Do They Make You Better?

The people around you are either helping you level up or keeping you stuck. Every conversation, every influence, every relationship is shaping the way you think, move, and grow. The real question is: Do the people around you make you better?

In this powerful episode of Flow with Floyd, we unpack one of the most important truths about personal growth: the difference between assigned relationships and allowed relationships—a concept inspired by a powerful message from Pastor Howard John Wesley.

Some people are assigned to your life. They're there to teach you something, sharpen you, challenge your perspective, or help move you toward your purpose. Others are simply there because you allowed them access. The problem is that not everyone who has access to your life adds value to it.

In this episode, you'll discover:

🔥 How to take a serious look at your circle and identify who's helping you grow and who's draining your momentum.

🔥 Why everybody doesn't deserve front-row seats to your dreams, your energy, or your future—even if they're family.

🔥 How intentional relationships can accelerate your growth, increase your confidence, and help you become the person you're called to be.

This conversation isn't about cutting people off. It's about putting people in their proper place. Because the quality of your life is often connected to the quality of the relationships you choose to keep.

Remember: Growth isn't just about what you're doing. It's also about who you're doing life with.

🎧 Tune in, audit your circle, and ask yourself one life-changing question:

Do they make you better?

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Oh yeah, flow with me tonight. Let the five let me write you. Turn the volume up and leave your world behind. Yeah, it's that flow with Floyd, one of a kind.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Welcome back to another thought-provoking episode of Flow with Floyd. You know the podcast where we get real about life, mindset, and personal growth. One deep conversation at a time. I'm your host, and today we're going to entertain a question that I have been pondering for a few weeks now. Do the people in your life make you better? Now, I can't take credit for this question. The inspiration for today's episode actually comes from a sermon by Pastor Howard John Wesley of Alpha Street Baptist Church. He preached a powerful message titled, Do They Make You Better? And let me tell you as a word. It made me reflect back on my own relationships, my inner circle, and the impact that people have on my life. And I knew that I had to bring this conversation here to you. Because whether you realize it or not, the people we surround ourselves with will either push us forward or hold us back. There's no neutral. So today we're going to unpack how to evaluate the people in your life, the difference between assign and allow relationships. And most importantly, how to be intentional about the company you keep. So grab your favorite drink, sit back, relax, and let's follow the flow. All right now. Now let's start with something real. Your environment shapes you more than you think. You ever hear the saying that show me your friends and I'll show you your future? That's right. There is truth. The people you surround yourself with shape our minds, our habits, and even the way we see the world. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. This suggests that we are heavily influenced by the people we consistently surround ourselves with. And that's because humans, we are social creatures. And we subconsciously adopt the behaviors, the beliefs, and the attitudes of the people around us. If you spend most of your time with ambitious, growth-oriented individuals, you will naturally be pushed to grow. But on the flip side, if you surround yourself with negativity, laziness, and a toxic energy, it can drag you down without you even realizing it. You ever notice that when we hang around highly motivated people, you start thinking bigger, or how negativity can spread like wildfire in a toxic environment? That's because our emotions, habits, and perspectives are contagious. If the people in our inner circle prioritize personal growth, hard work, and positivity, you're more likely to embody those same qualities. Remember, your closer relationships influence your daily habits, how you handle challenges and even your standards for success. If your friends are constantly talking about business ideas, fitness goals, or self-improvement, those conversations become the new normal. But if the main topic in your circle are complaints, gossip, or excuses, that becomes your reality. But here's another one for you. Water seeks its own level. The meaning is that we all naturally rise or sink to the level of the people that are around us. If you surround yourself with people who think big, work hard, and chase and pursue their dreams, guess what? That energy is contagious and it rubs off. But if you're constantly around negativity, excuses, and stagnation, that will pull you down again before you realize this. So let's take a moment. I want you to do this little exercise. I want you to think about the five people you spend the most time with. Do they push you towards your goals? Do they inspire you to grow, learn, and evolve? Or do they drain your energy and keep you stuck in the same old repetitive cycle? Now you see, the people around us are like the wind. They either push us forward or they hold us back. And sometimes we don't even notice the impact until we take a step back and evaluate them. You know, I had this friend, let's call him Mike, who's a funny guy, always down for a good time. But he had this energy about him, negative, always doubting himself, making excuses. And after a while, I noticed I was picking up those same thoughts and habits. Instead of being optimistic about my future, I became pessimistic, doubting my own value to the world, but more importantly, to myself. And it took me years to understand that our friendship was toxic. If you want to grow, you need to be around people who are growing too. And sometimes that means making tough decisions or choices about who gets access to your energy. So go check out www.d-re-i-s-s-i-g apparel.com and place your order today. As a customer myself, I can say that quality customer service is their specialty. Now it's time to get real deep. So get ready. Now, whether you realize it or not, every person in your life is either assigned or allowed. Let me say that again. Every