Never Too Festive: Parenting with More Joy & Less Mom Guilt

38. From Stress to Serenity: An Intro to Breathwork with Jenny Cheifetz

• Elizabeth Hambleton

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Transform your mind and body through the power of breathwork as we sit down with life and breathwork coach Jenny Cheifetz. Together, we uncover how intentional breathing can heal trauma, bring relaxation, and confront personal challenges, much like skiing or diving allows one to escape daily stressors. My own journey from skepticism to awe at the effectiveness of guided breathwork sessions serves as a testament to its transformative potential, and Jenny shares invaluable insights into how this practice can lead to profound personal growth.

Busy moms, we're talking to you! Discover breathwork as a practical, quick stress-relief tool that fits seamlessly into even the most hectic schedules. We break down techniques like box breathing and pulse breathing, offering you straightforward ways to reclaim calm and set intentions amidst daily chaos. You don't need hours for exercise or therapy; breathwork is accessible anywhere, providing a lifeline for those who struggle to find the time for more extended stress relief measures.

But the benefits don't stop at stress management. Breathwork is a gateway to mental clarity, creativity, and self-discovery. As we explore these additional aspects, we emphasize the value of guided sessions, which can uncover hidden traumas and deepen understanding of our behaviors. Meanwhile, on a lighter note, we celebrate the simple joys of leisure activities like reading, sharing how they can be guilt-free escapes that enrich our lives. Join us for this enlightening conversation, as we encourage integrating these practices into your routine for a healthier, more relaxed life.

Connect with Jenny:
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2025 New Vibe Workshop

Speaker 1:

After the busyness of the holidays, there's something about January that can feel like a breath of fresh air. And, speaking of breath, if you've ever been interested in the science behind breath work which is kind of the art of breathing and the amazing impact that it can have on your mental and physical health, this episode is for you. Hey there, mama, and welcome to Never Too Festive, the podcast where we celebrate the extraordinary in everyday motherhood. I'm Elizabeth Hambleton, your host and fellow mom, on a mission to help you rediscover your sparkle, redefine your style and reclaim your sense of self. In the midst of motherhood mayhem.

Speaker 1:

Do you ever feel like you've lost touch with the stylish, confident woman you used to be before kids? Are you tired of living in yoga pants and feeling like you've gone from thriving to just surviving? Well, mama, it's time to reclaim joy, creativity and style, while embracing the fabulous mom you were meant to be. So grab your iced coffee and join me as we embark on a stylish adventure together, because here on Never Too Festive, there's no such thing as too much sparkle, too much flair or too much celebration. Get ready to shine bright and live your most fabulous, joyful life, because you deserve it. Shine bright and live your most fabulous joyful life, because you deserve it. Hello and welcome to another episode of Never Too Festive. I'm your host, elizabeth Hamilton. Today we have a very special guest, jenny Chaffetz, and she is a life and breath work coach and we are so happy to have you on.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. I already feel like god.

Speaker 1:

I should have worn something sparkly, sequin, like a little more offensive, but oh well, well, we're coming out of the holidays, so it's okay if everyone's ready to take a little break from that and get back into their comfy clothes. I I feel like January is my like very casual month, recovering. So you know we love everyone. Come as you are at this show.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's my year, my yearly attire.

Speaker 1:

As long as you, you know, do you? That's what counts really. I love breathwork and I first heard about it a couple of years ago, but before I stumbled across it on the wide internet, I did not know what it was. So for anyone who heard the word breath work and is not familiar, I think we should definitely start there. What is it and like, how does it benefit us?

Speaker 2:

So funny, same same thing. Before I got into it, I mean, maybe maybe people say this about anything before you got into yoga you didn't know what yoga was, but I had never heard of breathwork. I mean, before I was meditating, I knew what meditating was because that's just kind of in the vernacular, but breathwork, what? So I was in my life coaching program and that particular trainer, teacher, also certifies in breathwork, so she was kind of infusing it in and it became normal once I was in that. But the first time she mentioned it and other people are nodding their heads like oh great, I'm so glad that's part of this program I'm like what, what? What is she doing? What are we doing?

Speaker 2:

So it's super cool, as you know, but for your listeners, it's using the power of our own breath to create something different within us. I mean, we can heal trauma. That's like on one big end of the spectrum and I feel like the other end of the spectrum is just, you know, feel relaxed, and so then there's everything in between it's. Do you want to work through some kind of problems? Are you trying to become someone different? And we get to do this by focusing on our breath, doing specific patterns.

