Never Too Festive: Parenting with More Joy & Less Mom Guilt

31. Releasing Mom Guilt and "Shoulds" to Embrace Holistic Parenting with Carli Saber

• Elizabeth Hambleton

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Have you ever felt lost in the whirlwind of motherhood, trying to balance your identity amidst the chaos of raising children? Carli Saber, a holistic parent consultant, joins us to share her transformative journey. From her days as a Montessori teacher to embracing alternative therapies like Psyche K, Carli offers valuable insights into the evolving landscape of parenting. Together, we explore how personal perceptions shape our interactions with children and parallel societal events like elections, urging mothers to redefine their parenting style and reclaim their sense of self.

Navigating the path to independence for your child is complex, and Carli sheds light on this delicate journey. We talk about the pressures parents face to push their children towards milestones, like summer camp, and the potential fallout from rushing this natural progression. Carli's personal stories and experiences emphasize the multifaceted nature of independence, advocating for trust in each child's unique timeline. By supporting their readiness and allowing them to explore self-reliance at their own pace, children can develop a strong sense of themselves without feeling inadequate.

We also highlight the critical role of self-care for mothers, underscoring how their well-being can positively impact the entire family. Through joyful rituals and addressing personal anxieties, we remind listeners that small moments of self-care are crucial for fostering a nurturing and balanced family environment.

Connect with Carli here.

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to another episode of Never Too Festive. I'm your host, elizabeth Hambleton. If you have ever been stuck in the shoulds, woulds and all of the feelings that come with navigating the motherhood journey and all the choices we make, then this episode is for you. We're unpacking some of those feelings we all embrace and, frankly, feel a little stifled by sometimes, and look at how we can have a really holistic and encouraging view forward. Hey there, mama, and welcome to Never Too Festive, the podcast where we celebrate the extraordinary in everyday motherhood. I'm Elizabeth Hambleton, your host and fellow mom, on a mission to help you rediscover your sparkle, redefine your style and reclaim your sense of self.

Speaker 1:

In the midst of motherhood mayhem. Do you ever feel like you've lost touch with the stylish, confident woman you used to be before kids? Are you tired of living in yoga pants and feeling like you've gone from thriving to just surviving? Well, mama, it's time to reclaim joy, creativity and style, while embracing the fabulous mom you were meant to be. So grab your iced coffee and join me as we embark on a stylish adventure together, because here on Never Too Festive, there's no such thing as too much sparkle, too much flair or too much celebration. Get ready to shine bright and live your most fabulous joyful life, because you deserve it. Today we have a special guest, carly Saber, who is a holistic parent consultant, and we're so thrilled to have you. Thanks for being here.

Speaker 2:

Hello, it's so great to be here and connect. It took a while because they're on like different sides of the world, but I'm so glad we got a right time that suited us and I'm excited for this conversation yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1:

That's actually one of the things that I love about podcasting is it brings together people literally across the world and and it's funny because you know like so many things about motherhood are different in different places, like the details, but really our shared experience is so similar and I would love if you told us a little bit about yourself and how you got into holistic parent coaching and how you got into holistic parent coaching.

Speaker 2:

So I have a background in education and psychology and I used to be a Montessori teacher, primary age, which was six to 12 years old, and I had a little class of six to nine year olds and I just saw a lot. I had a lot of children coming to the class that you know what the school system, the mainstream school system, wasn't working. There was lots of special needs, there was a lot of anxiety and I was just thinking, yeah, but what's happening here? Because this it hasn't always been the case. It wasn't like this when I grew up. It wasn't like this when I grew up.

Speaker 2:

