Why I Keep Doing The Thing I Promised I’d Stop

You know that moment when you say “I’m never doing that again” and you mean it with your whole chest, then somehow you’re right back in the same mess a week later? I’m naming names today and yes, my name is on the list too.

I start with a fresh example: buying a new car, walking in with credit union financing, and still running into the stress of the dealership dance. Add in the special frustration of being treated like you don’t know what you’re doing, and it becomes a bigger conversation about boundaries, confidence, and why we keep choosing hard things even when we hate the process. The payoff matters though because the right small SUV means my pedal-assist bike finally fits, and that’s freedom for Chicago forest preserves all spring and summer.

Then we get into the habits that sneak into everyday life: overpacking (yes, even when we swear we won’t), shopping for things we already own, getting sucked into the one conversation we promised we’d avoid, and the late-night snack spiral that shows up right when we’re trying to wind down. I also talk honestly about weight maintenance, the fear tied to “fat clothes,” and how health journeys don’t follow a neat script.

We land on the real takeaway: maybe the goal isn’t perfection. Maybe it’s catching ourselves sooner, laughing a little faster, and choosing one small change next time. If you relate, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find us and feel a little less alone.

Transcript

Buying A Car And Being Talked Down

Overpacking And Just-In-Case Outfits

Getting Sucked Into Draining Conversations

Bedtime Snacking And Weight Maintenance

Shopping For Duplicates You Don’t Need

Morning Phone Scrolling And Instant Stress

Other Podcasts Plug And Website

The Real Goal Awareness Not Perfection

Share With A Friend And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hello, and welcome to Inside Marcy's Mind. My name is Marcy Backis, and I am your host. In this podcast, we talk about all kinds of nonsense. This, that, and the other thing. Some life hacks here and there. And today we're talking about things I swear I'll never do again, but probably will. I don't know if you can relate to that, but if you can, hang around and we'll get into it. As I'm coming on the air today, I am getting thunderstorm warnings right and left. So if you hear a crack of thunder or a crack of lightning, it's because it's out there in my world here in Chicago. Um, I hope this podcast today finds you well. I hope life is going in the right direction for you. Okay, I need to know I'm not alone in this. Have you ever said very confidently, I am never doing that again? Like you mean it? You felt it in your soul, and maybe even announced it to other people. And then a week later, there you are doing the exact same thing again. So today we're calling ourselves out because this episode is all about the things we swear we'll never do again. But let's be honest, we probably will. So this week I bought a new car. Um, not the car I thought I was gonna buy, not the car I went in to buy. And I hate buying cars. Do you hate buying cars? I hate dealing with car salesmen. Not so much the salesman as the finance guy. I went in um with my own financing through my credit union because I didn't want to pay cash for it. I wanted to finance it, and I got a great deal from our credit union and just all that crap. We don't do that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, Saturday we went out looking at cars and I test drove a Hyundai. I need a small SUV and ended up seeing a Volvo, a used two used, well, one used Volvo on their lot. A nice SUV in great shape. Minimal miles, uh, like a grandma drove it that drove well, you just in great shape. And they said they also had the smaller one, but it wouldn't be there till Monday. And I I really didn't want the big one, but it was such a great deal, I almost bought it. But I held off and went Monday. I had to go by myself. I had to go by myself, which, you know, I'm very capable, and Craig knows that. And he's like, he's just really busy at work right now. And I knew there was another lady coming back, and she wanted either one of just like me. She wasn't sure which one she wanted either. So I went back in the afternoon, and there is a point. Why, why, why in this day and age do men, even young men, because they were young, try to treat you like you're stupid and you don't know anything. I almost walked out. I was inches, and I actually said, okay, I, you know what, this is, I don't need this, I'm gonna go. And things change, tunes change, blah, blah, blah. But man, man, oh man. I always say I'm never gonna buy another car. I hate this. And there I was doing it again and doing it alone. I bought my last car by myself, too. Um, but I love it. I absolutely love it. She's down in my garage. I drove it home Monday, and as usual in my life, today is Thursday, and I haven't driven anywhere. So she's not gonna get much miles on her now, but she fits my bike, and that was the main thing. I uh have a pedal assist bike that you can't put on a bike rack. It didn't fit in my other car, and