Life Is Too Short For The Bad Fork

I’m sharing the weirdly specific rules I’ve collected over the years, from the right glass for Diet Coke to the one fork that just feels correct. The more I talk through mugs, towels, beds, and grocery carts, the clearer it gets that knowing what you like is a kind of everyday wisdom. 
• drinkware beliefs that make beverages taste “right” 
• favorite mug loyalty and the silent outrage of someone else using it 
• good fork versus mystery fork and strong opinions about knives 
• towel folding styles and why we all judge them 
• dishwasher loading systems and the quiet urge to rearrange 
• bed comfort standards from sheets to pillow weight to fans 
• shopping cart test drives and frustration with store redesigns 
• parking “territory” and the calm spot strategy 
• invisible seating charts at home, church, meetings, and classes 
• food preferences, ketchup debates, and protecting the best bite 
• thermostat wars, hotel room temperature battles, and restaurant seating habits 
• shower order routines, towel size requirements, and travel systems 
Send me your weird little preferences. You know my address, MarcyBacusmedia at gmail.com. 
If this episode made you laugh, send it to somebody who has a favorite fork and refuses to admit it. 
Make sure you follow or subscribe so we can keep having these conversations every week.

Transcript

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Welcome And The Big Idea

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hello, hello, and welcome to Inside Marcy's Mind. I am Marcy of Inside Marcy's Mind. And this is the podcast where we talk about life. Not necessarily the big earth-shattering parts of it. Sometimes we talk about the really important stuff, and sometimes we talk about the fact that there is absolutely a correct class for Diet Coke. And a correct place to get your Diet Coke and a way to drink your Diet Coke, but I digress. And I will not be taking questions at this time. Last week we talked about all, I think last week's episode was my favorite in a very long time. We talked about those little things that make us happy. Clean sheets, a cool breeze on a hot day. And yes, I washed my sheets after that just because it made me want to. A really crisp diet coke, those tiny things that can turn an ordinary day into a pretty darn good one. And I loved that episode because I realized afterwards that so much of life really does come down to the little stuff. But then I started thinking about something else. There are little things that make us happy, and then there are little things that we are just weirdly particular about. You know what I mean. Maybe it's how your bed's made. Not things that actually matter, okay? Nobody is going to end a marriage over them. Well, depending on how somebody loads a dishwasher. Maybe I shouldn't make promises. Anyways, but we have these tiny preferences that somehow become very important to us. And I think the older we get, the more we know exactly what they are. When you're 22, you drink your coffee without anything. Styrofoam cup, sure, a chip mug, don't care. An old plastic cup from college, why not? Now, no, I have standards. I want the right cup, the right temperature, the right chair, the right pillow, the right fork. And yes, there is a right fork. And today we're going to talk about things I'm weirdly particular about. And as I go through my things, I want you to start thinking about yours. Because I guarantee you have them. You might think you're easygoing. You might think, hmm, Marcy, I'm really not particular. Okay. Let somebody rearrange your kitchen and we'll see.

Drinkware Rules And Favorite Mugs

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Let's start with the drink wear. Because apparently at some point in adulthood, we all decided beverages taste different depending on what they're served in. Now, again, think about when you were young. Didn't really care. Guess what? You care now. And I don't even care if science agrees. A diet coke poured into the right glass with good ice, mmm, hits the right spot. Same diet coke in some weird plastic tumbler. Nope, not working for me. A completely different beverage. I don't know why. I don't make the rules. And coffee is the same way. Everybody has a favorite mug. I do, Club 33 mug from Disneyland that my friend Diana brought me. Now, as big a Disneyland fanatic is as I am, I've never made it into Club 33. Club 33, for those of you who don't know, and I can't believe some of you don't, is the private club inside Disneyland. And as long as I've been going for my entire life, and as many times as I've been there, I've not been lucky enough to go. But two of my friends have. One got me a pair of Club 33 ears. You can only get them in Club 33. And my other bought me a beautiful coffee mug. It's tall, it's thin, it has all the, it hits all the right notes. And that is my favorite coffee mug. And if somebody else uses your mug, you notice. You don't necessarily say anything because you are mature. You are emotionally evolved. But inside you're thinking, oh, I see you have my mug. We all have a favorite. Maybe it fits into your hand correctly. That is important for me with my crunchy hands. Maybe it's the perfect size. Maybe it keeps the hot coffee hot just long enough. And if you know, you know. Maybe it came from a vacation. Maybe it is the achieved, it has achieved mug status. The other mugs, background actors. All right.

