Empaths Anonymous

Overcoming Obstacles With Flying Colors with Soco Reynoso

• Crystina + Danie • Season 1 • Episode 30

Share episode

Hi feelers and friends!

This week we have a deep and timely chat with Soco Rey, a licensed psychotherapist, and founder of Soco Rey Therapy. We chat all about community care, healing journeys and why we SHOULDN'T jump to mobilize in times of collective crisis or panic. (Helloooooo - have you seen the state of our country lately!?)

Where to find Soco:
Website
Instagram
Magnolia West Candles



Support the show

Follow us on...
Instagram
TikTok
YouTube

And don't forget to leave a 5 star rating and review so we can continue to grow our support group of feelers. We're so grateful for you guys!

Be featured on our art wall!

Contact:
empathsanonpod@gmail.com

Intro music by Heet Deth

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Systems don't care about us that much. We have to care about us. We have to fortify ourselves, our communities, our homes, our individual selves, our inner lives and get strong there. And then we rise. moving away from anger, moving more into loving myself and not giving a fuck what anybody thinks about me. Allows me to show up in spaces where I know people know you better not fuck with her. Don't fuck with her. I don't know if it's an aura or something, but it says like, this bitch is magical. Stay the fuck away. We have that. We, we come from that. We have to own that.

Speaker:

Welcome to Empaths Anonymous,

Speaker 2:

a space for dreamers, healers, and feelers, navigating the fine line between putting yourself first and holding space for others.

Speaker:

If you struggle with balancing your needs while still supporting your tribe, then you're in the right place.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the support group.

empaths-anon_2_11-18-2024_141119:

Hey feelers, welcome back to Empaths Anonymous podcast. I'm Crystina. I'm Danie. And we are so excited for this episode because we have another newly made friend. They were in acquaintance, now I feel like we can call her a friend because she's just cool as fuck. Yes. You guys are going that with Miss Soco Rey. What's in your cup? A beautiful matcha that my bestie got me. You want to know my love language? I'm bestie. It's me. In case anyone was wondering My love lang, one of them is, I tie between acts of service and quality time, but when you text me Got you a matcha, and I didn't ask you to do that But you know that I love that and you know that I love this one the cardamom Which we've talked about before in this podcast from Press Espresso. We have. Local. that's how I know you're the one. I'm going to take it to the altar. I'm going to take you to the beach. I'm going to take you on vacation. I love you. I'm obsessed with you. Yeah. That's what's in my cup. Yep. Matcha. That is really like a Capricorn placement thing. Cause that's how I am too. Like, I want you to do things for me. Not necessarily like, cause I like want you to spend money on me, but I just want. Things to be done for me like acts of service without having to ask for it. It's the thought. You know, it's the thought. It's the thought. Yeah. It's like, I, I prepared for the thing I knew you needed before you told me about it. Yeah. That's gorgeous. Like cherry on top. Mwah. Chef's kiss. I was already there anyways. So I'm like, why would I not? Why would you not? Mwah. Mwah. But yeah, that's my physical cup and my emotional and mental cup is, yeah. Wonky wonks, I'm feeling super, I don't want to say like my judgment is clouded, but my judgment is clouded. And I'm okay living there for like a moment. A lot of the time I try to like overthink these things like why did I make this choice or how did I get here? Did something trigger me? Did someone do or say something to where now I feel like I'm making certain choices that maybe don't necessarily align With who I am as a person what I need or want which is we're gonna get into the scooby doos of that with Soco But All the while still enjoying myself, having fun, sewing my Royal oats, figuring out things that work best for me. And if that is allowing myself to make mistakes, it's allowing myself to make mistakes. I can't not live life or not do certain things with this. never ending fear of like, what will happen if, what if that, like, I, I mean, what if anything, you know? So I'm feeling good, feeling great actually. And yeah, that's really it. I'm showing up. Well, I like that. I like that. And what is in your cup sister? I have in my cup, it is, what is it? Tepache. Uh, ginger, manzana. Arguably, one of the top three. It's very difficult because the flavors are all fire. File. Tapache. Yes, for real. Do you want to send a case? Yeah, ring our line. Yes, I would say my top three of the ones I've tried because I have not tried every single one, but I also yesterday I had watermelon jalapeno. Oh, and that I think might be my favorite over this. Okay. So I would put that first, the second and mango chili third. Okay. I like the spice. Yeah. You'd like the spice. I love the pineapple spice, but it reminds me of the pineapple juice that we got. Just not as sweet. The pineapple, spicy pineapple juice. I did that with a coconut water yesterday and I was feeling so good after it. Okay. And. And I'm showing up, feeling grounded and resetting. a lot of practices that I used to have that made me feel good. the last few weeks have just kind of been in a, not sort of like a negative mindset, but just mental health wise, not feeling the best. And so I like ask myself as always, I look back to a time where I was really thriving mentally. I'm like, well, what was I doing? And it's like, well, that you were actually getting out of bed and meditating every day. Like, Well, bitch, right. And like, just doing like my spiritual practices that make me feel good. And, and also not beating myself up when I don't. Get to something that day like it's so unrealistic for me at least to meditate journal and go on a walk Mm hmm, you know all all in like an hour span or whatever when I get up. I'm like, it's just so I'm gonna do what I can someday some days. I just go outside I just sit in with my face to the Sun for five minutes And then other days I do a full meditation and then other days I kind of just like talk to myself or pray, whatever you want to call it, while I go on a walk. It just depends on the day. But kind of returning to that and almost making it, while I'm giving myself grace, making it a non negotiable of like doing something. One thing. Because when I get to a point, Place where I feel disconnected. That's when I started feeling really dark, right? So re prioritizing practices that support my mental health. And then also I think I talked about it a few weeks ago, a few episodes ago, but I talked about exploring a relationship and letting myself explore with somebody and I did, and I still was right the first time. And that's okay, like kind of like what you're saying, allowing myself to make the mistake. Allowing myself to let the chips fall where they may. And I did, and I'm proud of myself. I did not cut it off before, and even though it got to the place that I Obviously when you're in a relationship you never want it to like end, or you never want it to go sour, but it's like, it got to that place and I was still okay with it. Yeah. And I had to say it a boundary, and they didn't understand a boundary, and they had a problem with the boundary, so you gotta go. Yeah. If you have a problem with it, that's totally fine. But then it's just, you can't be here anymore. Yeah. You know what I mean? But then you're just not for me. Yeah. So. And that's, that's okay. There's plenty of people for plenty of people. Yeah. I'll say that forever. Yeah, that's good. I kept thinking in my mind, this lesson that we continue to learn over and over again is the smallness of it. When you're choosing something, it's a small thing. That makes a big impact. So it's like trying to strike through things on your list of like, okay, done, done, done, full and complete human being. I'm the best. Right. to even feel semi worthy because then at the end of the day, we're like, well, what about this? And what about that? And what about this? Just so that constant. Never ending list of things to do to improve yourself. So a small non negotiable. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Sitting my face to the sun. Small non negotiable. Yeah. Comment. What's your small non negotiable every day? I love that. That is good. But yeah, basically, that is where I'm at. I'm feeling more grounded because I'm starting to prioritize myself relationally and personally. So, that's going well. so like we, like Danie was saying, the funsies of it all, we have a lot planned. And then after we go see Marcelo Hernandez, I'm, I don't like calling it diets. Because I just don't I have a unhealthy relationship with that But I'm basically resetting my system. Not that I think I'm a super unhealthy eater or whatever like unhealthy habits. I just if I don't set guardrails for myself. I just throw caution to the wind and then I get to a point now where i'm like My pants are fitting tight. My bra is fitting tight, you know when you like You've put on a bra and like the band is like getting you back fat and you're like, oh it's time. Yeah, I notice, obviously everyone is gonna notice changes in one's body but the thing for me, which is something you mentioned more often than the body changes externally, are the body changes internally. Yes. How are we feeling inside? How are we waking up? Yeah. Are we waking up with brain fog? Well. Stop eating candy. For me, that's the thing for me, the sweet treats. So it's like, I am not sure that I'm the type of person to find an alternative in that way, or if I'm just the person who just needs to kind of cut all that out. Hmm, because I'm a slippery slope kind of bitch. Yeah. And that, yeah. Yeah. I'm the same way. Yeah. I don't really have a lot of self-control and I know that about myself. So if I buy a box of Tate's cookies, I'm eating all the Tate's cookies, you know, like I can't span it out over a few weeks and just have a cookie one, one once a week or whatever. No. Eat. You're not either, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I'm just like using an example, like I cannot portion, I cannot ration uhhuh is what I'm saying. I'm not a ration. Right. When I lived by myself, it was really easy to curb because it's like, I just wouldn't buy it. Correct. When you're sharing spaces with people or you're like out doing stuff and having fun. And like we have our cozy nights in where we watch movies and shows and like we're having little snacks, which is great and fun. And every once in a while we are still allowing ourselves to do those things. Yeah. But I, my once in a while turns into an all the time habit thing. So, I'm just doing a full reset. So I'm doing whole 30 for 30 days from Marcello until I don't even know if it'll actually be a whole 30 because it's, I'm going to do it until my birthday. So it might be like a couple of days shy of 30, but whatever. And around up. Yeah. And I'm also doing a complete cleanse system. So it's a parasitic cleanse. A candida cleanse, a metal, heavy metals cleanse. It cleanses everything. So, but it said, while you're doing the cleanse, you also have to watch what you're eating. Cause if you keep eating things with parasites in it or heavy metals in it, it's like, there's no point in doing this. So I'm doing them both with each other so that they both can have the best effect. Right. And I just don't feel good. Like I just feel yucky. I had blaze pizza yesterday and I got a little stoned. So I like ate like, Almost like I ate all of it. Okay, minus the crust because I'm not a crust girl, which is fine They're not like they're big pizzas. No, it's like you had a stadium pizza I'm not taking i'm not ever taking her to a stadium pizza. That crust is fucking crazy. Yum Yeah, that's like very bready very like home style like like a sports bar pizza Yeah I mean to this day. I miss their pepperoni pizza Yeah, I went to Blaze and I ended up eating the whole thing and then all night I was like, oh my stomach. I'm like, well, no, duh, bitch, you ate a whole pizza at like 9 30 PM. Oh, it was the lateness. Yeah. Yeah. So I just overall have not been feeling great lately. So I'm going to change that because I can either keep going and then, you know, be like really in a situation where like I'm really having to focus on my health or I can be proactive and just deal with it head on. So that's what I'm doing. Yeah, I don't know if I like have the means to go fully plant based again, but I do remember feeling really good being plant based. All goes back to taking care of oneself, understanding what that means for you, as always, be honest with yourself which is something that we talk a lot about in the book. More in depth about with our lovely guest, always a lovely guest. Side note, every time I'm editing myself introducing, they're always a lovely guest. And it's always such a treat. And, oh, such a treat. And it's absolutely fantastic. Yes. I sound like my aunt. Oh, Andre. Hi, Anna. Oh, hi, Anna. We know you're watching. We love ya. But yes, we are so, happy and excited to introduce Soko. So without further ado, stick around and listen. We'll be right back.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Today we have on Soco Rey, who is a licensed psychotherapist and the founder of Soco Rey Therapy, a group practice in Inglewood, California. Her niche is working with women of color who are ready to break free from the need for approval and motivated to find who they are on their own two feet. Soco's passion is guiding black and brown people into realizing their power and why she built her practice. She firmly believes that it is when people in these margins realize their magic and power When we know how lovable and worthy we are and walk in it that this world will finally get right. Welcome to the podcast SoCo!

