Empaths Anonymous

Curl Talk and Building Up BIPOC Spaces in Temecula with Brandie Kekoa

• Crystina + Danie • Season 1 • Episode 23

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Hey babes! This week we're talking to Brandie Kekoa, Temecula's resident Curl Healer and honestly, the beam of joy and support every community needs. We are so excited for you guys to be introduced to her work and if you are in the Temecula are, go sit in her chair and let her make your beautiful locks look right!

We talk all about:

  • Curl wounds in women and littles
  • How to instill confidence in children with naturally curly or textured hair
  • What it's like being a minority in a small and changing town
  • Taking up space, preserving your joy and lastly...
  • Minding your own damn business!

To our curly girls and anyone who has ever lived in a place where they had to fight to take up space, this one's for you! 🫶🏽

Here's where you can find Brandie:
Website: https://bekekoa.com/
Brandie's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandiekekoa/
BeKekoa Salon Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bekekoa/
Hair Afromations: https://www.instagram.com/dailyafromationcards/

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Contact:
empathsanonpod@gmail.com

Intro music by Heet Deth

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

I had a little girl come in. She was like 11. She's like this is yours. This is your shop. Like she just couldn't believe it. And I said, yes, you could have one too.

Speaker:

Welcome to Empaths Anonymous, a space for dreamers, healers, and feelers, navigating the fine line between putting yourself first and holding space for others. If you struggle with balancing your needs while still supporting your tribe, then you're in the right place. Welcome to the support group.

Danie:

You guys were matchy matchy today.

Crystina:

Very.

Danie:

Ask us if we planned it.

Crystina:

We did not. Ask us if we live together. We do. Hi, hello and welcome back to Empaths Anonymous podcast. I'm Crystina. I'm Dani. And we have, well, I have, I won't speak for you. I've missed you guys. I feel like we were just on the couch a little bit ago, but time has been, what is time?

Danie:

Yeah. Time has been really feeling. Strange. Last week felt super long, but then the days go by fast. So the time has been giving us a time. However, we are so happy. And really excited always to be back on the couch, of course. But today we have, she would laugh at me if I called her this, a local superstar on the pod today. But first let's check in a little bit. How are you feeling? How are you showing up?

Crystina:

I am showing up grateful. I'm grateful for what I have, what's going on in my life, what I'm coming out of and leaving behind. We're recording this the day before an eclipse. So I'm really just thinking about, wow. And the last. Six months, a lot of shit has left my life and I'm grateful for it. So keeping it short and sweet, cause what else is there to say?

Danie:

Right? It's very true. I told someone last night, actually, because of course the TikTok algorithm does what it does. And there's a lot of different things that come up on my page and regarding the eclipse, regarding what the planets are doing at any given time. time. And so a lot of it was shedding, thinking back to where you were this time last year, which were the both of us was just straight up confusion. And I think that gratitude is a huge, huge word that is used a lot, but never really thought of as something that can't see it. She has a gratitude tattoo on her hand. It's something that we need to remind ourselves of pretty much on a daily basis. That's why I got it. Yeah, and actually think about the things. Not just think of the word and be like, okay, I'm grateful. But really list the things out, right? That's really it. I'm showing up the same way. I'm showing up excited. I'm showing up really ready to share this guest with you guys. We were so thankful that she said yes to us, as always, and was just such a delight. Oh, yeah. Really, truly a lovely conversation. And we're gonna really get into it. Yeah,

Crystina:

I'm excited that we have our first guest from Temecula. That's true. It will be her. The Tmec Town. The T Towns. Yeah, so we hope that you guys will, I know that you guys will enjoy because she is just, like we said, a superstar, a delight, just a light beam of a woman. Very strong, very hilarious. You guys are going to love it. And we talk a lot about hair. We do. And other things that go deeper than hair.

Danie:

Right.

Crystina:

Confidence and being content with where you are, even though it's not necessarily where you would choose. So I hope that even if you are not a curly haired queen, you can still relate to this episode in a lot of ways.

Danie:

Right. I am not. And I did. So without further ado, we would like to introduce our guest, Miss Brandie Kekoa.

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Hi, Everyone. Today, we have a very lovely guest, local to the Temecula Valley, which of course we love to highlight and we love to have locals on the pod. Yeah, we're so excited about it. Ms. Brandie Kekoa, who is a social influencer. Business strategist and curl healer known for empowering entrepreneurs to build authentic brands and market effectively on social media. With her expertise in curly hair care, she helps a client's embrace their natural beauty while fostering confidence, bold decision making and fulfilling lives. Welcome to the podcast, Brandie.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

Thank you for having me, ladies.

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Oh, of course you were on our list. We, I don't remember who it was that said, but oh, you need to have Brandie on your podcast. She's like the Temecula connection queen. She's the connector. And we're like, okay, And then we went and stalked you a little bit on social and I saw like your affirmation cards and all these things. I was like, okay. She seems so cool. So we're so excited that you have agreed to come on today and talk to us.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

course, I'm happy to be here. Thanks for having me. And yeah I'm like, let's go. You know, I'm all into conversations and and getting into the meat and potatoes of why I'm here and and talk about things. And yeah, I'm

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Okay. Well, going off of that, what's in your cup today?

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

I'm so happy that you asked. I actually I have a prescription box and it's from a black owned brand that provides subscription wines of BIPOC winemakers.

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Ooh. What is it

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

So, Vint Nguyen, and I can send you guys all her information. She's I believe she's based out of Palm Springs. But I met her at this wine show and she has subscription boxes with BIPOC winemakers in it. So I just got my box and I'm so happy. And I pulled this wine. It's called lovely wine, pure joy by black female. And it's tasty. It's a Pinot Noir. It's very, very tasty.