If I spoke to teachers that had been working for 10, 20 years, they're seeing this different pattern and in that experience I started feeling very anxious. There was all these needs that I was not meeting and that led me on my own self-healing journey. Finding an alternative therapy, a subconscious modality called Psyche K, and using it made me really shift so much in my life and I wanted to share it. So that's how I jumped into leading the school system and supporting parents in a deeper way and children. I do sessions with all ages and just really helping parents understand their child. Mothers understand their background, their perceptions, because our perceptions obviously they shape our reality, and how we look at our child is what is potentially affecting a situation or exacerbating it, and if that makes sense, I can go into it in more details.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so that's how I started my journey and I just preach and I share and I get to work with mothers who really want to shift and support their children in a deeper way and heal their own beliefs, wounds, anxiety, to really show up for their children and, as we were speaking before, it's like branding motherhood and selling motherhood in their own way that feels right, instead of following these societal norms that don't normally work for everyone they obviously work for some, but mostly not and also guiding a personality. You've got this child in front of you that had their own specific needs and they're following their own path or multiple children and having to manage. That is a wild roller coaster. I get to be there and support parents to do that with my Montessori, my developmental-less background. So that's a little bit about me and how I got started and where I am now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's so fascinating. I would love to dig into, well, quite a few things, but let's start with the idea of sort of perception and reality. Here in the US we just finished an election, which is interesting and it's funny just because, however, we all feel about the results. It like elections are such a global or maybe not global a national demonstration of like how we can all live in essentially the same place or the same parts of the country and have such different perceptions about how it's going, what we should do, do like where we should change.

Speaker 1:

And I feel like families sometimes are a microcosm of that same thing, where you don't you do like you do run everything through the filter of your own childhood, your own expectations, your own sort of norms. Like my husband and I talk about this like, oh, you know when do they do this thing right, like when do they walk when they're little, or when should they be speaking or shit, how independent should they be at xyz age? And so many times as a parent, you don't know, and so you're kind of like, oh, is this quote-unquote normal or on track? And I can see how that would cause anxiety both for the parents and for the kids, because I've certainly had it in my life. So I'd be curious to know how you work with people and how they all navigate these questions.

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah, you're guiding and growing this child and you don't really have a manual book, or you do, and these manual books and this is something that I have lots of issues with a lot of the parenting books, these tactics and stuff, they may not feel right to you and you're just wanting to do the best that you can do and you're kind of not sure. You're just like doing what you're meant to be doing and it's a little bit of trial and error and testing, because there's only one of you and there's only one of them and you're in this space and time, which is different to when you were a child and it will be different to when they're an adult.

Speaker 2:

So you're trying to work with the world we live in right now.

Speaker 1:

Um, and there's nothing those greens like that's such a huge thing, like when our age was like not a thing and now it's like oh my gosh, reinventing parenthood exactly yeah.

Speaker 2:

So you can't compare it and it's it's tricky and it's difficult and doesn't matter how many sessions I do with someone you know or how much I know about children, when I work with them they're going to push my brother, my buttons, and they trigger me just as much as anyone else. You know we're going to make mistakes in the journey. So as, as you were saying, it is like when we look at a child or a child's behavior, we're looking through our lens and that's our perception. So two adults with completely different lives, completely different beliefs, can be looking at this child and have completely different responses, and that response can therefore have an effect on the child as well. As you said, ourselves.

Speaker 2:

It's like if we've come from our perception of having low self-wealth or feeling anxious or not really understanding for the full extent what's happening, then we're coming with that perception.

Speaker 2:

So it can turn a really small situation into a really big problem, or it can turn a really big problem into a small situation, which also isn't good because that's probably going to exacerbate a problem even more. That needs to be dealt with. So it's really about and with the work I do, as I said, I do it in two ways I help people understand the child and their developmental milestones and where they're at and their needs on more of that kind of macro level of all children around the world. And then we look at more the micro level who is that child and what are their needs and who are you and what are your needs? And really we clear and shift a lot of those limiting beliefs. And when we start understanding them and shifting them for the better, this is where you see these beautiful results and beautiful understanding of self calmness to really start going with the flow and creating this beautiful rhythm with your own style to support your child and yourself in the process.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm so curious, like when, because I have two kids and I do feel like they have really different personalities and different learning styles and different reactions to we're not going to say punishment, because I know punishment is kind of a hot thing, but just like correction or kind of redirection of hey, we're not going to do this, let's, you know, try this instead. They have such different responses. How do you balance, like your needs as the parent and kind of your style and then having two different styles of kids, but also kind of keeping the perception of fairness, like how does that all work together in a system?

