Mental Health Toolkit

We stop treating mental health like an emergency and start treating it like something we practice, so we can handle hard days with resilience instead of panic. I walk through the simple tools that helped me after a rough January, from movement and connection to boundaries and a Break Glass list that can carry you when you feel overwhelmed. 
• building a mental health toolkit before life gets messy 
• using walking and movement as medicine for stress 
• choosing one trusted person who answers and listens 
• resetting your system with breathing and music 
• journaling to get the noise out of your head 
• setting boundaries that protect your energy 
• using laughter, fresh air, and nature to shift mood 
• practicing gratitude without pretending problems are gone 
• making a “When I’m Falling Apart” Break Glass list 

If you've enjoyed today's episode, please share it with a friend who might need it. 
If you go to Marcybackhusmedia.com, you can find a list, a toolbox list to help yourself out. 
Share this with a friend.

Transcript

Mental Health Toolkit Not Therapy

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey everyone, welcome back to Inside Marcy's Mind, a scary place to be, but I'm glad you're here. And today we're talking about something that affects every single one of us. Whether you're young, old, married, single, working retired, working retired, your parents, people without kids, literally everyone. We're going to talk about mental health today. Not before I now, now before anybody gets nervous, this isn't going to be a therapy session. I'm not a therapist. Remember, take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'm a nobody with a microphone. I'm not going to be diagnosing anybody, but I'm certain, and I'm certainly not going to tell you to sit cross-legged on the floor and chant for 30 minutes. What I really do want to talk about, though, is something much simpler. I want to talk about your mental health toolkit. Because here's what I've noticed. Most of us have a toolbox somewhere in our house. We have several. We have tools for fixing the sink, tools for hanging pictures, tools for changing attire, tools for gardening, tools for every possible emergency. But when life falls apart, when you're overwhelmed or anxious, stressed, lonely, and even heartbroken, suddenly we're standing there with absolutely not a single dog-on tool. And we're just hoping we'll somehow figure it out. And as we talked about last week, hope is not a plan. Today we're going to build a mental health toolkit. Not for when life is perfect, but for when life gets messy. Because if you've been alive for more than five minutes, you already know life gets messy. Now, last week's episode, we talked about creating your own personal board of directors. And I neglected, and I put it up today on my website, marcybackusmedia.com, is a worksheet for that, putting together your personal board of directors. So along the same lines as putting together your personal board of directors, I thought when it comes to our mental health, why are we out there just alone on a desert island trying to figure it out? Having trusted people you can call when life gets complicated is just as important as who to call to help you with your finances, health insurance, and things like that. And today's episode actually builds on that idea because one of the most important tools in your toolkit may actually be another person, just like we talked about last week. But this is for your mental health. So we'll get to that, but first let's talk about why we need a toolkit in the first place.

Chicago Check In And Community Joy

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Okay. Well, before we even get to that, let me just talk about, I like to talk about little personal things. This week is very exciting here in Chicago because today the presidential, the Obama Presidential Center, and it's not a library, it's a presidential center. I've been down there, I've seen the outside, it's amazing. It's got beautiful gardens and water features and places for kids to play. It has a gymnasium with a basketball court because we all know Obama loved his basketball. It's a well-thought-out, well-designed place. It's meant to enhance the community, give a place for the community to come together. I think he did, and his team did, and Michelle a really great job of bringing something special to the south side of Chicago. Craig and I rode our bikes around it a few weeks ago. It's stunning. It's in a beautiful location next to a pond. It creates a beautiful reflection from the top floor. You can see the beautiful city of Chicago. Take a look at it online if you haven't seen it. We got lots of fancy people here in town. I haven't seen any of the fancy people, but I know there's a lot. And that's what's been happening here. We've got I've had a lot of rain this spring, but again, it's been beautiful. And I am happy to live here and happy to be a part of this little bit of history. So that's what's happening with me, hoping your life is going well. All right.

