51 - Ashley Ross Pt 2: It’s Okay to Make Mistakes

Continue with nurse and Arizona native Honored Guest Ashley as she talks about how support in nursing school makes all the difference, praying with her patients, being your own worst critic vs. your number one advocate, having hype friends, making med errors, asking questions, putting patient safety first, the beauty of nursing as a career, sappers vs. zappers, and more!

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Transcript

0:01

All right, we're jumping back into part two of the Ashley Ross experience. So Ashley, it took you a little while to get on board with the two -part episode. Would you mind telling people what you told me in our little break there? Well, Eric, you managed to cut out for a good 20 seconds and all I heard was, okay with that Ashley? And I said, sure, sure, why not? There it is unbridled trust I'm grateful I've earned at least that much cuz golly she's like I don't know what I'm signing on for but okay I literally what I What I'd actually asked asked you is will you send me a check for $2 ,000? Thank you very much. You said sure so everybody heard it. It's a it's a done deal The address is I'm just kidding Okay, so very briefly for those of you that are jumping into this episode. Maybe didn't hear the first. This is Ashley Ross an outstanding nurse and now nurse practitioner who originally obtained her nursing degree about 14 years ago as our nursing math took a little took us a little while to figure that one out. But I've had the pleasure of knowing her at least that long about 15 16 years or so. And so if you want to catch her life story, her nursing journey, her particular nursing journey and all that, please jump back into episode one. Come back to this one. She's definitely worth the listen. with that, we'll move forward because at the end of that last episode, Ashley, you talked about, the question was, I laid the question on to you. What is it that you are looking at doing in the future? So for those, for the benefit of those that were not at the end of the last episode, what is it that you're planning on doing now that you've become a nurse practitioner and all these things? What are the things you're thinking about doing with your degree? you know, simply my goal in life is always just to be, what would Eric do next? And Eric tells me I should teach. I wear a bracelet that says, you what would Eric Miller do? And Eric Miller has always told me since I was a little girl that I should become a teacher. No, I've always wanted to. I've always wanted to teach. So. plan to just be there for other nursing students. I think that I've done my fair share of teaching patients and I love what I do, but at the same time, your podcast has really reminded me of how much and how important it is that nursing students have support, that they have somewhere that they can go to, you know, to to receive guidance, to be told, hey, you are enough, you are gonna get through this. these are my tips, these are my tricks, these are my words of encouragement. And I've always wanted to teach nursing students. And I think that that'll probably be in my near future, working just with. I starting out as a faculty, I'm not ready to be like a professor or anything, just starting in the realm of supporting other students like the ones that you have interviewed thus far and maybe. I don't know, maybe start my own business one day. We'll see. You've heard it here first. No, no, I love it. And I love the fact that, I mean, so for you, if you don't mind my asking then, is that something you knew very early on as a nurse, very early on as a nursing student, or were there like seeds of that even before you decided becoming a nurse, as far as that teaching aspect is concerned? you know, I, I wanted to be a teacher when I was really little or a lawyer or, you know, who knows? just, I loved, I've always loved teaching and helping other people and, just helping people understand. I think that's, just been a passion of mine because it's, it's important that people feel supported during, during difficult times. And nursing is one of those times, nursing school is one of those times where, you need all the support you can get. And I feel like I, If I didn't have you or other other people in my nursing career who did support me I don't think I would have made it through And now I'm just I kind of at a point too where I've been taking care of sick people for so long that I think would be just a good change up in my in my mind my brain in my emotional healing just to just work in in something else where Where I'm not you know on a journey of hope and healing, but more so just on a journey of hope with other nursing students. And yeah, it will be a breath of fresh air, something new, easier on the mind. because it can take a toll, you know, caring for people who are sick or really, really sick. Well, if you don't mind, if you don't mind opening the door and being a little vulnerable, then we'll take a quick sidestep before we return to this conversation. But you talk about that, about that, how that and I've talked about it on the podcast too, about just, you you recognize burnout, you recognize, know, that's the easy way to describe it. But it's more than that. It is, it's a heavy toll on the heart, on the mind, especially when you care for people like the way that you do. And you see these people that you care about who are, you know, undergoing these cycles of either, you know, pain or or