Supporting Grief and Loss: The Impact of the Bereavement Network Resources of Sacramento

How do we truly support those navigating the turbulent waters of grief and loss? How do we even define the nature of what grief or loss may be? Gather insightful perspectives from my guests, Elizabeth Cantu and Suzanne Austen, as they shed light on the profound work of the Bereavement Network Resources of Sacramento. This episode traces the organization's roots from a grassroots initiative by grieving parents, evolving over 41 years to become a vital resource addressing a spectrum of grief-related challenges, including those faced by the LGBTQ community and the ongoing opioid crisis. Elizabeth shares a moving personal tale about how the network's resources provided solace to her daughter in Oregon during a tragic time, highlighting the boundless power of collaboration and support.

The journey of a young professional in the grief support domain is nothing short of inspiring, offering a fresh perspective on the innovative efforts of a nonprofit that champions bereavement resources. Discover the unexpected value of an old-school pamphlet in a digital age, serving as a crucial tool for those in mourning. Suzanne's initiative of quarterly networking meetings fosters collaboration between professionals from various fields, such as law enforcement and healthcare, reinforcing the need for these resources in schools to support educators dealing with student trauma. Learn about the organization's creative funding strategies, including their participation in the Big Day of Giving, and the challenges they face as an all-volunteer, yet successful, nonprofit.

In the realm of bereavement support, norms are shifting towards more environmentally conscious practices. We explore the increasing preference for green burial options, reflecting a broader change in how we honor and remember our loved ones. This conversation also looks into unique initiatives like scholarships for thanatology students and the concept of a "Good Grief Ball." Hear how volunteer organizations play a crucial role in providing support, and the importance of raising awareness, encouraging volunteerism, and securing donations to sustain and expand these essential services. Through personal anecdotes and professional insights, we emphasize the interconnectedness of grief support with other community organizations, advocating for greater collaboration and accessibility to these vital resources.

To learn more about the Bereavement Network or to access services, visit the website HERE.  Or you can call (916) 557-5882

Chapter Summary

(00:00) Supporting Grief and Loss Through Collaboration
Loss and grief are addressed by the Bereavement Network Resources of Sacramento, providing support for diverse forms of grief and mental wellness.

(10:26) Community Support Through Bereavement Resources
Passion for grief support, tangible resources, networking meetings, school directories, funding strategies for all-volunteer nonprofit.

(22:23) Empowering Bereavement Support Initiatives
Escalating costs of burial and cremation, scholarships for thanatology students, Good Grief Ball, death doulas, and ra

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Transcript

Suzanne Austen: [00:00:00] My neighbor recently lost her dog, and for weeks I would see her and she'd cry and cry. She never stopped crying. Then one day she said to me, you know, I didn't grieve for my teenage brother who died on a motorcycle accident. I didn't grieve for my parents, but now all of this grief is coming up. And it's necessary to take care of yourself and and to take care of things as they happen.

Jeff Holden: Hi, I'm Jeff Holden. Welcome to the Nonprofit Podcast Network. Our purpose and passion is to highlight a nonprofit organization in each weekly episode. Giving that organization an opportunity to tell their story in their words, to better inform and educate the respective communities they [00:01:00] serve, as well as provide one more tool for them to share their message to constituents and donors.

Our goal is to help build stronger communities through shared voices and to both encourage and support the growth of local nonprofit organizations through podcasting. Thanks to our partners for their support in getting these stories told. Smud, Sacramento Metropolitan Utility District's Shine Awards program benefiting nonprofits for energy efficiency.

CAPTRUST fiduciary advice for endowments and foundations and Western Health Advantage, a full service healthcare plan for individuals, employer groups, and families. Modern life's tasks and projects often prove taxing in so many ways, but possibly none as challenging as the time it takes away from us to grieve when necessary.

Grief is universal. We all experience it at some point in time, likely multiple times in a lifetime. The loss can be significant, but [00:02:00] society expects us to move on quickly, get over it, if you will. Grief can be disenfranchised. It doesn't have to be death or loss of a loved one. It could be divorce, bankruptcy, loss of a job.

