Thriving with Bi-Polar with Chris Vandeventer

Can you imagine facing the world with extreme vulnerability as your primary coping mechanism? Chris Van Deventer did just that after being diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder. Join us as Chris opens his heart about how societal stigma, emotional highs and lows, and the struggle to balance personal and professional roles affected his mental health journey. Chris's story is a testament to the universal battle of life's ups and downs, emphasizing the crucial need for self-care and external balance.

In this episode, Chris navigates the therapeutic power of creativity and community in his mental health management. We dive into the challenges of imposter syndrome and the importance of showing up, even on the hard days. Discover how transitioning from a lone wolf mentality to surrounding oneself with supportive individuals has been incredibly healing for Chris. His poetry and creative expression have become powerful tools for managing emotions and fostering a sense of connection and purpose.

Chris shares profound moments that led him to prioritize self-care, face fears, and slow down through meditation. He discusses the growth that comes from these challenges and the value of community support, especially through groups like the Uncivilized Nation. Tune in to hear Chris's inspiring journey of authenticity, vulnerability, and continuous personal growth, and learn how embracing change can transform your life.

Transcript

Alex Lange 0:02

Hey, chris. So for the viewers, I'm here with Chris Van Deventer. I had the opportunity to go through the Uncivilized man coaching certification with Chris, and this is where I learned that Chris was diagnosed with bipolar two disorder, excited to learn more and share with everyone that's listening about how he transitioned from this struggling with this to thriving with this. And so, chris, welcome and thank you for coming on.

Chris Vandeventer 0:37

Thanks, Alex. I'm excited to be here. I'm excited for this space that you're providing for me to feel safe being here and for others to feel safe listening. So I'm happy to be here, man.

Alex Lange 0:51

So, chris, tell, tell the viewers a little bit about yourself, your story, and let's dive deep into this.

Chris Vandeventer 1:01

Yeah, so, like you said, like, uh, four years ago now, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder and I do, amongst the work I'm doing as a creative person, as a poet, and the work that I've dived into in men's work, uh, I've been picking and choosing where I share that information of that diagnosis and I think the reason that I've been doing that is because a lot of people don't know what to do with that information.

Chris Vandeventer 1:35

We're taught a lot of things through media and such and when I'm trying to be a full-time leader in my life, to lead other men into more vulnerability, I do have to wonder if the word bipolar would make a person think, oh, this isn't a person that can lead, this isn't a person I can follow, because they're crazy. And it's been a huge lesson for me understanding what that word bipolar does with my life. I was diagnosed for a reason. I've experienced extreme highs mania, absolute joy to the point that I lose some of my self-awareness and I've experienced extreme lows not being able to get out of bed for days and ultimately being suicidal and attempting to take my life. The way that I understand bipolar that anyone can understand is that we all go through highs and lows.

Chris Vandeventer 2:50

We all go through ebbs and flows in our life, both from external impacts as well as internal. When good things happen in our life, we naturally get happier. When bad things happen, we naturally start to struggle a bit more. When our hormones and our energy levels in us go up and go down, we react to both internal and external forces. The way I understand bipolar in a simple view is that this is just this highs and lows is highlighted, it's emphasized. You go a little bit's emphasized. You go a little bit higher, you go a little bit lower. Uh, how we take care of ourselves and our body will naturally balance that. How we study the things that we can control, the external things in our life that we can control, will naturally balance that.

Chris Vandeventer 3:45

So you and I, alex, we're going through the same story. We have our different versions. Obviously, the biggest difference I see is just that depression is around the corner for me. I know it very well. I know you have your own struggles. Sometimes my depression might just be lower because that chemical imbalance is greater for me. But either way, we're both trying to achieve balance in our lives. It's still very important, like I know it's important to you balancing your work life with your family life. Being a family man, I know how much that means to you and how much you're working on yourself to find that balance to allow yourself to get the most of your life. I'm doing the same thing and I'm just learning. The impact that my highs and lows can have can be very strong.

Alex Lange 4:43

Absolutely. Now I want to go back four years ago. You talked about being diagnosed four years ago. Tell me, walk me through that time of your life. You know, obviously there were some things that led up to your diagnosis, but how? How did you cope with learning about this? Take me through all of that.

