Acceptance: The Healing Power of Feeling Everything

Sharyn Nichols — a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Life Guide with over 30 years of experience — brings a deeply grounded, holistic perspective to the meaning of acceptance. Blending yogic traditions, Human Design, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Kundalini Yoga, she helps people reconnect with their mind, body, and spirit in ways that create real, lasting healing.

Sharyn speaks about the courage it takes to feel your emotions fully, the importance of understanding your personal signs of stress, and the tools that help challenge negative thoughts. With warmth and compassion, she explains how acceptance begins with awareness — and how awareness leads to peace.

Drawing from her own journey, she shares the moment she learned to stop repeating the same painful cycles and finally discern what she could control and what she needed to release. Her message is gentle but powerful:
Healing begins the moment you stop running from yourself.

This talk is grounding, emotional, and deeply human — a reminder that acceptance is not a destination, but a return to who you truly are.

#Acceptance #HolisticHealing #MindBodySpirit #SharynNichols #EmotionalAwareness #HealingJourney #YouAreNotAlone #MrTraumaTalks #RahSpeaks #MentalHealthPodcast #KundaliniYoga #HumanDesign #CBTTools #InnerPeace #EmotionalHealing

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:06

You know, I have this saying that says, When God cannot come, he sends, and many lives by that, many knows that saying, and many different ways. You ever look at a movie or something with an angel, and you see this angel come in the right time, but the angel is a human being. See, many of times people miss that. They miss who other angels just sent for that moment. It doesn't mean to say a person with big white wings is gonna be coming to fly down to help you. See, just this week I realized my little angel was my nephew recently. And when I tell you this, you have to actually look into it. So here we go. Because I'm like really hard-headed. If I need something, I wait till it's actually missing, missing, missing to get it. So my nephew comes over and he wants he was on spring break and he wants to play video games. Mostly that's the only time I'll play. So to play these video games with our Xbox, we need batteries, right? And Uncle Rain buying no batteries. So we go to get just two batteries, and I decided when we went to the um the deli to pick up the batteries, it was$4.99 for four batteries. So I was like, wait, we could go to Walgreens and we could get more batteries. So we said, yeah, Uncle Ra, let's go to Walgreens. Picked up this whole entire box of batteries. So we used four for the remote control. I think we have like around eight put down here because it was like a dozen of them. So little did I know the TV remote went out, not thinking. I know it has batteries, and I pop it in. There we go. A little bit later on, the mouse goes out, and again, just grab a battery and put it in. But the worst is when it happens. So I'm typing away, I'm sending an important email, and I'm just typing away, and all of a sudden, it's not working. Oh my god, what happened? The battery died too. But while I was about to change it, it hit me. Bruh, if that child did not come here, or if he did not come to be with me, I would not have had those batteries to be able to continue my work. So you sometimes you look at the small things, you know, to tell you small steps is your success, and you count them and you count your blessings as they go along. Well, you look at the people in your life at times ascent for the right reasons. And here we are today, we're surrounded by amazing people with lived experience who continues their journeys in life to continue to help others. I would by saying that, let me introduce my next amazing guest. Wow! So I did not know how exactly, Sharon, to put this smaller than this, because we just had you on mental advice, and you will be on amazing. Your energy, your aura, it's just so great. That here we go. So, my next speaker on here, and not just a speaker, she's an angel that brings over 30 years of experience as a licensed marriage and family therapist and life guy. She blends yoga traditions, yes, yoga traditions, human design, CBT, and kundalini yoga. Yes, again, kundalini yoga, to help people reconnect with their mind, their body, and their soul. Also, let's not forget their spirit. She creates a safe, compassionate space where people can feel their emotions, break all patterns, and finally choose a peaceful place. Please, every one of you, put your hands together and welcome the amazing, the talented, the beautifully heart-centered Sharon Nichols.

