The Wisdom We Share Podcast

Discipline, Healing & Ocean Depths: The Journey of Matthew Biancaniello

• Anjani Amriit & Robin Wald • Season 1 • Episode 7

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Message us with your thoughts, burning questions, or reflections, we’d love to hear from you.

In this powerful episode of The Wisdom We Share, we dive into the extraordinary journey of Matthew Biancaniello, chef, ultra-marathon ocean swimmer, creative alchemist, and soulful father.

From overcoming childhood trauma and addiction to redefining the art of cocktails with wild botanicals and foraged ingredients, Matthew shares how discipline, nature, and daily ritual have become his pathway to healing and transformation.

He opens up about his deeply personal struggles, the spiritual lessons found in ultra-marathon swimming, and how he's now using his energy to raise funds for purpose-driven causes.

Expect raw vulnerability, profound insights, and stories that will challenge your own ideas about resilience, purpose, and what's truly possible at any age.

You’ll hear about:

- The power of morning rituals and cold water therapy
- Healing through food, nature, and fatherhood
- His personal journey with trauma, eating disorders, and family
- The real difference between calling and purpose
- How he’s redefining alcohol culture with intention

The spiritual practice of ultra-swimming and how discipline equals freedom
Award-Winning Film: RHYTHMS: An Indivisible Marathon Swim

Matthew’s 21-Mile Midnight Swim for Deserving Youth:
On 22 September 2025, Matthew will swim 21 miles from Catalina Island to Palos Verdes to raise $25,000 in support of Indivisible Arts, a nonprofit that empowers underserved youth through mindfulness and creative expression.

Indivisible Arts provides scholarships and holistic tools to young people facing mental health challenges, trauma, or systemic barriers. Funds raised will directly support their curriculum teaching awareness, intention, compassion, and emotional resilience through artistic practices like painting, music, and design.

👉 Donate to the fundraiser:
https://gofund.me/3ba1027f

🔗Connect with Matthew Biancaniello:

Thanks for listening to The Wisdom We Share.
If this episode sparked something in you, follow, leave a review + share it with someone who’s walking a similar path.

