Murders to Music: Crime Scene to Music Scene (Streamline Events and Entertainment)
Come on a ride along with a Veteran Homicide Detective as the twists and turns of the job suddenly end his career and nearly his life; discover how something wonderful is born out of the Darkness. Embark on the journey from helping people on their worst days, to bringing life, excitement and smiles on their best days.
Murders to Music: Crime Scene to Music Scene (Streamline Events and Entertainment)
No Man Fights Alone: Mighty Oaks
My journey began with reluctant recognition during a workers' comp interview, listing traumatic incident after traumatic incident from my career. That moment of clarity was both devastating and liberating: I wasn't weak—I was wounded. But wounds can heal with the right treatment. Through trial and error, I discovered two transformative programs that approached trauma recovery from complementary angles. The First Responder Resiliency program offered scientific understanding of how trauma rewires the brain, teaching practical techniques to rebuild healthy neural pathways. Meanwhile, the Mighty Oaks program provided something equally powerful: brotherhood and faith-based healing among peers who truly understood the unique challenges first responders face.
The most powerful revelation came in reframing my understanding of what I was experiencing. Post-traumatic stress doesn't have to be a disorder. It doesn't have to be permanent. When surrounded by "cornermen"—fellow officers and veterans who've walked similar paths—the 3AM demons that whisper "you're alone" lose their power. Through vulnerability with trusted peers and reconnecting with faith, a path forward emerges from the darkness. For those still suffering in silence, know this: no man fights alone. There are programs ready to meet you exactly where you are, without judgment, ready to help you reclaim your life after the badge.
If you're a first responder or military veteran struggling with PTS, or know someone who is, visit MightyOaksPrograms.org to learn about their free, scholarship-funded programs designed specifically for our communities. Healing is possible.
Gift For You!!! Murders to Music will be releasing "SNAPSHOTS" periodcally to keep you entertained throughout the week! Snapshots will be short, concise bonus episodes containing funny stories, tid bits of brilliance and magical moments!!! Give them a listen and keep up on the tea!
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Murders to Music podcast. My name is Aaron, I'm your host and thank you guys so much for sticking around for just one more week of this thing called Murders to Music. This week I want to talk about coming out of law enforcement, as you guys know if you've been around or you've heard, and if not, I'll tell you now coming out of law enforcement. I came out not because I wanted to. I came out because of some PTSD stuff, and coming out I thought PTSD was a joke. I fought it. I thought it was for the weak. I thought it was for the people who were copping out or quitters or the cowardly. I thought that it was something that well weak people did. I thought it was an absolute horrible thing to claim PTSD and there was no way that my badass was going to claim PTSD because I could go harder and longer and faster and be better than anybody around me. That's what I felt. Now. That was pride, and that pride wasn't good for sure, and I've had to deal with that over this last couple of years, but that is truly the way that I felt coming out, and it took me a couple of things to wrap my mind around PTSD or PTS, as you'll hear in a moment as to the reality of what it was and the reality that I was experiencing it.
Speaker 1:You know, and there was an interview which I won't go into tons of detail about, I've done it on the podcast before. But there was an interview with workers comp won't go into tons of detail about, I've done it on the podcast before. But there was an interview with Workers' Comp where I had to list out a dozen different calls, critical incidents I was involved in and how I experienced those, and then how I thought that affected my life and that started with my partner getting killed in the line of duty in 2003 that I was directly involved in Talked to me, being suicidal to me. You know these different things right, and that was like an indicator to me that during that middle of that interview I realized, holy crap, I am screwed up and I'm screwed up for a reason. I'm screwed up because of all these things that have happened to me and I'm going to be this way forever. You know it's kind of like Steve Martin and the jerk I'm going to. You know I'm going to stay this color. It's just the way that I felt and what I accepted PTSD during that conversation.
Speaker 1:But I was on this road to victimization. I was on this road of woe is me and my life is never going to be better and I'm doomed forever and I'm out of a job and I got to figure that out and all this whiny stuff that I was involved in. That's the way that I felt after that phone call. While I made a cognitive decision and a cognitive understanding that I was affected by PTSD. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and that I was going to die this way. So what do you do in that circumstance? What did I do in that circumstance? What? What did I do in that circumstance when I'm looking down the double barrel of life, thinking man, this is who I used to be, this is who I am today. I now have this diagnosis. I'll never get better. Um, this is how people kill themselves. All that stuff right.
