A Solo Road Trip Toward Clarity And Courage

A fresh year deserves more than another slogan. We’re kicking off with new music, a hard-won cancer-free milestone, and a plan that puts clarity in the driver’s seat: a solo road trip designed for thinking time, wide horizons, and the kind of quiet that lets your own voice come through. No reinvention theater, no 10-step blueprints. Just the courage to set a route that matches your energy and the discipline to listen when the road starts telling the truth.

Across the miles, I get honest about why I’m going alone, why I’m going now, and why aging isn’t a cue to shrink. We talk about routines that help until they hem you in, the seductive illusion of control, and how adaptability becomes our most underrated skill as the birthdays stack up. I share the practicals too: daylight driving, AAA at the ready, pacing days for long early stretches and slower landings, and yes, the joy of a pit stop in Uranus for fudge and clean bathrooms. Along the way we unpack how driving loosens the mind, why uninvited ideas show up around hour three, and what it takes to sit with yourself without apologizing for it.

This is the start of a series about aging without shrinking, choosing expansion at any age, and granting yourself permission to want more. If you’ve ever felt the pressure to be smaller, more predictable, or more careful than your spirit can stand, consider this your nudge. I’m turning 65, celebrating 38 years sober, and building days that fit the life I actually want. Come ride along, reflect, and ask yourself what your road could give you if you stopped asking permission.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a brave nudge, and leave a review so more listeners can find these conversations. Want more on sobriety and sustainable change? Search Unbottled by Marcy Backis wherever you get podcasts.

