Acceptance: The Anchor I Finally Let Go

In this deeply personal episode, Rah — known as Mr. Trauma Talks — shares the story he spent most of his life running from. From childhood abuse, bullying, and being belittled, to surviving an abusive relationship and spending decades not accepting his age, his worth, or his identity, Rah opens up about the journey that finally led him to self‑love at 45.

He speaks about carrying pain like a broken ocean liner’s anchor, dragging it through life until he learned the power of letting go. He explores the truth behind his quote, “What is meant for you shall never pass you by, and what passes you by was never meant for you.” And he reminds us of the old saying: “A man once had the blues because he had no shoes… until he met a man who had no feet.”

This talk dives into why so many people today hold on to things that hurt them — old stories, old wounds, old identities — and how acceptance becomes the doorway to freedom, healing, and becoming who you were always meant to be.

 #Acceptance #MentalHealthMatters #TraumaHealing #LettingGo #SelfAcceptance #YouAreNotAlone #HealingJourney #MrTraumaTalks #RahSpeaks #LivedExperience #EmotionalHealing #InnerStrength #MentalHealthPodcast #SpotifyPodcasts #ApplePodcasts #iHeartRadio #HealingIsPossible #BreakTheSilence #ChooseYourself #OvercomingTrauma #MotivationDaily #InspirationForYou #HealingCommunity #MentalHealthAwareness 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:03

