Inside Marcy's Mind

Dear January, Stop Yelling At Us

• Marcy • Season 1 • Episode 70

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The loudest voice in January insists we start over, buy more, and hustle harder. We’re not doing that. We’re choosing intentions—gentle, flexible guardrails that help us evolve without the shame spiral that usually follows broken resolutions. If you’re tired of feeling like a failure by the second week of the year, this conversation will feel like a deep breath.

We unpack why resolutions fall apart so quickly: they start from a story that you’re broken and need fixing. Then we offer a kinder framework that begins with reflection. What drained you last year? What surprised you? Where did you grow without noticing? From that ground, we set one to three intentions that focus on how we want to feel and how we want to show up. You’ll hear five practical intentions you can borrow—listening to your body, protecting your energy, staying curious, nurturing relationships, and enjoying life now—and how to translate them into choices you can sustain.

Throughout the episode, we weave in real-life context: a noisy city day after the holidays, travel plans for a milestone birthday, navigating a medical year with more self-advocacy, and practical boundaries for work and the phone. We show how to use intentions as a daily compass by asking, “Does this support my intention?” and how to check in monthly, adjust without guilt, and celebrate progress—especially on the messy days when getting through is the win. It’s an honest, encouraging reset for anyone craving growth without the grind.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who hates resolution season, and leave a review so more people can find it. And don’t miss our new sobriety-focused show, Unbottled, dropping three launch episodes on January 1—tune in and tell us your first intention of the year.

SPEAKER_00:

Hello, and welcome to Inside Mark's Mind. My name is Marcy Backins, and I am your host. Music's seeming a little aggressive today, I think. I don't know if I like that. I still haven't found the right music for this podcast. Anyways, welcome back to Inside Marcy's Mind. This is a place where we tell the truth, laugh a little, and admit we don't have it all figured out, especially in January. It's a new year, which means the internet is yelling at us to become a brand new human overnight. Every commercial, everything, internet, TV, new year, new you. You need to lose weight, you need to better smile, you need, God knows it's going to tell us everything. We, and I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in starting over. Good God, it's taking me well in January 65 years to get here. I don't really want to start this over. I've been working too hard to become who I am through these last 65 years. So today we're talking about intentions, not resolutions, because resolutiment and intentions feel like a direction. So, with that being said, um, today is the December 26th, the day after Christmas. I just ran out and did some errands, and the city is buzzing and busy. Yesterday it was quite nice and quiet. I do enjoy a holiday in the city because the city is, it's like the city exhales. And right now she her heart is beating fast, people are moving. There's a line down at Starbucks, the world's largest Starbucks. There's a nice line around the building. I do have that view from here. So, um, but nonetheless, it's been a great holiday season. I have just had, you know, I we never know how many holiday seasons we have left, but the older we get, the less we know we have. So this year I tried to make the best of it. I did lunches, brunches, concerts, you name it, I did it. And I don't regret it, but it was a very busy December. I am looking forward to a next couple of weeks being quiet. And then I hop in my car and I start that road trip to the West Coast with my first stop in Vegas with my friends and my sister, celebrating my 65th birthday, moving on from there. And then there will be a cruise thrown in and a week in Arizona and this, that, and the other thing. Getting to see my other kid. Hopefully, see my other kid on the way home. So I don't know. I've got a lot to look forward to. I am looking forward to a little less medically based year this coming year. That is my intention. And talking about intentions, we're going to talk about intentions today versus resolutions. And every year around this time, I do a podcast on intentions because resolutions are just a big fat setup, and I don't like them. I have never liked them. Uh, they make you feel bad. You become a failure in the first month of the year, and that is no fun for anyone. Um I think they say resolutions last less than a week. Most people have broken them. And we don't want to be those people. So we're gonna set intentions this year. What else is going on? Weather here, warm, warm, warm. But by Monday, it's supposed to be cold, cold, cold again. So it's been a little bit of an up and down, but I had my light coat on, walking and doing my errands, and that's kind of nice on December 26th. Um, next week, going into the new year, we'll be a little colder. And then, if you know anything, January and February is the yuckiest month of the year here in Chicago, and that's why I will be gone most of the month of February. Um, anything else that I can think of to share with you guys? No, I yeah, I one thing, I'm very excited about this. Um, since I'm starting another podcast called Unbottled, and let me just tell you before you judge it, it is a podcast about all things sobriety, but let me tell you something. The things we learn in sobriety are things that everybody can use. And if you have a little bit of a Diet Coke addiction or maybe chocolate candy or shopping, you know, an addiction's an addiction, people. And uh you might just tune in and find something useful for your life in that one. On New Year's Day, three episodes will drop of Unbottled to hopefully get you hooked so you can keep listening to it. And with that being said, let's hang in there, and I'll be right back with that episode. Okay, here it comes. GLP wands, Weight Watchers, um, save your money, spend your money, you name it. It's all out there telling us how we are broken and how we can fix ourselves with wider teeth, new teeth, implants, unplants, botox. Um it's just it's gonna be nonstop for an entire month of January. What are your resolutions? Make your resolutions, blah, blah, blah. But resolutions don't work, and I'm gonna tell you why. They are usually based on what we think is wrong with us. So we're starting from a place of negativity right there, starting with something that is wrong with us. When we mess up, we feel like failures by January 12th. You feel like a failure. Resolutions are set up for failure. They really are. They start from a negative place, they start where you think you're broken, they start in all of the swamp of negativity. I don't want you to do that. Resolutions assume you're broken. Intentions assume you're evolving. Don't you want to evolve as a human? Do you want to be stuck in that same old trap? I'm too heavy, I'm not heavy enough, I don't have enough muscles, I'm too flabby, I've got wrinkles, I've got my teeth, aren't wide enough, my teeth aren't straight enough. Um I'm not strong enough. I don't have enough money in the bank. I need a new car, I need a new home, I need a new bed, I need a new couch. We're like all this stuff. We need, need, need. I want to evolve. I am excellent the way I am. I'm a good mom, I'm a good wife, I'm a good friend. Not always great to myself. So that's where I'm evolving. Working better at being kind to myself. And with that, I am planning to set intentions again this year. Now, intentions are amazing. Intentions respect your body, your mind, and your season of life. An intention is how you want to show up in your life. Intentions don't scream at you when you mess up, they invite you back. They let me say that again. Intentions, when you mess up, do not scream at you. They invite you back to reevaluate, to look, and to see if the intention is correct or if it needs to be adjusted. If you set an intention that you want to go to the gym, I have an intention to go five times a week. I always make four. Five usually is because of an appointment. So this year I'm going to adjust it to four. If I make it to five, that's great. But when I go to those appointments, sometimes I find myself feeling bad. I don't want to feel bad. So now it's an intention. And attention is there to look at, and they assume that you're evolving. All right. So we've talked about attentions, what they are, how they're different from a resolution. I think you've kind of got that. How to set an intention? So let's start with that. How to set an intention? Step one, look back. All right, what are we looking back at? We're looking back at this last year. What drained me last year? Was it all your commitments? Was it your family? Was it your husband? What surprised you about last year? Where did I grow without even realizing it? So that's step one. So step one for me. What drained me last