The Good Fork And Knife Opinions

SPEAKER_00 4:35

How about a good fork? Now let's talk about silverware. And yes, there is a good fork. There is also a bad fork. Everybody knows this. The good fork has the right weight, the handle feels right, and the tines are shaped correctly. You pick it up and think, yes, this is how a fork should behave. And there's that one strange fork that somehow infiltrated your silverware drawer drawer. Where did it come from? Nobody knows. It doesn't match anything. The handle is too skinny or too thick. Or there's something weird happening with the tines. And every time you accidentally grab it, you immediately put it back. Why do we still own it? That's the mystery. Well, I don't own mine anymore because when we moved here, I brought only the one set of silverware that we actually love. It was the one that we registered for at Creighton Barrel 35 years ago when we got married. It's a salts, it's called Salzburg. They don't make it anymore, and it is perfect. It is heavyweight. Oh, it's just so perfect. But that mystery fork apparently is part of the family now. You don't use it, you don't like it, but you never get rid of it. And knives, some knives are clearly better than others. This is adulthood. Speaking of which, I cleaned out our knife drawer here because we just had too many, and I kept the ones I thought Craig used. Because I'm not particular about knives, Craig is. I thought I kept all the right ones. Well, guess what? I didn't. Thank goodness I didn't get rid of the other ones. They were in a Ziploc bag. You know that weird cupboard over the refrigerator that you never go into? They were in there. And the bag actually said stuff Craig probably likes and I don't. And I told him where to find his damn knife. At this point, I think adulthood mostly means having strong opinions about cutlery.

Towel Folding And Linen Closet Drama

SPEAKER_00 6:38

I can't say that word. Towels, towels. Oh boy. How do you fold your towels? Because this is apparently one of the great dividing lines in society. Some people fold them in thirds, some people fold them in half. Some people roll them. I'm a roller. Some people appear to just sort of ball them up and shove them in the closet. Those people do concern me. If you have lived with someone for any amount of time, chances are you've had the towel conversation. There's your way, and there's the way other people do it, which is obviously wrong. And what's funny is that none of this really matters. The towel still dries your body. The towel doesn't care. The towel is staying completely neutral. But we care. We walk into the linen closet and think, who folded these towels? Like we're investigating a crime scene. And then you refold them because apparently you had nothing else to do that day. Yep. Craig and I fold things completely different. The dishwasher,

Dishwasher Loading Wars At Home

SPEAKER_00 7:52

oh my God. He needs to he loads it totally wrong, and then things don't get clean. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Just saying. Now we have arrived at one of the most dangerous topics in long-term relationships. Yes, because it's important that the dishes get clean. Good God. The dishwasher. I'm convinced every household has one person who loads the dishwasher correctly. That is me. And one person who believes they do. That is Craig. There's absolutely a system. Plates go here, bowls go here. There are directions that came with the dishwasher for God's sakes. Glasses go here, large items have to be angled. You cannot block the little spinny thing. And you can't face the dishes the wrong way because they don't get as clean. Sometimes they come out with stuff on them. Ugh. You can't put one giant mixing bowl in there and take up 43% of the dishwasher. Who taught you this? Nobody. You just know. And when somebody else loads it and you open the dishwasher and immediately become a civil engineer. No, no, no, no, no. This is inefficient. Then comes the question: do you rearrange it? Absolutely, I do. Because you don't want to make a big thing out of it, you do it quietly. I huff and puff, maybe some. But now you have made it a thing internally. I think loading the dishwasher may be one of the clearest examples of being weirdly particular because there are households all over America where somebody is currently thinking, I love you deeply, but I do not understand what you're trying to accomplish here.

