Inside Marcy's Mind

Fifteen Rules For Mental Toughness You Can Actually Use

• Marcy • Season 1 • Episode 65

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What if mental toughness isn’t built on grit alone, but on small choices you can actually keep? We take a no-mystique tour through resilience with fifteen simple rules that trade hustle myths for practical habits. From a messy real estate setback to the daily debate between naps and to-do lists, we explore how clarity beats mood, rest fuels longevity, and steady reps create real confidence.

We start by reframing resistance as proof you’re doing the work, not a sign you’re broken. Then we get specific: act on what you know, not how you feel; repeat what works to avoid burnout; and think in years while acting in days so progress moves from theory to calendar. When pressure spikes, we treat emotions as signals, not instructions—useful data, not orders—and we seek discomfort just past the comfort line where growth hides. Along the way, you’ll hear why keeping promises to yourself matters more than motivation, how to detach from applause you can’t control, and how acceptance lets you steer with clearer eyes.

Breath, self-talk, and ego get their turn too. Breathe first, decide second to stop fast mistakes. Change the tone in your head to change the tone of your life. And when being right threatens connection, choose adaptation over ego. We close by celebrating quiet compounding—let them underestimate you—and by returning to the most reliable builder of confidence: finish the reps. Whether it’s sending the email or showing up to lift, brick by brick always beats waiting for a perfect mood. Hit play, grab one rule to test today, and tell us which habit you’re committing to. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find the conversation.

SPEAKER_00:

Hello and welcome to Inside Marcy's Mind. My name is Marcy Backett and I am your host. I'll try some new music. Figuring out if I like it, if I cut it where I needed to cut it or what, but like I said, um my other music is for AGNA for Sissy's and I loved it so much. I started using it in this podcast, and I need to have different music. It's just important. Because I'm having a third podcast, unbottled, all things sobriety coming out in November. We still got a couple more weeks. I'm working on it. So I want to welcome you back to Inside Marcy's Mind, the place where thoughts go to stretch, hydrate, and try to behave themselves. I am your host, Marcy, 64 years young, mentally tough, or at least mentally stubborn, which is basically the same thing. Today we're talking about resilience, that magic quality people think you get through meditation and green juice. When in reality, you get it by surviving a week of family group text, dealing with Comcast, or trying to assemble IKEA furniture without a therapist present. I found this great list online 15 rules mentally tough people live by. And y'all, I felt seen. So today we're walking through these rules: SAS first, truth second, caffeine third. So let's dive in. I, you know, I'm very resilient. I can say that today. Never really thought about it. But each time I've been thrown a curveball in my life, and I've been thrown many, and most of them have been health related. I deal with it and keep moving. I don't let it stop me. And when I saw this list, I thought, wow, these are these these are some good things. So um, we're gonna start. Apparently, mentally tough people expect friction. Well, good, because life is basically a slip and slide covered in Legos. The rule in this article said resistance isn't a red flag, it's the work showing up. So next time something feels hard, don't panic. You're not cursed, you're not feeling, you're just alive. You know, things go wrong all the time. Our real estate deal went wrong. And I don't know about you when you're going to buy something, you start picturing your life in it, you start thinking about it. And actually, the most difficult part was dealing with our real estate agent, and that pushed us forward enough to get out of it. And you know, I've learned a lot. I've learned I love where I live. I don't want to buy another condo unless we sell this condo. I don't want to. Um, and that it's okay that I don't get to see the zoo Christmas lights from my new condo. No, I'm just kidding, but I was kind of excited when they said we can see the zoo lights from our condo. The Christmas lights. But, you know, you learn. Expect friction, rest without guilt. Let me tell you, resting with guilt is basically a woman's Olympic sport. The rule says, in the article I read, recovery keeps you in the game longer than intensity ever will. Recovery is important. Um, the person I know that doesn't recover from anything is Craig. He just keeps trucking, he just keeps moving. I guess it works for him. It doesn't work for me. During the day, I need a nap, I need some do nothing time, and I can't have one more than one thing on the calendar. This morning I had an eight o'clock doctor's appointment. I came home, walked right down to the pharmacy to get my prescription filled, came home, and that is it. I'm begrudgingly doing these two podcasts because I didn't get them done last week. And I love you guys, and I love doing my podcast, but I've already done something important today. Rest isn't quitting, it's a strategic survival tactic. So those naps in the afternoon are a survival tactic, and it's strategic. Say that three times, twice. Number three, clarity over confidence. Act on what you know, not how you feel. Let me say that again. Act on what you know, not how you feel. Feelings say buy the shoes. Clarity says, ma'am, the credit card is already crying. Clarity wins. I'm good at that sometimes, and I'm not good at it sometimes. It's definitely a place for me to work. But remember, act on what you know to be true. Not what could be, shoulda, woulda, shoulda, coulda, but what you know to be true. And God, don't act on your feelings. They betray us all the time. They betray us more than the mirror. Repeat what works. The rule says boredom is better, teacher, than burnout. Look, not everything needs to be a spiritual awakening, people. If something works, do it again. This is why most of the time I order the same Hello Fresh Meals. I'll throw a new one in every once in a while, but if it works, we do a lot of bowls. I like their bowls. Craig sits in the same pew at church. I don't have to. It's fine. I happen to be the kind of person that likes change, but not just for the sake of change. I will continue to do things over and over that work. And I like my sanity. Play the long game daily. The article says, think in years, act in days. Let me say that again slowly. Think in years, but act in days. Great. Meanwhile, half of us can't remember what day it is, but the idea is solid. Small steps beat big dreams that never leave the driveway. So, in other words, think big but act small. Okay? Think big, but act small so you can get the steps done. Stay useful under pressure. The article says emotions are signals, not instructions. Woo! That hit me hard. Emotions are signals, they're not instructions. Well, some of us, me, get very enthusiastic at signals. Eat snacks, cry a little. Online shop, fight the printer. Tell everyone at church you're fine when you're clearly not. But under pressure, being useful works better than being dramatic. Most of the time. Personally, I think a sprinkle of drama keeps you young. But not too much, people. Not too much. Life brings its own drama. Just look at our president. Oh my god. Have you seen the White House lately? Looks like somebody threw up gold all over it. It's disgusting. Alright, I digress. Seek discomfort. The article says growth hides where comfort ends. Listen, nobody wants discomfort. Nobody. But if discomfort was a person, it would be that neighbor who always catches you taking the trash out in your pajamas. But discomfort for focuses, forces growth. Every big moment in life started with, uh, I really don't want to do this. Some of my best friends were made when I was invited to something and I thought, I don't really want to go. I don't really want to do this. And I've made some great friends because I went and I was uncomfortable. Keep promises to yourself. This one is tough. We make promises to everyone else, but ditch our own commitments faster than a diet on Thanksgiving. Your words matter even to you. At least twice a week. Those are baby steps. I'm not asking for perfection. I am not. I'm telling you that baby steps, big things come from. Detach from outcomes. Your control effort, not applause. Not everyone will clap, not everyone will even notice. Sometimes you'll do your best and people will still ask. Are you sure that's how you spell stewardship? Detach, do your own thing, live your life. I listen to people, I don't live by what people tell me. Except reality. You can't steer what you refuse to see. This is the universe saying, stop ignoring the obvious darling. If someone shows you who they are, believe them. And I know that's a big saying, but it's the truth. If someone shows you who they are, believe them, good or bad. Find calm and chaos, breathe first, decide second. You know what I love? I love that because most of us decide first, breathe never. Breathing works, science says so. I've done podcasts with a gal that does breathing things, and it does work. And when I can remember to do it and remember how to do it, you know, breathe short, breathe long, long for long. You know, if you just breathe, it's gonna be better than nothing. So breathe. Find calm in chaos. Talk to yourself, not at yourself. The tone in your head becomes the tone in your life. Oh my god, is that not the truth? I have such a bitchy tone in my head sometimes, and I'm so bitchy. Not to my friends, but like to people driving and thinking. I don't know. I believe that. The tone in your head becomes the tone in your life. So if your inner voice sounds like a sassy judgmental ant, time to soften her up. Ooh, that's a kick in the pants. We're going for encouraging kindergarten teacher vibes here, not courtroom prosecutor. Okay, okay, I hear it. I hope you hear it too. Oh, this one is really hard. I've gotten better as I've gotten older. The need to be right. You know, adaption beats ego every time. And sometimes the most mentally tough thing you can say is, you know what? I might be wrong. I've gotten a lot better that as I've gotten older. Craig may argue that, but I I see it. I work really hard at that. I used to really have to be right. And now my memory sucks. Things suck. I I can't be right. I I will always. If you tell me, uh no, it's on Friday, I'll have to say, well, it could be. Even when you know you're right, but you don't want to ruin Christmas dinner, sometimes it's okay to be wrong. Go ahead and let others underestimate you. Silence compounds faster than validation. Let people underestimate you. It's like having a superpower you can't advertise. There is nothing more satisfying than surprising people who didn't see you coming. Let them underestimate you. Let them think you're a dumb blonde. Let them think you can't get yourself out of a paper bag. And then when you do and you tell them how to make the paper bag, they'll know what's right. Finish the reps. Follow through is where confidence is built. Finish the thing, do the reps, send the mail, email, show up, especially on days you don't feel like it. Confidence doesn't magically appear. You build it brick by brick or rep by rep. You know, my niece Angie is a phenomenal. I don't know, Angie, I don't know what to say. You're not a bodybuilder, but damn girl, you are great at exercising, lifting weights, doing your reps, sticking to your program. Admirably so. Admirably so. And brick by brick, Angie built herself a phenomenal workout regime and program. And a great body, by the way, Angie. You don't do it overnight. You build it brick by brick, people, or rep by rep. No matter what it is. Well, my friends, another not super long episode, but I thought pretty important information and things to give you a little thought. So let's go through them again, real quick. Just the the one-liners here. I won't give you the whole emotions. Oops, sorry. Got mine all mixed up. All right. Resistance isn't a red flag, it's the work showing up. All right. Recovery keeps you in the game longer than intensity ever will. Act on what you know, not how you feel. Boredom is better, teacher, than burnout. Sorry if you hear my papers. Think in years, act in days. Emotions are signals, not instructions. Growth hides where comfort ends. Again, here's the tough one. We keep your word matters, even if it's to yourself. You control effort, not applause. You can't steer what you refuse to see. Breathe first, decide second. The tone in your head becomes the tone of your life. And adaptation beats ego every time. Silence compounds faster than validation. And the final, finish the reps. Follow through is where confidence is built. And that, my friends, is your official guide to becoming mentally tough. Or at least tougher than you were 30 minutes ago. Resilience isn't perfection. It's showing up, messing up, resting up, and trying again. Let's see. Thanking you for hanging out inside Marcy's mind. Where the thoughts are sassy, the insights are real, and we always finish the reps eventually. See you next time. And remember to go out and do something positive and keep an eye out for my new podcast, Unbottled.

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Marcy Backhus

Host