🔗 Connect with Anjani

🔗 Connect with Robin

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there was a very big spiritual time with me when I had left New York for the first time and I lived in Santa Barbara I got heavily into scuba diving I got I was just away from it all I read so many different things just this thing Christian Murray that came up recently flight of the Eagle and that that all these things stuck with me and inside of me and I think what happens is you can't take for granted the things that are nurturing you they can come out so much longer or later in your life and I think those things might be dormant for a while but they're there and I think for me I always kept my passion alive with things I think that's what it was is even though I couldn't necessarily act on them they were always there and I was always aware of them if that's if that's if that makes any sense welcome to the Wisdom We Share podcast where ancient truths and modern intelligence weave together to inspire ground and shape us for a wiser awakened life I'm Angela Amrit and I'm Robin Wald and together we bring you fascinating conversations from the worlds of spirituality science and human behavior so you can connect to your own inner wisdom joy and clarity elevating the way you actually live your life all right I am so excited for us to have Matthew Biancanello on our show today Matthew has manifested many professions and adventures throughout his life and I've known Matthew since I'm 17 years old so I'll let listeners do the math on that but long I've known you longer in my life than I haven't right by yeah that's right yeah and I've seen you go through so many different career paths and growth moments and challenges and who you are today I feel is like the very best version of yourself you keep growing and manifesting more and more and you're so inspiring to me I know you're gonna inspire our listener so I'm happy to have you here today absolutely so Matthew is has experienced countless failures and successes but in his most recent journey he's come to find both his calling and his purpose and I've seen that I'm excited to hear more about that today Matthew is the author of Eat Your Drink and is a one of a kind chef cocktail creator and ultra Marathon swimmer he offers adventurous tasting experiences from farm to table using seasonal organic foods unique ingredients and unlikely pairings creating extraordinary tasting sprees coined eat your drink Matthew offers consulting private events classes and leads international culinary tours and when he's not creating or swimming he loves he loves spending time with his 11 year old twin boys especially traveling with them and exploring new places so Matthew welcome to the wisdom we share that's a great intro thank you so much you're so welcome so great to be here thank you Matthew I'm going to dive in because I don't know you from Adam and I'm super keen on on understanding what drives you you're half Italian you're half Greek I'm also half Greek oh wow English yeah wait do you live you live in Australia so do you live in the Greek area of Australia like Melbourne right no no Sydney Sydney Sydney oh OK hmm is Melbourne more Greek or no it's definitely got a lot more Greek people in it yes there's a bigger community there OK and and you lost your Malibu bar in 2018 just as you opened it in the fires there's a lot happened in your life and I just I just wanna start by asking you what is it that drives you and where does your passion come from cause I know for me the Cypriots are super passionate people when it comes to food and and drinking and and getting together what is inside of you that drives you to do all that you do it's an excellent question and I you know I'm always still discovering that I don't know if it's something that is always necessarily right there but I do think that I if I'm half Greek half Italian but I was brought up much more on my Greek side and I really really got to witness my grandparents kind of recreate Greece in Manchester New Hampshire they grew everything in their garden that's really what I attribute my passion to the way that they were about food the way that they were about each other about the community and I think for me me because I've gone through so much there's a resilience that started inside of me and especially in the last five years it was even more devastating and I think also having you know you have twin boys or children at all there's something there's a huge huge huge sense of responsibility and so many different layers of that not just financially taking care of them or taking being but also wanting to be connected to them wanting to be a model for them wanting them to have a a you know they already have a better life than ever they're already further ahead than I ever was you know I just I I just I Learned so much from them and I was just so I was just so lucky to be introduced to nature and to the ocean and all these things when I was younger to travel all these things that I was very very fortunate to be exposed to that are deep inside of me and it's very very interesting because I was looking back you know you talk about the swimming I mean I first bought a book with from this woman who swam Catalina I think her name was Peggy Dean Peggy Lee Dean in 1996 you know I was living in Santa Barbara I was scuba diving at the time I was working for Jacques Cousteau's original producer and I wanted to do that back then I was 28 years old and then I was starting to train for it 12 years later when I was 40 and then I became a bartender then it was impossible and the fact that I'm doing it now seven so now you're going from 96 to almost 30 years later oh Saturn return that's a that's a return that's a return yeah exactly yeah and that that's something that you know I work with Robin you know as a coach and as a friend but it's one of those things that I'm deeply deeply interested in and I think that just being very very aware of my journey and you know what's really interesting I think it was I think it was Joseph Campbell that said this you know he said you know you're gonna look back in your life and you're gonna see that it actually was this orchestra and this thing was being orchestrated for you all along you can't tell when you're going through it but when you you get older which is one of the luxuries of being older you can kind of look back and you start to see these patterns and these connections of what your choices have been and your decisions have been and the things that you've been interested in they're all connected they might not have ended up there but they're all connected and I I was very lucky too when I there was a very big spiritual time with me when I had left New York for the first time and I lived in Santa Barbara I got heavily into scuba diving I got I was just away from it all I read so many different things just this thing Christian Murray that came up recently flight of the Eagle and that that all these things stuck with me and inside of me and I think what happens is you can't take for granted the things that are nurturing you they can come out so much longer or later in your life and I think those things might be dormant for a while but they're there and I think for me I always kept my passion alive with things I think that's what it was is even though I couldn't necessarily act on them they were always there and I was always aware of them if that's if that's if that makes any sense if you're looking for a trusted skillful expert to support your deeper work of self exploration and evolution in your life relationships business or spiritual growth we invite you to reach out anytime this is the deeper work Robin and I love to do beyond the podcast impactful mentorship coaching spiritual guidance astrology in a one