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I'm happy to be here with you too. And just to clarify, Soco Ray is the name of the practice. My name is Socorro Reynoso. And I shortened it. That's my stage name, y'all.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Oh, okay, okay. Again, thank you so much for coming on. The first thing that we'd like to ask our guests is what is in your cup? Both physically, what did you bring to drink today? And how are you showing up mentally? Emotionally?

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay, so I had ideas to make what I normally have ready. I usually drink apple juice that's boiled with ginger and mint and lemons in it. It's my little digestive support for the day. Didn't have time this morning, so instead I have reverse osmosis water. I purchased an Arkin and I suggest everybody start drinking and being really mindful about the water that you're ingesting. Now, okay, so that's what I'm drinking. Now, how am I showing up? Today I'm showing up grounded, hopeful, excited. And also there's some nervous energy flowing through my body right now because of relational stuff.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Hmm.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

But it's, it lessens as the day goes on as, and as I become more involved in my own life, it lessens. So that's where I am now.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yes. Yeah. I like that reminder.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Thank you.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I could always find a reason to be anxious or nervous. So kind of deciding to be in your own element and doing the things that help you feel back to, to square one is really important. That's good. Okay. Yeah. Having a little grounding practice. I was telling Danie that today I have always. mean to do like a affirmation practice or a meditation practice before we record because sometimes when we are just in the busyness of setting up and then we sit down in front of the mic and i'm like Then anxious because of the adrenaline i'm sitting in front of the mic and i'm like, I don't even know What to bring to the mic right now. So yeah, I feel like it's important to like prioritize that. Mm hmm

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yes, yes, we have to. Especially, yeah, when you're recording and when you're a host, it is, it is a lot of pressure to like, uh, tend to the person, pay attention, and remember what to say next. Yeah, it's a

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Right. Yes. Yeah. So I always want to show up to the green couch as the best version of myself that day and then give myself grace that it may not always happen. I may show up feeling a little not in my embodied self, so, mm

