The Wisdom We Share Podcast

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone and Building a Bulletproof Mindset with Dwayne Morton

• Season 1 • Episode 17

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 46:36

Message us with your thoughts, burning questions, or reflections, we’d love to hear from you.

In this powerful episode of The Wisdom We Share podcast, we sit down with Dwayne Morton — founder of Show Up to Win, author of The Bounce Back Blueprint: Become Bulletproof, and a living example of resilience in action.

Dwayne shares his extraordinary journey of overcoming personal adversity, from surviving a near-fatal shooting and battling a misdiagnosed illness, to transforming those experiences into a mission of empowering others. We explore:

- How to reframe life’s toughest moments into sources of strength
- Practical ways to cultivate gratitude and stay present
- The importance of moving beyond victimhood and into intentional action
- Dwayne’s Daily Plan of Attack for building resilience
- Why adaptability is the key to thriving through life’s “potholes”

Whether you’re navigating personal challenges, seeking motivation to push past your comfort zone, or simply want to hear an inspiring story of grit and growth, this episode will leave you with tools you can apply immediately.

Connect with Dwayne Morton
Website: dwaynemorton.com
Show Up to Win: showup2win.com (Join the waitlist to receive Dwayne’s free PDF: “Dwayne’s Daily Plan of Attack”)
Facebook: facebook.com/dwaynemorton
Instagram: instagram.com/showup2win
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dwmorton24

Get the book: The Bounce Back Blueprint: Become Bulletproof — available now on Amazon.

Thanks for listening to The Wisdom We Share.
If this episode sparked something in you, follow, leave a review + share it with someone who’s walking a similar path.

🔗 Connect with Anjani

🔗 Connect with Robin

🎧 New episodes released regularly
Be sure to follow to get all new episodes and insights direct to your inbox.

SPEAKER_03

If you have a negative, you want to reframe it into a positive or at least make it neutral. And throughout all these stories is to get your power back, to get the where you're like, hey, I can op I can wake up on May 16th and be like, I became an author that day. Like I dropped my first book. Like, so it it's a different feeling. And that's that's the thing is as we learn how to control our nervous system, that's I feel like where we are able to take the different steps, where we're able to live more comfortably in the uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to the Wisdom We Share podcast, where ancient truths and modern intelligence weave together to inspire, ground, and shape us for a wiser, awakened life. I'm Angene Amrit.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm Robin Wald, and together we bring you fascinating conversations from the worlds of spirituality, science, and human behavior so you can connect to your own inner wisdom, joy, and clarity, elevating the way you actually live your life.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, absolutely. I just want to say thank you to the listeners. I like to just start out with ultimate gratitude. And so I think time is the most valuable commodity. So when people give me their time, I like to just say thank you, whether they're listening in the morning, afternoon, or night, you know, with on the recording. And so I want to thank you guys for uh inviting me on and to your platform so I can share my story and my wisdom.

SPEAKER_01

Amazing. We're excited to have you share your wisdom. And thank you for starting with gratitude. I think for me personally, that's the most powerful spiritual practice on a daily basis and you know, not taking for granted any anyone or any moment. So thank you for even just starting that and setting the tone. Um, so a little bit about you. So Dwayne Morton is the founder of Show Up to Win and the author of the Bounce Back Blueprint, Become Bulletproof. A former overseas basketball player, he turned personal adversity, including a misdiagnosed cancer battle and surviving a shooting, into a mission to help others build resilience and purpose. Through coaching, speaking, and storytelling, Dwayne empowers people to show up fully and win in life, business, and beyond. Okay, wow. So I have to like start with the big elephant in the room because not everybody in their bio talks about surviving a shooting. So can we maybe just start there? Because I know that that's going to be like on listeners' minds before they could focus their attention on anything else you have to say. Can you tell us a little bit about that story?

SPEAKER_03

Sure. So the this was actually happened three years ago. Actually, May 16th of 2022. It it's also one of the reasons I dropped my book on that anniversary because I know about how mindset is, right? I need to take the power back from that date rather than it be a negative date. So that I wanted to share. What happened was I was driving by a police station. Unfortunately, a criminal had a hidden gun, killed a police officer. We were driving by, and there was a police shootout. A stray bullet hit the truck that I was driving. And that truck, if there's a roof, and then there's a piece of metal that attaches the bed and the roof of the truck. It hit that piece of the metal. So if that bullet would have been an eighth of inch to the left, it kills me. Eighth of an inch to the right, hits my three-year-old niece in the back seat. So I was dealing with PTSD and Survivor's Guilt as I was dealing with the blood cancer diagnosis at the time.

