A Man's Journey Next Generation: What Makes A Great Dad And Son Team

What makes a great dad and son team? We open that question with Grayson, my oldest, by tracing a 96-mile Camino de Santiago walk that became a rite of passage, a test of grit, and a masterclass in showing up for each other. From numbered bunks and foggy climbs to tears by a train track and a hard last mile, the story moves from playful details—blue hair and borrowed espresso—to the deeper truth that love looks like going one more step, together.

I share why I chose the Camino when Grayson turned ten and how a planned twelve days became six intense ones. We unpack the real moments that forge trust: sitting down in the dirt when your kid breaks down, admitting you hurt too, and choosing to carry the next few meters side by side. Grayson names what matters most to him—wrestling in the living room, showing up at games, hiking, surfing, being silly—and we translate that into a simple blueprint for fatherhood: play often, listen first, and keep the agenda light so a child’s voice can lead.

We also talk about grief after losing his brother and how movement helped us feel without getting stuck. Surfing big sets, failing to punch through, trying again—these small acts of courage shaped a stronger body and a steadier heart. Along the way, we recall another storm-soaked trek, rangers rerouting us off a flooded path, and the comedy of drying clothes with a hairdryer until it melted. The thread that ties it together is presence. Not perfection. Not performance. Presence.

If this conversation stirs something, send a message you’ve been holding back. Tell your son what you’re proud of. Ask your dad for more of what brings you together. Then hit follow, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more fathers and sons can find their way here.

Transcript

Opening And Core Themes

SPEAKER_01 0:05

There comes a moment in every man's life when he realizes he's been living someone else's story, doing what he was told, carrying what he never questioned, surviving instead of living. But then something shifts. There's a deeper call. A whisper that says, come home to yourself. Welcome to a man's journey podcast. This is a space for all men. Fathers, sons, leaders, dreamers, men who are rising, men who are healing, men who are ready for more. We go beneath the surface here. We talk about identity, grief, masculinity, legacy, and purpose. The real stuff that shapes us, breaks us, and makes us whole. We're not here to perform. We're here to remember, to reconnect, to live fully, authentically, and heart centered. I'm Alex Lang, a father, traveler, speaker, writer, and a man who's walked through the fire of loss, love, and transformation. And this podcast is an invitation for you to walk your own journey, not alone, but together. Let's begin. Welcome back to a man's journey podcast. Today, we are continuing forward with our next generation series. You heard recently me doing a podcast with my oldest son, Grayson, and my nephew Easton. And we talked about doing a 12-part series, something that's fun, that's creative, that we'll see where the conversations go. So today I have on my oldest son, Grayson. Grayson, how are you doing, brother?

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Good.

Introducing Grayson

SPEAKER_01 1:57

I'm doing good, man. I'm gonna I'm gonna hit him with a couple curveballs here because I didn't prepare him at all. So this is this is interesting. I told him, hey, let's do a podcast. Let's continue with what we want to do. But I'm gonna just be the keeper of the topic and see how he just flows. What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Are you are you excited?

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Yeah, I'm nervous.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

A little nervous? Yeah. What are you going through your head right now?

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Um trying to think who I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Okay. Grayson has blue hair right now. You can't see it. I didn't do video of this, but him and his siblings are going through a hair dyeing phase, not with real hair dye, but with Crayola washable markers. So has that been fun?

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Yeah, I have blue hair though. Just like my surfboard.

Defining A Great Dad

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Blue surfboard, I like it. So today, the episode we're gonna talk about, that I the topic we're gonna talk about is what makes a great dad and son? What makes a great dad and son combo team? So this is fun. We're just gonna have fun with it. I want you to share with me what you believe makes a great father.

Camino Rites Of Passage

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Oh what I think is a great father is like when they like play with you and like go on ma uh men trips or like uh go hiking, or like when me and my dad walked the camino, that was fun. That's like that's like a a great father. And um like say they want to go surf with you or um they like uh play so the ball was you like a football or when they watch you play soccer and and then oh my favorite part is when my dad wrestles with me and tickles me, he just comes out of nowhere and just starts grabbing me and I'm like all the rough and stuff rough stuff, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Yeah. Uh you know it's what I like about hearing you say that you said uh you really enjoyed the Camino trip. Oh yeah. So let's talk about that for a second. Talk you those that don't know us and what we did, what did we do?