person in your life is either a sign or allowed. Can I go deeper? Assigned people are the ones in your life you didn't necessarily choose, but they're in your life for a reason. We have no say so in the family we're born into, but we do have say in how we navigate those relationships. Through our life, we'll encounter friends, acquaintances, and even strangers who will cross our paths unexpectedly. Everybody in your life is there for a reason or a season. Some will teach us valuable lessons, others will challenge us, and few will push us towards growth that we didn't know that we needed. These connections are not random. They are assignments. They're meant to shape us, refine us, and sometimes even redirect our journey. Now, whether they offer support or bring challenges, each assigned person serves a purpose in our story. Yet the key is discerning their role and learning from every interaction so that you can continue to grow into the person that you are truly meant to be. These relationships are not always easy, but they are necessary. A tough mentor, a demanding boss, or even a family member who holds you accountable. These are the people who force you to grow, especially when it's uncomfortable. Let me give you a real life example. Let's think about Joseph from the Bible. He didn't choose his brothers, yet they played a very critical role in his journey. Out of jealousy, they sold him into slavery, which led him to Egypt. That wasn't an accident, it was an assignment. Through portrayal and hardships from unexpected connections, Joseph ended up in a position of power that allowed him to save an entire nation, including their very brothers who wronged him. Okay, let me break it down just a little bit more. Have you ever had someone who constantly challenged you? For me, it was Coach Majors. I mean, from the day I stepped foot on campus, he challenged me. He was a very demanding person. He would tell us that practice don't make perfect, but perfect practice makes you better. I couldn't stand a man. For years, I harbored so much animosity towards him. But over time I started to appreciate him because of his high demands and standards. I learned discipline, resilience, and how to pay attention to detail. All of these skills made me a better person. Beating Coach Majors wasn't random, it was assigned. Now, the problem that we have with assigned relationships is that they are not always comfortable, but they are purposeful. Some people are placed in our lives to teach you, to sharpen you, and even push you into your destiny. And the key is to recognize a difference between an assignment that promotes growth and a situation that simply drains you. Now, a lot of people are the ones that you invite into your life. These are the relationships that you create and you choose: friends, partners, or anyone that you let into your personal space. Pastor Wesley said, most of the relationships we have, they are not intentional. They're random. They happen by accident, not by purpose. We connect with people based upon emotions, what's familiar, or even sometimes what is convenient. We vibe with who we vibe with. But here's the danger. Not everyone you connect to or with deserves access to you. Look at it this way: let's say you're throwing a house part and you leave the front door wide open. Anyone walking by can just stroll in, grab a plate, sit on your couch, use your restroom, take up space in your home. Now, some guests were in good energy, meaningful conversation and encouragement, but others, they show up empty-handed. They drain their room's energy and they leave a mess behind. The problem is that we often entertain people in our lives in the same way. Some of the people we allow into our space don't have the concern or the capacity to build us up because they're too consumed with training us. Yet we keep them around because they make us feel good temporarily. They stroke our ego. Or they might help us escape an insecurity that we have about ourselves. And they distract us from things that we don't want to face. And then you have some that'll fill a void. We only tolerate them because we fear loneliness. But here's the truth: whether a person is assigned to you by circumstances or allowed to you by choice, not everyone is meant to stay forever. Relationships have seasons. And when they stop serving your growth, you have to take responsibility for who remains in your life. The question is: who are you allowing to your space? And are they helping you become better? So here's a truth moment. Just because someone has been in your life for years, doesn't mean they stay forever. And just because someone is family doesn't mean they automatically deserve access to your energy, your dreams, or your time. Growth requires discernment. You have a choice in who you allow access into your world. And if you are truly committed to becoming a better person, you must be intentional about that choice. Because not everyone is meant to go where you're going. So how do you know who's making us better and who's holding us back? Here are three key traits of people who elevate you. They challenge you. They push you to be your best. They don't let you settle. They call you out when you're slipping, but they do it with love. These are the people who see your potential even at the times when you don't. They won't let you stay too comfortable in a given situation because they know what you are capable of. Think about that one friend or family member who constantly reminds you of your goals when you start making excuses. Or maybe the mentor who holds you accountable when you're not putting the work in. Or that family member who encourages you to keep going when you feel like giving up. Their challenges are not meant to break you, they're meant to build you up. Remember, Solomon said iron sharpeners iron, and the right people will sharpen you into the best version of yourself. People who elevate you, they also inspire you. Their energy, their mindset, and their work ethic make you want to level up to their point. Being around them sparks something in you, whether it's ambition, creativity, or just simply discipline. They don't just talk about goals, they take action. They don't complain about obstacles, they just find solutions. And because you see them pushing forward, grinding, you start believing that you can do the same. These are the people whose presence challenges you to be better, to think bigger, to work harder, and to dream beyond your current reality. Now, whether there is their dedication or