on one setting all the links are sitting right there you in the show notes yeah absolutely you said something really powerful you said you can't forget the things that nurture you which says to me that it's likely and I'm using my Spidey senses here as well that you maybe didn't get that growing up that you didn't get the nurturing in ways where you probably or maybe needed it and that that's the thing you cherish now and that that's the thing that you infuse into everything you do absolutely yeah you want to talk a little bit about that yeah absolutely yeah you know my mom was an alcoholic my brother was five years older than I was so I didn't really have a that kind of brotherly relationship my father worked a lot so my grandparents that was my refuge if I didn't have that I don't think I would be the same person you know I think when I remember just being 16 years old it wasn't that I was so religious but I remember being 16 years old and most kids on their spring break would be hanging out and you know drinking and doing stuff and I went to my grandparents house and spent Holy Week there and went to church every night why did they go to church every night cause it was peaceful it was beautiful I loved seeing the roses and the flowers and hearing the music and the you know and when Christ has risen in the the resurrection of Easter just lighting that candle and taking it all the way home and lighting your altar at home so it was the food it was the way they they really had tradition and I don't think that you know that's definitely much more lost today than it ever is but I think that if I didn't have that nurturing and I remember it was really when my grandmother died that's when something really died inside of me you know I don't I don't think I was the same person how old were you when that I was I was kind of old I mean what was I 23 or 24 I can't remember but it was so significant because when she died there was two major things that I loved about it was she used to send me $50 every year for my birthday and I remember I got her letter and card after she died she died two days before my birthday and in the mail came that letter and that $50 or whatever you know and I remember at the wake as well you know I remember it was so dramatic cause I don't think I've ever cried like this again when my grandmother died when we got to the house I took me two hours to get in the house because I could feel feel the feel her and feel the hurt and feel all of that and when we had the wake too I remember I waited for everybody to leave and I took this picture that she loved of mine and I went and I stuck it right under her heart before she went into the coffin so she was in the coffin and I know that that got buried with her you know so it was those kinds of things that was a very very deep connection but yes to to really simply say is that I wouldn't have had I don't think I would be who I am today or at least would have had as many aspirations if I didn't have that nurturing aspect of it because I think I would have been a lot more lost and I think I did get a little bit lost once she died as well for sure I I find that when we have trauma in our life significant trauma we can go either way we can rebel and you know go off the planet or we can dig deep into discipline and our own kind of religion faith spirituality because it's a safe harbor for us like you said it's grounding I mean I definitely relate I was raised in a family of domestic violence and and I'm an incredibly disciplined person so I fully relate to what you're saying and I think a lot of people listening to this will relate as well it makes us very driven it makes us have a certain kind of passion and purpose that people who didn't have that kind of trauma growing up they take things a little bit more lightly they have a lot more fun you know I'm looking at Robin here what do you think well I mean I I say this all the time like I I know and I completely honor that I am super super lucky you know I have so many clients astrology coaching clients and I have to say I'm probably like in the top 5% of like good luck when it comes to the family that I was born into and my childhood right I I'm I'm grateful I didn't experience those kinds of traumas I had loving parents loving grandparents parents who were educators you know this like really charmed kind of upbringing so very different from where you began but I also think that you know at any point anybody in their life when we're faced with real challenge or struggle is when we kind of have to meet ourselves in those dark places and figure out who we are who we wanna become through this crisis and it teaches us a lot about our resilience right and those are the moments where discipline really counts or maybe we lose all discipline and have to hit rock bottom but the way we bring ourselves back so I'm at yeah Matthew sound no no I think and also I just want to say that everybody experiences trauma in life it doesn't have to be some you death or domestic violence or alcohol there's traumas in everybody we all experience that to some degree and I know that for sure just sharing with different people I 100% agree with you though when it comes to trauma what that can do to somebody and on a superficial level or the superficial answers like you know wanting to control something wanting to be you know I'm gonna take care of this but I think it's so much deeper than that because it's it's it's it's also very common which I found too you know I had major back surgery a couple years ago and I think you know I had my L4 and L5 I had a fusion of that a compression I've got four screws in me and I think when you I when I came out in that wheelchair and I could see my kids look at me I was just like god I could either take a left right now or I could take a right and I'm gonna take a right I'm too young you know what I mean and that is what started the whole process of healing because you can have these emotional traumas but the emotional traumas sometimes will manifest in physical traumas in some way and it's so much easier to say to someone oh I'm gonna address this physical trauma I'm gonna I'm gonna heal this I'm gonna put a cast on this I'm gonna do this but it's they're all related so once you really dive into something on a physical level and try to heal that it's inevitable that the emotional and spiritual will come up because you cannot you cannot just there's no such thing as having discipline and just doing it it's all of the doubts come in all of the past comes in all of the things that want to stop you they all come in to those things so that's my experience with that I'm curious tell me about how what LED you to the ultra Marathon swimming so obviously you talked about when you were younger and coming to Santa Barbara and the ocean right so and I know you before you got into the the ocean swimming in the cold and long distance you were doing pool swimming and you were also doing ice plunges but I'm curious like you just spoke about the healing of like diving into the physical but also the emotional how that intertwines and the spiritual tell us about the ultra Marathon swimming and how that kind of has affected or changed you or grown you yeah I mean it's levels it's the No. 1 thing that I'm passionate about right now and that's so important to have in your life at any age wherever what it is and I think for me I always wanted to do it I was interested in it 30 years ago I swam when I was in high school for a couple years and then I was actually I did some triathlons and I was very very good at it and then once I moved to New York and I was in a different space it says you you I just lost that sense of that you know and I know what that is all about now too and so when I got back into it from for me it was just a