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

okay. Yep.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah. So you've shared a little bit of your journey at the self love summer jam. That's kind of how we became acquaintances. We met you there. Can you go more into your story for our listeners and just kind of talk about your background and why you decided to go into the work that you did? Yeah.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

when people ask me, I'm like, damn, I keep giving like a new answer every time, but I'm like, each one is right! Each one is true! That's true. So, okay. My sibling set was removed from our mother when I was 14. My mother is black. Father's Mexican. Father had, was a resourced Mexican man. Made good money, family, has money. Mom, poor, rural South. And Taken because she abused my older sister. Which in California looks like poor parenting, but not in other places in the world isn't. And my mom didn't have an opportunity to redeem herself and to get the support she needed to get us back because money talked, power talked. And so I began my career as a CPS worker in Ventura County. And when I got there, that's when it clicked. I was like, Oh, that's the subconscious reason for finding your way into this job. Like, I know I would work with parents and you know, I would get these parents who were like, it's really fucked up shit. And I was just like, I believe in you and I'm going to support you. And I'm going to be to you what my mother didn't have. And I'm going to see to it that unless you're still on the wild shit, you're going to get your kid back. So, yeah. In some ways, it was like a way for me to redeem my life story through that work it has a lot to do with growing up between cultures too. And so my, I'm third generation Mexican American and the descendant of slaves. And so here in California, the San Gabriel Valley is where my father's family's from again, resourced. But. I have a very close relative who was addicted to cocaine, who his parents won't believe it, but he's got the scars to prove it. Like lung collapses. He's working at one of the finest institutions making a significant amount of money and his life keeps moving. He's able to meet women, have partners, have children, have a house, have people over on the weekends and grill for them and live in a way that seems fulfilled. And then on my mom's side, It's just like growing up as a child, you look up to your uncles, right? And they're like, Oh, nice. And this is back in the day when you used to be able to come into the airport to pick up your family. So we would fly to Mississippi and it was like this huge celebration, right? Like Marsha's kids are here. And they were my heroes. These guys, my mom has four brothers and they're all tall and strong and funny and big character. People, you know, And I saw one maintain himself that way. And then he got in a car accident and died. Like, that's a bummer. And then the others are like, it's bad. And so I'm going down there and I'm just like 16 or whatever age. And they're asking me for money now and asking me for favors. And I'm like, this is somebody helped me make this make sense. Because over here, my uncle gets to stay my King and my aunts get to stay my Queens. And over here. they just fall and it's like, somebody helped me make sense of this because they're both my family. Why is one working this way? One isn't right. so I came into this field cause I'm like, there is a huge problem. There are people who don't have resources and don't understand how to pull themselves up out of hardship, how to shift their mind, how to believe differently. So, and then, you know, he living here in LA and I worked between group homes 30, 40 year old able bodied black men with shirts off, pushing grocery carts, talking to themselves. It's just like, it's maddening to see. I'm like, that's someone else's uncle. And that's someone else's uncle too. And it's like, I can't fix all of them, but I can create something that can help some of them. And so those are the two big reasons for why, why I do this work.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Right. I love that. Why? Yeah. There's definitely a. double standard when it comes to mental health for women and mental health for men. And the fact that, like you said, your mom just didn't have the resources to basically be able to get you guys back in her life. Whereas, men, almost society gives them this free pass to keep, you know, doing these toxic patterns and, uh, you know, essentially just hurting themselves. And it's tragic, like you said, to, live in cities where we see people who look like us are not, receiving that care that they need because they've already, you know, been written off, or they're fine, they're just being men, or they'll figure it out on their own, and it's like, well, no, like, why can't we, as a community, say that, like, we want to see our dads and our uncles and our grandfathers, et cetera, et cetera. Thrive and have a healthy life in the same way that women do. I think that we're just a little bit more emotionally tapped in

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah. Or, or tapped out. I think that. I think the big thing that spoke and speaks is power and money. And if you have access to capital, then nothing else really matters. Yeah. Yeah. And more often than not, well, depending on the community, but men, it's easier for most men to have more capital than it is for women at this current state. Yeah.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah, yes, certainly. That's interesting. I'm gonna have a think about that because a lot of the time we just kind of see things on the surface and especially when we're witnessing things from the outside It's hard until you're really in there, right? You're in the career that you chose doing social work but that you also advocated for those parents that although they were making poor choices and they weren't treating their children in the way that was What like you mentioned earlier socially or judicially, in a sense, acceptable you still advocated for those people and treated them like humans and said, Hey, I'm going to give you these opportunities to get your Children back. I think that's something that we don't really consider that social workers do. They a lot of the time we're like, Oh, there's protect the kids, protect the kids, get them out of a bad situation, help them out like they have to get taken away. But yeah, It really comes down to creating this family unit that's just healthy for everybody.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I love that.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I could say so much more forever and ever about the child welfare system and how backwards it is, but yeah, we can go on. We can move on.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah, Yeah. we recently had a conversation with a guest of ours who is a product of the foster care system and within the last couple of years graduated with her bachelor's degree, which only 1%, as I'm sure you know, are able to accomplish. So it was a very emotional conversation and we appreciate that vulnerability. But Yeah. just talking about that system is. I mean, talk about episodes on episodes on episodes. We could do a whole mini series on the system, for sure. I mean, there's whole podcasts dedicated to that, So So we wanted to kind of rewind a little bit here. From your adolescence up until this moment now, which versions of young Sokoro, it's Sokoro, yes?

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

you SoCo though. I go by SoCo.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

okay, so young Soko were pivotal in making the choice to become a licensed psychotherapist. So you did kind of touch on this a little bit earlier, but when you were experiencing those things like with your uncles, when you were 14 through 16 or so, were, those were moments where that clicked? Where you thought, okay, I'm going to be in the profession of service.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

You know, I think I was born knowing that I had to serve. I come from a civil servant family, all educators. And social workers is our family. There's a few who got out. Like I got some families in tech. I'm like, you were smart. That was wise. So I've always just, that's how we live and operate in like Christmases. We don't do gifts. We like pull money together and give to a family. Like, that's how I've been raised and nurtured. But there, I'm trying to think of like moments. Well, okay, when I was 12 and my whole life felt like it was falling apart, I remember walking across Magnolia Junior High's fields with my backpack on, fingers under my backpack straps and being like, I think my great uncle, he had mentioned this phrase, overcoming obstacles with flying colors and it just like stuck to me and it like clicked in that moment where I was like, Oh, this is an obstacle. And it's like, I could. Fuck off. And at that moment I was like, I now understand why people act up in class. Like I now have full permission. Everything's falling apart. Like no one could tell me not to, but I was like, Nope, we're going to do the opposite. We're going to overcome this with flying colors. And so that led to a lot of repression, which translated to a lot of educational and professional success when we repressed. So that was one moment. And then and undergrad, I was studied at Claremont McKenna and at Harvey Mudd college, there was a program called Upward Bound that was for First gen students they would be first gen college students, the first of, you know, so it was mostly Mexican from El Monte and La Puente. And I was teaching there. I, math was something that I was good at, still am. And I was teaching math and I loved being around these kids. They were so smart, but they were also like, I could tell they had come from a path similar to my own, like hardship. So they had the hardship, but they had the hope and the like determination. And it were clearly, they, they came and lived on a college campus for seven weeks straight. Couldn't see their families. Okay. Like true college life. And we worked 7am to 10pm. That was crazy. Those were some crazy times, but that job showed me, cause my whole family's teachers, like I said, Oh, you don't want to teach. It wasn't the teaching. It was the sitting with them and sharing with them what they needed to hear. And what I knew that could help them. So that, that moment is when I was like, okay, so it's, you want to work with people. You want to help people see themselves in a way that helps them be who they want to be in the world. Shift their sense of self. Yeah. That became clear. So we'll save like 21, 22. That became clear to me.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