personal growth or their resilience in tough times, or maybe their ability to turn setbacks into comebacks, they set a standard that makes you want to rise higher. Their grind motivates you. Their belief in themselves strengthen your belief in yourself. Their success reminds you that greatness is possible. Surrounding yourself with people like that doesn't just change your mindset. It changes your future. And the third thing that people who elevate you do is they support your growth. There's no jealousy, no competition. It's just genuine encouragement and celebration of your wins. These are the people who clap for you when you succeed, not because they have to, because they really want to see you win. They don't feel threatened by your progress. They feel inspired. They constantly remind you that your potential, even at the points where you doubt yourself, they offer their guidance when you need direction. And they stand beside you through both the victories as well as the setbacks. Their support isn't conditional. It's deeply rooted in love and respect and a shared belief of their success. With them, you don't have to shrink yourself to make them comfortable. You don't have to downplay your dreams or second guess your ambitions. Instead, they push you to even go further, cheering you on the way one step at a time. Real friends, real mentors, and real supporters don't compete with you. They grow with you. And here's another real talk moment. But let's be honest, sometimes people holding us back are the ones that are closest to us. And that's where it begets tough. Because loyalty is real. Love is real. But so is growth. And if someone is in your life isn't growing with you, then you have to make that decision. Are they still part of this journey? Are they part of the past? Is your athletic team, fundraising organization, or corporate company in need of apparel? Then gear up with the real deal and let DrySick Apparel take care of your needs. Check out www.dreisig apparel.com and place your order today. Now, let's not get it twisted. This episode is not meant for you to go all willy-nilly and start dismissing people from your life. It means to be intentional about who gets the most access to your time, energy, and mindset. The first thing you should do is audit your inner circle. Write down the five people you spend the most time with. Are they challenging, inspiring, and supporting you? Now your list might look something like this. You have Mike, your best friend since high school. Always fun to be around, but never seem to have any type of real ambition. He complains about life, but never take any actions to change it. Or you might have a Jessica. She could be a coworker that you hang out with often. Now she's motivated. She's always reading self-development books and actively working towards her goals. Every time you talk to her, you leave feeling inspired. Or better yet, you might have a David, your gym partner. Now, David is disciplined, focused, and constantly pushing himself. If you skip a workout, he'll call you out on it. Then you might have Sarah. Sarah's a close friend who's supportive but tends to bring a lot of drama. Now she's always there to listen to you when it's time to vent. But she also drains your energy with her negativity and her gossip. Or maybe you have a cousin named Chris. He's family. So you feel obligated to spend time with him. But let the truth be told, he discourages more than he encourages you. He doesn't believe in chasing big dreams, and he often makes fun of your goals. Now, let's take a look at this list. Jessica and David challenge and inspire you. So you should spend more time with them. Mike and Sarah, they really don't push you to be better. While they're fun, they may not be helping you grow. Now your cousin Chris, he actively discourages you. So you might need to set boundaries on how much access that he has time to your time and your energy. The second thing you need to do is seek out growth-minded people. Join communities, support groups, take classes, network with people who think bigger. Remember, energy is contagious. And the third thing you need to do is you need to set boundaries. If someone's energy is dreaming, it's okay to love them from a distance. Remember, you have to protect your peace. I remember when I started shifting my inner circle, I started playing small, I started thinking bigger, taking more risk. And guess what? Life rewarded that mindset. That's that's the power about being intentional about your relationships. Do the people in your life push you forward or hold you back? Inspired by a powerful sermon by Pastor Wesley, we broke down the difference between being assigned and being allowed. Those that are given to us by circumstances versus the ones that we actively choose. We also explored how to how the people around us shape our mindset, our habits, and even our ideas of success. We use real-life examples to unpack the importance of auditing your circle, recognizing relationships that challenge, inspire, and support you, and setting boundaries for those who drain your energy. For remember, at the end of the day, not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Growth requires making intentional choices about who has access to your time, your energy, and your dreams. So, here's my challenge for you this week. Take a hard look at your inner circle. Step back, evaluate your relationship, and ask yourself: are the people around me making me better? Now, it's not about cutting people off, it's about understanding the roles that they play in your life. Some people are meant to challenge and push you, some of their support and uplift you, and others serve as lessons rather than lifelong companions. Not everyone is meant to walk with you forever. And you know what? That's okay. The key is to being intentional about who has access to your time, energy, and growth. So surround yourself with those who align with your purpose and watch how your life begins to elevate. So hit me up on Instagram at FlowWithFloyd and let me know what changes you're making. And if this episode hits home for you, do me a favor like, subscribe, comment, and share with a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time, keep flowing, keep growing, and always follow the flow.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Let the noise just fade away. Find your peace and start today. Just breathe in this quiet space with a gentle, steady pace. Growth will bloom here in its time. Growth will bloom here in its time.