Stop Waiting For A Crisis

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Have you ever noticed how human beings wait until there's a problem before taking action? We are so that. All of a sudden there's a problem, we take action. We don't exercise until our doctor says we should. We don't save money until we're worried about retirement. We don't back up our computer until we lose our photos. We don't think about mental health until we're hanging on by a thread. By a thread. And that's really backwards. I had a really big issue in January. And I actually had two issues in January. I was having one issue when the second issue came up, having no idea what I was dealing with with the first issue. I'm not going to share them with you because they're super personal, but let's just say it was insane. And it was really hard. And I wasn't, I didn't look for help until I was hanging on by a thread. And that really is backwards. You don't buy a fire extinguisher after your kitchen catches on fire. During the fire, you don't go out and buy a fire extinguisher. You don't buy insurance after the accident. And you shouldn't build a mental health toolkit until after you've hit rock bottom. Suffice it to say, after January, I have a mental health toolkit now. Your goal isn't crisis management. Your goal is resilience, the ability to bounce back, to recover, to keep moving forward when life throws a wrench into your plans. And trust me, life always throws a wrench into your plans. I have a great life. I am very blessed in a bajillion of ways. And I still got thrown a curveball in January. Actually, like I said, two curveballs. And um, you know, I learned

Walking As Movement Medicine

SPEAKER_00 6:35

a lot. And the first thing I learned is let's start with the number one tool you should have in your toolkit is walking. Now, before you roll your eyes and say, Oh, great, another podcasting tell me to exercise. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about movement as medicine. Now, I have an oldest child that deals with mental health. And my question always when they call me with an issue, have you been outside today? So I'm talking about movement as medicine. Have you ever noticed that problems look different after a walk? You're furious, you take a walk. You come back less furious. You are overwhelmed, you take a walk. You come back with a little bit more clarity. You're anxious, you walk, you breathe, your body settles. There is something powerful about changing your physical environment. Sometimes we stay stuck because we're literally sitting in the same chair staring at the same problem. The first tool in your toolkit is get up, move, walk around the block, walk through Target if it's raining. I don't care, just move. Number one tool in your toolkit. Outdoor if you can, Target if you can't, Costco if you can't. I don't care. But move your body. If all you can do is walk around your couch, if that's all you can muster, that's what I want you to do. I want you to move. I will tell you, living here in downtown Chicago, I walk a lot, a ton more than I ever, ever walked in my life living in the suburbs. I take out my car maybe once a week. Other than that, as you know, you want to go to the drugstore, you walk. You want to go to the hardware store, you walk. You want to go to lunch, you walk. You want to go to the gym, you walk. You want to go out to dinner, you walk. You want to go grab an ice cream in the evening, you walk. We walk. And it has been a big difference in my mental health. But there are times I have to force myself, get outside. I'll be inside. I don't know, yesterday was a prime example, went to the doctor, came home. It was a really gloomy, rainy day, and I just crawled in bed. And after a while, it's like, okay, you got to get up and you got to move. And I just got up, moved around the condo, did some things, printed out some papers I needed to do. Even though I wasn't sick and there was nothing wrong with me, laying in bed started to mess with my mind. As much as I thought, oh, I just want to be cozy in bed. After a while, it started to do a number on my brain. And I got up and I moved. So number one is moving.

The One Person Who Helps

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Number two, everybody needs a person, not 10 people, one person. The friend who answers the phone, the friend who doesn't judge, the friend who tells you the truth, the friend who says, okay, take a breath. Tell me what's happening. That person saved my ass in January. I have that person. Sometimes what heals us isn't advice, it's being heard. It's knowing we're not alone. The older I get, the more I realize that connection is medicine. Amen to that. Connection is medicine. Who is your person? And if you don't have one, maybe it's time to start building those relationships now, not during the crisis, before it. Identify a person that you're close to. Let that person know how important they are to you. And let them know that for your mental health, you're going to start sharing a little bit of your life and sharing the positive, not just the negative, so that you build that relationship so that when the shit hits the fan, you have someone to call. And you don't want that person to be a person that you only tell problems to. You want to share life with that person, good and bad. So now we have walking and a person. Take a deep breath. Let it out. That's a big part of stress. And right there, I was stressing. I've got other things on my mind. I'm working on this podcast. And all of a sudden I felt the need. And I'll do that during the day. Just breathe in. Breathe out. Reset your system.