SPEAKER_02

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot to get through. I mean, being English myself, it's really shocking when I hear gun stories. I know you guys are American, but it just it just blows my mind how often and how regular those things kind of happen. And I I want to ask you, Duane, you know, going from there, you said you you flipped that date into something positive. So tell us a little bit more about that. You've got your book coming out. What does that mean to you to make that change that date so it's not just, you know, a victim story, but a story of resilience coming back? Just share with us the wisdom that you got from that there.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so the wisdom of it would be hey, if you have a negative, you want to reframe

Learning to Live Comfortably in the Uncomfortable

SPEAKER_03

it into a positive or at least make it neutral. And throughout all these stories, is to get your power back, to get the where you're like, hey, I can open, I can wake up on May 16th and be like, I became an author that day. Like I dropped my first book. Like, so it's a different feeling. And that's that's the thing is as we learn how to control our nervous system, that's I feel like where we are able to take the different steps, where we're able to live more comfortably in the uncomfortable. I'm a very introverted person, very, you know, like I like to be alone, I like to read books, those type of things, and that's been the way I've been for a long time. And so for me, getting up and speaking and being known is a fear, but I had to like get my nervous system to realize that. And that's with that's with all things, like with basketball, I I would always like take what I could that was good and focus on the good, but also criticize, take the criticism and make that my weaknesses into my strengths.

SPEAKER_01

That's you know, I I I relate so much to what you a lot of what you just said. I'm also somebody who's very introverted and I do a lot of public facing. I'm a teacher in many different, I lead programs, and there's the whole like being seen is not comfortable for me. Like I prefer to be in the background, I prefer to be alone or reading a book or something like that. And the practice. So, what I'm hearing a lot about is like there is some practice involved in building up your strength or your muscle around doing what's uncomfortable for you. I'm wondering how much basketball played into that for you, like learning to show up and practice even when you don't want to, even when it's hard, even when you're tired, even when it's, you know, in your face, how much you suck, right? Like, like tell us more about your experience as a professional basketball player.

SPEAKER_03

So, so first of all, I didn't play professional. I actually just went overseas on a mission trip. And through that, I came back with an agent. I was about to turn pro and I hurt my knee. So there was there were some different things, but I, you know, my dream was to play past high school as a kid. Like I just wanted to play college basketball. And I feel like I surpassed it actually. But as a four-year-old, you know, I shot at a 10-foot go. We didn't change the the height of the basketball go. At that time, it wasn't like that. So at my grandpa, at my grandparents' house, we had a just a wooden backboard attached to a wooden, and so it was at 10 feet. And so I had a man's basketball, which is you know a regular size basketball. So think about a four-year-old boy. Like, I can't, I'm not able to hit the basketball. So there back then they had nets that were red, white, and blue. And so I'd pick the color of the net to get, and then I would hit the rim, and then it would go in and in. I feel like that is the very beginning of my resilience story. And then through athletics, we were pushed, and I feel like that's one thing that needs to be done for for us as individuals is push push ourselves. You know, like I told you guys earlier, like I pushed myself to complete a five-day fast yesterday. So, I mean, those things I think are very important to realize where you're can become more comfortable in that uncomfortable zone, but also push yourself to see what your limits are. And I'm not talking about doing anything crazy, like, and I'm I'm not gonna say crazy, it's crazy to me because I don't like heights, but I'm not you're not gonna catch me like jumping out of an airplane, like you're just not gonna see it. Like, I don't feel like that's for me, but I feel like those type of things is like where we're able to push our boundaries, I think is very important.