Speaker 2:

And when we do that, when we're truly focused on our breath, it's, you know, maybe like if you were skiing down a mountain something. So in your body you're not really thinking about anything else, but that thing like maybe someone who's going off a diving board, like you get in kind of in the zone of what you're doing and you're not thinking a diving board. Like you get in kind of in the zone of what you're doing and you're not thinking, oh, did I send in my tax bill or did it like did I leave the stove on? You're not in that chaos, you're just doing it. And so when you're breathing and you focus on the breath, now all of a sudden your body is doing cool stuff for you and you're not thinking about all. Your body is doing cool stuff for you and you're not thinking about all your the, just the agenda ticking through your brain, you're healing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that's a great mental sort of image for people who haven't tried it. It's like why people love distance running or distance swimming. It's that same sense of calm, but without all the physical exertion and having to be outside and you're like you know, planning it totally.

Speaker 1:

Um. And the thing about breath work that I was surprised about if you're listening and you haven't ever tried it, if I'm honest, it sounds like fluffy, like how hard could this really be? Like I'm gonna'm going to breathe in and out and you know, like shabang, shaboom, like yeah, it's really going to happen. I was shocked at the intensity of the experience when I tried, like true facilitated breath work in a specific pattern and it's way more than I think it sounds like it is if you have never experienced it.

Speaker 2:

Totally. And I remember telling I have one particular girlfriend who's into growth and different modalities, so she's kind of my woo friend who you know knew about tapping way before I knew what tapping was and had gone on a spiritual retreat before I knew what those were. And so when I told her I think I'm going to go get certified in breathwork, she's like oh my God, I went on this retreat, she did, she did a program years ago, went by herself and they paired people in rooms for the duration. She was in Palm Springs for a week and she's like that girl that I roomed with. She woke up and did breath work every day and it was like witnessing an exorcism or whatever that version that person was doing, or someone kind of doing a marathon without leaving the room. She was all in doing her pattern and thrashing and emoting and just purging all of her toxic energy into the room and my friend just laid in her bed watching, like it was you know, I don't know like a zoo, uh, exhibit or something.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, thank you, yes yeah, no, if you didn't know what was happening, I think that would be quite an experience, because you would need some warning. Uh, that that's what's gonna happen for sure, because and that's it, I think that's what's going to happen For sure, because I think that actually brings up a really interesting point about breathwork is I've always done it. Well, it's not true. I've done it two different ways.

Speaker 1:

I've done it sort of online through a girl I followed on Instagram and she would do lives every morning at eight and she would like walk across the beach da, da, da, and then she would do it. And so it was. She was live and I was essentially live with her and there were hyped reactions. But I you have your eyes or I had my eyes closed, so it was essentially kind of one-on-one with no real back and forth. But I've also done it on zoom type calls where people were actually interacting more with each other. So like it was like a facilitated breath work and you would like log on it, whatever, like 8 pm, and then they would do it, and then you would kind of talk about your experience and stuff.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, debrief yeah.

Speaker 1:

So like you've got more of that sense of how did it go, and it's interesting that, having all done the same pattern of breathing, how varied the experience was for all of us, and like I tend to feel sleepy after I do it, because I think it is that kind of like a good workout where you like do it and then you feel that relaxed like kind of feeling when you're done. That's what I tend to do and then get sleepy but like other people felt like super energized by it, which I guess is also like exercise. I feel tired after exercise if I take a shower. If I do a hard workout and take a shower, I can nap immediately like nobody's business. I know other people are like I exercise to work, like to get energy, which is not my experience. So I mean, but it is interesting how unique it is.

Speaker 2:

For sure, For sure. Yeah, I a lot of times I fall asleep in the middle of it and don't make it through. There was one time I missed years ago. I missed picking a kid up at school and it was really bad and I even told the facilitator I was doing something on Zoom and I think it was one-on-one, and I even said to her here's my phone number, Please call me when we're done, Because if I fall asleep I need to go pick somebody up. I need to be awake. And I missed her calls. I missed her Like I was out. I was legit calls. I missed like I was out. I was legit out. So that was not what I wanted. I could see that.

Speaker 1:

There was a while, like for a little bit, where if I couldn't sleep, I would like pull out my phone and do a little just like replay of the lives that I would watch on Instagram, and then it would make me sleepy. It was just like a natural way to fall asleep without you know, like, yeah, I use it, or whatever Exactly.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. No, I use it in the middle of the night. If I have to get up to use the bathroom, I'll get back in bed and it's like, oh, I'm kind of awake Should. I pull up my iPad and read Because I know that'll make me fall asleep and I'm like, no, I don't want to get out the iPad. Then what?

Speaker 1:

if I get into the book, then, yeah, oh, me too I might. Actually I would read for like hours. That would not make me sleepy, right, right.

Speaker 2:

What if I actually get into it? I'm like no, Jenny. Do what you know works and just follow your breath, Just focus on the breath. Do a simple pattern that is, you know, calming, relaxing, and let that work.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and for anyone who has never tried it, when you say pattern like what do you mean by that? I think of like box breath, like there's different flows of air that have different terms or names, and then usually the instructor will be like they'll demonstrate them and then they kind of put you through them. But is there a way you could explain that for someone who doesn't know what that means? For sure, for sure.