Chris Vandeventer 5:03

Yeah, so I'm a believer in extreme vulnerability. Um, I believe it's an adrenaline sport, and so this was right around the time where I started to express myself very vulnerably on social media and I actually remember, uh, I told my girlfriend, my partner at the time, but I didn't know how else to express it, and so I turned to social media and I remember taking a video in my room, super calm, super baseline, just being like, hey, I'm bipolar and everything's good, just getting that out there. And then I posted it and absolutely broke down because, saying the words, I am bipolar. I didn't realize how much that was going to affect me and how much my inner dialogue blew up with all the stories I've heard of people being crazy, having bipolar this, that and so. That was one of my first practices in being super vulnerable online, and I got a good reception from friends and family, mentors, all this and people that I still hear mention it. Sometimes, when they, when someone's acting out, when someone's being highly emotional or something, we don't know how to explain their actions, it slips out. Sometimes, I don't, I don't know, maybe they're bipolar or something, and when I'm not on top of my understanding, it really does impact me and I think how can I do this? How can I find balance? How can I lead people when I have had periods in my life of being so low that time that when I got diagnosed, I was coming out of a crazy summer where I had lost my self-awareness in spending a ton of money and partying a lot and the low was just coming on. Where I look back at what I've done and I start labeling everything I've done as being a failure, everything I've done as being a failure.

Chris Vandeventer 7:32

And I started turning to that diagnosis when I was low, as a way, as a way to beat myself up even more. When it got down to it and I had all these like pretty potent medications that were meant to balance me out, I saw them as a way to relieve some of the pain I was feeling. Friday night I'd been at the bar with my friend telling him about how great I was doing now that I had this diagnosis. I had a better understanding, which is true, but at the time I was still taking on all the negative connotations around it. And I woke up Tuesday morning and just felt this absolute low. It was like I gained 200 pounds overnight. I was so heavy, couldn't lift my head up anymore. I was so ashamed of who I was. I wouldn't have lifted my head up even if I could.

Chris Vandeventer 8:41

And that was a time where the low hit so hard, so fast, that I thought there was only one way out. And I ended up overdosing on those medications and thankfully thankfully I ended up getting to the hospital that night and recovering. But the wall went up, the shield went up and I wanted to pretend I was okay again, and by the next morning I was still so high off the drugs and the effects of it that I couldn't walk from the drugs that I the medication that I'd overdosed on. I couldn't walk, but I still managed to convince the doctor, the psychiatrist, to let me go, and so they had to wheelchair me out of the hospital just so I could get a ride home telling one.

Chris Vandeventer 9:47

Like 10 hours after I tried to take my life, I was already trying to convince people I was okay again, because there's still this innate thing in me of when I'm absolutely struggling, this idea that I can't ask for help is so strong. That's where I relate to other men. I don't think it matters what your diagnosis is. So many of us have that deep in us and I'm like how can we get that out? How can we get rid of that idea that I don't need or I'm not deserving of help when I'm struggling?

Alex Lange 10:30

That's. That's a very, a very powerful message and something that stuck out to me and I told you the statistic on this, because you correlated this to men in general. Right, 21% of US adults and this is not just men, but this is women and men, which is about 52.9 million people in 2020 struggled with a mental health condition. So I understand that we're talking about bipolar here and this is just a general mental health condition, and that's from NAMIorg. And then the other statistics that I gathered.

Alex Lange 11:06

That was really really powerful to me is that the CDC put 50% of the society will, at some point in their life, struggle with a mental health condition. And I throw statistics out there, not as like, oh you know, you're doomed or whatever the case you know may be, but that this is possibly a very common you know mental health is very common that people struggle with, and so I wanted to ask you what was the toughest thing, what was the toughest situation or whatever kept coming up for you during this process, from four years ago all the way up until now, Like, what has been the toughest thing for you?