SPEAKER_05 4:37

Thank you so much, Ra. I really, really appreciate this opportunity to speak. So, your mind is not your friend. I know that sounds harsh, but think about it. A good friend would not wake you up at 3 a.m. to ask, did you lock the door? Even though you checked it twice. Good friend would not replay that embarrassing thing you said in 2003, that like it happened 10 minutes ago. And a good friend would not walk into a room with you and whisper, everyone's judging you. But that's what your mind does. Not because it doesn't like you or it hates you, but because it's trying to protect you. And your mind's job is to keep you safe. And safe usually means familiar. Even when familiar is anxiety, overthinking, people pleasing, and saying, I'm fine, when you are not fine. So here's the shift: feelings are not facts, feelings are real, they're signals, but they're not proof. So when you learn, when you learn to tell the difference between what you feel, what you assume, and what's actually true, then everything can change. Everything changes. I'm licensed marriage and family therapist, Sharon Nichols, an integrative guide. And I love to help high-functioning people stop telling the stories, stop living in the stories their minds tell them so they can feel what's real, heal what's underneath, and live aligned to the truth of who they are. So that leads me to acceptance, since that's today's topic, and living from the truth of who you you are, who I am. So acceptance is not what most people think it is. It's not giving up, it's not agreeing with what happened, it's not saying this is okay. Acceptance is the moment that you stop fighting reality. And when you stop fighting reality, something unexpected, unexpected happens. You can breathe, you can take a breath. Because what most of us don't realize is this: we're not carrying just what happened to us, we are carrying the fight against it. The resistance, the this shouldn't have happened, the why me, the I need to fix this before I can feel okay. And that fight is exhausting. Acceptance is the moment that the fight softens. Not because everything makes sense, not because anything or everything is resolved, but because something in you says, I can't keep doing this to myself. And that's where everything can begin to change. So, what's the cost of not accepting? Because most people live here in the quiet resistance. They look fine on the outside, they're functioning, they're showing up, they're doing what they're supposed to do. Like most of us, our our all the people on this panel, and probably most of you listening, I'm going to assume are high-functioning people. You're just looking for that one little bite, that one little piece that's going to help you get unstuck. Because internally we're stuck. Stuck in our stories, stuck in pain, stuck in the patterns that we don't understand. And underneath all of it is one belief. This should not be my life. The shoulding. Although it is. And the longer that we fight that truth, that I fight that truth, the more we suffer. Because pain is what happened. Suffering is the story we keep telling about it. And acceptance is where the suffering starts to loosen. What acceptance actually is, is it is not passive. Acceptance is active. It's the moment you turn towards yourself instead of away. It's saying, This is what I feel, this is what happened, this is where I am, without immediately trying to fix it, explain it, or escape it, or stuff it down. And that can be uncomfortable. Because most of us were never taught how to just sit with ourselves, how to sit with our feelings. And we were taught to push through, to stay busy, to be positive, to just get over it. How many times have we heard just get over it? Here's the thing: you can't heal something if you won't allow yourself to feel. Acceptance creates the space, and that space is where healing happens. I also have a podcast called Feel to Heal with Sharon Nichols because I'm all about being in the space of feeling. And I also wrote a book called Feel to Heal: Living from Your Authentic Self and the Truth of Who You Are. Because there's a moment in everyone's life where something shifts, where there's that opening, where's that that that allowing? And it might not look dramatic, it might not even be