Speaker 2:

So all day long we're breathing, like unconsciously, we're just. Our body knows how to just do its thing. When we're focused, we could do something as simple, like the simplest pattern is just inhaling through the nose, exhaling from the mouth, like very simple. If you were to get upset, you might. You might think, you know, take a deep breath, like all right, I got to just relax. I'm going bonkers in this moment, let me just like. We do that's breath work in its simplest form, right. But so the easiest pattern or the most common pattern would just be inhaling, exhaling.

Speaker 2:

The key is to focus on it, be intentional about it, so that it's an actual practice. You're connecting your breaths, it's not just an isolated thing, but you're actually inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Other patterns could be, like you said, the box breath, which is inhale, hold, exhale, hold. Or, you know, count the seconds, like 1, 2, 3, 4, hold 1, 2, 3, 4, release 1, 2, 3, 4. Pulse breath is another fun one, where it's like two inhales, two exhales. I mean you can do 2, 3, 4, 6. But if you were to do like inhale, inhale, exhale, exhale, something very simple like that, there's others that I'll use if the point is to get energized or be, you know, a more powerful breath that might really move something. If you've got some specific frustration or trauma that you know you want to work through, I might bring that. So there's different patterns for different intentions.

Speaker 1:

That's interesting.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I try to think breath work is all intention based. So your intention could be again as simple as you sort of feel calm. You know, the holidays really jacked me up and I want to. I just I need to release. I just want to get back to a steady pace. Do that, or you could. The intention could be I want to open myself up to love. I. You know I'm sick of being lonely. I'm ready. I want to feel open to that. I want to feel more grateful. I need to work through grief so people could come in. It's almost like for anyone who's ever been to therapy your therapist might say so. You know what's. What are we working on today?

Speaker 2:

You know what's? Yeah, right, what's happening, happening, it's kind of like that, except that then the beauty of the breath work is that we don't need to interact again. So if you're not looking to do talk therapy and I'm not a therapist but if you're not looking to really talk it out but you do want to work it out, like those people who say they exercise to work out their stress, right, we. We can breathe Like that subconscious releasing.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, and movement is a way to like physical movement is a way to move energy in our body. So if you are stressed or angry or annoyed about something, you could definitely go, pound the pavement and, you know, get your steps in and do it that way. This is an alternative where you get to lie in your cozy house and still get a desired feeling.

Speaker 1:

Well, our listeners are moms on this show, and the thing that I really like about breathwork is that I know in my life it's not always practical to be like hey guys, I'm gonna take 30 minutes and go for a run, so like y'all are good here, I mean like I gotta find child care.

Speaker 2:

Don't touch the stove, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I mean it's like a production to get out of the house.

Speaker 2:

My kids aren't babies, but they're not, yeah, independent beings quite yeah, there's a big stretch of time between baby and can I like go on a like a day out with my friends? Yeah, or get my hair done.

Speaker 1:

This is much easier and more accessible to just insert, like even 30 seconds. You know you go to the bathroom and do it in peace, or you can do it right at your stove, or I mean my kids are old enough that I could be like I need five minutes, mommy is just, yeah, needing some time guys, and like even set a timer and be like you can't come in until the timer goes off or you know whatever it is in your household.

Speaker 1:

this is so much more accessible as a tool you can just whip out, even in the car, right, like yeah, you know, I mean we all have those moments in cars where, yeah, whatever is happening and you know you can just really center yourself, and I think the accessibility of it is one of the coolest things about it yeah, I often, you know, like my breathwork brag is that you can do it anywhere.

Speaker 2:

No one one needs to even see you doing it. I would tell teenagers or you know, middle schoolers, you're stressed out. The teacher just passed out a test, pop quiz. You got to go and do an oral presentation. Like you could be at your desk doing this and nobody needs to know. It's not like a big, you're not like flailing your arms or needing to. You know, get into yoga poses Like you can just intentionally breathe, inhale, exhale. No one really knows. But for moms, like standing in line at a grocery store, you might have a, you could even have a baby in that front compartment of the cart and you're feeling anxious like let me get out of the store already and you could be like all right, I gotta settle down the line's long person in front of me had a full cart. I gotta just chill, do it there. Cars are a big one.