SPEAKER_02

It's a great point, Dwayne, because I think a lot of

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

SPEAKER_02

people expect change in their comfort zone. And I would love to hear your thoughts on getting out of your comfort zone, what that what that does for us from your perspective? Like what does it do for our mindset? What does it do for our emotional body perhaps? What it does for us chemically or biologically, from your point of view, because you you talked about the fast, and maybe you want to wrap it into that story about the fast you just finished. And what are the what are the outside hidden forces that often stop us that we might not even be aware of from moving out of our comfort zone as well as our own?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so I think it's how we're taught, how we're educated, we're taught like a certain way, different rules, and like if you go outside of this box, like you're pretty much like you're gonna die. And I I hate to put it to that point, but like if you don't eat the four basic food groups, like so, but what we're learning more is like with the carnivore diet, the same thing. Ten years ago, I would have never fasted. I would have just been like, no, that's not for me. You know, same thing with vegetarian. I tried vegetarian a couple of times, but I tried it more for like a I did a month and a half, like three years, four or four years ago. And I think it's important to like really test to see like what we like and what we don't. Also, one thing I also realized is my palate and my mouth has changed too. So like I've been trying foods that like I would normally be like, no, I don't really like that because I had bad. I feel like those are the type of things that I feel like we can do better. It's just be like, hey, I had a bad experience. The experience doesn't change what that food or whatever that experience was, and it's it all ties back to beliefs. Our belief system is just based on lies, like it it says lie in the middle of it.

SPEAKER_01

So that's funny. I never saw that before.

SPEAKER_03

Think of this like, give me another definition of belief or belief without using the word believe, right? Like you have to use that word, and so that's another aspect. And I mean, I had a really great friend who who taught me that. And when he taught me that, I was like, oh, okay, there's there's more to this. You know, this is almost like a word that the education system uses to limit us, and you know, and I felt like that was the thing. And so I just try to push my boundaries. I feel like it's extremely important to find things that like I feel if there's something there that makes me not want to do it, I want to know the purpose of why I do not want to do it. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01

That's so fascinating, and it's very much goes counter to our natural instincts, right? So our human instinct is to self-preserve and protect. And there's a reason we stay in our comfort zone, right? It's familiar, I know the dangers here, I know how to manage those. I can be in somewhat, whether it's illusory or not, like an idea of control, right, in my what I've created. But as soon as we go outside of that and we're faced with the unfamiliar, or we're challenging ourselves with something new, there's a perceived threat there. Right. But any threat, you know, it's like they say fear is false evidence appearing real, which is kind of going right to what you're saying about beliefs include lies. Like what am I believing? What am I telling myself, or what has been taught to me that I've just accepted as truth that maybe I have to unlearn? So, like what in your life, when you work with clients, like how do you use this whole idea of shifting mindset or belief systems or unlearning assumptions? How does that play into people's success?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so that's a great question. So with clients is different than myself. What I realized when that coach told

Shifting Beliefs and Changing Your Perspective

SPEAKER_03

me that part about the belief and that type of stuff, I looked at all the things. When I was younger, someone in my family had gotten hit by lightning. And so anytime that it was like just overcast, it was like, hey, make sure you don't go outside with a liminal bat. Hey, you don't swing a golf club, like those type of things. And so then I noticed like whenever it would get just overcast, I'm like, okay, time to go inside. You know, now I would play basketball in the rain and that type of stuff, but you know, I'm I'm dribbling a rubber ball or a leather ball. So that was the thing. And when I started really just journaling and thinking about all these different things that other people brought to me, and not, you know, that I learned through someone else. So that was a thing. So for clients, the same thing. I just say, hey, you know, when I hear certain things, like so I coach in an athlete, I do mental performance with athletes, and so I was talking to an athlete one day, and he was like, Listen, he goes, I don't want to hit the baseball to right field because I was taught to pull the ball. Like, I was taught to pull the ball by my dad, I was taught by my coaches, all my coaches. He's like, So now I'm in the minor leagues, like they're telling me to like be able to hit the ball the other way. He's like, I don't know how to do that. He's like, I've never been a pull hitter my whole entire life, and so what I told him was like, so you're based on that belief on what other people say, like this professional coach is telling you that you need to change your mindset to a different look, and you'll probably like he could possibly have without that shift of mindset, he might not have he might not be able to make it to the majors. I mean, so those things are like when you look back at those type of things, and so that's what I do with my clients. I just give them a different perspective. It's the 6ix9ine thing. When you start walking and you get a different perspective, then you start understanding that maybe not what I fully understand or what I feel like I fully understand is what I truly believe. And so same thing is like I I the other I feel like my one of my superpowers has always been I've been able to take other people's perspective in.