There's a stigma in many communities over anxiety or depression from loss. Today we can be more isolated. Grief impacts our health. If unaddressed in this episode, you'll learn of a network of support for grief, the bereavement network, and they've been around helping others deal with grief for over 40 years.

Our guests today have not only experienced grief that motivated them to help others as volunteers for the organization, but they'll share much more about the benefits of the network and its practical application in a world moving ever so rapidly. Elizabeth Cantu and Suzanne Austin, welcome to the Nonprofit Podcast Network.

Elizabeth Cantu: Thank you. Oh, thank you. It's so good to be here. 

Jeff Holden: Wonderful to have [00:03:00] you. Our topic today is a little different. It's one that we haven't really addressed, but it's really prevalent in life, period. It's a topic of loss and grief and it's difficult to address yet it's so necessary to be addressed. I was really surprised to hear how long this organization has been around, but obviously grief has been around forever.

So necessary is really an understatement. If you would give us a little history of the bereavement network, I think that would help everybody understand a little bit more. Suzanne, 

Suzanne Austen: I'd be happy to. Yes. The bereavement network resources of Sacramento was established 41 years ago. That's, you know, half my life almost.

And the, the people that started it were grieving parents and they were looking for some support and. [00:04:00] Their resources. They didn't find a whole lot in Sacramento, but at about that time, 41 years ago was 1984. It was before we had computers where we could just look things up easily. And so they went and found these, the founders, the two women found a group, their friends probably.

Doctors, we have psychologists, caregivers and, and bereaved people themselves are, were on the founding board. So, uh, when they saw that they didn't have much resource here, they decided to do it themselves and they became incorporated as a nonprofit in 1984. It was about that time that the peers support groups started to appear.

So now there's a group for mothers who have lost their children or spouses have lost, and so they came up [00:05:00] with a, they gleaned all those things that were happening at that time and put them in a directory, and it was very rudimentary. The directory was not organized. But the numbers and the dates were there, the people were there, and we've come a long way from that.

But basically that's, that's how we started. 

Jeff Holden: You know, it's so common. That's how some of these organizations just bubble up as a need, presents itself. And to think 41 years ago, I moved here in 85, so just a year after you started. And knowing what. Our digital capacity was back then, I mean, we had cell phones, but we really didn't have the access to resources that we have today to where you can just go and find it.

Yeah. And you still produce a non-digital piece, you know, a, a, a pamphlet of sorts as well as now a robust website with information and resources as well. Let, let's continue on [00:06:00] on the grief path, because grief isn't just death grief. It can be a variety of different losses. It could be the, you know, the loss of a job, the loss of a marriage.

You know, a, a family member just moves away to a, a child that could be catastrophic if it was a close aunt or uncle or a grandparent. Does everything get addressed? How does it get addressed? 

Suzanne Austen: Well, we, uh, make an effort to address many things. I wanna tell you why I got on the board initially, and that's because I had been in a, an abusive relationship and after 12 years of marriage, I left the relationship.

But when I left, I left my daughter, my church, my friends, my community. I left. And it was a very difficult time, even though I wanted to lose [00:07:00] leave, the loss was tremendous. I had to rebuild myself and I was looking for support and I just slugged myself through all way through it. 

Jeff Holden: The hard way. 

Suzanne Austen: Yeah. Yeah.

So, but the other interesting thing is my neighbor recently lost her dog. And for weeks I would see her and she'd cry and cry. She never stopped crying. And then one day she said to me, you know, I didn't grieve for my teenage brother who died on a motorcycle accident. I didn't grieve for my parents. But now all of this grief is coming up and, and it's necessary to take care of yourself and, and to take care of things as they happen.

Jeff Holden: And we know that so much more today than we did back then. For sure. You know, the mental health, mental wellness, and it sounds like that pent up grief was just [00:08:00] balled up inside of her and the animal, the pet, which is serious for many, many people, it's as close as a human to them, just released all of it.

