Never Too Festive: Parenting with More Joy & Less Mom Guilt

23. Debunking the Myth of Color Analysis & Why Color Seasons are Keeping You Feeling Stuck

• Elizabeth Hambleton

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Can the colors you wear or the decor in your home truly dictate your happiness? In this episode of Never Too Festive, Elizabeth Hambleton shatters limiting myths about color in fashion and home decor that keep people from embracing their true selves. Hear the touching story of a young girl who thought she could never wear gold jewelry because of a seasonal color analysis label. Elizabeth, having styled over 10,000 individuals, argues for breaking free from these restrictive guidelines, advocating instead for wearing colors that make you feel joyful and confident. 

Join us as we dive into empowering style choices that celebrate authenticity. We question the conventional wisdom that suggests sticking to neutral home decor for resale value, and instead, champion living spaces that resonate with your unique personality. Learn how to highlight your favorite features in your wardrobe and let go of arbitrary style rules. By experimenting with what you already own and discovering what you naturally gravitate towards, you can create a personal style that truly reflects who you are. It's time to reclaim your sparkle and redefine your style—not for others, but for yourself.

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to another episode of Never Too Festive. I'm your host, elizabeth Hambleton. Today, we're talking all things color and we're going to be debunking the number one myth that I see people thinking about color that keeps them feeling stuck and holds them back from feeling confident in their color choices, both for their clothes and for their home. Hey there, mama, and welcome to Never Too Festive, the podcast where we celebrate the extraordinary in everyday motherhood. I'm Elizabeth Hambleton, your host and fellow mom, on a mission to help you rediscover your sparkle, redefine your style and reclaim your sense of self. In the midst of motherhood mayhem, do you ever feel like you've lost touch with the stylish, confident woman you used to be before kids? Are you tired of living in yoga pants and feeling like you've gone from thriving to just surviving? Well, mama, it's time to reclaim joy, creativity and style, while embracing the fabulous mom you were meant to be. So grab your iced coffee and join me as we embark on a stylish adventure together, because here on Never Too Festive, there's no such thing as too much sparkle, too much flair or too much celebration. Get ready to shine bright and live your most fabulous, joyful life, because you deserve it.

Speaker 1:

So this episode is actually inspired by something that I saw last night. I was in Target picking up some stuff for my family and I was walking sort of right by the front where there's clothes at least how our Target is laid out there's clothes in the kind of the very front by the checkout and there was a girl in the clothing section who was probably roughly 12 or 13. She looked to be kind of late middle school to me, though I'm not an expert judge of age, so we'll just say she's 13 for the point of the story. She was there shopping with someone who I would think is probably her grandmother and they were looking for some gifts. The grandmother was asking like, do you like this, do you like this? And the grandmother was holding out some jewelry and asking the girl if she wanted it, and the 13-year-old replied to her grandmother oh no, I'm a cool winter, I think, is what she said. I can't wear gold jewelry ever in my life for the rest of my life, because I'm a cool winter. And there was a part of me that wanted to go up to her and tell her that was not true. I didn't, I did not cause an incident in Target, but I was inspired to come home and record this episode for you, because the whole seasonal winter thing or not winter, but the whole seasonal color analysis thing is, in my opinion, one of the worst sides of most personal styling.

Speaker 1:

I don't know businesses or like consultations or however you want to encompass that idea. I think that people mean well and they're trying to give their clients a framework to help them. So I'm not saying anyone's a bad person, but if we look at that, a 13-old is already saying and believes it Like she said it with conviction I can't wear gold jewelry for the rest of my life. What, why, why are we putting ourselves and the people we love in such tiny little boxes of possibility?

Speaker 1:

The idea that a 13-year-old has already sworn off one of the major medals and no doubt has other opinions about color, that she has already confined herself to such a narrow, narrow path at 13, that boggles my mind. I have a daughter who's a little younger, she's eight. If she said something like that in middle school, I would be horrified, because that is not the point of fashion. That is not the point of fashion. That is not the point of color. If we really break that down, what is that girl saying I can't wear gold. What she's actually expressing is someone told me I look less pretty in gold than I do in silver, that it is more flattering to wear silver. So for me there is a lot wrong with that. We are telling her that her value and like how she presents herself to the world has to be conformed to everyone else's perceptions of beauty, that it can't be about what she thinks is fun or what she thinks is pretty, or what she feels creative or special in what lights her up. No, that can't be the standard. Instead, we're looking for other people's validation. We need other people to tell us that we look more pretty in silver than we do in gold. Also, logically, most people do not have that honed of a design sense. I guarantee you, of a design sense. I guarantee you, if you showed a middle schooler to 10 random Americans and you showed her in silver jewelry and in gold jewelry, they would not notice. They would not notice. I guarantee they would not notice. And obviously I think the jewelry tone is a little bit less. Maybe people who are listening you might be thinking yeah, well, okay, fine jewelry, but I really do look better in certain color shirts than others and that's fine.