SPEAKER_02

And how does that how does that specifically so if you're are you training people in opening their perception, opening their perspective, helping them move beyond their stories? Because this is what I think I'm hearing. And and you know, these are deep, deep spiritual teachings that you're kind of bringing this ancient wisdom back into a modern world in terms of looking at your story, looking at your beliefs, looking at your mindset, and then moving outside of that. So what are there any specific steps or recommendations that you could share with our listeners that would help them once they have, you know, maybe move their perspective or looked at something else? How might they shift a really dogged, rigid because I know for me, people love clinging to their beliefs, right? They just they're so wedded to them. What can you share about that? How can people unhook from those really embedded beliefs?

SPEAKER_03

I think it they have to make a decision. The decision is gonna bring a commitment, but they have to make a decision of like, hey, I want the results to get me here. I'm willing to do what is necessary to get me here, and I'm also willing to unlearn some different things. I think it comes into them actually just buying in. I think this one of the first things. I was working with it, I was working with someone. This was this was earlier on, more in the sports psychology part, but he was working with self-doubt. And I I worked with him for four months, and I was I I could I didn't feel like he bought in. And then one day he bought in, and then he became a really good college player. And I was telling him, I was like, the whole entire time, you're beating your head up against the wall, trying to figure this out. And I was like, you never believed that it would work the very first second you walked in, and you kept believing that. And so I was like, there was times where I just wanted to say, no, no, no, like I I'm done trying to coach you because you did not do what first of all, they didn't do what I asked. They they they weren't bought in, but they also didn't believe that that that change could happen to them. So I think it it goes back to like, hey, I'm willing to do what other people are unwilling to do. That is the first thing. The second thing is, hey, I want these results, so what am I willing to take away a race to get those? And I think that those are these steps, and that has to come from the client, right? But also we have to coach to get that out, and so I think that's very important. The the the other thing is I feel by them coming to us and purchasing the program or just coming and approaching, they want the change. We gotta find the reason that they want the change and why are they not making the change?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So all of us are coaches, right? So you're definitely speaking to something that is really fundamental about coaching, which is that as a coach, the person that I'm working with, I treat them as fully responsible, accountable, competent, capable. They are the ones who are willing and choosing to engage in a coaching relationship so that they can figure out their goals and move forward around them, right? It's not the coach's job isn't to fix or psychoanalyze or any of that. The coach is there to be like, okay, you want this. Let's help you explore what you want, why you're not getting there, what can help you get there. So it's really interesting what you're saying about this buy-in and making a decision having to be the first step. I really appreciate that because one thing that I've noticed a lot of in the modern culture is that there tends to be kind of like I'm gonna try to say this politely so you know I'm not looking to offend anyone, but I've noticed that people sort of elevate like almost like victim consciousness as like a badge of honor. Like, oh, here are all of the reasons why I'm a victim and I'm oppressed, and these are all my traumas. And I'm not belittling that people have real trauma and that there is real oppression and injustice in the world that affects people disproportionately. Like that's real. But the problem with overly identifying with the problem or the why I can't, that everything is stacked against me and I cannot make change because of all of these external or past factors. And when people overly identify with being the victim, they they give away all their power. And the power starts with deciding in this moment, I am capable and competent to take responsibility to make change in my life and to get the support and guidance and professional help that can help me move forward in that way. So I'm curious what your thoughts are. And if you see this, especially with younger, I don't know, do you work with younger athletes as well? Like, are you seeing this in the younger generation? Like, oh, all the reasons and justifications for why they really can't show up in their life.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So I think everyone's capable. And it's I I love the fact

Moving Beyond Victimhood and Taking Ownership

SPEAKER_03

that you brought in the victimhood because one of the things is and and I I did it myself when I was going through the shooting and I found out that I was misdiagnosed for 18 and a half years and find out, hey, I only had severe sleep apnea, which I was able to be basically healed in about two weeks. So yeah, that's a that I I could take that victim part and run that with a badge of honor. But what I chose to do was take the ownership of all the things that I could do, put that on my shoulder and say, hey, I made this decision, I made sorry, I made this choice, I made this decision, blah, blah, blah. I got these consequences. Okay. What I can do right now to change, because I can't, I don't have I'm not Marty McFly. I don't have a I don't have the DeLorean, right? So I can't change it. And honestly, people have told me, they said, if we had a pill and you could change it, would you? And I said no. And the reason I say no is because it made me who I am right now today, where I'm on your show, where I'm on a program called The Wisdom We Share.

