Dear Younger Me: Detours, Joy, And Letting Go

The highway may be faster, but the scenic back road is where we grow. On this on-the-road reflection, I read a tender letter to my younger self and open a door for you to write yours. We explore the myth of being “behind,” why starting over is not failure, and how every detour ends up connecting in hindsight. I share real pivots—from cross-country moves to career shifts—and the unexpected steadiness that showed up when plans unraveled.

We also unpack the exhausting pursuit of likability. If you’ve ever sanded down your edges to keep the peace, this is a gentle intervention. I talk about overexplaining as a survival habit, the relief of setting boundaries, and the paradox that respect often follows authenticity. Not every comment earns a response, and silence can be a complete answer. Your energy deserves better investments than arguments that go nowhere.

Another key thread: learning the difference between fear and intuition. Fear is loud and future-focused; intuition is quiet and present. That simple distinction can save you time, money, and heartache. And because life isn’t a never-ending performance review, we make space for joy that doesn’t need to be earned—resting without guilt, laughing on a Tuesday, and liking your own company. I close with a promise I wish I had heard sooner: you’re going to be okay, not because life stays easy, but because you’re more resilient than you know.

If this resonates, share it with a friend, write a note to your younger self, and tell me what line you’re keeping. Subscribe, leave a review, and email me at Marcybacchusmedia@gmail.com—let’s keep growing together.