Hello everyone again. So this is Mr. Trauma Talks Rahul K Maharaj as you've seen. And you know that reel is from two years ago. And we're about to speak about acceptance. But you know this is raw! And those of you know me, what we do? We shake it out and we give ourselves a pat on the back from for bringing us from yesterday to today. Because it was tough, it was a task. We give ourselves a pat on the back, on the chest. Hey you, I love you. Thank you for all that you do for me. You have to be easy on yourself. You have to love yourself, and this is how it goes. You see, I sat down and I thought about it. And I, you know, I always think deep about every single thing I do, as we have heard. This is our 10th mental health conference leading up to our 12th in-person mental health conference coming up on stage on Broadway in Times Square called Resilience. So I always put together these different things: self-love, love yourself, believe. We had forgive yourself, now we have acceptance. And when you see I speak about something, today we are speaking about acceptance. It's not the kind of acceptance that you will actually read on a poster. No, no, no, no, no. It's not the kind that people throw at you when you they don't actually know what to say. I am talking about the kind of acceptance that feels that it feels like swallowing fire, the kind that forces you to face the truth that you have been avoiding, the kind that breaks you so that you finally start to rebuild. My story don't just happen with these mental health conferences. Everyone knows we have four different mental health mental health advocacy podcasts, trauma behind the glamour, mental health bites, trauma talk Thursdays, and your trauma talks. So it just started. I didn't just start it healing just like that. It started with pain. It started as growing as a child from abuse, being belittled, being bullied, being taken advantage of. But I had to learn to be silent because silence was a safety net. I learned to shrink myself so that others can feel big. I learned to pretend I was okay because no one ever asked or ever knew. Again, who do we blame when these things are happening? 15 boys beat you down to the ground. Who do you blame? Do you blame yourself? Do you blame your loved ones? Or do you blame the perpetrators? You see, many of times we go through life holding on to a lot of things. Many of people in society today actually tend to hold on to a lot rather than let it go. See, think about you in a relationship that you do not know that was abusive. It didn't happen to me until I started looking into the mirror till 2018, when I brought out your traw, your life experiences with Raw. And while I stood there for others, telling the stories of others and hearing the stories and the steps and the struggles people overcome, I started realizing something is wrong with my own life. See, I did not accept my own word, I did not even accept my own story, I did not even accept my own age. I spent years feeling behind. I've spent years thinking, feeling the lateness of everything else, especially of loving myself. Feeling like I missed the train for everyone else, and it seemed like something I need to catch up. You see, the day I turned 45, I held my camera and my phone to wish myself a happy birthday. Then I looked at myself and I was like, rah, you are 45. Acceptance. That was the first time I actually accepted my age. Previously to that, I never wanted anyone to know I was over 40. I never, every time someone asks me, I would think I'm 25. But that moment, that time, something happened, and I started looking at everything differently. Now, this is not 2018. I had shifted, I had moved. Because while in 2018 bringing the stories of others, I realized that I am living a lie inside, and I had to accept that. I had to realize I'm living what I'm speaking about, where I'm helping others, I am suffering. See, for the first time, I realized not the fake love, not the survival, the real love, the kind that says I deserved better than what I have accepted. That was just the beginning of my journey. It didn't just start it just like that. It didn't just happen for us today to be 10 mental health conferences. When I started, I did not even think I was going to be doing mental health conferences or creating this. I remember clearly March of 2023, doing the very first in-person mental health conference. No support, no sponsors, no funding, no matter how many people you spoke to. But I keep building something out of nothing. I have been scammed. I have been ridiculed. I have been told I'm doing craziness. Three years later, we are on our 10th mental health conference going towards our 12th in June. And for the past seven years and nine months, I have been working hard without many people backing me. Not everyone will sit back and accept this. Many people will look at it as a failure, but I kept going because I know when something is too easy, something is wrong. But when it's hard to go after, you know you're on the right path. See, my purpose is bigger than my pain, and I have accepted it. Acceptance has taught me something so great. Letting go is not weakness, letting go is survival. You know what I always say about letting go? Holding on to your past traumas and the things that sent you into a mental state that you cannot come out of. Think about an old beat-up, rusted ocean liner's anchor. You know, the Titanic anchor sitting at the bottom of the ocean, but you decided to grab the chain and pull that anchor way off from under the sea on the shore, and you're pulling it while you're dragging it along. Not only that you're picking up excess baggage, which is excess mental stress, but it also sinks you, it keeps you stuck in certain places. You see, and this is what I tell people all the time in today's society, too many people are holding on to things and destroying themselves. So you have to be able to let go. Yes, letting go is a huge part. You see, don't hold on to grudges, do not hold on to pain, do not hold on to the people who you have already let go of. People come into your life every single day. You are the driver of your car, you're the pilot of your plane, and passengers are going to come in and out. You have to hold on to your story that makes sense to you. You have to belong to something that is bigger for you. Because at the end of the day, only you can do it for you. This is not letting go of losing something, this is letting go so you don't lose yourself. And acceptance is the key that unlocks all your freedoms. You know, Ra tells you this all the time, and many of the times people are stuck because not just because they're holding on, but because they do not understand. And I started living by this, what I'm about to tell you. And if you live by it and understand it, because you have to really decipher these few words and simple words that tell you what is meant for you shall never pass you by, and what passes you by was never meant for you. Yes, let me repeat it again. What is meant for you shall never pass you by, and what passes you by was never meant for you. And many of times we think our story is so bad, and a million things is happening that we cannot get out of. Because acceptance again. Always remember there once was a man who had the blues because he had no shoes down the street, he met a man who had no feet. Yes, acceptance. Think about that is the gratitude behind it. Accepting it is just a key word that it could be worse. Acceptance has taught me something so great that in my book, Meli and the Pandemic, I speak about it all the time. The pandemic has come and taught us one great thing: change happens. And acceptance has taught me that I cannot change my past, but I could change the things and the ways and the ways I live to make things better. Acceptance has taught me that I cannot erase the abuse, I cannot erase the bullion, I cannot erase the belittling, but I can refuse it to let refuse to let it define me. Acceptance taught me I cannot force people to love me, but I can learn and love myself. Acceptance taught me that I cannot take and make people show up for me, but I can show up for myself. Acceptance has taught me I cannot control what left my life, but I can trust that what is meant for me will always find me. And acceptance has taught me I am enough. I always was, I didn't know. Today I stand hosting this conference here with all these amazing people like the amazing Suzanne Finlay. Who would ever think Ra would be on a stage with the Hollywood award-winning producer Yvonne Chaudson, alongside Dr. Jen, Sharon, and the amazing Terry Moore and Michelle here today on this conference. I'm not that boy who was abused anymore. I'm not the man who didn't understand his age. I am not the person who was unworthy of love. I am a man who accepts the truth. I'm a man who accepts my story. I'm a man who accepts my purpose here, I'm a man who accepts me because I started to love myself. I love all of you for what you do. Accept who you are, understand who you are, and love yourself. This is Rob, Mr. Trauma Talks, and I love you all. I gotta bring you all up to ask your questions. Any questions?