destruction or ill health or whatever the case may be or the downtrodden and no access to healthcare and I mean all of that, all of that can weigh on you. So how have you over the years done your best to protect yourself, not to necessarily protect yourself, but to help yourself while, you know what I mean, again, you got the self care, you've got the support systems, all that, those are the easy. terms for this business, what have you done to personally take care of yourself while taking care of others? I know that I've touched on this a little bit before, but I think that my faith has always been there for me to get me through difficult times. Even, you know, as I attended Gonzaga, I found a local church and a few of us would go every Sunday and just having that outlet of knowing, you know, God's got my back whenever I need to talk or if I need to just give off all of the burden that is sitting and weighing on your shoulders. I think that spiritual health is just as important as physical and emotional. If it wasn't for my faith, I think that I would struggle a lot more in life and not be able to cope as well as I have been. Coping is very, very important because if we don't have the right coping skills, then it is so easy to go down rabbit holes of addiction or of poor health or you know, no longer is it an issue of like preventative medicine, you know, you've already now you're looking at comorbidities and other health concerns that didn't have to be there to begin with if we just had the right outlet and source to fuel our hearts, right? We have to protect our hearts and thank God has been that for me. I think praying with my patients, you know, I do it all the time. I think I probably mentioned God or some form of, and I tell patients all the time, know, not necessarily God, but being able to rely on a spiritual being, someone that you can give all your fears and worries and anxiety to and know that they're gonna be casted out of you, that you are just gonna feel. you're going to light again, right? You're not going to have this heavy burden. You know, I talk about just praying, praying in general. You don't have to necessarily be praying to God, but you can pray and that alone, you know, tell patients if you're a journaling kind of person, journal it down. If you're an illustrator, draw it out. Whatever you're feeling, you have to be able to exert that and get it off your chest and all that negativity, know, the mind is a very powerful thing and if you can't, if you can't be your number one supporter, then there is Life is gonna be a lot harder if you can't if you don't love yourself and you don't support yourself and you don't wake up every day going I am enough I can do this I you know Whatever you tell your mind that you are that you will do that is what's gonna get you far in life Being negative being hard on yourself It's okay to be hard on yourself in a sense that you know you encourage yourself to do things that are maybe so out of your comfort zone But you have to be able to tell yourself that you can do this and you will do this. You absolutely will do it. 100%. I love that. I love that. And that's why, like, I... It's hard enough, and this is almost pulling all the way back to the first episode, because it's hard enough if you, like, here, we've established in your first episode, you know, you have a huge support system. Large family love you, support you, they're there for you, and yet I'm willing to venture that you, like me and the rest of us, are willing to say you've had those moments in life where you're your own worst critic, yes? Absolutely. Yeah. And so having those times in our lives where, like you said, if you can't be your own number one advocate, and there are times where we can't be, then there has to be some outside source of encouragement, outside source of whatever, whether that's coming from God, coming from a support system, coming from your loved ones, coming from your significant other, fill in the blank. There's a misconception that then this forms some sort of dependency that you can't be yourself without the Help and assistance of others and guess what? I've got news for you You can't be who you're supposed to be without the help of others that whole you know You're not supposed to be an island. This isn't you can't you cannot do everything on your own and if you try then you may be successful for a period of time or for multiple periods of time, but at some point that's going to let you down because you will need someone in your life to say, hey, guess what? You can do it. It doesn't feel like it right now, but you can totally do that. Yeah, yeah, it's, Being human is hard, right? We struggle, but at the end of the day, you're right. All that matters are your higher power and relationships that you formed in life, because we are human and we are meant to form relationships and we are meant to trust and we are meant to be supported. It's a beautiful thing to have friends and people who care about you. And not everybody has to like you. I think I had to learn that in nursing school. You know what? It's okay that I'm not liked by this one person because that person may not be for me, right? You know, God tells us we should love one another and that's okay, but just because you are loving someone doesn't mean you have to be with them every day or surround yourself with people who are like -minded, who are encouraging, who are building you up. You want hype, you want hype friends. People are going to build you