SPEAKER_00 4:19

Well after a long uh bus ride on the Flicks bus, on the green one, uh we got to this little like house, like a a pilgrimage. And the first day we um it's like a cobblestone road. So without our backpacks, we went and go like explored like this city and we like walk next to the uh the like big lake and we were um talking with uh our my mom and my s and my siblings at the same time while we were walking. And then like when it started getting dark, we went back and the beds had numbers on them, and they had like a blue, uh a blue sh uh like uh soft uh cushion and then you had your blanket and and there was a window right in uh like in front of you. And when in the morning we got up at like five, we started walking, and we went to this trail, and then this garden was here, and then we went up this mountain for like half an hour and it was like vertical, and we were like climbing, and then it got foggy at some point, and then I ran I went too ahead and I couldn't see my dad.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

You ran up and you were you acted like we had gotten lost.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

I remember that.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

But I it wasn't it wasn't foggy enough for like if I walked a few steps in front of you, we wouldn't see each other.

Pushing Through Pain Together

SPEAKER_01 5:44

So July of 2024, last year, we went, we were traveling the world. We were a full-time travel family at the time, and it was a dream of mine to take you on the Camino because you were turning 10 years old, and we and I wanted to start this rites of passage for you of what it meant to be a man, trans transitioning from a young man to an adult, right? And this was the beginning of it. And so that was, and I had initially planned, if you remember, I had initially planned for us to do that 12 days.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

How many days did we do it in?

SPEAKER_00 6:24

We walked so many miles, we did it in six days.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Yeah, you so you walk six, we we walked for six days straight. How many miles did we walk?

SPEAKER_00 6:34

Uh, so first like the first few days, I think three days it was, the first three days, we walked like 13, 9, and then like 13 miles again. And then the last three days we walked like 18, 20, and then like a 21 miles. And in one of them, my dad was gonna about to stop to pay so we can like stay the day there. But I'm like, no, let's just walk the rest six of the six miles. He's like, okay, I guess we're walking it. And it we was we were so tired, and we were going up the mountain, and then we were going back down, and then we got to the other place.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Yeah, no, I that was that was a challenging day. I was I was really I didn't say this to you, but I was like, man, let's just stay here. I'm ready to stop. And you I remember we we had eight, we stopped to eat at like 2 p.m. And you were like, let's do it, dad. Let's let's move forward, let's finish in uh I forgot the city name, but it was it was uh another trek. But collectively, for those six days, we walked about 96 miles, 96 miles, and I was so proud of you. I remember the last mile, it was the hardest, I think it was the hardest for you.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

I was crying. I was like, God, I want to stop, I want mom.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

I want mom, I want to give up. And I'm like, Grayson, this is so it's like you're at the finish line and you're about to give up. Like you can see the cathedral.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

You can see you were in the city.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

I was like, oh I remember the last that that last stretch, I I did something that I don't normally do with you, and I was like, look, you can you can have a cappuccino or a espresso. I said, push through it, let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Because of like it was like the second day, my dad got two shots of a uh espresso, and I thought one of them was for me. I just grabbed that thing and I was and then everybody in this coffee shop looked at me and was like, and everybody started laughing because I just grabbed. I was like, What and I was running like crazy on the canoe, I wouldn't stop running.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Yeah, no, it was it was amazing to see the effects of the that espresso on you because you you legit that was like a secondary charge.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

We ran up and we scared uh Megan. We were we were running, and then um she heard it in her book because she said she was listening to a scary book, I think. And then she heard footsteps, she thought it was a book, and then when I when I went, she got so scared, and she was like, No.

Surfing, Grit, And Growth

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Yeah, yeah, I do remember that. So I want to real quick, I wanna we're gonna transition off of the Camino, but I want to ask you a question about that. When you look back at those six days, so we talked about to you what do you believe makes a good father? And you talked about all these things, and you said, Oh, doing men's trips, and you mentioned the Camino. Within the Camino, what was one of the most challenging times? Like what what do you remember? What stood out for you and that experience?

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Going up that mountain. Wait, no. That mountain. Probably like when we were near the train track.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

So when we were in the woods, we were near a train track. Continue.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

And uh we were going well, remember when it was rainy and we kept going up the mountain, and I was like, I don't want to do anymore. And you're like, just let's go, let's go. And I was like, okay, but then I started actually like started like stopping because on the train track. I was like, I don't want to do it anymore.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Yeah, so you you I remember that you were we passed the train track, we crossed over, we were in the woods, and you just broke down. You started crying, and you said, I don't want to do this anymore. Do you remember what I did? You don't remember? I just sat down next to you. I sat down on the floor next to you.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

And you carried and you like carried my backpack but that for too long.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Well, yeah, I mean I helped you a little bit, but I I remember, this is what I remember. I don't I don't know what you remember, but I sat there and I looked at you and I said, Look, I am in pain with you. I am having a hard time too. But what's gonna help us get through this is that we're doing it together.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Yeah, and then we walked. So that was the last question.