um I needed a car that we could put my bike in, and now we have it. So that's everything to me. I will be able this spring, summer, we can go out to all the different forest preserves out here around Chicago and ride bikes, and I'm excited. But today we are we're talking about things that we swear we're never gonna do, and we do it again. I want to welcome you back to Inside Marcy's Mind, where we figure out life one real slightly sarcastic conversation at a time. I am Marcy, and around here we are trying to, we are not trying to be perfect. We are just trying to be a little more aware and laugh at ourselves along the way. Because honestly, if we can't laugh at ourselves, we're gonna be in big trouble. So I'm not an overpacker, but I know a lot of you are, a lot of you. And I have a few friends out there. Mary might be one of them. And um, we swear we're never gonna overpack again. And even though I'm not an overpacker, I still feel like I overpack and I don't compare to many other people. And I'll come home and I've not worn things and I say, okay, I'm gonna pack lighter on my next trip. I don't need all these options. I'm gonna be very organized. And then suddenly I'm not packing like I'm moving, but a lot of you are. Why do I need three pairs of black pants? That is the truth. You don't. Five tops that all look the same. Shoes for situations that'll never happen. Maybe it's gonna rain, maybe it's gonna snow. I don't know. My just in case outfit. Just in case what, Marcy? Just in case you get invited to a gala while you're on your way to Target. Like we are so funny about that. And we swear we'll never do it again. And here we are getting ready for our next trip. We know we're not wearing half of it, and yet it goes in the suitcase. And even for me, the light packer, I I packed so much for this six-week road trip. Well, I was gonna be gone six weeks, and I need options. And I yes, I had stuff for my birthday weekend in Vegas, and yes, I had stuff for the cruise to dress nice at night, and that was fine. But the everyday wear, I ended up with like a basic uniform of what I wore all the time. And then did I shop? Yes, I shopped so much on my six-week road trip, and I shopped at so many different TJ Maxx. I think I might have told you this. I got a fraud alert on my TJ Maxx when I was at the one in Torrance by Kyle's house. Because I had shopped in so many TJ Maxxs in so many states, they were worried. I said, mind your business, it's just me. I actually we're always grateful they do that, aren't we? But when you're in the moment and your credit card gets declined and you got to wait for that text and all that stuff, it's it's frustrating. But between the shopping I did and all I packed, it was it was overwhelming for me. So if you are an overpacker, just go with it. Give yourself a break. Poor Mary. Coming for my birthday weekend. Okay, Mary, I'm telling on you. I'm telling tales out of school. But Mary said to me, I don't think I can do just a um carry on. I go, then don't do it. Don't stress yourself out, people. If you're an overpacker, be an overpacker. I can't stand it because I'll tell you why. I I like, you know, I want to be able to handle my own luggage. And if I'm traveling with Craig, we like to not check. If I'm traveling alone, I check because I can't lift it over my head. But neither here nor there. If you're an overpacker, run with it. Don't tell yourself the lie anymore. Don't lie to yourself. Okay. This is a really good one. Do you ever tell yourself I'm not getting sucked into that conversation? You know the one. You see it coming. You know how it's gonna go. And literally, you tell yourself, I am not engaging. Disengage now, Marcy, right now. And then someone says one thing, just one, and suddenly you're 45 minutes in, annoyed, exhausted, and wondering why you got involved in the first place. And I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what my conversation is. And it happened today. I Craig was home having lunch when I got home from the gym. And he says, hey, and the minute he says that, I want to run because I know it's gonna be a technology question. My iPad and my phone are not getting my my emails. Oh my god, I just know I want to disengage, I want to run, I know how it's gonna go. And it did, and we managed to get through it, but man, I tell myself, I'm not getting sucked into that conversation. I know Craig by Craig's demeanor, I know when he's gonna say things where I don't want to be a participant. And yet, every time, especially I am an insanely helpful person. I also like to figure things out. So when somebody tells me I'm not getting emails on my phone, I want to figure out why. And I can't rest until I do. So it's it's uh yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. It sucks me in. Sucks me in. What about you? What about you? Are there conversations that you get sucked into that you swear you're never gonna do again? Why do we walk directly into the conversation? We know is going to drain us, and it did. He he talked to me into my napping time, people. My napping time. That's sacred ground. Patrick was sitting on my lap waiting for me to lay