And then, wait, let me tell you one more thing. And my first job out of undergrad was State Farm as a fucking auto claims rep. Cause, you know, we, I just, sisters needed a

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yes, absolutely.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

at all the cubicles though. And I was like, first of all, these cubicles and me don't match. Cause again, came from a family of educators. Like we have offices and classrooms, not cubicles. And seeing like the food that was in the break room and how like this guy had been at the job for 40 years and he was like severely overweight and unhappy. And I'm like, this woman has to take a smoke break every 15 minutes. And it's like, Oh, it ain't here. I am not doing this kind of service. I need to serve the people. and that made it crystal clear. And that's what pushed me into grad school. I was like, hell no, I will not be unhappy and unfulfilled. I will go to grad school cause I know what I'm here to do. I'm here to serve. Let's go get it.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah, it's so funny finding the things where you know that like, it's not, you know, like, I know this is absolutely not it for me. Yeah, being in the, in the corporate space was that for me, I

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

For you.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

like, like childcare, then bumped around to like hospitality, which I loved, but again, service. And then now I'm with junior hires. And back to the kids, but like with that age group, it was my first time with that age group. And they're outstanding people. And so I just like, I'm like, okay. I definitely know what it's not. And I do know what it is. So those experiences are so great.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

They are, but now I want to know, what are you doing with junior high students?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I work with multilingual learners. So, anyone who's learning English, I have anyone from Arabic to Farsi. My Korean student recently left me. I'm so sad. But it was Korean. And then we have a lot of students coming in from Guatemala. So many of them understand and speak conversational Spanish, but A lot of them actually speak Maya, their indigenous language.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

beautiful.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

in a way, it's like they are not able to read and write in Spanish, so it's trying to learn how to be trilingual when you're learning English. Because we don't have Google Translate for indigenous languages.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

No, not yet. They better get on that though. Wow.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

think. There's so many. But it's such a, it's such a small population of people who speak it that it's, it's tough. But yeah, it's I'm kind of like I, the way I joke about it is like I'm their live in tutor, and I follow them to all of their classes. So wherever they're going, I'm going and making sure they understand the content and translating.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

oh, you have a very important job.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I love it. I love it. I feel like especially this school year, like the budget opened up, we were able to hire three more of us. So now it's like every single class, we're able to have two of my position in one class when we have a larger group. And that was so unheard of from last school year. So I just love that they put a What's the word? They made it a priority this year for our English learners to succeed. Mm hmm.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Awesome. Thank you.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah, of course. going back to like, Sparking from something that you said, this concept of, building people up, instead of tearing them down when it comes to children and when it comes to even adults, this idea that, we basically have to, kind of, give them the tough love and the hard love and basically tell them all the things that they're doing wrong. But I think, kind of like you said, you saw this perspective because you were in their shoes and so you knew what they really needed. And so you were really able to help nurture those things out of them which I think is really indicative of being a healer and somebody who's meant to do the work that you're meant to do. So can you speak just a little bit more about that? Like how can we, even in our own communities, in our own circles, when we have people who are hurting like what are ways that like every person can kind of, Bring the good out of others by being a healer or, you know, on our podcast, we focus on like being an empath. How can we then use that superpower to heal our communities? Yeah.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

a good question. I think some of us intuit what is needed. It's not even a thought process. We experience something and we know how to show up. And I think it's not that easy for everyone. I think the best thing that we could do, the thing that we could do that can equip us to best care for and tend to those in our families, communities, otherwise, is learn how to tend to ourselves. If you become very soft, warm, compassionate, loving, kind, patient, and begin to take time to recognize what it is you need and what emotion signals a certain need, you get real good at being able to read what other people need. And more often than not, it's just like moving slowly listening to someone, being with them in the experience, not trying to fix it. So I think the way that you can prep yourself to show up for others is by really fine tuning how it is that you are relating to yourself. And it's like, the coolest part is it's not even work beyond that. When you are really tuned into you, you're just, you're that person who calls people, baby, honey, you're patting people on the shoulder, you know, you're saying hi to strangers. It just naturally oozes out of you because you're full. Cause you filled yourself up. Yeah. so I think that would, that's how.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. I have to watch my language sometimes because I don't know like if certain kids are like uncomfortable with like little pet names, but I just I say it without thinking. So like, there like asking, Oh, I need help. I'm like, Yes, love. What do you need love? You know, because I feel that way for them, like they are my love. And so I. just have to be kind of cautious around like administration of the politics of it all. It gets kind of like wonky, but yeah, I, after I say it, I'm like, God dang it.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Well, I mean, maybe you either want to keep doing it or ask administration because honestly, that's like really healing that kind of energy. You know, some of us have never been called love and when you get called love, you're just like, I like that. Not even on no sexual shit either, right? Like, Oh, that feels good. Yeah. Yeah.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Just to be cared for. Yeah. It's like you're overflowing with so much love. Right. For them. It's like you have your own cup filled, right? So then you're able to like overflow for other people. So it's like how can you stop that? Yeah, it's really hard. And then I noticed that, you know, kids know who to be vulnerable with. I try really hard not to, like, overstep that boundary. I won't ever ask them kind of personal things, but if they just start to share those things with me willingly, I appreciate that so much because I know what that takes for some of those kids. And so if it's of concern, obviously I'll share it to my colleagues and such, my boss. But if not, like I hold it close to my chest and I'm like, you know, I appreciate that that student was able to share that with me. Because it just doesn't happen very often. And so I am so thankful when they can do that with me.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah, sacred.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah, it does take work though, which we also like to explore on here too, because we always say like we're empaths in recovery. Because it's always something that you have to work on. Right. But it's like you said, you have to tend to yourself and you have to know what you're doing. Your own limits too. Is that something that you were able to develop from a young age because of your experiences?

