Murders to Music: Crime Scene to Music Scene (Streamline Events and Entertainment)
Come on a ride along with a Veteran Homicide Detective as the twists and turns of the job suddenly end his career and nearly his life; discover how something wonderful is born out of the Darkness. Embark on the journey from helping people on their worst days, to bringing life, excitement and smiles on their best days.
Murders to Music: Crime Scene to Music Scene (Streamline Events and Entertainment)
Easter Sunday: The Bad, The Good, The Beautiful...The Au gratin Potatoes
What a difference a year makes. From throwing furniture in rage to peaceful family photos, Aaron's journey between two consecutive Easters reveals a profound transformation that speaks to anyone wrestling with mental health, relationships, or spiritual identity.
Aaron pulls back the curtain on his darkest Easter Sunday—a day that began with resentment toward his church community where he once felt at home. Years of perceived slights as a longtime worship drummer had culminated in a toxic blend of entitlement and anger. The worship service that should have brought comfort instead triggered overwhelming rage, causing him to flee the sanctuary in tears. But the worst was yet to come. A simple miscommunication about au gratin potatoes later that day escalated into what Aaron describes as the most devastating argument in his 25-year marriage—complete with thrown objects, pushed furniture, and hours of tearful aftermath. The breaking point came when his 14-year-old daughter found him crying by the fire pit and offered to pray over her father—a humbling reversal that marked the beginning of healing.
Fast forward one year, and the contrast couldn't be more striking. Aaron describes waking up excited for church, holding his wife's hand during service, taking family photos, and enjoying games and meals together—all without the anxiety and resentment that had previously consumed him. Through therapy, proper medication, and deliberate spiritual reconnection, he confronted the pride that had blinded him. The podcast itself became part of his healing journey, giving him space to process his experiences while potentially helping others facing similar struggles.
This episode isn't just about religious experience or mental health—it's about the universal human journey of recognizing when we're the source of our own suffering. Aaron's vulnerability in sharing how he discovered that looking inward rather than blaming others was the key to his transformation offers a powerful reminder that healing is possible, even from our darkest moments. Have you experienced a similar transformation in your life? Share your story and join the conversation that's helping so many feel less alone in their struggles.
Gift For You!!! Murders to Music will be releasing "SNAPSHOTS" periodcally to keep you entertained throughout the week! Snapshots will be short, concise bonus episodes containing funny stories, tid bits of brilliance and magical moments!!! Give them a listen and keep up on the tea!
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well what is going on murders, murders to Music fans. My name is Aaron, I'm your host and thank you guys so much for coming back for yet one more week. So on tonight's episode, I want to take you back to Easter of last year, and I did an episode on this last year when it was fresh in my mind. Easter it's a time to come together with family and friends. It's a time to be thankful for what God did. It's a time to reflect upon where we are and the happiness that we have surrounding us. That's not what Easter of 2024 was like.
Speaker 2:Easter of 2024 for me, it started off in the morning, getting up and getting dressed to go to church, and if you've been listening for more than a minute, you know that I've had some struggles with the church. You know the last six, eight months has been okay, but prior to that I was having some really hard times and almost separating from the church and walling off and resisting against them. That's where I was. So you know I'm getting ready to go to church that morning on Easter. I'm getting up, I get dressed, I think I get dressed up, I might put on a suit or something and the family is going to go out. Mentally I'm in a rough place. Mentally I don't like myself. I got some depression going on. I'm feeling lots of anxiety in life. That morning when I woke up, I remember thinking the last freaking thing I want to do is go to this church and be around people. So I'm already going into it with a really good attitude. So I go to church and we sit there in the back corner, where we always sit, in the back corner, where we always sit, and that's when it began. The music starts playing, they start into the service and usually that is the part that I just like eat up and love.
Speaker 2:But on this Sunday it was different. This Sunday I was angry, I was pissed, I was mad. I was mad at the person leading worship on the stage because I felt that I had been slighted by them. I was mad because the church, I felt, had wronged me over the past year and abandoned me and left me when I was in a time of need. I was mad because I felt like I wasn't valued. What I had given to the church over the last five, 10 years was not valued and I wasn't cared for by the church and it really hurt. That was my frustration.
Speaker 2:As I sat there, I looked around and I see all these other families and you know, if you've ever had the experience of going to church, some of the some of the biggest fights that people have is like on the way to church, right, and if you've been around church for a minute you grew up going to church you probably remember seeing your parents fight in the car. So I'm sitting there at church and I look around at all these people that look like they're happy and for me, the rage and the frustration was more than I could bear. I remember feeling the walls of this building closing in on me. I remember thinking this is not my home. This is not where the place that it used to be. This used to be a safe haven and a refuge for me, and not anymore. Now this is a place that I hate being. I don't know if I hate corporate church, but I hate this one. I'm so angry. I hate that guy, I hate the system and I've got to get out of here.