way to heal so I the only thing I started doing the cold plunging because that's what I needed to do I couldn't really move that much it was something that I was looking into you know there's a lot of benefits from it mostly dopamine when you when you're recovering from an injury the dopamine that you get from that is the high that you can't get from exercise cause you're not exercising and then I got back into swimming it's like I have to do something to feel good and strong again and when I started doing it I realized wow you seem further along than you were 30 years ago like you started to do this and you didn't seem like you seem stronger now for some reason I don't know what that was and then I was like you know what you got you always wanted to do Alcatraz I remember you met you remember my friend Marcus we talked about doing that years ago I'm like you're gonna do Alcatraz and here's the thing you're gonna follow through with this because what happened was is I trained years ago for the New York New York City Marathon and I remember I had I did really well in training I gotten up to 17 miles and just that last month it was so hot in New York and I was so busy and I was like I gave it up and it was so important even though this was just a mile and a half I was just like you're gonna see this through and that's really what all these things are about is when you see something through to the end no matter what that's really what discipline is it's like you're doing this no matter what and I've I've had those moments in my life where something was so important to me or so impassioned I remember like I'm gonna do this no matter what the circumstances are to come and that's what happened so when once I did Alcatraz I did it without a wetsuit and I I think I I mean I couldn't believe how I finished and 200 people didn't finish that was the gateway to all of this and then that's when I said okay you're gonna do Catalina next year and then that's what I've been training for you know I'm about four and a/2 months away and I got a coach and that has changed my life in so many ways because that is true discipline you cannot just show up for a 21 mile swim in the ocean you know you just can't and there's too many elements involved so the discipline that takes and the days that I've had to put into even like last week was a huge breakthrough I had to do speed week and I did six days and I remember I had to swim 6,000 yards you know a little over three miles and I had to do most of that by myself because the people that I swim in the ocean with they didn't they don't swim that far but what got what what got over my fear is I found a group that swam in the ocean that was my biggest fear I was afraid of sharks and once I started swimming them the first two months after looking in the corner thinking I saw a shark in it it's it's like it's this is the greatest metaphor and analogies you can do for life it's the same thing we all have these blocks in life that keep us from doing things and discipline is really not listening to that mind it's showing up no matter what there's you there's no such thing as being ready for anything you're never gonna be ready for anything you're never gonna be perfect so the the con the consistency is how much I've grown and how now I it's the consistency and the discipline has made me free and you hear about this all the time in athletes and other people and you're just like yeah whatever I'm not built like that everyone says I'm not built like that I'm not built like that but everybody is they're they are built for discipline they might not be able to run as fast as somebody else to do it or I'm not gonna you know but they're built for discipline so we're all capable of it I love this so much I love this so much and there's the voice inside of me saying but I'm not really yeah not not me no no yeah I mean I have the biggest voice I have discipline around certain things I really do I have excellent discipline around certain things but I remember a while back I got inspired by Jacob Willink you know yeah he's amazing yeah and David Goggins and ultra Marathon runner but yeah Jocko Willink his whole thing exactly what you just said that the discipline the showing up no matter what every day consistently really is the key to unlock your freedom and you know he does that whole thing where he wakes up super early and takes a picture of his watch and post it and it's like every day no there's certain things I have discipline around but other things that I'm just like I just can't get myself so what's your what's the wisdom for you what's worked for you that helps you show up even when that voice is like I don't wanna show up it's too hard I'm too tired you know I well I'll tell you yeah that's a that's a great question it's also my routine that I do on a before I even swim that really helps me one thing I really got from Jocko too which I loved is this is so so important what he said he goes you know you have to wake up every day like you're back to zero and I think the biggest thing people do in life is I just ran five miles yesterday I just worked off I just worked my ass off yesterday no this is a whole new day and this is and there's a and you guys will probably know this I don't know this but this is what I heard even more recent it's even more beautiful from some monk and I don't know who it is he says you have to look at your life as one day and that's the most beautiful thing that resonated with me recently because this is all one day your you're born you do this and you die and it all happens this is one long day so at the end of a day when I'm thinking oh I didn't do this I didn't do that or I didn't get this I'm like it's still the same day it's still the same day so you're gonna do it in eight hours but it's still the same day and it's not gonna take away now you have to you have to change that when you're doing other things you can't say I'm gonna do this later but what changed so much for me recently is this is all one day and I love it it's beautiful what it is is I've never had a bad morning now I've had mornings where I wake up I don't feel right but when I do my routine which is you know I get up between 3 or 4 I do my meditation I do well first thing I do is I do my I write my gratitude journal I write three thing three things two things I'm looking forward to one I wish I did differently the day before then I send love to three people it's usually people I don't like you know so it's people that I have issues with and trouble with and then I write all the things that I want to manifest in my life so I do that and then I do a 10 minute meditation and then I do my stretches really which is really the yoga different yoga things stretches all those things yoga changed my life too I did that 20 years ago and you know I had a I suffered from an eating disorder for you know a good 20 years of my life and pretty much in six months the and I was just a binge eater I wasn't throwing up I wasn't not eating it was more about just overeating it was gone you know it's not that I didn't still eat or whatever it was like that obsession with food went away instantaneously within six months of doing yoga so that was something that I practiced very much until I had my kids religiously for a good you know 10 12 years and I still do it but just it's not the practice I had back then was six to nine times a week it was incredible but I could do that you know so all of these things that I've done they all add up but it's that routine no matter what oh and then the first thing I do I'm not supposed to have coffee right away but I do have my coffee right away and I walk my dog outside so I'm in the I'm barefoot so I've got the grounding and the serotonin happening so I've got all these stimuli by the time I'm