SPEAKER_02

I love that. I love that, Dwayne. Yes, go on.

SPEAKER_03

So the part that I could take and do, and I believe in presence. The other thing is is my program and my brand's called Show Up to Win.

What It Really Means to Show Up

SPEAKER_03

Showing up to me is not just showing up in attendance. I I've been to all kinds of personal development stuff, and people are just there and they're On their phone, they're you know scribbling, they're doodling. You're not gonna get any type of anything out of that conference that you paid all those dollars because you did not show up with intention and show up with presence. So show up to win is not about winning games and championships, it's about putting yourself in that championship mindset, but your job is to show up with intention and show up in presence. And so I feel like that is what I teach. I teach those people to have that type of mindset. And the book that I did, I call it a bulletproof mindset. It's an oxymoron. The bullet didn't hit me that day, right? But it took a part of my heart, my soul, and my innocence. So those are the things, but it's all about how we respond. If I'm living presently, I can't worry about the past. If I'm worried about the past, I'm depressed, right? Same thing. If I'm focusing so much on the future, I'm gonna be anxious. The secret part is that present, which that's the true gift.

SPEAKER_02

So, with that, what's one internal muscle that most people never train, but absolutely need to if they want to thrive beyond just performing through life?

SPEAKER_03

I love this question. I absolutely love this question. So I tell people all the time, they say, I don't have anything to be happy or grateful for. And I say, like, put your hand on your chest every heartbeat, that's something to be grateful for. Because there's a lot of other people that don't have it, right? Same thing when I breathe, I realize that like that is another stuff that other people don't have. So we have this built-in mechanic anywhere that allows us to just be grateful, but also allows us to realize that, like, hey, I'm alive, like I should just be happy that like, hey, I'm getting I'm learning this lesson. Maybe I'm going through something that's really difficult. And so for me, it's like when the shooting happened and I was trying to control my heartbeat because I knew back in the day someone told me, Hey, control your breath, control your heartbeat. So that's what I did. I was like, took a deep breath, I controlled, got as calm as I could, and stayed out of shot. Same thing. And I also feel like a lot of people we overcomplicate a lot of matters that really aren't that big of a deal. How many friends get an unexpected bill and they feel like the world is about to fall on them? Like, that's not true resilience, right? Like, that is just you're going through life, those things happen. I like to call them potholes in my program. They're just pothos. And if we're driving a car and we're driving down the street, guess what we do when we see a potho? We move the car, we swerve, we try to miss the potho if we can, but if we don't, we just don't want to take that center hit. And I feel like that's a lot of people's pro problems is they don't realize that they can be adaptable.

SPEAKER_02

I think they don't, and I think to be fair to people, is that we're not taught this. And I love that we're able to share this wisdom because through sharing this, it will help people have what you're talking about, Duane, that different perspective, that then they can move into a practice of gratitude because no one teaches us this anywhere. We're not taught it at school, we're not taught it at universities, we're not taught it in management classes, you know, in in leadership training. It's not taught anywhere. And so, and so I think it's important that you're you're bringing this into such a practical way for people to hear because otherwise we don't know what we don't know, right? And so I think it's important for people to just hear this. What do you reckon, Robin?