Embracing Creativity for Mental Health

Chris Vandeventer 11:51

Yeah, I touched on it a little bit, like I was using it to beat myself even up even more when I was low. Um, because there's this misunderstanding around different mental health diagnoses like you just named it, like 50 something million people, 50 something million people and we can't tell us 50 million people say, oh, they're crazy. Like everybody knows someone. Like when I brought it up prior on the call, you knew someone. Like um, it affects all of us whether you are one of the 50 million people that have this a diagnosis, with mental health struggle, or you just know someone. And so we're all learning to deal with this and I would take it and use it to beat myself up more and to put myself down into like a self-shame cycle. Uh, it really feeds my imposter syndrome. I'm a certified um man, uncivilized coach, as you mentioned now, and I've been sitting with my imposter syndrome. I think that, like I have the evidence that I can help other men because I'm doing it and yet when I get into that imposter syndrome which so many of us know, we're trying something new. We're trying on a new body suit, like it's not always going to fit perfect at the start because it's new to us. But I turn right to. I get that voice in my head. Like you are bipolar, chris. What happens when you're in a low, chris? What happens when you're in a low?

Chris Vandeventer 13:35

You know, we just went through it, me and you. We just went through a 12-week leadership and coaching program together and through those 12 weeks I probably went through two pretty heavy lows. They were more based on external. You know, I had a business um that wasn't working out well. I had some family stuff. Those external factors hit me really hard and I had a couple weeks of lows and I still showed up, like that has been when.

Chris Vandeventer 14:13

I'm sure we're going to get more into this, but that has played a huge role in my transformation. Like taking the. No matter what's going on for you, just show up, like sometimes I can show up and run a half marathon. Like sometimes I run 100 kilometers a week I don't know what that is in miles, sorry, uh. And you know I work out at six days a week and I feel fucking great. And other times it's like all right, can you get on this, this coaching call for an hour and go for a walk today and that's what you're gonna do. But I'm getting rid of the, the beating myself up aspect, and turning to more, a more compassionate approach and and it is truly remarkable to see that transformation in the 12 weeks that we were.

Alex Lange 15:11

We were through going through those courses and you and I mentioned this to you before we got on the call. But when I say thriving with this condition, I am fully aware that there's not always going to be highs right, it's like hills but understanding that, your coping mechanisms, the people you put yourself around, the things that you do to take care of yourself when you're having those lows, to have more highs than lows is what I mean by that. And when you were talking, something that came to mind to me I was getting my haircut today and I was overhearing two women talking. Well, one woman was talking about her husband and that he was, he was very depressed, he just learned that he's not going to be able to work again and that, you know, he's just going through a hard time. And I sat there and I was just listening and listening and I was like man, what is the? What is the best thing for that?

Alex Lange 16:15

That man, any man and it initially came to mind and you said it right we cannot do this alone. The time of the lone wolf is no longer there, surrounding yourself with other men doing the work is going to help you grow and help you understand what you're going through, and and so I want to I want to go back and highlight something that you mentioned earlier, because I really do think that it's something that helps you. You talked about your expressive, expressive nature, and I just love it when I see it on Instagram. Tell me how poetry and your, your creative side, has helped you navigate through this.

Chris Vandeventer 17:00

Yeah, so good question. First of all, like, totally agree, we can't do this alone. I experienced that. I'm amazed that I made a little bit of progress on my own, but it was very incomplete. I could make progress during my highs, when I was alone, I felt a bit of pride false pride in being a lone wolf. But when I got back to those lows it was right back to the bottom because I didn't have anyone to help support me. And so I totally agree with that.

Chris Vandeventer 17:36

Um, I was a closeted poet until about two years ago. I denied the idea that I could have some creative energy in me because, uh, I was too busy trying to fit a label of what I thought a real man was. And I got to the point where I felt such a calling. I couldn't ignore it anymore. I had written this poem about masculinity and I needed to share it, and as soon as I shared it once, it was terrible, was terrible. I was shaking. I hadn't done public speaking before. Um, it only took a few people of telling me like the world needs to hear this. You understand that right, um, and so I was able to challenge myself to the point of like. At that point I didn't know what it would do for me, but I told myself, well, if the world needs to hear this, if there's men that need to hear this, I need to do that service of putting it out there. And then, once I started sharing poetry on social media especially my spoken word poetry and realized it was creating connection, like I'd have people message me about what it meant for me, for them. We'd start having conversations about it. I'd get to reveal more parts of myself. They'd reveal parts of them. Conversations about it. I'd get to reveal more parts of myself, they'd reveal parts of them. Uh, we'd come together in the idea of wanting to make this a safer, more lovable world. I would feel a high that didn't hurt anyone, a high that had no negative consequences, um, high that was forming connection with myself and others.