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

No, I just learned my limits! No, this shit takes a long fucking time. Uh, it does, I mean, Well, like you both probably, we had to Get shit done to make sure we could live on our own first. That was like the big push, right? Is like, go to school, get good grades, get the degree, get the job, get the place, get the car, right? Like all that first. And then once you have all that, you're like, and I still feel this empty hole in my stomach. Why do I feel a void? And it's like, well, that's because you have not met your emotional needs at all. Matter of fact, you don't even know what they are. So, So no, I, I started therapy when I was 14 when my parents split and I was like 14. I went for probably a year. And then like in college, I learned that I was passive aggressive. I was like, Oh, that's a helpful lesson. So like a year in college I did therapy and then like sprinkled, right. It was sprinkled. In 2021 I began working with a different kind of healer. someone who didn't have degrees, but she had intuition and she was a medium. So she saw things where I was like, I should have came to you when I was 14. Cause she can see, she sees through right. all the blocks and walls that I had to be strong. The other therapist couldn't penetrate, but she did. So that started my deep healing work. And it was through, I had not yet faced how badly I was hurting internally. I thought like, well, you know, look around me. if the fruits of my labor are this, then I must have, I must be fine. No, it's a coverup. so 2021, I started like actually, and I moved down South too. And I got to really be more near my mom and saw like, Ooh, there's a lot of pain here between me and this lady. so like holding space for finally getting with the hurt and tending to the wound. and becoming the mother I always needed. It's been, you know, I'm getting really good. I want to give myself like a B plus. I'm getting really fucking good, but it's been a three, almost four year journey of it. and I, you know what? I think that it's forever. I think that I'll be like the perfect mother on my dying day. Yeah. yeah. What about you guys? Do you feel like you are able to recognize your needs? And did you know early on? Yeah,

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

really, So I, I'm the oldest, well, we're both oldest children. But I grew up with a mom who was chronically ill. So I kind of very quickly became hyper aware of everything and I was kind of the, I'm a third caretaker of my siblings because, you know, between like my mom being in the hospital, my dad being in the hospital with her, or working two jobs to help us stay afloat with all the medical bills and stuff, I was just like basically left to go. Worry about everything and now like this year I actually got diagnosed with OCD and I've been able to track down the root of like, I've always worried. So it's like, it makes sense that I have developed this disorder that is about self doubt and worry. So I think I'm always on the journey. 2020 I think like a lot of people can relate is like we had that time. Alone because we were all, you know, quarantined and stuff. And so that's kind of like really when I started doing the healing and the spiritual work, it kind of just like hit me over the head and it was like, the way that you've been living life has been self abandonment, like overachieving is not really achieving anything for your inner world. And so it was like, you have to stop and just. Stop this pattern because like inside you don't like yourself. You're doing all of these things and you're getting this degree and you're getting this job and this title and you're keeping yourself busy to mask and to make you feel like you're good enough instead of just believing it. So kind of started then. And so, yeah, I think like over the last four years, but I think even in the last year, it's been, I've been proud of myself for really. Not only recognizing my boundaries and my limits, but putting things in place so I don't get to my limit because once I'm already there It's like everything's out the window, you know

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay. So you're like college level because I feel like that's good when you start to be like, predict you're like, Oh, no, I know if I go. Nope. I'm gonna pull it back now. So I don't go there. Yeah. You're able to be prevented proactive now. That's a

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

a Little Yeah. Yeah.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yes, love

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah. What about you? That's a good way to put it is like the predictions in the proactivity. I think I'm at the prediction stage, so maybe I'm still in high school with it.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

You're senior.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I am, I got senioritis. I'm a super senior. No, I think 2020 was, I guess, pivotal for the both of us in very different ways. This is the first time we've been in this close proximity to one another. We've always had a, Long distance friendship. I like to call it 13 years. We met our freshman year of college.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Oh, how sweet.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

been across like different states and you know, she's here, I'm there. So this is our first time being like, not only in the same state, but in the same house. So we went from like zero to a hundred, which has been such a fantastic and amazing journey. But yeah, and 2020 just a few months into the pandemic, I actually became pregnant. And so. A lot happened there. I learned a lot about myself through my pregnancy, through the delivery of my child, which I was like pretty adamant on delivering her naturally, but also open to any and all ideas for the protection of myself and her,

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yep. Oh,

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

interesting and transcendent experience there. It was me and her, and that was it. Like we were communicating. On a very different level. Yeah. Laughter

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

to pop a baby out. That sounds beautiful.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

mean, it was very beautiful. It was very hard. but I just really have this thought in my mind where it's like, every time I think back to it, I just have this idea that like, we listened to each other. So it's like, I was listening to her. She was listening to me. It was like, it was very much teamwork, right? So I think that was kind of the start of everything. I exited a relationship that was no longer serving me or my family. And so from that point, it's been a whole complete reset button. It's like the staples. That was easy, except this shit's hard. That's my button. Yeah.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah. Yeah.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

that's the button I pressed and that was last year. And so really ebbs and flows of trying to figure that out. Those things out for myself. I'm kind of like a solid brick wall when it comes to my feelings in certain ways. So, when I do get in front of my therapist, I can intellectualize everything that's happening to me and everything that I'm feeling. But I still feel like what you said, there is, no one has tapped in for real.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

no one's really like uncovered a lot of the things that probably need to get uncovered. And I'm kind of hiding behind this, like, well, there's certain things that just needs to get done. So I don't have time. You know, I don't have time to get cracked open. I cannot be Humpty Dumpty over here.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

child to raise. I have a podcast to be present for. I'm in school part time and I work part time. So it's like Danie is always, you know, that last person, but it's like, how long, bro?

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Right.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

You know, how long in time? Like, uh, hold on.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

How old are you?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I'll be 33 in January.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay. You know, sometimes the psyche knows what it's doing. Sometimes the psyche is like, we ain't ready yet. It's too, it's too much going on. So. I don't know if you pray, but that might be something you want to pray on because you don't want to avoid, but you do if it's in your best interest. At the end of this, I will email you guys the link to my healer who, now, now the shit she told me to open me up, that was one session. So then I worked with her to help me continue opening up. So you could book a session and just have her crack you open real quick. Here's the question she asked me that cracked my ass open. She said, how happy are you? Really?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Hmm.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

zero to 10. And no one had ever asked me that. But like in my mind, I was like, I own a home. I have a business around the corner. And when she asked me, I was like, Oh shit. At the time I was stressed the fuck out. And I told her, I think I said one. And she goes, Nope, three. And I was like, okay, three is better than one. But anyway, that question, I was like, Oh my God, this is the first person who has looked at me and without knowing me knows that I'm deeply unhappy inside.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Mm

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

which was helpful info.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah. Yes. So he says that she's a medium.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