Suzanne Austen: Yes. So, you know, as time goes on, as our, our culture becomes more. Open about what? What's out there? You know, we now have, we have a listing for opioid epidemic and we have a listing for L-G-B-T-Q and we saw that, you know, we've gotta keep up with the times. We've gotta make this directory bigger and bigger, 

Jeff Holden: which requires more and more work.

And we'll get into that in just a second. Elizabeth, is there a particular geography that the. Organization serves. 

Elizabeth Cantu: Yes, there is a particular geography. We serve the Greater Sacramento area, but we also serve the outlining areas, Davis, Yolo County, Amador County, Placer County, El Dorado County, [00:09:00] and El Dorado Hills.

However, I have this great story that has personally touched me with the Bereavement Network resource that was beyond our geography, and I wanted to share that story with you 

Jeff Holden: please. 

Elizabeth Cantu: I have two adult children and my daughter lives in Oregon at the time, and she had just started a new job and she called me one night as I was at my desk frantically crying that her fiance had passed away in his sleep and she had just got word and I calling a mother never wants to hear and I didn't know how I was gonna help her and.

Ironically, this directory was sitting on my desk and I told her, I will do my best to see what I can do to help you and I, and so just, just stay put. As I opened the directory, there was the law enforcement chaplain in our directory. I called them immediately and they were able to dispatch a [00:10:00] fellow colleague in Oregon to my daughter's hotel room within one hour, and it still just gives me chills because.

That collaboration of networking across, you know, different states was just so profound to me because this was my precious daughter. Mm-hmm. And the chaplain stayed with my daughter until my son was able to get there. And I'll never forget how valuable the organization became to me because it became very personal.

Because of that. I am definitely, you know, serving right now as vice president, but I'll definitely keep serving because that need was met immediately with the resource that we've been working so hard for the last 41 years to create. 

Jeff Holden: And I'm so sorry to hear that loss of of a fiance, they never even got to the marriage part.

I can only imagine the whole family experiencing something like that. Yes. But the value of almost immediate support. And many of us don't recognize that [00:11:00] because we deal with it. You know, we either shove it into a compartment in our brain somewhere where we're not going to, you know, deal with it, or we deny it.

You know, it's, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. When in fact, maybe not so fine and it's easy to just move on, but. We recognize today the significance of dealing with grief and dealing with issues that have such emotional or mental, or even physical trauma that we don't even realize. And, and Suzanne, to your story, you know, we've had, you know, we even here and other domestic violence organizations, human trafficking, all of those have this experiential grief both to the families and to the victim.

I don't know how it gets dealt with. I'm sure there's counseling in many cases, but maybe not so much. And there's an awareness now that there's an organization that somebody can connect with. Let's talk about collaboration. 'cause you said the word [00:12:00] with the collaboration between the chaplain here and in Oregon.

Who are the people that you collaborate with? 

Elizabeth Cantu: Well, we work with a village of organizations from our grief share hospices, churches. Volunteers. We have professionals. We have people that were recently widowed. It's a gamut of all different walks of life, which makes such a beautiful way to serve because we all have the one mind to help the bereaved.

Mm-hmm. And so that's a beautiful thing. One of the things that I wanted to share with you is that our funeral homes, we have a major sponsor, east Lawn Cemetery, who helps us print our directories, and each year they print over 10,000 directories for us free of charge for us to be able to offer those to the churches and all the different entities that need this type of a resource.

We also have Dignity Memorial. They are also a wonderful [00:13:00] resource. They have helped us lately, so excited. One of our newest board members is a part of Dignity Memorial, and I love having the new generation come on board and help us to get the word out and collaborate. It's pretty, it's pretty cool. I'm very proud to be a part of this organization.

Jeff Holden: Well, what's really neat about that, I happened to meet that. And that's what started this conversation because I absolutely, this is somebody maybe 30 years old ish, and I thought, you're in an industry, in this case, dealing with death. You know, this is people who have passed. I thought it was just so odd, but she was so enthusiastic and really understood.