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Pinot Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

in my cup. How

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

true Temecula fashion. Right.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

showing up?

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

wine. You had to. You had to. What's in your life cup? How are you showing up today?

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

Just not just today. That's a Okay, I'm showing up for My family today because being an entrepreneur and being on the grind as much as I've been Sundays is typically the day you guys are, of course, an exception for

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

thank you. Thank

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

But Sundays is typically the day that I spend with. My hubby and kids and we kind of all like to regroup and come back to our talk about the week and how things were and your challenges and your wins and just little things like that. So, usually I, on these days, I put my family forward and I like to fill them up because throughout the week, I'm kind of taking care of everybody

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

All over. Right. Yep. In a service based industry, that's really what you do from sunup till sundown, right? People show up in your chair in every different kind of emotional state, and you have no idea. So yeah, I can

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

Yes, I get tears often. We'll get into that later, but yes, I get all kinds of

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Oh.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

and emotions.

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

I, I would imagine, especially having sat down in your chair and that not being the very first chair they sat down in to have their hair done and nothing is really which we'll get into, like you said, but nothing has worked so far and it just feels like a frustrating journey. So, I can imagine when they finally get there, it's like tears of relief almost.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

Oh

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Okay, good. Yeah. We like that. Sundays are for family. They're so much slower. You can kind of ease into them and kind of help you reset for the beginning of the week for sure. Set back your week. I always feel like finding somebody who's going to go on your hair journey with you is similar to finding a good therapist, you know? Because it's like in turn, like you end up kind of being a little bit of a therapist because you're like talking to people about their lives and I'm sure like clients too that are with you for a really long time. It's like you're learning about their family and you're seeing their own life evolve as you, you know, get to know them and service them for years and years. So

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

Yes, absolutely. I mean, I've been in the game for quite some time and I've seen little girls go through middle school, high school, college, and now weddings. So I'm like, Oh, yeah. I'm like, I'm not that old.

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

No, never. Yeah. Well, speaking to that you have coined yourself a curl healer. And so as far as that's concerned, getting to that point must have been quite the journey. So at what point did you or have you always been confident wearing your natural hair?

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

Yeah. Ooh. Well, first I'm typically curly. You guys caught me when I have my little braids in my little vacation braids.

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

I love'em. End of summer. You got to

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

Right. But I always wasn't accepting and loving my curls because my mother wasn't, she was, she was natural in high school. Right in the seventies. And then the eighties came out with the relaxers, right? And, Oh, this is easy. It's going to be easy for me. This is easy for my girls. They went through the Jerry curl stage, the relaxer stage. By the time I was eight years old, I had my first relaxer

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Wow.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

and it was just one of those things. You know, we had our, I did my touch up. My my mom would take me to the hairdresser or my aunt. Was a hairdresser and every six to eight weeks we get our little roots touch up and I just remember In my mind when I would see my roots at such a young age I was like, oh, I have to go to the salon to get touched up. It was something that was just I would almost cry if I couldn't

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Oh yeah.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

was very it was a very interesting time for me and um was, I was constantly getting them until I went to beauty school, right, in 2007, because I'm a third generation

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Oh, wow.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

So I was following after the footsteps of my aunt, who has passed away, and my grandmother. So, I went to beauty school in 2007. I said, this is what I want to do. At the time I was still pressing. I was still relaxing and I graduate from beauty school. And then I went into the salon and I was doing this one particular day. It clicked. I was, I did like seven relaxers in one day. Right. So I was like, you do the roots or you'll do a version relax or whatever. And I just remember I just had my firm relax. I was doing my thing. thing. And at the end of the day, I looked at the tent brush and I was like, Oh shoot, the bristles are gone. Like, this is, this is crazy. You know, these are plastic thick

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Mm-Hmm? Oh.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

Why are the bristles eaten off of my brush? Right? So then I kind of started thinking then like, Hmm, this is interesting. Then it was time for my touch up again. And it was either a bad batch of a relaxer, or it was over processed when the stylist did it. But I ended up losing a bunch of hair in the middle, it was like a bald spot.

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Mm-Hmm.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

So I was like, what? Now I was like, okay, this can't be good for us. So then I started doing all this research, and it was kind of like this veil was lifted up. This is not good for us. Why are we doing this? Why are we putting this? Our, you know, our scalp has open follicles. You know, it's a, our skin is an

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Mm-Hmm.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

it opens and closes just like with cold water and hot water, you know, it's like your your skin is accepting of things and it can bring in things and it can enter into your bloodstream. And I'm thinking we're putting this on our scalps. This is like dangerous. And I've been doing it to people. One day I just stopped. I just stopped. I said, I'm not doing relaxers anymore. And let me tell you, them folks in the salon were like, you crazy. You're going to be walking around like a nappy. I big chopped myself. And they was like, looking at me like, Oh, you look at the head tight and kinky, like clowning. I didn't care. Something me like, this is not right. And if I cared about the people that I serviced, I cannot continue to do this. So my last relaxer was, oh my gosh, it was in 2008

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

Okay. Okay. Mm-Hmm.

mrs-kekoa_1_09-08-2024_170611:

was the very last relaxer I had. And I said, I will never ever do this to anybody else. And you know what? And I'm not, or talking about stylists that still do it because that's their thing. But for me personally, after knowing what's in sodium hydroxide and what is in these relaxers, I can't do it within good conscious within my brand.

