid.

Speaker 1:

I was very academically successful. I did really well on tests. I was right a lot of the time. I had a lot of knowledge and I was very good with that knowledge and so when I was wrong in a school sense, I took it very personally. I made it mean something about me. Academics is much more black and white, right? So when you were taking a test, when you were doing a math problem, there was a correct answer and very easy to be like that was the correct answer or that was not the correct answer.

Speaker 1:

However, there is a lot of life where there is no correct answer. There's that gray area, right, there are lots of different answers, and I don't even like the gray area analogy. To be honest. There is a whole rainbow of hues out there. Life is not grayscale, it is full color. That's what makes life so magical and beautiful is there are so many different colors out there, so many different flavors, so many different perspectives and ideas and all of that, and with all of that, with creativity, you look at a piece of art. It's not right or like.

Speaker 1:

That song is amazing, I love it. Another one will be like I hate that song, it is awful. I can't stand that song. No one's right, no one's wrong, it's an opinion, and if life was all like everybody liked the same things, it would be so boring. What makes it all boring is we have so many different colors, right. We have so many different opinions and things that appeal to different people. That's what makes it interesting, so my brain was always telling me you have to be right To the point. I would literally argue things even if I realized, like, oh, maybe I was wrong. I would still argue things of like no, I know, I am right. It was so important to me.

Speaker 1:

What I did not realize that I was creating with this, though, was a disconnect, a disconnect between me and the is wrong. Right, when you have that dichotomy, when you have those opposites, if somebody is right, that means somebody is wrong, and my need and urge to be right all the time meant that I was making other people wrong, and what happens when we do that is we create disconnection. We create disconnection between us and the other people in our lives, and once I realized that that was the impact that I was actually creating with this that, yes, I was making it mean something about me if I was wrong in air quotes, if I was wrong, that there was something wrong with me. Actually, what was happening in this whole dynamic is I was losing that there was something wrong with me. Actually, what was happening in this whole dynamic is I was losing that connection and that relationship with other people and that's why I started using this as a daily affirmation to remind myself that right wrong, that's great. To be right whatever, that's part of life. There's sometimes when you're right, there's sometimes when you're wrong. But when we argue it to the degree where we are creating that disconnect, that's not what I wanted.

Speaker 1:

I wanted stronger relationships and stronger connection with the people in my life who were important to me. I wanted a stronger connection with my husband. I wanted a stronger connection with my kids. I wanted a stronger connection with my kids and as long as my brain and subconscious was stuck on being right all the time, there wasn't any more connection happening. It was a larger disconnect. So that's why I use this affirmation every single day to remind myself.

Speaker 1:

I frame the wording this way I choose because it is a choice. I could choose that being right was more important and that was a choice that I made for many years of my life. But I am now consciously choosing love and connection over being right. That love and connection is the most important piece to me. So I give myself this daily reminder because we all have those things that were programmed into us and that need to be right was so pre-programmed into my subconscious that that is what I will default to for sure.

Speaker 1:

I have to more intentionally think about when a situation comes up where there is in my brain. My brain is telling me there's a right and a wrong to this. I have to remind it. That's not the most important thing, though. The most important thing to me, the most important thing there has always been to me and this is why I felt so out of my body for so many years is because that being right actually wasn't the most important thing to me, even when I thought it was. The most important thing to me is love and connecting with the people that I love the most. So I hope this helps you, especially if you are somebody like me where being right is like you're just drawn to that. You have that pull to that and you realize that that is not serving you in the way that you want it to anymore, and I think that is important also to recognize.

Speaker 1:

There is a reason why that old belief that being right, that was serving me in a way. That was how I got recognition. That was how I was so successful in school. That was why I've been successful in my career because I have that strong academic foundation and I was so successful in school and in learning. I acquired so much knowledge. Being bright served me very well for a very long time. However, where I am in my life, it is not serving me in the way that it used to, and there's actually a different choice that serves me better. So take this affirmation if this is helpful for you. I can't wait to hear how this changes your perspective, if you choose to use this, and I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day. Thank you for tuning in to Effortlessly Productive and I will catch you on the next episode.

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