up and support you through your most difficult times and that's okay. You know, if you're having a bad day and you're having a bad month, a bad year, like it's not, it's normal. We all go through it, but you will come out stronger. You will come out braver and you'll come out a changed person, a new person. And then you get to go and you get to be that support for somebody else and you get to live and, you know, share your experiences with other people. think that's the number one coolest part about being an educator is sharing your experiences. Like, listen, you are not the only one who's feeling that way right now. We have all felt that way. And, yeah, it's, it's, it's great not knowing you're not the only one, right? You're like, It's very, very liberating. There's a freedom that comes with that. you know, yeah, like, hey, you're not, trust me, you're not the only one to make a med error. You know, I know other people that have, not me, but other people, you know what I mean? Like, that's right, I'm just kidding. No, you know, I freely tell my students, my peers about, you know, like med errors, things like that. I'm like, I'll tell you about one that just absolutely like, well, okay, I mean, we're here. This is your episode. be thinking about Ash, if you have a med error you wanna share that you've done in your own career. In the meantime, I'll share mine and I'll just put this out there for everyone to hear because this is my favorite story to tell students and someone who may be a new grad or even not a new grad who made a med error. I got one for you and it goes all the way back to nursing school, first of all, where I remembered our first semester instructor and I'll never forget that she had said, It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. So that's rule number one. And then rule number two, she goes, the other thing is you're gonna have this instinct to cover it up. That's gonna be your impulse. Don't do that. Be honest, learn from it, let others learn from it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I remember sitting in that class going, well, I'm a fairly stand up guy. mean, nobody's perfect. Nobody's whatever. But I try to be honest. I try to be especially when it comes to matters of profession in my career. if I'm, if I'm going to make a mistake, I definitely want to at least own up to that. So that's not going to apply to me. So then you fast forward a few years into my career and there's, we used to give a particular chemotherapy and with that chemotherapy, we would give this medication called Mesna. And Mesna, for anyone who has ever dealt with it, they know it has a particular odor to it. But the way I would describe it to my pediatric population was it's basically like a bladder bandaid. It covers the interior of the bladder so that your bladder doesn't hemorrhage. know, this chemotherapy has been known to cause problems with bladders. So this medication protects your bladder. So I have this particular patient and because of HIPAA, we won't get into too many details, but let's just say they already had bladder issues. and they were getting this chemotherapy and they were getting this mezna. And I was charge nurse that day, not that that's an excuse, but as charge nurse, anyone who's done that knows that there's added responsibilities on top of, know, usually you, you hopefully don't have a patient assignment, but I had this particular patient and I, you know, I did my original assessment, all the things, you know, getting calls on the phone, but okay, just bear with me. I'm going to assess you. And in my original assessment, this patient had a double lumen Hickman. For those that don't know, that's a central line like an IV, but it has two ports to it. So one is for fluids and the other one we were using for medications as a dedicated medication line. And so I hung my first dose of Mesna and then you give another dose. There's a dose that goes with the chemo. I don't want to get into all the boring details. Then you do another dose. And then after that dose, you do another dose four hours later. And so then I go in four hours later and same thing, charge nurse, do all the things, give the other dose of Mesna. So it gets to be... This is night shift. gets to be about one in the morning, two in the morning, three in the morning. I can't remember what it was. And I'm going in this patient's room and I'm like, man, there's, it doesn't smell like mezna. It just, there's a smell to it. And it's like, man, is it like, is there computer? Like, is there a laptop? Like it just smelled like something was burning a little hot and it didn't have that distinct mezna smell. So I'm like, all right. And so, whatever I'm trying to, you know, in the dark, I'm like, no, okay, the computer smells okay. Whatever. So you fast forward to about four in the morning and we're nearing the end of shift. And this patient calls out and they say, hey, Eric, I went to the bathroom and my floor was sticky. It was weird. I don't know. I'm going back to bed, but if you can fix it, that'd be great. Okay, I'll check it out. No big deal. I take my pen light and I shine it under the bed and it just illuminates this white sheen that is all over the floor. by the bed, under the bed, through the other side of the bed, and immediately my brain is like, what in the world is going on here? Like, I don't even understand. And so I'm trying to put two into it. I'd already had like one of my peers go in, like, hey, there's this weird smell, and