empaths_2_09-08-2024_170611:

right? Yeah. Yeah. It's, it is so dangerous, the chemicals, and I had a similar experience to you. I was burned and so I had to like chop all of my hair off. I'm mixed, so my mom is white, my dad is black, but I didn't grow up with the black side of the family. So, my mom just kind of had to figure out how to do my hair the best that she could. And, we didn't really do much to it. I basically wore it up and braided it and things like that. Until I was getting to that age. I'm like, I want to look cute. Like I think I was in middle school and I was like, I want to wear my hair down. I want my hair to look good. I don't want to feel like my hair is always nappy or frizzy or, you know, whatever the kids at school try to call your hair.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

So they told my mom like you need to go take her to a black salon. So she did. So we went into Milwaukee and I started getting relaxers and I was like 11 years old, but my hair, is a lot more fine. And so it just really couldn't handle it. And I think I got it two or three times. And then the fourth time they burned me and I had a bald spot in the back of my head and they had to give me like, remember the Rihanna umbrella music video where she has the super long front and then it's like stacked in the back. I had to get that haircut and I think I was like, I think it was a freshman in high school. I was 14 and I had to get that haircut and I was so insecure because then all of a sudden my hair. was so short, and that was the last real extra that I ever got. So it was kind of around the same time as you. It was like 2008, because it was before I had moved to Vegas, and my cousin started doing my hair. My cousin was like, we're never putting chemicals on your hair ever again.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Good. Good. Oh, so they gave you that auntie haircut?

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah. Yeah, and as a 14 year old, that just really is not cool. Especially entering high school, like that's not fair, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it was traumatic, but I, yeah, it took me a long time to be confident with my natural hair. And I would say even like in the last Five years is where I started like wearing it down. I used to always wear it up pretty much every single day. So even when it was more naturally, right. Even yeah. Even after I stopped getting relaxers and stuff. So it's been, it's been a journey. And I think that a lot of women can relate to that because we are just sold this, you know, story that our hair needs to be long and luscious and straight in order to be beautiful. Yes.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

our brains are somehow programmed to that's beautiful and that's corporate and that's clean and that's, you know, all of the things that people think how our hair should look. So, it's, I'm glad that things are, are shifting a bit for us curly girls. We still have the crown act and things that we're still trying to work through. But for the most part, I think that we're starting to evolve a little bit more as far as curls go.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

I agree. And there's a lot more access and a lot more curly hair salons where when I was younger like that just didn't even exist. It wasn't a thing, yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Right, right. Well, you have to come in and get you a steam hydration treatment, a spa mist. We got

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yes. So I have been wanting to book. I need a, I need a curly cut. I just got a trim like maybe a couple months ago, but I definitely need like a reshape. These used to be bangs and they're no longer bangs anymore. So I'm definitely going to come visit.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Hey, we got you.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

thanks. I'm really excited to try your products too, which speaking of We love that you saw a need in the beauty industry for professionals that didn't have access to high quality curl care products. What inspired you to then take it to the next level and hire an onsite chemist?

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Oh, a number of reasons. One of the main ones is that the reason why I stopped doing relaxers was because I was tired of putting trash on my client's hair. I was not okay with not just the relaxer itself, but also the other products that came along with the relaxers, certain leave in conditioners and serums and things like that. Clearly we're not good for us. So that was one where I was like, Hmm, let me look into, you know, other products. So when I first started doing strictly natural hair, you know, we had the big box brands like the L'Oreal's and the red pins and all of them trying to come out with curly products. And then the same thing, I'm looking at the ingredients and like, where are all these parabens coming from and why? Why so much mineral oil and you're charging 40 for a leave in conditioner? You know, I was, I was really starting to pay attention and become more aware of what was in these products. So when I first started doing mine. I was started mixing things kind of together, like, okay, this isn't a dimethicone. This is a water soluble silicone, or this is water soluble conditioner. And I wonder what that would do if I mix this with this. So I was mixing things myself at first and then I found a chemist, my very first chemist in New Mexico, and we created together our very first product, which was my leave in conditioner. So after that, people were like buying it. And I mean, this was, gosh. I want to say, what, 2013? It was just, I had people buying it like crazy, just my leave in. And I was like, let me expand this. And then my chemist ended up going out of business. So I was like, Oh no! And I just, I really believe in the power of Your words and manifestation and whatever your belief system is, the power of prayer for most. And I kept saying, I need to find somebody, you know, please. And I would journal it and I would write it down. And I found somebody in Temecula,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Wow.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

a cosmetic chemist, who's also an aromatherapist. Which is totally my jam because I'm all about aromatherapy. I'm all about not just the hair, but also the mind, the body, the spirit, how the, how the product makes you feel not just in the hair, but when you smell it. And I found her. Oh my gosh, it's been six, seven years now, and we have expanded my line to leave in, shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner. She's knows my mother. My mother helped form, not formulate, but came up with the fragrance for the Lola, which I named after my mother, you know. So. We're able to continue her legacy after she passed with the fragrance that she chose and I have the same chemist. So it really helped happens organically to answer your question. It was something that I really wanted to do, but I didn't know if I could and how, and by just speaking it and knowing that it's going to happen, it just. It organically kind of happened.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah, especially that person being local to the area makes it much easier to get together and always have these meetings about development and, and creating the product that you want to put out for everybody. It's such a nice thing because for us, we're One of the main goals of the podcast is to what we're doing now, you know, reach out to local people and expand, because I feel like if we just tap in to who is here, what is here, then we can make ourselves a little bit more available to the community that is here and tap into those people who are very genuine and wanting the same thing out of our, I like to call it's making a big, small town.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

yeah, and you, you, you will, you will. It's, it will happen. It's Temecula. I have a love dislike relationship with this town, but something is drawing me here and keeping me here. And I'm going to figure out what that is, hopefully sooner than later. But in the meantime, I'm going to continue, expand and grow and, And have my footprint here in Old Town Temecula.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah. Yeah, we love it. I mean, it's not too often that we drive down that street because it's a bit crowded for us now, but every time I see your sign, I'm like, hey. Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