Transcript

Cancer-Free Milestone And Medicare Relief

Intentions Over Reinvention

Announcing Life On The Road

Why Go Solo And Why Now

Safety Plans And Past Drives

Refusing To Shrink With Age

Food Freedom And Setting Your Own Pace

Designing The Route For Headspace

The Road As A Truth Teller

Routines, Control, And Adaptability

Aging As Permission To Expand

Series Vision And Themes

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Well, hello friends. My name is Marcy Backett. This is Inside Marcy's Mind. We've got a great episode for you today. Well, how do you like that zippy music? I as most of you know, I've started a new podcast called Unbottled. I had to pick music for that. I had never settled on music for this one. I was using music from another blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, that's my new music. Hope you like it because I do. It's happy, it's zippy, it's let's get going, let's change some things, let's make some things fun. It had a really good feeling. So that's our new music for Inside Marcy's Mind. And I'm really glad you're here today because this episode feels a little different. It's personal, it's reflective, and honestly, it's the beginning of something. I'm recording this on January 2nd, a brand new year 2026. And for me, Amen, hallelujah, ended the year as cancer free as I can be. Last year I started the year with cancer surgery on January 8th. So so far we're already doing better this year. I'm on Medicare. Whoop, whoop, that started yesterday. That saves me$1,500 a month and insurance premium. So now I can use that for fun. Anyway, or save it. What? Anyway, um, let's talk about what we're going to talk about. Uh this is that weird time in between where the Christmas decorations are still up, the cookies are still around, but everyone is suddenly talking about new year, new you. And as we know, I that's not my thing. We talked about setting intentions. I'm not interested in becoming a new person. I'm interested in becoming a truer one. Truer to myself. So this episode kicks off a little series I'm calling Life on the Road. And why is that? Because in just a few days, I'm packing up my car and heading out for a long solo road trip. Vegas, deserts, long stretches of highway, hotel rooms, Diet Coke, cinnamon bears, playlists, podcasts, and a whole lot of thinking. And before you ask, no, I'm not running away from my life. I actually really like my life. I'm running toward clarity. So on this trip, this trip that I'm going on, it's all about Marcy. I don't have to think about Craig, the kids, or anyone else. I can stop when I want to stop. I can get another Diet Coke. I can eat as many cinnamon bears as I want. I can get up later at the hotel and start my road trip out. I I I have total control. And I'm going to use that to my benefit. I definitely am. Listen to some books, podcasts, get some clarity in my life. I'm turning 65 on January 18th. January 11th, I will have 38 years of sobriety. I feel like it's a pivotal time in my life to really take it all in. So, why take a long road trip at this stage of life? Why go alone? Why not wait until spring? Why not fly? And here's the thing. Most of those questions come up from a place we don't talk about enough. They come from the idea that once you reach a certain age in your life, your life should get smaller, more predictable, more careful, more contained. Now, the funny thing is the people that really know me have not asked me any of those questions because they know me well enough to know I decided to do a road trip and I'm gonna do it. Now, when I drove out here to Chicago with my cats, all by myself, I did it once. Now, the next time I drove towards the West Coast, I did it with my sister-in-law. She went as far as Phoenix, and then I went on to California, finished my trip, and I drove all the way home again from Phoenix by myself. So this will be the third time I'm going the same road. I know where I'm going. Um I'm not going to be traveling at night. So if anything happens, I've got AAA, I've got a credit card, I'm good to go. I don't do stupid things, I don't go into scary bathrooms, I don't, I walk slowly to and from my car as to not trip and fall. I, you know, I I take some things, but you know, I don't know. Here's the thing. Most of those, like I said, most of those questions come from a good place. But I don't want to get smaller. I don't want to be more predictable. I don't want to be more careful, and I don't want to be more contained. More careful, yeah. You know, I'm turning 65. I'm healthy, I'm curious, I'm clear-headed, and I have all the time and the desire to go see what it feels like to be alone with my thoughts again. Not lonely, not disconnected, just uninterrupted. I live in a very busy city. I live right downtown in Chicago. There's a lot going on all the time, which is great. I love it here. But some road time, some time to myself, getting into a hotel room, thinking of no one but myself, eating whatever I want, or don't eat at all, whatever I feel like. I don't have to have a meal just because it's a certain time. Now we know who needs to do that. So when you travel with Craig, it's three meals a day. I don't eat three meals a day. Even when I'm home, I eat two. A small one and a main meal. And when I travel with Craig, there has to be three. Craig is a great road tripper, don't get me wrong. I really do enjoy road tripping with Craig. But this is all about me. This road trip isn't efficient. It is the way I want to do it. My first two days I have long drives, and the last three days I will be doing shorter drives. I figure at the beginning I've got more energy. I want wide road trips and quiet mornings. I want space to think about without someone needing something from me every five minutes. I want to remember that my own inner voice sounds like when it's not drowned out by noise. And honestly, I want to prove to myself again that I can still choose adventure without asking permission. Now, I didn't ask her permission for this. I told him what I was doing. Now it's funny. Yesterday I asked him, you know, are you worried about me? He goes, Well, I would prefer it if he flew, but it just doesn't make sense to fly on this trip. Rent a car for it's it just none of it makes sense. Too much. I'm gonna enjoy the ride. Do some figuring out on my own. What does the road give you? Have any of you done a road trip by yourself? I've done so many road trips I can't tell you. With my kids, obviously I've done a couple long ones now without anyone. But the kids and I, we went everywhere. And Craig and I too. For me, I love to drive. There is something about driving, especially long distance, that loosens things inside your brain. You start the day thinking about directions and gas stations and coffee, and then somewhere around hour three, your mind opens up. Old memories float in, new ideas show up about un show up uninvited, excuse me. You start having conversations with yourself you didn't know you needed. And for me, on the first day, I'll end up in Uranus. Yes, I said that right, Uranus. They have the best fudge in Uranus. And yes, it's full of all kinds of potty, trashy joke humor, but it's a fun place to stop. Clean bathrooms, it's safe, and I will stop there. The road does have a funny