their response when they came back out was like, well, yeah, I smelled something, but I mean, has the patient been like farting? I said, well, yeah, I mean, they actually farted once when I was in the room, so they're like, it's just that. So anyway, now I'm at the sheen, and I'm like, What in the world? And so critically thinking my way through, well, okay, that's gotta be from something. Turns out that the med line is looped up, and I don't know whether the patient, I can't explain it to this day. I don't know what happened, and I said this to the, well, we'll get there. But the med line, this tubing was coiled up and just hung up nice and neat on the handle. And so when I gave those doses of Mesna, they infused onto the floor, both of them, and hours ago. And I immediately was like, my gosh. And I just, I mean, it's the worst I've felt in my entire nursing career. Pit in my stomach. And I know that our doc was a, she's a very, still to this day, supportive doc, all the things. And I went, my first action was to go to the restroom, because I had to go to the bathroom. And so I just, I'm thinking this through. And I'm like, and I tell you what, Ash, as true as going back to that. very first day in nursing school, my first instinct was like, how can I cover this up? And it was like, it's so weird, because that's not what I go to. And I was like, I was so terrified about what the response would be to this. And I was like, no, I can't. It took me a second to like, okay, I'm not, this is not, that's not the right course of action. I'm going to own this. I'm going to call the doc. I'm going to, and I was terrified. I called her. says, hmm, okay. Well, let's order this lab, that lab, da da da, give another dose now and we'll follow through. Okay. I wasn't berated. I wasn't any of that business. And I emailed her the next day and I said, doc, I said, I want to thank you so much for not ripping me a new one about that mistake. I still, can't explain to you when I first assessed that patient, those tubes were hooked up. Everything was, I don't know. I have no, so thank you so much. And she wrote back, she says, Eric, you want to know why I didn't rip you a new one? Because I knew you'd be beating yourself up over it. So now it's time to let it go. Move forward. Hopefully the patient will be fine. And the patient ended up being fine and all the things. But even if they didn't, like, that's the worry you have when you care for others, right? And those are the things, like, there you are. There's Eric's primo med error. And I always told people, like, if I make one, I'm going to make it once. and I'm not gonna make it again. And I never did make that mistake again. And so that's the thing, we all do it. So Ash, do you have a story of your own to encourage people? This is kind of a weird tangent, but that's what we do here. Well, I'll have you know that that that too has happened to me. I mean, I think it's. Haven't everybody if you. You know. It is I actually I mean, this isn't the story I wanted to share with you, but I've I've punctured like IV like. Antibiotic bags and it just goes through the side of the tubing right and then it just leaks the whole out and then it just disperses all over the floor. I've had that. That's what happened to me. Not so much like not the tubing hooked up, but that it would just. leaked out, you know, the side of the bag. so now you see, always make sure. And I think this is like nursing one -on -one where they like make sure that patient is hooked up to the right lines, to the right thing. Like you're just always checking those lines. and it's, it's 100 % always so true. my first med error was as the first couple months out of nursing school, my first job, I should say, and I was on the floor and like I said, just me and another nurse and I'd have six patients. She'd have six, we had one tech. It was nighttime, I did night shift. So I remember, and we didn't have, like they didn't have medication where you would like scan the meds. Like this is back then, right? So I had to pull out the meds, match the med to the patient, you know? And what happened was is I had had my Mar, my paper Mar in front of me. And it said that the patient got, I it was like 300 milligrams of something. I want to say it was like an anti -fuscia medication from my memory, if it doesn't mean, okay. But, and I remember I didn't have it. And so had to call the pharmacy, can you set it up? And we had these, this tubing system where they'd send the tube to the top where your floor was at. You'd take it out of the tube and you'd take the medication out. And the bag that the medication came in, there was three pills in there. And I assumed. Again, this is must be what happened. I assumed that those three tablets was my dose. It was 300 milligrams. I thought it was 100, 200, 300. Each pill was 300 milligrams, but they had sent me up the whole, they had sent me up basically a few doses for the next couple of doses. So when I went in there and I gave, and it's so funny because as a nurse, you get this gut instinct before you make the mistake and you're something in your brain is telling you double check, double, triple check this because something is telling you this isn't right. but you're in such a hurry because you're trying to get things done on time, that you make, you make these mistakes. And, and I, again, never made this mistake again, like you said, because once you do it once, you're never going to do that again. but I gave the patient all three