Speaker 1:

I'm not saying that you can't stick to your favorite colors, but what I am saying is that we don't need to put ourselves in tiny little boxes of possibility. You can wear any color. Repeat after me, I can wear any color, any color, any color. If you were my client and, by the way, I have styled over 10,000 Americans one-on-one, so I have seen a lot of people. I've helped 10,000 people get dressed for the day. We have gotten dressed for TED Talks. We have gotten dressed for Carpool. We have gotten dressed for 20th High School Reunions. We've gotten dressed for people's children's weddings. I have gotten people dressed for every imaginable event. And you can wear any color.

Speaker 1:

Now, are you going to feel confident in every color is a different question and a more important one. How do these colors make me feel, not how do they make me look. If you change one thing about how you get dressed for the rest of your life, let it be this thing I am dressing for how I feel in the clothing, not how I look. I'm empowering myself to make that choice, to stand up and say I feel fantastic. It does not matter if I'm a cool summer, wearing a warm winter cue or however that works? I don't even know. You have to feel good in your clothes to look good in your clothes. That is what it means. To quote pull it off. When someone is not pulling something off, you hear that phrase like oh, I could never pull that off. That's because what you're actually saying is I don't feel confident in that and I'm going to feel awkward, so I'm therefore going to look awkward. If you feel confident, you're going to look more confident. You're going to look better. So can a framework help you feel more confident? Yes, if it's a tool that you are in control of and you say, okay, I have these guidelines and I'm going to use them loosely, but also, I'm still in control, so I know I can break them or I can shift them or I can mold them or I can apply them selectively, instead of using tools to build a prison around yourself where you say I could never. I really can't. This is impossible.

Speaker 1:

When I say you could wear any color, do I mean that every single color in a solid colored dress, like head to toe, would probably be equally good for you? No, but what I am saying is, let's say you were told you're only supposed to be wearing I don't know exactly blue hues with like cool undertones, but you love the red trend that's happening right now and you think, oh, I love the red trend. It feels so cute, it'd be great for holiday, but I can't wear it because I'm a I don't know whatever cool winner or whatever. That would be. No, how do you do that? You add it in in a creative way. You could wear red shoes. Anyone on the planet could wear red shoes. It does not matter what your skin tone is. Anyone on the planet could wear red shoes. It does not matter what your skin tone is. Anyone on the planet could carry a cute red handbag. So sure, you could wear like a nice gray sweater that has kind of a blue undertone and it's a cool color, with your favorite jeans and then add in your pop of color with your handbag or add it in with your shoes and then add in your pop of color with your handbag or add it in with your shoes. You don't have to go head to toe on a color that you aren't feeling as confident about, but if you love it, that's what matters.

Speaker 1:

Fashion is too ruled by confining regulations. Anytime I hear people say I could never. I want to say why. Who says when are the fashion police? I've been at this a long time and they've never shown up, and I do some weird stuff myself. So if the fashion police have not come for me, the fashion police have not come for me, they are probably not coming for you. It is about having a bigger mindset, a bigger possibility. If anyone's ever heard of the idea of abundance versus scarcity mindset, this is actually applying to your color in your life. We do not need to feel like there are so many rules and so many shouldn'ts.

Speaker 1:

Getting dressed should be fun. If you know Tan France, he's a celebrity stylist. He was on Queer Eye, that show. He's famous for saying if you're not a nudist, fashion is for you. For real, we all get dressed in the morning every single day.

Speaker 1:

Getting dressed does not have to be another part of your life that is arduous and confining and strict and full of shouldn't or guilt or like oh, I'm wearing a sweater, it's not the color I'm supposed to be in. No, it should be fun, reconnect with the joy. And especially, let's not put this on our kids. We should not be communicating to them that they are not pretty in certain colors and therefore it is not allowed. Because what are we really saying? That society demands that you show up as your prettiest self every single day and that that's the most important thing, not how you feel, not how you want to express yourself, not how you want to be heard in this world. No, it has to be pretty. I am not here for that and I know I'm kind of going on a soapbox here, but this is something I feel really strongly about because I see it robbing people of joy, robbing people of possibility, keeping them feeling stuck.