She's a medium and intuitive. She does a lot of medical mediumship, so she can like scan your body and tell you, Oh, it was the corn you ate last night. Your body doesn't like that. Like she's really, it's a skill. It is a gift.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I need that. I think when I think of like a medium, I think of people who can communicate with the other side, right? Like I guess I'm not thinking of spiritual medium as far as what's going on inside you. Yeah.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

can do both, but yes, yes, inside and out. Mm hmm. She reads energy.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay. I would be very curious for both. Because when I first, so, I moved back home. Because I needed that support. And so it was kind of like this whirlwind like I moved in officially in like June or July And then she came through in October and we're like, I guess we're figuring this the fuck out together Yeah, which has been incredible. We both kind of had like life crash and burns in the same like three months

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Oh, wow. Okay. That's you guys. You guys are going to be sisters for life.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah, that's all just so much to navigate. Yeah. I'm like, I already told you. I'm like, I don't even really care if you don't like you stop liking me. Like it's it is what it is. Like I'm going to bother you. I really am. So it's like, in a sense on paper, I'm a single mom, but I actually never feel that way. Like, I never feel like a single mom. I

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

You have community,

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

have a huge community. I have a huge support system. So I never take that for granted because I know that's not everybody's experience with leaving, with leaving what doesn't serve them any longer. And we've been able to just hang out a lot more and it's been, I think, healing for all of us, but yeah, tapping into like the reality of where I am, you might be onto something there where it's like, maybe I'm not quite ready to crack.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Could be.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

certain things that, like, I need to stay focused on, and to be cracked open is, like, I need to have the privilege of time. Which

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

bit.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

currently, currently don't have too much of. Which is okay. I'm actually very fine with being as busy as I am.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah, right if I don't know, if you're into astrology, but if it's any indication She is a capricorn sun and rising with an aquarius moon. So that bitch is solid. She's like you are not getting through these walls

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay. Oh, but the moon in Aquarius, that's that though. I don't know. Okay, but yeah, I hear you. I

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

why I can show up. It's why I can show up here. I've always been a highly sensitive person in the way that like I'm sensitive to other people's experiences and also sensitive to how people perceive me, especially as a very young person. I once cried because someone said my bun looked weird and it was like a very real feeling for me.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

So, I'm kind of like there with it. Like my, I can definitely tap in, but for other people to see it, I'm like, not you.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Selected with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That Capricorn rising is going to stay guarded.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

And I recently figured out that I thought I was Sagittarius rising, but I got mine and my brother's birth times mixed up because I'm only five minutes apart.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Oh, are you a twin?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

No, but he, we were born in the same hour, three years apart, but in the same

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay. Okay. Interesting.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

So it's been very interesting to come to terms with the cap rising. I'm like zero degree though. So it's like, ah, almost made it. Yeah.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Careful though, because I'm thinking about your moon in Aquarius. I think that that would be second house. Which rules values, material possessions to your emotions are very much linked to what you own and have. And so that might be why you stay doing the work, work, work, work, work. I read this book by Dr. Jennifer Freed that says if you want to balance a part of your chart that might be causing you some restriction or grief or whatever, if, if that moon in Aquarius is causing you some issues, not allowing you to open up and be in other places emotionally. You would look across from Aquarius, which is what? What's directly across from Aquarius on the chart?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Leo.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Leo. You would exercise more Leo energy. Emotionally. Now, I don't know what that would look like exactly. I guess Oh, maybe like showmanship. Anyway.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Hmm.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

We would need more time to talk about the nitty gritty of it.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Well, you know, funny enough, my daughter's a Leo moon.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Oh, wow! She's your balance mate! Okay! Whee!

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

And Capricorn son. Mm hmm.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Wow.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

mini me for sure. But in like the best way, like she looks exactly like her father. But like personality wise, that girl's nuts and absolutely absolutely. Derived from her mother. Yes, and she what I love about her so much and what I love that you nurture in her is that she's gonna be at four in January, she will absolutely tell you what she needs and what she's feeling with absolutely no problems. Yes

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Oh, so that's what you need. That's your balance. You need to be more like that.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

do I think

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Oh, you

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

think we're on to something I do okay

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay. I love it.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

watch my daughter. Okay, fine. But just in the way that she's like, I need this, or I don't like that, or give me space, maybe just like practicing more of those things in your own life. Yeah. Like, this is what I need, and you can either be cool with it or not,

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah. Being more. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

even getting to the point where it's like, understanding what I need is part of the problem. There's a lot of question marks. Yes. Many, many question marks come after that question.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

need? And it's like a long list of things that I don't know. Do I need this? Like, is that actually true? Or do

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Have I just been conditioned to think that I need something? Yes.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

what's hurting? What still hurts? Where are my wounds? And then you're like, okay, so if a wound is abandonment, right, I need safety or whatever. that's how we therapists work. Like, what is the hurt? I can tell you what you might need from that point. Yeah,

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I like that. Yeah, I like that. But I'm on the same page as what you're saying is like Aquarius as well. They might seem emotionally aloof. They're like the Humanitarian collective healers. So it's like you are very deeply sensitive but like to your point about other people

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

yeah, right.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

that and I can be that very much for somebody. And I love being that actually. But for someone to like show up in that way for me, I'm like, I, Oh no. Okay.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay. She needs to learn how to let it in. Okay.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

yeah,

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

That's practice. Okay.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

We did want to talk about just with everything that's, you know, happened in the last two weeks and we did see one of your posts talking about the election and politics and starting with ourselves really and that's how we ignite change I think one of the things that I stepped away from while it was very Disappointing and hurtful. For Black and brown people specifically like how do we mobilize past this feeling of defeat after? Seeing, you know the climate of what our country is going through

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

How do we mobilize? I'm, I'm actually not super interested in mobilization right now. I'm more interested in the wellness of the individual. Okay. I think because I feel like we continue to bypass ourselves because there's this bigger fight and I've only been alive almost 41 years, but I can read history books and I'm like this, this is the same shit y'all. And we've been trying the same methodology and we haven't really gotten where we want to go. So we're going to keep fighting it the same way. And as a person, as a therapist, as someone who carries her own anger, I know anger very well. Almost every person who is like totally appalled that Trump won and very angry, and just people who are like angry at systems and who, when you sit and talk with them about issues, it's all about them and us. That when I was an undergrad, I used to understand that. And that felt powerful to separate. At this age and stage, I'm like, I don't believe that that's the solution anymore. I think that people need to tend to their own anger. Like, I'm talking to you guys. Right. And how I've worked with myself too, is like, and you, thank you for being so honest and expressing that you just recently got an OCD diagnosis. It's like, you don't need to be on nobody's fucking front lines. You need to take care of your nervous system.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yes, thank you for that.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

don't, I, I love you and you'd probably show up, but I don't think you'd be the best soldier. You know?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

