Just when you finally understand your child's current stage — they move into the next one, and you have to learn everything all over again.

In this episode Michelle sits down with Rachel Thomas, a therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Family Therapy — an attachment-based approach that helps caregivers show up as accessible, responsive, and engaged so children can develop secure attachment. As a parent of two young adults, ages 19 and 21, Rachel has lived every stage of this work both clinically and personally — including, on the day of this recording, sending her son off for his sophomore year of college.

Rachel shares some of her most honest parenting stories: the frustrated morning school-drop-off that changed after a tragedy made her rethink how she said goodbye each day, the time her son hid her phone under the couch because he wanted her attention, and the day her middle schooler asked her to stop touching him — and what she did with her own grief about that request.

In this episode you'll learn:

• What ARE — accessible, responsive, engaged — actually means, and why it was never meant to be a 24/7 standard
• Why letting go is not one moment but a practice repeated at every stage of parenting
• How anxious and avoidant parenting styles show up differently — and why both need to stretch toward "the stronger, wiser other"
• How to know when to press in and encourage a child forward, and when to step back and let them lead
• Why "it depends" is often the most honest and clinically accurate answer in parenting
• How to grieve the small endings of parenthood without placing that grief on your child
• Why getting support — a listening partner, a therapist, a co-parent in the form of your child's own therapist — is one of the most powerful things a parent can do

Topics: Emotionally Focused Family Therapy · EFFT · attachment-based parenting · secure attachment · ARE model accessible responsive engaged · anxious attachment parenting · avoidant attachment parenting · parenting teens · parenting young adults · letting go · empty nest · parent grief · parent guilt · raising adult children · gentle parenting · peaceful parenting · conscious parenting · parent self-compassion

Guest: Rachel Thomas — Therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Family Therapy

🎓 Yelling to Connecting — 6-week online parenting course ✨ Free Guided Pause + Regroup: https://link.innovorise.com/widget/form/Pm5Uy0ezEwvqKxwlL8Ik 🌐 compassionateheartparenting.com

This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. Compassionate Heart Parenting does not provide psychotherapy services.

Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting.

You’ll get a story from my heart and a quick win you can use the same day.

A free gift for you: the RAGE Break, a free guided audio pause for when you are about to lose or have just lost it with your kids and you need a moment to regroup. Find the audio download in the links. I created the Rage Break because it is exactly what I needed when I was struggling with anger and yelling in parenting. 

This story was brought to you by “Yelling to Connecting.”  If you or someone you know struggles with yelling at your kids, losing it, or being constantly on edge this course will be a helpful tool. 

A reminder: This content is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Compassionate Heart Mindful Life does not provide psychotherapy services in any capacity.

I am a therapist but I am not your therapist and this is not therapy and should not be a substitute for mental health treatment. If you need mental health treatment please find a qualified professional in your area.

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