Speaker 2:

keeping the perception of fairness, like how does that all work together in a system? Yeah, so it's always a bit funny and messy and it's never set in stone. So this is why there isn't really like a one, like a one size fit all. Okay, what you should now do is create this rule in your house and stick to this routine, because it can't be right. Like your child is ever-changing, you're always busy, we go through our cycles, we go through different like school term cycles and you have these different children. So it's creating a routine and rules that create fairness, but within those, a little bit more uniqueness of like.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I can see that you need a bit more discipline and you need a bit more push, or you won't do anything. So you're saying to that one specific child here these are our agreements of what we're going to do and what I would like to see in you. And then to another child who might, like, might be a little bit more insecure when they get that that kind of push, because they internalize it. They need validation, external validation. They still need to be given this, the same rules or even agreements, but in a more gentle way and as children get older as well, they can be part of this conversation.

Speaker 2:

So look in order to. We want to learn from our heart, but an external person and a parent who has a fully developed brain can really help you. But this is just helping you get better and you get better skills. It's not for me, it's not to please me. I'm just wanting to give you these suggestions to support you. So say, if it's homework and you know your child really doesn't like getting corrected and they internalize it, they've done the wrong thing. So like, hey, do you want me to correct you because I can see how we can make this better?

Speaker 2:

just having those conversations of like yes, sometimes when this happens you get a bit upset, like you've done the wrong thing, but we all make mistakes right and um, and I don't care if you make mistakes, I'm just doing this to help you get better, not so that you get a better mark for me. Coming back to those conversations, and it can be difficult because there are some personalities that just have this strong sense of needing to impress and not needing to be wrong and needing to be validated by the external, even if they've come from a family who's never really put that pressure on them. So, yeah, finding ways to address and respond to the child as well as say like, hey, this is what I'm observing in you, so that they work through it. And I know you said your child is at Montessori. This is a Montessori.

Speaker 2:

It's like when you're working with a child, you are planting the seed and you're giving them the skills and you're giving them all the juicy things they need to be this fully developed, holistic, well-rounded human being. And you may not see it until, you know, 10 years later or 20 years later or like. I might not ever see it, because I might be working with a child and I may see all the struggle and eventually it will click in at some older stage. So it can take years, but we're just doing it, hoping that we're giving them all the nutrients and planting that seed with all the love and sunlight and waiting for that readiness for them to grow and shine into this beautiful, fully developed tree with beautiful fruit yeah, I think that that's well.

Speaker 1:

Like you said, it's definitely a very Montessori idea, but it's really, I think it encompasses pretty much all parenting, because really we're all hoping that we're instilling you know the critical thinking and the values and the. You know all the things that you don't necessarily see the result immediately, but you hope when they're older and when they're sort of independent, right, and I talk to my kids about this like, why are you learning to do this on your own? I could do it for you, but I'm not always going to be here to, like, hand you your water cup or whatever. Right, you have to learn these skills for the day when you're on your own, and I think it can be. What's hard about parenting, too, is that. It's just that sometimes the harvest is unclear, right?

Speaker 2:

Exactly, and I think there is a big issue with societal norms of making sure that this happens, and happens really quickly yeah, and as you said about in wonders.

Speaker 2:

We want these independent, productive children who want to do it themselves.

Speaker 2:

And, yes, at 18 or 20 we want a child who's like, ready to go out in the world and be independent and you know what they're gonna be, because it's very rare that you're going to have a child that gets to 20 or 25 or 30 and wants to still be living in their home and dependent on their parents.

Speaker 2:

But we forget that that's we're helping and giving them the skills for when they become an adult and we're saying, no, you need to be independent now and you need to do this now. It's like, yes, you want to give them the skills to do it, you know that, so that they can cook for themselves and they can shop for themselves and they can have a great organized life. But that's only when they become an adult. You know it's like it's it's quite a far way away and it actually does the opposite, because codependency and when we give them lots, that supports them until they're ready to say, hold up, I want to do this myself, I don't need you there. And then we're like, oh cool, you're ready. When we say, no, you've got to do this, you've got to do this.