by the time 5:

30 comes along and or 6 and my kids are waking up you couldn't trigger me if you tried you know that's how you feel but that's the thing is it has to be in repetition because there are days is like is this even working and of course it's working because it's if you don't do it what happens it's not oh if you do it what happens it's if you don't do it what happens and we always focus on if we do this something's gonna happen it's what if you don't do it what's gonna happen does that make sense you are full of wisdom I I mean and I'm I'm literally seeing you in another life as a monk just FYI there is a I have a very monk part of me you know that that's what's so interesting I really do I remember I just yeah I do I do have a monk part of me for sure yeah what when I woke up this morning I got that intuitive hit like this guy's been a monk in another life and it's funny that you mentioned the word monk as we're interviewing you

and monks do get up at 3:

00am and yeah

getting up at 3:

00am and to me this is a this is also a past life influencing this life as you're coming into this life and in beautiful ways you know I saw you tending a garden as a monk in another life and and I wanna ask you now about the cocktails you create and and the earth that you bring into them the food that you bring the plants that you bring in I'm vegan I'm also I don't drink alcohol OK I don't drink by the way I never really drank I never really cared about it that fascinates me and yet and yet you do all this amazing creative innovative things with with plants and with alcohol what what inspires you the most about that and what would you make me being vegan and and for alcohol or for no drinking alcohol I know for food easily so what's so interesting about that is you know I just needed a job 17 years ago so I was I turned 40 I I had just gotten married all these things and I just needed a job and I happen to know the woman who ran all the bars at the Roosevelt Hotel in Los Angeles and she I never I knew her through yoga I never would have gotten that job I mean my first night I had to duck down and say the bartender next to me what's in a cosmopolitan I mean that's how little I knew but within a year and a half I was in the New York Times LA Times and CNN and this is what I know about myself which is I have to harness this energy because I can manifest anything if I'm really 100% focused on that's what's happening with the swimming right now right but what's interesting about the alcohol and that is that was a calling and I really understood a year and a half in the difference between a calling and a purpose you know this is something that really kind of comes out of the blue the universe is using you for something greater than you and it's something that you don't you can't do any it's taking over it's taking over so my whole point to that is is I started making these cocktails I didn't really drink I didn't know much about alcohol so what did I do I went to the farmers market because that was something I was inspired by and knew and started putting the thing those things into the glass and it wasn't like I was trying to fill a void in the market like oh there's nobody out there doing that it was the beginning of the movement I was it was very authentic what I was doing when I look back I was like oh yeah that was very authentic because you were just trying to survive out there you know and then what happened is this huge passion took over everyone didn't understand like you don't drink you you go to bed at 8 and wake up at 3 and now you're going to bed at 3 and waking up at 7 that doesn't make any sense you know but what happened was there was something really driving me driving me driving me and was it in a year and a half into doing this I remember there was a woman right in front of me and she was taking pictures of my drinks and she was the way she was savoring everything and the excitement I said oh my god I know exactly what you've been doing and I stopped myself I said for the last year and a half you have been unconsciously or subconsciously re scripting your relationship to alcohol and making it beautiful and something that you savored and as soon as I had that awareness every memory cause it was some bad memories my mom having 17 bottles of booze under her empty bottles under her bed but every single one of those memories was gone forever so it was deeper than oh I'm making drinks it was deeper than I was making drinks from the farmers market it was it was it was connected to I wanted to change the culture of how people drank and how they looked at alcohol and then what happens is with that it really got me closer to the purpose well the purpose is also is big time is my choke my boys for sure but it got me into food because what I was doing was already so culinary I don't really care about alcohol but when I started to get into food and I had the restaurant and then you know during Covid and so forth I opened the restaurant in my house that's when I really came alive you know because now it was something that I remember people were they loved how I would put little things together at my house it wasn't really cooking it was just how I put things together and now it was coming full circle I wanted I I remember when I got into acting and I remember I had made this like 27 ingredient salad for Thanksgiving you know and I made my own croutons on the and I remember my cousin saying to me he goes I think you missed your calling I think you're supposed to be a chef and I got upset by that cause she just seem like this snooty lawyer you know that was trying to tell me get out of acting type of thing right but the thing is is there was something interesting about that because I when I was younger I my first job was working in this this kitchen at this place in in Cambridge and I remember saying to myself I don't feel safe around food because of my my eating I didn't feel safe so there was something that was the barrier that kept me away from it and I think that's what's so difficult I think of people what happens in people in life is these things get you pull you away but they might be meant for you just it's not the timing or you haven't healed enough to be able to say almost like relationships everything is relationships you're not at the vibration of that relationship yet and I think that's what happened with food is I was not at the relationship of the vibration of that food I I still didn't look at it as what it really is that makes sense if there's some topic you're curious about or an issue that maybe you're struggling with and seeking some insight and guidance around we would love to hear from you you can reach out to us either through our social links or on our web pages and pop us your questions so we can discuss them and offer some wisdom on an upcoming episode of the podcast it does your trans what you're doing what I'm hearing and it's really profound is you're transforming all of the pain all of the trauma all of the things that have held you in separation a sense of abandonment whatever it's been for you and you've systematically and and often you said like unconsciously but systematically and more consciously now healed all those wounds in yourself and lifted everything to its highest frequency its highest vibration and then not only that but you've done it to such an extent and such a level that you're you are a way shower that's what you are you are here to show people the way how to heal and people who are householders you know not being a monk in this lifetime in a cave but by being very much in the public eye and showing people the way how to heal I I it's it's really profound really profound thank you tell us a little bit about your film then it's called Bread Basket is that right yeah tell us tell us about that well it's loose it's basically loose so it's loosely based on my own experience and my issue was not just overeating was really just kind of like this whole the bread basket is a colloquial term that they use in New York for like your stomach I remember my father used to say you know they used to say we're gonna tap you in your bread basket I don't know if you you grew up with that Robin or not never heard of that but my father you know his generation that was a very colloquial term you know for somebody's stomach so I had this obsession and it's still a little bit today but you know grabbing my stomach touching it or you know seeing how it if it looks any different after I eat that kind of thing so I made what happened was I had done a one man show in New York called purge and it was really really out there because what I did was it was really I didn't care I just did everything that I ever wanted to do without worrying about what the audience thought you know was I wasn't trying to do anything but purge and one of the biggest pieces that resonated with people was a piece that was called The Bread Basket and I was in a psychiatrist's office talking about my stomach and what happened is is people kept coming up to me after the show I ran up I think it was like for three