Speaker 1:

You know whether you're in a pickup line for a carpool, you're um or after drop off and you're trying to pickup line for carpool you're, or after drop-off, and you're trying to like center yourself after a crazy morning getting the kids out the door, and then you're like, okay, now I need to focus on what, like what's facing me as a person today, for work or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, before coming into your house. At the end of the day, if you do work out of the house and now you're like great, I'm going from one circus to another, it's like wait, that's not relatable. You could sit in your car, in the driveway, the garage and, like you said, 30 seconds to two minutes you could completely shift the everything flowing through your body and, like you know, you could have had such stressful thoughts. Your shoulders at your ears, you can feel your fists clench and your jaw set and all of a sudden it's like okay, I'm ready to be playful. Like that's a big one, like that's an intention that moms might you know. You know you're going to your kid's, going to want to play with you, and you're just not feeling it because, like there's more work to do. You got to open up your bag and look at those spreadsheets. But can you, can you be playful for the next hour? Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I love that. Yeah, for sure it can be hard to turn off those other things, yeah, and like get into those sort of more innocent frames of mind.

Speaker 2:

Maybe you know more like childlike Right and even, as you mentioned before, you know, with the stove or setting a timer, so many times I you know my. Even though my kids are teenagers, they still know how to push my buttons and I.

Speaker 2:

Maybe best. Right, they've really learned, they have the practice. Yes, yes, they've perfected it. But there are so many times where I've just turned a corner in my house and, like around the doorframe, stood by myself and just said, let's do this for a few seconds, and because I don't want to say something I'm going to regret. I don't want to uh accelerate an argument. Just, I can only control me, right, so let me get my act together so that I'm not uh adding fuel to the fire that's taking place in the living room yeah, one.

Speaker 1:

It's funny. You mentioned the word woo in passing earlier, which that's another one that I don't know if everyone will know who's listening. Woo, I mean, you can jump in, but like woo is sort of a word that I would say Hippie dippie.

Speaker 2:

I often say hippie, dippie. A little alternative maybe, yep, yep, those spiritual types who, who you know, we often think of as like doing yoga at a commune, like that's not it, but it's, you know people think of, like people who buy wheatgrass or manifest, meditate that stuff can go in there.

Speaker 1:

But what's interesting about breathwork is that I agree that that crowd I hear it more from them and that's where I first heard it too was from someone who does manifesting and different things. But there's actually a ton of like hard science behind, like the power of breathing and resetting your nervous system and like part of your brain you're thinking with, and that it's not just for people who have a lot of incense in their house, like there are.

Speaker 2:

There's real science behind it. Yeah, yeah, like you don't need to hold a crystal while you do it. Right, I might, I might like to. Yeah, you can, because I've gotten there, I didn't start there. But you don't have to talk about chakras if you don't want to, because that's super woo. But yeah, it's like you said. There's so much science and do better at your uh 5ks, like it. Something as simple as that. Like we're working on our breath, we're increasing our lung capacity, where there's all of that cardiac stuff going on and um variability, the um god, where's my language? But the heart rate variability. Like you can actually improve some physical medical stuff by doing breath work, so it doesn't have to be all spiritual stuff, but yeah, you can work through and boost your immunity and help your digestion and sleep, as I mentioned. There's so many of those connections.

Speaker 1:

When I see it a lot connected to anxiety. I have one of my children sort of we'll say struggles in that area a little bit. It was like more prone to it than the other. And so I've done a lot of sort of research and looked for resources and there's been tons of science around.

Speaker 1:

Just even the power of a few simple intentional, like deep breaths and like no one quote me on the science here but like we don't typically breathe with our whole lung capacity, we take very shallow breaths typically, yeah, just day to day, and then like using more of that full capacity, has a very calming and centering effect for anyone who kind of struggles with like rambling thoughts or you know things where they feel anxious in certain situations, and this can be just a yeah, accessible way to help deal with any time you feel that kind of trigger coming up because, like you said, like it's so invisible and you can do it in a more extreme way if you can find like a little privacy or in a bathroom or something.

Speaker 1:

But you like, the basics are always there for you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, you could. You could even like if you had little kids at home. You could put on a song and say you know, during the chorus we're going to do this, or you?

Speaker 1:

know, I love that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you can play with songs. You could just count. I mean, like you said, you could do something as simple as five deep inhale, exhale 10. And you know that's enough to bring you, you know, from a 10 to a three or you know really whatever you want to like red light, green light, kind of thing. You can really remember my kids guidance counselors had all of those. Yes, yeah. The visuals of how do we calm down right with the emotions.