It's me. We up here.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Especially because across the way is that cute little our matcha place

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Oh

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

where it's like pink. Everything inside is so cute. We love that place. We love it there. Yeah. I think that we have, we have some of the same sentiments. Yeah. We're always coming up with ideas of Oh, like Temecula needs this. And what if we had this kind of group? And what if we had this kind of business? And so it's kind of like that idea of build it and they'll come,

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Yeah, I've been here most of my life. I went to middle school here, I went to high school here, and my kids, same thing, elementary, middle school, my daughter graduated from high school in June, so it's we, we're known.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah, yeah, and we'll get to that a little bit later because I definitely want to have a time for that conversation. Yeah. Speaking to the products specifically, it's funny today, I was actually just looking for a different conditioner for my daughter because me being Latina and her dad being black mixed Afro Latina, so her hair is, I would say she's somewhere between like a three, B to a 3C. Yeah. Somewhere in there. So she has still like that fine, soft hair but very, very curly and can, you know, become like dry and brittle very quickly. So I'm always looking for different things to keep it nourished and trying to keep the scissors away from her as long as possible, because I want to see how it grows out before we could really get to her first cut. Right. But still pampering her after her bath and stuff. And she's three going on 13, but

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Oh,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

these books. She's looking at certain things and she's saying, Oh I wish my hair was long. I'm like, well, baby, like your hair is long, but you have very curly hair. So we'll show her like in the bath when we comb it out. I'm like, look, your hair is very long, but also short hair is very beautiful too. So you can see those thoughts already forming at such a young age. So essentially for me, because I don't have that experience. I mean, I have basically straight hair. How can we instill confidence in our children to embrace their natural hair, especially for moms like me who don't necessarily have that texture? I suppose what are your tips for educating and making sure that instilling that confidence happens at such a young age?

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

a very good question, and I wish that more mothers. would ask me that first before making and coming into appointments because my job not just as a mother, but as a stylist, I feel like I have a responsibility. To make sure I can't keys are little ones feel really good about not just their experience, but about their hair. Right? But I will tell you this. It does start at home. Even though you have a different hair texture. I think that it's important at this young age. to start her little affirmations. My hair is beautiful. My hair is long or whatever it is she wants it to be. Because then she'll start to feel it and know it and say it to be true. Especially when they're that young. And another thing I will say is to bring her around other curlies that look like her. I think that that's important too, to just bring her around other curly babies so that she sees yeah, your hair is curly. They won't say it, but you will be able to see it in her face when she sees other curly babies. And that's one thing I've been really wanting to do is like a mommy and me class in my

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

I would be there in a heartbeat. Wow.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

My kids are biracial and my daughter in her whole life has straightened her hair twice and it's because and has only and when she did it that one time She wanted it wet immediately. She wanted it curly again because I was all she knew, right? She had school, you know, at school and a lot of the girls there did have straight hair, but mommy always had a big Afro with a flower in it. And that's all that she knew, and that's all that she saw. And I would do the same thing. I would surround her with other curly babies. I think that that's important. That's why representation is important for them to see, you know, if she has curly babies. And I think the affirmation cards, which I will send you some, would be great for her. Even though they're not geared towards kids, you can take a couple of them out, because they're geared towards kids. You know, more towards women, but there are a lot in there that I think she would be able to read to herself and feel seen, and heard and The words that she speaks will kind of trigger in her mind. And it'd be like, okay, my curls are beautiful. They are enough. I accept my curls as they are. And let her say it in the mirror every morning.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah, that's a good practice.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

it's such a good practice.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah, right now we have a interesting relationship with her hair being done, but it's toddlerhood. So I do ensure that like when I am brushing it after a shower, it's a different experience than if I'm like getting her ready to go to her dad's and I ask her what she wants. I'm like, do you want a bun? Do you want space buns? What do you want for your hair today? Right. And sometimes I let her pick clips and things like this. and she's involved in an outdoor nature play school where a lot of those babies are Spanish speakers or multilingual or biracial Specifically this little boy who's so adorable, who they both have curly hair. So continuing to do that. And then this book that we love to read called my hair is magic. And it's this tiny little girl in the front and her hair takes up the whole front cover. So doing those things but making sure that she's actually saying those affirmations because she learns that at nature play as well. But Yeah. I'm really excited to read those to her. I think she would love them. She already is very familiar with affirmations. So

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Good. I'll send you a box.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah. That'd be great. Thank you. That'd be so awesome. Thank you. Yeah. I think it's important to start it really young because as women and women of color, like that hair wound can run really deep, especially like when you're constantly being told that your hair is a problem or it's different or it's weird or why is it like that? Unmanageable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It took me a really long time as an adult to just embrace it and be like, this is my hair and it's so beautiful the way that it is. Like, why have I in my entire life tried to change it? Mm

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Yeah. Yeah. It's you know, everyone and their, their own time, you know, will accept it. I've had women in my chair that are in their fifties and they're in corporate and they're like, can you help me?