weeks I said you know I've never seen a man like talk about eating disorder like that you know it's always women or or the way you know the men it's just it's not really in that depth and I was like you know what I think this is what I should make a film about I've always wanted to make a film and I made a film and it was in the in the called The Bread Basket but it was also shot in a way called it's called dogma 95 it was a movement that was happening with Lars von Trier at the time and I actually got an I was an official No. 29 out of the 34 so there's only been 34 official dogma films I even got written about it in a book called Dogma Uncut they wrote about my film but it was very much about my journey as an actor a little bit and also just my my feelings around the food and I still think of I was just thinking about this image that naturally came out that I didn't even think about and it will always stick with me is like you know I used to take bread loaves and hollow them out and eat the bread but the last image of me is I'm wearing the two loaves of bread as mittens you know as I'm banging my stomach and I just think about that image because it's really everything you know what I mean and also I have my mother in the beginning where I I have this binge scene where I open up the refrigerator and I had recorded a phone call with her and she didn't know so you see me kind of pigging out and you have the voice over of her and it's you know it you know it's yeah I I've seen the film a few times and yeah it's an intense and difficult film to watch right it really goes so deep into emotional deep deep emotional stuff it's a it's a hard film to watch but so powerful you know for as long as I've known you you've always been a creative and between the acting and the film and then I just remember you with so many different hairstyles you're yeah you're the Mohawk and the shaved and the this and the long hair and the different facial hair and you were always experimenting and creating right and you know the food I got to luckily experience one of yes that's right tastings I brought my daughter that's right I need to answer and her partner and yeah but the the food tasting in your house was it was amazing everything was beautiful right everything from the way you set up you know the place settings and the way you taught us each thing that you presented um right and actually I'll answer something for Angie then you can answer it so I don't really drink much at all yeah I and and I was concerned remember I told you yeah cause I told you I was like I don't really drink I'm concerned about drinking and you were like you know don't worry this and that and I'm also vegetarian you really catered you know very individually like everybody else was eating all the fish and all the meats and all the and you were making separate dishes for me to taste and it was everything was amazing my favorite was you did some kind of rhubarb infused alcohol but that I still think about that to this day I'm like I need to learn how to make that because yeah that's very easy most delicious thing I've ever done I can say I'll send that to you because it's so easy cause it's actually now is the time for rhubarb I know I just got rhubarb for the first time this year I'll send it to you and it's very simple yeah great very very simple I really appreciate you saying that and that was another thing that was born out of my cocktails which is what made what made my cocktails experience what people still resonate today was and I was like I said it was just it happened to be this way is I didn't have a menu and everything from the farmers market was on the bar so what happened was is think about doing that four or five days a week for four years the the amount of encyclopedia of senses that are inside of me is limitless right it is limitless but what I the real reason is like you know this woman came in one time and she said can you make me something sweet but not too sweet so I made her this drink and she said that's the best drink I've had she goes what's in it I go well it's you know it's got gin and strawberries and balsamic vinegar she goes balsamic vinegar I hate balsamic vinegar can you make me something else I said you just told me it was the best drink you ever had she goes I know but I hate balsamic vinegar so what I realized is how much people got these things in their head and it was they were tasting with the head because what I was doing was putting it into drinks they couldn't think of these things in drinks and then I would love changing it cause someone cause what happens is you could change the structure and the texture in a drink that was so I loved about it that you could get somebody to like something that they didn't like so if someone came into me I used to love and they would say okay make me anything but no tomatoes I'm like well I'm gonna make you something with tomatoes I said hey I just told you I don't like tomatoes I said but you haven't had it in a drink this way let me take the texture out and do this it's really just a fruit and then they love it you know so I got to have this kind of synergy with people where I was like why am I asking them you know what I mean I'm the one doing this like stop asking them and just present it to them and I got to the point I didn't want to tell anybody what was in it until they told me they loved it so that's what happened with that and I think I got so used to catering to every individual if someone came in and I could tell they didn't like it but they said it was good I would rip that out of their hand they'd be horrified like what are you gonna throw alcohol away I'm like yeah I said I'm not gonna do make this until you're happy with it so with the food was the same way it was like oh now I'm doing a tasting menu which is even more difficult so there's some things I can't do but I was open if someone was vegetarian to to respond to you only is you're vegan one of my favorite dishes that I do is this and I think you might have had it Robert it's a lion's main mushroom that I braise with like tamari onion and olive oil it's very simple but when you braise it they're so fat and juicy and I put that on top of uh rice sushi rice that I cook in coconut oil and it's cooked in the ocean water from the Channel Islands that we get out here so you all the salt is coming from the ocean it's not coming from I don't put any salt in it and I love the connection of the ocean to it but then now I have a vegan person who doesn't eat seafood but is experiencing the ocean so I love that you know that was you know that's how I looked at things like that can you tell us about oh sorry sorry sorry that's absolute that is that is wisdom that is wisdom right there is you you are you are an alchemist and you are literally channeling higher guidance doing that and it's and you're doing it so well you're doing it I don't know unconsciously but it's just such a it's such a beautiful thing to to listen to and it just really it's drawing me in it's like wow just the way that you see the world is so profound and it's so rare so thank you uh you're welcome yeah yeah I was just gonna also say that I know that some German filmmakers recently did a whole thing where they followed you out on a swim and in the ocean and collecting saltwater seaweed and other ingredients that you source directly from the ocean which is like yeah mind blowing like I don't think anybody else on the planet is doing what you're doing with this it's incredible Robert thank you but what's so fascinating about that is yeah I got the ocean water from and then she filmed the dinners I'm actually doing I'm swimming from that island August 7th so I'm actually doing a that swim before my Catalina swim which is half the distance a 12 mile swim and I'm that's gonna be a training swim so I'm actually gonna be swimming from the place that I got I get the salt water from yeah fabulous tell us about how parenting is also a spiritual practice or challenges you to grow and learn more about yourself it's very challenging for sure the biggest yeah the big challenge right now but listen I think the biggest thing that helped me with parenting is a sense of getting out of yourself and a selflessness and putting your attention and being present you know you you're dealing with people who don't have a history with you which is really great or they don't have a history with themselves so they can't project onto you so it's very pure what's coming out of them right it's very pure and you have to kind of listen to that pay attention to that maybe the observations that they make the things they say about you but for me I don't know I just I never wanted to be a father and then when I became a father I really understood it and twins was very difficult I mean I for the first four years it's really impossible and I remember when they were two I remember I was traveling while I was doing the show and I got on the plane for the first time and I said you know God can you please let this plane go down like I've done the best I can they're not gonna remember me I'm not cut