tablets and it was basically three times his dose. So instead of getting 300 milligrams of the drug, I want to say he got 900 and immediately. And I'm, I, so basically they got their whole dose for the day in one serving is how it came out too. Like that's basically what happened. So they were supposed to get it three times that day and said they got all three at once. And I, I'm the opposite, right? When I do something wrong, I have to tell somebody or it eats me alive, right? I cannot. It's so instantly it's two in the morning and I'm like, I'm going to call my director. I wake up my director in the middle of the night. I just made this horrible net error. I just triple dose this patient. I am so sorry. What do I do? She's like, calm down. Like calm down. You're going to just check. You're going to do the vitals every so often. You're going to check on it, you know, make sure. And I was just, I was devastated. I was like, I cannot believe I did that. I, you know, and the patient was okay. Like you, like you said, you know, patients, they do recover well after we make these errors. But at the same time, like it's, it's a lot for a person to go, you know, not The patient doesn't know any difference, right? But you did and you even had to come clean and say, listen, I just messed up. I just gave you triple the dose. Please trust that I will take care of you and make sure that these next few hours are crucial. We'll take, know, I'll monitor you. But, yeah, making that errors are very real things and being able to, to own them is very important. but with all walks of life, we all, all of us are going to. to make errors and I think it helps to come clean right away because if you don't, like I said, it's gonna dig at the pit of your tummy. Yes, it will. Yes, it will. And then on top of that, you don't get the opportunity to learn from that, nor do you give anybody else the opportunity to learn from that. And that's kind of the huge, you I remember having a practicum student who was a go-getter. Like there's some you got to like prod along. There are others that are like right paced. And then there are others and very few do I ever have where I've got to pull them back. Like, okay, I know you want to do everything today and this is day one. Let's... We're gonna get there, like hold on. And this particular student had given, had made a mid -air unbeknownst to me. It was at the end of a night shift, near the end of a shift, and then I saw them again, like, I don't know how many, three shifts later when they came back, and they had the worst attitude, and they were not known for having a bad attitude. I'm like, what, what is going on? And they said, you didn't hear. no, I didn't hear. They're like, I made a med error and I got called into the office at the school and da da. I'm like, well, it's nice of people to let me know that this happened because they didn't know at the end of their shift that they had made this error either. It was caught by the next day shift nurse. long story short, they gave an IV med orally. And again, same thing. They were in a rush at the end of shift trying to get things done and da da da da. And anyway, long story short, you know, they... to be able to walk somebody through that or to be able to be there and to, you know, that's the other part of owning what you do, right, Ash? Like you own that and then on top of that you can then go, hey, look. We've all been there. Here's what I've done. Let's you know what I mean? Like it's not the end of the world. Here's maybe it requires this that or the other. And and so I think that's an amazing thing. I know we've totally rabbit -trailed on this discussion of med -airs, but to see like to see you become like an instructor and to help students and things of that nature. You know what mean? That's that is a beautiful opportunity when you have someone who is going to go, hey, we've all been there as opposed to, hey, you idiot, how did you do this? You know what I mean? Because those people exist. Yeah, and that might be that person's, you know, make or break of whether or not they finish out their nursing journey. And that's just it. That's the whole purpose of this, right? Is that we are trying to keep people, like, protecting careers before they even have a chance to start. Yes, yes, absolutely. It's, it can be brutal out there. I've wanted to touch on this a little bit since we started, asking questions and putting patient safety first is going to be your number one, you When you're in nursing school, when you're a brand new nurse first out of school, never be afraid to ask all the questions. It's okay to ask questions. And if you have a practicum nurse who's getting upset because you're asking too many questions, that's okay because you want to make sure that you're being safe first because as long as you're safe and that you're following through with, something doesn't feel right. Like you have... You have intuition, you know that something's not right. know, ask the questions, go the extra mile to make sure that that is being, that's okay. Like I, I have a thought. I had a patient, we had this patient, she needed the catheter and the patient, her urethra was in through her vagina, which sounds crazy, but when it all was pushed to shove, that's what happened. Her anatomy was not. correct. And we had multiple nurses who were going in and trying to put in this catheter and they were unsuccessful doing so. But there are going to be times where you see your nurse do something