Speaker 1:So I started going to therapy and therapy was rough at first with my therapist that I had. Then I changed therapists and it really got a lot better and I definitely think that finding the right therapist is the way to go. A bad therapist can do more harm than good and maybe turn you away from therapy or treatment and maybe push you deeper into that dark cocoon that you're already living in. A good therapist man can sure shed light on everything, and I was so blessed to find an amazing therapist, a counselor I don't even know what the right term is. Is it security officer or security guard, I don't know Anyway. So, uh, I found the right person and it was pretty amazing, that was part of it. But even in that and it was pretty amazing, that was part of it but even in that, um, it didn't really answer all the questions. I still felt like there was something missing. I felt like, you know, um, I felt like not all the dots were getting connected and I needed some help there.
Speaker 1:So I went to a couple of different resiliency programs designed specifically for law enforcement, and the first one I went to was in California, out of Healdsburg, and it was first responder resiliency and I've done a podcast on it too, actually one where I interviewed the founder, susan Farren, and then the other one where she interviewed me. So those are out there, you can look them up. The first responder resiliency program and, uh, I don't know, it was probably back around episode 20 or something 25, something like that. That program was really centered around the science and the medical science behind PTSD or PTS, and it was centered around what is happening inside of the brain left brain, right brain, dopamine, neurotransmitters, neural pathways, relaxation techniques, adult coloring, meditation, yoga, game playing, no alcohol, getting the blood flowing, exercise. It was centered around everything physiological and scientific about PTSD and for me that was awesome because I really want to wrap my mind around why things are happening.
Speaker 1:Why do I feel the way that I do? Why am I stuck in this position? Why am I stuck in anger when the rest of the world seems to be calm? How come every time a door closes, I jump out of my seat and want to go shoot somebody? What's my startle response and why is it so big? This course that I went to First Respond to Resiliency tackled all of that from a scientific point of view and I left that class feeling so much smarter than I did when I went in about why my body and brain was doing the things that it was doing and then, more so, how I could correct that actions and steps and flow state and coloring and yoga and all that stuff that I could do. That would help build the correct neural pathways in my brain, through the slower parts of my brain and start exercising the parts of my brain that haven't been used in years. So I go to that course and it's great.
Speaker 1:Then I come back home and by this time I'm out of work, I'm on medical leave and, uh, hanging out working through therapy. And I'm talking to a friend of mine who is a veteran, also law enforcement, and we're talking about my course that I just came back from. And he says, hey, have you ever heard about Mighty Oaks program? That I just came back from. And he says, hey, have you ever heard about Mighty Oaks program? And I'm like, no, I said, tell me about it. He's like, well, man, I went and the Mighty Oaks program is a program designed for law enforcement and first responders and and their families and their wives it's, you know, wives have a program too. And he's like and it's set up into law enforcement groups or veteran groups and it's all men, so you're not have a bunch of women there.
Speaker 1:And he says these classes take place throughout the United States and it's free, they will fly you out, there's scholarships, they'll fly you out there and they'll put you up for a week, they feed you great food and you have breakout sessions and classes and you talk and a lot of it is faith based. So they will talk about PTS and what you deal with and the struggles that you have. But they'll also relate it back to the Bible and what faith says about it and what your Christian walk says about it. And they talk about how easy it is to get off of your faith trail when you're in the line of duty, you know, and on the game trail of life. So we're having this conversation and it sounds really, really cool. I'm like man that sounds pretty awesome. So he gives me the information and I make a couple of phone calls and I learned that everything he's saying is true.
Speaker 1:And I have an upcoming class in California, so I apply for it, I get a scholarship and they fly me out to California. I get on a plane, they pick me up in San Jose, I get on some buses and I go out to this awesome pasture and farm and field and winery and whatever else. It was kind of in the middle of nowhere and I'm up in the hills above San Luis Obispo, I believe somewhere up in there, and it's absolutely gorgeous up there, beautiful, uh. The lodge that we're at is sitting on the edge of this Ridge. It's overlooking this huge Valley. Out there, there's other little mountain fingers that stick out with big trees on them. It's the sunsets in this Valley and it's it's absolutely gorgeous. So this is the venue.