obvious. So it's that moment where you stop asking, why is this happening to me? And you start asking, why is this happening for me? That's acceptance. Not as an idea, but as a lived experience. It's the moment you stop abandoning yourself and instead you stay, you stay in the feeling with the discomfort, with the truth, with what's actually there, with what's exactly who you are. And that staying, that's where changes, that's what changes everything. So I spent years believing that I shouldn't feel the way that I felt. I, when I was eight years old, my parents sent me to therapy because they couldn't understand why I wasn't happy. I had two parents who loved each other. I had I had a roof over my head, I had food in my in my belly, I was an active, cute little girl. They couldn't understand why I was feeling the way that I felt. Acceptance also means letting go. It's letting go of who you thought you were supposed to be, the version of you that had it all together, the version of you that didn't struggle, the version of you that never had to face what you've had to face. And then you can that, and that you can feel like a loss. But what's actually this is is actually an opening. Because when you stop trying to be someone you're not, you finally have the space to become who you are. Not the story, not the expectation, not the performance, the truth, the truth of who you are. So, what happens after you actually accept yourself? So people think that acceptance is actually the end. It's not, it's the beginning. Because once you stop fighting reality, you can finally work with it. You can feel what's real, you can understand what's underneath, you can make choices that come from clarity instead of fear. Acceptance doesn't remove the pain, it removes the resistance. And when resistance softens, healing can begin. So that's what this space is, that's what this conference has been all about. It is this moment, a moment where all of us are choosing to tell the truth, to share what's real, to stop hiding. Every person, everyone who's spoken today and will be speaking, I am assuming, have heard, has walked through something. Not perfectly, not cleanly, but honestly. And that honesty, that's acceptance in motion, from sound healing to lived stories, to clinical insights, to personal truth. This is what healing looks like: not polished, not perfect, real. So, what do you actually do with this? Because acceptance isn't just something you understand, it's something you practice. The next time something comes up for you, this is I do this all the time. I'm constantly focusing on my breath. So pause, take a pause, receive a breath, and ask yourself, what am I actually fighting right now? Then name what you're actually feeling. Okay, you're not fine, you are you're stressed. What's actually here? And then gently say, ask yourself, what is the truth? What is your truth? Is this actually real? Remember, your mind is not your friend. Your mind is going to keep you safe. Your mind is gonna want to keep you in the loop to keep you safe. So your mind is gonna keep telling you all of these things to keep you safe that aren't actually truths of who you are. So instead of trying to fix it, see if you can allow it. Just even for a moment, because in that moment is where acceptance begins. So here's the invitation. If you've been carrying something, if you've been fighting yourself, even if you've been waiting for a sign, because those angels are out there, like Ra said, let this be it for you. Not a sign to fix everything, but a sign to stop fighting, to soften, to listen, to stay, even just a little, even if it's just a little more than you did before. Because acceptance is not something you arrive at once, it's something you return to again and again and again. So here's the thing: you don't have to have it all figured out, you don't have to be okay, you don't have to be anywhere other than exactly where you are, because that's the truth. Acceptance is simply the moment you allow that to be true, and in that moment you can come back to yourself, you come back to yourself. Acceptance doesn't change your past, it changes your relationship to it, and that's what sets you free, and that is where the healing begins. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 19:39