Chris Vandeventer 19:45

And since then I leaned into poetry. I started writing every day. Uh, when I'm feeling good, I write about the things I wonder, my curiosities in the world. When I'm feeling low, I write about how terrible I feel, and it just, it's a tool to, like, get some of this emotion moving, to get something out of me. Sometimes it sounds really cool. That's just the plus. Now it's like I write to keep my emotions moving, to keep analyzing where I'm at and to keep working on balancing myself. And then sometimes it comes out and it's like, oh, that sounds cool. Okay, now I've got a poem, now I got something I'm going to share with the world and I've been honored by how it's being received. So much, so much positivity, um, so many people that are, for whatever reason, I'm truly humbled. For whatever reason, people um resonate with the words that come out of my mouth and, uh, I feel more connected when that happens.

Alex Lange 20:56

I can tell you this from firsthand experience like you impacted my life by your poetry. I remember when we first met each other and we were going through this and I started following you on Instagram. I didn't know how powerful just getting your thoughts on a piece of paper were and I started to do poetry myself, and I have some poetry that I haven't published to the world. There's some that I did, but I realize when I don't write or I don't get those thoughts out, I don't feel as well as when I do, and then just the power of that speaks volumes.

Alex Lange 21:38

I have videos, just like you know, watching your videos of doing poetry and how. I remember when I first did those videos how shaky I was, but then afterwards I was like, ah, I feel so good, I started to scream more on camera. You know I love your you. You taught me the just let it out, right. So the big lions roar yeah, I guess I say all that, not not for a plug, but I I mentioned this to you earlier, but you're having a creative writing class June 12th that you, it's free, you're open to the public, they can sign up on your Instagram and that's when you're going to really dive deeper into your poetry.

Chris Vandeventer 22:25

Yeah, yeah, for sure, I'm just uh, I'm very excited for it. I'm going to be sharing one of the techniques that I use often, um, for when I have a feeling I don't know what to do with, or a memory I don't know what to do with, anxiety I don't know what to do with, I've got a simple technique that I use to write it all down and sometimes, uh, if we're honored enough, it's, it turns into a poem, which is awesome, and it's like. People don't need a creative baseline, they just have to bring themselves. That's it. And this, a little bit of a willingness to be vulnerable, helps. You can show up, however, however you are well, I know I'm excited to join.

Alex Lange 23:16

Uh, I'm gonna sign up and attend to that and I and I don't want to get too much off topic, because poetry does have a play into what you do now with your coaching and things of that nature tell me what you do. So so I know we haven't got to the question of, like, what did you do to shift the narrative, but I want to know what do you do to cope now, like, so, let's, let's, let me, let me take back. What did you do to cope before, uh, poetry, and before surrounding yourself with other men and things of that nature?

Chris Vandeventer 23:51

uh, I didn't. Before that happened, I didn't have a great coping system. Um, I was learning to create more wholeness in my life. I have a phrase I go by seek. Seek the goodness in every day. Seek is an acronym s-e-e-C-C. Sleep, eat, exercise, create, connect. That's a way to take, remind myself, to take care of myself, and so that has really helped me on a day-to-day basis.

Chris Vandeventer 24:28

I got to the point where I knew if I was low enough, I had to go to the crisis center to drop in and talk to a counselor, and I was going to therapy regularly. And this long process of transformation took a giant step when I met Traver Boehm and I joined a men's community, cause there was this whole, this piece that was missing the whole time I was healing myself. I went to a wellness retreat about four years ago, around the same time after this diagnosis, and I remember sitting in a big circle and seeing a man about my father's age cry like a baby and bawl his eyes out, and I was so uncomfortable. Half of it was I was feeling through empathy. I was feeling half of feeling broken. I was feeling six years old. The other half of the discomfort was like because it wasn't normal for me.