Bedsheets Pillows And Sleep Negotiations

SPEAKER_00 9:33

How about the bed? Woo! Last week we talked about those clean sheets. I am also particular about my bed. And I think a lot of us are. The sheets have to feel right, the pillows have to be right, the temperature has to be right, the covers need to be have the appropriate weight, right? Right? I can't stand oh the wrong weighted covers. And I can't stand tightly. Craig tightly tucks in the sheets and I rip them all out. That's the first thing I do in a hotel room: rip out those sheets. I can't stand it when you feel like you're in a sarcophagus. At some point, we decided beds need six pillows that nobody actually sleeps on. Every night you remove them. Every morning you put them back. Why? We don't know. It's tradition. I love my bed. I actually had AI help me design my bed. I put all the things that I loved on it in just a regular way. And I said, what would you do to make this better? And oh my gosh, I love my bed now. And I all I had to buy is one extra lumbar pillow. And it made the whole bed. I love it. Love it. So if you're not sure, talk to AI. And if you're sharing your bed, that opens up a whole new set of negotiations. One person is freezing, one's sweating. One person wants a fan, I'm that person. The other person says the fan's blowing directly into their eyeball, and that is Craig. Then somebody takes all the covers. That is Craig. And you lie there at 2:13 in the morning thinking, this is how dateline episodes begin. But when the temperature is perfect, the sheets are clean, and we have the right pillow, that's luxury. Forget five-star hotels. Give me comfortable sheets and a pillow that doesn't feel like somebody stuffed a pillowcase with dryer lint, and I'm a happy girl.

Shopping Cart Inspections And Store Layouts

SPEAKER_00 11:30

How about grocery store carts? See, you thought an episode about being particular would be super short. Here's one that I'm extremely particular about shopping carts. I will trust drive a test drive a shopping cart. I have no shame. I will grab it, I will push it five feet, and if I hear clunk, clunk, clunk, or the wheel's going wonky, or it doesn't back up, nope, back it goes. I am not spending the next 40 minutes dragging a cart with one bad wheel around the store. No. And why would you? I refuse. If it's noisy, oh if the handle's gross, no way. And I use those little cleaner sheets to clean my, oh yeah. So now you're shopping for grocery and simultaneously doing upper body strength training. No, I'm not fighting with it. Give me another cart. And why do we all pretend like we don't test drive the carts? I see you people doing it. They grab one, roll it, pause, reject it. Next one. We are all conducting inspections. Also, the grocery store itself. I have a route. I don't want somebody redesigning the grocery store. Why do stores do this? You walk in one day and suddenly they've moved the bread. Why? What happened? We had a system. You're standing there thinking, hmm. The bread's been here for eight years. Now it's next to pet food. And somehow you're supposed to just emotionally recover from this? Told you.

Parking Zones And Invisible Territory

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Parking's the next one. Let's talk about parking. I have areas where I like to park. Now let me tell you, parking becomes a whole new thing when you live downtown Chicago. When I do take my car out, I will only go somewhere that I know I can park. That is a fact. I need a parking lot. I am not parallel parking on the street. I have a couple places I do drive to that I know there's always street parking and it's easy. I will go there and I will street park. But let me tell you, if there's no parking, I'm Ubering. All right, so but if I do have to park, I am very particular. I don't necessarily want the closest spot. Sometimes the closest spot is too chaotic for me. People backing out, shopping carts, pedestrians, blah, blah, blah. I want a nice calm spot. Always want a calm spot. I always like to be near a cart return. I like one side of my car facing the cart return. Maybe near the exit. And once you find your preverred zone at a place you go regularly, that becomes your territory. Not officially. You have no legal claim to it, but you pull in and someone is parked in your spot and you think, well, that's interesting. Hmm. And again, we don't say anything. We're civilized, but apparently we all have invisible pro I can't say that word, invisible property lines in public parking lots. Don't act like you don't do it. Go ahead, don't.

Seat Ownership In Every Room

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Sitting in the same place. Now, this is amazing. At home, at church, at meetings, at restaurants, people have places. We are creatures of habit. You have your chair, your side of the couch, your side of the bed, maybe even your place at the kitchen table. Craig is the worst at all of this. Craig has his spot, and nobody better take it. And when somebody sits there, it feels strangely unsettling. Not wrong. It feels wrong to Craig. Just unsettling. Why are you there, you think? And you sit down somewhere else, the whole room feels different. I think this starts in childhood. Remember school, you picked a seat on the first day, and from then on, that was your seat. Nobody officially assigned it, but everybody knew. Same thing happens in exercise classes. Oh my God, in the pool, we all have our spots. Oh my gosh, it's insane. But you do. And if you've taken them and someone tries to take it, it's terrible. Happens at church and meetings. We all slowly create invisible seating charts. Don't say you don't. And I love that about people. We like familiarity. We like our little spots. Food