Wow, thank you. Very, very powerful, very, very powerful. You connected up everything so nicely. Acceptance tells you that's your truth, it tells you that's your lived experience, you have to accept it.

SPEAKER_05 19:55

So we do can't change the past, and we can't live in the future, we have to live in the here and now, in the present.

SPEAKER_03 20:05

Well, I there was this time I did something stupid because my aunt asked me to make a phone call to her um her boyfriend's wife, and I was a teenager, and I remember doing it, and this guy coming home from school, big dude, like you know, big. Think about it, he looks like a gorilla, and he comes up to me and slams me on a gate, pulls up in his car while I'm walking home. It's like for days I'm thinking every time, every time I have nightmares of this guy coming again and doing this thing to me, or what what it feels like and how it's gonna be and whatnot. And I guess as it says, right, somehow inside you have to learn that, let that go. Number one, I wouldn't have been getting in that trouble because you gotta reflect and understand, I wouldn't have gotten that trouble if I didn't do that in the first place. And number two is alright, cool. That happened at that moment, as wrong as it was, but you can't live in that fear. See, I was asked early on, and I didn't answer this question yet, and uh no it's your time for bringing in this one here. This is your clip for all this together.

SPEAKER_05 21:19

Oh, my clip, okay.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

What I have for you, it's basically your little talk coming in together with with the panel, and she asked, um, if I go back today and meet these 15 boys that bullied me and beat me down to the ground, how it would be. So the the the the the coolest part is the the one of my friends, a boy who brought me outside for the group to beat me up just the day before, I gave him lunch. Right? And then moving further, I had to stay there in that class for a whole year with them. And there was you know. Was always times that I always share something with them. I helped them with what with their work. Do something like that. Like when I reflect on my life and through all things I've been through, like I like I'm a strange person in this world because people would not do the things I do. So like I had learned to let go of those things since I think since I was a teenager. At that moment, you wanted the world of hate for them, right? You you and plus I'm a kid. So you're thinking a million things that you want to do. Go outside, get stones, pelt them with it, do a million different things at that time. Later on, I learned that one of the guys, time I got to secondary school before getting into college, I understand that he that one of the guys who who actually instigated the whole thing, he went to jail before he even made it to um thing. So at the end of the day, somehow it plays off. Uh, you know, who has to be punished be is punished, and what has to happen to you is all your story afterwards. Destiny is already written and it comes here, accepting it, how it is that you move forward and heal from it. I guess that's that's the part. But to answer that question is I really never hold on to it. It's part of my story, it's for someone else who is going through that or who has been bullying a bullying. We talk about just recently on trauma behind the glamour as well, with a comedian. And there's nothing wrong in my eyes, there's nothing wrong with this girl. And you should hear the type of things that these cyber trolls, these cyber bullies would say to her. You get what I'm saying? So bullies, so people who are in the same situation as me, or maybe worse, who have been bullied in the past, not just saying you are not alone to think that okay, he's just bypassing it. No, I feel you, I understand you. It's bad, but you gotta get up, you gotta dust it out, we gotta move.

SPEAKER_05 24:01

No one gets out of their childhood unscathed. We've all had our own traumatic experiences, even if they're little or big like yours. And so it gives us our stories, they are what actually make us. So it's truly it's about accepting our the story. If you want to go even a step further with acceptance, it's a it's accepting your story, and then of course, hindsight is 2020. Had you had had you been a different person at the time, you would have reacted differently. And then also, you know what the energy of revenge and anger, and you know, anger and stress, and that's what causes the dis-ease. So we're we're all saying the same thing, and we're all moving towards the same place, which is healing ourselves. And again, like you said, we're not alone. So, and we need we know we need to do it all together. So that's why that's one of the main reasons why I said yes to working with you, Ra, is because you're about community, you're about bringing us all together so we all get the message that we're not alone.

SPEAKER_06 25:19

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_05 25:19

And you've gotten you've gotten some really awesome experts to to share their stories and then and then give give give tips as to how to heal, because it's all about healing, at least from my perspective.

SPEAKER_03 25:37

Thanks so much. You said you, you know, I just was telling my mom about this. I was like, oh my god, you know, your trauma talks has excelled to a part whereas now we have such amazing therapists, amazing professionals in the in the mental health world, can come on here and give such insights, like all of you, you know what I mean? The lived experience that everyone shares, it it really tells people a story that's in depth. Like recently, we are looking at um you talk about childhood trauma, right? And I this is not to bring in who is to blame or who is not to blame, but right in New York City, um, they had the um the kid, 15-year-old, stumping on a on a girl's head, she was on the ground, and and then you know, so the next day you're reading the story about the mother and what she's saying, how he was fed up of it. He she he was being bullied. So she's walking away, and the I saw the reporter asking her, so you think it was okay for your son? It's not okay for your son to do that, she knows that. But what do you want her to say at that moment? But she's telling you he was bullied, he was bullied and pressured into a point. Some people just can't take it, they flip off their minds. He's young, you know. Most of the times, this is why they put them into juvie. Some of some people who commit crimes at young ages, so they could get the training they need, they can get the help they need to mold them into the right place. But again, we don't know what was happening at that moment, and you can't put the pressure on someone else who doesn't even know, as well. So let's bring up everyone because I'm sure they have a quick question for you, and we have one more speaker. Relate to her, she's so amazing.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

I want to say how specific to what was just said, how relatable you are, and how human you are, and how much you didn't just use the words about feelings. I I really connected when you were talking about them. And that to me is so important to create a feeling of safety and trust. So just your persona and who you show up as when you talk about your work is why I would want to work with you or send people to work with you. And so that's really uh like a testament to um healing work. So yeah, I'm really glad to have been able to listen to your talk today. Thanks.