Music And A Breathing Reset

SPEAKER_00 11:25

The next thing I want to talk about is music. This one is wildly underrated. Music can change your mood in minutes. Now I found when I was home, I always had the TV on. I just like the company. But you know what I found was even better? On YouTube. They have all kinds of ambiance videos. So I pick one. There's millions of them. I go by season. Right now I'm looking at spring-summer ones. It may be the ocean, it may be whatever, and beautiful jazz music. As a matter of fact, I have it on silence. It's in the background. And here. I don't know if you can hear that. I don't have it that loud. But I run that in the background all the time at home. I love it. It makes me feel so good and so positive and so happy. In the fall, I have beautiful fall scenes with crackling fires and jazz music and uh winter, beautiful winter scenes with snow falling. Sometimes they're a city scene, sometimes they're a country scene. Go in and look under Ambiance on YouTube and you will find all kinds of things. Now, there's also great music that you love. Craig and I have albums, and we have a record player, and Saturday morning, Craig puts on records, and I love it. It makes me feel good. There are songs that make you cry, there are songs that make you dance. There are songs that take you back to high school, your first love, remind you of a road trip. Music has the ability to transport us. And sometimes that's exactly what we need. I have certain songs that instantly improve my mood. Taylor Swift's Shake It Off is one of my favorites. And Happy. That's another one by um Pharrell Williams. You probably do too. If you don't have a feel better playlist, make one. Make it today, not tomorrow, today. So if you have a moment that you need that list, it's ready to go. So number three, music. We have walking. We have our person. Tool number three was music. Tool number four,

Journaling To Clear Mental Noise

SPEAKER_00 13:46

journaling. Now don't leave. I know some of you just heard the word journaling and thought, nope, not me, not happening, not today. Stay with me. This isn't dear diary. This isn't writing poetry. This is getting the circus out of your head. This is so important because sometimes our brains sound like a room full of toddlers who've had too much sugar. Thoughts are everywhere. Bing, bing, bing, bing. Worries are everywhere. Fears are everywhere. Writing helps organize that chaos. It also gets it out of your head and on paper, and it allows you to let it go. Try answering three questions if you want. So we're not talking mumbo jumbo journaling. What am I feeling? Why am I feeling it? And what can I do about it? Simple. I'm feeling stressed. Why am I feeling it? Because I got a lot going on in life. What can I do about it? Nothing right now might be the answer. Simple. You don't need a fancy notebook. A napkin works just fine. If you want a fancy notebook and a fancy pen, that works too. But get it out of your brain and onto paper. It loses its power. It loses its power. Understand that.

Boundaries That Protect Your Sanity

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Number five is a super important one, and that is boundaries. It is the hardest tool. Boundaries. Because mental health isn't only about what we do, it's also about what we stop doing. Setting boundaries is hard. Sticking to boundaries is even harder. But what I want you to do is stop answering every text immediately. That's hard for me. But I try now to take a step back and wait. Stop saying yes when you want to say no. No is a complete sentence. We've had this conversation, everyone. Stop saying yes when you want to say no. Say yes when you want to say yes for sure. But say no when you want to to. Stop attending things you dread. I am working on this one. There is something that Craig and I do that I don't enjoy, partially because of Craig. He is who he is. He can't change who he is. He makes this uncomfortable for me. He makes it hard for me. And he knows this. We've had long discussions. I'm not sharing anything here out of school. I'm not telling any tales, but I'm gonna stop going because I don't want to anymore. I'm setting a boundary. Stop trying to fix everybody else's problems. This one has been hard for me with my kids because I'm a fixer. I am a fixer. I fix everything. I fix the printer, I fix the computer, I fix the TV, I fix the cats, I fix the kids, I fix the cars, I fix everything. I am a fixer. Now that is inherently who I am. I'm not gonna change that. But I can help my kids better by helping them, allowing them to fix their own issues. I can be a sounding board, I can ask questions, but I need to stop fixing. And I'm doing that. Oh, stop carrying responsibilities that don't belong to you. Write those on the paper, get them out of your head. Don't do that. And that one is especially hard for people that are helpers. I'm not a helper, I'm a fixer. And there is a difference. I don't carry other people's responsibilities, but I want to fix everybody's problems. And if you're listening to this podcast, there's a good chance you are a helper. Boundaries are not selfish, they are protective. They protect your energy, your peace, and your sanity. We have a couple more tools left.