Speaker 2:

That actually pushes them to not want to do it so it's yeah, it's such a fine line exactly in the sense, in the independence and giving them support is setting them up to successfully do it for themselves when they're ready, but actually giving them as much as they need and holding their hand until that moment's off, because that pushing and saying you've got to do this, I'm not gonna be here, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1:

It's like, yeah, well, when they get to that stage and when their brain is completely different and they're thinking completely different, they're probably going to flick that switch and know that anyway right and I think two people forget that there's more than one kind of independence, like getting your homework done after school might be grade level independent for a certain kid, but I was a kid who did not want to go to summer camp until much older. My kids do not want to go to summer camp like a sleepaway camp. And I've had this conversation with my husband because he loved to summer camp and was ready to be emotionally independent younger than I was as a child and he's like why are they not ready Like kids to summer camp and was ready to be emotionally independent younger than I was as a child. And he's like why are they not ready Like kids love summer camp. A third grader should be ready to go to summer camp for a week on their own.

Speaker 1:

Well, my kids are terrified of the idea of summer camp. Like do not send me cry if we even mention the idea. Would anyone want to go for an overnight one right now on day camp? But so it's like not all of us reach every like. My kids are incredibly independent. In some ways they're very conscientious about the day to day stuff, but they don't, for whatever reason, feel ready to like go for a week alone and they never were in daycares and different things. They were just more used to being here. But it is. It's like I think sometimes we try to force it like it's a one encompassing idea of independence, but like there's really so much nuance to it wait a minute?

Speaker 2:

yeah, totally, and it is. It's like, as we were just speaking before, like, oh, my child doesn't, they don't want to sleep awake, but they won't be able to be ready to be alone. This could be created into a big problem if you weren't like seeing it that way and understanding and respecting the child, their readiness, understanding you as a person, in your personality, your husband and his personality, and going okay, like does this really matter?

Speaker 2:

and those are the things that are really important, because, unfortunately, those are big issues, you know and people are like, oh, my child isn't going to go to school, to camp, they're really anxious but blast, and then it can create this huge um knock-on effect. And if you do have a child who internalizes, I'm not emotionally ready, I don't really realize or know that, but now I'm validating that there's something right like I've been things wrong with me, right.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, I have like spirals later.

Speaker 2:

Okay, exactly. So there's just all these ways of having to approach and acknowledge and see and, you know, go okay. Well, I didn't, but much later I was. And we do really hope that they do have that experience and just trusting that in that child's readiness they will jump on the bandwagon of the fun summer camp that I'm sure your husband is like have kid, it's so fun, I want to get them into it. But like needing to trust that readiness in themselves.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and for anyone who's listening, who is thinking like, yeah, a lot of this is resonating, but I don't even know, like, what I need or what would the next step be like. Can you tell us a little more about what you help people with, kind of more specifically, or how do people know if additional support in these areas would benefit them?

Speaker 2:

Totally so. I work with a lot of people and parents and it is they're coming to, coming to me with the situation with their child and they just feel like I don't know what to do. I feel a bit uncertain and when my child reacts, a swag, I I don't know. You know, um, and just to side to side note your question, it's like we come from a world where discipline used to be very um, get like, get rid of the behavior so like smack the child or like scream at the child and it worked because we did that and the behavior was gone.

Speaker 2:

We now know that that like removing the behavior doesn't actually remove anything. It just makes the child feel scared of you or not do that behavior in front of you, which normally turns into doing it behind your back. So most people are aware of that kind of tactic doesn't really work before and like um from a psychology point of view there's been so many um studies done and like looking at the brain and how that physical and emotional abuse doesn't support people. It just puts them in anxiety and actually has a worse effect for them. And they normally have that own their own experience where they're like I had all this discipline and no love and now I'm confused. So now they're wanting to do it the better way and the calmer way and like more with some more support.

Speaker 2:

But it's a bit confusing because they're like how can I support my child and be firm, that be gentle, and like not like you know, have the childhood I had where I got like spanked or this or that and and it's tricky because that this is like the fine line of being able to be like hold the child also support them. Yeah, so this is what I really hope. Yes, it's tricky because you're like I want to like show up to my child and I want them to be seen as respected and loved, but at the same time, they're crossing boundaries and they're being really really like disrespectful. You know I have responsibilities for them to do this and this and they're being really really like disrespectful, right, you know I have possibilities for them to do this and this and they're manipulating the situation, right, which is, I feel like we always correct too, like from our parents, like our bar, like in your example, like the, the childhood was like maybe too strict and like not enough affection.

Speaker 1:

and then you know, like I feel like millennials are famous for like going the opposite, right, so then it's all love, no discipline, but like, well, you know, kids do need some amount of directing, like that's why they're not adults yet. And then you know, it's hard to find that middle ground, I think for a lot of us.

