68 - Sarah Byers: Being More Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Join nurse and Spokane, Washington native Honored Guest Sarah Byers as she chats about going back for her FNP, getting active, her family influence, making the difficult decision to change jobs from her dream job and how that set her on her new path, using food as a crutch, feeling more comfortable being uncomfortable, working through online education during the COVID pandemic, her night shift tips, and more!

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Transcript

0:01

Welcome to this special episode of Feeding Our Young. I know I keep saying they're special, but that's because each one of them are. And everybody that graces their presence in this virtual studio is special to me. And I'm not going to waste a lot of time introducing our next amazing honored guest, only to say that we used to be coworkers. And now, sadly, we haven't been for a long time. So selfishly, that is another reason why I got her in the studio so I could see her and interact with her again. Ladies and gentlemen. Sarah Byers, how are you Sarah? I am really good, how are you? I am peachy keen, thanks. It's the end of a day and it's been a day. So you know what? We're just gonna end it with a bang. It's gonna be amazing. What, let's just jump right in, Sarah. Let's introduce you to the vast world that is defeating our young audience. Whatever that means by the time your episode airs. What school did you go to? When did you graduate? And or are you done? I went to Washington State University and I graduated in 2021 with my bachelor's and now I'm back at Gonzaga working on my FNP. FNP. What the heck does that stand for for casual listeners? a family nurse practitioner. Family Nurse Practitioner, you are going to be absolutely amazing as a Family Nurse Practitioner. When did you start this journey? Or has it started yet? Are you starting this semester? I've only done one semester so far, and it's good. It's less intense than nursing school so far, at least. That's amazing. Like, I can't believe that that, you you said less intense, yes? Well, so far I'm one class in, so we shall see. We shall see. I don't, I mean, I feel like the people that I talk to who have gone back for advanced degrees, you know what mean, those post -graduate degrees, they seem to a person say that it is a little less, I mean, it's still challenging in its own different way, but it's not the same extreme challenge that nursing school is. So, so far, you're in that camp, yes? Yeah. that continues. I hope so too for you. That'll be awesome. I mean, you've got all the clinical stuff, know, fun stuff you get to look forward to and assessments and all that, but I mean, it's something you're gonna be passionate about. So it'll be great, right? Yes. so where's home for you, Sarah? in Spokane, Washington. Awesome. What do you love most about home? I really love our hot summers. I don't love that we have really cold winters, but I love our hot summers and lakes and nature around here. Yeah, it's very nice to be able to get away and to decompress from all the nursing things, yeah? Yes. So speaking of all the nursing things, what are the three words you would use, you chose to use to describe nursing school? I chose challenging, rewarding, and stressful. We'll get your take on why you chose those words at the end of your episode. Also, very unfair of me, as I keep forgetting to remind people before I get them in studio, there's a new question to add at the beginning that I'm asking everybody. So. And if you need time to look stuff up, go ahead. So that question would be, what are your three favorite songs in life right now? Beautiful Things by Benson Boone, Fast Car by Luke Combs, and King of Anything by Sara Bareilles. intriguing. I am 0 for 3 in that department, which is great news because that means I get to hear them and I get to hear what songs you like. It's partially selfish, but also, I mean... Everybody is always, I feel like almost anyone is open to like, hey, what do you like to listen to? Like, give me some ideas. What are we listening to? So thank you for that. Besides music, because I know it's hard to whittle things down to just your three favorites, what are other hobbies or interests that occupy your time when you're not trying to chase after your FNP? Well, I do really love music, so I do a lot of listening to music. I like to sing, not in any way other than for myself for the most part. A little karaoke sometimes. I like watching TV. I like to go out on the boat with my family and swim. And I like to run, which is not something I ever thought I would be doing except for if someone were chasing me, but... Well, I mean, okay, as a fellow runner, then I have to ask how in the world did that become part of your routine if it was something you were not ever planning on doing? Well, I never exercised regularly at all until about a year and a half ago. And I started just walking on the treadmill and got to a point that I thought, can I even run? Is that something I'm capable of? So I started running for two minutes at a time and added a little bit. I don't run as long of distances as you, but I... Well, I've only been running for about eight months, so it could happen. I love it, I love it. if that ever happens, you gotta let me know. I will cheer