Speaker 1:When we get there, we get checked in. We all have our yurts, we're living in yurts and we have some bunk mates. They assign us bunk mates, so we get assigned to our little things and then we start into the program and the program is about a week long, about five days or so, and the program looks like this so everybody in there is first responders and or veterans and everybody is a boy. So you don't have any girls that you have to worry about being machismo for or flexing for or anything like that. There's no uniforms, there's no department shirts, there's no badge, insignias. It is literally stripped down. I don't know if you're a captain, a commandant, an admiral patrol officer or a crime scene technician, it doesn't matter. We go. Every day starts off with an awesome meal, so that meal is gourmet. They have a gourmet chef that works there and they feed you really, really well.
Speaker 1:Then you break out into these group sessions and the group sessions are literally around this big lodge fireplace. It looks like a hunting lodge. It's absolutely gorgeous, like a hunting lodge that a millionaire would go to and they have these big couches and they're leather and they're. They're just beautiful. And you got about 40 or 50 guys in this room and they start talking and the instructors are all peers, they're all guys from military, law enforcement, federal agencies, whatever. And they've just been through this course. They liked it and they became an instructor for them. So they're up there and this is a regiment training course, isn't just war stories. So they're up there and they're talking and they start talking about kind of the week and what the expectations are for the week.
Speaker 1:They talk about the objective and they say the objective, the goal of our time together, is healing over feelings. It says we'll do our very best to give you the necessary tools to become the man that you were created to be. Although much of what you will be taught may be uncomfortable and you will fail to validate your feelings, if you apply these things in your life you will be well on your way to healing. The whole point in that is what I got out of. That was our objective is to show you how to heal.
Speaker 1:If you stay on the path of feelings, if you stay on the path of I feel like a victim, I feel like I'm going down, I feel like I'm going to live this way forever, then you're drowning yourself it for me, I took that as it was very hard to find healing when all you're seeing is the negative and you're living in the feelings. Feelings matter they really do, but in this environment, they wanted you to shed those, put you in a place of uncomfortable vulnerability where you could learn from the things that they're saying, because these things are going to hit you right between. Hit me, right between the eyes. They hit me because it was true, it was talking about impure thoughts, it was talking about money issues, it was talking about pride, and each time one of these things hits you in the middle of the forehead like a ball peen hammer, it's so much easier to resort back into those feelings and that feeling of victimization versus taking a real inner look at yourself, an introspective approach as to how am I a part of this problem? How can I be better? That is what they're talking about during that objective statement.
Speaker 1:So then, as we get through the objective statement we all kind of introduce around the room, like everybody always does, right? And then we start hearing one of the speakers talk and there's probably a dozen speakers up there and a dozen instructors and they start talking about their story and they're all teaching a special or a certain program. And there's a dozen instructors and they start talking about their story and they're all teaching a special or a certain program and there's a lot of different programs that they'll talk about throughout the course of the week and they talk about different things that are biblical principles that affect us in our everyday lives. They'll talk about character, discipline, brotherhood, purity. They talk about what the truth of PTSD is pride, money, possessions, all that stuff. All these are things that affected me in different ways. And throughout the week you find out that not everything is going to be a thorn in your side. Not everything is going to be super impactful and hit your heart, but there's definitely topics that do.
Speaker 1:But after you get out of this group session, you get broken down into these smaller groups and these smaller groups are going to be your cornermen. These smaller groups are led by one of the instructors who is a peer who has done the same type of work that you have, but they've been through training through the Mighty Oaks program, and the training through the Mighty Oaks program has allowed them to become a mentor for you. So you break out into these small groups of four or five, six people, whatever it is. During the small groups, you talk about whatever the group lesson was and how that affected you. How does impurity affect you in your personal conversation, or pride, or money, or relationships, or divorce or whatever it may be, and then you really dig into the biblical principles that are backing up their belief system or backing up their curriculum. So you break into.