out for this I mean that's how I that's how dark it felt you know and I got through that and you know lots of things happened to get to that point but once they hit 4 you know they would it was different it was manageable but I put so much energy into them and I still do you know maybe even too much but food was a big part of in the beginning and for sure and then experiences giving them experience I did I did so many things with them like just forget about traveling where I've gone out of the country just like the hikes and taking them to the ocean and to the beach and all of these things and that's the thing that I I can't stress enough is it's you you do things for your kids and I think but the things that I remember you know we went to Italy last year I think about that trip almost every day you know there's nothing like the experiences and it was just the three of us just happened to be the three of us last year and how that unfolded you know but but it really brings you back to being present and also again with the swimming you can talk to your kids a million times about something but they need to see you do your they need to see you be your word and see you follow through with things cause they're looking at your actions they're looking at that so that's another thing that kind of exemplified my swimming even though they don't really get to see it that much they know that I'm gone in the morning they know I'm coming back they you know and I just send them little clips that to me you know my father was a Marathon runner and that did stick out to me you know he was in the Navy so he was disciplined as well but it's different you know he he didn't really have I think for me it's I wanna be able to work do that but also be there for them as well I don't want I don't want I want it all to be whole I guess I don't know if things can be balanced you know how you talk about like you talked about David Goggins too about balance sometimes when you're trying to do something great it's not about my I didn't have balance in my work when I was doing that you know I achieved yeah I achieved this reputation but that's all I did it was way before I had kids and all that so how can you do that and still be present for all the other parts in your life you know another thing I wanted to tell you that's really really important that I Learned too that drives me a lot is Andrew Huberman talks about this a lot and he talked about it specifically with with David Goggins is the more you do difficult things so those are the things you do not want to do okay you stimulate a part of your brain called the mid cingulate anterior cortex okay it's a part of your brain that gets larger every time you do something you don't wanna do so it's big in athletes and they've connected that part of the brain to the will to live and what's great about that is is the more you develop that I don't want to do this but you did it anyway the more you will build that muscle and that will to keep doing difficult things and that's what's so important especially as we get older right we want to start kind of not shrinking but we are we start to naturally like kind of pull away a little bit from life you know and doing difficult things which is the swimming in the cold was in the beginning as well that's I know that that area is getting stimulated and and you know I still have so much growing to do and learning to do and things that have not been healed properly so it's nice to know that I can take what I'm doing and still say OK you're doing this like you said there's something your discipline right how do I take this discipline for something you're so passionate about and you don't have to be so passionate but how do I how do I do that you know how do I make that work in another area yeah cause I think that's what's really important yeah this is such great wisdom sorry I just want to say amazing wisdom and I'm personally like I get to talk to you regularly and and I'm learning and you know really absorbing new stuff based on what you're teaching us today so really deep bows and thank you and thank you Aunt Gene I talk about you have to jump out of planes every day you gotta jump out of the plane every day and do something that scares you every day because I know that too I'm in my mid 50s and it it life shrinks if you don't keep pushing that boundary yes and pushing it out everything starts to shrink and life gets smaller and sad guru talks about you can either live life or die in increments and I think you're a great role model for people that you're really living your life as if you know Day 0 I love that what you said yeah I think it's a great it's a great Buddhist practice to contemplate death every day not to be morbid but to actually live life to see absolutely this was my last day and genuinely live from that space yeah then then we are going to be more motivated we are going to be able to crank up that you know mode of discipline and and you are a walking demonstration of that walking talking living demonstration of that thank you and I think it's profound it's a very rare person that has that that's walking and talking around you know in in everyday life and you're not in robes but you may as well be for what you're doing that you're bringing yeah so as we wrap up I'm just curious what else is on the horizon for you obviously you have Catalina coming up and I know you've spoken there's like a trifecta of swims there's a is it the English Channel is the third one yeah so there's a couple things so um it's so cold there yeah yeah yeah so I've qualified for the English Channel twice now I've done two swims recently so I did one was Coronado which is 11 mile eleven and a/2 mile swim around this island in San Diego and I did that because I needed why did I do oh I needed to do I think I needed to do a five hour swim I was like OK I'll do that I did it in five hours and 22 minutes but it was 57 degrees that whole time and I forget what that is in Celsius but I qualified for the English Channel then I went back and did a 10 mile swim which took me six hours because it was so rough and that was there's two federations for the English Channel and I qualified for that too because you're supposed to do six hours under 61 degrees but what's interesting Robin I think for me is you know I have a coach for this which is really a great thing because I would love to still figure out how to do this with you or just in general you know where it's like every week she sends me a schedule and I just like stick to it now I wasn't sticking to it before she'd send me a schedule and I'd kind of do my own thing and then I'd do my swim my big swim and be like I kind of suck what's going on here like you swim almost double of what she told you to swim but it wasn't about how much I was swimming it was how I was doing it right so it's so I have been so since I have stuck to exactly what she has given me I have seen myself blossom to the fact that last week like I said when I did that 6 three and a half miles in the ocean and it was you know it's rough but I was just like oh my God you really have grown and that's the thing is you don't get these things you don't get these things as much when you're dealing with the emotional like these these small small increments it's hard to feel that but you want to be able to feel that what what what I felt swimming you you do have those moments like oh yeah I I reacted differently I never would have done that three years ago so those are the equivalent to those things but to answer your question when I now what's happening I haven't shared this with you but now I have deterioration pretty severe in my C4 to C7 so I'm trying to not have surgery obviously I'm I'm having neck issues I'm working I'm going to physical therapy and like I said to the doctor can I at least get the catheter he's like yeah you can definitely do that as long as you know but it's forced me to work on my technique even more but what's happening now is this whole thing has opened up of what I wanna do so I do you know if I do Anacapa in August and I do Catalina in September I wanna do the scars which is these four lakes 40 miles in April in Arizona then I do New York around Manhattan next June or July that's 28 miles and then I do Lake Tahoe 21 miles if I can the same summer and that will complete the California Triple Crown which is Anacapa Catalina and Lake Tahoe and if I do New York then I only have to do English Channel the following year and I'll have the World Triple Crown it's the Triple Crown of the world well so those are my sites but after I do those Robin I'll be closer to 60 then I wanna focus on a swim that no one's ever done before that's really my dream is to do a swim that no one's ever either attempted I hope you have that filmed and because I feel like that has the potential to be one of these epic films you know biographic you know that just inspires everyone you know like the guy who climbs El Capitan and you know like it's like those kinds of accomplishments yeah feel bigger than the ordinary person you know it feels like whoa I could never