Speaker 1: 0:04

Hello and welcome to Inside Marci's Mind. My name is Marci Backus and I am your host. Wow, okay, we are deep in the holiday season at this time. If you are celebrating Christmas, merry Christmas. If you are celebrating Hanukkah, you are into your Hanukkah season. Happy Hanukkah. I believe tonight is the second night of Hanukkah. You are into your Hanukkah season. Happy Hanukkah. I believe tonight is the second night of Hanukkah.

Speaker 1: 0:29

I am recording this on Thursday because yesterday was Christmas, and what a lovely Christmas we had here in Chicago. Weather was good. Craig and I did a lovely walk up Michigan Avenue last night. It was beautiful, it was drizzly but not cold it was 40, so it wasn't cold at all and walked up to the river and then back down home. I love living where you can just get out in it. I was home all day in my Christmas jammies, took a slow day, woke up late just and then decided needed to be in a little bit of Christmas and walked right out the door down Michigan Avenue and bam thrown right into the holiday. So we celebrate Christmas Eve, always has a as a family Craig's family does too. So we had a big family Christmas Eve, which was always, which is always fun, and it was a lot of fun. So on our way home from that, we stopped and enjoyed the lights in one of the city centers. They have a new Lenox, has a commons and it's got really fun lights. That was fun to do.

Speaker 1: 1:43

So now that that's behind us, we have what's in front of us, which is a new year, and we're going to talk today, when we get into it, about setting intentions. I set intentions. I don't do new year's promises or goals or what are they called. I can't even think of the stupid name of them. I'll think of it before that part of the episode starts. But anyway, I set intentions and we're going to talk about how to do that today. So let's get started, talk about my week and then we will move on to setting our intention. Attention, all right, I remembered the word resolution. Okay, so we can put that aside. You're not all yelling at your listening device that it's resolution. So, yeah, I got that.

Speaker 1: 2:36

How was my week? Let's see, my week was not great. I hope yours was a heck of a lot better than mine. I got extremely sick last Thursday night and was extremely sick until Sunday and still feeling a little, but getting there, um, so I was in a trial for some injections. I don't think that was it, I don't know. I was also in the um oncology clinic every single solitary day since I got home, or I was in the hospital, I was somewhere medical since we got home from the vacation and I could have just gotten a really bad stomach bug. So, don't know, stop the trial because don't know what it was and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I only have my cancer. Surgery is on and if you didn't, if you don't know about that, flip back an episode and you'll find out. Is January 8th and I have now just until then, till the six before my pre-op, that I don't have anything medical going on, and I really want to enjoy it. I really want to just savor this and one of the things I'll be doing this time, during this time, is setting my intentions and again, we'll talk about that in a little bit.

Speaker 1: 3:51

What else Got my last one? You know, god bless Amazon. People can say whatever they want. You know, I think people are always just bitter when somebody makes it big. I mean, he started in his garage selling books.

Speaker 1: 4:02

I have been with Amazon Prime since it was $35. I was living in Oregon in our second house. I remember it because I thought this is awesome, I don't have to pay for shipping anymore and I joined at $35. How much was Amazon Prime when you joined? I bet it wasn't $35. But you know, I needed things. I couldn't get out and do things. I had things planned. I couldn't get out and do them. I needed to get some groceries. My Amazon Fresh came. I had things delivered that came at four in the morning the next day. You know I love a mom and pop and I do shop a mom and pop. But let me tell you, you know I love a mom and pop and I do shop a mom and pop. But let me tell you, amazon is my friend and I know y'all bitch, but you're all using them. We, you know. I don't know if you've ever thought about this. So there are.

Speaker 1: 5:01

Let's see, my building is 50, almost 60 stories tall, 40 of those floors, 45 maybe have condos on them, 10 condos. 450 families live here. You think about how many packages our doorman get, and doorman never, you know, maybe get one or two packages a day. So we hire a Santa's helper for our doorman during the holiday season because it's insane how much food gets delivered to our build. And this is all through every big city. Just think about it. Multiply it by thousands and it's insane. But we do have a community tip holiday gift for our doorman and I've contributed to that because they certainly helped me out. They're certainly wonderful people and they make our building what it is, which is warm. You can't get into our building without going through our doorman and then you have to go through a door that they open for you. They give me security, they give me friendship and of course, they get all my packages. So they're pretty wonderful people. One of them's a little bit of a sourpuss, but you know, dealing with people all day is not easy. So that's kind of what's been happening with me this week getting it done Didn't get to see our kids for the holiday.

Speaker 1: 6:25

Each of them were home alone for the holiday. Roommate's gone, girlfriend gone. Alec's girlfriend has been in California. Alex's girlfriend has been in California. Her sister had a baby and Sharon is Korean and in the Korean culture of woman of the family, comes and stays with you for a month and Sharon's sister, I guess, wanted Sharon, not her mom. I can get that.