Speaker 2:

And we're over sharers, like the baby boomers. They came out of the war, they don't talk and like now we want to talk and we discuss and like we want to put a lot on our children. Oh, I see you're doing this and now you don't have the responsibility to do this, it's, it is a bit confusing and it's a lot. So yeah, I thought parents, when they come to me with a bit of uncertainty, was feeling a little bit like I don't know how to deal with this situation. We kind of discuss and go into this holistic understanding of who they are and what's maybe causing this uncertainty, and then understanding their child and who they are and giving them practical tools to support the children. Um, as well as deep diving into what might be pressing the bat, like the button, what might be causing this uncertainty or anxiety, and just, I am no nonsense we get right to them. You know, like, oh, you're feeling a bit uncertain, why and it's unworthiness, it might be fear, it might be if I discipline my child, they won't like me, because I hated when my parents did this and just getting to make sure those juicy root causes of the issue. So then, once we strip them away, it's like hold on, like my child will always love me if I set boundaries and I tell them that they need to be doing those things. And you know, because I do Psyche, which is the subconscious work which is part of the sessions which I can speak about, it's really connecting with the subconscious. I'll have people come to me and they'll be like I know that I should be doing this better and I know I should be helping my child, but when I come to it I just like freeze because I don't want to, I don't want to like hurt their feelings or trigger them. But then other times I just get so exhausted and I blow up and I'm angry mom, and I don't want to be doing that either.

Speaker 2:

So we go okay, what is possibly going on there? And it may be because, as we've spoken before, they have this subconscious belief that they, their parents, won't be, their children won't like them, because of something that happened for them. And the coolest thing about it is when things start blowing up. Say, it's your child who's eight years old. It's probably connected to something that happened to you when you were eight-year-old and you're fully projecting and you're seeing your little inner eight-year-old and then it's creating all all these issues, but it's actually healing the part of you that had some limiting beliefs or had some issues that occurred at that age and stage, and now there's this big mirror coming about. So those are some of the things that I work on during the session. And, yeah, the site Kate and I meant is subconscious work. It is connecting to the subconscious, finding limiting beliefs and shifting through them, through a whole brain integration process yeah, that sounds amazing.

Speaker 1:

I've noticed this too as like a red flag in my own parenting that like, sometimes my kid can come home and tell me a story about I don't know whatever.

Speaker 1:

So say, someone you know like didn't want to sit with you at lunch, and then it hurt your feelings and you as the parent, you can kind of just listen and feel neutral and be like, oh, you know, like right, you can like take it in and it's it's more neutral.

Speaker 1:

And then there's times when they come home and they say, I mean my kid didn't like actually have this, but just say, like they come home and they say, I mean my kid didn't like actually have this, but just say, like they come home and they're like my teacher called me stupid in front of the class or something, and you can get like you get that emotional rise and you know like this is hitting my subconscious, wounding, because maybe, like that happened to you or like you know it's like it. I have seen this in my own journey where certain things really do mirror or trigger things, where you're like, oh, this was a wounding for me, or this happened to me or this was hard for me, and then it is. I think it does make it harder in those situations to stay really neutral.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, as this is this guide, totally, and this is really the journey and the process and you're going to get it wrong, because they're humans and we always have our buttons pressed and it's very, very hard to not lose it, depending on where we are and without work and our sleep.

Speaker 2:

But, yeah, like having those moments that, okay, we can watch, we're getting triggered and, just, you know, remove ourself from a situation and come, you know, with a calmness and then when we come with the calmness, normally the certainty starts to open up and you know, if it were that situation, we could be like what happened before, what happened after. Okay, well, sometimes teachers say things like that when they're really stressed and they don't mean it. Remember when you said x, y, y and Z to your sibling and do you really love them? You do, but you said I hate you, I don't love you, but your guard dog is what I call it. You know your amygdala, your anxiety, your fight was up. I call it the guard dog with children, which is from this beautiful program program, an Australian program. They use all different like analogies to support the brain and, um, we go like, yeah, we can have so much compassion for that teacher because it sounds like they were really upset that day, but it's not appropriate to call someone right be good yeah

Speaker 2:

maybe we need to have a chat with them, maybe we need to just speak about it and like and again, as you're saying, if it's a child who really internalizes things from children, from parent, from teachers or parents or adult, then we have to go okay, like, what do you think about yourself? Like, where do you see yourself as smart? And then support them to start growing that. You know that growing that validation and it's tricky and that takes a long time and it's a lot of energy to like, support the children that way. But those moments can be like really beautiful learning moments of like that person had that experience. You had this experience.