Speaker 2:And I was sitting next to Stace and I said, hey, I can't sit in here, I got to go. So I step outside and I go down to the vestibule and I'm sitting there at one of the roundtables and I think I'm crying and you know, somebody walks by. One of the leaders walks by. That I actually kind of had a beef with at the time. He was part of the problem, at least that's how I saw it and he sat down. He's like Aaron, everything okay. And I'm like no, it's not okay. He's like well, what's going on? I said I hate this place, I'm not fond of you, I don't, I hate so-and-so. You know it's a lot of hate for church, right? And uh, I said this is how you guys have done me wrong, this is how you're not taking care of me, this is how I feel abandoned, all of these things. So I go through all of this with him.
Speaker 2:So once I've gone through all of this with him, I uh, you know somebody else walks out and sits down and happens to be the drummer of the day, out and sits down and happens to be the drummer of the day. And that guy actually, I have a problem with, because I feel like he took my place. He, where I used to play. He's now stepping in and he's not. He doesn't even go to our church. He like he used to go to our church and now he just kind of stops into play. Well, why would they use him when they can use me? Because I'm sitting here and I give everything to this church and now they're bringing in some outsider, some hired gun, to play drums. I mean, absolutely absurd is my mindset. You see, I grew up I didn't grow up for the last 20 something years I've been playing drums in church and I've been a pretty integral part of the church system and I've always been involved in sounding, sound, lighting AV and playing drums.
Speaker 2:And we got a new music pastor and that new music pastor, younger guy, instead of using me he chose to use other people and literally wrote me out of the schedule and off the schedule and that hurt my feelings and I felt like man. All the blood, sweat and tears I put in was for naught. I'm not even valued. So I explain all of this. And uh, you know he's Aaron. He said Aaron, I don't think it's that way, man, he's like you know, I think. I think that whatever we're going through, we can get through and we get past this and you can find this place home again. I'm like dude, I don't think so. So as the day leaves, we leave church, he and I agree to disagree when I leave and I'm like maybe we'll talk about it in the future and then we go home.
Speaker 2:So my day has started off bad. Then it got worse at church. Now we go home and we go to a friend's house to eat. We have a meal. I'm all anxious, I'm asked up, I'm spun up. I don't want to be there. I'm hating life. Maybe you've experienced these feelings in your own world. Come back to our house, and that is when the algraten potatoes get set on the counter and the oven gets turned on.
Speaker 2:That may not sound like much, but that was the catalyst for the worst argument that Stacy and I have had in at that time 25 years of marriage. It was a miscommunication. It was just a miscommunication. But me it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Okay, for me. It set me off the edge. I threw a complete temper tantrum. I yelled, I swore, I screamed, I threw things. I pushed her island across the room. I absolutely lost my mind. I yelled at Stacy. She yelled back, she went to her room. She didn't talk to me the rest of the night and then I sat on the couch by myself because of this environment that I've put myself in and I sat there and I cried and I cried.
Speaker 2:This argument started at about 4 pm and I cried until about 9 pm and at that point that's when I went upstairs to bed and at that point, that's when I went upstairs to bed and I laid down in bed and I cried more and we tried to talk and it didn't go anywhere. And I'm crying because my world is so screwed up and I realize at this point that I'm the problem. This got out of hand because of me and my reaction to a situation. I'm embarrassed, I'm ashamed, I'm hurt. I'm sad that I hurt my wife. I'm sad that my kids had to listen to this and witness what I did. I am embarrassed. I literally hate myself in this moment.
Speaker 2:So I get up and go outside and when I go outside I go out and my daughter has started the fire pit in the front yard. She's got some wood going and some wood burning and she's sitting out there by herself and I sat down and I'm still crying and Addie and I my daughter we have a really good relationship. She said you okay, dad, I'm like, I'm not baby girl. I said I'm not. I said I don't know what's wrong with me. I said you know I was totally out of line. You know you should have never witnessed this and she's like Dad. You know Mom loves you and she forgives you and we forgive you. Can I pray with you? And my daughter came over and sat on my lap and just put her arm around me and prayed for me on my lap. And just put her arm around me and prayed for me, and it's really humbling, as a 46-year-old man, to be getting counseled and prayed for by your 15-year-old daughter 14 years old at that time, I think and it was super, super humbling that Easter Sunday turned into hell on earth. For me, it's a day that I will never forget. It's a day that impacted me for a long time and it's a day that I did damage to my relationships and I needed to figure something out. Now we're going to jump to Easter of 2025.