SPEAKER_01

Well, first of all, I was gonna push back a little bit about nobody's teaching it anywhere. So you know that I teach children, and gratitude is a huge part of what I bring into all of my teaching. And I have my fifth graders with a journal, and we start every class with them saying at least three things they're grateful for in the moment or that's happened in their life this week. And it is about teaching them to develop a habit because habits take a long time to create, right? So gratitude doesn't maybe it doesn't just come naturally easily to some people, but if you practice anything, I mean, people have different numbers for this. I say 40 days. If you could practice something for 40 days consistently, it now becomes a habit and an automatic. You know, one of my gratitude practices is I wake up in the morning and there are, I'm coming from a Jewish tradition and there are some morning blessings that you say, which are all about the very first blessing is I am thankful. Those are the first two words out of your lips. And when you wake up in the morning, mode anni, which means I am grateful. I am thankful for my breath being restored into my body this morning. And then the second blessing is I'm grateful for my soul, which is pure and good. And uh the third blessing is I'm grateful for my body with all of its openings and closings and functioning. And so, like that's my morning practice. I wake up exactly like you said, Dwayne. I'm grateful my heart is beating and I'm breathing and my body functions. I've got a brand new day, right? But I wanted to ask you, Dwayne, because one of the things that I loved when I was looking at your website is you were talking about Dwayne's daily plan of attack. And you have

Dwayne’s Daily Plan of Attack

SPEAKER_01

like a four-step approach. So I would love for you to get really granular with us and give our listeners some very practical advice and wisdom on like what do you say is a daily plan of attack to really upgrade your life?

SPEAKER_03

Well, so you're gonna love this because the first thing I do is wake up and I'm grateful. I'm grateful because guess what? Other people don't get that opportunity to wake up. So when these are these are actually the four steps that I talk about, but these are the four things that I did when I was going through my diagnosis. So, but the first step is gonna be gratitude. My second one is gonna be self-care, whether that's texting somebody, looking at the Bible, looking at different things, just do something for yourself. Like, do something that just makes you happy or makes you like enjoy your day or wait, you know, some people like to have a glass of coffee, just some type of self-care type. The next thing is gonna be just movement. So I whenever I was dealing with the diagnosis, I felt like I had the flu every day. Nobody likes having a flu, but that was how I felt every day. So it was like I was waking up with a quarter of a tank of energy, and so if it was just me going and getting a glass of OJ out of the fridge, I celebrated that. I was like, okay, I've I've done a good day. Like I moved, and so you know, I kind of mentioned a little bit, but I take a runner's approach to my day. I I approach it like if I'm running left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. The things when they are hard, I concentrate on something simple. Just like when I'm running, I don't look far ahead, I definitely do not look back, but also in our lives, what do we do? We're looking at the past all the time, but nobody runs backwards, right? And that keeps us in depression. Same thing with the future. If I'm looking so far at my destination, I'm gonna go off direction, but I'm also gonna get anxious. So that that pure the gift is the present. So for me to stay present in the way I run, I'm only looking 15 to 20 feet ahead. I'm not looking way, way ahead. I might glance at it, but I I'm aware. Like I want to be very aware. I want to be so aware that I want to be aware of being aware. And then the fourth step is gonna be just being adaptable. It's the same thing with the potho approach. Whenever I'm running, I need to make sure that, like, okay, I I live in a rural country part in Kentucky. Like, I need to know if there's a snake, you know, a little bit in front of me. Like, if so, okay, I can stop and I can move around, right? So that's what I'm talking about is just move those pothos, move those obstacles, and realize that you have the ability to just move out of the situation, but also you have the ability to be aware and just maybe hit the left or the right side of the potho. And your day's so much better because guess what? I'm practicing awareness, I saw it, you know, or I noticed it. And number two is is like I I controlled what I can control, I reacted, I controlled everything. I I didn't have to take an action step, but I decided, hey, it was a good time to take an action step. I think that's important. That's where you get your power back.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I I think that if I can summarize what I'm hearing from you is that it's an internal control that we have rather than an external, because I know a lot of people believe that the outside environment has to be in a certain way in order for them to be happy, to get stuff done, you know, to overcome hardship. And what I'm hearing from you is that we can't control any of the outside environment, but we can control how we respond to the outside environment and not even as more than that. We can actually choose how going forward we want our life to move by shifting our mindset doing those practices. What would you say about that?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I mean, so everything you said, and I'm gonna take it from a basketball standpoint because that's also like what I felt. I could control if the ref was gonna call hard fouls or not today. I could control if he's gonna now I can react to it, and if I react, he gets to you know put me in time out, you know, he gets to give me a technical, or he gets he he actually gets to control the game. That's his job is to control the game. Whether I like it or not, doesn't matter. Same thing. When I get a bill from the government saying, hey, I gotta pay something, okay. If I said, hey, I'm not gonna do it, there's consequences. And I think that's another thing is like I think a lot of people don't realize sometimes our decisions they have consequences. And you know, I I go back to the shooting that day. I was taking my three-year-old niece to get ice cream. I could have gone right that day. I chose to go left. And by choosing to go left, I ended up us driving through a police shootout. But like that choice was mine, and I take ownership of that too. Like, I didn't know all that was going to happen. And I feel like that's another thing is people just have to understand that sometimes we're just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's not that we were we had done anything to deserve it, but what we did is there's a lesson that we were supposed to learn. And through that lesson, our our ability isn't this doesn't happen to us. If when it we say it happens to us, that's a victim mentality. When we say it happens for us, then we're that's an ego part, right? The secret is things happen through us. It happened because your shoulders were strong enough to carry it, but you are supposed to facilitate the lesson. I'm very purpose-driven. So, like we were talking about earlier, I'm an introvert. Going on podcasts, that scared the holy hell out of me. You know, talking in front of a thousand people when I did it at 20, I was scared. But I realized, hey, there was something to this. And I think that's just important, is like sometimes we're out of alignment too. That's we can get into that part also. Like sometimes you're out of alignment and those things happen to you to get in alignment to get you to better.

