The Mystery Of Why We Keep Stuff

We get honest about why perfectly reasonable adults keep cords, bags, keys, and gadgets that don’t even match the life we actually live. We laugh at the “good bag” and the “gonna” pile, then land on a simple way to keep what matters without letting clutter run the house. 
• the cord drawer problem and why our brain insists we will need it Tuesday 
• the “good bag” turning into a bag museum 
• mystery keys, empty jars, buttons, and other high-drama tiny items 
• how sentimental objects hold real memory and deserve a different rule 
• the “imaginary future self” and aspirational clutter like bread makers and craft gear 
• guilt clutter from gifts and why the relationship is not inside the object 
• the real cost of stuff requiring attention, storage, and constant organizing 
So if you're curious, look over there. 
Just open one drawer, preferably that weird one. You know the one I'm talking about has one of everything. I want you to pick up one thing and ask, why am I keeping this? 

Transcript

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Welcome And The Stuff Question

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Well, hello everyone, and welcome to Inside Marcy's Mind. I am Marcy, and this is the podcast where we talk about life, usually the completely ordinary parts of life that turn out to be pretty funny most of the time. And when you actually stop and think about them, yeah, they're funny. And today I have a question. Why do we have so much stuff? More importantly, why can't you throw it away? But before we discuss my emotional attachment to gift bags and mystery electrical cords, I don't really have that, but you know what I mean. Let's catch up. Yeah, it's just been a little bit of a crazy week. Um, my husband had a stroke. He's fine. But trying to figure out what causes them is not an easy thing. So I'm gonna do a stroke episode about strokes on my other podcast, Aging Ain't for Sissy. So if you're curious, look over there. But today on Inside Marcy's Mind, we're gonna talk about why we keep so much crap. I'm good at getting rid of things.

Cords Gift Bags And Mystery Keys

SPEAKER_00 1:05

I've moved from a big house to a small thing. I love having less. But even I have certain things where apparently all rational thoughts leave my body. Clothes and shoes. Okay, that's the obviously one. That is for me. But for most people, it's the cord drawer. Now, when we moved, I threw out, or I gave away, I should say. If I say throw out, it usually means I gave it away. I gave away a big old Tupperware thing full of rubber made thing full of cords. And I haven't missed one of them. All right, you pick up a cord and think, what does this go to? Nobody knows. It could have charged a phone you owned in 2007. It could have been for the crock pot that you had. You know, it could have been for a camera, a salad. Who the heck knows? But you know you better save it because you never know what it went to. All right. Our brain says, keep that. You're gonna need it Tuesday. So back into that overstuffed drawer, it goes. All right. So this is something that happens to all of us. Now, it may happen to you in your 20s, but I'm telling you, anybody over 40 thinks this way. The good bag. Now, there are gift bags in shopping bags. I understand keeping a couple, that's practical. But eventually you're not recycling bags anymore. You're operating a bag museum. And there's always one that's apparently too nice to throw away. Oh no, that's the good bag. A good bag for what? What future event are we preparing this bag for? Excuse me, is the queen coming? Actually, I guess it would be the king now. Either way, I don't think he's coming over for a gift bag, but we're keeping it because guess what? It's the good one. Oh my god, that's insane. The mystery key, that key, that key that you have no idea where it goes, or that random piece of ribbon, a teeny tiny screwdriver. This became an obsession of mine before we moved. I don't have room to do anymore, but empty jars. This is a good jar versus a bad jar. I don't know. But I started, I had tons of room. I started keeping jars, threw them all out when we moved. All right. Buttons. Now, I'm a button hoarder because it pays off. That's all I can say. And I have room for buttons. And again, there's that mystery key. Everybody has a mystery key. You don't know what it opens, whatever it opened may not even exist anymore, but throwing away a key feels extremely dangerous because keys open things. So we keep it. Then someday our kids are going to find it and say, What does this key go to? And the answer will be the same. Nobody's known since 1965.