Speaker 2:This Easter, I get up, I'm excited, I get dressed, we're going to go to church. I go to church, I'm happy, I sit in the back, I don't have any anxiety, my leg's not going 100 miles an hour, the walls aren't caving in, I actually hold Stacy's hand, which you're allowed to do in some churches and ours you are. So actually hold Stacy's hand, which you're allowed to do in some churches and ours you are. So I held Stacy's hand. We did the service. It was great. We got done. We took some family pictures, because there was no family pictures in 2024. So we took some family pictures.
Speaker 2:We went home, I made biscuits and gravy. We had the kids, their girlfriends, over, the Addie's little girlfriend, not that kind of girlfriend, just like a girl, that's a friend, you know. So they all come over, we hang out, we eat. It was awesome. We sat around, we played games, we went outside, we had a fire pit. The whole thing was just awesome. By the end of the night, just awesome. By the end of the night, I'm thinking to myself man, this has been a great day. It's been an awesome family day.
Speaker 2:And remember, last year I even mentioned to Stacey. I'm like, hey, stace, did you get the au gratin potatoes? She's like, uh well, those aren't allowed in our house anymore, or something like that. So, um, you know, as I sat there at the end of the night and I laid in bed and I just I didn't say anything to states, but I just laid there and thought I'm like man.
Speaker 2:Last year was hell on earth. This year was amazing. What has changed over that year? And it's pretty easy to say there's a bunch of therapy sessions, correct dose of medication, just involved in church. Again, those are all pretty easy things, but I think what really and those things contribute?
Speaker 2:But I think for me, what really impacted it was taking over the last year, taking a strong, hard look inward, shedding some of the pride, shedding some of the shame and guilt and the feelings of being abandoned and just owning life, making the choice and the decision to be good and happy in the place that I am. You know my revealing pride episode. That was huge because it really identified the problems I was having with the church and those people that I said I hated. I didn't hate them, I was frustrated in the moment and it was an emotional response. The church itself, the four walls, the place that I didn't feel safe. Hindsight being 20, 20, all of that was me. All of that was me not being secure in myself, being that would be insecure and pride, thinking the world owed me something.
Speaker 2:Do you know who I am? I've been playing music here for 10 years. How dare you not use me. I am owed and I deserve to be a part of this. Well, I don't Do. You know who I am? I served my people. I did death scenes. I did this. I did that. I deserve to have a better life? I don't. God doesn't make those promises. Those aren't promises that he makes. You know, and it took my realization and recognition that a lot of these issues are me Even this last week choosing, you know, in my last episode, the power of choice.
Speaker 2:You know, if I choose to be good where I am and I choose to be happy and see the positive things around me, then I can see, once I've chosen that and I'm in a good headspace, then I can see how the gifts that I've been given can impact those around me and I can give back and share those things, you know. But if all I'm looking at is a negative attitude I'm owed, I'm owed, I'm owed then there's no room to give. And it took me changing my perspective over the last year to find a better and a happier place. And I'm not out of the woods y'all, I'm not. Y'all is a Southern term for you guys. I'm not out of the woods y'all. And I did live in the South. I didn't live, I visited the South Louisiana a bunch. So if you spend more than 15 hours in Louisiana, you can officially use the word y'all. So that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:So, you know, the choice of giving back and the choice of using your gifts or my gifts to give to others, instead of always looking for a handout, has really changed my perspective. Shedding the pride, shedding the. Do you know who I am? Big head. I've been on television a bunch, you know. Oh, no, I haven't. I've been on there like two or three times. Big deal, you know there's. It's just, I always made it up to be bigger than it was and that is a thing I think that has changed over the last year.
Speaker 2:You know, and right now I feel like I'm being called to start giving back and to start, you know, digging deeper into the Bible and digging deeper into my faith, and you know this is not a faith-based podcast, but I'm definitely not going to hide from it, right, and I just. For me, that has always been a constant thread and if you've been around for a minute, you've seen me push it away and at times I've felt so distanced from it. But now I feel like I'm being pulled back and it's kind of a cool feeling. You know this, last Sunday, easter Sunday, american Idol I don't know if you guys ever watched that or not, but American Idol, you know, I can't even hear the music for American Idol, like the intro music, without crying, for some reason.
Speaker 2:When I see those kids and those people playing music and living out their dreams and it's not their sappy stories, because everybody's got a story it's not that, it's the music. The music moves me, it grabs me in a certain way and just shakes the tears right out of my eyeballs. And there's nothing wrong with it. Back when I was a cop, I was always hesitant and scared to cry or scared to show emotions, and I wouldn't. I would shut them down, I would turn them off and I was just cold and stoic and that was a survival mechanism. Now that I'm out and I've went through a lot of therapy and got a lot of help and learned more and got an active nervous system, now if the wind changes direction, I start crying. You know, I cry as often as people in Portland protest for no reason. It's just something that happens within me and it's okay. That's okay and I've learned that. So the American Idol. That's where I was going.