too that's going to be unethical or not necessarily the right way. you'll see that with any career, there are rules that are bent and whatnot. But if you see something that's not okay, you know, it's okay to speak up about that too, because It's all about patient safety. That's why you're there. You're there for the patients, not for your other nurses, not for your peers, not for anyone but these patients. And you're taking care of them and you think of them as your mother or your father, your loved one, you would want them to receive the ultimate care. And as long as you are always being their advocate and that you are always putting that patient first, you will be a successful nurse. Like you are going to thrive in your nursing career because your patients are going to feel that. your patient's families are going to feel that, and people are going to feel comfortable trusting you with their loved ones. And that's gift is being able to be trusted. Very well said. People think when you hear you as being a patient advocate, as a nurse, a lot of people go right to like, well, when you're trying to get an order from a physician or a provider or this, that, or the other, and sometimes it's from other nurses. And it's a truth, it's a thing that happens, and whether it's because nurses are off that day or who knows. Point is, the number one... Like you're saying safety first and being that patient advocate, advocating for whatever it is that you're going, you know, something's not right here. I really feel like we need to step this that that up, whatever the case may be. I think you make a very good point there, Ashley. So if you don't mind then. Imagine you've got a room of nursing students, whether this is for clinical or for, you know, you're in a didactic classroom situation, it doesn't matter. You've got an audience of nursing students who are listening to you right now. What are some of the things that you, in the time we have remaining together, would want to share or would want these nursing students to walk away with? that's a great question, Eric. And I, I feel like I kind of touched on this earlier. but going through school, I think having someone that believes in you and who tells you that you're enough, you, you know, when you're going into nursing school, like, you know, why you're there. That doesn't mean that your instructor may not know why you're there or, know, whatever your, history is as to why you're getting into the field. It is meaningful and it is powerful. just have to be You have to be okay with making mistakes. You have to be okay with not being the best. You have to constantly be reminding yourself of why you're there, that there is a joyous end to nursing school, that it is gonna fulfill you. It is gonna be the best reward. It is gonna be the most fulfilling experience for years to come. Nursing is amazing because every day is different. Every day you're going to learn something new. Every day you're going to have a new experience. Every day you're going to impact somebody's life. The beauty that comes with nursing is it. It's unexplainable. can't, you can't. really make someone understand where it's like to be a nurse, but nursing It's a beautiful career. you don't do it for the money. You don't do it for, for anything other than you were meant to serve. Like you were meant to serve people. You were meant to, to bring hope and to bring light into a person's darkest times. And, and then, and if you, if you want to be a nurse, you're, you can do it. It's just, you know, It may take you five years instead of four. It may take you multiple times past your NCLEX. It may take you once and that's okay. Everybody is different. Everybody has lots of life and you will go through personal experiences that are going to impact your nursing school career, but just keep trucking, keep pushing through. You'll be able to look back on it one day and feel very accomplished. You will never forget it. Yeah. I think even a patient with Alzheimer's isn't going to forget their nursing experience. So it's that impactful, that impactful that it'll forever be ingrained and it'll shape the person that you are for the rest of your life. Yeah, very good. and how you treat others. It's the best career. You're talking to a couple of biased people here, but it is by far the best career. You can't get anything that's more challenging yet rewarding in all of the things. You know, Ashley, you touched on earlier. That's the other thing. know, take these, like I love that you say, it may take you five years. It may take you taking the NCLEX a few times. may, whatever, maybe you have to take a break and you gotta go do something in life and then you come back around to it. There was an honored guest that will, their episodes will come later. Well, no, actually, by the time you all hear this, you have already heard it. But the point is, is that this one person, they started out and they said, no, they ended up going the route of becoming an attorney and then came back around into nursing later in life. And it's just, there's nothing quite like being a nurse. And I think, too, the thing you touched on earlier, as far as like, you know, having that instructor or whoever, God forbid, tell you that you were not smart enough to be, maybe you're not smart enough to be a nurse while you're in nursing school. That's gonna sting. That's gonna hurt. And yet you can take that and go, yeah, you're right. I'm not smart enough. And you can quit. Or you can take that