Speaker 1:

This I mostly am focusing on clothes, but it's true in your house too. I know people who've said, oh, I don't add color to my house because it's not as good for resale value, but like, this is your life, it's your home. What is the point of living somewhere for decades in a way that didn't feel authentic and then being like oh, I gave up decades of feeling authentic in my own home, my own space, just so I could possibly get slightly more. But you don't even know that when you sell it, that's even going to be true. Maybe they tear down your house and build a whole new one, like we're putting all these rules on ourselves, assuming that that's what other people want from us, but we're giving away our power. Also, this is related, but a slightly different reframe.

Speaker 1:

When you're getting dressed, I really encourage you to not focus on things that you're trying to hide or avoid. So don't get up and say, oh okay, I'm trying to hide my midsection and I'm hiding my arms, which those are the two most popular to hide your midsection and your upper arms, statistically for women. So I'm trying to hide these things and then I'm not going to wear these colors that are bad for me and I'm not going to wear this silhouette that someone told me Like, for example, I am a very classic hourglass shape. I'm busty, thinner waist, wide hips, like to the T hourglass. People say about hourglasses, you can't wear anything baggy. I'm here to tell you that's not true. I sometimes love a baggy sweater with leggings and it looks great and I feel confident and cozy in it and I'm here for it. So all these rules are something that you can let go of instead of focusing on what we shouldn't be doing or what we're avoiding or what we're hiding, because even if you are so successful, you wake up and you find the perfect outfit that hides your midsection. It hides your upper arms. It camouflages I don't know some other problem area. It's in the colors that someone told you and it's in the silhouette that, on paper, is great for your body type. So we'll say you've nailed all of those different points.

Speaker 1:

Where have you arrived? Where have you ended up? Well, best case scenario is that you have checked a bunch of negative boxes. You are successfully hiding yourself and you have successfully followed someone else's rules and regulations. Is that place that you've arrived in a place of joy, a place of confidence, a place of empowerment? I would say no, that is not those things. That is not those things. What could be a place of joy and empowerment is if you flip that switch.

Speaker 1:

You flip the script. You say I'm not going to worry about all the shouldn'ts and all the hiding. I'm going to pick something about myself that I really like and I'm going to highlight it. Do you see how different that mentality is? Maybe you have great legs and you're going to say, okay, you know what, I'm going to really enjoy my legs with a fitted pant, or maybe a slightly shorter skirt for a date night or whatever, and I'm going to feel good showing off an asset that I'm proud of, because maybe you work out and you really toned your legs and you feel great about them, or maybe people compliment your beautiful smile. So, instead of trying to hide, you're going to say, okay, I'm going to wear some fun statement earrings or a bright lipstick or a fun scarf and I'm going to highlight my face and my smile because that's an important part of me and that's the part that I want to greet the world with. If you do that, think of how much more empowering that is in the morning. Think of how much more confidence you will have going out into the world with. I'm putting my best future forward. I'm ready to smile and show the world that I'm here and I'm alive and I'm appreciating this day. Not that I'm hiding or I'm following arbitrary rules in this prison that I've built for myself. Okay, if you are listening and you're thinking, okay, I see, I see where you're coming from. But objectively, what colors do I buy? You buy what feels good, and that is going to take practice. And if you're not sure, you may have to experiment a little bit.

Speaker 1:

I recommend starting with what's in your closet. Go to your bathroom or wherever it is. Dump out your dirty clothes. Hamper that. Whatever is in your dirty clothes hamper is what you actually wear. It is your current and actual style. It is what you reach for. I know for me it's a lot of black. I love black. I wear a lot of black. I don't even know if that's my color on paper or not, but I wear black. I feel confident in black because I love a fun accessory. I don't wear only black, but I do wear a lot of it. I love a simple palette, or like a simple backdrop, I guess, and then a really quirky, fun accessory scarf, necklace, shoe, whatever. That's what works for me, but I've developed that system over time.

Speaker 1:

The other thing is, most of us don't shop with very much intention, if anything. Maybe you're using these rules to shop and you think, well, yeah, but having certain colors that I stick with helps me to hone in on shopping. What I would say is it's not that you have to hone in on certain colors. You have to be aware of what's in your closet, and this is just a matter of taking a little time on a Saturday afternoon or an evening where you have 30 minutes or an hour to yourself. A new season is kind of starting. It's getting cooler in much of the country. So the fall is here for most of us or it's close.

Speaker 1:

Take some time to really look at what were your favorite fall pieces last year. What did you really reach for? What pieces do you love but you don't wear very much because you don't have the right piece to go with it? Shopping with intention is not a bad thing, but the intention should be. I've looked at my clothing and I know what I need, and so I'm intentional about the category I'm buying in. Like I need new work pants or I need a neutral skirt that would pair back to this fun top I bought but I don't wear very often because I don't have the right thing to go with it for work. Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1:

I'm not saying that we can't have some sort of focus, but what I'm saying is you're still in control there. It's not a rule, it's a category. Maybe I need more going out things. Okay, so let's look at what I have, assess what fits, what feels good on my body, what doesn't. Am I ready to get rid of it or what does it need to help it feel better? Does it need a different shoe? Does it need a different accessory? Does it need to be in a different size and it's ready for us to get rid of that.