you on every step of the way. So that's amazing. Any TV shows that you find yourself gravitating to? My husband and I are watching House of the Dragon right now. So good. And I like, amazingly as a nurse, like corny medical dramas, police dramas. I do. Okay. And do you nitpick those at all, top to bottom? That's what makes it hard for me. Like, I can't separate myself from the, that was wrong, or, you I don't know. Tries me nuts. does not start the IV and push the meds and all of that. and or spend, you know, an inordinate amount of time in the patient room too. Again, we're not trashing providers, just saying different roles, different roles and definitely different from TV. How about traveling then? Have you done any running or, you know, walking or otherwise? Anywhere outside the country? Any favorite destinations? My husband and I went to Cancun earlier in the year and hadn't really been outside the country much at all before that, but it was amazing. Have you, so speaking of husband, would you like to share, what would you like to share about your family? Do you have a family and whether that means like your nuclear family or your greater family at large? Yes, my husband is rich and I mean, he's not, I don't know, maybe a little. We got, we have a little money. We're all right. But his name, his name is Rich. I would just like everyone to know that I am on The Real Housewives of Spokane. You can catch me in season 7, because my husband is rich -ard. Sorry, continue, that was awesome. He's pretty great. He is an attorney and he practices workers compensation and personal injury. So he represents injured workers mostly. And then I have two sons. Casey is almost 19 and is starting at Eastern. He did Running Start at Eastern, so he's going to be starting as a junior, which is awesome. And he wants to become a history teacher. And then my younger son will be 15 tomorrow, and he's starting high school. He loves to play football. And my whole family are really big Seahawks fans. as they should be. sorry, was that a biased statement there? Are they now whole family including you or all of them? including me. I didn't care about football at all before I met my husband, so he kind of created a monster. Okay, then we have to go there. What do you feel about the current state of the Seahawks and their new head coach? Are you feeling more optimistic or pessimistic and why? You know, I don't feel as if I have educated myself enough on how good or bad he is. I, emotionally, I feel sad that Pete Carroll is gone. But, hopefully it'll be a good thing. I agree. I was always a Pete guy, Pete Carroll. I just love him. Like, it's just his enthusiasm. I mean, it's contagious. But near the end of that season, I told my dad, said, Dad, this is, we watched the Arizona game, the very last game of the season. And I said, Dad, this is, win or lose, this is his last game, especially if they lose. So then they win, of course, but by that point, I think they knew they were winning for nothing. And they still won. And I was like, no, he's gone. And dad's like, no, what do you mean? Like Pete, no, he's like, I was like, yeah, no. And so I am sad that he left as well. do have eternal optimism, of course, though, that this nice, young, half the age of Pete Carroll head coach will just take that defense to the next level. So here you go, guys. It's Seahawks Talk, special edition with Sarah Byers and Eric Miller. All right, enough about that, enough about that. Let's get on to more important questions such as, do you have any health care workers in your family? I do, my mom was a dental assistant and my dad was a cardiac and vascular sonographer. So it's kind of in your blood, yeah? I guess so. Or not. Why? Like why did you become a nurse? What made you decide you wanted to become a nurse? the thing that comes to mind is my grandpa. he just always used to tell me that I was caring and nurturing and that I would be a great nurse. I don't really know how much of that made me decide to do it in reality, but that always kind of stuck with me. That's awesome. I mean, like just that voice in the back of your head that's always confr and now here you are, a nurse. So, and, and, so I guess I asked who inspired you to become a nurse. There was that slightly different version of the question that you answered differently about why did you want to become a nurse? I became a nurse because I felt like I had a, always had a nurturing personality and I've always been really intrigued by and passionate about pregnancy and birth. So I always felt like I wanted to work in labor and delivery was my, initially what I wanted to work in. Interesting. So let's follow that up with, is that what you're currently doing? does your nursing path look like so far, and what do you hope to do in the future with your FNP? So I got a job as a nurse tech on labor and delivery while I was still in school. And then got a job as a new grad on the same unit, labor and delivery. And I worked nights for about six months, which was not my jam. I liked, I liked all the people on nights and the vibe, but I started out nursing later in life and was very used to sleeping at night. So that was difficult for me. Six months is not that long to work nights really before getting a day shift. And day shift was better for me. But just working at the hospital, the