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

hmm. Mm

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

don't know what to do. You know, I want to feel confident walking in the office with my curls. So it's kind of like I'm walking them through it as I would, you know, one of my babies, one of my five year olds, it's, it's the same kind of thing of acceptance. And, and then when I get down, it's like an onion and I'm peeling it and I'm getting down to these layers. It always comes back to when I was little or somebody said this to me and said I look like Bozo when I was six and I never forgot. You know, it's always like that one thing that made them feel insecure about their hair. So after peeling out all the layers and they tell me what it was and we say, you know what, that's not true. I'm sorry that made you feel that way, but let's make you feel beautiful again from the inside out. It's always within. It's always within. It's almost never the actual hair. It's always something that made them feel a certain way when they were younger or, you know, even recently. It's always one thing.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah. It always starts with the within and it is inner child healing at the end of the day

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Yeah.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

on programming those things that others told us or that we told to ourselves about our hair, especially because our hair is just so rich in history and in pride. I think that to me, that's of myself and I just feel so empowered when I started wearing my hair natural. I just really felt connected to myself and my community in a way that I hadn't when I wasn't wearing my hair or was ashamed of my hair.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

feel it.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

I think I've seen, I mean, Crystina and I have been friends for nearly 13 years, something like that, but I think I've seen her hair straightened or every other possible way other than curly. I think it took me a long time for me to even realize that her hair was that curly because growing up together and our friendship throughout our early to mid to late 20s, now early 30s, you know, I just I had no clue because her hair was always straight. And as soon as I found out she had curly hair, which I also encourage one of my cousins to always wear her hair naturally curly too because she grew up straightening it her whole life. And as soon as they start to wear their hair curly, I'm like, ah, like that's, that's who you are. Like there you are. That's you. Yeah. There you are. Like I can see you. Yes.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

It's how it grows out of their head.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yes.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

know, and it's the confidence that people exude when they leave the salon or when they see their curlies come out and they know that it's enough and they know that they're beautiful. They just walk different.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

yeah. Mm hmm. There's nothing like that bounce after you come from the salon and your curls are just like poppin and you're like, okay, I gotta go somewhere. I'm feeling myself. Where can I go right now? I've gotta go somewhere. Let me be seen. Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

just walk different. Yes, beautiful.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah, you touched on this a little bit but we wanted to circle back on it. being local to Temecula and a vocal advocate for racial equality, how has your experience been growing up here and witnessing the changes that have impacted the community as a whole?

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

I don't know if you guys are aware, my daughter led a walkout,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Oh,

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

about two years ago, so you probably saw that. Before that, I wasn't too much involved in the politics. Town. I was very just like, let me stay in my salon, mind my business, do my thing. But my daughter started being very vocal about things that were going on out here and let a walk out. And my main priority and thing was to protect my child at all costs

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

because she was being very vocal in a space that was That was not safe to be vocal in and that whole experience really opened my eyes because I never saw myself as an advocate or somebody speaking out for things and For, you know, the for the marginalized folks in Temecula. Like I never, I was just like, you know what, I'm a black owned business. I'm doing my thing. I'm I'm a help other black owned businesses. You know, I kept it very, I never got into the political stuff. And what that experience taught me on a local level now, what the experience taught me on a local level is that with people here that are left and right. You have to really, I had to really be careful because just because someone is left leaning doesn't necessarily mean that they're all the way on your side. Just because somebody is, you know, same thing for the people that are more right leaning. So my daughter was getting it from both sides politically.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Wow.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

The people from the right were just there being vicious. I had my, my bank accounts hacked into we were being, yeah, it was just this crazy social media war that was going on for people for some certain ones. And then people that were more on the left were trying to diminish her voice and trying to say and control it. These are the things that you need to say. These are the talking points that we want you to say. So I'm just thinking, oh my gosh, whoa, like, whoa, we have to really be careful here. And we, when we advocate, we have to do it without any political influence, right? We have to do it because, okay, this is wrong. This person shouldn't be discriminated against because of how they look. It should be like cutting you like black

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Right. you would think. We talk about this all the time. This divide, you know, that's occurred over both parties the two biggest, over these last several years, have just been nothing like I've ever experienced. Sure, there's disagreements, always. There's different opinions, always, and that's fine. And we come to the table and we try our best to talk about those. A lot of the time it's agree to disagree. But I think the hatred, the level of hatred that was allowed It was, it's been a really tough thing to like, to watch, especially in a community that I also grew up in as well. And so now being back here I wouldn't necessarily say against my own will, but you know, not necessarily my first choice before this, I was in LA for seven years, so I was in like a little bit of a bubble and I was in like West LA too, which is even more like fun and fancy free, so they're just Oh, whatever. Like, yes. It's very different. And I knew that you know, ever since I, I think I did my very last year of elementary school and then all the way through middle school, high school, same as you early college years before I moved away. But coming back here, I've noticed so many different things. And. I often hid the fact that I was from here. I never said that I was from here. I would always say I'm from San Diego because technically I was born there. And I did have a lot of my adolescent years and early childhood years there as well. But I never wanted to claim this place. Because it was, it was tough for me because I, it's like, people automatically think that you're of a certain way of thinking, right? Which isn't always the case. And so I do see the shift, but I also see, like, how careful you always have to be, no matter what. Because of the hatred, like I said, that was allowed to occur. And it feels scary now to have. A difference of opinion when really it should be like what you're saying, black and white. It's a human right to be treated with respect.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