SPEAKER_01 12:35

That was an uplifting and beautiful share that tightens the energy in each of us and the possibility for each of us becoming our best selves. Thank you for that, Roth.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Thank you, Yvonne. That means a lot.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

And I'm so excited for all you're doing in the world. And I don't know anyone that works harder and is out there that much that much and has so much love and passion and compassion for everybody. And I want to thank you for your brilliant work. And this big event you have coming up in June. I'm like, oh my god, you're really you're doing it. You're doing it.

SPEAKER_03 13:17

Thank you. Anyone else?

SPEAKER_04 13:19

Thank you for sharing of yourself and sharing your story and being raw and real and speaking the truth. So thank you.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

You know, I loved what you said about what passes you by was never meant to be, and that what is meant to be, you will it will never pass you by. And I don't know the words exactly what you said, but I felt your absolute conviction. And that really that got me right in my heart. And um, thank you. I I needed to hear that.

SPEAKER_03 13:53

Thank you, and I'll repeat it for you. What is meant for you shall never pass you by, and what passes you by was never meant for you. And I'll tell you something, I'll share this with you all, and I said this before many times on my podcast is that I learned this in 2021, and I used to walk my dogs through the mountain, and many of times I'm working hard. It's a simple thing, my book Meli and the Pandemic, because the graphics was taking so long to come out, and I was so excited about it because I actually wrote the book within a couple of days, but then the graphics to go with it, everything had to go together, and every single time, you remember what is meant for you to pass you by and what passes you by was never meant for you. At this time, I just want to shout out some people. We have the amazing Dr. Nimpu Kamu Hall. She was on for she was on the past conference. Forgive yourself. Ra, you are so right about accepting that what is meant for us will find us. That and that what doesn't find us is not meant for us. Thank you for joining in. We have Angeli, who is going to be on the next conference. Congratulations on today 45 is the trauma talks. Not everyone gets this blessing. This is so true. I found out just recently that and actually I'm 48 and I'm loving it. Music therapists, here we go along. Fantastic. We have Jean is watching us. All those of you who are watching, thank you so much. And if you guys don't have any other questions, I would love to introduce the other speaker. Anyone else want to add anything? Yes, I have a question, Ram. Sure, Terry.

SPEAKER_05 15:37

Okay, so um, first of all, congratulations on the fact that you have made 12 years in your common senator remund. And then just you know, the the your whole common. Um we're number lumen, and whatever it is that you've come through, there's someone out there that can identify with them, that there's someone out there that can receive your mentality, or that your someone is a person for someone else and numb that they, you know, that they feel alone in the world and what they're going through. So, first of all, thank you so much for them, and congratulations. So, among them numbers, when you were just like the the question that you had asked, Miss Susie, which is the in-between going into the start of your first conference? What was it that did it for you that said you want to take your message to the next level and start producing conferences and communications for people to chime in with you? You know, what was that when you realize, okay, the past is the past, it's whatever it is. The future is what I can focus on. That in between, because now we're in your future from when you were in that place. This is the result. So, that in-between, what was it for you that put you in a place of going forward onto your next level?