SPEAKER_01

Wow. I actually love how you framed that. I I just want to repeat it for our listeners because this was so powerful that you know, we can take the mindset that things happen to us, right? Completely not in our control, and we're somehow a victim of what happened to us. And then a different step is that it happens for us, like, okay, this is somehow for me. There's a lesson in this. What am I learning? What am I supposed to receive? But it's still very me-centric, and there's a little bit of ego, like there's something important about me here. And then there's this taking it to a whole other level, which is very spiritual and very faithful, which is it happens through us. And that almost has me then connect to I'm just a channel for life to be experienced through me. And whatever's being experienced through me has almost an even bigger, more mysterious, kind of soulful purpose there. And I'm part of that journey with it, you know, and and there's some faith in that also, I think, which I I think that's a beautiful way of talking about it. Um, I do have a question for you about working with young people and with athletes. And I know that I have kids, a son, especially, who's an athlete his entire childhood, high school, very high level, so much pressure, so much intensity, a lot of, I mean, oh my gosh, you know, athletes work really hard because it's always about improving and improving and improving, and it can be better. And you, it's a very perfectionistic. And I'm wondering, like, what do you have as advice or wisdom for any athletes listening or parents of young athletes in terms of kind of maintaining a healthy balance or perspective around their physical pursuits and goals, but also like really nurturing their heart, their soul, their resilience in the process.

SPEAKER_03

I love this question. So, for me, is we're taught to be perfectionists, we're taught to be comparison. We compare each other, we compare our teammates. Okay, well, this person did this, so like if I'm just a little bit better and I should get plenty of time. So we have to kill that mindset. And I I talk about you're competing with yourself. You have to find whatever it is. I like to even take it to a golf approach, a golf approach. They're not playing against the players, they're playing against the the course. And so I like to say that. I like instead of competing against your teammates and competing against what the coach says, I want you to just compete against yourself. Run as hard as you can. Don't just run limit yourself. The other part of that is this is what I tell, this is one of the first lessons I tell these kids. As an athlete, you have 50% that love you, and you have 50% that hate you. But guess what? At any given time, that 50% that love you are going to turn on you. You make a bad play, lose the game, do something, and they're gone. So let's not depend on that. Let's not even put that as a factor into how good you're playing. Let's look at it this way. I like to look at these absolutes. An absolute is the sun comes up and the sun comes down. They probably have a family, so their mom or dad love them. And and that's also conditional, too. So that's another thing. If like they have to understand that those things are conditional too. But also what we have to realize is their faith. Most of my athletes are usually faith-based, or are usually, and I'm like, I tell them, I'm like, so we have to look at a different approach. We have to look at those absolutes, the sun comes up, sun comes down, and the univer God, universe, however you believe, that's it. Everything else, it's a clean slate. How you play this game doesn't matter. Also, like in basketball, you have what? Two true outcomes. When you take a shot, it goes in or it misses. So when you get the shot, take it, but be prepared for those two outcomes: a miss or it's going to go in. That's it. And so I teach them visualization. And so, guess what? When you're doing that, you gain confidence and experience. But also the thing is, is when you're visualizing, you don't miss.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's so true. You touched on this l a few times. So I'm gonna just ask you straight down the barrel. Because I feel like with a with most people who do life well, who can get to a state of peace and happiness, whatever's going on, there's some kind of faith, there's some kind of higher guidance. So, what is that for you? And what is your do you have a daily practice that kind of anchors you into a higher perspective?