and go, no, you know what? I don't know. Was there any measure for you, of like wanting to prove that person wrong? Or was it just, did you just kind of derive motivation from that? I know this is gonna sound cliche, but if it wasn't for you and for other people who supported me, who saw me in action, right? Because on paper, yes, I maybe didn't do the best because I do struggle with test anxiety and I would know the information and I'd go in to take my tests and my mind would literally bleep like, and my instructors couldn't wrap their brown around that. They're like. You clearly didn't put in the effort, right? You clearly didn't study. And I'm like, no, that's not it. It's just when I would be sitting in that exam, my mind would not be able to recall information. But, you know, going over the answers afterwards with my clinical instructors, they'd be like, you're getting all the answers right. Like, why can't you do this during the test time? And I'm like, that's a great question. I've been asking myself this the whole time. It's a, I think it's. Yes, you are going to have those people who tell you you can't do it or that you're not smart enough, that you're not enough, but then you're also going to have people in your life who are going to encourage you and who are going to be your number one supporters. And those are the people, like I said, that you need to surround yourself with people who are going to support you. Yes, take what other people say as fuel, you know, let it enrage you, let it be that extra push to make you study maybe that hour or two more a night so that you can really prepare. But like I said, you have to go through life knowing that not everyone's going to like you, not everyone's going to support you. I think it's okay. You are going to find those people who are like -minded like you, who do know you, who understand you, who see your potential. And those are the people that you want to surround yourself with. the zappers, not the sappers. One letter difference, but that's it. It's the zappers and the sappers. Awesome, Ash. Well, because we just do things totally different here, I've now sat with you for almost an hour and a half, and I never once asked until now, what are the three words that you would use to describe nursing school, and why those three words? and why those three words? We'll start out with the, we'll end on the good words. We'll start with the, I would say first and foremost, worst word that comes to mind is grueling, right? Not only is nursing school hard, not only is it purely exhausting, but it is the greatest combination of those two words together. you really at the end of the day, when you're, when you're graduating, it doesn't even feel real. Well, it feels like you just woke up from this horrible nightmare and you wake up and you're like, wow. I mean, I mean, I would, I would have dreams that I wouldn't do my whole shift without seeing a single patient. And like, you know, that's the kind of, that's the kind of toll it takes mentally. It's draining. it's exhausting. So grueling would be my first word. Secondly, and I think I mentioned this earlier, was fulfillment. It fulfills my soul like, like just this this beautiful, ever consuming spirit that just gives you this Constant breath of fresh. I mean, I love being a nurse. I love taking care of people and it's just such a It's such a reward when patients families tell you how wonderful you are and how you know They couldn't have gone through it without you You just you feel like a million bucks, right? You feel like someone just handed you a million dollar check and said hey, thanks for being you And the last word I would would be a memorable, memorable like we've talked about several times today. You will never forget your nursing journey and you will always be able to relive it, retell it, share it with others and be grateful for it, right? It's one of a kind. It's one of a kind. I like that. It is definitely one of a kind. Well, Ash, in the closing moments, is there anything else that you haven't covered that you want to make sure that nursing student or fellow nurses or anything like that, any other words of wisdom you want to impart? You've imparted many already so far. Anything else you want to add to that? I think for nursing students, I really just want to tell them, you know, if you have a dream to go on to be a nurse practitioner, to be a nurse educator, to be an owner of a clinic or a, know, whatever it is that you want to do, like you, you can do it. Once you get through nursing school, everything else just comes into play and you'll eventually find your niche. You'll find what you're passionate about in nursing. And don't be afraid to keep going. That's the beauty of nursing is you can, you can, sky's the limit with nursing. You can do anything with, whether it's supporting other nurses, being an instructor, being an educator, prescribing, it's truly limitless. I think that's, that's it. Like sky's the limit. Keep going. It's doable. it's so doable. So doable. We're here to tell you that. That's why we exist. Get it done. Enjoy the process as much as you possibly can along the way. Find your people and then sky's the limit. Man, that's, I couldn't say it better myself. Ashley, thank you so much again for giving of your time to pour into the lives of others once again. thank you, Eric. It's been a pleasure. Awesome. We'll be sure to visit you again in a future episode. How does that sound? Yes. Alright. Have a good day. You too.