When Objects Hold Real Memories

SPEAKER_00 4:12

But some stuff really does matter. So then we freak out because we don't know what matters and what doesn't. But there are things that matter. So I want you to think about that. Some sometimes things can be completely worthless and completely priceless. An old recipe card, a Christmas ornament your kid made, a photograph, a note somebody wrote you, something that belonged to someone you loved. You picked it up and suddenly you're somewhere else. You're in your grandmother's kitchen and she's cooking something off that fabulous recipe card. You're on a family vacation or you're holding your baby. You remember somebody you haven't thought about in years. And that stuff I understand. Objects can hold memories. So maybe the question isn't why do I have so much stuff? Maybe it's why am I keeping this? Because sometimes the answer is really important. And sometimes the answer is, I have no idea. There's this other thing for a lot of people. I am the person who keeps things neat and organized, but maybe you're the person that thinks, oh. Things we keep for our imaginary future selves. The kitchen gadget for the elaborate cooking, we're going to start doing. The cake decorating because you're going to be a cake decorator. Craft supplies because you're going to be a crafter. Exercise equipment for the exercising you're going to be doing. The I'm gonna pile is what I call this. Books we're definitely gonna read. Beautiful

Future You Clutter And Gift Guilt

SPEAKER_00 5:55

notebook we're gonna write in. It's the gonna stuff. We aren't just sorting stuff. We're sorting possible versions of ourselves. Someday I'm gonna make homemade bread. Some days I'm gonna scrapbook. Someday I'm gonna organize all these photographs. Maybe. But at some point, I think we're allowed to admit apparently I'm not going to become a person who makes homemade bread. And that's okay. You brought a bread maker, you made two loaves in 2014. Set the bread maker free. Set it free. This may be the hardest category, the guilt category. Things people gave us. Because somehow getting rid of a gift makes it hard. It's not for me, but it might be for you. You feel like you're getting rid of the person. You're not. Someone can love you very much and still give you an absolutely hideous vase. Both things can be true. You can love the person, you can appreciate the thought, and you can take the vase to the goodwill. The relationship you have with the person is not inside that vase. And if it is, that's one hell of a vase. You're gonna start thinking about what you want around you. I want things that I love, things that I use. And when we moved, that made it really easy. Since there's such a finite amount of space, that's all I can have is things that bring me joy. So look around you. Are you are you surrounded by things that bring you joy or junk that you think brings you joy? Think about it. But there comes a point when your stuff requires an awful lot of your attention. You have to clean it, move it, store it, organize it, buy containers, pay for it to be stored, then buy shelves with more containers. And at some point you have to wonder who's in charge here, me or my stuff. That's a really good question to ask yourself. Who's in charge? You or your stuff? I'm not gonna make this a belabored episode. It's actually a rather short episode, but I'm giving you a challenge. I'm not gonna tell you to clean out your house. Good Lord, nobody wants homework from a podcast. Just open one drawer, preferably

Who Is In Charge Here

SPEAKER_00 8:10

that weird one. You know the one I'm talking about has one of everything. I want you to pick up one thing and ask, why am I keeping this? If their answer is I love it, keep it. It reminds me of someone, keep it. I use it, keep it. If the answer is I have no idea what this is or why I have it, it's time to throw it away. You're not gonna need it Tuesday. Let it go. All right, that's your assignment for this week. Not a lot in my mind this week, but I think it was kind of an important episode. Just kind of to touch on. I want you to start thinking. I've I've given you organizing episodes, I've given you all that, but I think this one hits a little differently. This is give yourself some grace, but get rid of your shit. That's what's in my mind this week. Some stuff is useful, some stuff holds memory, some stuff makes us happy, and some stuff has apparently been living with us rent-free since 1998. Maybe it's time for eviction. Thanks for hanging out with me. I love that we get to spend a little time every week talking about completely ordinary things that make life funny. Have a wonderful week. Notice the little things, laugh wherever you can, and if you finally figure out where that key goes, open it. Also let the rest of us go. I'll see you next time on this five mark.