21. How to Frame Conversations with Men to Get What You Want

This episode isn’t about manipulation — it’s about mastering feminine communication.

We’re diving into polarity, emotional intelligence, and how to speak to men in a way that builds trust, attraction, and alignment. When you honor masculine and feminine energy, everything flows smoother — you feel softer, he feels empowered, and everyone wins.

In this episode, I share:
 💋 The truth about masculine vs. feminine communication
 💞 How to express needs as desires — not demands
 🧠 Why men want to feel trusted, needed, and respected
 🪞 How to reframe conflict so he rises to the occasion
 🌸 The power of emotional regulation and staying in your feminine

This one’s for the girls who want to stay soft and get what they want — without losing their authenticity or power.

If this episode resonates, share it with a friend, subscribe, and tag me on Instagram so I can see your takeaways! 💛

00:00 Introduction to Framing Conversations

00:12 Understanding Masculine and Feminine Energy

01:12 The Importance of Polarity in Relationships

01:55 Effective Communication Strategies

02:51 Framing Conversations from the Feminine

05:10 Creating Alignment and Attraction

08:46 Maintaining Respect and Trust

11:39 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Transcript

0:01

Hi friends. Welcome back to Becoming Sunshine. So I titled this episode How to Frame Conversations with Men in Order to Get What You Want. It's not about being manipulative, it's about polarity, relationship dynamics and the differences between masculine and feminine energy. When you honor that polarity, everything flows smoother. He'll be happier, you'll get what you want. He'll feel empowered, it's a win-win. men and women are fundamentally different and you have to talk to them and communicate differently. understanding that the way our brains work is different and the way we think is different and honoring that works out better all around. For the longest time I was able to communicate with men effectively in the club and have a positive outcome a lot of the time, and then in my personal romantic relationships, I would struggle with things. It wasn't until I fully understood this concept and embraced it, that I started to have a lot more success in my personal relationships. Men want to be in their masculine energy. They're designed to protect and provide, and they're comfortable in that energy. When you're in your feminine energy, you're gonna be the happiest and you're gonna be the most relaxed, and you're gonna be the most attractive, and then when he's in his masculine, he's gonna be the most attractive to you. So it really just works out for everyone and that's why polarity creates attraction. When you're, in you're masculine and you're trying to manage him or manage the relationship, you're not happy. He's not happy. No one's happy. It's not working out. Attraction dies. Maintaining polarity is key in order to maintain attraction. The masculine wants to lead, they want to protect, they wanna provide, and the feminine inspires that by being open and receptive and emotionally honest. Women are wise and are very emotionally intuitive. Women are all about community and sharing stories. Men are different. Men operate differently when they're having an issue, they go figure it out. Like that book, men are from Mars, women are from Venus. That book is not all accurate, but there are some themes for sure that are true. The way we handle conflict is just different. If you're in a disagreement with a man and you try to out logic him, that's gonna put you in your masculine and it's gonna come off as combative. When guys are butting heads at work, one comes out top dog, and it's like you're going head to head with him. You're both in your masculine, you're not gonna win that. That's not gonna work. You have to fight femininely. When you're framing conversations from the feminine, you want to express your needs as desires instead of as demands. Men like to feel useful, they like to feel needed. They want to provide for you. They want to make you feel fulfilled and taken care of. That makes them feel good. So framing things in a way where they can feel like they're taking care of you as opposed to you demanding things of them, or like they're falling short on something. That's just gonna discourage them and that's gonna put them in a position where they feel incompetent or emasculated and they're gonna shut down. But if you're presenting things as an opportunity to please you and make you happy, they're gonna rise to the occasion. For example, if a guy isn't doing something for you that you want, instead of saying you never do X, Y, Z for me, you should say, it makes me feel really safe when you do this for me. A great way to get a man to be a certain way, and people in general, is to describe them as that person, because they're gonna wanna live up to that expectation. If you tell a guy you love how generous he is, he's gonna be generous. He's gonna continue to be generous because he likes that. He likes feeling, like he's this amazing, generous guy. He's gonna wanna continue to prove that he is. Whatever you want from him, say you love that he's like that and he'll continue to be like that and show up more like that. Complimenting him and saying that you love that he's this person for you, he does this for you. He will continue to do it. It's just framing things in a way again, where they don't feel diminished or they don't feel like they failed you. Men are so sensitive and the worst thing is feeling like they let you down or you've lost your ability to respect them or your faith in them to lead and provide. If they already feel like they've failed, they're less likely to rise to the occasion. But if you give them an opportunity to please you, they're more than likely going to try. This creates safety and motivation in men. So attraction happens through energy, not strategy. So when you're fully embodied in your feminine, your confident, calm, self-assured, and in control of your emotions. This naturally brings out a man's masculine energy. I feel like when I'm talking to my man, and when you feel truly safe and taken care of by a guy, and