Speaker 1:It's like a Bible study. You break into it, but the goal of this is not like a week-long church session. The goal of this is to talk about the things that are truly affecting us as humans and getting these things off of our chest, but then not forgetting that there's a God that loves us, that has experienced everything we've experienced, experienced worse, experienced death on the cross, and they want you to understand that. That God still loves you and here's what the Bible says about it and you're not alone. How many times do we find ourselves when the lights are out, our head is on the pillow, our eyes are closed, the room is dark, nobody's talking, where we really start going into that deep thought and we start feeling alone. Or we're the only ones that have ever made this mistake, or nobody else can relate to what I've done, or God doesn't even love me. Because of the shit that I've done and the mistakes that I've made, I am unlovable. I'm unlovable by these people, whatever it may be. That is when the devil really plays a game inside of our heads. So what this program wants to do is let you understand. There's true biblical principles that show you you're not alone. So it's really, really cool, right?
Speaker 1:There's a workbook that we work through and throughout the week goes. This is how it goes it's rinse and repeat. Occasionally they're going to throw in like an hour or two hours free time. You can take a nap, you can go for a walk in the outdoors. You can, you know, go for a bike ride. You can do whatever it is that you want to try to let the stuff soak in and just give yourself a moment to process, because you're going to be processing a lot. There's a lot of emotions. Everybody in the place is crying and I know that makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe, I know, it may make you feel uncomfortable knowing that you're going to go somewhere and cry around these strangers, but you know what. Every you're in good company, everybody's doing it.
Speaker 1:So throughout the week, they talk about recovery, which is what these times are for. These quiet times talk about resiliency, talk about advocacy, talk about healing and faith and these different topics that I've discussed, and throughout the week, we're putting all the pieces of the puzzle together and you and your little team of four or five people grow stronger and stronger. Well, at the end of the week, you realize that this little team of people you're with are actually your cornermen. These are the guys, and these are the guys that you didn't know coming into the week. They were complete strangers when you met them on day one, but by the time you leave on day four or five, these people are some of your best friends and they're going to be there for you forever. These people, you know their story, they know yours, they know your struggles, you know theirs and at three o'clock in the morning, when the devil is playing games with your head, you have somebody you can pick up the phone and call that are going to be in your corner. You send a text message out at 3 am and within minutes you have people responding back to you because they know the importance of where it's at.
Speaker 1:This whole thing is to help mental health amongst first responders and veterans. It's to help reduce the suicide rate. It's to help reduce the depression, reduce the mental health issues that we experience Every single day. Law enforcement and first responders and veterans go out into the world and they get bombarded with the darkest of dark and the stuff that nobody else wants to deal with the death, the devastation, the fighting, the running into danger. They do all of that for you, they do all of that for us, so we can all sleep peacefully in our beds at night, whether it's domestically or internationally. But at the end of the day, who is there for them? Or internationally, but at the end of the day, who is there for them when their chips are down, when they're dying by the death by a thousand cuts, who is there to help them and walk them through it? And in this case, mighty Oak sets you up for success, because they're giving you the corner men that you can call and they're giving you the biblical principles that you can rely on. That is the absolute truth. That is why this program is so freaking cool.
Speaker 1:So, as you move towards the end of this week right, you've rinsed and repeat this, you've spoke about this, you've had these deep, intimate conversations. You've went for walks. We went on a horse ride. I don't like horses. They're big, I'm big. If their knees buckle because I'm sitting on top of them and I go over their handlebars, I'm scared of that, like I don't want to get hurt. I'm too old, I'm too fragile, so you know. But we went on this horse ride and we went up into the mountains and it was gorgeous and we just got time in peace and nature, which was so, so cool.
Speaker 1:They give you a Bible through this process. They help you read it, understand what it's about. Some people have never picked up the Bible. Some people come in with a great faith background. It doesn't matter where you are. They find you where you're at and they help you. And they don't force you into any of this right, but they just share the word and share the message with you. And we found that people had never believed before. We find that people who thought they were alone and were going to die this way were coming together with friends and now family, and getting baptized and saved, and it was just an amazing experience. On the side of a mountain in California. It was really, really cool. And the fact that all of this is free, all of this is paid through scholarships.