hours, I decided not to do it anymore. And it was a really difficult choice for me because it was what my dream job was and I got it right out of school. And I did like a lot about it, but I decided to move to working at an OB -GYN clinic. That's what I do now. The work -life balance is a lot better for me and I still get to work with the patient population that I'm passionate about. And it opened up a new opportunity. I never had thought I would go back to school. A lot of people I went to school with had a goal at the time to move on further than the bachelor's and I never did. But working here with nurse practitioners made me. interested in it and feel like it was something I could do and could be good at so decided to do it. That's amazing. you get to like, I mean, did you kind of pick their brains as to, you know what I mean? is that, I love having, anyone who knows me knows that I get annoying. Like I'll just be like, Sarah, so I might have a chance to move to days. Like, what do you like about days? What do you not like about days? What do you, you know what I mean? Do you pick people's brains? Do you get a feel for things before you jump into them? Or are you kind of like, nah, this looks pretty awesome. I'm gonna do it. I definitely did. And all the nurse practitioners I worked with said, you know, it'll be hard work, but you won't regret it. You should absolutely do it. You'll be good at it. So decided to do it. And working with Women's Health and all that business, you said from very, very early on, you knew that that was the area you wanted to head into. Was there any particular reason for that? Is that something you picked up in school or where does that come to be in your life? You know, I don't really know. I've just always been really intrigued by pregnancy and birth and, you know, when we watched videos of birth in school and everybody said, gross. I thought it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. And that was it. That's all that took. There's no magical, right? Yeah. And that's, I love that about people because I love asking that question because for nursing students who are listening, right, they're waiting for their moment. And sometimes you get a moment and you're like, my goodness, I want to do this. Other people they knew very early on, I've had a couple people that were like, well, I heard nursing was good paying. And, you know, I thought, well, I like caring for people. So. I gave it a shot. You know what mean? It's just you get the whole gamut of answers. So the idea that you knew very early on, at least the area that you wanted to practice in, and it didn't take a clinical experience or something along those lines, I think that's awesome and to be commended. So thank you for sharing that. On a little more personal note before we dive into the nursing school stuff, would you like to share about any challenges you've had in your life, whether they related specifically to nursing school or just personal, and then how do you deal with challenges as they present themselves? think I've been pretty lucky in life to have, I mean everybody has challenges, but when I have, I've had great people to help me and support me, but I think the biggest challenge so far has been being a single mom for a while. think I rely a lot on people and their support. My parents have been a major support in my life when I was a single mom and always, and my husband and my friends. Honestly, in the past, I used to use food as a crutch often, but now I exercise and running has been really helpful for me for stress relief and... coping with stress. Yeah, that's amazing. And I think that's awesome of you to share that because that's something that doesn't really come out to light very often. You know what I mean? In this podcast, people have talked about, know, please, please, please. In fact, just the honored guest before you that I sat down with, she said she had an instructor that encouraged them all in your first year of nursing. Once you graduate and you become a nurse, if you have alcohol in your home, get it out of your home. just for the first year because there's that temptation of, you know, I mean, it can cause all sorts of this, that and the other. so alcohol gets harped on a lot. that's been a theme here on this podcast as well. But you're the first person to mention food and using food as a crutch. I mean, I don't want to even pretend as though I know what you've been through in that regards. I just know that when I went back for my masters, like, there is something comforting about eating even when you're not hungry. And it established some very bad habits in me that I unfortunately have still yet to shake. Yes, I run all over the place. And I, you know, I just, but I... The fast food thing, man. Like, you know, I got into the habit of eating McDonald's in the morning, you know, and I got used to, I never drink coffee, and now I'm a, you know, 12 ounce mocha granita, you know, I mean, I do that every day. Like, and it's stupid, because it's not, whatever. But it's, it's, it's those habits you know that you didn't have, that you feel like you really should break. And yet, it's hard to do that. If you don't mind being vulnerable, that's up to you. And we're not asking numbers here. I don't do that. I knew very early on, my mom says, there's a couple