Speaker 2:

We're going from here to here yes, yes, yes, yeah, so it is, uh, very. You mentioned about the short breathing. Most that's that's what we do. We are breathing most of us through our mouths because it's unconscious, so we do a lot of mouth breathing, which is shallow. We're not getting that full like diaphragm moving and you know the full deep breath and it's a very fight or flight breath pattern that most of us are doing on a day to day basis. So we wonder why we have these spike cortisol levels and we feel like we're putting off fires everywhere. Just slow down, take deeper breaths, focus on what you're doing, even for just a few seconds, and I'd be shocked if you told me you didn't feel a difference.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, I agree. And even for creativity, I come from an arts background and like connecting with your breath can be very creatively stimulating and centering, because when your mind's racing, a lot of times it's like true creativity is. I think it's more of a gut process or like an inner knowing that you can allow that you. Yeah, it's not wow, it's not like I'm two plus two equals. You know, red paint, like it's not something that you calculate and sometimes, and that's like how people say, like oh, I get my best ideas in the shower, it's just like that's. You know, the warm steam and stuff kind of creates this same physiological reaction and that sometimes, when you feel really blocked or stuck even in like a work project, this can be a great tool of like I just need to recenter, like let the answer kind of come to me, or with a conflict or you know, whatever, it is something that you feel like you need a little inspiration, then breathwork can be like such a multifaceted tool.

Speaker 2:

Totally. I'm so glad you said that, because when people ask me what are the benefits of breathwork, I'll go through all those. You know there's the physical things, there's the stress reduction, there's to help sleeping, and you know the ability to shift your mood, your state, and I always mention both creativity and clarity. Mention both creativity and clarity. It's crazy how you could do a breathwork session before going into a meeting, a brainstorming session, something like around the conference table, and all of a sudden you're getting like bing, bing, bing happening and you're thinking where did these ideas come from? Well, they came from the breathwork. Yes, it is magical in in so many ways that you can't quantify because you can't. How do you get creativity? How do you? How do you? How do you do that? You can't, like you said, you can't sit down and, um, you know, do an equation or put, put puzzle pieces together and say, okay, um, now I'm creative, like that was what I needed to do, right, it's tricky.

Speaker 1:

Well, ironically, I would like to work on quantifying this. For someone listening who says, okay, I'm sold. Ladies, I need this in my life. It's January. I'm trying to you know, vision board, picture my best self. You know all the things. Can it be? Just you know? And I think like there's a lot of value to that.

Speaker 1:

I know that new year's planning gets a lot of knocks, but I think that there is something really valuable about taking a minute just to reflect on where did this year take me? Where did I think it was gonna go? Where was? Where were the surprises hidden? Who do I want to be? Because, like, without intentionality, none of us are going to find the goals that we're looking for. Like, I'm a big believer in begin with the end in mind. So if you were someone listening and said you know I am wanting to, like, improve my mental health. I don't want to spend a ton of money. This is great because it's free. I may not have endless resources and time for therapy and massages and all that stuff, but this feels really accessible. How would I go about adding this into my routine in a sustainable way? Or, like, where would I start with incorporating this practice?

Speaker 2:

Hmm, that's a great question. So obviously I mean you mentioned it's free. Yes, it is free in that you have your body and your breath and you don't need anything else. You don't need to buy any equipment or anything like that. You mentioned that you've done videos and also worked with a facilitator. I, being a facilitator, obviously promote that, so that's not for me.

Speaker 1:

It's worth learning. You can always pull it out in emergencies.

Speaker 2:

But I would say, like those transition moments, to me, are the most impactful. So when you're starting impactful. So when you're starting, you could be lying in bed. Your alarm just goes off and you either count out how many breaths you want to do, or you set a timer, or you put on a song and you're going to lie there and just do that, inhale, exhale during the length of that song, during the length of that song, thinking about that intention. So, yes, the new years, we are goal oriented or forward thinking.

Speaker 2:

I hate the concept of resolutions because I think they all stem from negativity and feelings of lack and scarcity and inferiority. It's like why do you want to lose 10 pounds? Oh, because you feel ugly and fat and you're comparing yourself against everyone else. No, if it's, I want to feel healthy and vibrant. That's a much more positive intention. So you could be waking up in the morning thinking, instead of the usual oh, another day. I want to feel excited, I want to feel joyful, I just want to feel cheery about the day. And so now you put on. I mean, maybe it's a classical, maybe it is pink or Beyonce or something, and you're just going to breathe through that song and give yourself that three minutes of breathing.

Speaker 2:

Like you said, other things like you're in the bathroom you have to blow dry your hair Okay, breathe. You're brushing your teeth is problematic because that's a tricky one. You're sitting on the toilet. You're in the shower. When you get in the, you could be making lunches or doing the dishes.

Speaker 2:

But those big transitions of like leaving the house, coming back to going into the office, or going into the classroom, going into the doctor's appointment, just taking that pause of it starts with a pause. I mean you have to just stop what you're doing and be aware of yourself. Have some awareness of what you're feeling, what you're experiencing in that moment. Like, oh my God, I am so stressed out right now, like there's just not enough hours in the day.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I get it, you have 30 seconds. There's always enough time to do this. So sit, relax your body. You got to relax your body and just breathe. Just give yourself 10 seconds before you go into that next place, before you go into that work event or that parent-teacher conference or the dentist or meeting with the accountant or whatever you're doing. It's just sit in the car, sit in the waiting room, put your feet on the floor, feel the ground, relax your body, maybe put a hand on your chest, a hand on your belly, feeling the breath, because this is about the body, not the mind. We're not like egoing our way through this Right, and just feel your body breathe.