Speaker 1:You see, this program was started by a gentleman named Chad, and Chad was in Afghanistan and he fought and when he came home he was messed up, to say the least. Chad had psychological issues, emotional issues, spiritual challenges, and when he got back to the US, he realized that he was in a bad, bad place but that a lot of other combat veterans were struggling with the same issues. But because of the mochismo and the desire to be tough and to not talk about our problems, these things weren't getting addressed and, as a result, there was suicide happening and, as a result, there's mental health issues and there's depression and divorce and everything else. But when you have that faith background, when you have that thread of God running through you, how do you balance that? How do you pray and then go put a gun in your mouth? I mean, it's just. It was a crazy juxtaposition that he found himself in, so that's when he and his wife Kathy launched the Mighty Oaks program and they launched it with the business plan or with the plan. This was going to be a peer-to-peer modeling counseling group that was going to empower veterans and law enforcement to heal and positively influence others around them. It was a really a grassroots approach to healing. It was from the ground up and they found that it gained traction super, super quickly and that people were wanting this and at first it just started out as veterans, but then they started bringing in first responders because they realized that the worlds were so, so close to each other and, as a result of Chad's efforts, there has been numerous of these campuses opened up across the nation and internationally. Hundreds or thousands of law enforcement and first responders and military and veteran personnel and and their wives. Their wives have a program and they have ladies programs. They have all of these programs and all these things are available at no charge because of the scholarships and the funding and the financial backing that the mighty oaks have, because it's doing such great, great things and I am not paid or anything else by Mighty Oaks.
Speaker 1:I literally am a dude that was struggling, wondering if the stigma about PTSD was real. I needed help. I was caught in my feelings. I went and here I am. That is it. They don't even know I'm doing this podcast and I don't even know if they'd want me to do this podcast. But I don't care. I'm not asking them Because somebody out there hopefully still listening at this point, at 21 minutes and 54 seconds in as like you know what, I think this could help me. I think this was something that might be check out.
Speaker 1:So, as we got towards the end of that week right, we're through it. We understand what it's, what it's about. We've all soaked in, we've all cried, we We've all soaked in, we've all cried, we've all been there, we've dug into our Bibles, probably more than we have in a long time. And now the end of the week comes and they have a graduation ceremony and they present us all with a sword. And the sword is a wooden sword, about 30 inches long, and it says legacy program no man fights alone. It has our name, it has the mighty Oaks insignia embroidered or embellished on it and they have a police badge on it, because I'm a police officer. That sword reminds us that we take this into battle, that when we go out there and we hit life, it's going to be a fight, but no man should fight alone. It's going to be an uphill battle.
Speaker 1:Life isn't easy. If life is coming at you easy, then you really don't have any problems or issues. It is designed to be a struggle, it's designed to grow and you have to fight and you have to get on top of each level of this and you have to overcome and overcome and overcome and, as a result, you become a better person. That's how you build resiliency, that's how you demand advocacy and that's how you recover from the death by a thousand cuts that this career will do to you. Understanding you're not alone. Understanding you have a corner man and your corner women and the marriage programs and your corner spousal relationships. All of that is super important to a holistic approach to healing from PTSD. You can drop the D.
Speaker 1:Pts is post-traumatic stress. Yes, we experience it. It does not have to be a disorder. It does not have to be something that lives with you forever, like I thought when I was diagnosed. I thought it's something I was going to die with, it was going to end my life and my life is over and I can't be anything if I'm not a cop. All not true. Pts is real PTSD. It is not a disorder and we can all heal from it.
Speaker 1:Like I said a moment ago, I'm trying to engage you, the military, the first responder communities, people out there listening to this, and if you know somebody who's in those communities who might be able to benefit from this, please share the information with them. Again, I'm not associated or affiliated with these people at all. It's Mighty. It's on the web at MightyOaksProgramsorg. Mighty Oak. Sorry, mightyoaksprogramsorg Oaks is plural, programs is plural. Check it out, that's it. That's what I got this week. I just want to share that pathway to healing that worked for me and the faith thread that reminds us that we're not alone, even in those darkest nights on our pillows, when all is quiet and the devil is playing hell in our heads. Ladies and gentlemen, that is a Murders to Music podcast.