Kayla, thank you. The nature of this beast, so to speak, and her engagement. A completely different space that you wouldn't expect for somebody of that age. The thing that, uh, we're, we keep referring to is it's a pamphlet. Mm-hmm. It's, and [00:14:00] I'm gonna say an old school pamphlet. Most of us understand what that looks like.

Exactly. You go to church and you used to get a bulletin and it's, it's similar to that, but I can see the value because even in our most technically digital world. If we're not looking for it, that doesn't just show up. But if you should happen to go to a memorial service or you go to a church, you see this sitting on the side, you might grab it.

You might say that, that appeared there for me for some reason. I'm dealing with something. You can distribute it. You can hand it out to places where, you know, there's challenges on some of those nonprofit organizations that deal with people who are experiencing grief. It's e they, they, they, the last thing they wanna do is be digging around and they're not thinking about it.

They're not going, 

Elizabeth Cantu: or can they at that point? Yes, yes, exactly right. 

Jeff Holden: It's very helpful. So they get this little pamphlet and it's like, okay, there's, that's two blocks from where I live, or there's a name or a number or an organization that I can reach [00:15:00] out to. How do you find the organizations? To contribute and I, by that I mean the services, not to pay for it, but to, to.

Participate in supporting those who are grieving. 

Elizabeth Cantu: A wonderful thing that was Suzanne's brainchild is that, you know, Suzanne and I worked very closely as Madam VP and President during the pandemic, and she had spoke about one day I wanna have a network, I wanna have a network work quarterly. We meet with all the professionals and we're face to face, and I said, we're gonna make that happen someday.

I'm so proud to say that it's our one year anniversary where we have been having networking meetings with the professionals every quarter. And so with that being said, we now have these professionals that love to be able to talk with other professionals in law enforcement and the hospitals working with bereaved children to our mortuaries, et cetera, et cetera.

And there's such a synergy [00:16:00] there that it's so amazing to be able to have this quarterly event now. And so I am grateful for that because we're thinking of things that we never even thought of. Like one of the examples at our last board meeting, we had someone that was a person that was talking about the planning for.

What is it called? A trust, you know? Mm-hmm. Having a trust and we thought, yes, we need that resource because you, it just keeps escalating to a new idea. That can be just amazing. Yes. And now we're 41 years and we're still growing and evolving, which is so exciting. 

Jeff Holden: Well, the one thing we know for sure is grief is not going anywhere.

Yes. It's, it's unfortunately gonna be here in some way, shape, or form. Yes. Forever. And Suzanne, you were saying something as Elizabeth was talking about the organizations, about the schools. 

Suzanne Austen: Yes. I have thought for a long time that, that we need to get these directories in the schools because we have a phone service, ment network resource.

We have a [00:17:00] call that's a message phone. You leave a message, we call you back. And how many times have I gotten calls from somebody in the school? A teacher or you know, principal people? Mm-hmm. And, and they want resources. They want directories. Some recently, um, a child. Had brought a gun to school. This is elementary school, and the kids were freaked out.

It turned out he didn't have a gun, but nevertheless, the kids were traumatized. There's so much in the news nowadays about this kind of thing, 

Jeff Holden: right? 

Suzanne Austen: So it was actually they, she wanted somebody to come and talk to them. And so I went to our directory and called the Law Enforcement Chaplaincy again, and they went out to the school and talked to the kids.

So yeah, 

Jeff Holden: it's great. Great example. Great example. 

Suzanne Austen: Mm-hmm. 

Jeff Holden: Of just the outreach and having the awareness that an organization like this exists. [00:18:00] And I know we've had several other organizations that could use your service who have sat in the studio, and I just keep mentioning it. They're like, we didn't know.

We didn't know there was such an opportunity. 

Suzanne Austen: If you give us those contacts, we'll contact them. Yes. 

Jeff Holden: Yes. And I think I already have. Yes. In some cases they, they've, they've moved through it. You're an all volunteer organization, correct? 