Transcript

Cruise Joy And Health Update

Letter To Younger Self Begins

Detours That Shape A Life

Stop Performing For Approval

Fear Versus Intuition

Choose Joy And Save Your Energy

You’re Going To Be Okay

Gratitude, Next Steps, And Resources

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hello and welcome to Inside Marcy's Mind. My name is Marcy Backis, and I am your host. And I am still on the road. I am still on the road. So I want to welcome you back. This is my last episode on the road for this stretch of the trip, which feels a little poetic. There's something about driving, traveling, moving through different places that makes you reflective. You look out the window and think, wow, I've lived some life. So today's episode is exactly that. What I'd tell my younger self, but nicely. Not the dramatic, don't do this, avoid that. More like big sister energy, kind, honest with a little wink. So if you're younger than me, borrow what you want. If you're not, you can still talk kindly to your past self, too. I, since I talked to you last, I went on a cruise, had a great time, had a wonderful time. Super easy peasy, lemon squeezy, living life large and easy. And me and my bestie just are always on the same wavelength, pretty much. It makes it really nice. It was an easy trip. We enjoyed ourselves, we got dressed up, we got undressed promptly. Um, we'd get dressed nice to go to dinner, and then both of us like, okay, let's go to bed. We spawned it, we hung out, we talked, we had a great time. Biopsy has come back on my hand, it's not looking good. Uh, they have another biopsy that will continue to grow in the lab and figure out exactly what kind of infection it is. I can't ever do anything easy, especially health-wise. This is my life. I accept it. Move it on. I'll handle it when I get home. Until then, everything is good. So let's go. You don't have to figure it all out right now. Here's a little something I'm gonna read to you. Dear younger me, relax. I should have told myself that a long time ago. Hey you, Marcy, just relax, take a chill pill, give it up. Relax. You do not need a 10-year plan, a perfectly mapped-out career, or a fully formed identity by Tuesday. You're allowed to try things, Marcy. You're allowed to quit things. I wish I knew I'd younger Marcy, you're allowed to quit things. You're allowed to change directions, and you're also allowed to start over. You are not behind. Nobody knows what they're doing as much as they pretend. Those are the things I would tell my younger self. So if you're younger, listen up. You're allowed to try things, quit things, change things, start over. You are not behind. And let me tell you, if you are comparing your insides to other people's outsides, stop it. Nobody knows what they're doing. As much as they pretend to. So here's the truth, I'd tell Marcy. The pressure you feel to get it right is mostly imaginary. Life is like a straight highway, and more like hold on, gotta let the dog out. I'm at my nephew's. Hang in there. Alright, I'm back. And I don't think I said that. Life is less like a straight highway, is what I meant to say, and more like a scenic back road with detours. There's nothing better than a scenic back road. Nobody likes a detour, whether you're on the scenic back road or the fast highway, but they happen. And what do you do when you're on a road? You don't have a choice but to figure it out. And those detours that you're figuring out while you're on the move, guess what? Marcy, they're gonna shape you. When you look back on your life, and this is something that my dad told me, he said, you're going to see that all the detours that you went through and the changes that you weren't expecting all are connected. You may not see it now, but they connect. And I see that in my life. I see Craig and I made a lot of left and right turns. We reacted a lot in our life because our plans had to change and they required reaction. We moved, we changed, we bibbed, we bobbed, we weaved. I wasn't expecting that. And one of the reasons I married Craig, along with others, but he was very stable. And interestingly enough, no sooner did he marry me than that stability changed. Whether I brought that instability or that instability was there waiting for us, things changed. A lifelong career. He changed. We moved to Texas. We moved to Europe, we moved back to Texas. Wasn't happy with that career shift and shifted again. We had a lot of shifts, a lot of detours. Here's something else I would tell my younger self. Stop trying to be so likable. Oh, this one. Sweet younger me. You don't need everyone's approval. You don't need to soften every opinion, overexplain every decision. Over-explaining comes from childhood trauma, I can tell you that. I have learned that recently. Being agreeable is not the same thing as being authentic. The right people won't require you to shrink. And the ones who need you smaller, they were never your people. And here's the funny part, Marcy. The moment you stop trying so hard to be liked, you become more yourself and somehow more respected. I hope some of that resonated with some of you. It definitely resonates with me. If it doesn't resonate with you, maybe the next part will. Guess what? Fear is loud. Fear says, what if this goes wrong? Always waiting for that other shoe to drop. Intuition says, this feels off. Learn the difference sooner, Marcy. I wished I had learned the difference between fear and intuition. Fear says, what if this goes wrong? And intuition says this feels off. Learn that difference. It will save you time, energy, and a few headaches. Oh, Marcy girl. Yep. Yep. Well, I'm going through this letter to myself and information to myself. What are you telling yourself? Guess what, Marcy? You're allowed to enjoy your life. This one makes me smile. Younger me thought joy had to be earned. After hard work, after proving something, after accomplishing something. Guess what? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, everyone. You are allowed to laugh on a random Tuesday. Take breaks without guilt. Enjoy your own company. I do like my own company now. Sit still without being productive. Now that's a tough one for me. But you are. You're allowed to sit still without being productive. And let me tell you, on that cruise ship, I learned that. I was sitting still and not being productive. Life is not a constant performance review. And you do not need permission to be happy. Hey Marcy, everything does not deserve a reaction. If I could go back and whisper one thing to my younger self, it might be this. Not everything deserves your energy. Not every comment, not every disagreement, not every moment of tension. Silence is powerful. Calm is powerful. Walking away is powerful. You don't need to attend every emotional argument you're invited to. Welcome to the dog barking series. All right, everybody, give it a rest. Again, you don't need to attend every emotional argument you're invited to. Younger me would have loved that sentence. Older me is putting it into action. Yes, definitely. Putting it into action. You don't need to attend every emotional argument you're invited to. Wow. That's a lot. Take that one in. And guess what, Marcy? You're gonna be okay. Dear younger me, you are going to be okay. Not because life will be perfect, because it won't. But because you're more resilient than you know. You will handle hard things, you grow through uncomfortable seasons, you outgrow people, you will find peace, and you are most definitely, girl, gonna surprise yourself. You don't need to worry so much. You become someone you're proud of. And that's enough. I know this is a rather short episode, but I think it was packed of some important things. Why don't you take a moment and write a letter to your younger self and remember to be kind and be gentle. As this road trip chapter winds down, I'm grateful for the younger version of me, for my mistakes, for my growth, for my evolution. And if you're listening and thinking about your younger self, be kind to them. They were doing the best they could with what they knew. I am Marcy Backis. This is Inside Marcy's Mind. My last on the road trip episode for this stretch. Next week we'll go back to practical life tips, practical life things, things that help make life better, things that help make life easier. That is always my goal here at Inside Marcy's Mind. Don't forget, I have two other podcasts, Aging A for Sissies, and I also have Unbottled. You can find all of my podcasts anywhere you get your podcasts. But if you want them all together, you can find them right on my website, which is Marcybacchusmedia.com. If you want to talk to me, if you want to share with me, if you have things to say, or if you're going on your own road trip and you need some tips, Marcybacchusmedia at gmail.com. Please share this with your friends. Please help my episodes grow. We're doing really well. I'd like to do better. Some point I'd like to make some dang money on this stuff instead of spending money on it. But, anyways, oh here's your reminder. You don't have to go back and fix who you were. You just have to appreciate how far you've come. I'll see you next time from wherever life takes us. Go out and do something positive. God knows this world needs it.