Speaker 1:

Well, yeah, and you actually brought up a good point For someone who's never done it. Can you speak to the difference of work Like why would someone work with a facilitator? And like what would that person teach them or give them tools, or how would that work, versus just trying to sort of implement, breathing on your own?

Speaker 2:

As the facilitator, I speak. I speak during the session. So, like on my, I have a Facebook page where I've done a bunch of free sessions so people can actually see what it looks like. You would tell me or I would decide. If it were a group thing, I would decide the intention, like, ok, we're going to feel playful. Now I've got a whole playlist of songs set up. So whether the session is 15 minutes or 45 minutes, it doesn't matter. I'm going to create a playlist that ties in with that intention and I'm really putting it together with the beats per minute, and it's a very conscious decision on how a playlist is designed. I will tell you the breath pattern that we're using. So let's just say we're sticking with the inhale exhale the whole time, which we can do. That's very effective. While we're in the session, you're sitting or lying down and you just need to breathe. That's all you need to do, but your mind is going to wander, because that's what minds do.

Speaker 1:

Anyone who's tried meditating can relate to that.

Speaker 2:

That's what we do. We're busy. We're busy moms. We're constantly planning and thinking and organizing and stressing. So, as the facilitator, I'm cuing with mantras and encouraging words to keep you in the zone of breathing, like all you need. You know I'm saying I deserve to be playful. Affirmation yeah, I'm a divine being. I get to release whatever it is that is holding me back and you know whatever it is that applies to that intention. And I'm there reminding you inhale, exhale, come back to your breath, come back to your breath. Whatever thoughts have come in, see if you can release those, come back to your breath. And so I'm there as a guide, as a reminder of what we're doing, because if we're doing it on our own, it's kind of like exercising on our own.

Speaker 1:

I was just thinking that, like we could exercise like in 30 minutes, but are we going to?

Speaker 2:

maybe not, it's much much easier when the trainer is you know, yeah, whipping. You know, yeah, cracking the whip on us. Um, nutrition, same thing, you know it's. It's nice when someone is is teaching you or showing you how to do this, versus like I'm opening the fridge what, what is here? What do I do? Yeah. Or meditation.

Speaker 1:

I mean we could all just sort of sit in peaceful silence. I mean I think that's a theory, but most of us would find that very hard. I certainly only use guided meditations because I feel like I need that. I mean maybe it's a crutch, but like I need that guidance. Yeah, it's so supportive.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love the things that come out for me, that bubble up when someone is guiding me, versus me just putting on a song and trying to, you know, putting on yeah. I don't know Mozart and trying to just settle down and be still. It's much better when I have that guided meditation of someone either giving me a visualization or just words of encouragement.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, one, you can correct me if I'm wrong or you disagree with this experience, sort of the on your own breath work is good for, just like those moments of anxiety or calming down in an argument or those little moments of mainly calm, focused. But for things like unlocking trauma or processing grief, those heavier, deeper things, those I've always done in a facilitated setting.

Speaker 2:

I completely agree with you, and what's interesting is I'll be. You know, when I do have the privilege of guiding someone, they might come in with a specific intention, like I want to be more confident. Okay, well, I'll cue you on confidence, I'll come up with a playlist. More confident Okay, well, I'll cue you on confidence, I'll come up with a playlist. We'll do that, and at the end, I don't require anyone to ever share anything, but if there is a debriefing and someone's when I'm working one-on-one with someone, they're often more willing to debrief with me. The things that they'll then say came up or moved. It's fascinating. It's like I came in wanting to work on confidence and that's what you led me in, but I realized I need to get out of this unhealthy relationship.

Speaker 1:

Right, right. I can totally see that.

Speaker 2:

And it's totally linked to confidence and feeling the empowerment to make that change. But they didn't come in saying I want to do breath work about my unhealthy, toxic relationship thing is just a reflection of these bigger patterns and bigger hurts and bigger.

Speaker 1:

You know things from much, much longer and much, much deeper, and so maybe you know like they think it's one thing, but it's like it's the bigger pattern in play. That's really what needs the healing, or else we'll just kind of repeat it. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And that clarity that comes through that we mentioned before. You might even get an answer Like why do I dim my light? Why do I allow myself to be a doormat? Oh well, remember that time in third grade when the teacher told me you'll never amount to anything because you didn't learn your timetables. That left a mark. Yeah, and it's now informing how you behave. You'll never amount to anything because you don't. You didn't learn your time stables. That left a mark, yeah, and it's now informing how you behave as a 35 year old, 40 year old.