Elizabeth Cantu: Yes. 

Jeff Holden: Which makes it really difficult because nobody's getting paid to do any of the backend support yet.

You have a pamphlet. That pamphlet requires, you know, the digitization. It has to get printed, it has to go somewhere, it has to be dealt with, has to be delivered in some way, shape or form. How are you funded? How does everything work? What kind of budget do you deal with? 

Elizabeth Cantu: We are a nonprofit funded by our sponsors, and as I said earlier, Easton is one of our oldest sponsors that's been around, but we also have something recent that we just added to our repertoire, which is the big day of giving, and we were wonderful, excited about that, that big day of [00:19:00] giving.

But just to give you our reference, at one point. When I came on board, this directory was 25 cents. It was 25 cents, nine plus years ago. And we really got creative and thought, well, we need to do some type of bundles. We need a website. Suzanne and I recruited some graduates at Sac State. They helped us get, uh, online, so we had been moving and shaking for quite some time.

But in regards to funding, a lot of our board members actually donate to our budget, but we also have. Different sponsors that will give us a donation for a bundle of these directories or a presence on our website. Mm-hmm. Something new that we're doing. We, Suzanne has been working really hard with that.

And Suzanne, do you wanna tell them about the presence on a website for the fundraising? 

Suzanne Austen: Yes. The website is amazing, so I didn't have anything to do with it, but we, we have a tab for affiliates. So you [00:20:00] can be a part of the bereavement network resources and support us at the same time by advertising what you do.

So, and, and it's so nominal. I don't know why everyone doesn't do it, but it's only $200 to the end of this year. We're gonna raise it minimally as we go along, probably, but it's just a way to get your word out. I always tell people I talk to. To tell us something that you do that nobody else does. Mm-hmm.

And, and post it. And so we have gotten a few affiliates that way and 

Jeff Holden: that's great. So that website's actually working for you. I. What does it cost? How many of these things do you do a year? 10,000 did you say? 

Suzanne Austen: Yeah. 10,000. 

Jeff Holden: And And what does that cost roughly? 

Suzanne Austen: We don't know. US Salon takes care of it. 

Jeff Holden: Oh, wonderful.

Their cars. Right. 

Suzanne Austen: Isn't that wonderful? Yeah. 

Jeff Holden: Great. So you don't even have to see it on your p and l and No. And report it. Fantastic. And they 

Suzanne Austen: had have a big spot on the back of the trajectory. Sure. [00:21:00] As they, as they should. Absolutely. Yeah. And I 

Jeff Holden: think everybody in Sacramento knows East Lawn. 

Suzanne Austen: Absolutely. 

Jeff Holden: It's, it's.

Historic in, in so many ways. You know, I wanna 

Suzanne Austen: say another little plug for East Lawn, and that is, they used to be strictly cemetery, but they are really into the mortuary service. Yeah. And cemetery now. And I just wanted to clarify that 

Jeff Holden: as you look at the. Support that you give in the community each year?

How many people do you think you touch? Do you have any idea that come through the network in some way, shape, or form? 

Suzanne Austen: You know, we've touched on a lot of avenues that we, we stretch out into and people we touch. It's really hard to get a solid number on that. We publish 10,000 directories a year. We, you know, we get those out.

Hospices are. Certainly a big taker of those. And it makes sense that they would give these directories to people who haven't died yet to families. Mm-hmm. But, you know, start to get, start to think about [00:22:00] this and we talked about the website. The website has a great presence for the directories on the, on the website.

So you're right. You don't have to have a paper copy. If you wanna take it home, it's kind of nice to have it in a a little package rather than print it out on the, from the internet. 

Jeff Holden: Well, especially when you're running around with a situation, whatever that situation may be, this can go travel easily with you.

You know, you may not be able to get to your phone, you may not have an internet connection. You may be, I. Trying to do something as a resource while you're waiting for something. Right. So we, well thought paper was gonna go away at some point in time and it Sure. I think we use as much of it today as we always have.