Speaker 1:

That's the intention that will help you have a better closet, because if you buy randomly just because you're in a certain color family, it is not going to solve the problem of waking up and feeling like, oh, I have a full closet but nothing to wear. No, you solve that problem by thinking by outfit, by looking at what you have and figuring out what pieces or what types of pieces you need to add in next to extend or revitalize pieces you already own. So if you caught my fall trends episode a couple weeks ago, maybe that's adding in a leopard print shoe, if you like that trend, and that'll jazz up some black or solid colored pieces that you already own, which, by the way, leopard doesn't just go with black like it looks fantastic with a red sweater or a purple sweater or really almost anything green orange. Those can all look amazing paired back to leopard. If you have a leopard skirt or just a black skirt or jeans with a bright colored sweater and then a leopard handbag or shoe or something like that, knowing that you have little touches of updates can really revitalize what you have, and actually leopard is a good example. I'm sure someone somewhere is not allowed to wear tan because it's not in their color season, but everyone on the planet could wear leopard. If you want to, you don't have to. If you don't like it, that's fine.

Speaker 1:

Like I said in the trends episode, I am not here for the barrel jeans on myself. I just don't. I just don't know that they are. They're just not. I just don't feel good in them and I don't even have an exact reason why I just I'm not feeling it. And for me, that is the most important question are you gonna put it on and feel excited and confident? Are you going to look at the piece in your closet and think this is the thing I am most excited to wear today? If you are, then it's great, it's fine, it does not matter what color it is.

Speaker 1:

So I know that was a little bit of a hot take on color, but this is something I feel so passionate about because I really think we can't connect to the joy and the creativity of fashion or interior design if we can't give ourselves permission to think bigger, to think bolder, to let go of all of the limiting and negative beliefs and comments that other people have put on us If you once were wearing whatever a purple top and someone told you it looked terrible on you. That kind of stuff we all have internalized over the years. Kind of stuff we all have internalized over the years. But it is time to put that aside, to free yourself, take back your power and say I'm going to show up in the world exactly the way I want to do, the way I want to, not how someone else is telling me, not according to rules. I'm going to show up today and I'm going to be the best version of myself and I'm going to wear whatever that is and I'm going to give my self permission to change. Over time I've been wearing more green this season. Green is not typically a color that I would say I'm super drawn to for either interiors or fashion, and I don't know, I've just been drawn to it this year.

Speaker 1:

So that's another thing. It's not going to be so rigid over your whole life. The idea that you're only going to wear like a few shades your whole life that's such a long time. Give yourself permission to evolve and to change and to try new things and just to be bigger, to take up more space in this world, to have your own power, and I would encourage you to encourage your kids to be that too. Let's not all message around being thin and being pretty and being pleasing. Let's message around feeling confident, feeling empowered, feeling your own sense of direction and getting in tune with what feels good. I mean, a lot of us can't do that as adults because we never practiced when we were younger, but I think this is such important work for ourselves and for our kids, and if you can really tune in to this idea and to giving yourself more freedom, even if it's in baby steps, I think that you will find such an impact on the rest of your life.

Speaker 1:

Because the importance of fashion is because it can have such a direct effect on how we show up in other parts of our lives. It is not important because of how we look. It is important because of how we feel, and how we feel directly correlates into the kind of wife we're being, the kind of mom we're being, the kind of career person we're being, the kind of friend we're being, the kind of woman we're being. And don't you want her to have the most possibility and the most joy and the most creativity? Because that's what I want for you to see a bigger picture. So I hope this was inspiring. I hope that you feel encouraged, that you feel encouraged, if you are living with a lot of rules, to just take a step back, really evaluate which ones are serving you, which ones are feeling confining, and I just encourage you to be bold, try something new and see if it gives you a little more confidence and a little more joy. Thank you for joining me today on Never Too Festive. I hope you are leaving feeling inspired and refreshed.

Speaker 1:

If you've loved what you've heard, don't keep it to yourself. Share this podcast with a friend who could use a little extra sparkle in her life. And hey, while you're at it, why not leave a review on your favorite podcast platform? Your feedback helps us continue to grow and inspire more women. Like you, have questions or feedback you want to share directly with me? Simply click the link in the show notes to send me a text. I'd love to hear from you until next time. Remember, all we have is today, so let's choose to live our most fabulous, joyful life together.