Another Trek And Stormy Detour

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Well, that was that was the question with with Camino. I I wanted to first just share with you, because this is what is it what makes a great dad and son? And I think for myself, the more that I am doing this father thing with you, right? You're my oldest. So you have to think there's a there's a concept I I have for myself. I have never been a 12-year-old dad, like a dad that's had a 12-year-old. I've never been a dad that's had a 13-year-old, so on and so forth. So with you, you're my first child that I'm experiencing everything for the first time. And I love what I'm so grateful for about being your father is that you show me new parts of myself every day. I don't always get it right. My delivery is not always the best. I sometimes am hard on you, sometimes I'm a little soft on you. But one thing that I really enjoy is being able to. You're very similar to me. We have a lot of similarities. The way we are in the world, our our what we like, how we operate, our brains, how we're thinking all over the place. We're very similar. So you are showing me parts of myself that I never got to see before. When I was younger. So I I enjoy that. I enjoy learning from you every single day. I love to see you push yourself and challenge yourself all the time.

Advice To Sons And Fathers

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Yeah, like the but it was like two days ago, the waves are like 10 feet tall. And I try and paddle out of what I I had a shot to get out there, but like having experience, I've I've every time I'm like, I'm gonna get out there, it always ends up with some a wave just like landing right on me. And like in those hard times, like I had a shot, I knew I could get out, but I just stopped paddling and I didn't. My friend, he he just paddled straight, he made it out, but I didn't I didn't want to go out.

Closing Reflections And CTA

SPEAKER_01 13:30

I think about that when you talk about that, I'm like, man, I I never did any of those things in my childhood. So when I see you out there surfing, and when I see you doing all these extracurriculars, and dude, you were so ripped and so in shape compared to me when I was your age. I your mom and I were talking about that last night. She's like, Grayson's so ripped. And I'm like, you know what's so funny is when I was his age, I didn't even look like that. I didn't have the the strong, you know, the the the definition, the back definition, the six-pack, the legs, everything. I was like, man, and it's because you just you put yourself, you're doing things that you love. You're filling your cup. Yeah. I don't know if you remember this, because it was a couple, it was a couple months ago. But when we started this podcast, we were talking about losing your brother Liam. And one of the things that I really love, what you how you've handled yourself as we've lost our someone in our family, is that you've really found things that you love to do. You've felt it, you've you're doing things that you love to do to help you be a better version of yourself. And just from my experience of talking with older men and my own experience with grief and losing your brother, a lot of people that pain, that emotional pain is paralyzing. You get stuck. And you've you've allowed you've you've created a space to where you're moving forward as we navigate these times. So I wanted to I wanted to talk about what does it mean to be a great dad and son combo because I'm curious about your thoughts and you told me what it means to to to be a great dad, what it means to you. What I asked you now already.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

You're messing up this mind.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

No, I'm not. What? Oh give me a second.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

Yeah, talk about something else while you're at it. We walk at the BF and T chida.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Oh yeah, we walked at the comito and we walked at the BF and T chida. With cadence live and it was like 70 it was like 75 miles. I f I felt like that one was easier than the old comito.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

I think that it had less less hills, hills, like less inclines.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

I'll walk that way.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

But I think both had their own they had their own challenges.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Oh yeah, like from a through well, we're we're walking like we're walking like I think it was a path that you said it was the right way, but then the police came and told us you can't go that way, the path is flooded, and they like took us to our place, but then they told you that was the wrong way, and you didn't you couldn't have gone that way.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

Yeah. Uh well it was the right way. What had what we encountered was it was raining.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Really bad.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Really bad. And we had already been in the we're we were on the walk for I think like seven or eight miles, if you remember. And there was no lodging. There's no lodging for another eight miles. So we had to walk through. I was like, hey, we're we have no place to stay until this point. We have to find, we have to continue forward. And it just started getting worse and worse and worse until the point where uh Rangers, they passed us on the road and they told us And then they came back. Yeah, they they came back and they told us that the trail that that led to the next city where the lodging was was underwater because of the downpour. But you, your brother, and your sister, you were troopers. You guys were having fun.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Yeah, well, my dad, like, but she just were oh, we were troopers, I like Star Wars, like cold troopers.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