Chris Vandeventer 25:46

I could count on one hand how many times I'd see a grown man cry in my life. I was like what this happened? I was so uncomfortable with the idea of that. I was like get me out of here. Fast forward. Four years later I'm now in a men's community. I'm getting on calls with other men a few times a week. Sometimes I cry, sometimes they cry that piece. That men's community has saved my life in a whole new level.

Embracing Change and Self-Care

Alex Lange 26:25

So let's, let's talk about that for for a second. And this leads to my next question. At what point did you say enough is enough? I need to shift the narrative and change the outcome of my life.

Chris Vandeventer 26:41

That's a good question. I said that a few times Doesn't always work right away. I've written that chaos and change both start the same. I've written that chaos and change both start the same. So sometimes, when we're in absolute chaos, that's when the change becomes most necessary. That's when we really get the chance to look at ourselves in the mirror and go you got to do something about this. Go, who you got to do something about this? I was constantly coming back to a place of being suicidal, of contemplating if I try to live another day or if I give into these suicidal thoughts, and I was in a point of chaos when I ask maybe, like, maybe, this isn't the question I want to be facing every day. Maybe I want to be convincing myself constantly, providing myself with evidence of why my life is worth living, instead of sitting with the question is it worth living or not?

Chris Vandeventer 28:01

I'm gonna take a stance here I'm gonna say it is worth living and I'm gonna start providing myself with reasons to back that up. Um, that, and jumping into vulnerability. People ask me sometimes, how can you do that? Where they say I could never do something like that. That's like the scariest thing in the world to me is like stepping up on a stage which I've done sometimes or getting behind the camera and speaking your like true, deepest self. That's's terrifying. How could you do that? I'm like, yeah, it is terrifying. That's the scariest thing for me too. I got told once if you want to feel alive, do what truly scares you. So that's what I'm doing. I'm not doing this because it's easy. So I'm like oh, it's easy for me to get up on stage. It's easy for me to spit out all these terrifying things about myself, the shameful things I've done in my life. I'm doing this because it helps me feel more alive. If you had one piece of advice and I know this is a tough question.

Alex Lange 29:12

But if you had one piece of advice and I know this is a tough question, but if you had one piece of advice for uh, for yourself four years ago, or anybody else that's going through bipolar two disorder, what would it be?

Chris Vandeventer 29:37

slow down, slow down, uh, the of all the self-care tools that we often hear exercise like. I try to exercise daily, as an amazing fact. Eat healthy food, create connections, talk about it all these positive things. Uh, meditation is what I have felt the most um, drawn away from, like I don't want to do that, and it has been the most helpful there's a saying that I that I tell people where there's resistance there's growth, right.

Alex Lange 30:32

And. And I expand even more and say with growth comes connection, connection to self, and with connection to self comes happiness. And I always remind myself when something is like, when I feel that resistance, I try to open up. I look inward and I try to open up even more because I feel like that's the biggest opportunity for growth.

Chris Vandeventer 30:59

I completely agree with that. And coming yeah, coming back to the meditation, it's like I I'm a I've gone through periods of deep isolation in my life and I am a naturally person, naturally person of solitude. I like to spend a lot of time by myself when I'm feeling good and bad, um, and so I'm like, why would I want to meditate and just sit alone with my thoughts? I'm with my thoughts all the time. When I do it with intention, like you're saying, I'm like going into that, going deeper into that, and then I sit with my thoughts and I start observing them in meditation, all like I fight through that anxiety that's telling me to stop. And then sometimes it just slows right down and all of a sudden I can actually observe my thoughts, I can see them without applying guilt or shame, I can better understand myself, gain self-awareness.

Chris Vandeventer 32:02

Oh, this is why I'm acting this way, this is why I'm doing this. What do I really want here? I just need to slow down, and that seems so hard sometimes when I'm frantic, when we're in a high, and we just want that momentum to keep going and keep going. If we don't slow ourselves down, life will Sometimes. We got to learn it the hard way. I keep learning it the hard way. Sometimes we got to learn it the hard way. I keep learning it the hard way. So to lean in to that discomfort? When I'm on my own to just sit down and meditate, let my thoughts slow down.