things you never ask a woman. Not talking about that. But I would like to ask, like, for those that struggle with that, that use food as a crutch or, you know, food, drink, anything that they use that they consume to... deal with the nervous energy, to deal with whatever. How did you break that cycle? Like, was there a moment? Was there something that happened? How did you overcome that particular challenge? And I don't even want to say overcome, because maybe that's it's an ongoing thing for you, if you can expound on Yeah, I struggled with emotional eating and varying weight issues throughout my life and tried lots of different things. I don't really know what... exactly clicked this time. Part of it was that I had, you know, my blood pressure was going up a little bit. It wasn't anything crazy, but a little. My fasting glucose was going up a little bit and I didn't want to be sick. I wanted to try to take care of those things before they were a big issue. So that was a motivation for sure. And I think for me, doing things in moderation was helpful instead of trying to do keto or you know something that was really extreme. mean exercise regularly was giant for whatever I've tried lots of times in life to do it and I'd do it for two weeks or a month and stop. So I don't know why I continued this time but I did and got to that point that it was just a habit and started feeling good and then For food, just eating less for the most part. I didn't cut anything out completely was a big thing to me. If I feel like having a little something sweet, I do just a little bit. If I feel like having chips, I have a handful instead of bringing the bag with me to the couch, which is hard to do at first with anything, whether it's food or whatever it is. And that doesn't work for everything. If you struggle with alcohol or smoking or whatever it is, it doesn't really work to just do that a little bit, depending on the situation. me, that's what's worked best and I think just seeing the results and feeling so much better has made it stick for me this time. Amazing kudos to you because again, that's not there's nothing easy about any of that. Like you said, especially at first, you know the To preach just moderation, you know, I it's it's for some people that nope. I gotta go cold turkey I've I often say for me the switch is on or the switch is off and I don't know what that is about me I don't know that's something I guess I get to work with in therapy at some point but until I get to that point I always tell my wife like either Either I'm, you know, alcohol is a part of my life and I'll drink it casually or whatever, or I just don't need it. I don't, you know what mean? I don't want any of that. And so whatever that is in your life, like we're going to now patent the Sarah Byers method of dealing with those challenges in life by preaching moderation. So if you're addicted to reading your texts, Maybe we don't go moderate there. I don't want to... I was like, I was doing great in school until Eric said practice moderation and so then I stopped studying. So that probably wouldn't work out very well. But anyway, Sarah, thank you for being open and honest about that as far as that goes. Challenges take many forms, many shapes and things of that nature. So are there, guess I'll bridge that gap. Did you have any thinking back all the way back? to nursing school a few years back. Was there anything in particular that you found challenging and how did you face those challenges? I think the biggest challenge for me in nursing school was learning practical skills and having someone watch me do those for the first time or multiple times when you don't really feel like you know what you're doing yet. I've always felt like I should be able to do everything perfectly the first time. Mm And I definitely don't want someone watching me not do it well. So, I mean, that's what you do over and over again when you're learning, whether it's in skills lab or in clinicals. And then once you feel like you know what you're doing, then you move on to something else and you start all over. So. I mean, I think just having to do it helped me overcome that challenge and. I still feel uncomfortable if I have to do something new, especially if people are watching me, but somehow having to do things like that over and over again, feel more comfortable being uncomfortable, if that makes sense. It's uncomfortable, but I can do it fine. I don't worry so much about it beforehand. And I think it's helped in life in general. Having to just be thrown into things and do it makes me feel more like I can do that with other things. And think that's a lot of people speak towards maybe the transfer, the transformative nature of nursing school, entering one person, leaving another. But I feel like that's part of it, right? Because it's easy to get comfortable in things. then, you know what mean? You get into nursing school and if there is nothing else about it, it's totally uncomfortable. Whether it's someone watching you do something or you having to get a certain grade on a test and it's a subject that you do not like at all. whatever the case may be. I mean, just as a general question, Sarah, why do you think that is? It's always hard for, I feel like many of us, to do these skills for a new time and to have someone watching everything you