Speaker 2:American Idol this last Sunday was songs of faith, and I'm listening to 20 people sing songs of faith. Most of them were Christian songs, a couple were not, but they had a faith-based connection that the singer brought to it. But to hear that music on national television for me was amazing. It's what I believe. You don't have to believe it, and that's totally cool, right, because hopefully you'll get something else out of this episode besides this conversation about American Idol. But to hear the music on national television I thought was pretty awesome. It's something that shocked my conscience, to be quite frank.
Speaker 2:And then Carrie Underwood sang how Great Thou Art at the end as the final song, and she didn't sing an abridged version. She didn't cut out lyrics, sing only the verses. She sang the entire song and when she did so, the entire crowd rose to their feet. Hands were in the air. It was a literal church service on American Idol. Maybe that's not your thing. Totally cool, I still love you. For me it was amazing and I was bawling. I Don't think I'd have been bawling last Easter. I don't think that's where my heart would have been.
Speaker 2:You know, doing this podcast over the last year is also something that has helped me considerably to talk through these things, to talk about different situations, good days and bad days, to get your guys' feedback and input in the emails and the text messages and the fan mail and the reviews and my listener count constantly going up. All of that stuff has been super beneficial. But it's also been helpful for me to tell my story, just like my therapist asked me two weeks ago why do you do your podcast. Well, I do it because I want others to be able to gleam something off of the pain that I've been through not experience it and maybe help somebody that's in the same position. I just want to help others out there, people that I don't know. That's why I do this and that is the power behind what you're listening to right now.
Speaker 2:The power behind this is some guy you may have never met has been on the edges. He's been suicidal and fighting church, fighting religion, back and forth, and you're like man, this is a fricking yo-yo. You're back and forth, you don't know where you're going, heads or tails. This guy's fricking crazy. Well, maybe I am, but at the end of the day, this is the kind of crazy that a lot of us go through in life. There's just so many people who are scared to talk about it and admit their fears, their weaknesses, their doubts, their insecurities, and I was, too, for such a long time, and I think now I'm an open book. I don't think there's a whole lot that I'm not talking about or telling right now, you know, and it's just.
Speaker 2:It's been super helpful for me, it's been great for me to get this off my chest and to you know, hopefully help people along the way, and maybe I'll never know, maybe I will never truly know the impact that it's had or vice versa. Maybe what I'm meaning saying doesn't. It doesn't mean anything and I'm not helping anybody, but as long as I continue to have listeners, I'll continue to put this out. You know, this Easter stark contrast from last Easter it's okay to have the bad days for me. It's okay for me, it was okay for me to have that bad Easter last year because it gave me something measurable to compare and contrast to for this Easter of 2025. And it allowed me. It was my barometer, it showed me the progress that had been made over the last year and it was pretty freaking amazing.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know what you got out of this. Maybe you just heard a story about Easter's and you know what the Easter bunny actually does not lay Cadbury eggs, which I found out it doesn't. Bunnies don't even lay eggs. I would love to dig into the origin of how the Easter bunny became this animal that was pooping out eggs filled with sweet cream, sauce or caramel. I don't understand the connection there. Why wasn't it the Easter chicken or something? I don't know. I don't get it. I want to dig into it. I'm going to do a little research, but I learned that and it was well. It should have made sense a long time ago. It just didn't. Anyway, I don't know if you got anything out of this or not, but I really love you guys and I thank you guys for listening and allowing me to share and allowing me to reflect on my own. Look inward instead of outward, which I think is where the true healing can be. Ladies and gentlemen, that is a Murders to Music podcast.
Speaker 1:How great thou art, how great thou art. Then sings my soul, my Savior, god to thee, how great thou art, how great thou art. And when I think that God, his son, not sparing, sent him to die, I scarce can take it in that, on the cross, my burden gladly bearing and gladly bearing, he bled and died To take away my sin, then sings my soul, my Savior, god to Thee, how great Thou art, how great Thou art. Then sings my soul, my Savior, god to Thee, how great Thou art, how great Thou art. When Christ shall come With shout of acclamation and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart. Then I shall bow In humble adoration and then proclaim my God, how great Thou art. Then sings my soul, my Savior, god to Thee, how great Thou art, how great Thou art. Then sings my soul, my Savior, god to Thee, how great Thou art, how great Thou art, how great Thou art. Thank you.