You're like, come on, Christina, let's go. Yeah.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Like, I also am not getting ready to lead a revolution because right now my focus is on building a blissful domestic life. And I want that for myself, and I deserve that, and I'm not going to forego that. Because I'm fighting for systemic change. I'm a fucking social worker. I've dedicated my entire life to shifting the collective. So for the people who are like angry and trying to figure out and plot and plan ways to like fix shit. I'm just like It's it's not like a big boom of fixing it's small steps. What are you doing for yourself? Have you called your mother today?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah,

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

the people who love you and who you love know that you love them? Have you been able to show up in that way, right?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah,

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Systems don't care about us that much.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

No,

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

We have to care about us. We have to fortify ourselves, our communities, our homes, our individual selves, our inner lives and get strong there. And then we rise. I myself can say, I have seen the shift in my moving away from anger, moving more into loving myself and not giving a fuck what anybody thinks about me. Allows me to show up in spaces where I know people know you better not fuck with her. Don't fuck with her. I don't know if it's an aura or something, but it says like, this bitch is magical. Stay the fuck away. We have that. We, we come from that.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

hmm

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

We have to own that. And if we all, if I'm locking in my power and love, it's not just power to dominate. Like I believe the black and brown people, our power is power of love. Right? Power, like sovereignty of self, like making sure everyone's okay. If we're all walking around like that, they don't stand a fucking chance anymore. But we're not walking around like that because we're so busy being angry and fighting the system. It's like your system fighting has not proved very viable, honey.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Mm hmm Yeah.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Go take care of your nervous system and bring your ass back out when you're ready.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yeah.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

also very much, I know that some people are like not with that. At all. But I finally am like ready to exercise my voice. And I'm like, I've been wanting to say this shit for a long fucking time. You guys need to go fix yourselves first. Not you guys, not you guys.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

No. No, I would definitely put myself in that category. Right. For sure. Yeah. I, that is kind of like what I wanted to lead to is that we, the system succeeds when we keep putting ourselves in boxes and saying the you versus them. This issue versus this issue this culture versus this culture this way of thinking versus that There's so many of us and even though it looks defeating by the numbers. I don't care about the numbers if I feel like what I picture in my mind is kind of like a Hunger Games kind of thing where it's like if Everybody just came together And like you said, love is our focus and we're loving ourselves and loving our families and our communities and then that just love spreads. They can't fuck with us. We're so powerful and I just wish that, I mean, I guess this is my megaphone. I wish that we could see that we have so much power and if we just stopped the fighting and the finger pointing, they wouldn't stand a chance against us.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I agree with that completely. Yes. They wouldn't. And it's not like we don't have some formula where it's like, okay, we would all be loving and then come together. And then we submit this assembly bill. It's like, it ain't even that. And that's the thing too, is it's like, sure legislation impacts us. But if you focus on what you do have control over and just nurture that, like that noise gets a little more quiet. Again, I know that like, yeah, say I get pregnant, can't have my abortion. Then I'm gonna feel like this shit's really fucked up. And there are certain people who are going to have those experiences. There are some people that are having those experiences right now where they're limited. I did under Biden's administration, a black woman in New Orleans couldn't get medical care or legal support. It's been happening just cause he gets in. It doesn't mean like shit's all the way backwards or different, you know?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

right. Yeah

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

yeah, I want us to come back to what we know, how we know to live, how we know to exist. Yeah, yeah. And build, build a community within first. I'm with you. Yeah,

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Is we're not on this couch to just shoot the shit. Anybody can do that We do sometimes just to kind of lay off some of like the heavy stuff that we always bring to the table but I think that community and creating and cultivating something that's important to us and important to other people that look like us, feel like us, experience the same things. It's really our goal here. It's like off of the velvet couch, you know what I mean? It's like outside, it's gathering, it's getting our girlies together and really figuring out who is for us. Cause we need to be for each other. You know, this pitting against is like, I'm tired. It's like this exhaustive cycle of always competing. I hate competing. I've never liked it. I'm like, I just, the togetherness is what I crave. And so coming out of this pandemic where everyone has kind of lost sight of how we are so much more alike than we are different. It's really important to take this, these results and just be like, Okay. It was always a possibility. we knew that, right. It was always a possibility. So I grieved and I took my time with it. But really at the end of the day, I celebrated the things that were actually wins for some very specific States. And that's what I took from it. It's that shift away from the me mindset to the togetherness mindset. It's like, we're gonna, we're gonna figure out these feelings together.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Together. Yep.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

showing up. You know, they want us to be sad and depressed and in our beds for days because, you know, they want us to feel beat down. I'm like, I actually don't feel like that. I'm like, you know what?

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

You ain't gonna get that from me.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

and I don't want to let the people that are not for togetherness see that because then you are defeating my power of love. So yeah, just focusing on the good. that's

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yes. Yes, that's what we have to do. So Guided Visualization is a tool that I use. It can be used in so many different ways, but the one way that I use it with my clients is for inner child work. So, a lot of us don't love ourselves and are not very compassionate or kind with ourselves. We criticize ourselves, and we think that that will push us into better levels. And I think it worked in school, and that's why we kept it up. But then we come into adulthood, and it's self defeating. So, before I begin inner child work, I need the client to tap into the child that's within them. Because when you start to see yourself as holding a child, you treat yourself differently, right? You're no longer just this adult who can take all the harsh criticism. You have to be a little softer. So what I do is it's about 15 minutes where I have them drop into their body, eyes closed, laying on the couch, I close my eyes too, and I tell them I'm going to guide you through an exercise, 10 to 15 minutes, at any point if you feel uncomfortable, pop up, say pause, we can stop because sometimes some unwanted memories arise. It's only happened twice in 14, 15 years. And I just walk them through a visualization where they first reimagine themselves as a child, they pick an age, and then I have them really get granular about, like, how is your hair? Did you wear lotion? Like, all the things, right? Like, really take this young you in, make them real again, and then we move that young version of ourselves into a safe space. So we decide, what is the safe space we recall from childhood? More often than not, people choose their grandparents houses. It'll be there. And then I asked him, you know, what's around you, right? Like take it all in, take it all in, take it all in. And then what I do is I have their adult self walk in to the scene and just be with them. They have an exchange, they talk a little bit. They set another date so that they can meet again, maybe not the same age, maybe not the same location. And there's, when they're having their conversational exchange, there's a few prompts that are like, If you could tell them anything, what would you tell them? Do you have any questions for them? Any advice they need to know? So then when we come out of it, everyone's always like, Whoa, that was cool. Like lots of times there's tears. But what we are able to A they tune in and they tap in and they see I'm carrying this compassion, this thing that deserves compassion, this being that deserves compassion and B. Oh, wait, what's the B wait. And Oh, the affirmation. Like the, the information that was exchanged between the two of you, or sometimes there's no information. Sometimes he's like, I just held him. It's like, all right, so you intuitively, we know what we need. It comes out in that interplay. So then we take that and make sure that we are building that into every single day. You need to know every single day that everything's going to be okay. You need to know every single day that it's not your responsibility to take care of both of your parents, whatever it is. Right. So we reprogram the mind. using the inner child exercise by gathering what came up in their conversation. Yeah, it's really powerful and really fun. And I love it. It's my favorite exercise. I feel like when I do it, I'm like, I'm about to change your life.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