Just differently. 

Suzanne Austen: Yes. And so early on, I've been with a organization for 20 years, but not consistently. I took a, a hiatus for about nine years, and at the time I started in, in late nineties, we had a telephone service. We still have that service today. And it's a one more way of [00:23:00] getting the word out and, and helping people through their situation.

Maybe they just want a referral to, to opioid. My daughter just died and, and I can give them that, but I also offer to send them the directory if they like to have it. Mm-hmm. Or go on, they can get it online certainly too. 

Jeff Holden: Let's take a break from the conversation with Elizabeth and Suzanne of the Bereavement Network to learn a little bit about the people who help make this program possible.

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Jeff Holden: I am thrilled to have Western Health [00:24:00] Advantage partnering with us as they do so much to support so many nonprofit agencies in our community. As a truly local health plan, you'll find individual and family options, employer options plans for CalPERS and Medicare Advantage.

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Scott Thomas: Hello, this is Scott Thomas with CAPTRUST in our Sacramento office.

I specialize in working with local nonprofits and associations annually. We survey private and public nonprofit organizations across the country to better understand challenges they see in today's environment. In our more recent survey, we heard concerns about proper board governance, mission aligned investment, and how to implement alternative investments.

If you would like a copy of the survey or to discuss your organization, look me up, [00:25:00] scottThomas@captrust.com. 

Jeff Holden: If we step back for a minute and, and, and look at a really big picture, we know that grief is real and most of us are going to experience it at some point in time in our lives, and in many cases, multiple times.

What would the organization look like if you didn't have to worry about a budget, if you could really do. Something grand, what would it look like? 

Elizabeth Cantu: Wow. I love that question so much because with the nine and a half years that I've been serving, at the time I was the youngest in the board and, and now here I am and we have all these other board members that are, you know, from a different generation and they have.

Amazing ideas, but what I would say, if I could capture what that would look like, I dream of a brick and mortar that we would have a building centrally located where people could walk in something like maybe [00:26:00] a Sierra two or something that's been established for a long time. A bereaved person could walk in, come into our office, and we would be able to not only help them with finding the resources they need, we would also fund.

Folks that may need help with burial costs or maybe just trying to find relief through acupuncture. Have maybe Qigong. I'm talking. I'm a creative, so the creative modality has been my method I've used for my healing process of 34 years of experiencing grief in my family. So I really believe that it's very important to offer creative outlets like gardening classes, community, et cetera.

And one of the things that I'm really excited about is to offer an endowment that would be able to bring others in the future, help and resources. You know how much it costs to bury or cremate someone [00:27:00] now, it's just unbelievable. And so that's a crisis. We 

Jeff Holden: always, we always to think that the cremation was gonna be the inexpensive way, but they found a way now to charge enough for cremation, 

Elizabeth Cantu: right?

Yes. In 

Jeff Holden: so many different elements that they bring into the equation that didn't use to exist. Truly, truly. And so, yes, I, I do understand. 

Elizabeth Cantu: So we need, we need someone in a scholarship. The last part of this dream that I'm envisioning, which thank you so much for this question, is just the ability to have scholarships for those that are studying phonology and in the funeral industry.

I know that a RC has a program there that. They actually offer indigenous service where it's funded by the Sacramento County and it's through the coroner's office and it's in our directory where if there is someone that has a challenge with bearing their loved one, they can use this service. So that is in our directory, and you can go to our website and get more [00:28:00] information on that, but there's a lot of resources.

But the dream is big, but it's that we wanna be able to help another human. Face-to-face and have that. Drive. Kayla, as you mentioned earlier, is thinking of creating a good grief ball next year for those that are in the front line of bereavement in grief. Mm-hmm. 

Jeff Holden: And 

Elizabeth Cantu: we're so excited about that. But you know, the budget's 45,000, so we need to be able to incorporate that in some way.

So those are the dreams that we have, Jeff, and I'm looking forward to being around long enough to see it come to fruition. 