Food Rules Combos And Final Bites

SPEAKER_00 15:59

also has some rules. Peanut butter, smooth or crunchy. Toast, light or dark, eggs, soft, medium, scrambled, over easy. And don't even start with steak. People will explain steak temperature like they're presenting a dissertation. Then condiments. Do you do ketchup on fries? Because I'll tell you one place ketchup doesn't go on a Chicago hot dog. No surrey bomb. Do you put it on your fries? Fine. Ketchup on eggs? Ooh, that is a that's a hot topic. I love ketchup. I love ketchup, so I love ketchup on eggs. But the older I've gotten, I can't eat them without ketchup. But that's a hot topic, ketchup on eggs. It could destroy families. And everybody has one food combination they swear by. Do you want to know what mine is? I have a combination. So I love an Italian chopped salad. And I love a side of blue cheese and a side of Italian. And I mix it on my fork as I eat the salad. It's my favorite. And paisano's on State Street does it the best here in Chicago. Yep. That is my food combo. Do you have one? Thinking about some others. Then there's the order you eat things in. Some people save the best bite for last. I complete like, do you eat the center out of a cinnamon roll first or do you save it for last? I can remember when I was a kid once, I was saving it for mutt last, and my brother took it. I'm sure my brother doesn't remember that, but I do. Oh, you plan that final bite. You're eating dinner and mentally protecting it. This bite right there, that's the finale. And then somebody says, Are you gonna finish that? Excuse me? I've been emotionally preparing in my mind for that bite for about 11 minutes. Back away or I'll fork you. Yeah, I'm telling you. Somebody else eyes that really good bite.

Thermostats Hotels And Comfort Control

SPEAKER_00 18:00

Temperature. Can we talk about the temperature? Is it 68? Is it 70? Craig and I are always off temperatures. I don't know about you and your significant other. He's got it cold in here and wearing a jacket. I don't know. But maybe it's 68 or 72, whatever that number is, becomes a part of your identity. And heaven help the person who changes the thermostat. Oh stop it. Put it back up. Put it down. Who put this on 74? Like you've uncovered a conspiracy. Oh, and hotels are even worse because you walk into a hotel room and immediately become a heating and cooling expert. You adjust that thermostat like you are adjusting a nuclear bomb. Then you wait, nothing happens. Then you adjust it again. Eventually you press every button like you're trying to launch a nuclear bomb. Hotels should just have two buttons cold, not cold. That's all we need. Oh, here's a couple more things.

Restaurant Habits Menus And Noise Levels

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Restaurants. Sit near the kitchen away. Everybody's got their way to go to a restaurant. I'm telling you. I don't even want to get into it all, but you know your restaurant particularly. Do you like a booth? Do you like a table near the window, away from the kitchen? What kind of menus do you like? Do you like heavy menus, big menus, little menus? Do you like a QR code menu? I don't know. Some people study the menu ahead of time. I think that's brilliant. I don't do it. People arrive prepared. No surprises. I like surprises. Other people wait until they sit down and they read every single word, and then they have 14 questions. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there thinking, I knew what I was having yesterday. I don't eat a lot of different things. I kind of know what I'm having either a salad and salad and fries, soup and fries. If there's fries, I'm having them. Yesterday I had a Greek salad and fries. A good Greek salad with the olives, the feta, no lettuce. Still a little leery about lettuce. I need to lose another 10 pounds, but I don't know if I want to do it with explosive diarrhoea. So salad. No salad. You got me drift. Oh. That's a restaurant.

Shower Order And Towel Size Standards

SPEAKER_00 20:39

All right. Now the next one is I bet you didn't think you were particular about anything else. How about the shower? Everybody has a system. Shampoo first, then conditioner, body wash, face, whatever. There is an order, and it's your order. And if you accidentally mess up the order, it feels strangely wrong. You're halfway through and you think, wait, did I wash my hair? And towels matter too. Nothing worse than finishing a lovely shower and discovering someone has left you one towel approximately the size of a napkin. Nope. I need a bath sheet, and I have my way. I take my shower. Traveling's another