Speaker 1: 6:50

Moms are kind of something, aren't we? We try hard, we try not to be annoying, but somehow we end up being annoying. I don't know it's generational, it just happens. If you're a mom and when you have adult kids, somehow you're just going to be annoying too. I don't know how that happens, but I got texts and phone calls or not phone calls, texts and photos of what they were up to and that was really nice.

Speaker 1: 7:25

Kyle does not like talking on the phone at all. Alec will talk on the phone. Kyle is strictly texting. But let me tell you, since Kyle has come back into our family and is a part of our family again which is amazing and has made my year cancer be damned've got Kyle back and uh, that's all I ever wanted was to have Kyle back and Kyle's back and Kyle's back big. And Kyle texts me every day, sends me photos, just what's going on with Kyle's day questions. I miss that so much. For a year and a half so well, and actually longer, as long as Marcus has been a part of Kyle's life. Kyle was never the Kyle that Kyle used to be. So I'm still getting used to the he him pronouns, getting better at it. Not great, but trying it's hard when he's not here with me all the time, it'll be easier. But so that's kind of been my week. I'm trying to think if there's anything else.

Speaker 1: 8:23

Cats had a great Christmas there. Aunts and uncles gave them all kinds of toys that they are loving. What did I get? I got some slippies. I love slippers. I got some new, really cozy slippers. I got what I wanted.

Speaker 1: 8:39

I don't know if you were at Costco this holiday season, if you saw it. It's like a foot vibrating machine and you can flip it around and it vibrates your calves. It gets the circulation in your body going and, um, I have some trouble in my feet with my circulation. Getting older is not fun and I really wanted it and Craig got it for me. It's coming I'm so excited about that and while I go through chemotherapy and it's going to come in really handy because it'll help me keep the circulation moving when I can't move as much when I'm not feeling great. So that was my Christmas gift from Craig.

Speaker 1: 9:15

And then I got some perfume and all kinds of other little goodies in my Christmas stocking. I hadn't bought perfume in so long and Lancome Tresor brings back really good memories. It's the perfume I had when we lived in Denmark and I wanted some. A scent is a powerful thing. I don't know if it's ever for you, if it brings back memories, but, man, perfumes bring back more memories to me, almost more than songs do. And um, so I got a bottle of that and that's about it. We've just had a.

Speaker 1: 9:57

You know, finally I came around, oh, we went to. Oh, this was the best part. We go to church at the four o'clock. It's the family service and they do the kids Christmas pageant. It was awesome. And so when Mary came into the scene, she clearly was supposed to have baby Jesus all wrapped up and in a blankie, so you couldn't see him and then reveal him at the time. She had him, but she kept revealing him too soon and it was hysterically funny. And then she'd realize it and then she'd cover him back up, and I don't know. You know, those little things are what make it memorable. I'll remember that Christmas Eve forever because of that little, that little bit. But it's always fun to go. Um, we've always gone to the kids service, always gone to the earliest one, even when the kids were teenagers. I don't know, I like going early. Then we went out to Craig sisters, which is about an hour's drive out.

Speaker 1: 10:47

So again, merry Christmas to you and happy Hanukkah to those that are celebrating the season, and let's talk about setting our intentions. What does it mean? Why do it? Why not do it? Got nothing to lose? Put those old resolutions behind and let's talk about intention, all right. So what is an intention? Let's talk about that.

Speaker 1: 11:23

An intention is a plan or an idea that someone intends to carry out. It's a mental state where a person commits to a course of action. Intentions are different from goals or resolutions. Intentions are about how you want to be in the present moment, while goals are larger things that you want to achieve. However, intentions can help you get closer to your goals. For example, if you intend to live in a way that challenges you, you might set a goal to sign up for a half marathon.

Speaker 1: 11:50

Setting intentions is more than just setting goals. It's about being purposeful and pursuing your desires. The other thing about an intention that I like is because it's an intention, you can't fail at it, and that's why I you know setting goals is great. Go ahead and set some goals. Resolutions are just insane. No one ever keeps them.

Speaker 1: 12:15

An intention is something that you intend on doing. You don't have to do it, but I find, more times than not, my intentions are something I work towards and I don't ever feel like a failure, and goals and resolutions can tend to make one feel like a failure when they're not met. So how do you? Let's just talk about setting a new year's intention. It can be a powerful way to create change in your life. Here are some tips for setting your intention. So I'm going to give you some ideas.

Speaker 1: 12:50

Identify your values. Consider what's most important to you and narrow down your values. Find your why. Ask yourself questions like why is this goal important to you? And narrow down your values. Find your why. Ask yourself questions like why is this goal important to me and what will my life look like if I achieve it? Be specific Instead of vague statements, try to be more concrete.

Speaker 1: 13:13

For example, you could set an intention to take 10 minutes every day for yourself and self-care activities 10 minutes. So when you are setting your intentions, be specific. Don't just say I want to be good, kinder to myself. Break that intention down and again, it's an intention. If you don't do it, you haven't failed. Create a ritual. Establish a routine to check in with your intention. You can reflect on your intention in a specific space play music or light a candle. You can use a mantra. Mantra can be a single word that you use as a focal point of concentration.