Jeff Holden: Oh, I love those. And, and I, I really like the idea again, because we know this is a human condition. It's not going away. If you had an endowment of some sort, that's sustainability for the organization.

You know, it keeps it going. Yes. In perpetuity for the, you know, the life of the endowment. And if it does well, that's long past our lifetimes. Absolutely. Which is really important. 

Suzanne Austen: I'd like to add that an [00:29:00] endowment would be great for the new area of profession, the death doula. You know, that would be so great if we could.

Get all, and we had a big caseload of death doulas that, that could minister to go with the family through the death process before they've died. But, you know, anticipatory death that mm-hmm. 

Jeff Holden: That kind. Mm-hmm. 

Suzanne Austen: And yeah, I, I personally went, went through that training myself during COVID and I didn't want to.

Make a profession of it. I just want it to be able to be there for people, so, 

Jeff Holden: and is this the death doula? Is that different than a hospice nurse per se? 

Suzanne Austen: It's in addition. It doesn't take anything away from hospice. It just helps the family understand what's gonna happen. To be there when they have grief and I mean, they're grieving.

Jeff Holden: Mm-hmm. 

Suzanne Austen: And to just be there with them [00:30:00] for maybe a month, maybe three months. Who knows, you know? Right. But yeah, it's just a hold their hand. 

Jeff Holden: I think that's wonderful to hear that that position is now a taught position. So it's many of, we have our community, we have our friends, we have our family. That's who gathers.

They're not trained. Yeah. And, and, and it works and it has worked, but so much better that it's somebody who is trained to really identify and be able to see certain things so that that person doesn't fall into either a deeper depression or, you know, substance abuse, whatever the situation may be. That is their outlet and denial being one of those as well.

You know, that seems to be like almost the acceptable one because nobody sees anything, so everything's fine. 

Suzanne Austen: Can I give you an example of that? 

Jeff Holden: Sure. 

Suzanne Austen: My father-in-law was on hospice. He was, he had several things wrong, but he was failing. And his wife, my mother-in-law called the kids and said, you know, you [00:31:00] need to come now if you wanna see your dad.

So we, all of us go out there. Two from Arizona, they live in Arizona and and US from Sacramento. And we get there and he's supposed to have morphine around the clock. And they've got it. It's there, it's there for the kids to give it to him. They live out in the country too, and the adult children are all standing around in the kitchen and, and the, they're debating, gee, do we wanna give it to 'em?

And, you know, well, I don't wanna be responsible for killing him. And, and I just had to say, look, you guys. The man is gonna die. He's in a lot of pain. He's not gonna start walking again. Mm-hmm. You know, do you wanna make him comfortable? Then we need to follow the protocol and, and he did last about a week later, but we took shifts.

My husband and I took shifts through the night to make sure every four hours he got [00:32:00] that medication. 

Jeff Holden: Mm-hmm. Well, there's that training. And the awareness 

Suzanne Austen: it was before that. 

Jeff Holden: Oh, well then it was just common sense. Yeah. Good. For you. Back to today, what is the greatest need of the organization? 

Elizabeth Cantu: I believe awareness is so important.

I. Who we are, where we're at. I, I did some outreach for the federal government and so I have that background and I really want to partner with the different entities of the government county, you know, city, state, and be able to. Take this to a whole nother level of outreach. And I believe we're doing that by starting here at this podcast and the things of recruiting new members and the networking.

But our greatest need is for others to be involved and to volunteer and to donate, 

Jeff Holden: and I think people need to see the [00:33:00] effect and the impact that you're having. You've been around for 41 years, so clearly. There's a value in the service. Absolutely. And as they know that, the more likely they are to recognize not only is there a need, but there's something being fulfilled.

You don't last that long if there isn't a positive impact in the community, and that's for sure. It's a big plus for what's happening. What's the best way for somebody to find out more about you? 

Elizabeth Cantu: Listen to this podcast repeatedly. Yes, I agree with 

Jeff Holden: that. Thank you. 