It really does sound like that. I'm trying to just listen to you and think through the process without thinking of like answering the questions for myself. Going into it. Yeah, because then I'm actually like, okay, no, well I can't then it would end in tears. Yes. Yeah. Certainly. Yeah. So like, uh, like a inner child visualization. Mm hmm.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yep. I call it the inner child guided visualization.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I've done like IFS work where I have met versions of myself at different ages, so it kind of sounds like a little bit similar.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Very familiar. Yes. Yes. Very similar. I should say. Yes.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Okay. Awesome. We can like, invite. our listeners to do it on their own, or they can reach out if they are in California, because I know you're licensed in California. Mm hmm.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Socorey. com, S O C O R E Y. com, or on Instagram, Heal, H E A L, with Soco, S O C O.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yes, all good options. We are running out, we only have a couple more minutes, but we did want to mention Magnolia West.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Mmm!

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Because

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

That's right, I have another company! Thank you for reminding me!

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

right? I can't show the camera. The glare is so bad. This one's called We Burn Bold Moves here and in the podcast room because that just makes sense. I will have to say, oh, please remind me the name of the purple one.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

highly favored? Or new beginnings?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

New Beginnings. It's the light purple. It's gone. That was mine. And I can't call it a mistake because it wasn't, but I took it up to my room. And so I was just lighting it a lot more frequently than we do in here. And it's like, Oop, feeling like a new beginning right now.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Yay! Yeah! Okay.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

down to the bottom. So I'm like, I got to get more Just really filled my room with this such a a warm and welcoming and like inviting scent I felt so very cozy I lit it a lot on like, certain phases of the moon and just lots of things going on with like the planet So yeah, it felt like very aligned. So we're gonna link all that. Information in our show notes as well

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Thank you.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

And as Dani was saying, the Magnolia West candles are amazing. So you guys definitely need to take advantage of the sale and grab yourself one. I was drawn to bold moves when we went to the event and it just smells like a campfire. It's

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

I love it. I love Bull Moose smell. They're all good. I'm not even gonna say it's my favorite.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

It was very hard to choose. It was a tough time for me. Yeah, I'm like, I'll take all I know. I know. So when I'm done with this one, we're gonna pick a new one. But yeah, thank you so much for your time.

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

Thank you both. It's been fun chatting with you guys. Thank you for the work you're doing and for being just open and interested in healing. Yeah, the more that do this, the better off we will all be, right?

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

thank you. Thank you so much. And thank you for doing what you're doing. We were so drawn to your work and just kind of how You're catering to black and brown people, but you're also bringing this Spirituality side to it and this groundedness that I think that we

squadcaster-c105_1_11-18-2024_130537:

We need, that's our shit. That's what we, that's how we, got through all the hard shit. We're just bringing it back. Yes. Yes.

empaths-anon_1_11-18-2024_130537:

connecting back to the ancestors. Well, thank you so much for your time. Soco. We cannot wait for everybody to hear it.

empaths-anon_2_11-18-2024_141119:

Okay guys as I always say all the time, I literally could have just kept talking and talking to her, but she, being in the work that she is at, has other appointments and stuff, but, What an amazing conversation. I really feel like we really were in flow and we just let the conversation go where it went and sure we have our questions prepared and like the things that we want to talk about, but it really, we really went deep. Oh yeah. This time. Love that. I love to be on this side of it as always. I feel like our solo episodes are now like more few and far between in a way where we have lots of guests lined up cause it's just. What we love to do, right? We just love to talk to people. We love to cultivate these conversations in a deeper manner. But when our guests are interested in us and our personal journeys, that always makes me feel really good and always makes me feel warm and fuzzy and I really appreciate that she asked us about ourselves because not everybody has to do that. Right. But it's always very nice. And the visualization exercise, although we could not practice the exercise, because ethically we need to make sure that everyone listening is in a safe space to be able to do that, you now can decide. If that's something you're wanting to do if you would like to reach out to her and do it with her That's also an option if you're living in, California Everything will be linked below. But yeah, I think My biggest takeaway I think is The deep breath I feel like after the conversation I took a deep breath because It's always go, go, go. And then you have these outside messages, happenings, things in the world that are just absolutely out of your control. But coming back to yourself and deciding what can I do right now? the smallness again, have you called your mom? Right. Have you called a loved one? If it's not your mom, have you called someone you can trust? Have you called someone who you care and love for to help you through these things, to check in on them? Yeah. You know, those are the things that will continue to help us stay strong together as a unit. We're not all these individual people in individual boxes. We're together. We're a mold. Yeah, I find it interesting, no matter When we reach out to somebody and have them on or who they are, like the concept of starting small comes up so many times. So, I mean, you can't ignore it. the universe is screaming in our face at this point. So we start small. I'm like, I need to go. I need to mobilize. I need to do, do, do. And she's like, actually, you need to focus on yourself. I'm like, you are right. You are right. Which just comes back to the entire. Empaths of it all. Yes. You know, we are so trained to, what can we do, what can we do for other people? How do we fix? How do we do this? How do we do that? I'm feeling so deeply I just have to do something. It's like, bring it back to you. Which is really, most often times, the best option. Oh yeah. How can I pour from something that is empty? If I'm Constantly worried and bogged down by the every day, the world events, the problems that we're facing on a daily basis. We. Can't seem to work through it in the current system, like she said. So, yeah, that's the biggest thing for me being back to myself, taking a deep breath and it's like, take a day off, right. You know, just take it off. Yeah. And it's hard to do when you wear so many hats, it's like. Well, which one? All four? Right. You know? Choose, choose one a day. Right. You don't have to wear them all simultaneously. think about it. You can only wear one hat a day. That's what, yeah, that's what we're ending with. Choose your hat, choose yourself, and fill your cup overflow the love. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. That's what I'm taking out of this is that, like Soko said, our communities were created and based around love and togetherness, and that's what we need to return to. Mm hmm. Plain and simple. Doesn't mean it's easy. Yeah. But it is simple to understand. Right. So. I think that is all. Yeah. We will bid you adieu. Leave you to your day. And pray. Ah! Leave it to your day and pray! Put it on a shirt, put it on a shirt. Okay. Okay. Let us pray. Spirit, grant me the serenity to start with myself. The courage to make mistakes. And the wisdom. Do not read an orange Cheeto ass man Mr. Donald J. Trump when he tries the entire nation. The entire nation. And on this point on a global level. Yes. And so it is. Bye feelers. Bye. Mucho, mucho, mucho amor.