down, and I couldn't because I was helping Craig. We don't get a medal for participating in this, we just get exhausted. Okay, this one is one of mine. I'm not eating late at night anymore. Well, it's not really late at night. For me, it's eating in bed. Bedtime eating activities. During the day, I am as disciplined as I can be. I hydrate, I make really good choices, and then 9 30 p.m. hits and it's like, I need ice cream. I need ice cream, I need MMs, I need something. Last night at 9 30 at night, I came out of the bedroom and I made myself, although it be my favorite. If you've never had Royo R-O-Y-O, low-carb bagels, they are the best. They're big, like big New York bagels, but they're really low in carbs, high in protein. So although it was a 9.30 p.m. decision, I made the best I could. It was a cinnamon raisin one, so it gave me that sweet treat. But stupid me, what the hell? It's 9.30 at night, Marcy. What are you doing? What am I doing? Eating something straight out of the container like a raccoon. I don't know why I do it. Why we're doing so well, and yet here we are, one snack away from starting over tomorrow. I tell myself I'm not gonna do it, and occasionally I do. Uh more times now than not, I don't. I'm getting a handle on that. I've kept 50 pounds off for several years now, actually. Speaking of that, I am going out to the storage unit on Monday and I'm getting rid of my fat clothes. Yes, I've set it here, so now I have to do it. I've held on to my fat Marcy clothes for two years now. And although I've gone up and down a little, mainly from the dang cancer medicine I have to take um for five years, but and I'm not mad at it. It's good medicine, I but it it tends to throw you back into menopause and a little bit of having to fight weight. But I'm fighting it and I'm winning the battle, people. I'm winning the battle. But um, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go get rid of the fat clothes. That's so scary for me. I've been fat for so long. Oh, but I'm doing it. Anyways. Now here's the one that I really struggle with. I'm not buying another pair of wide leg jeans. I'm not buying. I said that to Lynn. I texted Lynn, I'm not buying another pair because all right, that's gonna be a weird transition because Craig walked in unexpectedly while I was in the middle of that. But yes, I told Lynn I'm not buying another pair of wide-legged jeans, and you know what? I looked in my Amazon and I was being delivered a pair of wide-legged jeans that day. Yes, yes. I'm not buying another. Okay, for me, it's close specifically. Things I already have. I do not need another pair of wide-leg jeans. I do not need, I don't need a freaking thing. And then I see one and suddenly this one is different. No, it's not, Marcy, you idiot. It's the same shirt in a slightly different fabric. Or I will convince myself otherwise every single time. I literally don't have room in my closet. I live in a one-bedroom condo, or but I still manage to. I still manage to buy crap. Shove it in, find another way to organize it. I don't know why I tell myself that lie. It's a lie, it's a big fat lie, it's a big fat lie. I'm gonna always buy things. We don't need more stuff. We need to remember what we already own. This isn't fun. I'm not checking my phone first thing when I wake up. This one, this one gets me. I'm gonna have a calm morning. I'm not going to look at my phone. I don't want to know what the president has fucked up this time. I'm going to start my day peacefully. And then before my eyes are even fully open, I'm scrolling. Instead of starting my day calmly, I'm already reacting. Why do we do this? We had our moon, our mood over to the world before we even give ourselves a chance. We had it right over to the take a quick break there. All right. Why we say yes in the moment and regret it in the schedule. We do. We just do. All right, a quick pause because I've got something to share with you. If you're loving this episode, and I hope you are, don't forget I've got two other podcasts you need in your life. Aging A for Sissies, where we talk about aging with humor, honesty, and just the right amount of sass because we are not going quietly. Unbottled, where we talk about sobriety, real life, and what it actually takes to change your life one day at a time. And everything episodes, updates, all that good stuff is all over on my website. So go check it out and then come right back here because we're not done yet. Let's be honest about something. Maybe the goal isn't to never do these things again, because clearly that's not working. Maybe the goal is to catch ourselves a little sooner, to laugh about it and to say, oh look, I'm doing that again, and not beat ourselves up over it. Because life isn't about being perfect. It's about being aware enough to smile at your own patterns. And maybe just maybe put one less just-in-case outfit in that suitcase next time. All right. That's what's been on my mind this week. If you saw yourself in this episode, which I know you did, share it with a friend so they can laugh at themselves too. And I'll see you next time right here inside Marcy's mind. Go do something positive.