do that and here you are telling us we all have the capacity for discipline we all have the capacity to train ourselves and grow that part of our brain that does hard things and keep showing up with consistency and with discipline and with creativity and with purpose and calling I mean it's it's really really inspiring I appreciate you so much thank you I love you yeah Angie oh I love you too Angie any final words or questions for Matthew yes by the way it's 13.9 degrees Celsius is that cold to you it's it's pretty cold it's pretty cold it was 10 Celsius so one day I did 10 Celsius for two hours and thank god I didn't know it was 10 Celsius because I was swimming and I got I was supposed to swim another mile and I kind of stopped I'm like okay you're not cold but you're not moving either I think you should get out hahaha like I'm smart your arms couldn't really move and thank God I was near you know close to the beach I was just like yeah you're gonna go in right now and it was the first time that I walked away you know back to my spot but I've been in for two hours at 52 degrees and that's something I never would have been able to do but I also feel like that's a win right some people might say oh I kind of failed I didn't meet my goal that day but it's a win because you trusted your intuition which knew yes right and you didn't I think sometimes we override what our intuitive wisdom is telling us and we don't want to listen to it and then we get hurt or injure ourselves or you know so it's like the fact that you really listened and you know enough about yourself and how your body feels and that you were able to say oh I know what I need right now and you did that absolutely it was a double win Robin because it was exactly what you said was the intuition of getting out and then I went to the pool and swam two miles to to make up for it cause I didn't do it in the ocean of course you did instead of saying oh it's not all together it's not all together it doesn't count no you can go swim the other two miles you know yeah and I think what happens if people don't think they do something perfectly they don't do it at all like I'm not gonna do that you know cause I didn't do it perfectly yeah that's what I'd say yeah I'd say what I what I've learnt from you today Matthew is that it's important to stay present it's important to honour what nourishes you it's important to keep doing things that scare you every day and family is important yeah very and this is about wisdom okay our podcast is all about the wisdom we share is there one last nugget of wisdom that you want to share to anyone who's listening who's feeling really inspired like Robin and I right now a little gem I'm gonna say one thing before the wisdom cause it goes back to when Robin was saying about filming this that book by Christian Murphy Flight of the Eagle what was so powerful about that Robin that I read years ago when you said film this it's not that I don't wanna film this but there is something very powerful the whole idea of the flight of the eagle is the eagle leaves no trace it leaves no trace so we're all we wanna document everything we wanna show everybody but there's a power not I'm not saying you know not gonna do this for everything but there is a power when you do something and you don't have to show it yeah huge power especially something that's huge yeah I don't know why it's a part of me that gets off on it that it's just like oh my God this is all to myself and no one's gonna know and I also completely valid and I really honor the wisdom in that right and it's very Daoist also right just like it's not about the ego it's not about being seen it's you know the master does everything and other people say oh we did it ourselves right and and right there's a wisdom in that and a humility in that and I also know you as this you know six planets in Gemini person and Gemini has such a brilliant gift and mastery in communication and in teaching and going like with what Angie said is maybe you were a monk in a previous lifetime but certainly in this lifetime you have really amazing wisdom to teach so I was just suggesting it as like this is another opportunity to teach and inspire because that's that's part of your gift and your legacy and I still might and I'm not saying I'm not gonna do that I this will leave you with the biggest wisdom that I've gotten out of this is I've done so much by myself over these years you know it's all been me and you know it's like that whole cliche of you know if you wanna do something fast do it alone if you wanna do something far do it with people and together and I think the biggest shift that's happened with me in the last four to six months is several things is yeah I moved back in with the mother of my children not in a romantic way but as a family and she's been incredibly supportive financially emotionally all whatever way you person could be and I'm now have a job that's incredible with this man I've known for 10 years who is doing this wellness sanctuary hotel and even though I'm not having the full potential of my money right now he's sponsoring all my swims so he's these swims cost $6,000 he's paying for the swims and now we're gonna do a fundraiser so I'm gonna raise money for each swim towards whatever causes we wanna do so now there's the power of that so that's something I could not have done alone this this house and reuniting with I could not have done that alone so my wisdom right now is I don't wanna do anything alone right now and it might look like swimming is a lone sport cause I'm out there it's not that's the irony it's not I'm not alone I'm swimming with people in the ocean three times a week so I'm swimming with them so I'm I'm feeding off their energy I'm feed you know two people didn't wanna go in the other day me and this other guy went in if he didn't wanna go in yes I would have gone in but you understand and I have kayak supporters with me when I do the long swims I have a boat with me I have a coach I have people I talk to I'm not doing this alone it looks like a solo sport cause I'm out there by myself so the biggest wisdom is it's great I love being alone I love cultivating things alone I'm more creative when I'm alone but I'm interested now in the long game I'm interested in in I'm giving up these getting these quick fixes of making this great drink or doing this food and getting that instant reaction as opposed to oh no this is three four five years now this isn't just you're gonna get high in a month you know so that is the biggest wisdom for me to share is you absolutely need to find your tribe your village anybody and the thing is is when you are passionate about something and your force is that way it will come that's when you attract it I'm not attracting my food and my drink as much as I used to because my force isn't there but in my swimming all these people are showing up without me trying that's the force and that's the force of these things I I am written in three different books on three different careers because my force was in there now now it's the force that you put into something yeah it's so powerful and that can be done by an ordinary person wow thank you so much use the force use the force and life is not a solo sport I say that all the time I love and that was and it took me a long time to realize that wow thank you so much for being with us today how can people find you and connect with you the best way really just my website or Instagram so my website is my full name.com Instagram you know just I always respond there too so my Instagram is at eat your drink and I post a lot of swimming stuff there too I've got swimming and food stuff there so yeah also there's the user oh is your fundraiser there is your fundraiser on your Instagram we're gonna work on that hopefully cause my swim is not until September 27th I just brought it up to them so I I was gonna talk to them this week we should probably I'd like to have that live by July I think that gives enough time and it's gonna be this incredible organization called Indivisible Arts which is all these people not just with disabilities but also they have had hardships in their life whether it's been jail or whatever trying to create and be be have their lives back and that they're the specific programs that they're raising money for so that will be our first charity that we we raise money for and I really feel between our network we're gonna really be able to make a significant difference sounds amazing yeah thank you so much all of your info and links will be in the show notes thank you thank you so much for talking you're welcome thank you for having me I I loved it fabulous thank you so much for tuning in to the wisdom we share a podcast we hope today's episode sparks some new insight imagination and practical tools you can integrate into your daily life continue this journey with us by subscribing sharing and dropping us a review until next time stay wise

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Anjani Amriit

Host
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Robin Wald

Host