Travel Routines Seats And Headphones

SPEAKER_00 21:19

one. We all have our preferences. Airport timing. Do you like to get there early or do you like running onto that plane and almost missing it? Some people apparently joy sprinting. I do not. I do understand those people, however. Aisle seat, not an aisle seat. I'm an aisle seat girl. I want to be able to get up and go to the bathroom without disturbing anyone. But then I am kind of irritated when the person that has the window seat bothers me so they could go to the bathroom. I think if you thought you were going to have to go to the bathroom on this flight, why didn't you get an aisle seat? I think if you're at the window seat, you should stay there the whole flight. It's really what I think in my mind. Everybody has a travel routine. You walk in. Put the suitcase somewhere, check the bathroom, look out the window. Craig hasn't a very exhaustive he rearranges the furniture in a hotel room. Yep, he does. Sets up his desk. It's it's a whole thing. I'm not that particular about my hotel room. I have a few things I do, but I don't have the same system, let's just say, than Craig does. But do you? Do you have a travel system? I put my big giant headphones on, my noise counseling ones, but I want everybody to be aware I have headphones on. I don't care what you have to say, and I'm not gonna listen. I don't want to talk to anybody, including Craig. I don't like talking when I'm traveling. Headphones on, sometimes they're playing something, sometimes they're not. Sometimes I'm listening to a murder podcast thinking I just want to murder you. Sometimes I'm not. That's my thing. Definitely the headphones. There's things we do every single time. How's this?

Why Preferences Feel So Personal

SPEAKER_00 23:01

What I love about these little preferences is the most of them are completely harmless. They're just little ways we make life comfortable, familiar. Ours. We have routines, we have favorite things. We know what works for us. And somewhere along the way, I think we stop feeling like we need to defend it. You want the same coffee every morning, great. You sit in the same chair, fine. You have that favorite fork, use it. You like your diet coke in a very specific glass with a very specific amount of ice. I personally like fountain diet coke. I love me some McDonald's, some Chick-fil-A, and Circle K. And when I'm in Arizona, a QT. There is something kind of wonderful about knowing yourself that well. Things I'm not willing to compromise on, bad pillows, bad coffee, scratchy sheets. Not happening. A grocery shart with a dish shart, a grocery cart with one defective wheel, never again. Drinks without enough ice, not happening. All I can think of is why is somebody punishing me? A restaurant where I have to scream across the table, I do not enjoy. No, thank you. And maybe it sounds picky, but I actually think there's a difference between being difficult and knowing what you enjoy. What I enjoy should not make anybody else have a bad day. I'm particularly particular about what works for me, but I don't impose it on you. So being particular doesn't mean everything has to go your way. It just means you've lived long enough to know there's a difference between a good tell and a disappointing tell. That's wisdom. You can put that on a coffee mug. Think about what's yours. Think you're completely easygoing? I bet this podcast changed your mind. There is beauty in knowing about what you

Challenge Of The Week And Listener Emails

SPEAKER_00 25:06

like. I'm gonna give you a little challenge inside Marcy's mind challenge of the week. Pay attention to things you are weirdly particular about. Notice them. Did you hear I said particularly? Are you crazy about how people say words? Milk, milk, pillow, pillow. Particularly, particularly. Think about words. That one will make you crazy. Notice these things and laugh at yourself because I guarantee you will catch yourself doing something completely ridiculous. You'll be standing at the grocery store rejecting a shopping cart, and you'll go, oh, that Marcy is right. Are we folding a towel or switching forks? And suddenly you will think, oh, Marcy's got me. And then I want you to tell me. Send me your weird little preferences. You know my address, MarcyBacusmedia at gmail.com. Love to hear from you. In fact, we think we could probably do an entire follow-up episode with just the things you guys tell me. What do you refuse to compromise on? What has to be done your way? What completely irrational little thing matters way more to you than it probably should? Because I promise you are not alone.

Closing Thoughts And Subscribing

SPEAKER_00 26:22

All right, my friends. That's what's been rattling around inside Marcy's mind this week. Apparently, I have very strong opinions about forks, towels, grocery carts, pillows, and diet coke. And no, Pepsi is not okay. And you know what? I'm okay with that. Life is too short for the bad fork. Use the good one. Drink from your favorite glass, sit in your favorite chair, buy your favorite towels. And if somebody loads a dishwasher wrong well, maybe just quietly rearrange it and keep the peace. Thanks for hanging out with me today. If this episode made you laugh, send it to somebody who has a favorite fork and refuses to admit it. And make sure you follow or subscribe so we can keep having these conversations every week. Until next time, enjoy the little things. Embrace your weird little preferences. And I'll see you next time here on Inside Fork.