That's it. And that was, that was the main thing. So I was very, I was ready for the pushback that she received, but I wasn't ready for the other things. And like I said on, on both sides. on both sides. I'm not going to come on here and just dog out one because it was both that was doing some wild stuff. And, you know, in the black community in Temecula is 3%.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Mm hmm. Wow. I didn't know that.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

it's very small. And I, you know, when I was, I was speaking out saying things, I'm like, well, wait a minute, why are you speaking for black people? You shouldn't be. You know what I'm saying? It was just, it was just so many, I had so many different experiences. And I think I opened my eyes to it and it made me much more aware and stronger and I was able to really look at people's intentions quicker,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Mm hmm.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

And just keep on to the path that, okay, this is right. And this is wrong type of I had to have this type of tunnel vision. Like, no, that's wrong. Even on that side, that's wrong on that side. You know what I'm saying? Like not trying to get too politically driven with my advocacy. I'm trying to be very just like, no, I don't agree with that. And we're not going to all agree on things a hundred percent, but I'm speaking on things that that have to do with human rights.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Mm hmm. Yeah. It's more of a morality thing than a political thing, or it should be. Mm hmm.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

it should be, but not a lot of people are there. And I think that if we were to all come together, sit down. We would agree with a lot more than not,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Mm

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

but people are just like, things are so divisive right now and people aren't in that space. And I get it because I wasn't in that space a few years ago when they were coming after my daughter. But I am in that space now to where I can sit down and have conversations and say, no, I don't agree with that. But hey, if I see you on the streets, I'll still say hi.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah. Yeah. It feels, yeah, it's saddening almost how you feel like, oh, I have to just completely have this shield over me or this bubble where I can't, you know, I think even interact with people who have, you know, opposing views. And it's definitely something that we talk about a lot. We don't ever really get too political on the podcast, but I think overall. Just speaking to involvement in your local community. I think no matter what, there's going to always be politics involved in anything. I mean, I work, I work for the school district myself and I see it every day. You know, it's, it's tough. Cause you want to go in there and you're like, this is wrong and I need to make this change here and this changes to happen here, but everything is so slow. So the best thing you could do is just show up authentically as yourself and make those small changes that ultimately end up becoming. Big changes later on down the line, but it's more of a waiting game.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Exactly. Exactly. And I've, I've geared towards more if it doesn't bring me much joy, I don't want to deal with it.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

in this era and this space and my life if it doesn't, you know, make me feel good or, you know, if it just doesn't bring me joy, I, I'm good. Like I'm, I'm, I've did all that crazy stuff before. I'm just, you know, after a while you just get tired.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

yeah. it's tiring. Yeah. No, that's funny because one of our guests here recently talks about living a carefree life. And just choosing what feels right for you, choosing joy for yourself, and just the unbotheredness of it all. Letting things fall to the wayside that just, like you said, are not adding to your life. And I think, one, we always want to look at the more, positive side of things. I think that there's so many great things happening in Temecula. I mean, for both of you, I've only lived here for about a year. So both of you have completely different experiences. I moved here and I was a little bit shocked at how some things were because I, I'm from the Midwest, but grew up mostly for 13 years in Las Vegas. lived in Texas and Houston for a little bit, which is like very You know, cultural. And then moved here and I was just thinking that this is going to be, I mean, it's California. You know what I mean? It's the best place to be. Like, why would there be, you know, it's a, it's a very blue state. So I just was like, not expecting it when I moved here and I saw some things that were going on in the school district and you know, you see the flags and you see the rallies and all these things and I'm like, where am I?

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Temecula is a bubble.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

if you go anywhere else in California, it's a little different. I mean, there are some like little pockets of conservative towns. But this one in particular, these folks really do live in a bubble.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Some of the stuff you see online locally, you're like, are you free? If you were to do that anywhere else, it would be ridiculous. You would be.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

It's different,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah, and we do like what Crystina said, we see all of the the changes like we pretty much have a residency at Akash. We love it there. It's one of our favorite wineries. And we love that it's Brown owned. And we just try to take that in stride and really, Lift up those places, right? When we see that happening, we're like, okay, I want to support as much as I possibly can. And hoping that that will bring more BIPOC ownership, like land ownership and wineries, since that's what we're about over here and just different businesses popping up, being able to see that happening at all in this town is a win for us. Right. So, because the bottom line is we, I heard your mom shared something. I don't know her exact wording, but she's lived in Temecula for a really, really long time before she lived in Temecula, was So much in love with it. And so she's like, okay, when we have kids and we settle, I want to move to Temecula and when she moved here, she said she was like one of the only black people. And what stuck with me when your mom was telling me the story of I'm not going to be pushed out because I'm resilient. I deserve to live where I want to. And this is a beautiful place. I love the hiking, the nature, the wineries and everything. I deserve to live here too. And experience that too, just because I look differently. than you. And there aren't as many of me. I mean, you said 3%. That's shocking to me because I didn't know it was that low, we should be allowed to have abundant, joy filled lives wherever we choose. And just having that resilience of well, they're not going to ruin my day and they're not going to push me out of the place that I want to call home. Period.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Did you just hear what she said? So that's what we as people of color in this town have to deal with all the time. Resilience oh, I don't, they're not going to push me out. It's such a tiring way to live. I'm going to be very honest with you. Those words, those words hit and they, they hit me. They're very true. But what comes along with that is a lot of weight

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Mm hmm.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

and, you know, leaving. My salon and my place, hoping that everyone is safe when they, they leave, that's a lot of

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

hmm.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

you know, and that's something that, like I said in the beginning, I don't know why I'm still here. My husband and I bought land in wine country. And every day I'm like, what are we going to do?