way of telling the truth. It reminds us how little control we actually have, traffic weather detours, and how much control you think you need to feel safe. Think about that. It reminds you how little control you actually have over your life. We have no control while we're driving over traffic weather detours, and how much control you think you need to feel safe. As we age, control becomes seductive. We cling to routines. Oh my gosh, even me. I Craig is the most routine-driven person and always has been. It's not something I've ever really enjoyed about him, but I find myself clinging to my routines, plans, and certainty. December was a month of uncertain things. I planned things I hadn't done before. I was doing things and in control over groups of people that I hadn't been before. It was scary. I felt so good when it was done, though, and I did it. You know, some routines and things like that are healthy, but some of it is slowly shrinking us. You know, they make that joke. I don't know if you're watching the new Matlock. It is so good. But she talks about in the first episode of being a woman of a certain age becomes invisible. Grace and Frankie touch on that subject too. And that is true. We shrink ourselves. And that's because we shrink ourselves and we become small. I don't know. I don't want to be small. I don't want to shrink myself. On the road, you don't get certainty, you get adaptability. See how good I am at being adaptable. And that's something I want more of, not less, as I get older. I want to be adaptable. I don't want to be a pain in the ass old person that can't do something because it's new, it's different. I wanted to be the woman who can handle a wrong turn without panicking, which I am, and I want to continue. I want to be able to sit alone in a restaurant without apologizing for it. Who doesn't need everything mapped out to feel okay? That's who I want to be. This trip is practice. Aging is not a cue to stop expanding. We don't say this out loud enough, so I'm going to say it here. Aging is not a cue to pull back from your life. It is not a signal to stop wanting new experiences. It's not a warning to stay home and behave. And at any age, all of this can start happening. So if you're a younger listener to Inside Marcy's mind, this can all start happening to you in your 30s, especially for women. So just as you start getting older, if anything, don't just it's not a signal to stop wanting new experiences. It's not a warning to stay home and behave. If anything, aging gives you permission if you're brave enough to take it. This starts in your 40s, 50s. If you've lived long enough to know what doesn't work, you've earned the right to trust yourself. And you finally are old enough to stop worrying about how how much about what things look like from the outside. That's a tough place to come from. I'm not trying to reclaim my youth for God's sakes. I'm not chasing something behind me. I'm stepping into something ahead of me with more confidence, more self-knowledge, and far fewer apologies. And I want that for you too. So this is going to be a bit of a series as I go through this trip. It's not a travel podcast, although I will give you an update each week of what I've done and where I've gone. It's not a self-help lecture, and it's definitely not. Here's how to reinvent your life in 10 easy steps. This is going to be a real conversation about aging without shrinking. And if aging isn't your, you're not into that solitude and independence. I know when you're young, solitude is hard. Letting go of control, friendship, change, and reinvention. And that is okay at any age. And what happens when you actually listen to yourself? I don't care how old you are. We need to learn to listen. Some weeks I'll be recording from a hotel room, some weeks maybe from my car. Some weeks I'll probably surprise myself. You never know, I might have some surprise guests on this. And if you're not on a road trip right now, that's okay because life brings you its own versions of detours and long stretches of quiet, whether we ask for them or not. Oh my goodness. I've got one more week before I leave. I've got a lot to do. There's packing. I'm taking down Christmas. How about you? Are you taking down Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever holiday you celebrated? Maybe you just decorate for the winter and those things need to come down. I need to get that done. I need to get it out to my storage unit tomorrow. And my storage unit, I need to pick up some things for my road trip. My my cure, my individual Keurig maker, and my larger suitcase. I have to remember those things while I'm doing all that. Gonna look at some clothes out there too for my cruise. What a trip. Six weeks. Lots of planning is going into this, lots of things. I've already ordered my birthday cake. That was the most important part. But packing for six weeks is not easy. Especially when you are doing all kinds of things like a week cruise. How fun is that gonna be with my bestie? Yep, yep. One week to Mexico. You know, I just, it's gonna be a great trip. And I'm looking forward to flourishing and growing and the things that are gonna come to it from me. This is all about me. I'm turning 65. That's a big deal. Especially for someone that has a disease that I should have died at 50. So I feel like I'm living on borrowed time. But I'm living my best life. I'm doing my best. Doesn't mean I'm happy all the time, but I certainly know how to turn things around and get it back together. I'm doing that now. And if there's one thing I hope you take from this today, it is you're allowed to choose expansion at any age. You're allowed to want space, you're allowed to want adventure, and you're allowed to do things simply because they make you feel more alive. A few years ago, I decided that I wasn't gonna do, I wasn't gonna back away from things that scare me anymore. And I've kept that up. I've had things that come to me that I'm scared to death, and I do them anyways. I walk through doors I didn't think I'd walk through. I walked on an expansion bridge that I didn't think I would ever walk over. I've done some things that way, and I've done some things in life. Next week we're going to stop about aging without permission. Who we're still asking and why it's time to stop. Why are we still asking for permission? I don't know. But some of us are. Sometimes it's just ourselves. Until then, take a breath, loosen your grip just a little, and remember your life doesn't need to get smaller to be safe. I'm Marcy Backis, and this is inside Marcy's mind. Thanks for riding along. And I just want to give you a quick little commercial about my new podcast, Unbottled. All things sobriety. But you know what? Alcohol isn't the only thing some people need to abstain from. It could be shopping, it could be scrolling, it could be a lot of things. And I think Unbottled will help you with any of those types of things. I'm now under the label Marcy Bacchus Media. So you can find all of my podcasts on a website, Marcybacchusmedia.com, or of course, where you find all of your podcasts. Just put in my name and I have three podcasts that should pop up. And if you want to talk to me directly, just email me at Marcybackis or Marcy Backis. Marcybackismedia at gmail.com.