do. I think there's a level of performance anxiety where you're going, man, I feel like I could totally do this if you weren't watching, but you're watching and now I, know, whether it's like test anxiety. Like, what do you think that is? What is it about human nature that we get freaked out about that? I don't know, I think that it's a problem for me, or at least was, more than most people for some reason. And so I think that's part of the reason why it was such a way for me to grow, just having to do it. I don't know what it is, but I think it's something that... we don't think other people should worry about. Like, of course you're not gonna know how to do this right away. That's what I would say to anybody else, but if it's me, I should know for some reason that makes no sense. We're often harder on ourselves than we are on others, for sure. sure. So still discussing that nursing school experience, what are some of the other memories? So what did you love most about nursing school? Like for anybody that's listening out there, like what kind of things did you enjoy? If that's even it, can we go that far? I don't know. I think now that it's over, we can go that far. I I was not quite halfway through nursing school when COVID started. So we had in -person classes and skills labs and everything. And then it went very quickly to nothing in person. We couldn't do clinicals for a semester. And I don't like not being around other people. I did fine in online learning, but I preferred being in the classroom with other people and balancing ideas off other people, studying with other people, practicing skills with other people when it wasn't a test. So. I don't know, just the human aspect of learning with others was the best part of it for me. What semester was it for you or semesters that you really kind of couldn't go into clinical, couldn't be around people? Where were you in your journey when that happened? I was halfway through my second semester. Okay, is it junior year? J2? Yes. Yeah, okay. And then, so what did that look like coming out of COVID and out of the pandemic into your senior year? Was it kind of a modified thing? Did they end up, you know what I mean? By the end of your nursing school experience, by the time you had to do practicum, were you able to then, obviously not do it like we are known to do it, but were you able to at least get in public, get hands on patients, that sort of thing? Yeah, we were able to go back to clinicals the beginning of my third semester, so it was really only about half a semester that we couldn't at all. We didn't really go back to Skills Lab, not in the same way where you could just go in and practice things whenever they were open. We had specific times that you could go and it was really just the minimum. And we didn't have as many clinical hours as I think that we would have otherwise, but close after that semester. And by the time I was in practicum, I had... We were masked and everything like everybody was for a long time, but we were able to do practicum the same. Good. you, did you, I'm sorry if you mentioned this before, were you able to do practical in labor and delivery or did you have to go somewhere else and what was that like? Okay. at Sacred Heart. Yes, you were, weren't you? I'm like, wait a second. Yes, but I remember seeing you around. I'm like, now it's finally clicking for me, because I didn't move over to Postpartum until 2020. And so, yeah, I was still relatively newer there, I think, when you were doing Practicum. And, you know, like you said, you were on days, I was on nights, and it's weird how the two shifts, you're two halves of the same coin. But man, there's a lot of culture difference, there's a lot of like, I know that person, because I give them a report, or they give me a report, but you don't work alongside them the same way. What would be your advice to nursing students who are going, man, there were these opportunities to do day shifts and now I'm graduating and it seems it's kind of back to the way things used to be and I'm gonna have to do nights for a while and I'm not looking forward to it. What would be your encouragement to those nursing students? Yeah, get some good earplugs and a good white noise machine or music or something. I mean, there's a lot of good things about nights, at least. I mean, I only have labor and delivery to go off of, but... I think that oftentimes there's a little bit less going on. On labor and delivery, it kind of depends. Sometimes that's not the case, but as far as procedures and not as many doctors on the floor and maybe better opportunity to ask questions and learn a little more, oftentimes I think this is probably the case in other units, but on labor and delivery, there's often a lot of... younger, newer nurses. There were experienced nurses too. There were always somebody there to ask questions if you needed it, but I guess people who were a little closer to where you were and understanding what it's like to be new, to support and ask questions of. That's a nice list of positives. Those crazy of us that said we would never leave and never, you know what mean, or did it for a number of years and all the things. so it's a good blend, it's a good mix, but like you said, I love the culture. I miss my night shift buddies. But I don't miss the toll it took on my