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

hmm.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

What are we supposed to do here? You know, and then I'll get an email from you guys about what you're trying to do. And I'm like, wow,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Mm hmm.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

maybe I'm supposed to stay, you know, it's just, I'm, I'm waiting for these signs, you know, to tell me like what to do, because it's a lot of weight and

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

hmm. Mm hmm.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

It's not easy. It's not easy being here. But like I said, I feel that this is my home too. I grew up here, but it's still that weight,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Oh, I deserve to be here. This whole, I'm, I can walk here. I have every right. Then you do. To walk here. You know, that's a lot and that's tiring

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Right. it is. Because not

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

doing it since I've been

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

yeah, because, and not everybody functions that way.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

It's a lot.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

No one else here has to function that way if they're not a person of color. Because they're allowed to take up space in whatever way they please. And so, that's energy to take up space and if you don't have to think about it, then you don't spend any energy on it. Right. But yeah, I mean, even growing up here myself, I like, I would always gravitate toward friends who I thought would just be like minded and it was tough because it was, I can count on one hand, you know, and That's why leaving and having that refresh and living in such a big city, like LA is a huge city. It's not even really my style, but I lived there and I did so intentionally. And I learned a lot about myself and I learned a lot about, you know, different people and just different walks of life. And so being back here in a different mental space and then also understanding that I am, To raising my child here for however long I need to. Yeah, I think just understanding where you're at in that moment and really deciding what to do with that time wisely and just trying to figure out what it is that I'm supposed to do while I'm here. Cause who knows when it will be that I can just skedaddle if I'm, going

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

I'm right there. I'm right there with you. My daughter just graduated. My son has another with three years to

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Mm hmm. Mm

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

there, but There is a need. I feel that I have to be here, have my business here. I'll leave and I'll walk to my car almost at least once a week. So I'm gonna be like, Oh my gosh. Like they see someone like me, another person of color, like, Oh my gosh. Or, Oh, I've seen you online. Where are you at? Where's your salon?

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

okay, I need to be here

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

that people will see me. And they'll feel like I would see people's shoulders kind of drop like, okay.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Mm hmm. Yeah. Yes.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

okay, it's cool, especially like in Old Town, you know, we're like right in the middle of it.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yes. Right.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

I feel it's like a responsibility to have to show up and to be so that others can see that we're here.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Right. But that's a weight, too. Yeah. You know, like while it's necessary and it's great to have that responsibility. I just want to recognize that When you take something on your shoulders like that, it's a weight, whether you absolutely love it. Or not. It's still, I think that as people of color, women of color, it's we always kind of have that in the back of our mind and just moving throughout life we're doing this not only for ourselves, but for maybe our kids, our family, our ancestors, people who are going to need it in the future, someone to look to in the future. And so I think that we're so strong because of that, but it is like you're saying it's still work. Oh yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

it is. But I mean, we, I do it. I'm doing it for my baby. You know, and I'm not just saying my baby babies. I'm talking about the babies that come and walk into my door and into my salon and showing them and telling them that you are enough, you know, and, and telling them my story. You know, I had a little girl come in. She was like 11. She's this is yours. This is your shop. Like she just couldn't believe it. And I said, yes, you could have one too.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Mm hmm.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

So I think it's, it's important for the babies and I'm a hang in and being there as long as I feel I need to be.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Right. Yeah. Yeah. And I think you're so in touch and you know how to listen to yourself. So even just teaching that is like so far beyond, you know, what we could ever learn. From all of the negativity sometimes that surrounds us. Being able to teach someone how to trust their intuition, listen to themselves. So I think that you'll be able to hear that voice like loud and clear

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Mm hmm. And when I hear it, I'll be like, I love

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah Exactly,

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

I was supposed to stay put, or I don't know. We'll just have to see. We'll have to see what happens with my land. We'll have to see. And that's a whole nother story. We'll have lunch and I'll talk to you guys about that

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah, I'm excited. I see you visit there. And I'm like, Oh, there's something happening here. Okay.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

We'll talk

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yes. Yeah. But yeah, I guess we want to give you before we wrap up an opportunity to plug whatever you want to plug and kind of talk about where everyone can find you on social media.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Oh, gosh. What do I want to plug? I've never been like a plugger, check

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

I know it

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

always the one that shares other people's,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah. I mean, and you can speak to that too. Cause that's another reason like why we wanted to have you on is you're just such a connector and a highlighter of other people.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

If I have my personal brand. So, what I say is I love to sprinkle love into small businesses. That's my jam. It's been my jam, especially BIPOC businesses. But for my business, it's bekekoa.Com. You can go to our website. I have organic products they're clean ingredients. And then I have my salon, which is my curly hair salon, and we service all of our curlies.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Okay. Perfect. And then we will just link all of the social media accounts wherever you want people to follow. How do you prefer that people follow your personal account versus your salon or is there a preference at all?

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

You do both. I mean, it's so, they're so different because my salon, the Be Kekoa, it's my staff, it's my team, it's my work. If you go to my personal brand, I don't talk about work.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Right. Yeah, so you can pick. Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

Yeah,

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

or follow book. Yeah, follow book. Yeah.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

both. Of

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Yeah. Yeah. We link everything for sure. And definitely the Affirmation Cards too because I can't wait for Coco to get those and I, if you guys have littles or even just, even for yourself, for us as women, we need to remind ourselves that our hair is strong and resilient and carries our story. So we'd love to highlight those. We'll link them in our show notes, but we just wanted to thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

course. Thank you for having me.

empaths-anon_3_09-08-2024_173607:

Of course. We're so honored. Yes. And we want to have more convos like this and see how people in Temecula, like us, who are wanting to build communities for other people to feel included, can all get together in some way and, you know, start something beautiful, sprinkle a little love and start little fires that will catch throughout.

mrs-kekoa_2_09-08-2024_173709:

I love that. I'm for it. 100%.