SPEAKER_03

Sure, yeah. I mean, so I grew up right smack dab in the Bible belt, and so so I am a Christian faith, but also, you know, I also learned different things that I didn't know that I apply. There is no black and white, there's a lot of gray, you know, in my faith and a lot of people around here, like they would not recommend hypnosis. I went through hypnosis to get through to the trauma. Like, I think that's important is to know what works for you and also what works, what you're willing to understand. So I appreciate the question, but I also believe that sometimes we just have to understand that we are an ant on this huge world. Whether it's round, whether it's flat, all those things that science tells us, whether it's spinning, it doesn't matter. Can we control it? No. So it doesn't matter. It all these things that we are up at arms and we're arguing about, it does not matter. I can't control what you guys think. I can you you can't control what I think. What we can do is is we can come together and say, I'm glad you believe this. I don't believe this, but guess what? You're still a pretty cool person, so I just like to experience this world with you. That's the true secret, is when we're able to have that type of not just mindset, but also that type of just love for each other. So one of the things I believe in is like you create better communities, and through better communities, you create a better world. So I hope I answered that well enough. But like I think faith is like one of those touchy things where I'm willing to go there, but I'm also willing to look at other people's faith and pull because there's a lot of ancient wisdom in a lot of these things, and they cross over a whole lot.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, they do. Thank you for that. They cross over. I found studying different faiths and religions that they all are saying the same thing pretty much. And I think what I heard from your answer was love is the answer, and you can't get better than that, right? So, what do you think, Robert?

SPEAKER_01

No, I think that's a great place to wrap up this interview because that was the mic drop moment, right? It's not about divisiveness, it's about coming together and creating communities and creating a world where people really respect each other, listen to each other, you know. Dwayne, this has been really a pleasure to talk to you. Tell us, tell our listeners how they can reach you, how they can get your book, what are any new projects you're up to that you want people to know about?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so uh the book is called the Bounce Back Blueprint, Become Bulletproof. You can get that on Amazon. I created this, it's a blueprint. It is about what I did, the the functional stuff. And also to let you know, it's very simplified. That's the most beautiful part about any self-help book. If you apply those things, it's like a cake, you'll get that cake. If you change it up, I can't guarantee the results. So if you put three eggs in a cake, you might not get the cake that you're expecting, right? Show up to win on most of my social media or DW Morton24.

SPEAKER_01

Great. We'll share those. Yeah, we'll share all those links for people.

SPEAKER_03

But if you go go to my website, show up to win with the number two, that's where you're going to go into where I have a wait list. I'm gonna create a community. Like I've been talking about this for a while, but I'm creating a community so I can teach people resilience and do it in a group setting because I feel like it'll keep me consistent, but it'll also keep the community consistent, and the community can help support each other, and I can support the community. So that was one of the big things. And then I have a podcast also. I host a podcast called Show Up to Win, which is on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. And that is where I spotlight other people's resilient stories and enjoying it. And that is that's a passion project.

SPEAKER_02

I just want to say thank you and offer my gratitude to you, Dwayne, for showing up from a fellow introvert. Also, I know that it's not always easy coming on these podcasts and having conversations and being put on the spot, especially with two people. So thank you so much for really sharing just a ton of wisdom that our listeners can really take, lots of practical stuff. So thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure.

SPEAKER_03

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you so much for tuning in to the Wisdom We Share podcast. We hope today's episode sparked some new insight, imagination, and practical tools you can integrate into your daily life.

SPEAKER_02

Continue this journey with us by subscribing, sharing, and dropping us a review. Until next time, stay wise.

Head Shot

Anjani Amriit

Host
Head Shot

Robin Wald

Host
Head Shot

Dwayne Morton

Guest