year? My husband. He God love him, he is a drain. And he knows Friday's our podcast day, cleaning the house day and everything. He comes in, slams the door. I'm in the middle of this podcast, makes all this noise, comes in, sets his stuff down, and doesn't even know I'm here. And I'm like, hey, Craig, uh-oh. And I said, Did you even realize I was here? Well, I'm here for my lunch. He cannot, he cannot see outside of his own focus. And he's never gonna change, and it is the way he is. So I just decided, fine, I had errands to do. I stopped the podcast, let him do his thing. I went out and got myself some lunch at McDonald's because I love Free Fry Friday. Walked down to the bank, went and returned some things at Amazon Return and the Whole Foods and came home. He had just finished up, was getting ready to leave, and then I did my podcast. So my intention this year is to try to see to work around Craig. He's never gonna change. He's very stubborn, he is what he is. He says he tries to change, but I'm not so sure. So I have to learn to work within that. Otherwise, the next third of my life is not gonna be very fun. So that's what drained me. What surprised me? Well, what surprised me was cancer, and there's nothing I can do about that. So for me, there isn't any surprises. I I'm doing my best to stay healthy, working out, eating better. Well, McDonald's, like whatever. I'm doing my best. Where did I grow without realizing it? I grew in my ability to really stand up for myself in the healthcare system. I had a lot of opportunities to do it, and I've done it. And I really, really worked hard at that. So for me, that's where I grew. Step two, choose one or three intentions. So I'm gonna give you a list of five intentions that might be something you're interested in. Number one, I intend to listen to my body, reset when needed, move in ways that feel good. You know that I go to the gym and I do water aerobics because it feels good. What I have learned is that I still need to build some muscle and I'm gonna have to go back to the weight machines and I have to figure out how that's gonna work. It's not gonna be my intention because, well, maybe it should be. Okay, it'll be an intention. All right, number two, intend to protect my energy. Fewer draining commitments, stronger boundaries. Remember what we learned a few weeks ago. No is a complete sentence. No is a complete sentence. So protect your energy in whatever way that looks like for you. Not working overtime, not answering your phone when you're away from work, not looking at your work emails. For those of you that are out there working, I am gonna tell you, your jobs are sucking the life out of you. And when I was younger and worked, nobody got a hold of you on the weekends. You didn't have a phone with you 24-7. Put boundaries on that phone. I'm gonna say that again. Put boundaries on your phone. All right, so protecting your energy. I all right, and the next one, number three, is I intend to stay curious. Learn, explore, and say why not. All right, for me, Spanish has been something that I've been trying to learn for a few years now. Something always gets in the way. My intention this year is to learn Spanish. Again, it's an intention, so I'll see how I do. I'll let you know. Um, what more do we have? Oh, you might want to nurture your relationships. If you have some relationships that are um quality over quantity, honest conversations. If relationship is an issue that you think you might want to send some intentions, there you go. And the fifth one, I intend to enjoy my life now, not someday now. That I will tell you, if you want to scent your first intention, that is the best one. I intend to enjoy my life now. That is ageless, that is, that has very little out there that you need to qualify for, and you can set that intention and see if you are enjoying your life. Take away those life suckers. All right. Those are some things that you can do. Let intentions guide your decisions. Does this support my intention? So after you set your intention and you start living your life, if something comes up and you remember your intention and you're trying to decide on something, ask yourself that question. Does this support my intention? Is this aligned with how I want to feel? Because you really are in control of how you feel. Yes, things can happen, but again, it's how you react to it. It's how, oh Craig always says that nobody can make you feel a certain way. I disagree with that. But to the extent that you feel away, I think we have control. So as your year goes on, I want you to think about that. Let your intentions guide you. Oh, and for gosh sakes, please let go of the pressure. These are not resolutions, these are intentions. There's nothing resolute about this. You can reset on a Tuesday, you can change your mind in March. Some days your intentions are is just to get through the day. And that ain't amen to that. So just remember that. Check in monthly, adjust without guilt, and celebrate your progress. This new year, new year's year stuff, new year, new you stuff is for the birds. Our intention should just be to be better human beings and treat ourselves kindly, and then fit your intentions into that. What is gonna serve you? This is all about you. This isn't about your kids, this isn't about your best friend, this isn't about your husband, this isn't about your family. This is about you and your intention to have a good and wonderful life. Live to the fullest, live to the best. And some days living to the best means just getting through it. So don't be so hard on yourself. Some days the smallest victory is all we can do. Some days there are no victories, and that's okay too. So jump on the intention bandwagon with me. And get ready on January 1st to hear the first three episodes of Unbottled. You can also listen to my other podcast, Aging Ape for Sissies. I talk about intentions, but there's a little bit of different information on both of them. I try not to have the same subject, but with the new year, new you crud running around. I thought both of you needed both audiences needed that. So if you listen to both, I think you'll hear a little something different. Again, new podcast, um, new website coming, Marcy Bacchus Media. Everything will be available there. Uh what else? I think that's it. You know, I want to wish my audience, all of you, I am so grateful for you. Thank you for your continued listenership, for sharing my podcast, for growing my audience. We're getting there, people. We're climbing up that hill and we're getting there with my third podcast. Hopefully, I can finally get to a point where I can make some money with this. But, you know, the reason I do this isn't for that. I do this for me. I really do. This is a big part of the goodness in my life. I love our subjects, I love my audience, I love the feedback I get. I do get emails from you telling me how much you enjoy this. And uh pretty soon there will be a new uh Marcybacchusmedia at gmail.com. Marcybacchusmedia at gmail.com. All right, well, wishing you the best new year. May you your intentions be light. May your health be good. And may you be happy.

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Marcy Backhus

Host