Crystina:

Okay, guys, I'm coming out of that just feeling so inspired and feeling very seen. I think one thing that we talk about A lot is kind of where we're at in life and how maybe it wasn't our first choice, but we're making the best of it. And it was just so interesting, refreshing and surprising to hear that this isn't necessarily where Brandie would choose, but something's keeping her here. Yeah. And really honoring the fact there's a reason for everything. There's a reason why I'm here. There's a reason why you're here. We don't know it yet. Right. And maybe that purpose is going to be fulfilled. Maybe it's not even like a purpose thing. Maybe it's just like a this is where you're safe right now

Danie:

a hundred percent a hundred percent That's how I feel about it. I've one of the biggest things I've taken away from therapy is what I've mentioned before Which is radical acceptance for things out of your control and that allows you to have on a daily basis a much better experience It really allows you to shift your mindset, shift your frame of mind into something different. So I love what she said about, like we mentioned, living in a small, big town. It's small enough to where it kind of gives you that feel, but it's big enough to where you don't necessarily know anybody. Like it's still a rapidly growing city and so we are just trying to make the best of our experience here when in a way, you know, we don't really see a lot of ourselves here or we feel nervous about maybe who we're going to run into and, and we're going to stop that there. That's all right. Cause I'm, cause I can feel myself going on and on about that one. Oh, for sure. So the other thing that we. really enjoyed speaking about was her hair affirmations, which if you follow her on Instagram, she doesn't do that on the salon Instagram, but she'll do it on her personal Instagram, which we will link in the show notes. And she reads from these affirmations, not necessarily on a daily basis, but several times a week and really just. challenges you to think about things in a different way or asking you if that resonated with you or if that made you think of something. And so when we spoke about doing affirmations for hair, of course it was important for me to bring up my daughter because we shared different hair types and it's really important for me that she speak love into her hair and she speaks love to herself and her body. And so we've started that very young, but it was really nice to have that perspective from someone who does have that hair. And the fact that Crystina lives with us is really helpful. There are so many products that I've already started using because of Crystina being here. And it was just such a beautiful conversation to have, especially as it relates to having a natural hair journey.

Crystina:

Right. And I think too, even things that I've seen with your daughters, like I can be that. Example or reassurance for her like when she is saying oh, I wish that my hair is long like girl Our hair is long. Yeah, it's just curly. So it doesn't look like that, right? Or I I want my hair to be straight and it's like yeah, like one day we can straighten your hair, but It's beautiful the way that it naturally is. Right. And that's something that I wish I knew a lot earlier.

Danie:

Yes.

Crystina:

I mean, I can't really blame little me. Yeah. Because I was raised in a predominantly white area and I just wanted to fit in. Yeah. And I had a mom who didn't know how to do my hair. I didn't know how to do my hair. And so the easiest thing to do was to just straighten it.

Danie:

Yeah, and the availability was amazing. Like we talked about a products, the lack of resources that, that were available until your mom was like, okay, well now I know what to do. And I know where to take her and, and to figure it out. And at that time that was like, what she said was a very popular treatment to get your hair relaxed, not knowing the effects that it was. Potentially

Crystina:

having

Danie:

internally,

Crystina:

there's, there's so many lawsuits. I get sent things all the time. Like, have you ever used this chemical relaxer on your hair? You might be eligible for compensation. People are getting cancer. Black women are getting cancer. Yeah. It's from straightening their hair so

Danie:

much. It's feeling a little bit sickening, honestly. Yeah. We can go on and on about natural hair. Really, it's all boiled down to, again, remaining your authentic self, trying to find those moments or, yes, those moments of peace in maybe a situation where you find it being less than ideal or a location that is less than ideal or not your dream spot to live. And really just making the best of it and figuring out what does work for you, what does work for you in this space that you're in. And overall, one of the notes that we made here. After having this conversation was minding your business.

Crystina:

Yes, absolutely. Minding your

Danie:

business, being involved in the community in an authentic and beautiful and kind way, but knowing when to take a step down. And I really, that's my biggest takeaway from that conversation with Brandie.

Crystina:

Yeah. Yeah. I'll see my way out. If I'm not going to be heard and respected, I don't need to use my voice here.

Danie:

Correct. We don't need to argue. We don't. I'm tired of arguing. So

Crystina:

yeah.

Danie:

With that, we hope that you enjoyed. If you've made it to the end of the episode, specifically on YouTube, give us the little spa girl emoji with like the steam because we did talk a lot about treatment and we're going to go and we're going to let you guys get a little sneak peek into her salon. She sells her products worldwide on her website. We will link everything in the show notes down below. As always, please follow us on Instagram at Empaths Anon Pod. YouTube, Empaths Anonymous. Subscribe, turn on your notifications. We're still close to 100 subscribers. I hope by the time this episode releases, we are at 100. But if we're not, please help us get there. Cause we love ya, and we mean it. And we'll chat ya

Crystina:

later, babes. We will chat you later, and you know what we are gonna do now? We are gonna close out this EA meeting. Would you like to say grace? With a prayer. Absolutely. It always gets to hear with the accent. Okay. Okay,

Danie:

yes. Listen, if I'm gonna ask you to say grace, I'm gonna do it this way. Crystina, please say grace. Okay,

Crystina:

let us pray. Spirit, grant me the serenity to honor my timeline.

Danie:

The courage to take up space in my small big town.

Crystina:

And the wisdom to not read a bitch when they try me. Bye! Bye!