I don't just mean like financially, like emotionally and like physically whatever. I feel like it pulls out the softness. For example when I was in a really toxic relationship, I was always pulled out of character and I was always pulled into my masculine and that definitely killed all the attraction in the relationship. Of course we're not gonna be attracted to each other. I don't trust him to lead and he sees me as someone who is always disappointed in him and always feels let down, and that doesn't make him feel good. That makes him feel emasculated. But then when I am with someone who makes me feel safe. I wanna be the softest, most submissive version of myself. And I'm not saying that, women have to submit to men, but it naturally pulls that out of you. That's how we wanna feel, I wanna feel like I can just turn my brain off and, relax and do whatever and be like a little creative dreamer and he's got it. Big Daddy's gonna take care of me. He's got that daddy energy. I feel secure, I feel safe, I feel taken care of. I just wanna be a soft sweet princess, and the more we are in that energy, the more they wanna provide and take care of us That's how polarity and attraction works. I think it's important to recognize that, it's a good match romantically, if you feel like you can be soft with that guy. I couldn't be with a guy that I didn't truly admire, look up to and trust to lead because then I'm not gonna be soft. I'm gonna feel like I have to take care of everything and I'm gonna be scared to let go of the reigns. I'm a very independent woman, I can take care of myself, so I feel like if I'm in a relationship with a guy and it's a good match, I feel like I can give up the reins. Not that I would ever give up my autonomy, but the difference is you trust them to handle things. And isn't that the whole point of having a man, if he's not gonna take something off of my plate and make my life easier, why do I have him, if I can't trust him to lead, why is he even in the picture? It's not about pretending to be less than or incompetent. It's about being in your power differently. The man is the head in the relationship, but the woman is the neck. You turn the head, you inspire what he looks at and what he pays attention to. Men and women have power and express their power in different ways. With women it's more of a soft power, and with men it's definitely more of the type of power that you think of, but equally as important, equally as powerful. The men are the ones that get it done, but the woman lets him know what needs to be done, if that makes sense. Don't get mad at me when I say that guys, and he's happy to do it. He's happy to do it. So let's reframe the getting what you want as creating alignment where both people feel seen and appreciated. He's gonna feel the most happy in his role, and so are you. it's just learning how to communicate effectively with men in order to create more attraction in the relationship. To get what you want yes, but also to make you both feel more fulfilled. At the end of the day, you have to think of it, how can I reframe this and how can I position this conflict in a way where he can prove himself to me because one, that's what you want from him. And two, that's what he wants to be able to do. That's why sometimes in relationships, why the attraction goes away because men and women just aren't communicating effectively. So if a guy does something that disappoints you, instead of making him feel super shameful or like he can't redeem himself, give him the opportunity. And phrase it in a way where you're coming from your feminine, that's attractive to him and disarms him and he's not going to war with you, and it's not combative. A man's gonna be obsessed with you if you make him feel like the man that he wants to be. It's not about the woman, it's about how you make him feel. So if he feels like he's big dog, he's gonna wanna keep you around, he's gonna be obsessed with you, you're gonna make him feel like Superman, and that's why men thrive in relationships. Women build them up to be this person and then they rise to the occasion and become that person. That's why men are way more successful when they're in relationships. When you understand polarity, you stop forcing outcomes and you start magnetizing them. The most important thing is being able to emotionally regulate as women because going off and talking to your man like blah, blah, blah, like that's not gonna get you what you want. It's not gonna make anything better. It's not going to give you the solution. If you are talking to a man like that, that should be an indicator to you that you've lost respect for him. And I'm not saying that you can't get it back, but I think it is really difficult when you've lost respect for a guy that you're with to get it back. I personally think that once the respect is lost or I don't trust them, or they've let me down in a way where I'm just so disappointed that I view them differently. I think that's really challenging to come back from. First and foremost because you're not gonna be able to frame a conversation where he can prove himself to you if you don't trust him to be able to prove himself or you don't believe in him anymore. And he's gonna feel that too. If your man feels like you don't believe in him, that shouldn't be your man, honestly. So yeah, let me know if you guys try this and if this helps you in your relationships. The more I have put these principles to the test and the more I've changed the way I speak to them and relate to men. It really has been night and day, honestly. Learning how to talk to men and be able to get what you want I feel like so many people frame it as like how to manipulate men and it's really not that. Everyone is happier and I usually end up getting what I want. So love that for me. Love that for us ladies. Let me know what you guys think of this episode. I hope it was helpful and I hope that it makes sense and that helps you guys in your relationships. If you liked it, share it, subscribe, send it to your friends. Let's keep the girlies in their power and let's keep our relationships happy and fulfilling. So yeah, I will see you guys next time with some more tips. Okay, bye. Love you guys.