Laughter Nature And Gratitude

SPEAKER_00 17:56

They're a little bit lighter. Laughter. Can we please stop underestimating laughter? Seriously. Life is hard enough. Watch the funny movie. Call the funny friend. If you want something funny to watch, watch um. Oh my gosh, it just went right out of my head. Kim's Convenience. Kim's Convenience. It was a um sitcom up in Canada. They're without commercials, they're like 20-minute episodes. They are feel good. So watch the funny movie, call the funny friend, watch dog videos, laugh at yourself. Some days laughter is the wealthiest thing, healthiest, excuse me, healthiest thing you do. And it's also the wealthiest. It is the richest thing you can do in your life is to enrich it with laughter. And if you're taking yourself too seriously, stop. That's usually a sign you need more laughter. I am funny. I love to laugh. I can be a jackass too, but I'm pretty funny. I like to laugh at myself. So, you know. Tool number seven in our toolkit is get outside. You know what almost never makes people feel? I'm sorry. You know what almost never makes people feel better? Sitting in a dark room scrolling social media. You know what does make you feel better? Fresh air, sunlight, trees, and nature. A front porch, a park bench, a lake, a garden. I can walk a block and be at the lake and look out there, and it's beautiful. And I love to do that. We were not designed to live entirely inside. Get outside, your brain will thank you. Tool number eight is gratitude. Gratitude. Now, before anybody accuses me of toxic positivity, that's not what this is. I'm not saying ignore your problems. I'm not saying pretend everything is wonderful. I'm saying ask one question. What is one thing that is good right now? If you are in the darkest darks, the deepest deeps, the grossest gross, the what is one thing that's good right now? Maybe it's your dog. Maybe it's your coffee. Maybe it's your best friend. Maybe it's all of the above. Maybe it's the fact that you're breathing. Maybe it's the fact that you live to be 65. Maybe it's that you can look out your window and Sea Lake, Michigan. I don't see a huge part of it, but I do see a good chunk of a sliver. And it's enough to let me know it's there every day. When I'm stressed out, I'll go look at that. And sometimes a little sailboat will go right through it. Sometimes one small thing is enough to shift your perspective. My oldest has been through a lot in life, and I do spend some times reminding them where they were a year ago or where they were a year and a half ago. Kyle spent a little time living in a car. It wasn't great. It was one of those moments where I had to let Kyle be Kyle and figure it out. Hardest thing I ever did, best thing Kyle ever did. Get a lot of perspective living in a car. Kyle doesn't live in a car anymore. But man, when life gets hard, you could look back on that and know it could be harder. And as a parent and as a mom, I can look back and think, the best thing I ever did for Kyle was allow Kyle to figure Kyle's way out of that problem. All right.

Make A Break Glass List

SPEAKER_00 21:43

The break the glass list. You know how you break a break glass in case of emergency? This is the most important tool. Create a list now. Not later now. Title it When I'm Falling Apart. Number one, take a walk. Number two, drink water. Number three, call. Number four, listen to my playlist. Number five, get outside. Number six, stop scrolling. And number seven, go to bed. Because when I'm unoverwhelmed, we don't think clearly. The list thinks for us. I know it sounds simple, but when you are overwhelmed and you are losing it, this list will save your life. I promise you, it will help you. Here's what I've learned. Mental health isn't something you work on when life is bad. Mental health is something you practice when life is good. Because hard days are coming. Not because you're doing anything wrong, because that's life. People get sick, jobs change, relationships struggle, dreams don't always work out. Life happens. The goal isn't avoiding hard days, it's being prepared for them. Before we go, I want you to think about one question. If tomorrow turned out to be one of the hardest days of your life, what tools would you have available? Who would you call? What would help? Where would you turn? If you don't know the answer yet, that's okay. This week, start building your toolkit, one tool at a time, because life isn't about avoiding storms. It's about having what you need when you arrive. As always, I want to thank you for spending part of your day with me on Inside Marcy's Mind.

Resources And Closing Thoughts

SPEAKER_00 23:36

If you've enjoyed today's episode, please share it with a friend who might need it. And remember, be kind, be curious, and take care of your mind. I will see you next week right here in Inside Marcy's Mind. If you go to Marcybackismedia.com, you can find a list, a toolbox list to help yourself out. And just a reminder: I have two other podcasts, Aging Name for Sissies and Embottles. You can find them where you found this one. You can also find them at MarcybackusMedia.com. And I'd love to have you listen to my other podcasts as well. And until next time, take care of yourself. Take care of your mental health. Share this with a friend.