SPEAKER_05 28:14

Thank you. I appreciate I really do appreciate it because I loved yours.

SPEAKER_06 28:17

I loved your talk, and I've and I've had similar, similar experiences in in childhood as you. So yeah, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, definitely you you spoke to my heart. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 28:31

Thanks.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

What's astounding to me hearing everyone's stories is how um such beautiful people as are in this room. So many of you say came so close to leaving the planet. And young people, especially at the age you were when um you felt so unworthy, and and those thoughts of suicide were so present, and somehow you were diverted, makes me feel like what a burden we all have to make sure that people in crisis get our help so that they can they can know that there's more to come and that things are gonna turn around. Your stories are just like, I mean, what a loss it would be to the world if each of you weren't here.

SPEAKER_06 29:37

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 29:45

Google ahead, you guys can ask your questions.

SPEAKER_02 29:47

It just got me choked up. It's so true, though. Is that the um it's sad that we all have to go through these things, but because you went through all of that, you're the angel that's gonna help everybody because they only want to talk to people that get where they've been, and you've been there, and it's hard that you had to go through that, but you're gonna help so many people because of that. And I love what you said, this is what healing looks like, you know, like it's it's gonna be messy because sometimes people don't realize they're healing. You think, well, I should just be better, you know. So that you're letting people know no, this is this is what it looks like. They they need that guidance, so I love you and what you're doing. Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

And and for me, I have this is something that I had shared with Rama when he had in his article had expressed his being in a dark place after so much trauma in the early childhood years. And that was relatable for me with him sharing that that I had experienced things as well to lead me to a place to be in a pit of darkness to where I also, as what you shared, attempted to take my own life. So it does take it it's like Ram just had expressed. Sometimes you get to a place where you just lash out. Sometimes the lashing out is outward towards other people, and sometimes it's inward to ourselves. And when you're in that hole where you're thinking there isn't another way, and it's for yourself, and then you're on the other side of it to where you made that choice, and you're on the other side of it, and you're like, now I'm here, and what do I do with that? It's those choices after that is either excuse my she's like a cat appear. But it's those choices afterwards that can define the rest of our lives. And so thank you all for sharing everything that you've shared and for making the choices to continue on the journey of representing what healing looks like as every single one of us and Ron putting the platform together and actually coining himself as Mr. Trauma Talks, like wearing exactly what he's talking about on his sleeve, like to say this is what it looks like, opening the doors to say what it looks like on the other side of the choices of those traumas, and not to dismiss any traumas too. Some people mistake them. And so think, you know, thank you for your candor and the fact that you're willing to be open and step into the limelight to say this is what it is, this is what's happened to me. And every time someone does that, it allows someone else to know they're not alone and that they're safe to share with someone. They don't have to feel safe to share with the people in their immediate circle because sometimes we we don't have that safety. We don't have safety in our own homes, safety in our own bodies, safety in our own communities. We have to create that. And sometimes that songless comes from people that author books and going into books. The library is one of my favorite places to go because I know that there are people out there that cared enough to share their story to allow me to be able to delve in to their stories, whether it's in research material or fiction, it doesn't matter what it is. It allows an escape as well as refuge, as well as information and education. And so, you know, thank you all for everything that you've shared. And thank you, Rom, for setting out on your journey of healing to allow for a platform for others to know that healing is possible and you don't have to do it alone. So thank you.

SPEAKER_03 33:54

Well, thank you because we are excited to hear your talk coming up right after this. Dr. Jen or Michelle, want to add anything?