Alex Lange 32:55

It's. The growth is immeasurable. What do you do now to cope? You shifted the narrative. You've taken back I use the term taken back your life. You surrounded yourself with this men's group, which I am a firm believer in. I'm full on board. I got the tattoo. I go to all those, try to get as many retreats as I can. You know like I'm with you man like trevor boehm, if you're listening and you're trying to look for a movement, the uncivilized nation is the movement that I I really encourage you to look into. It's not for all, but it's something that people should look into. Tell me what you do to cope now when you're, when you feel like you're having a down day.

Chris Vandeventer 33:40

Mm. Hmm, yeah, the that man's community has been so helpful for me. I do have, like the last stronger low, larger low I had a few weeks ago. I still I lost a day or two sitting in my in my pain, sitting in my darkness alone, not moving through it. Um, but that time the first thing I did was reached out to a guy that I'd met through the uncivilized nation and got on a call and we talked about this, uh, this pain. We related over the feeling that there's a black hole in me, something that I cannot fill, and accepting that.

Chris Vandeventer 34:37

Um, so now, when I'm sitting at home and my emotions are overwhelming me, uh, and I can't find the words, I turn to physical exercise and go for a run. I do 100 push-ups, um, when I'm feeling so low, like, the effect that my mental health struggles have on me is that sometimes I can do 100 push-ups in a day and, like I said, sometimes I can barely get out of bed. So I'm reasonable with that, and other times it's going for a walk because that's what I'm capable of, but I know I still need to get that physical exercise. I reach out to people Generally now it's men because I have that safe space. I exercise and I write. The first thing I ever wrote in a journal when I was 18, and I heard that writing helps you better analyze your thoughts. The first words I wrote down where I want to kill myself, and by the end of the page I wanted to kill myself a little bit less. Nothing had changed.

Alex Lange 35:47

I was just getting it out energy in motion, emotions keep moving, slow down and keep going that's the biggest thing that I've learned, uh, recently is when I'm when I'm frustrated or, like you mentioned, like you just don't know what you know, like how to get it out, I've resorted to pushups. And I've resorted to why I'm doing pushups. Like I just grunt, like, and I know that my wife has looked at me and she's like what the hell are you doing? But I can do a lot more pushups. Try this at home, if you're listening, and I encourage you to do it, chris. Like, when you're doing push-ups, just grunt and and I'm telling you, you're gonna be able to do more push-ups than you would. You would think, and when you're done, you're, you're feeling amazing, you're feeling better. I'll use the term better, right, because everybody feels something different, but I feel like you feel better because you just got some built-up energy, like you said, out of your body yeah, I'll get into it.

Chris Vandeventer 36:59

I'll do the grunts for sure.

Alex Lange 37:01

I'll let you know how it goes so I I haven't done this with my other two guests, but I'm gonna. I'm just going off the cusp here I'm. I just talk for a minute, two minutes, about anything that you want could be mental health related. I just want to give you the floor on anything that you'd like to address that's a good question, man.

Chris Vandeventer 37:29

Uh, yeah, I was mentioning slow down and keep going and there's so much confusion in that to some people it seems like a contradiction. Finding balance. We're talking about all these little self-care things, of doing push-ups, self-care things, of doing push-ups or getting some exercise or journaling a little bit, and we hear these things over and over and over again. When, when you're first looking for change, when you're in chaos, when you're struggling and you go out and you start looking in to, um, personal development, self-growth and stuff and I used to get so frustrated it's like I need change, like I need transformation, and you're asking for all these little things and, um, it's hard to get through to someone like to Alex from nine months ago when he's facing all these massive life challenges. And it's like we'll just do some push-ups, just do some writing, because it's the continuity of these little things that are going to create the transformation. Like we've talked about specific moments, I've talked about getting diagnosed, I'm talking about seeing another man cry for one of the first times, um, meeting a person. That has had a massive effect. But it's the continuation of all these little things that allow us to see transformation over time, because I'm still the same person. I'm still the person that struggles. I still get to the points of feeling so low that I'm like I don't know what to do. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I feel disconnected, I don't feel worthy of change.