Speaker 1: 13:52

Focus on the journey. Intentions allow you to focus on a desired outcome and the journey to get you there. So setting goals can be very motivating and helpful. They can also make you feel bad. So, as much as I've used the word goal here, I really want you to focus on the word intention. Keep it an intention. You want to approach it from a growth mindset.

Speaker 1: 14:28

How are you looking at your life? How do you want to grow? What do you want to grow in next year? Do you want to grow in your faith? Do you want to grow in your faith? Do you want to grow in positive self-talk? Do you want to grow in time with family? Do you want to grow in less screen time? Look at where you want to grow and set your intentions there. We talked about identifying your values. Values can be a great place to start. It can be helpful if you look at a list of values. What are values? Accountability, achievement, freedom, friendship, fun, optimism, order, perseverance, personal fulfillment, power, pride, teamwork, tradition, travel, trust, truth, understanding. There's a lot, so look them up. Give yourself a chance to help identify what needs to change in your life. That's another place to set your intentions.

Speaker 1: 15:37

My intention this year, as I go through cancer, is to continue going to the gym. I love it. I mean, you all know how I feel about my swim group, the pool pals, how I feel about my time in the pool. I'm in the pool five days a week. Well, that's not going to happen during this journey. Number one I have the surgery. Number two I get a port placed in. That's going to be there probably for 12 weeks, but I've decided I'm still going to go to the gym during the time the ladies are in the pool. I'm going to do what I can upstairs on the days that I can do it, and go to coffee with them. Just because I'm not in the pool doesn't mean I can't participate. I want to keep up my habit that I've set and created for myself. It's an amazing habit. It just so happens that it's a habit that deals with water and I won't be able to be in the water for a while.

Speaker 1: 16:33

So think about the things in your life, identify what needs to change and set the attentions. We can craft our intentions by incorporating how we want to grow and ultimately move closer to our values. We can even use our values for our in our attentions, for example, if balance is a value you want to work towards, an intention might look like I want to consider the balance between taking care of myself and others and making decisions this year. And the final step in all of this, as you sit and you look and you set those New Year's intentions, is hold yourself accountable. Think about how you can hold yourself accountable in your intentions. Where can you write them down? Is there someone you can share your intentions with? Do it with a friend. Have your friends send intentions and share them with you. Set your intentions and share them with them and, once a month, check in. Set how you are going to check in with yourself around your attentions. Again, I said do it with a friend, do it with yourself, have one of your. I don't even want to say their names because they'll wake up. You know your devices. Remind you, set some reminders, set it on your calendar, set it verbally, verbally, but make sure you're checking in with yourself, because it doesn't do any good to set the intentions and then check in 12 months later when you're going to set the next set sorry, I need a little cup of coffee there so think about it. Kick your. I still don't even like the word goal. If you have to have a goal, go ahead, but set an intention to it.

Speaker 1: 18:16

Don't do those New Year's resolutions. They're nothing but a setup to fail. And don't set anything too hard for yourself. Set something that's attainable, an intention you feel you can keep up with. And again, it's an intention If you don't do it. You didn't fail anything. You just intended to. It wasn't a do or die. I think that's being kinder to yourself, all right. Well, we are going to learn something. Got a did you know moment coming up? Hang in there, all right. So I figured our did you know moment should be on resolutions.

Speaker 1: 18:55

So, according to insideoutmasterycom, only 9% of the people who make new year's resolutions succeed in keeping them. 9% said an intention. You'll feel much better. Other sources say that 23% of the people quit their resolutions by the end of the first week and 43% quit by the end of January. And it says here the reason people quit them is their unrealistic lack of thought, loss of motivation, lack of time or resources. So my feeling is stick to intentions. If you intend on doing something, it's going to be a lot more kinder to yourself.

Speaker 1: 19:41

So this is the last Inside Marci's Mind for this year. This is actually episode 30 of the new podcast. It's not growing as fast as I would like it to, so if you could tell your friends, you can find it wherever your podcasts are. You can find it on my website, insidemarcy'smindcom. Share it with a friend. I would appreciate it, and I wish you all all the best in 2025.

Speaker 1: 20:16

It's going to be a challenging year for me, but I'm going to be up for it. Your support is always helpful. Having this podcast gives me a place to talk, and I guess I definitely will be sharing about my breast cancer journey. I will try not to drone on and on and on about it, but I will fill you in. I will keep you up to date. I know a lot of family and friends listen to this, so it's a good way for me to get out my information to a large group of people, and I'm hoping to be a motivator for those that are going through the same journey. Those of you that know me know I have a positive mindset, and going into this is no different Doesn't mean it's not scary, and because breast cancer is curable people, it doesn't mean the journey isn't hard. So I want you to keep that in mind. I love you all. I thank you for supporting me in my podcast endeavors, and Happy New Year and go out and do something positive.