The Demon's Dance

In this hilariously twisted episode of Tales of Bedlam, your hosts Micah and Dustin dive headfirst into Slavic folklore with The Demon’s Dance, a Polish tale packed with chaos, demons, and questionable life choices. When a whirlwind reveals itself to be a dancing demon, a bold peasant sees an opportunity to get rich by sacrificing his soul for gold, bacon, and a keg of brandy. Sounds fair, right?

Along the way, Micah and Dustin explore the deeper (or maybe not-so-deep) meanings behind holy knives, dry eddies, potato holes full of gold, and why you should always keep a silver button handy. Expect plenty of off-the-rails humor, food talk, and a finale that leaves you wondering, “Wait… what was the moral of that story?”

Whether you're here for the folklore, the folklore-adjacent banter, or to find out what brandy bacon tastes like, The Demon’s Dance is a weird, wild ride you won't forget.

This episode is actually a replay from 2019-2021; please ignore any announcements during the episode.

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Transcript

Slavic Folklore Demon's Dance

Micah (Knob Twister) 0:05

Welcome to Tales of Bedlam . I'm your host , knob Twister . Today we have another tale from Slavic folklore in our deep dive .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 0:17

Sweet , why'd we stop ?

Micah (Knob Twister) 0:20

I don't know . Oh , our deep dive into Polish sausages . I love polish sausages . This encompasses the folklore of slavic peoples found in russia , ukraine , poland , bulgaria , serbia a bunch of different places today's tale is the demon's dance the's Dance and apparently this is Polish . It says right on my paper . I love Polish sausage .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 0:50

Sausage .

Micah (Knob Twister) 0:52

Dustin , will you please start ?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 0:56

I guess I will . You like that , don't you no . No , you like that , don't you no .

Micah (Knob Twister) 1:09

You're just making snacks that I'm going to have to edit out . Okay , I'm starting .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 1:15

When the wind throws the dust up in the air and whirls it around in a dry eddy , it shows the dance of an evil spirit Interesting .

Micah (Knob Twister) 1:27

Do you know what a dry Eddie is ?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 1:29

Yeah , it's like a little tornado .

Micah (Knob Twister) 1:32

Well , I just had to bring this up because the urban dictionary no , you Googled that . No , I've heard this before . So a dry Eddie is actually the opposite of a wet Willie .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 1:51

Do you know what the opposite of a wet Willie is Dustin what they drag something dry out of your ear .

Micah (Knob Twister) 1:55

Would you like me ?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 1:55

to show you no , if you touch my ear . I'll punch your face .

Micah (Knob Twister) 1:59

Well , it won't have anything to do with your ear . See , I'm supposed to stick my finger in my ear and pull out some earwax and quickly shove it into your mouth . That's a dry Eddie this conversation is over .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 2:13

What the H-E double hockey sticks ?

Micah (Knob Twister) 2:17

Whenever you see this , shut up at once all the doors and windows in your hut , or it will certainly do some mischief to your bones .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 2:28

Put your finger anywhere near my face , I'm going to do mischief to your bones . Yep .

Micah (Knob Twister) 2:31

Mischief .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 2:33

If , however , you are courageous and wish to obtain riches at the sacrifice of your soul , I'm going to have to go ahead and say no .

Micah (Knob Twister) 2:41

Why do you always have to give your soul up for this stuff ?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 2:44

It's what it is , man , it's the most valuable thing .

Micah (Knob Twister) 2:47

Couldn't you just give up a hangnail ?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 2:50

Who wants a hangnail ? I don't know . It's your soul , your eternal soul . Why is that so ?

Micah (Knob Twister) 2:58

valuable , priceless .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 3:02

Yeah , you've lost me . You wish to obtain riches at the sacrifice of your soul . Take a new knife , an old knife , a new knife that has been sprinkled with holy water . How do you put holes in water and throw it dexterously into the very middle of the whirlwind ? Sounds like a very bad plan .