Elizabeth Cantu: And then also they can go to our website, which is grief help sacramento.com.

Is 

Jeff Holden: grief help sacramento sacramento.com. Dot com. 

Elizabeth Cantu: Yes. And you can also call our number at (916) 557-5882. If you need us to call you back, we can also mail you a directory. We could chat with you and then of course you can email us as well, [00:34:00] which is Grief Help sacramento@gmail.com. 

Jeff Holden: Okay. And I'll put all of those.

In the show notes as well for people to look on their phone and or their computer, depending how big. 

Elizabeth Cantu: Sure. And we're in Instagram as well, and Facebook. So those are other, you know, social media ways to reach out to us. 

Jeff Holden: Good. So you're out in all the contemporary venues because I can see you've got this disparate audience from senior seniors who obviously experience grief and spouses and people who are aging out at this point in time, as well as those who experience grief from a variety of different ways.

At younger ages and they're gonna be much more digitally connected and looking for resources digitally. So you have to play in a contemporary world as well as a very traditional stayed world as well. Right. Back, back to the people, as you were mentioning with, even with East Lawn, you know, there's still a lot of burial going on where people bought those plots 50 years ago.

Mm-hmm. And today most of us [00:35:00] don't even think about. Being put into, you know, a casket in the ground. It's distribute my ashe is someplace that I really enjoyed or keep some for family remembrance, but it's, it's anything but mm-hmm. You know, a big box in the ground. So the changing norms are, are just really.

Wide spectrums 

Suzanne Austen: and the environmental consciousness of the world and, and the young people are, are much more not wanting to put concrete in the gar ground and, you know, big caskets. Right. You know, it's, we've, we're coming along, I think, to treat the world better. 

Jeff Holden: Yes, yes. Well, in so many ways, chemically as well.

Yes. Because it all happens with embalming and 

Suzanne Austen: Yes. 

Jeff Holden: You know, the list goes on and on and on. Well, loss is difficult for any of us, and it doesn't necessarily mean it's a loved one as we've learned, but providing a resource that helps the general population know there's a place they can get the support is a message that needs to be shared with everyone in [00:36:00] so many different ways.

And, and you guys, as an all volunteer group, what a commitment to your, all of you, your, your board, your volunteers, everybody that contributes. Thank you for, for what you're doing in such a scrappy way. I mean, you're scratching and clawing and, and making sure that the information's getting out and I really wanna see that facility.

Mm-hmm. You know, centrally located. Yes. And, and see an endowed piece that allows an organization like this to exist, you know, in some semblance of perpetuity. And also connecting you to the other organizations that we speak with that could use the balance. I. What grief Relief could provide for so many of the people that are the impacted people of those organizations.

You know, whether it be a weave or a, you know, domestic violence, foster youth. You know, that, that movement, it's, it's in so many places, in so many different ways that [00:37:00] I, I just applaud you for what you're doing, and you're doing it such a hard way that hopefully we'll get to see it. Become a little bit easier to where there's just greater engagement.

Acceptance and use that provides you what you need. 

Elizabeth Cantu: I love it. Sounds great. And it's definitely takes a village, so thank you. 

Suzanne Austen: Yeah. And Jeff, you have done a lot for us just to recognize us and have us here. Is is. I'm so grateful. 

Jeff Holden: Well, thank you both. I appreciate it.

Thank you for listening to the Nonprofit Podcast Network. I hope you enjoyed the episode. If what you heard moved you, please reach out to that organization and do what you can to help. If you like and appreciate what we're doing to support local nonprofits, please give us a positive review. Subscribe and share.

If you're a nonprofit with an interest in participating in an episode. You can reach me at jeff@hearmeowstudio.com. [00:38:00] Once again, we're grateful for the businesses who have made this program possible. CAPTRUST fiduciary advice for endowments and foundations. You can find them in Sacramento, Roseville and Folsom captrust.com SUD Shine Awards helping support our nonprofit community with grants for more efficient energy usage.

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