You guys were soaked. I remember you're like, I'm cold, but it's okay, dad. We're gonna get through it.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

Yeah, I was like, I'm cold, but it's fun, ready to the rain. And when we got to the place, everything in the backpack was it was just soaked. We had to dry out our clothes. And my dad said, Okay, you guys can watch something because we it was in the rain, and it w we cut the like video, like the TV. It didn't have any movies, so we had to go on YouTube to watch like Star Wars.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

And my dad's like, be careful, don't watch and blow dry your clothes because um I almost caught one of my clothes on fire because I left it in the same spot, and I was like, Yeah, we were we were blow drying clothes because the the Airbnb that we had didn't have any water like dryer, and the rain had got everything wet. So they had a blow dryer, and I used it for hours up until the point I used it until it died, it melted the plastic on the outside and it stopped working. So I left money. I'd let the I let the owner know, hey, I broke your your hairdryer. Here's money. I left them 20 euros, but I don't think that's enough. Well, no, it's I don't know. I think it's more than enough. But I wanna I want to close this podcast episode uh and uh with a question. I want to ask you a question. We we're gonna have many more podcast episodes. So this question that I have for you is if you have any advice for other su kids out there, sons, right? Because we're talking about father-sons.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

With it with regards to our conversation, what advice would you give them?

SPEAKER_00 19:42

I mean have fun. Have fun with your dads and your family. Like live happy, like while you live with your dad, because one day you're gonna grow up and you're gonna go live your own life. So, like, you gotta live it all with your parents now. Like, even in the hard times when you're mad at your parents because they did something, you know, every time at the end of the day, you're gonna come back for them and you're gonna give them a hug because you love them and they take care of you.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

I love that. I wanna say that first of all, you know, with you, one thing that I've I've tried to cultivate is tell me what you like, what you like about our relationship or what what really makes you happy and connected to me so we can do more of it. So if you if you're a father that's listening to this, I would say that have these conversations with your kids, with your son and or daughter, and ask them what it is they like to do with you. No agenda. And what I mean by that is it's not what you want to do, what they want to do. And there's things I know I know in our relationship where I'm like, hey, you're doing this, like we're gonna do this together. Like the f the fr the Camino, that didn't come from you, that came from me. And at first you were like, Oh, I don't know if I want to do it, Dad.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

But then I yeah, I got on the bus.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

After afterwards, you were like, Oh, that's amazing. I want to do it more. I wanna do more things like that with you.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Yeah, we should actually do it again. I wanna do the I wanna do uh, what is it, the Camino, but like uh like do a different round and do it longer. Oh, you know what? I want to do it again? Because one time we were we had a I bought a pen that was green, and I loved the pen. And it was when I would write my notes when we were on the Camino, and we stopped by this big highway in the wall and there was this big like cement block that went up to support the road, and we saw millions of drawings and names on it, and I wrote maybe not millions, but thousands. Yeah, thousands.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Yeah, it was a lot.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

It was a lot, and then we went up and then we like down and they were all scrunched, and I wrote my name on there, and I'm like, it's gonna be there when we come back because it's like under something, like unless it breaks, and I wrote Star Wars and Cloud Tapers, and I'm pretty sure I um I wrote Liam too on that. And that was when he was live, and that we left, and then I was like, Oh, I really wanna go back. So, like, let's see, what is it, like a year later? It's been a year about.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

It's been a year. Uh July of 2024 is when we went. So it's been a year.

unknown 22:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

We gotta make it back, dear.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

I love it. So if you liked this podcast, I would I would appreciate it if you know a father, son, someone that could benefit from it. If you are listening to this podcast and it resonates with you, I want you to take a moment today to say something that maybe you've been holding back. If you're a son to your son, to your daughter, uh, vice versa. You know, if if you're a son, tell your dad what you appreciate about your time with him, what you want more of. And tell your son, fathers, what you're proud of, what you're learning from them, because tilt children are our teachers if we allow them the ability to. I appreciate you, brother.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Appreciate you, Dad.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

Man, I love you, man. Until next time.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

Thank you for listening to a man's journey podcast. These conversations aren't just stories, they're reminders that we're not alone, that there's power in showing up, that growth doesn't require perfection, only presence. If this episode moved you, challenged you, or lit something up inside you, share it with a brother, a friend, or a man who needs to hear it. And remember, you were never meant to do this alone. The journey back to yourself is the most courageous path you'll ever walk. But it's one worth taking. Until next time, keep walking, keep feeling, keep becoming.