SPEAKER_07 34:04

Yes, Sharon. I took copious notes. I've already followed you on Instagram.

SPEAKER_06 34:10

And I will follow you back. I haven't had a chance. Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 34:14

I'm gonna win it. My favorite thing that you said, this gives me chills, acceptance is active, right? It's so simple, but it's like people a lot of people think that acceptance is this just sort of passive thing, like, oh, this crap happened to me and it just is what it is. No, when you actively work to accept it, to integrate it, to understand it, I I I really think that's where the healing happens. Just letting it sit there and and collect cobwebs, like it doesn't do us any good. We have to put the story out there and and let someone help us actively engage. Because when you're in the muck and the mire of it yourself, you can't see the force for the trees, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:01

For sure.

SPEAKER_07 35:02

Actively engaging with someone else. I mean, I think that's that's kind of a depiction of doing the work in therapy or any other form of healing. So I love that idea of it being such an active process.

SPEAKER_05 35:16

That's why your mind is actually not for you. Your mind is actually for the for someone else, for for the other, because you do need someone else's mind, mind, if you will, to to for you to see that you can move through this, that you don't have you can you can clear the cobwebs. So it's we're we're all in this together. I do not think that I am any different than any of you. I just have had my own experiences, you've had yours, and we've all learned to deal with, live with, be with, all of it. And and I have made peace with a lot of my past, you know, even the the experiences that were forced on me, and then the choices that I actually made. Because it's it's it I truly do believe that that's actually what's going to bring me peace or joy or satisfaction or or even success. It's it's those things, and so and if I can do it, so can anyone else. Like I'm not, I'm not the only one. This is not just for Sharon, this is for every human on the planet. So thank you, because it's truly just it's about moving. And there's here's the other thing that I really do know is that there is stability in change.

SPEAKER_07 36:48

Wow, change is that's counterintuitive. Yeah, counterintuitive.

SPEAKER_05 36:52

Yes, yes, it is, except change is always happening, so that's stable, that's constant, that's a truth, that's a construct. So if you feel like shit, excuse me, if you feel like crap this one moment, just take a breath because it can change. You don't have to feel this way forever. We just assume that we if we feel we assume that when we have the good feelings, the happy ones, that they're supposed to stay forever, and we get upset when they change. So thank you. Sorry, I will get off of my sofa.

SPEAKER_07 37:35

No, I can see your passion for this. It's lovely.

SPEAKER_06 37:38

Yes, it's lovely. I do, I do. Yeah, I love it. Thank you. Thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 37:45

Rod say this all the time. There's a Bollywood movie called Three Idiots, and these three guys create this song in the movie called All Is Well. So when things go bad, they tap their hand in their heart and they're gonna go, All is well, all is well, all is well. The all all is well is all is well, it is temporary, it's going to happen. It's good, it's there, you accept that, you keep can't do anything about it at that time. You just go with the flow. I love this, and I said this, I learned it with the pandemic to help people understand it. Change just like that, it's inevitable, it happens every single day of our life. We change from an in from a baby to an infant. Hey, let's go back in the womb of your mom. You came out of there in a different way. And look at you today. Think about you, look at those beautiful faces, look at who you are, look at how you're inspiring the world, every single one of you. So I know I was introduced to Sharon by Yvonne Choctsy. Yvonne, anything else you want to add something quickly?

SPEAKER_04 38:55

No, I'm I'm just um yeah, just in awe of the people who came and the magnetic energy you have around a topic that can heal. It's gonna be like concentric circles going out, out, out into the world. And I just feel privileged to be in your circle, Ra, and thank you like others have for the work you're doing.

SPEAKER_03 39:21

Thank you so much, and thank you for introducing me to your amazing circle of speakers. I was introduced to Yvonne by the amazing Susie, and we from there, it just trickles down. This little group from Suzy, I got to meet Terry. We all met at again our number one international best seller. 365 days of resilience. And listen, these amazing people have amazing quotes in here, and it's all about their lived experiences.