Chris Vandeventer 39:24

And doing these little things over time help us get through those big periods, those dark periods. Um, it's just such a common thing we talk about all these times, these transformational moments, but those transformational moments would be nothing if I went back to doing the same daily habits that I had been doing before. I had to change to the little things, and that's why it's for me, it's slow down and keep going, because it's not like have this big experience and then your life changes forever. It's have this big experience. Go back to focusing on what you can control daily, these small things, these responses rather than reactions, doing push-ups instead of taking it out on a loved one. Like those little things that build up, that create our transformations. They don't just happen.

Alex Lange 40:24

We have to create them over time yeah, and I I tie this back everything that we, that the way we we react to things, is conditioned behavior, and so, like that, the great thing about conditioned behavior is that it can be, it can be done, undone, right, and so when what I take away from what you said consistency over time equals trust shout out to Robert Wunderlich for that quote time equals trust Shout out to Robert Wunderlich for that quote and that you have the ability to play with what you're dealing with, to undo the conditions that were put on you. And I think that, like you said, sitting with yourself, understanding what you're going through and and doing those little things, you're still you, but you're transforming over that, that period of time exactly tell me, or we'll tell the listeners, how can they get in touch with you.

Alex Lange 41:34

So I know you're doing this june 12th poetry class. Let's talk about that, the master class.

Chris Vandeventer 41:41

Talk about how they can reach out to you, if, if, what, your message resonated with them, how they could get on a phone call with you, etc well, first of all, I will tell you, alex, that if you need to get a hold of me, you've got my number and you can call me anytime, absolutely because I'm, because I'm with you and I've got your back I appreciate you.

Alex Lange 42:07

I appreciate you brother and for people listening.

Chris Vandeventer 42:13

Uh, if you've resonated at all with this conversation, um, yeah, the next big thing is my self-growth poetry workshop on june 12th, like you mentioned. Uh, you can read, it's free. You can register through it, through my website, wwwbecomingchristophercom, or through my instagram, which is at becoming Christopher.

Chris Vandeventer 42:35

If you're a man, specifically, or anyone listening that is near the beginning of their journey diving into self-growth and you're wondering who to follow, I would suggest to follow the people that you resonate with the most, that you feel the most emotion around.

Chris Vandeventer 43:00

Not necessarily the people that it's like, well, they seem to be saying the right things, um, because it's easy to drone out the right things, but when you find a person that is meeting you where you're at, that you check out their content and you feel what they're going through and it can help you along your path. Um, that's where I think that you're gonna, that we're gonna be able to stick with it. Yeah, following people that you resonate with that bring emotion out in you, based around good intentions of healing and learning more about ourselves, I think, is the bigger focus, rather than just like becoming our own therapist. Learning all the right things, all the right things. That's how I think that we can be on our path and keep moving forward, because we have to enjoy ourselves along the journey, absolutely, and I just want to put this out there as well.

Men's Authenticity Journey and Growth

Alex Lange 44:08

I just want to say I thank you because you've inspired me just from our, our short time being together. If everything that you put out resonates everything that you just being you and being authentic, being vulnerable has inspired me to, to really open up and share my story and reach out to other men to share their stories. That's what a man's journey was. What came about was because I wanted to. I wanted to really hear other men's stories on how they shifted from being unconscious to conscious, so to speak. Uh, and there's the journey along the way. It's not always highs and it's it's not always lows, but what they did, what you did, to be able to live a better, authentic, fulfilled life, and I just want to say thank you for that and thank you for coming on the show.

Chris Vandeventer 45:03

Yeah, thank you so much. Like seeing the part of your journey that I've been seeing honors me, and the point where you've got this podcast now, where you're going to be introducing the people that are making an impact on your life. I'm so thankful to be just one man walking alongside you on your journey and, uh, I'm gonna keep watching you grow. I'm gonna keep growing into myself more, being more and more authentic. Uh, I don't know exactly where that leads me, but I know I'm on the path.

Alex Lange 45:38

I love you brother.

Chris Vandeventer 45:40

Love you too, brother. Thank you so much.

Alex Lange 45:42

Thank you.