Speaker 2:

So it's, it's so interesting when you allow yourself to just slow down, connect with your body. And you know when I say connect with your body, it's. It's so interesting because, as busy women, think of how often you don't go to the bathroom when you need to. You know you felt like you had to pee, but you didn't have time, so you just let it go and it disappears like all of a sudden. Or hunger that was my next. Yeah, those two I tell people all the time the bathroom and the hunger we suppress, we just push aside. Our body was trying to communicate and we shut it down. We cut the lines of communication and so when you're in breathwork. You're now opening those lines again. You're saying, okay, you know operator like patch me through. I'm now allowing that inner wisdom, which I know is like a wooey term, but we all have these answers within us. Again, why do we behave the way we do? There's a reason.

Speaker 2:

It's not because you just decided to be a jerk today. It's because you're holding on to something, you were triggered by something. We get answers when we just stop and allow ourselves to connect.

Speaker 1:

Yes, no, I can totally have. I can attest to that, I've seen it and I've had it happen and it is, I think, a lot of two are just about being purposeful with the time and the intention and just saying, instead of being busy or working, or working out in a different way, I'm going to focus a little on my mental and physical sort of the link between them in some ways that can get so detached, like you're saying, and then they're like two separate entities, but really we are all very much one thing and the more we stay holistic and find that time, I think that can be the hardest part. Really it's just finding the time.

Speaker 2:

I know and it's just we as busy moms. I know, and it's just we as busy moms we sacrifice ourselves, we say we don't have the time, but we make the time for everybody else and everything else. You know, when the PTA asked you to make something for the bake sale, you found the time to do that. When you, you know, your kid forgot his cleats and needed you to bring you like, you found the way to do that right because we do that for other people.

Speaker 1:

We just have to put ourselves at the top of the list yeah, and for anyone who is intrigued by this idea and ready to put herself at the top of the list, how can someone connect with you or learn more about doing this in a supported way?

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you, elizabeth. I appreciate that. So, okay, so I do have all kinds of free resources, which you could find on the Sideline Sisters Facebook page Facebook group. That's a group that I run that's related to my podcast, sideline Sisters. But you just join that group and all of a sudden, you have access to all of these sessions that I have already posted and will continue to post, because I like showing up and giving free breath work.

Speaker 2:

I want people to experience it, whether you choose to make this committed investment with me or not, but if you do decide you want to work on personal issues that aren't predetermined by me, you've got your focus. You can do one-on-one coaching or breathwork with me, and that is available through the Gentle Coaching website Gentle with a J for Jenny, so it's gentlecoachingcom. And then I have a program that's launching very soon. Again, it's not about resolutions. It's about desiring something more for ourselves, and it coming from that very intentional, positive foundation, and when we make changes in our lives, we want them to last. When we're making positive changes, it would be great if they stuck, but they need to come from the right vibration. So I have the New Vibe in 2025 program that is starting very soon. I am doing free workshops January 6th through 10th and information about that is on my website, and then the program starts the next week, so that page would be gentlecoachingcom slash new vibe.

Speaker 1:

Perfect, and we will link all of that in the show notes for anyone who isn't sure what those were. So yeah, the links are down below. Be sure to check.

Speaker 1:

I gave you a lot there, sorry, yeah, no, that's good. No, that's perfect. So let's like, wait. Lots of different resources you can dip your toe in, go all in. I love new vibe in 2025 because, you know, I think we should all be striving for something better and it doesn't have to be a crazy big change. Sometimes it's just small practices, which is actually the perfect segue for, uh, my petite plaisir segment, which, if you're new here, I ask every guest for a petite plaisir, and that is French for just a simple little luxury or little pleasure, because I believe, at Never Too Festive, that every day can be festive. Every day can have moments of joy. We don't have to wait for crazy big moments. We can make them intentionally. So what is adding joy to your life? Right?

Speaker 2:

now. Well, I'm going to give you two.

Speaker 2:

I know People say breath work, I think you're cheating. Yeah, no, no, no. But one, I think is funny, because I know you're not a big TV watcher, but but I love TV and as moms, we often feel like, too, it's too self-indulgent. I mean the thought of sitting down in the middle of the day and watching TV. How dare you? You should be doing something. Yeah, I, I do not follow that philosophy. So for anyone who wants to learn how to enjoy television guilt-free or or anything else, I'm a big guilt-free, uh, joy include includer. So I so, yeah. So I will sit and watch TV, oftentimes with my teenage daughter, Almost every day. I will do that, but more focused on me. I love to read.

Speaker 1:

Oh see, and I'll do that during the day, yeah, but. I read a lot of Over 60 books last year.

Speaker 2:

so that's impressive. That's very impressive, but I will read in bed. I do like to be kind of cozy under the blankets, which I guess I could do during the day, but I I opt for that night on the couch with a blanket.