Speaker 2:

We can find compassion, and then we can also find some like compassion and love in ourself. Like why did that hurt us so much? Because we're always trying to impress, but we need to see ourself as really good enough and not stupid, but actually smart, and how we shine that they're actually smart and how we showing so it it opens up. Yeah, as I said it, if we can do this in a way where we can catch ourself and really go, how can I solve this problem and support something that's coming up and actually turn it into this beautiful learning experience um is the most incredible thing, because we're turning something that's dark into light and it takes time and it's an up and down journey and you're not going to be able to do that every single day, but that is the hope and that is my, my like.

Speaker 2:

You know why I'm so passionate? Because it's like children deserve better and actually, if we're checking ourselves and we're learning and working through these things, those opportunities can become the most special, bonding, deep, epiphany breakthroughs for our child and they deserve it. You know, they deserve the time, they deserve our calmness. So we want people to treat us with respect and be calm in our presence and we want our children to turn into children like that. So this is, this is the job of the parent yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1:

I think it is.

Speaker 1:

I agree with you that it's such a time for connection and like, with vulnerability and honesty, it can be like a time for really building trust, which is so important in those younger years.

Speaker 1:

Mine are starting to approach like the tween, you know, heading towards the teen years and like you want to have built those bridges in the earlier years. And I think one thing you said is that it takes a lot of energy, and I think one takeaway for everyone listening is like you have to prioritize self-care for yourself, because if you are at the end of your rope, like we just don't, as the mom, have the bandwidth to be implementing some of this stuff, I think, effectively if we are, like you know, swimming and drowning and underwater and struggling, and it is really a testament to why I think taking care of yourself is so important for your whole family, so that you have that reserve to pull from when things happen, because a lot of times they happen kind of out of the blue. Right, you don't know the day that your kid's gonna come home crying because Jojo on the swing set, you know, told her whatever you know.

Speaker 2:

So it's such an important part of kind of creating that whole healthy dynamic for the family yeah, and I, I can do you know, a psyche, this healing medallion with everyone, and I do, I get you know, I start working with the mothers and then I, I work with the dad and even the grandpas and the uncles and, um, anyone and everyone. But I truly believe and this is quite traditionally traditional it's not always the case that the mother is really holding the space and running the show and a lot of mothers come to me in the book late, like you need to do sessions with the like my child, and like they're like questionable, of like, should children be doing therapy?

Speaker 2:

and that's like a whole different conversation that we can go into if that's where it leads. But I am always like I am happy to, but I need to work with you first and you need to sit and do this. Um, you know, and it might be an uncomfortable and we might need to go into your insecurities and your anxieties. However, when you are filling your cup and you are doing that work, it has the biggest knock-on effect.

Speaker 2:

And I actually it was so funny because I preach this and I am an adult and I went recently to South Africa with my family and my mom was quite anxious about something while we're there and it literally it was for about three days and we were all a bit uptight and anxious and then my brother and I we like sat down, we had a bit of an intervention and she's like I don't know how to fix this problem and we kind of helped her. It was, um, she is originally from South Africa, so it was something to do with like paperwork and stuff that she had to deal with and she hasn't been there for 35 years so it was just all a bit too much for us. But finally, when we solved the problem, like it changed the whole dynamic of the holiday right and like we are adults, and it's still trickling down, yeah, yeah it was like crazy.

Speaker 2:

I'm like oh no, this is so funny.

Speaker 1:

The holidays are coming up. I think we can all feel this, that like there is definitely still a trickle down, even if you're an adult.