body. I'm not gonna lie, like I don't, in the early years it was easier, because I just, I slept soundly, I didn't have to take anything to sleep during the day, I just, the running gag in my house was if a fire alarm was going off and nobody was here, if they were all at school, I was gonna die. Like that was it. Just say, bye dad, it was nice to know you, bye husband, because I wasn't gonna wake up. And then that gradually changed as I got older. you you said, you're like, as you get older, you're used to being a human. and know what mean, and then you're being forced into this night shift thing. And so thank you for giving some practical advice as far as that goes. As we wrap up your episode, we'll bring it back around to the original question that I asked. What were the three words that you chose to describe nursing school and why did you pick them? So I chose the words challenging, rewarding, and stressful. You know, at first, the first thing that comes to your mind is what positive word can I come up with here? In other words, you're saying you sometimes have to work harder to come up with the positive words, yeah? Yes, yes. But I mean, it's challenging and stressful because it's tough, you know? There's no way to get around that fact. It's tough. I personally felt a lot of pressure, which I think a lot of people in nursing school do, to get the very best grades. I mean, partly because it's so competitive and just because I think a lot of us are kind of perfectionists. But... It is, there's a lot to learn in a fairly short amount of time. You learn a little bit about a lot of things and you feel like you have to do perfectly at all of it. But it's challenging for a good reason. You have to learn a lot to become a nurse. But I chose rewarding because even though it is challenging and stressful and all sorts of words I'm sure people in nursing school right now could come up with, it's also rewarding because for me at least I felt a big sense of accomplishment with the new knowledge and skills that I gained. I guess just when you're done, the fact that you were able to do it. You got into a nursing school in the first place, which can be difficult, and you did it, you got through it, but Really, I think I would say even having been a little older when I went to nursing school, parenting by myself and with someone else and you know, just all the other things in life, I really think it was the hardest thing that I've done. And I don't say that in a, you know, to make people nervous about it or not want to continue, but it's hard and it's a lot and there's a lot of work to do. It's time consuming, but... It's definitely doable and it's worth it. And I think the perspective you offer is very good as well. Like that whole idea of, I'm not saying this to scare you. But what it does is someone listens to Sarah say that. Say, you know, this is one of the more challenging things I've ever done, including being a single parent, parenting with somebody else, et cetera, et cetera. It's one of the more challenging things out there. You're not doing it to drive fear. What it does is someone's coming to this podcast, hearing your episode and going, that's exactly how I feel. So it really is that bad. Am I just making it out to be that bad? No, Sarah said it's really that bad. So you know what I mean? I feel like there's validation in a way with all of us just commiserating about how miserable it can be sometimes, to be perfectly honest. So awesome. So the last question, the question I like to ask everybody. If there's one thing you want nursing students, fellow nurses, nurse instructors, whoever, to take away from your episode, what would that be? I think to work hard, whether it's in school or your job, but don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect. And for those in school still, that you don't have to know everything when you graduate. You won't know everything when you graduate. You won't know everything after you've been a nurse for a while. You'll learn as you go and there are... For me, I had a lot of people who were helpful when I first started. I didn't really experience a lot of nurses eating their young. Thank goodness. I mean a little, a little, but I really did feel like I had a lot of support. And if you are someplace that you don't have a lot of that, there will be people who will be there for you. Find them and rely on them and don't be afraid to ask questions because you're not going to have all the answers you shouldn't. And if you think you do, there's a problem. That's where the problem exists, exactly. my goodness. Sarah, thank you so much for, I mean, this is after a shift, you guys. Sarah is like, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it after work, that sounds fine. And it's a Tuesday that we're recording this, so you gotta go back to work tomorrow, right? Yes, but only eight hours. Only eight hours, thank goodness. Actually, I gotta go to work tomorrow too, but for slightly longer than eight. But that's okay. Point is, I'm doing this because I wanna do this. You're doing this because you are doing it out of love of other people, your passion for helping people, and I just, I can't thank you enough, so thank you, Sarah. I hope you get home safe and have a lovely night's rest for your eight hour shift tomorrow. You too. Thank you. Thank you.