Speaker 2:

I could, yeah. Yeah, I do like to wind down with a book and I make that a priority. I just and I do it early. I am an early to bed person. Regardless of what's happening in my house, I can just shut it down. I shut the door mentally on all that, and if the dishes are still in the salad, I'll do them in the morning. But I want to get in bed and read, and so I toggle between fiction and personal growth.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I can relate to that. I used to do exclusively personal growth and then I was like enough with that, and now I do a lot of fiction, yeah yeah, I kind of alternate or I'll have two going at the same time. I agree they're different, different vibes. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm a big fan of the e-reader uh from the library, so I I rent my books and try not to accumulate too much.

Speaker 1:

I know yeah, I buy the ones that are super special, but I rent, I rent the book, but I still I have gone to library because I was getting it was getting extreme. I mean even 60 books a year. It's yeah, it adds up. It's like a lot of physical space and I don't know my Amazon doesn't need to be quite that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a lot.

Speaker 1:

But I do rent the physical book from the library. But I have gone into the library. I recommend it, guys, you can just request what you want.

Speaker 2:

You can be in and out. What I love about the e-reading from the library is that if you finish a book and it's, you know, 11 pm or something, I mean I'm not reading that late because, like I said, I go to bed early. But if it's even 8 o'clock at night, now what I just finished my book, well, super easy to go into the library portal.

Speaker 1:

I just get like six at a time.

Speaker 2:

So there's that there's that I don't know. Yeah, my husband doesn't like the light.

Speaker 1:

You know, even if.

Speaker 2:

I had a little book light. That's still. He'd find that troubling. So oh yeah, that's fair. I just have my my iPad for reading. I put it on dark mode and put the brightness all the way down, and we're good.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, I love it. If anyone hasn't gotten into reading, I really recommend it. You know, it can be that mental break you need from your actual reality. To just go into something light, fun. There's something for everyone. I mean, there's so many books in the world, it's crazy. It's absolutely crazy. So there's literally tons. There's a lot I'm looking forward to releasing in 2025. So you know, once you get into it, it's like a whole lifestyle.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's. That's what's dangerous, though, when you, when you go to get that from the library and it's like that's available in 37 weeks Great, oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

There's a couple that I've. There's one I got in December and it was called Summer Romance and I was like, definitely added this in like June. Not sure if I want it right now. Right, right, great beach read, perfect, yeah, right. And then sometimes I will buy seasonal ones for that reason, because I'm like so far back. But you know, a pro tip on that is if you know any authors you like, like I. I love Emily Henry, I love Abby Jimenez. Those are some like oh, that she's a good one romance ones. They both have a book coming out in April in 2025 this year. So you at least in the Dallas library, you can get your name on the list early, like pre. If you get it on before it comes out, then you're like number two or three, right and then like the week it comes off, you're like number 568 and like, yeah, yeah, getting it like in the next millennia.

Speaker 1:

But if you put it on before it comes out, just like google books coming out or like you know, look at upcoming on barnes and nobles website or whatever, if you go and put it on. I do that for my son too. He's a big reader and he is also someone who goes through books like daily practically. So I'll be like oh, you're on the wait list early, Then you're not.

Speaker 2:

That's good, yeah, because I'll see them when I, when I go to the hairdresser and read People magazine, I will see they have their book picks, yeah, and that's then I go home and I type it into the library and it's like, well, of'm, you know 45 on the list, because it was just in People magazine for sure.

Speaker 1:

I mean the Emily Henry. You're going to be like a thousand when it comes out in Dallas because it's going to be so popular yeah, and even if they buy five, you're like that's still a while yeah, I did just read um an Abby Jimenez book.

Speaker 2:

That was really good. It's funny yeah.

Speaker 1:

I really like I read all of hers. We just I started a book club this year. That's something I did and then, um, her new one is coming out in uh, in april. So if anyone's looking for a new author to try, I recommend abby kimena. Sounds like you do too yeah, yeah, good choice perfect. Well, that's wonderful. I hope everyone is feeling inspired by this and ready to make simple, sustainable improvements to their physical and mental health, because really, that's what every year should be about. And thank you so much for being with us.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, elizabeth. Happy New Year to everybody, yes.

Speaker 1:

Happy New Year. Thank you for joining me today on Never Too Festive. I hope you are leaving feeling inspired and refreshed. If you've loved what you've heard, don't keep it to yourself. Share this podcast with a friend who could use a little extra sparkle in her life. And hey, while you're at it, why not leave a review on your favorite podcast platform? Your feedback helps us continue to grow and inspire more women like you. Have questions or feedback you want to share directly with me? Simply click the link in the show notes to send me a text. I'd love to hear from you until next time. Remember, all we have is today, so let's choose to live our most fabulous, joyful life together.