SPEAKER_03 17:19

Well, that's an amazing question because at the end of the day, is it was the journey is never ending. And if I go back to that time in 2023, in January of 2023, um the conference was supposed to happen on March 31st. So I'm just remembering, right? So um, you gotta bear with me here because this is this is this is it's is all the details, right? And um this first day morning, um, I got up and my dog ace, he um he was moving very slow, and the night before I took him out and everything was fine. And I looked at him, and even with his greenie and stuff, when you give him his greenie, he's always excited, and that day he didn't come. But long story short, was in the night time I took him out and he came back in very cargo, and I've been observing him. That only happened for that day, and then I go on my door, and I start telling him about all the conference and how it's gonna happen and how we're gonna have that AML pandemic is gonna come out, and I told him all my stories. Now it might be a little bit off for what you asked, but you asked for the in-between, right? Yes, and that night my dog died on my life. And I think that the people that was in my group helping me with the conference, which I was grateful for, which they were total failures, that they could just talk, and I can say this clearly because of what happened. But at the end of the day, was that was very chaotic, and I did not know that I was grieving while I was approaching this conference, while I never stopped, while I never stopped, keep going on speaking to people, telling them about this conference. I paid for 150 meals, breakfast and lunch, in a conference room, which was a ballroom at the Sheraton. But on that day, when the conference unfolded, I realized this is not me. I'm from New York City, and my city is Manhattan. The heart of the city is Times Square. And for me to hear this and feel this, the energy was not right. So I had to think bigger and beyond, and I wanted something that people can come out in abundance and know about it, and hence the reason we reach on a stage on Broadway in Times Square. Because I felt as though I don't want to be like everyone else. And yes, you do feel the stuck inside when something is not right for you. See, I am I am Susie knows this, I'm a little perfectionist, and if things do not come out the way I want, I go crazy on myself. So you think about that, that whole in between was chaotic, and what keeps me going further is because the vision of letting others understand right about now, we're about to give away tickets for our mental health conference coming up on June 11th. I'm talking about you can't beat going to a theater on Broadway and getting a ticket for$40 to come out and see two Grammy winners like Jerry Wonder, who produced The Fujies, who produced Lauren Hill, Shakira, Lady Gaga, and the list goes on and on with over 200 million albums. So you think about where my stage has reached. We have Paul Anthony from Full Force, and you have him coming to tell his story of beaten cancer three times. You can't beat that. We have a fifth president of Trinidad and Tobago who's supporting this conference, who endorsed this conference. You can imagine when you're speaking to someone of that authority, and they tell you, rah, I endorsed this conference. You your body goes through chills at that moment. As I say, your moments, no one can take that away from you. And while, as you said, and your question, I'm not swaying away, but it's always the details, is that you keep working towards it being better because you have to know. You can't look at the lady down the street and say she does a virtual event every two weeks, and I want to be like her. No, you have to be you, you have to be original. As we are all in a book, you, myself, Susie, The Art of Connection, 365 Days of Resilience. And one of my quotes in here is be original, be you. And that helps.

SPEAKER_05 22:02

Wonderful. Wow. So the the catalyst was a trauma for you that made you realize that bigger and there's far more reach than you were just imagining in that moment, which is which is pretty spectacular to be able to move that energy into a purposeful event moving you forward and creating opportunities for yourself to go bigger and for other people to witness that and have a blueprint and understanding that whatever it is for them that makes them who they are, their originality, their authenticity can go go out there and make a difference in the world.

SPEAKER_03 22:51

And the main thing is every single person, the every single person, Terry, who comes on have to have that understanding when they hear Yvonne's story, they hear Sharon's story, they hear Susie's story, or they hear your story, they hear Dr. Jen's story, they know that you are not alone. And that's the main story of every single one of the stories we share. Anyone else? Dr. Jen, you're very quiet today.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Yes, just taking it all in. I'm taking notes over here.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

Just like Dr. Tash. I actually miss her today. She's actually flying to Kenya, so she had some delays or some little mishaps with her flight. So apparently she's not here yet. Maybe she might join us, or maybe not. But thank you all so much. So let's do this. I'll