Micah (Knob Twister) 3:25

And throw it dexterously into the very middle of the whirlwind Sounds like a very bad plan . One day , a fearless young peasant , angry with the demon who , in the shape of a hurricane , had blown off the roof of his barn , took up a new consecrated knife because I'm always keeping those around my person and stuck it in the ground in the very center of the dust . Eddy .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 3:50

That's not what the instructions said to do .

Micah (Knob Twister) 3:57

It said to chuck it very dexterously in the middle of it . He did .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 3:59

He hit the very middle . It said he stuck it in the ground . Oh , you think he threw it and then it stuck in the ground . Yeah , oh , I'm envisioning him standing there and he's stabbing it in the ground . Oh , oh , right , in a moment the demon appeared bent double , as if suffering in great pain and trembling with fear . He asks the peasant what he wanted with him . Mend , my barn , cried the man in great fury .

Micah (Knob Twister) 4:27

Fill up my . He wanted with him Mend , my barn , cried the man in great fury . Fill up my potato hole with gold , which is better than potatoes .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 4:32

Fill up my potato hole with gold . Is that like a pie hole ? Then bring to my hut a keg of brandy and three sides of bacon . Yeah , buddy , he's got it going on .

Micah (Knob Twister) 4:46

Brandy bacon have you ? Ever had brandy bacon . I have . I've drank brandy and ate bacon .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 4:57

Does that count ?

Micah (Knob Twister) 4:58

It's bacon that has been marinated in brown sugar and brandy and then cooked .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 5:02

It sounds amazing to me .

Micah (Knob Twister) 5:04

It's good stuff , I'd eat it . I will do it . All answered the demon , but first take the knife out of the ground . It hurts me cruelly .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 5:14

Too bad . No , cried the peasant First . Do what I tell you oh the obedience spirit . Finally , someone had some sense . Yeah , the obedience spirit did all that was demanded of him . Sometime after this , the young peasant fell sick .

Micah (Knob Twister) 5:32

Yeah , from all that cheap brandy .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 5:35

Clogged up his arteries with the bacon . Yep Drank the brandy .

Micah (Knob Twister) 5:39

Should have asked for salad and tomatoes . As he was about to die , his friends , who were gathered around him , saw the demon standing at the head of the bed waiting for his soul . How does that work ? Does the demon just ?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 5:58

like .

Micah (Knob Twister) 5:58

Scott Exciton Suck it up like a whippet or something . Did you say whippet ? Yeah , did you just reference like a 70s drug culture well , he's standing over the bed just waiting for the soul to float up and he just like maybe he's got a little , uh , a little hand back like ghost Ghostbusters sucks it out . What were those called the Dust Devils ? Yeah , the Dust Devils . There you go , and it's a devil .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 6:33

And then he just keeps it with him .

Micah (Knob Twister) 6:36

Maybe there's more to that name than we think .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 6:38

That's why I don't use the things . So he's there waiting to die , and so they all saw the demon .

Micah (Knob Twister) 6:45

Yes , waiting for his soul .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 6:48

They all lamented his miserable fate and his godfather said I wish I could do a good godfather impression . I don't have to think about it for a minute . It's okay , I can edit it out . You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding . He'd come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding . If , instead of asking for money , he shot the demon with a silver bullet , he would have lived to be an old man and have saved his soul .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 7:19

Except you read that wrong . No , I didn't . Really . If , instead of asking for money , he had shot the demon with a silver bullet , he would have lived . Try again . Oh my god . Yeah , instead of asking for money , he had shot the demon with a silver button . However , you do that , he would have lived to be an old man and have saved his soul . Is that the end of it ? Yeah , what ?

Micah (Knob Twister) 7:52

they thought that if they loaded like a shotgun or a blunder blaster what are they called blunder blasters or something blunderbuss , blunderbust , apologize with like a silver button that it would be able to kill a bulletproof witch or demon .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 8:10

Or werewolf .

Micah (Knob Twister) 8:12

Yeah , Silver bullet right , yep .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 8:14

Huh . Well , that's advice came a little late . Where was the godfather prior prior ? I don't know , but this story doesn't make any sense shooting gangsters is the moral of the story keep a silver button and a blunderbuss around I think the moral of the story is to leave .