Speaker 2:

Exactly so. Like unapologetically, like have your self-care day, but to be doing self-care every single day, no matter how little it is. Like unapologetically, um, put you know, invest in the sessions for you because that's going to affect you and your child. Like I, parents are like, oh my god, my child drastically changed and they were so good after your session. But like now they're like coming back to it, like can we do another session with you? And I was like, but you guys actually need a change because the dynamic is going to keep on happening until you do that. Well, right, because you can see the potential with me, but a one hour session with me is not going to support the child compared to all the sessions that you're starting to implement. Like change and shift, and then they're having that all the time at home and whenever they're in your presence. Right, shift, and then they're having that all the time at home and whenever they're in your presence, right. So, yeah, like mamas, put yourself first.

Speaker 1:

Like fill your cup, it's so essential it's actually like the most selfless thing that you can do for your family. Yeah, no, I totally agree. And that actually brings us really well to a question that I ask every guest here on. Never Too Fast, dave, and that's for a petite plaisir, and this is, if you're new listening, this is a little something. It's like a little luxury. That's French for like little luxury, a little pleasure. And we ask each guest to share with us some little thing that is bringing them joy or peace or happiness in their life, because, to your point, like we don't need to wait for the full spa day, because for a lot of us that could be a long wait. It's like, how do we bring little moments of joy into our day? And I love being inspired by what other people are doing.

Speaker 2:

So mine is once a week I wake up and I do yoga every single morning and me and my fiance kind of do that.

Speaker 2:

We have this pattern where, you know, we wake up and we do our own little practices If that's journaling, yoga, chanting, like whatever we need to do to center ourselves and our little novel thing that we do in the week is one day a week we do it a little bit later that's normally on the weekend and then we just stay in bed and we chat and we have pillow talk and we snuggle and it's just such a novelty of like not having to get out of bed and do it before the week, of like clients and stuff, and it's just like staying in bed a little bit longer, even like having a tea in bed or reading together. It's just a cute little novel bonding experience. So that is mine. It's like staying in bed a little bit longer and like waking up without the alarm and just giving yourself just like time to be in in bed, just which is huge for me, because I normally wake up and with half an hour I'm on the meth. So, um, it's the best.

Speaker 1:

it's the best kind of like special, um little special weekly treat yeah, I can feel that my we do that a lot with my kids and they get mortally offended if I get up, like before them on a weekend or like obviously for school we don't really have that time. But on the weekends or like a holiday or summer break or something, they love to come cuddle in our bed, even though they're not babies anymore, they're like 10 and 8, but, um, they love to come cuddle and like just relax in bed. I agree, there's like nothing hits quite like that. A slow morning in bed, yeah, it's like the best little half.

Speaker 2:

All you need is that presence bonding, no phones, cuddle, moaning, and it shifts obviously the whole day and then shifts the whole week.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like literally good, clean fun. What else do you need? That's awesome, I love it, and we definitely agree, we do that too. You need uh, that's awesome, I love it and we definitely agree, we do that too. So if someone wanted to dive a little deeper or get extra support in any of these things that we've talked about, how can they connect with you?

Speaker 2:

so you can connect to me on Instagram or through my website or by emailing me. I know that we had a bit of issue with time zones, so I have a discovery call that, if you want to work with me, we always have a chat. We see if it's a good fit, but if that's a time that's not coming up for you, it's in the middle of your night, just email me and I can connect time to work. If it's like email or DM or Instagram or even Facebook, it's linked to my Facebook business page. So, yeah, carly Saber, carlysabercom carlysaber on Facebook. It's very, it's very simple. It's just my name and then, yeah, like on my Instagram, I try to put up daily little reminders, hacks, developmental tools and information. So join me there if you want to learn more and you want to be understanding how to guide your child, understanding how to support your child without feeling the ickiness of discipline or just, you know, coming into your center in order to parent holistically.

Speaker 1:

I love that and we will add those links in the show notes to make it easy for anyone. So just go down there and click and you can find her. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, it was great. Loved the conversation. Have a great afternoon.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining me today on Never Too Festive. I hope you are leaving feeling inspired and refreshed. If you've loved what you've heard, don't keep it to yourself. Share this podcast with a friend who could use a little extra sparkle in her life. And hey, while you're at it, why not leave a review on your favorite podcast platform? Your feedback helps us continue to grow and inspire more women like you. Have questions or feedback you want to share directly with me? Simply click the link in the show notes to send me a text. I'd love to hear from you until next time. Remember, all we have is today, so let's choose to live our most fabulous, joyful life together.