Micah (Knob Twister) 8:41

Leave the demons alone alone .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 8:43

Well , he got a potato hole full of gold .

Micah (Knob Twister) 8:46

But he died , it's true . I wonder if he got to spend any of it .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 8:52

I wonder if there's something lost in the translation , because that just didn't seem like it meant anything at all . It really didn't .

Micah (Knob Twister) 8:59

A lot of the folklore tales that we read don't seem to have a deeper meaning .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 9:06

That's true , but this one didn't even really make sense . The first part's more like a story .

Micah (Knob Twister) 9:13

Maybe it's a greed thing , because the godfather said instead of asking for money .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 9:19

Oh , he should have just shot him .

Micah (Knob Twister) 9:22

Mm-hmm . What if he didn't have a blunderbuss and he couldn't have shot him ? Maybe he was all out of silver buttons because he was so poor ?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 9:32

No , he had a potato hole full of gold .

Micah (Knob Twister) 9:35

That was before he asked the demon for the gold .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 9:40

Did he ever take the knife out of the ground ? Apparently , he just left the knife in the ground .

Micah (Knob Twister) 9:46

Well , he had . Yeah , because he said he'd take the knife out after the demon filled the potato hole .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 9:52

That's when you should have brought the silver button .

Micah (Knob Twister) 9:54

That's when you should have shot him .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 9:57

We're getting it figured out now . We found the loophole . Make the deal with the devil , then shoot him with the silver button .

Micah (Knob Twister) 10:05

And then kill the devil .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 10:07

I don't know . I don't even know what's going on .

Micah (Knob Twister) 10:12

That sounds to be an impossible task . You would have to ask John Wick to come help you .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 10:18

I'm going to have to get a holy knife and start chucking it at whirlwinds .

Micah (Knob Twister) 10:25

I think you'd do better with the donkeys .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 10:32

I'll chuck it at donkeys too .

Micah (Knob Twister) 10:34

All right , good night , bye . Oh wait , we were supposed to say all the other stuff . Oh , the other stuff . Yeah , there's friends and family

Podcast Promotion and T-Shirt Ideas

Micah (Knob Twister) 10:39

.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 10:39

If you're enjoying our podcast , please reach out to your friends and family and tell them how to uh , how to look up and listen , how to listen and look us up .

Micah (Knob Twister) 10:50

Yeah , you can find this on any way that you might listen to podcasts .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 10:55

It's everywhere .

Micah (Knob Twister) 10:56

Stitcher Google podcast or Apple podcast .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 11:01

Why was Apple last ?

Micah (Knob Twister) 11:03

Cause you're a hater is why that's right , or our website at talesofbedlamcom . And if you'd like to help us even more , you can always go to our website and purchase some swag . That way , you can become a walking billboard for us .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 11:19

Swag . Good night Bye that was weird .

Micah (Knob Twister) 11:36

That one , I don't know , I guess that one went . I thought that was cooler when I first um gone through it . But but , it didn't quite that . One's probably going to be a bonus anyway because it's so short .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 11:54

It was just weird . It was a weird story . It's a page long and it switched gears three times .

Micah (Knob Twister) 12:04

How does that ?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 12:06

even work Good story writing . It started out like a Native American tale .

Micah (Knob Twister) 12:12

Yeah .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 12:12

Kind of given background and then all of a sudden there's action , uh-huh .

Micah (Knob Twister) 12:17

With the peasant .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 12:19

And then he's just dead .

Micah (Knob Twister) 12:20

In an empty potato hole . That sounds bad .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 12:24

I'm in my barn Missing my potatoes . I make a t-shirt . I'm in my barn Missing my potatoes . That'd make a good t-shirt . I'm in my barn , people ask .

Micah (Knob Twister) 12:34

I need some bacon . What's that mean , brandy ?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) 12:37

I'm in my barn . What's that mean ? Mend it , you can , uh ooh . Another good shirt would be uh Dry Eddie Sicko .